- 2 days ago
First broadcast 17th February 1981.
Gertrude cooks Robin a decent meal to stop him eating cold baked beans.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Tessa Wyatt - Vicky
Tony Britton - James Nicholls
David Kelly - Albert
Peggy Aitchison - Gertrude
Patsy Rowlands - Edna
Gertrude cooks Robin a decent meal to stop him eating cold baked beans.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Tessa Wyatt - Vicky
Tony Britton - James Nicholls
David Kelly - Albert
Peggy Aitchison - Gertrude
Patsy Rowlands - Edna
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:30There we are. Bye-bye's time. Go to sleep.
00:36There's my good boy.
00:38Give it! Staff nurse wants to know if you've done your exercises.
00:42I've just got the babies off to sleep, so...
00:43Am I the type being a good boy, then?
00:45Yes, I'm sure he's asleep as well. If you could just...
00:47Just like his father, lazy little beggar.
00:49Keep your voice down, Edna!
00:51Shut up! Vicky, wake the babies!
00:53Ah, there, there, little fella. You go back to sleep, then.
00:58Mummy's so silly thing, didn't she?
01:02You know, you're marvellous with babies, Edna.
01:05Oh, there should be love. It's me six.
01:07Six?
01:08I'm not like you, you know. I only produce them one at a time.
01:11Vicky, how shall the old man get on with feeding himself while you're in here?
01:16Oh, fine. He owns the restaurant.
01:18Oh, very nice. And he, too, can pop in there for a meal on his way home from work.
01:23Well, no, that is his work, Edna. He's the chef.
01:27Can they cook, then?
01:28Can they cook?
01:29He's the chef, Edna. Of course he can cook.
01:32Oh, I don't, Father.
01:33Me and Tommy's been to a few restaurants where the chef can't cook for tofu.
01:37Well, I know what you mean, but my Robin's a really good cook.
01:40Oh, well, maybe one night me and Tommy will come in for a meal.
01:43Yes, do. It's French food.
01:44Maybe we'll give it a miss.
01:47French food's delicious.
01:48Ah, it's not me, love. It's my Tommy.
01:50He's very funny about his grub.
01:52Has a dicky tummy, as Tommy.
01:54Now, you give him a plate of jellied eels and he's happy.
01:56He's a bit squeamish about that foreign muck.
01:59Well, I'm sure if he can eat jellied eels he can eat our foreign muck.
02:02Don't tell me, love. I know I cook for him. Drives me mad.
02:06I tell you, Vic, you don't know how lucky you are that your old man can cook.
02:11Mmm. Well, I must say, Edna, it is comforting to know that while I'm in here
02:14the one thing I don't have to worry about is whether Robin's eating sensibly.
02:28Oh, for goodness sake, Mr. Tritt. Eat something decent, not cold baked beans.
02:34Cold baked beans are all right, Gertrude.
02:36Yeah, but not for breakfast.
02:38It's not my breakfast, it's the supper I didn't have last night.
02:40Mr. Tritt.
02:41I can't help it, Gertrude. It must be all exciting. I just don't fancy anything.
02:46Bloody fancy baked beans.
02:48But why are you eating them?
02:53I don't know.
02:55Could we eat something?
02:57Exactly, Mr. Tritt. Something decent.
03:00A plate of ice, St. King, if I wouldn't go amiss.
03:03Albert!
03:04Yes, my precious.
03:05Talk to Mr. Tritt, will you?
03:07Oh, certainly. I like a nice chat.
03:10What would you like to talk about, Mr. Tritt? The Irish problem.
03:13No, Albert, we'll talk about you later on.
03:16I've got some work to do.
03:17I've got some sort of family now, you know.
03:19Albert, tell Mr. Tritt to get some decent food inside him.
03:24Gertrude, do you think it's right and proper for me, a humble employee,
03:29to lecture Mr. Tritt, my humble employer, about food?
03:33That shows a lack of respect.
03:34No, I think what...
03:35Please, Mr. Tritt, there are times when a man's got to say what a man's got to say.
03:42I'm very, very sorry. I beg your pardon. The floor is yours.
03:46Yes, and I'll sweep it in a minute.
03:49But if you shut up, I'll explain to Gertrude how important it is to show respect for one's employer.
03:56Ah, fine.
03:57For goodness sake, stop wittering on, you great Irish loon. Shut up and listen to me.
04:03Yes, my precious.
04:04Mr. Tritt has not had a decent meal since the twins were born. Do you know what he had for
04:08breakfast?
04:09I've no idea. Mr. Tritt Gertrude would like to know what you had for breakfast.
04:14Albert, I know what he had for breakfast.
04:17Oh, it's all right, Mr. Tritt, she's just remembered.
04:20Good, Miss.
04:21I'll tell you what he had. Cold baked beans.
04:24Lovely.
04:25It is not lovely. Cold baked beans isn't a proper breakfast. Would you eat baked beans for breakfast?
04:32I'd eat baked beans any time, hot or cold, I love them.
04:36Well, there we are then, Albert. Cold baked beans in Evanses. On the house. Compliments of the chef, your humble
04:42employer.
04:42Ah, thanks, Mr. Tritt. I was feeling a bit peckish.
04:50Do you know, Albert, something tells me that when you get married to Gertrude, you're not going to find baked
04:54beans on the menu very often.
04:55Well, I never realised she had such an aversion to baked beans.
04:59Well, it's lucky you found out these things. These things are very important, you know, before you get married.
05:03Now, Gertrude, there's no need for violence.
05:06Albert, go and sweep out the restaurant.
05:09Yes, my precious.
05:11Mr. Tripp, you sit down while I make your lunch. Nice steak and kidney pie.
05:16Very nice of you, good about that.
05:17Mr. Tripp, sit down on the house.
05:23Yes, my precious.
05:29Mmm, oh, Gertrude.
05:32It's absolutely delicious. I didn't realise how hungry I was.
05:35It looks lovely, Mr. Tripp.
05:37Oh, it's very, very, very tasty, Albert.
05:40You know, you're a very lucky fellow.
05:41Oh, I didn't have any.
05:44I know because I've been marrying a wonderful cook.
05:47Yeah, well, I'll have to take your word for that.
05:50Unless...
05:52Your lunch is in the bin.
05:54Cold baked beans.
05:55Ah, but Gertrude...
05:56Oh, you said you could eat them any time hot or cold.
06:01Would you like some more, Mr. Tripp?
06:03Oh, thank you, Gertrude.
06:04Through helpings are more than enough, thank you.
06:06Give the rest to Albert.
06:07Are you sure there's one healthy left?
06:10Yes, yes, yes, yes, he's sure.
06:14What's the matter with him?
06:14I'm hungry.
06:16Oh.
06:17Well, I'm just on my way to see the grandchildren.
06:19Any messages?
06:20Well, tell them I'm hungry.
06:23Yeah, tell them that their dad is alive and well,
06:25still slaving over a hot stove.
06:26Ah, yes, a pity you're working this afternoon.
06:28Yeah, well, somebody's got to prepare tonight's menu
06:30to get the profits rolling into your pocket.
06:32Well, after all, I am sleeping, partner.
06:34Yeah, you can say that again.
06:36Give my lap a picking.
06:37Oh, yes, Mr. Nick.
06:39Very well, I'll see you all later.
06:44What is that smell?
06:46It's me, Mr. Nickles.
06:49I beg your pardon?
06:51It's my steak and kidney pie.
06:53I insisted on Mr. Tripp having a proper lunch.
06:58Oh, I'm very fond of steak and kidney pie.
07:00So am I.
07:02With all the excitement, I haven't had a decent meal for days.
07:04Oh, say no more, Mr. Nickles.
07:07There's helping left.
07:08Yes, there's warm helping left.
07:11You have it, Mr. Nickles.
07:13It'll only go to waste.
07:15Well, why not?
07:17Mmm.
07:21Mmm.
07:23That's delicious, Catherine.
07:24Mmm.
07:25You're a very lucky man, Myrtle.
07:27So I believe.
07:31Isn't it rich?
07:34Isn't it queer?
07:37It's a quarter to three, Edna.
07:39Losing my time in this late
07:43In my career
07:47Sand in the clouds
07:50Edna, it's a quarter to three.
07:52Yeah.
07:53The proud fathers will be here any minute.
07:55Better make ourselves beautiful, eh?
07:57Mmm.
08:00There.
08:01That's better.
08:05You see,
08:06I only don't mind my saying
08:09that I do think your husband's ever so good looking.
08:13Oh, thank you.
08:14Ever so...
08:16distinguished.
08:18Do you think so?
08:20Very dishy.
08:21Well, I must tell him.
08:24Mind you, I think your husband looks very nice, too.
08:27My back's on me.
08:29Oh, he's all right.
08:31He's no Brian O'Neill, but he's got all the gold.
08:34Never keeps me short of anything.
08:36Especially kids.
08:38Hello, darling.
08:40Oh, hello. You're right on time.
08:42Hello.
08:43Good afternoon.
08:43See you later, Vic.
08:44Just off to have a quick word with staff.
08:46Bye.
08:50See you later, Vic.
08:52Really, Victoria, you shouldn't allow the cleaners to talk to you like that.
08:55That's not a cleaner. That's Edna.
08:57She's in that bed over there.
08:59You mean she's a mother?
09:01Six times over.
09:03Good Lord.
09:04Oh, Dad.
09:05Come and say hello to your grandchildren.
09:07Hey, guess who's come to see you?
09:09Your snobby grandpa.
09:12Victoria, I am not a slob.
09:13Frankly, I would have preferred my grandchildren to have been born in a private nursing home.
09:18Especially the boy.
09:19Oh.
09:21Well, well, well.
09:23You're a clever girl, darling.
09:25Hello.
09:26Say hello to grandpa.
09:29Hello, grandpa.
09:33Pretty advanced, isn't it?
09:36What a lovely surprise.
09:38Come and sit down.
09:39Wait a minute. I just want to say hello to Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
09:42Hello, you two.
09:43Do you remember me?
09:44I'm your daddy.
09:46Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
09:48It's about time you chose some proper names for her.
09:50We've got plenty of time for that.
09:51We've got another six weeks before we have to register you two, don't we, eh?
09:54Robin, how did you manage to get the afternoon off?
09:57Oh, er, somebody else is sorting out the menu.
09:59Oh, really? Who?
10:01Gertrude.
10:02Gertrude?
10:04Shh, shh.
10:04Wake up the babies.
10:05But Gertrude can't cook.
10:06Well, you ate her steak and kidney pie quick enough.
10:08You know perfectly well what I mean.
10:09She is not capable of preparing an entire meal.
10:12Oh, yes, darling.
10:13I mean, I'm thrilled to see you, but I think Dad's right.
10:15No, it's all been organised, Ricky.
10:17On tonight's menu we're having steak and kidney pie, Lancashire hot pot, Bubba and Squeak,
10:22your good old sausage and mash, you know, traditional English fare.
10:25Traditional English fare?
10:27Why not?
10:27In a French bistro.
10:29Brilliant.
10:30Well, we'll say it's a common market ruling.
10:33He's an idiot.
10:34Well, he may be an idiot, but I'm thrilled to see him.
10:38Oh, I must introduce you to Edna, that mum over there.
10:41She thinks you're very distinguished.
10:43What, me?
10:43Him?
10:45Why not?
10:47Edna, come and say hello to my husband.
10:49Oh, I'd love to.
10:51Here, hello, Mr. Tripp.
10:54Congratulations on two beautiful babies.
10:58Here, can I kiss the proud father then?
11:00Certainly, yes.
11:01He's just behind you.
11:03Oh.
11:06Hello?
11:07This is my father, Edna.
11:09Oh.
11:10I'll have to kiss the proud grandfather then, won't I?
11:13Oh.
11:24Now then, Albert.
11:25Stop zacking.
11:26I need more plates.
11:27Yes, my precious.
11:29Oh.
11:29Oh, I'll tell you something, Albert.
11:32This makes me realise how hard Mr. Tripp works.
11:35I couldn't do this every evening.
11:38Thank the Lord for that.
11:40I beg your pardon?
11:41Oh, I said thank the Lord for that.
11:43I was a terrible thirst.
11:45Right, Gertrude.
11:45Two apple turnovers, one steak and kidney pie.
11:47Oh, there's only one steak and kidney pie left.
11:50And I was saving that for Albert.
11:52Yes, you were saving that for me.
11:54Still, business is business.
11:57Never mind, Albert.
11:57If you're hungry, there's plenty of baked beans in the cupboard.
11:59Hey, Mr. Tripp, I said I like baked beans any time.
12:02Not all the time.
12:04Oh.
12:05Ah, Tripp, I want a word with you.
12:06I'd like to see you.
12:07We need all the help we can get.
12:08You know, they're clamming over Gertrude's cooking.
12:11I bought this blackboard for my grandchildren, Gertrude.
12:13I can't stop to chat, Mr. Nichols.
12:16We're washed off our feet this evening.
12:18Oh, yeah?
12:18We're very busy tonight.
12:20That's no good.
12:22I'll have to sit down for a couple of minutes.
12:23Oh, cheers, Albert.
12:24Tripp, what is the meaning of this?
12:26Hmm?
12:27Yes, you're quite right.
12:28The steak and kidney's off.
12:37You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you, Edna?
12:39Oh, it's lovely.
12:42It's getting so sad.
12:44She's given up everything for his happiness.
12:48You mean she married him?
12:50She's taking her final vows.
12:53Leaving him free to marry his former sweetheart, who's with child.
12:59With child?
13:01Edna, really.
13:05Better get a bit of kick for them at speed.
13:08Yeah.
13:09Night-night, Dad.
13:10Goodnight, Edna.
13:31Goodnight, Edna.
13:32Do you think so?
13:34Yeah.
13:35I shouldn't worry, though.
13:37They change a lot in the next few weeks.
13:43Well, that's a lot.
13:45Um, yeah.
13:47Oh.
13:49Can you put this somewhere?
13:51Yeah.
13:52Here, Mr. Nichols.
13:53Oh, thank you, Riddle.
13:55Night-night, child.
13:57Well, what am I going to do with this?
13:58Oh, don't be so helpless, Nichols.
14:00Find somewhere.
14:01All right, all right.
14:02Sorry, I'm sorry.
14:03I'm just a bit tired.
14:04So am I.
14:05In fact, I'd like to thank you very much for all your help.
14:08Ah, night-night, child, Mr. Nichols.
14:10That's all right.
14:11No, no, no, no.
14:13What I mean is, I'd like to thank Gertrude.
14:15Especially Gertrude.
14:16In fact, I'd like to make a little toast.
14:18Yeah, that's a good idea.
14:19She'll need a drink before she starts on this lot.
14:21Mr. Nichols.
14:22I'm certainly joking.
14:24After all the hard work that Gertrude's done today,
14:25you don't think I'd expect her to start on this lot tonight, do you?
14:28I should hope not.
14:28Certainly not.
14:29She can come in first thing in the morning and do it.
14:32Nichols.
14:33I was only joking.
14:35Gertrude knows when I'm joking, don't you, dear?
14:38Not really.
14:40Of course you do.
14:41Now, don't worry about the plates, Gertrude.
14:43Mr. Nichols and I will do it later on.
14:44Yes.
14:45What?
14:46Now, listen, here we are.
14:47Here we are, Gertrude.
14:47Now, I'd like to make a little toast to Gertrude,
14:50who makes a mean steak and kidney pie.
14:52Oh, I'll drink to that.
14:54So a joy, except I didn't have any.
14:57Never mind, Albert.
15:02This doesn't seem to be your day, does it?
15:04Never mind.
15:05Perhaps you'd like to toast Gertrude in baked beans.
15:27You know, you shouldn't have opened that other bottle of brandy.
15:29Oh, well, I had to give Albert another drink, didn't I?
15:31Yeah, I'm in the third bottle.
15:35What third bottle?
15:37The one before this bottle.
15:39Oh, yes.
15:39That was so that we could drink port and brandy.
15:42Port and brandy?
15:43Yeah.
15:43That's a good idea.
15:45Have you ever tried it?
15:46Of course, that's what we're drinking, isn't it?
15:51Oh, it's a killer, you know.
15:53What is it?
15:54Port and brandy.
15:56Have one.
15:57All right, then.
15:58You pour the port, and I'll pour the brandy.
16:02You pour the port, and I'll pour the brandy.
16:05All right, I'll pour the port, and you pour the brandy.
16:23Cheers.
16:24Down the hatch.
16:25Up yours.
16:30Oh, it's a lovely drink, port and brandy.
16:36It's a pity, you know, somebody was telling me it's a killer.
16:39So I believe.
16:40Yeah.
16:41But what way to go?
16:42Free.
16:44Oh, you're not.
16:46Are you?
16:47What?
16:48Gary?
16:49No, I live here.
16:51Oh, yeah, that's good.
16:54That's right.
16:56You're the chef.
16:57Yeah.
16:58A damn good chef, too.
17:00You are an excellent chef.
17:02Oh.
17:03No.
17:04No.
17:04No, I mean it.
17:06You are an excellent chef.
17:08And today you surpassed yourself.
17:11That steak and kidney pie was...
17:14was...
17:17magnificent.
17:19It was.
17:20Yeah.
17:20It was...
17:22It was very good.
17:23It was first class.
17:25Oh.
17:26Just like you.
17:28You know, you're a first class chap, Robin.
17:34You've made my daughter happy.
17:36And that makes me happy.
17:39And you've given me two beautiful little grandchildren.
17:43And that makes me happy, too.
17:46You've all made me very, very happy.
17:48Yeah.
17:49Miss Nicholls, can I...
17:51Can I say that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me?
17:54Please.
17:55And...
17:56No, uh...
17:57That...
17:58But...
18:00And...
18:01That you are the best grandfather my babies have ever had.
18:04Yeah.
18:06Yeah.
18:07Yeah.
18:07Uh...
18:08Well...
18:09I'm...
18:10I'm so happy.
18:14So am I, Miss Nicholls.
18:17Please...
18:19Call me by my first name.
18:22Oh, I...
18:23I'd love to.
18:25Because you see...
18:31You see...
18:34What is it?
18:37What?
18:39Which name?
18:40I've forgotten your name.
18:42Don't be ridiculous.
18:43I can't...
18:44I can't...
18:44I can't...
18:45Oh, come on.
18:47Don't be shy.
18:48Oh, not be shy.
18:49I can't remember your name.
18:55All right, then.
18:56I'll tell you.
19:02It's...
19:05It's...
19:08It's...
19:10Oh, that's stupid.
19:13I've had it all my life.
19:16Don't...
19:17Don't...
19:17Don't tell me.
19:17It's on the tip of my tongue.
19:20I...
19:22Oh, dear.
19:23I think I'd better be going home.
19:24No, no, I can't.
19:25No, don't go.
19:26No, no, no.
19:27Enough is enough.
19:28Oh.
19:30Home, James.
19:33That's it.
19:35That's it.
19:36James.
19:37James.
19:38Well, then, come on, James.
19:39We're going to have another drink on that one.
19:40No, no.
19:41I think I'd...
19:41I'd better not.
19:43I'm driving.
19:44What?
19:45I'm driving.
19:48Miss Nichols.
19:49Oh.
19:49Do you think it's a good idea?
19:51What?
19:52You...
19:52You may...
19:53You may have had one too many.
19:57Yeah?
19:57If you...
19:58If you...
19:58If you got breathalized...
20:00What?
20:01Well, you...
20:01You might not get away with it.
20:04It could go...
20:05It could go...
20:05It could go away.
20:07I mean, do you want...
20:08Do you want...
20:08Do you want...
20:09Do you want to risk it?
20:09Are you suggesting that I'm drunk?
20:11No, no.
20:12I've drunk better men than you under the table.
20:15I'm sure you're...
20:16I'm sure you're...
20:17I'm sure you're...
20:18What I would say to you, James, is...
20:20You could...
20:20You could be a...
20:21You could be a boring case.
20:24Hmm?
20:26Do you think...
20:27Do you think it's worth...
20:28Do you think it's worth it?
20:29Do you?
20:31Well...
20:31Yeah.
20:32It may be alright.
20:33You're a good fellow.
20:35Yeah?
20:35I'll walk.
20:36What?
20:36No, no, no, no, no.
20:38No, no, no.
20:38You stay here.
20:39No, no, no.
20:40I'm not...
20:41I'm not going to let you go home.
20:42I'm going home.
20:42No, you're not...
20:43No, you're not going home.
20:44I'm not going to let you go home.
20:47I'm not going to let you walk home.
20:49I am going to walk home.
20:50You're not going to walk home.
20:52I'm so...
20:52Push off!
20:55Mr. James, you're not going to walk home.
20:57I am going to walk home.
20:59Mr. James, you are my godfather.
21:02You're not my godfather.
21:03You're my grandfather.
21:05You're not even my grandfather.
21:07You're my baby's grandfather.
21:08And what have you got, eh?
21:10What have you got?
21:11Have you got some responsibility to do?
21:13Have you got some standards to set up?
21:14Slip!
21:16Shut up!
21:19I'm going to walk home.
21:31Where's the front door?
21:34Mr Nichols, I'm going to phone you a minicab.
21:37A minicab?
21:38Yeah, I'm going to phone you a minicab.
21:39My friend.
21:43I'll have to ring up the operator so that I can get the number.
21:46The number, yes.
21:56Shall I tell you something very odd?
21:59I can't dial.
22:02My fingers seem to have swollen since I became a daddy.
22:05Isn't that normal?
22:07Oh, yes, very common.
22:31Oh, I feel terrible.
22:33Oh, so do I.
22:43Miss Nichols.
22:45Oh.
22:47I know you're my sleeping partner, but we've got to stop meeting like this.
23:02The hospital theme continues.
23:04Oh my God.
23:04jump to you.
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