- 14 hours ago
First broadcast 15th January 1980.
Robin gets a shock when Vicky waddles in with an enormous baby bump.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Tessa Wyatt - Vicky
Tony Britton - James Nicholls
David Kelly - Albert
Peggy Aitchison - Gertrude
George Layton - Vernon Potter
Bob Goody - Customer (as Robert Goody)
Robin gets a shock when Vicky waddles in with an enormous baby bump.
Richard O'Sullivan - Robin
Tessa Wyatt - Vicky
Tony Britton - James Nicholls
David Kelly - Albert
Peggy Aitchison - Gertrude
George Layton - Vernon Potter
Bob Goody - Customer (as Robert Goody)
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00I don't know.
00:43Oh, hello, hello, you, sorry, sorry, Gertrude, you have a house, you have a house advertised
00:51in the evening, it's already gone, yeah, I see, okay, thanks a lot, oh, this is impossible,
00:59poor Gertrude, we're never going to find a house, you and Mrs Tripp are only young, you've
01:03got plenty of time, we've got less than seven months, we've got to find a house before the
01:08baby's born, Robin, what do you think of this, in here, Mrs Tripp, my gosh, Mrs Tripp, oh,
01:17don't be silly, look, it's only a cushion, I wanted to see what the dress would look like,
01:23oh, Vicky, don't do that, do you like it, yes, it's a bonnie bouncing cushion, I think you
01:29look lovely, Mrs T, I haven't bought it, but the shop let me bring two home on Apra, so
01:34Robin could help me choose, what do you think, darling, how much, do you like it, Robin, well,
01:42it's 15 pounds, if you want to know, that means 20, 21, actually, you see, you see how well
01:49I know my wife, well, I tell you what, if it includes the cushion, I think you've got yourself
01:52a bargain there, the other one's red, it's a bit cheaper, do you know, I love red, I thought
01:57you might, I'll go and try it on, oh, she's so excited, isn't she, she can't wait to wear
02:04maternity dresses, can she, no, neither can I, what, what I mean is, I can't wait to see
02:11Vicky wearing maternity dresses, ah, she looks smashing, I tell you what, if she looks that
02:15good with a cushion, just imagine what she's going to look like with a real thing, oh, Mr Tripp,
02:20do you want a boy or a girl, yes, that would be fine, oh, Mr Tripp, all right, let's hope
02:27you have more luck with this estate agent, well, that's right, Mr Tripp, if of course
02:32you don't succeed, try, ah, hello, hello, yes, I believe you have a house advertised in the,
02:38it has already, I thank you very much, goodbye, give me luck, what are we going to do, Gertrude,
02:44listen to me, Mr Tripp, when my late husband and I first married, do you know where we lived,
02:51in two rooms above a shop, well, that's where Vicky and I live, well, that was our first home,
02:58Mr Tripp, and shall I tell you something, what, I'll never forget those early years, really,
03:04no, it was the most miserable time of my life, well, I'm just popping down to the shop,
03:13all right, good afternoon, Gertrude, hello, Mr Nichols, afternoon Tripp, uh, Victoria,
03:19about, I'll go for it, ah, Vicky, granddad's here, you know, that joke is wearing a little thin,
03:30I am not yet a granddad, and when I do become a granddad, I will not be your granddad,
03:35so I would really appreciate it if you would stop calling me granddad, right, right, gramps,
03:42it's not funny, no, all right, no, actually, she won't be long, she's just upstairs trying on a few
03:46maternity dresses, what, already, yes, well, she's getting a little podgy, you know,
03:51no, since it's your imagination, well, you haven't seen her for a couple of days, have you,
03:56won't you think of this, Robbie, ah, Victoria, it's only a cushion, Dad, what, oh, well,
04:05what do you think, oh, darling, you are going to look beautiful, what do you mean, going to,
04:10she is beautiful, well, you know what I mean, shall I have this one, lovely colour, yes,
04:15it matches my bank account, yes, incidentally, how's the house hunting going, don't ask, look,
04:21why don't you let me lend you some money, well, no, no, Robin feels it's his responsibility,
04:27and he doesn't want to be beholden to you, besides, your interest rates are higher than
04:30the bank, well, you'll have to find somewhere pretty soon, or this baby's going to be weaned
04:35on escargot and cock over, never too soon to start them on solids, anyway, I'll keep an eye
04:41out for you, I have some pretty good contacts, oh, by the way, darling, a little something for
04:46you, oh, Dad, honestly, you must stop bringing me presents, well, if I can't spoil my only
04:52daughter, who can I spoil, your only son-in-law, look, Robin, it's a book of first names,
04:58thanks, Dad, there's 2,000 names here, we'll be arguing for the next five years, do you fancy
05:04a drink, oh, no, darling, it's much too early for me, ask me again at about half an hour,
05:09and then I can have a gin with equanimity, why don't you have it with tonic, it'll taste much
05:12nicer, he's an idiot, you know, your husband is an idiot, Victoria, well, at least I don't
05:20drink gin with equanimity, excuse me, Batman, excuse me, Batman, I wonder if I can have large
05:25gin and equanimity, not too much equanimity, I don't want to drown the gin, he is an idiot,
05:36I bet he doesn't even know what equanimity means, oh, of course he does, my husband may be an idiot,
05:41but he's not ignorant, thank you, I don't know whether that's a compliment or an insult,
05:47all right, then, what is equanimity, oh, equanimity, is something that you have with gin,
05:58oh, look at, look, fancy being loved with some of these names, look at this one, Ethelbert,
06:03hmm, Ethelbert, Tripp, or, hang on a minute, here you are, Peregrine, let me know,
06:10Pogue and Tripp, come on, some of these names, you know, I've always felt that James was rather
06:15a splendid name, James has been in the Nicholls family for generations, handed down from father
06:21to son, yes, it could hardly be handed down from father to daughter, quite, had Victoria been
06:26a boy, she would have been called James, gives a kiss, Jim, it's a good, strong name, James,
06:35all right, dad, all right, we get the hint, all right, hang on, here, wait a minute, there we are,
06:42James, James, from St. James, son of Zebedee,
06:50your father's related to Zebedee, no wonder he likes magic roundabout,
06:55well, I think I'd better go, darling, all right, bye-bye, dad, bye, darling, bye, Zebedee,
07:08Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing,
07:27Robin, you shouldn't tease him like that, well, oh, Grandpa, he doesn't mind it too much,
07:32actually, this is quite an interesting book, this, hello, Robin's vest, it's Albert,
07:37has he reversed the charges again, yes, do you know, it'd be cheaper to keep him on the payroll,
07:41yes, we'll accept the call, thank God, he went to live in Watford instead of,
07:45instead of Dublin, it brings up the Chatterpole Gertrude, you know, hello, Albert, hello in there,
07:51this is me out here, is that you, yes, yes, how are you, oh, I'm fine, fine, Mr. Tripp,
07:59and how's your good lady? Uh, no, um, Albert, this is me speaking, it's Vicky, um, Robin,
08:07you talk to him. Hello, Albert, how are you? Oh, I'm fine, fine, Mrs. Tripp, how's yourself?
08:14Listen, I'm sorry I didn't recognise your voice just now, but now you're coming through loud and clear.
08:21No, Albert, it's me. I know it's you, Mrs. Tripp, she had just told me. How's Mr. Tripp?
08:28No, this is what, he thinks he's talking to you. Hang on a minute, Albert, Robin wants to speak to
08:34you.
08:34Bye-bye, Mrs. Tripp. Hello, Albert, it's Robin here.
08:39Ah, hello in there, Mr. Tripp, it's nice to talk to you, and can I speak to Gertrude?
08:45God, he doesn't want to talk to you, he just wants to speak to Gertrude. Uh, Albert?
08:49Hello, Gertrude, my dear. Oh, it's lovely to talk to you again.
08:57Albert, it's me. Huh? Hey, can you put Gertrude back on again?
09:01But she's not here, Albert, it's me, Robin.
09:04But sure, I was just talking to her.
09:05No, that was me. Gertrude's...
09:08Would you talk to him?
09:09No, he'll think I'm Gertrude. Tell him about the baby.
09:12Oh, yeah. Albert, Vicky's going to have a baby.
09:16That's a good idea. When will Gertrude be coming back?
09:20It's really interesting. He just wants to know when Gertrude's coming back.
09:23In about half an hour, Albert.
09:25I'll ring back.
09:26Yeah, you do that. He's going to ring back.
09:28Do you know, this courtship's costing me a fortune.
09:31Ask him a baby.
09:32Oh, all right. Oh, Albert, how's the cafe going?
09:35Ah, well, now, that's what I wanted to talk to Gertrude about.
09:38I need some cookery advice.
09:41Well, uh, you know, I'm quite good at cooking, Albert.
09:45Oh, yes.
09:47Amazing. He's ringing up Gertrude for cookery tips.
09:50Look, what do you want to cook, Albert?
09:53Egg on toast.
09:56Well, that's quite simple, Albert.
09:59First, you put the bread under the grill.
10:02Oh, no, no, no. I've got a pop-up toaster.
10:05Oh, even better. He's got a pop-up toaster.
10:07More than we have.
10:08Quite. So, uh, what's the problem, Albert?
10:11Well, every time the toast pops up, it leaves the egg behind.
10:20Uh, yes.
10:21Well, Albert, I think we'd better leave that one, too, Gertrude.
10:25Yes. Goodbye.
10:26What was he doing wrong?
10:27If I told you, you'd never believe me.
10:31And the vicar said,
10:34No, not while I'm stoking the boiler.
10:37Ha, ha, ha.
10:39Totally funny, don't you think?
10:42Roddy told me that one.
10:44Roddy tells it awfully well.
10:47No, not while I'm stoking the boiler.
10:51Ha, ha, ha.
10:55Why don't they go home?
10:57It's only 25 to 2, and he's sitting there telling crummy jokes.
11:00I thought it was quite funny.
11:01Oh, really?
11:02You ought to tell Roddy tell it.
11:04Roddy tells it awfully well.
11:06Ha, ha, ha.
11:09Robin, I'll hear you.
11:11I don't care.
11:11I've got to get up at the crack of dawn in the morning,
11:13charge around all the estate agents to try and find us a house.
11:16Look, something will turn up, darling.
11:18Yes, the patter of tiny little feet in about seven months' time.
11:20If we don't find a house, we'll have nowhere to patter.
11:23Now, for God's sake, give him the bill.
11:25Robin!
11:26So I said to Roddy,
11:28we might just motor down to Beeritz
11:30and spend a day or three there.
11:33Oh, no way.
11:34Thank you, sir.
11:35I hope you enjoyed your meal.
11:37Oh, I'm pretty average.
11:39I say, you,
11:41you might wait until after we've gone
11:42before you start stacking the furniture.
11:47Can I say anything?
11:48Vicky, it's nearly quarter to two.
11:50The customer is always right.
11:52I say.
11:54Yes, sir.
11:56Ah, thank you very much.
11:58Oh, um, just a minute.
12:01Can we have our coats?
12:0512p.
12:06Get your own rotten coat.
12:26Ah, hello.
12:28Um, yes, you have a house advertised in the evening.
12:31Um, yeah.
12:32It's, um, attractive, three bedrooms,
12:34fully modernised, farmhouse kitchen,
12:36large garden, 22,000 pounds freehold.
12:39I suppose it's already...
12:41What?
12:42It hasn't.
12:42Well, look, hang on to it.
12:43I'm coming right round.
12:44Come on.
12:48Hello?
12:52Shop?
12:53Won't be a minute.
12:57Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.
13:00Oh, no.
13:03Robin Tripp.
13:04What a lovely surprise.
13:05Do you know, I haven't seen you since, um, since, uh...
13:09Since you borrowed 50 quid off me.
13:11Didn't you get my cheque?
13:12No, it must probably bounce all the way back to you.
13:15Robin, don't be like that.
13:17Let me pay you right away.
13:18Am I hearing things?
13:19Vernon Potter paying a debt.
13:20Robin, Robin, you're not being very nice.
13:23I'm sorry.
13:24Ah, silly me.
13:26My girl's taking all the money.
13:28Today's our banking day.
13:29Oh, what a shame.
13:31What girl is this not the same scrubber you've shacked up with in my flat?
13:35Robin, please.
13:36This girl's a different class of scrubber altogether.
13:38Comes from Croydon.
13:41What are you doing here anyway?
13:42Ah, well, stroke of luck.
13:43This business belongs to my uncle.
13:45And he's gone a bit gaga, you see.
13:47And he runs in the family, doesn't he?
13:48Yeah, and, well, I'm looking after him.
13:50He's gone for a while, and if I make a go of it, well, you never know.
13:53Now then, sir, what can I do you for?
13:57Split up, have you?
13:58Looking for a bachelor pad?
14:00Split up.
14:01Good, good.
14:01How is Betty?
14:02Vicky.
14:03Oh, Vicky, Vicky.
14:04Vicky, how is she?
14:05Oh, she's fine.
14:06She's pregnant.
14:07Oh, terrific.
14:08Well done, here.
14:09Give her my love, will you?
14:10Ah, I don't think so, Vernon.
14:11It's not a good idea to upset them when they're pregnant.
14:14Now, look, we're looking for a house.
14:16And you couldn't have come to a better place.
14:17Believe me, Robin, this is your lucky day.
14:20Stop all the sales chat and just listen, okay?
14:22Yes, yes, of course.
14:23A customer is always right.
14:24Shut up, will you?
14:27Now, you have a house advertised here.
14:31Yes, attractive.
14:31Three bedrooms, fully modernised.
14:33Farmhouse kitchen, £22,000 freehold.
14:36Just come on the market.
14:37I've put the ad in myself.
14:38Beautiful house.
14:39Oh, that's great.
14:40Where is it?
14:40Cornwall.
14:43Cornwall?
14:44Yes, Cornwall.
14:45Do you know Cornwall?
14:46Oh, beautiful part of the country.
14:48Vernon, I don't want a house in Cornwall.
14:50Fair enough.
14:51Each to his own.
14:51Where would you like a house?
14:53Vernon, what I'm trying to say to you is, you see, you are giving the impression in this
14:57advert that the house is in London.
14:59Really?
15:00But let me see.
15:02Oh, look.
15:03That safe, sweet bedroom, fully modernised.
15:06Well, forgive me, Robin, forgive me.
15:08But unless my eyes deceive me, I don't see any mention of London in this advert.
15:13But it doesn't say the house is in Cornwall.
15:15It doesn't say it's in London.
15:16Oh, but this is a London paper.
15:20Robin, Robin, Robin.
15:22This ad is my loss leader.
15:26What do you mean, your loss leader?
15:27My loss leader.
15:29Like in a supermarket, when they sell sugar or bread at a loss to get people in there.
15:33That's how I get people in here, with this ad.
15:36You're an idiot.
15:37Well, you're here.
15:39Goodbye, Robin.
15:41Robin, Robin, Robin.
15:42I have got a house that might interest you.
15:44It's where?
15:44The Outer Hebrides?
15:45Look, Robin, seriously, this house is a bargain.
15:48It needs a bit of work on it, of course.
15:49Yeah, I can imagine.
15:50Robin, Robin, I know this house well.
15:52It's a snip.
15:54Just trust me.
16:00He's got a lovely singing voice, Albert.
16:03Don't you think so?
16:05Oh, yes, lovely.
16:07Bit like Nelson Eddy.
16:10Only Irish.
16:13When have you ever heard Albert sing?
16:16He sang to me over the phone the other day.
16:20Oh, how romantic.
16:21Yes, it was.
16:23He sang Happy Birthday to me.
16:26Oh, Gertrude, I didn't know it was your birthday.
16:28Oh, it wasn't.
16:30But it's the only song he knows all the words.
16:35Vicky, Vicky, Vicky, Vicky.
16:38I've just found the most terrific house.
16:40You've got to come and see it.
16:41It's really big.
16:42But I can't.
16:43I've got some buns in the oven.
16:44Only one, I hope.
16:45It's not that big.
16:46I'm right in the middle of baking.
16:47Oh, leave that to me.
16:49It's got great potential.
16:50You mean it's a wreck?
16:51No, no, it's a bit more than we can afford,
16:53but I've offered the full asking price.
16:54What?
16:54Before I've even seen it?
16:55Yeah, well, you've got to get in there quick.
16:56I mean, the estate agent's waiting to hear from somebody else.
16:58So come on, eh?
16:59Oh, where is it?
17:00It's in Windmill Road.
17:01Oh, that's a nice road.
17:02You'll never guess who the estate agent is.
17:04Who?
17:04Vernon Potter.
17:05What?
17:06That sly, sponging, creepy lairabout.
17:08Oh, you remember him?
17:09I don't want anything to do with it.
17:11Oh, come on.
17:12He's doing us a favour.
17:13He'd get far more for the house.
17:15Don't trust him.
17:15He's a swine.
17:17Hello, Robin's nest.
17:18Vicky, just come and see it.
17:20It's a snip.
17:20Oh, I can just hear Vernon Potter saying that.
17:23Mr. Tribb, it's for you.
17:24Say I'm not here.
17:26He says he's not here.
17:30It's a Mr. Potter.
17:32He says he's urgent.
17:33All right, all right.
17:34Yes, Vernon?
17:35Robin, a slight little hitch has just come up.
17:39Yeah, well, you know I said I was waiting to hear from somebody else who'd seen the house
17:43before you.
17:44Well, I've just heard.
17:46Yes, I know you offered the full asking price, but this chap's just offering a little bit
17:51more.
17:52Well, I was just wondering if you'd care to match this other chap's offer.
17:57Another 500 quid?
17:58No, Robin.
18:00No, Vernon, I'm sorry.
18:01Listen, I offered the full asking price, and you accepted it in good faith.
18:05Now, you're gazumping me.
18:06Gazumping?
18:07No.
18:07No, no.
18:08Gazumping?
18:09That's just a word that's bandied around these days.
18:11I'm merely asking you to match an improved offer.
18:16Well, you have a think about it, Robin, and give me a buzz back, okay?
18:20Oh, love to Nicky.
18:23They'll be back.
18:24Nothing like a Dutch auction to improve the commission.
18:27Where would you like to go tonight?
18:31Never mind, Mr. Tripp.
18:32Something else will turn up.
18:34No, it's the principle of the thing, Gertrude.
18:37I offered the full asking price, and he accepted it in good faith.
18:40Good faith?
18:41Vernon Potter wouldn't know the meaning of the word.
18:43All right, don't rub it in.
18:44He's a snake in the grass.
18:46No time to pay him compliments.
18:48I might not have liked the house anyway.
18:50Oh, you would.
18:51Four bedrooms, fitted kitchen, good-sized garden, utility room.
18:55Oh, stop it, Robin.
18:56You're going to make me cry.
18:58Good afternoon to you all.
19:00Oh, hello, Dad.
19:01Come sit down and cheer us up.
19:03Why?
19:03What's the matter?
19:04Well, Robin found this super house, and we offered the full money.
19:07Which was more than we could afford.
19:09And now we've been gazumped after the offer was accepted.
19:11Do you know, moral standards today in this country are dropping.
19:14Hmm, pity house prices, aren't they?
19:16You know, you just can't trust anyone anymore in this world.
19:18Well, never mind.
19:19It may just turn out to be a blessing in disguise.
19:21That's what I said, Mr. Nichols.
19:23Something else will turn up.
19:25Gertrude, it has.
19:26Oh, what?
19:27I have just seen the most perfect house.
19:31Now, I do hope you don't think I'm interfering.
19:32You did ask me to keep a lookout.
19:33No, no, no.
19:34Go on, go on, go on.
19:34Well, I have found this absolutely perfect house for you,
19:37and it is just about within your price range.
19:40Oh, you see, Robin.
19:41Didn't I tell you something else would turn up?
19:44Yeah, but it's most probably gone by now.
19:46I do have some experience in these matters,
19:48and I've already put down a deposit.
19:50Oh, Dad, let's go and see it.
19:52Well, mind you, somebody else had put in an offer,
19:55and it meant that I'm afraid I had to raise the ante slightly.
19:58Never mind, never mind.
19:59Do you know, the same thing's just happened to me,
20:01so it's dog-eat-dog in this world.
20:03What's it like?
20:04Oh, darling, it's very nice.
20:06It's got four bedrooms and a fitted kitchen.
20:09Sounds lovely.
20:09Not a bad-sized garden.
20:11Utility room?
20:12Sounds great.
20:13Ah, two reception rooms on the ground floor.
20:15God, where is it?
20:17Windmill Road.
20:18Windmill, isn't that a coincidence?
20:20Because that's the...
20:22Which number, Windmill Road?
20:2437.
20:26You berk.
20:27You've just gazumped me.
20:29How dare you call my father a berk?
20:30How dare you call me a berk?
20:32He is a berk.
20:33He's just gazumped me.
20:34He didn't know.
20:34I didn't know.
20:35He was trying to help.
20:36I was trying to help.
20:37Mr. Trigg, don't shout at Gertrude.
20:39I'm sorry.
20:41Yes.
20:42What's a gazump?
20:44Ask him.
20:47You don't believe it.
20:48What?
20:48That the person that gazumped us was Vicky's father?
20:51Yes, the things that some people do to their own family.
20:53Why, he didn't know.
20:55Anyway, you shouldn't have accepted a higher offer when you had already accepted Robbins.
20:59You were just being greedy.
21:00Vicky, Vicky, Vicky.
21:01In any case, I shall withdraw my offer.
21:03And presumably, my daughter will now be able to buy the house at the original asking.
21:06Yes, of course, yes.
21:07And you're not going to offer it to anyone else?
21:09Robbins.
21:10Trust me.
21:11I think I've heard that before.
21:13Well, Vicky, what do you think?
21:15Great.
21:15Look at the size of this cupboard.
21:17Oh, that's the fourth bedroom.
21:20Oh, well, we'll use it as a cupboard.
21:22We only need three bedrooms anyway.
21:23I think for the money, it's terrific.
21:25Oh, marvellous value.
21:26I can't understand why it's so reasonable.
21:28That's because of the sitting tenant.
21:29Oh, I see.
21:32What did you say?
21:33I said that's because of the sitting tenant.
21:36What sitting tenant?
21:38Didn't I mention that there was a sitting tenant?
21:41No.
21:42Nothing to worry about.
21:44Built-in babysitter.
21:45That's why the house is going so cheap.
21:47Well, actually, he could be right there.
21:48You know, a nice little old lady as a babysitter could be a blessing in disguise.
21:52Is it a nice little old lady, Vernon?
21:54Not quite.
21:55But he's very nice.
21:58He?
21:59Who?
22:00Me.
22:02You.
22:04Vernon?
22:05No, no, no.
22:06Vicky?
22:06Vicky.
22:07Thank you, Robin.
22:08That's all right.
22:08Me first.
22:09I'll hold it.
22:20We're like a big box of us.
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