- 1 day ago
First broadcast 12th February 1980.
Robin has nightmares after he's told that he should be there at the birth.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Tessa Wyatt - Vicky
Tony Britton - James Nicholls
David Kelly - Albert
Peggy Aitchison - Gertrude
Derek Suthern - 1st Customer
Guy Standeven - 2nd Customer
Barry Jacob Noel - Father
Robin has nightmares after he's told that he should be there at the birth.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Tessa Wyatt - Vicky
Tony Britton - James Nicholls
David Kelly - Albert
Peggy Aitchison - Gertrude
Derek Suthern - 1st Customer
Guy Standeven - 2nd Customer
Barry Jacob Noel - Father
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Oh
00:42How about Kim? That's a strong name.
00:45For a dog, yes.
00:48Come on, it's an old English name. It means royally bred.
00:52Kim Tripp.
00:53Yes, sounds good. It's unusual.
00:56Why not call him Rover? That's unusual.
01:00Rover Tripp. Yes, that's not good.
01:03Do you know, I still can't get over Albert and Gertrude getting engaged.
01:07Oh, Robin, listen to this.
01:10During labour, the mother-to-be gets very thirsty,
01:12and a good idea is to soak a piece of natural sponge in water and suck it.
01:17That'll be something for you to do.
01:21If I'm thirsty, I'll just pop out for a drink.
01:23Oh, bird brain, the sponge is for me.
01:27Look, you're going to have to read this book if you're going to be present at the birth.
01:31Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I will, I will.
01:33Well, you do want to be there, don't you?
01:35Oh, of course I do.
01:39Yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world, but, you know,
01:42if you turned around to me and said,
01:45Robin, you don't have to be there,
01:47then I don't know what I'd say.
01:49Robin, you don't have to be there.
01:51Don't I?
01:51Well, no, if you don't want to.
01:54No, no, Vicky, Vicky, do you want me there?
01:57Now, come on, come on, give it to me straight.
02:00Do you want me to be there when you're having the baby?
02:03Yes.
02:04Then that's good enough for me.
02:06Thank you, darling.
02:08Vicky?
02:09Yes?
02:09I think there's something you ought to know.
02:11What?
02:11I'm nervous of fright.
02:14Oh, don't be silly, Robin.
02:16I'm the one that's having the baby.
02:17Yes, I know, but you know how squeamish I am.
02:20I most probably spoil it for everybody.
02:22I most probably faint, crack my head open,
02:25and then while I'm bleeding to death,
02:26you'll be choking on the bit of natural sponge
02:28I've dropped down your throat.
02:31You won't faint.
02:33Don't be silly.
02:34It's going to be a wonderful experience.
02:36Yes, you're right, you're right.
02:37Actually, my cousin Andrew was with his wife
02:39when they had their first baby.
02:41There you are, you see.
02:41What did he think?
02:42Not a lot.
02:43He fainted.
02:45And he's a doctor.
02:48I'm throwing in the sponge, Vicky.
02:50I'm throwing in the sponge, Vicky.
02:52Rova, come here, boy.
02:53Rova, Rova.
02:56No, no, don't, don't, don't swallow the sponge.
02:59Don't swallow the sponge.
03:00Rova, come here, boy.
03:02Come here, boy.
03:03Rova.
03:04Rova.
03:04We're having a fight now.
03:05We're going.
03:07I told you I'd faint.
03:09I told you I'd let you down.
03:10I told you I'd faint.
03:11What was it?
03:11Boy or girl?
03:12Neither.
03:13What?
03:15No, you were having a dream.
03:17You were having another nightmare.
03:18Oh, was I?
03:19Yes, that's three nights running.
03:21I don't think I can stand it much longer.
03:23I should be glad when the baby's born
03:24and that we can all get a good night's sleep.
03:26It's all coming back to me.
03:28I joke we had a boy.
03:30Yes, I know.
03:31Called Rova.
03:31I heard you call him.
03:34It was dreadful.
03:35He looked like your father.
03:38That's not so dreadful.
03:40No, I mean what he was wearing.
03:42He was carrying a briefcase, a bowler hat
03:43and a pinstripe jacket and a nappy.
03:45What an extraordinary dream.
03:47And then the doctor came in.
03:49Guess who the doctor was?
03:50I don't know, darling.
03:51It was your dream.
03:52Albert.
03:54Oh, Albert.
03:55Yes, Albert Riddle.
03:57I don't go back to sleep while Albert's about it.
03:59He was carrying a scalpel.
04:01Robin, listen.
04:02All this is quite normal.
04:04It says in my book that dreaming can occur often during pregnancy.
04:08Yes, but I'm not pregnant.
04:10Well, you're eating for two.
04:11I'm dreaming for two.
04:12Well, you see, it's nature's way of dealing with your conscious and your subconscious anxieties.
04:18You see, you're very worried.
04:20You've been worried about the baby.
04:22You're worried about trying to find a house for us.
04:24Yes, you're going through a very difficult time, Robin.
04:28You must try and relax.
04:31Thank you, Vicky.
04:32You're a tower of strength.
04:34I don't know how I'd get through this without you.
04:44Full stop.
04:49Hello in there, Robin's nest.
04:53Hello, Milo.
04:55No, no news yet.
04:57Oh, she's fine, blooming.
04:59Huh?
05:00Oh, no, you're not too late.
05:03You'd like to put a couple of quid on a girl.
05:05Yeah.
05:08And you reckon the weight will be seven pounds, two ounces.
05:11Right, I'll put that in the book right away.
05:16Morning, Albert.
05:17Oh, morning, Mrs. Stripper.
05:19How are you feeling?
05:21Big.
05:21Oh, well, that'll be because of the baby, do you see?
05:24Yes, I think you're probably right, Albert.
05:27And, uh, how is Mr. Tripp today?
05:30Well, he had a better night last night, but he's still not sleeping well.
05:34Hmm.
05:34That's the strain, I suppose.
05:36Still, won't be long now.
05:38Oh, well, let's hope not.
05:40Any news?
05:41Yes.
05:42Mr. Tripp spent a more peaceful night.
05:47But he's still finding it difficult to sleep.
05:50Not him, Riddle.
05:51I mean, is there any news about my grandchild?
05:53Well, I'll give you three guesses.
05:55Oh, darling, that's a week overdue.
05:58Can't that husband of yours do anything right.
06:01Dad, don't be silly.
06:02This baby's going to be just like him.
06:04What do you mean?
06:04Always late.
06:06I wasn't too late to hear that last remark.
06:09Have a cup of coffee, darling.
06:10Oh, thank you, Victoria.
06:11I think she meant this, darling.
06:12Darling.
06:13Yes, darling, I love a cup of coffee, darling.
06:14Oh, you two are edgy.
06:16You'd better both have a cup.
06:17Well, it's all this waiting.
06:18I can't take the strain.
06:19For once, I agree with him.
06:21Ah, it's a great strain, isn't it, my boy,
06:22waiting for your first grandchild?
06:24I don't know.
06:24I'm not waiting for my first grandchild.
06:26You know what I mean.
06:27Well, of course I know what you mean.
06:28Well, what about me?
06:29I'm the one that has to stagger around like an elephant.
06:32Oh!
06:34I must remember to take my library book back for you.
06:38Vicky, now, please don't do that.
06:39You should get a living daylight out of me.
06:41Well, I'm sorry, but it's overdue.
06:43We know!
06:45I'm talking about the library book.
06:47Oh, is that the mystery thriller you're reading?
06:49Yes, that's right.
06:50I haven't quite...
06:51The one where the vicar did it?
06:52I haven't finished it yet.
06:53Thanks for fun, darling.
06:55Here, how does this sound?
06:56Mr. Albert Riddle, Esquire,
06:59is proud to announce his engagement
07:02to Mrs. Gertrude Pym, Esquire.
07:08Yes, it's very nice, Riddle.
07:10I'm not at all sure you need both Esquires.
07:13Oh, oh, oh.
07:14Well, Mr. Albert Riddle
07:17is proud to announce his engagement
07:19to Mrs. Gertrude Pym, Esquire.
07:23Oh, and there's a P.S.
07:25A P.S.
07:26Even though Mrs. Gertrude Pym, Esquire,
07:30is a missus,
07:31she isn't really a missus,
07:33as Mr. Pym is no more.
07:37I don't think you need that last bit.
07:40Oh, and I don't want people to think
07:41I'm getting married to a married woman.
07:43Well, they won't, will they?
07:45I mean, Gertrude's a widow.
07:46Oh, yeah, you know that,
07:47and I know that,
07:48but how do the people who read this know that
07:50unless there's a P.S.?
07:53In which journal are you intending to insert this announcement?
07:56Pardon?
07:57Which newspaper are you going to put it in?
07:59Oh, I'm not putting it in the paper.
08:00That's far too expensive.
08:02Well, what are you putting it in, Riddle?
08:03In the newsagent's window.
08:06It's five P a week.
08:13Hello, Robin's Nest?
08:15Yes, he is.
08:16Albert, it's for you.
08:17Oh, could you take a message for me, please, Mrs. Tripp?
08:20I'm just in the middle of copying out my announcements.
08:23Uh, hello, can I take a message?
08:25He's engaged at the moment.
08:26No, I'm engaged permanently.
08:27I'm getting married.
08:29Yes, I see.
08:32Albert, that was your friend, Milo.
08:35Oh, yes?
08:36Yes.
08:37His wife saw me shopping in the Fulham Road yesterday.
08:41Oh, yes?
08:42Yes.
08:43She told him I look the size of an elephant.
08:47Oh, yeah?
08:49Yes.
08:50So he'd like to increase his bet to a fiver
08:52and change the weight to ten and a half pounds.
08:55LAUGHTER
09:01Now, let's go over that just once again, shall we?
09:04Just to make sure I've got it right.
09:06One prawn cocktail...
09:08No, no, don't tell me.
09:09I want to make sure I've got it right this time.
09:12Now, two French onion soup...
09:14One French onion soup.
09:15Are you sure?
09:17Yes, my wife was going to have French onion soup,
09:19but now she wants a chef pate.
09:21Oh, yeah, that's right.
09:22She changed her mind, didn't she?
09:24LAUGHTER
09:25One French onion soup,
09:28one pate and two prawn cocktails.
09:31No!
09:32No.
09:33Two pate and one prawn cocktail.
09:36Oh, you want two pates now, do you?
09:39Yes, that's what we asked for.
09:41Oh, dear, don't get airy, 80s.
09:44I'm only doing me job.
09:46She's going to ruin me.
09:48She's driving that poor man crazy.
09:50Oh, no, now she's telling him not to have potatoes
09:52because it's threatening.
09:53Oh, let me do it.
09:55I'll take the orders.
09:55No, you wouldn't squeeze between the tables.
09:58No, look, make it one try.
09:59As much as I think you look absolutely beautiful,
10:01I don't think some of the customers
10:02would relish being served by somebody
10:03who could give birth between the main course
10:05and the pudding.
10:07Where's Albert?
10:08He's down in the cellar getting some potatoes.
10:10Still?
10:10What's he doing, digging them up?
10:12Robin, calm down.
10:17Hello.
10:19I've just stopped and see if there's any news.
10:20Yes, here is the news.
10:21My wife has not given birth yet.
10:23Mr. Albert Riddle has been down in the cellar
10:25for the last half an hour looking for potatoes.
10:27Mrs. Gertrude Pimmers Squire is making right cock up in there
10:30and I'm just by the way nervous breakdown.
10:33Robin, trip news at ten.
10:35Robin's nest.
10:38You can't, Dad.
10:39Look, just tell your father.
10:41He'll be the first to know if there's any news,
10:43but at the moment I'm trying to run a business.
10:45Dad.
10:47It's all right, Miss Lloyd.
10:49I know when I'm not wanted.
10:56Oh, Mr. Tripp,
11:01I was wondering if this was a good time to ask you a favour.
11:04Yes, of course, Albert, anything you want.
11:05What is it?
11:06Well, I very much want to take my fiancée and Mrs. Pym
11:08out for the evening to celebrate our engagement
11:11and I was wondering if you could see a way
11:13to giving us both tomorrow night off.
11:15Look, I'm sorry, Albert, as much as I'd love to,
11:17but with Vicky being out of action...
11:19Hi, kitchen!
11:20One French onion,
11:22one pate,
11:23two corncorp tiles.
11:26Yes, Albert, of course you and Gertrude
11:27could have tomorrow night off with my blessing.
11:30Followed by Wellington beef,
11:32whatever that is,
11:33and darkened orange sauce.
11:50And I realised that my behaviour last night was unforgivable
11:54and, well, I just hope that you'll forgive me.
11:57My boy, the two of us are under great strain.
12:00It's a difficult time for both of us.
12:02It's prenatal tension.
12:05I understand how you're feeling.
12:07Thank you, and I understand how you're feeling.
12:11How are you feeling?
12:13Oh, anxious.
12:16How are you feeling?
12:17Nervous, you know.
12:18Shh.
12:19Are you sleeping any better?
12:23Were you?
12:23Well, occasionally I get a good night,
12:26but I had these terrible nightmares.
12:28Oh, me too, me too.
12:29Do I sympathise with you?
12:30I wake up in the morning,
12:31I've got damp, wet hands,
12:33and I'm so exhausted.
12:36Yes, yes, yes, yes.
12:37I have the same problem.
12:40But I find that a little hot milk
12:43and perhaps an aspirin
12:44just before you get into bed
12:45is a great help, you know.
12:46Really?
12:47Perhaps I should try again.
12:48Would either of you care to know how I'm feeling?
12:52Oh, yes, darling.
12:53How are you feeling?
12:53Fed up!
12:57Well, I suppose all this waiting about
12:59is a great strain for her as well.
13:02Now then, about tonight,
13:04I shall, of course, be delighted to help you out
13:06if Gertrude and Riddle are having the evening off.
13:08Oh, thank you very much, Mr. Nichols.
13:10Not at all, I shall welcome the diversion.
13:12I'll see you this evening.
13:13All right.
13:14And once again, Mr. Gauzer,
13:15I'm very sorry for that little contreton we had.
13:19What contreton?
13:23Hello, Robin's Nest.
13:24Uh, yes, yes.
13:27Table for two.
13:28Mm-hmm.
13:298.30.
13:30Right, and, uh,
13:32if I could just have your name, sir, please.
13:35Mr. Riddle?
13:38Riddle.
13:39Albert.
13:40Albert!
13:41Albert!
13:46And so, bonne femme for madame as well.
13:50And I don't think you'll be disappointed.
13:51The Dover sole is one of my chef's specialties.
13:54Now, sir, have you had any thoughts about the wine?
13:57Well, um, let's see.
13:59Might I perhaps make a suggestion?
14:00Please do.
14:01The Muscadet is excellent.
14:03A modest price, but a most immodest wine.
14:06Yes, we'll have a bottle of the...
14:08The Dover Muscadet?
14:09Yes.
14:09Of course.
14:10Shrewd choice, if I may say so.
14:14Dad's having a wonderful time.
14:16I'm glad you asked him to help.
14:17It makes him feel sort of wanted.
14:20It's a pity Albert and Gertrude aren't here.
14:22They could do with taking a few lessons in how to cope with customers.
14:24Ah, yes.
14:26All right.
14:27Ladies, madame and your sir.
14:36What are you doing here, Riddle?
14:38Yeah, we come for some grub.
14:42For dinner, Albert.
14:43No, I'm sorry, my precious.
14:45Yes, for dinner.
14:46I'm sorry, but you can't eat here.
14:47Why not?
14:48Should we book the table?
14:50You what?
14:50A table for two, eight, thirty.
14:52The name's Riddle.
14:55I know what your name is.
14:58Wait there.
15:02You're not going to believe this.
15:04Gertrude and Riddle are out there.
15:05Oh, how sweet.
15:07They probably thought we couldn't manage.
15:08No, no, no, darling.
15:09You don't understand.
15:10They say they've come here to eat, to dine.
15:12Oh, dear.
15:13Well, I think we're fully booked.
15:14They allege that they've reserved a table.
15:17They did reserve a table.
15:18What?
15:19And you knew?
15:21Did you know, Robin?
15:22Why didn't you say anything?
15:23I'm not waiting on Albert Riddle.
15:26That's why.
15:28I think it's rather sweet.
15:29They're celebrating their engagement in our restaurant.
15:31It's a compliment.
15:32Victoria, I am not waiting at table for Riddle and Gertrude.
15:36Dad, I'm sorry, but you'll have to.
15:38What?
15:38You're all the staff we've got tonight.
15:40I certainly can't.
15:42Oh, come on, Dad.
15:44It's a compliment.
15:45They're celebrating their engagement.
15:47It's a compliment.
15:56Everything all right, madam?
15:57Sir?
15:58Good, good.
16:01All right, come on.
16:02Sit down.
16:06Now then, Mr. Nichols, you naughty boy.
16:10I see I'll have to teach you something about this job.
16:15You're supposed to say I'll show you to your table.
16:21Still, we'll make excuses for you.
16:25After all, you're not used to it like me and Albert.
16:34Now they're complaining that the soup is too salty.
16:37Maybe for them it is.
16:39This is absolutely intolerable.
16:41Riddle and Gertrude eating here.
16:42The management reserves the right to refuse admission.
16:45We should have refused them admission.
16:46They're customers like anyone else.
16:48They are not customers like anyone else.
16:50They are Gertrude and Riddle.
16:52They shouldn't be allowed in there.
16:53Why does not?
16:55Well, if you can't see it, darling,
16:56because it is degrading for me to be serving my own daily health.
17:00It's upsetting the whole balance of power.
17:05What rot?
17:06It is not rot.
17:07She is my char and he is our washer-upper.
17:10And they shouldn't be in there.
17:11Eating with our customers.
17:13It's unnatural.
17:16It's unhealthy.
17:19You're a prig and a slob.
17:21Now, take their main courses in before they get cold.
17:34Waiter!
17:40Yes?
17:41Could I have a glass of water, please?
17:44You would like a glass of water.
17:46Yes.
17:47Fine.
17:48Oh, waiter.
17:52Yes?
17:54Could I have a glass of water, too, please?
17:56You would like two glasses of water.
17:58No, just one.
18:01My fiancée will drink the other.
18:05Oh, and waiter.
18:06Waiter.
18:08Now, what do you want?
18:09These potatoes are bad.
18:11What?
18:11These potatoes aren't good.
18:13Riddle, don't be absurd.
18:15There's nothing wrong with those potatoes.
18:18I'm Irish.
18:21Really?
18:23And I know about potatoes.
18:26And these potatoes are no good, waiter.
18:30Will you stop calling me a waiter?
18:33Why?
18:33You are the waiter.
18:35Shut up and get on with your dinner.
18:36Mr. Nichols, don't you dare talk to my fiancée like that.
18:39I demand to see the manager.
18:41Now, Albert, Mr. Nichols is a bit overworked.
18:45Of course, they are short of stuff.
18:47That's not my fault.
18:48Oh, yes, it is.
18:49If you two hadn't taken the evening off, I wouldn't be here.
18:52Oh, my God.
18:53Dad and Albert are having a row.
18:55What?
18:56I demand to see the manager.
18:59Be quiet, Riddle, and finish your dinner.
19:01I won't eat them potatoes.
19:03What's all this fuss about?
19:04He's completely about the potatoes.
19:05I demand to see the manager.
19:10Now, Albert, what seems to be the problem?
19:14Are you the manager?
19:17You know very well I'm the manager.
19:19Now, what is wrong?
19:20He doesn't like the potatoes.
19:22All right, all right, Mr. Nichols.
19:23I'll deal with this.
19:25Now, what is the problem, Albert?
19:28I don't like the potatoes.
19:30What's wrong with the potatoes?
19:31Well, they're not properly peeled and they're full of boys.
19:34Well, that's not my fault.
19:35You peel them.
19:36There's no use of blame at this time.
19:38You're the manager.
19:39I don't believe it.
19:39Will you calm him down, please?
19:41Isn't he masterful?
19:43What are you going to do?
19:44The gazes.
19:45This is a nightmare.
19:46I couldn't agree with you more.
19:47Excuse me, Robin.
19:48Could I have a word with you?
19:49Not at the moment, please, Vicky.
19:50Oh, well, it is rather important.
19:52Now, Vicky, can't you see I'm in the middle of a crisis?
19:54Now, please.
19:55Now, Albert.
19:55All right.
19:56I'll just have to drive myself to the hospital.
19:58Yes, very well.
20:00What is the problem?
20:01What?
20:03Coming?
20:04Oh, my God.
20:34I can't stand this.
20:35I can't stand it.
20:37How much longer is it going to take to deliver this baby?
20:40Oh, there, there, Mr. Nichols.
20:42Don't upset yourself.
20:44Ah, yes, Mr. Nichols.
20:45It takes a long time to deliver Anton these days.
20:49I had to wait three weeks for a sofa.
20:54Mind you, as I always say, if it's worth having, it's worth waiting for.
21:00Riddle, we are not talking about a sofa.
21:03We're talking about my first grandchild.
21:05That's right, Mr. Nichols, and I know just how you feel.
21:09It was my first sofa.
21:14Of course, my precious.
21:20Oh, my goodness.
21:45It's over.
21:48Well, what is it, a boy or a girl?
21:51Yes.
21:55It's a boy and a girl, it's twins.
22:01Not too fast, darling. You must take it gently.
22:04Oh, I'm all right, Dad, honestly.
22:05No, no, you listen to your father.
22:07You think through a great ordeal.
22:09Well, we both have.
22:11Oh, darling, two grandchildren in one go.
22:14I can't believe it.
22:15Neither can I.
22:16Neither can I.
22:17What are you going to call me?
22:20Albert and Gertrude.
22:27Aren't they all beautiful?
22:29Beautiful.
22:31I wonder which two of them are mine.
22:33I mean hers.
22:35Well, the nurse is going to pick them up and show you.
22:37Here she comes now.
22:39She's going to show you our little boy first.
22:42Huh?
22:42How can you tell?
22:44Really, Mr. Niggles, can't you tell the difference yet between little boys and little girls?
22:48Boys are in the blue cots.
22:51Look, Dad, you're going to see your grandson.
22:54Mm-hmm.
23:07That's my boy.
23:08ührer Yeah, that's my boy.
23:12I'm a bitch.
23:26All right.
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