Lonely Spending | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 09)
Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series
Wednesday | January 28th, 2026
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Song of The Day: "I Get Lonely" by Janet Jackson
Released 1997 | Velvet Rope
Burning Questions for Reflections!
What are you trying to replace with purchases that were never meant to carry emotional weight?
Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com
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DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.
411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines
DISC 6: Vitality
Track 09: Easy Money Is Loud
©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network
LerinGaines.com
Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series
Wednesday | January 28th, 2026
Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES
https://leringaines.com
https://linktr.ee/leringaines
https://www.facebook.com/leringaines
http://instagram.com/leringaines
https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines
http://twitter.com/leringaines
https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines
https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines
https://dlive.tv/LerinGaines
https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines
Song of The Day: "I Get Lonely" by Janet Jackson
Released 1997 | Velvet Rope
Burning Questions for Reflections!
What are you trying to replace with purchases that were never meant to carry emotional weight?
Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com
DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLIVE, Twitch, DailyMotion)
Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!
Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com
#Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #DLIVE #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality
DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.
411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines
DISC 6: Vitality
Track 09: Easy Money Is Loud
©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network
LerinGaines.com
Category
️👩💻️
WebcamTranscript
03:59Welcome on in.
04:01Welcome to Reading Between the Wines.
04:03We are here for another great Wine Down Wednesday.
04:09Let's get into it.
04:12Lonely spending.
04:14Track nine, Lonely Spending.
04:16But before we get into this, I want to go ahead and give a very special thank you to my executive producer.
04:25I want to thank God for giving me another opportunity to come out here and podcast and give you this great Reading Between the Wines show.
04:34I also want to thank you all so much for tuning in.
04:44So I want to say good morning to everybody out there, so I want to say good morning to everybody out there who checks, you know, checks us out morning.
04:51So definitely please like, comment, share, subscribe, tag a friend, text a friend.
04:58Let everybody know about our new time, and of course, continue to use your virtual voice, anything that you feel about the show, please put it in the comments.
05:09Let me know where you are calling from, where you're representing, all of that great stuff.
05:15Shout out to people out there on Facebook.
05:16Thank you all so much.
05:18Daily Motion.
05:19We have Spotify, Twitch, so many different ones.
05:30I can't even name them right off the bat, but so much love coming from different places.
05:35Of course, YouTube, I appreciate that.
05:39But yeah, the response has been good, and I want to say thank you all so much.
05:44This is a new show, new year, new space, so continue to help support the movement, and yeah, let's get into it.
05:55Song of the Day, I Get Lonely by Janet Jackson.
06:02Off of one of my favorite, favorite, favorite albums of hers.
06:06Absolute favorite, Velvet Rope, released in 19.
06:10So tonight, we're going to speak about what happens when people get lonely, impulse spending, you know, making emotional purchases.
06:23You know, we're speaking about money, of course, but sometimes when we get lonely, I don't know who I'm speaking to.
06:29I'm only speaking from experiences, real life experiences.
06:32We make some decisions, and some of the decisions are not good when it comes to the places that we, and the things that we buy.
06:44So I remember when I used to get lonely, and the outcome was never good.
06:52I either, I don't even, I'm not even going there.
06:57I'm just putting, I'm not even going there.
07:00The outcome afterwards probably wasn't good.
07:04And whether it's a few minutes later, whether it's the next day later, yeah.
07:13So be careful when you get lonely.
07:15I had to get with myself, you know, because everything starts with self.
07:18And I realized instead of running around singing records like this, playing records like I get lonely, I realized that I was never lonely.
07:27And a lot of us, we are not lonely.
07:30We just think that we're lonely.
07:33Sometimes when we are separated, when we are not mixed up and wrapped up and trapped up with, you know, the world out there,
07:43that's a good thing, because you take some opportunity to reflect and look at your life.
07:50Take that time.
07:52Be still.
07:55Song of the day.
07:56I get lonely by Miss Janet Jackson.
07:59Off of the Velvet Rope album.
08:03Released in 1997.
08:06Can't believe my album came out.
08:07Now, tonight, I want to tell you that I am sampling something for all y'all people out there who are getting ready to celebrate this wonderful holiday.
08:23Whatever y'all feel that it's wonderful.
08:28I'm not going to try to say one thing one way or the other about it, but y'all know what's coming up in February.
08:35For certain reasons, I don't celebrate it.
08:38The true reason why I don't celebrate Valentine's, you can reach out to me and I'll definitely let you know.
08:46I'm not going to, you know, do it here on this right now.
08:49But for those of you out there who still celebrate, I have this wine here that maybe y'all can share with the one you love.
08:59It's called Choco Vine.
09:02Pleasantly Sinful.
09:03It's the finest blend of red wine, and it is chocolate and raspberry.
09:09It's 14%.
09:11I have sampled this on the show years ago, so I brought it back for Valentine's Day.
09:17And it's the product of Holland.
09:21So all the way from Holland.
09:23And it says, Choco Vine, pleasantly sinful, silky smooth.
09:32This blend of Dutch chocolate, fine red wine, and raspberry is delicious on its own.
09:37Or complementing a cocktail.
09:41Grape wine with dairy cream, natural and artificial flavors.
09:45And I'm going to go ahead and sample this wine here.
09:52You got to make it really super, super duper cold.
09:59That's the best way to have this.
10:00So there are reasons why I don't celebrate Valentine's Day.
10:06And there's reasons why maybe some of you out there would want to think twice about falling into the traps of Valentine's Day.
10:16Not going to do it here on this platform.
10:18Not tonight.
10:19Maybe another opportunity.
10:20Maybe next week I'll dig into it a little bit deeper.
10:22And it's not always what you think, you know, but we might get into it.
10:30So I want to say cheers.
10:32But for those of you who are celebrating, choose wisely.
10:36That's one of the main reasons.
10:38Choose wisely.
10:39Don't get caught up into the hype of it all.
10:45It's man-made.
10:47It's not real.
10:48Protect your pockets.
10:52Cheers.
10:53Welcome to another episode of Reading Between the Wines.
10:58I'm going to go ahead and sample this and bring in my special guest, author slash poet, Birdman313.
11:09Yes, this definitely does hit the spot.
11:12So let's bring an author slash poet, Birdman313.
11:19What's going on?
11:20How are you?
11:21Oh, man.
11:23How's it going?
11:25It's good.
11:26It's good.
11:26It's good.
11:27It's nice and chilly.
11:30Probably about maybe two degrees or something like that around here lately.
11:35Oh, yeah.
11:37Actually, I went to the park today.
11:39It's 54 degrees.
11:42We went out there.
11:43Man, I took so many pictures and I shot a few videos of the different birds that are out there.
11:53For this park to be so small, it has at least four to five different species of birds.
12:02Wow.
12:03And, yeah.
12:04And I'm trying to catch some of them flying video and flying.
12:09I do get some sometimes.
12:12Not a long video.
12:14It's short.
12:15But, hey, other than that, you know, I took my little walk.
12:18I done stretched my walk out.
12:20And last week was the first time I stretched it out that long.
12:24And I just repeated it today.
12:27And I'm starting to feel better.
12:30That's good.
12:30That's good.
12:32Yeah.
12:32That's real good.
12:33Well, you're at the park.
12:39You're at the beach.
12:40It's 54 degrees.
12:43That's good.
12:44You know, I start my day off at maybe two, three degrees.
12:49I think maybe Friday is going to be negative two.
12:55Yeah.
12:55I have some friends back.
12:57You know, I talked to my family and friends back, you know, like in my hometown or up in Lansing or one of them.
13:05He lives in Eden Rapids, which is just a suburb of Lansing.
13:10And, man, he was talking about, oh, man, my cousin said, hey, cuz, he said, it done warmed up.
13:17He said, it was nine below.
13:19Now it's zero.
13:21Nine.
13:22Wow.
13:23Yeah.
13:23Yeah.
13:24And then another one, my good friend, we've been friends, man, we've been friends for over 60-something years.
13:33Oh, wow.
13:34That's amazing.
13:35Yeah.
13:36And we was talking, and he said, it's cold.
13:40He said, it ain't never been this cold before.
13:43Apparently, this lady I used to go, she used to go to, well, my friend up in Lansing and her, we all went to the same church.
13:50Our parents knew each other, and she sent me a picture of her son, was on his way to work, and he used a car and ranted it to a tree.
14:00He ran across, yeah, he ran across some ice.
14:03Well, yeah.
14:05Yeah, she was like, oh, it is so cold up here.
14:09And, you know, a couple more said, hey, don't you want to come back?
14:13I'm like, no, not at all, not at all.
14:17So, well, but other than that, man, you know, everything, like I said, everything going cool.
14:23That's good.
14:25And you didn't get hit with the four-letter word, did you?
14:27Because I know we did.
14:29No.
14:30Oh, I thought you were supposed to get hit with it, but somebody said that Texas didn't get hit with it.
14:36Well, what they thought we were going to get 17, we probably end up getting anywhere between 8 to 10, which is still a lot.
14:46And then there's some speculation of the four-letter word coming again this weekend.
14:51Yeah, it's supposed to, you know, the highest it got today was 57, actually.
15:00The news reported it just now is 57, but it's starting to drop back down.
15:06And it should get like, it may get like in the 30s tonight or 40s, in the 40s, you know.
15:14So, it's good, man.
15:18It's a good time.
15:19It's a good time.
15:19If you say so.
15:25Yeah, it's good times, man.
15:27All right.
15:28Well, I want to say thank you so much for last week's episode.
15:33I listened to it.
15:34Now that we're on this new format, I actually can sit back and listen to a lot more of the replays.
15:42And, man, that episode was pretty good.
15:46It was pretty good.
15:47Oh, man.
15:47Pretty good.
15:48Appreciate it.
15:48I try to do my best.
15:50You know, I mean, I have to say I'm improving.
15:53You know, I will say that.
15:55Yeah.
15:56Yeah.
15:56Yeah.
15:58It definitely is a thing to see the progression of it all.
16:02So, yeah.
16:04Yeah.
16:06All right.
16:07So, let's get right on into the do's and don'ts of money.
16:12You want to give me a number?
16:15Let's see.
16:16Sure.
16:16Anywhere between three to 167.
16:2150.
16:2250.
16:23All right.
16:23Let's see what we got for 50.
16:2650.
16:30We got a don't.
16:33Miscellaneous loan advice.
16:34Don't take out credit card cash advance.
16:37Don't take out credit card cash advance.
16:37This is hands down one of the most expensive ways to borrow money.
16:42The interest charge on cash advance starts the day you take the money out.
16:46There is no grace period.
16:48Even if you pay it all back when your next credit card bill is due, you still will have to pay the interest.
16:53And the average annual interest rate is 22%.
16:56There will also be a fee for taking out the cash advance.
17:01The minimum fee is $10 and the maximum is typically three to 5% of the loan amount.
17:09If you follow my advice and begin to create an emergency fund that will eventually cover up to eight months of your living costs,
17:18you should never have the need to take out a costly credit card cash advance.
17:23What do you think about credit card cash advances?
17:27Oh, I think I took out one credit card.
17:32That was years ago, but I didn't have all them fees.
17:37I took it out and I was surprised at how much I was only able to take out.
17:43And I'm like, okay, man, it's not worth it.
17:47I might as well just went on in my checking account and withdrew the money, you know, but I don't, I don't advise anybody.
17:57I don't take out loans or credit card advances, however you want to call it.
18:03I come to the point in life where I just have, you know, I just have to do without.
18:09If it's not emergency, if I don't have the cash in my checking account, then I'm just going to have to do without.
18:17And that's just me.
18:19Yeah.
18:20And that's from past experience when I have done it and it always has backfired on me.
18:29And I, you know, I've been blessed where I haven't had to take out any advances like that.
18:38All I do is take out of my checking account when I need something.
18:43Mm-hmm.
18:45Yeah.
18:46I was reckless back in the day when I first turned 18 and got my first credit card.
18:51I was hitting up the cash advances left and right.
18:56Yeah.
18:57Well, you know what?
18:58It's funny you said that because, you know, I'm, I'm older than you and they didn't, they didn't have.
19:05I don't even think they had, well, I didn't, I didn't, I, I wasn't trying to find out.
19:11I was just maxing out cars.
19:12Like I had lost my mind, you know, forgetting about, oh, you got to pay that money back.
19:22You know, there's a, there's an interesting, I have to make sure I got this word right.
19:30Interesting statistic.
19:31That's not right.
19:32I didn't say it right.
19:33Statistic.
19:34There we go.
19:35That once you get out of debt, majority of people go right back in it because they are used to the pattern of being in debt, that it becomes unfamiliar that they end up going right back into debt.
19:50And you know what?
19:51I will believe that because there, for a while I used to say, oh, I feel better when I'm in debt than when I'm out of debt.
20:01That is so bizarre.
20:02I had to make that change and believe it or not, the change, it wasn't easy, but it happened because I didn't have a job for a while.
20:15And then my unemployment ran out.
20:18So, you know, I said, okay.
20:23And then when I got back on my feet and things started going, I'm like, never again.
20:32You know, that is so interesting.
20:38I did it three times.
20:40And this last time I was like, absolutely not, because it took longer.
20:44Like the first time, okay, boom, you got out of debt.
20:48Then I jumped back into it.
20:49The second time it was almost like a bounce back.
20:52But then this last time it was like, yeah, why is it not taken as quick as it did the last two times?
21:02And then I started to think and I started to look at the pattern and I said, oh, okay.
21:07I got it.
21:07The first time it was like, boom, you know, second time took a little bit longer, but still there was that bounce back.
21:14And this last time it wasn't that quick.
21:19And I was like, yeah, I don't know if I, if I do this another time, how long is that?
21:25And I think that the third time by me sitting in it for a period of time, like a couple of years, it was like, okay, yeah, I don't think we should be doing this again.
21:37Well, you know, I, well, mine's was, was kind of self, my dad told me, he said, boy, you're doing wrong.
21:47Well, I'm like, yeah, dad, but we're family.
21:50He said, I don't give a damn.
21:53You're doing wrong.
21:56You know, he said, you're doing wrong.
21:59And you know what, man?
22:02I realized that.
22:04I did.
22:06I finally realized that.
22:08And it seemed like I just kept getting in deeper and deeper and deeper.
22:15And once I had got my divorce, it stopped.
22:20It stopped.
22:22And I knew why.
22:24And then I sit back and I'm like, you know what?
22:27The old man, he didn't say much.
22:29And when he did say stuff, he didn't say much.
22:32He made it short and sweet.
22:35And I learned and I learned.
22:37I'm like, yeah, okay.
22:38I understand now.
22:40Right.
22:41It's interesting how we understand once we get older.
22:44Yeah.
22:44We don't understand in a moment when they talking to us, but.
22:47Right.
22:48Yeah.
22:49Interesting how sometimes our children will do the same thing to us.
22:53Yeah.
22:54Be like, you going to learn.
22:57Yeah.
22:58Yeah.
22:58Yeah.
22:58Yeah.
22:58Yeah.
22:59You're going to learn.
23:00I tell mine all the time.
23:02Hey, man.
23:02Y'all going to learn.
23:05Right.
23:05Right.
23:07All right.
23:08So now, you got a poem for us tonight?
23:11Yeah.
23:12I got one.
23:12I sent it to you.
23:15I got one.
23:17Okay.
23:17All right.
23:17We can get right on into that.
23:19Oh, okay.
23:19Hold up.
23:20Let me, let me pull it up.
23:21Let me.
23:21Oh, I didn't even put you on the spot.
23:24Oh, no, no, no.
23:25I got my, I got my tablet right here.
23:28I can click on it right quickly.
23:30You know, I keep it on.
23:31I keep all my stuff on my tablet.
23:33My tablet is like American Express card.
23:37I don't leave home without it.
23:40I got mine.
23:41Like, you need to be plugged up and charged up and everything else.
23:46My laptop, that's something different.
23:49Yes.
23:49And this piece I wrote, it had a lot to do with my growing up and how it was in my neighborhood about money.
24:01So, I mean, it may, a lot of people may not register this.
24:05That's young, younger.
24:07But as, as an older person, they can understand where I'm really coming from on this.
24:14And it's titled Money, Happiness.
24:19Growing up in a quiet neighborhood, not realizing how happy life had really been.
24:27Money wasn't a thing that was mentioned much.
24:30Most families were happy with less money and didn't stress about it.
24:36At least it never showed.
24:39No one mentioned that the more money you had, you would be happier.
24:43Life in its wisdom taught us that happiness was not a commodity that could be bought.
24:51Looking around, there were already true riches.
24:55Discovering family, friends, generosity, and good health.
25:01This is what we call a measure of wealth.
25:04But in this time of life, money seems more important than happiness.
25:11Either you have it or you don't.
25:13And the outcome can be a tragedy either way.
25:18And believe when it is said that the more money one has, the more problems and negative people come into your life.
25:27Then the question arises, who is the richer of the two?
25:33The person who needs the most or the person who needs the least?
25:39And that's it.
25:40Wow, I thought that this poem was so dope and it was so deep at the same time.
25:47Of course, I hear the notorious B.I.G. in it.
25:53More money, more problems.
25:55But you also said that the more that the negative people will come in to your life, the more money you get.
26:04And that reminds me of the enemy when he comes, because he's not coming unless he can kill, steal, and destroy.
26:12So when the enemy sees that you level up, that's when negative people may come.
26:21But here's the thing, people.
26:22If you're doing your right thing and you're, you know, doing everything that you need to do and you're putting good energy out there in a universe, the enemy can come all he wants because no weapon formed against us shall prosper as long as we're doing our part.
26:42So don't feel like, oh, my goodness, you know, I can't have this or I can't obtain this because, you know, you know, something's going to happen.
26:55Just do your part.
26:56Do your part.
26:58That weapon may form.
27:01They can do whatever they want to do, but it will not prosper.
27:05And the last piece is so amazing.
27:10The one who needs more money.
27:13Say that part again.
27:15Oh, OK.
27:16Let me pull it up right quick.
27:20I can't.
27:21I can't.
27:21You know, she looked at Diana.
27:23She looking at me like, oh, man, I mean, it says the last part is the person who needs the most or the person who needs the least.
27:33Now, for me, what I believe in this part, that line right there is just so amazing because you want it, you want the most or the person who needs it the least because less is more.
27:52That's what I have to say.
27:53I'm going to leave it at that.
27:54Less is more.
27:55When you decide that you don't need all this extra stuff, that's when abundance comes your way.
28:02Right.
28:03And, you know, you know, and see, when I was writing this, I was hearing my parent, my dad, he didn't talk about money.
28:13You couldn't talk about money too much around him unless you was you were saving your money and spending it right.
28:22You talk negative.
28:23He wouldn't he wouldn't even he wouldn't even conversate with you.
28:27And my mom used to always tell me she's because people actually thought I was a rich kid because they say, oh, man, you come to school dressed.
28:40You have this.
28:41You have that.
28:42And it was it was just that.
28:44I mean, I probably mentioned this before.
28:47My mom worked in the cleaners.
28:49So a lot of times my clothes came from people who left clothes at cleaners.
28:55And my mom, you know, she was such a she she was a top presser in our whole city.
29:01All the cleaners wanted her to come and work for.
29:05And my mom would say, hey, this was left.
29:09It's been it's been been there for six months.
29:12Oh, it look like it can fit you.
29:14And, you know, and you would think she bought it straight out the store.
29:18Right.
29:19And I always like I tell people, I mean, man, from the time I was five years old that I can remember, I always had a TV in my bedroom.
29:31And I always had either a portable radio or I had some type of small stereo in my bedroom.
29:39And people always thought I was rich because I would go in the store, get me a bag of chips, something to drink and come out and everybody looking at me.
29:49And so, man, I felt bad.
29:52So I started buying candy, passing it around.
29:56And this one lady, she went and told it was one day she told she said, hey, your son is buying friends.
30:03She said, only reason why they like him is because he's buying candy.
30:07He's sharing with everybody.
30:09My mom's she said, that's just the way he is.
30:11She said, but I'll talk to him.
30:13As soon as I stopped doing that, nobody wanted to talk to me, man.
30:17You know, and that's when I started.
30:21And then that's when my dad said, he said, oh, you're going to learn.
30:24He said, it's going to be the same way with money.
30:26He said, if you go out there and you show a lot of people you got money, he said, they're going to be around.
30:33He said, just as soon as you show them you don't have no money or you don't have nothing to spend on them.
30:41He said, hey, I guarantee you, they ain't going to even want to come around you.
30:47Yeah.
30:48Yeah.
30:48Lil' Kim got a line.
30:50And I noticed 14% is doing its number.
30:55But she got a line in one of her songs that something about along the lines that when the money goes, there goes your friends.
31:07And that's basically it.
31:09Yeah.
31:09Like, everybody's around you.
31:12But when that money goes, there goes the bins.
31:14When that money goes, there goes your friends.
31:17Yeah.
31:17There we go.
31:18Yeah.
31:18I got it.
31:19And my mom used to say, Victor, you are rich.
31:22And, you know, and she said, you got good health.
31:26You got clean clothes.
31:27You got a roof over your head.
31:28You got food in your stomach.
31:30You're rich.
31:31Absolutely.
31:33Yeah.
31:34Yeah.
31:34All right.
31:38So let's get on in tonight's assignment.
31:41And we're going to get on up out of here.
31:44I can't even believe that we halfway through the show already.
31:48It just goes so quick.
31:49Yes.
31:49It's amazing.
31:50Yes.
31:50Yes.
31:51But tonight we're going to all the way from.
31:55We're not going all the way from.
31:57We're going to Mobile, Alabama.
32:01Shout out to Miss SOS.
32:02How you doing?
32:04I know that this is your hometown.
32:07Mr. Christopher says, Laren, most nights my apartment is too quiet.
32:12No kids running around.
32:13No partner asking how my day went.
32:16Just me, the TV, and my phone.
32:18After work, I scroll.
32:19Couples traveling.
32:20Friends celebrating milestones.
32:22People building lives.
32:24That's usually where I start spending.
32:26New sneakers, tech gadgets, subscriptions I barely use.
32:29Things that arrive in boxes and give me something to look forward to for a few hours.
32:36I don't buy because I need anything.
32:37I buy because it makes the night feel shorter.
32:40Because waiting for a delivery feels like someone is coming to see me, even though I know that sounds sad.
32:46I got credit card bills on treat yourself moments that never really treated me well.
32:52I'm successful on paper, stable job, good benefits, no major drama.
32:57But emotionally, I've been drifting.
33:00And my spending has been filling the space where connection should be.
33:04Wine nights help me relax, but sometimes they just remind me how much I've been numbing instead of living.
33:10Wine, how do you stop spending to feel less alone when you don't know how to fix the loneliness itself?
33:17Christopher, what you got for Christopher?
33:21Man, you know what?
33:23He talking about most nights his apartment is too quiet.
33:27No kids running around.
33:30You know what?
33:31I would tell him, man, you ought to be glad.
33:34I was just going to say.
33:36You ought to be glad you don't have kids running around.
33:41It's not as glamorous as you think.
33:44Kids cost money.
33:46Yeah.
33:47And you're talking about somebody asking you how your day was.
33:51I mean, you ought to be thankful you made it through the day.
33:57You know, I mean, that's how I looked at.
34:00He said, just me, the TV, and my phone.
34:03Oh, man, you know, he needs to find a hobby.
34:09Yeah.
34:09That's one of his problems.
34:11And, you know, he's looking for really the wrong thing because he go out there and get with somebody who's going to nag him all the time and have kids by him all the time and then walk out on him.
34:29I mean, he had to pay child support.
34:30He's going to be right back there in that lonely apartment just like he is now.
34:37And to me, when I read this, I'm like, dang, man.
34:41I said, you know, I can say this.
34:45Out of all my years, I have spent at least, I can say almost 15 years where I live by myself.
34:54And I didn't regret it one time.
34:57You said you spent 15 years by yourself?
35:03Yeah.
35:04And I have not regretted it because I could come home.
35:11I could relax.
35:12I could just relax.
35:17And I would listen, like I said, I always had something to do.
35:22I always made sure I had something to do, like maybe listen to music, maybe write, whether it meant anything or not.
35:33But I had, I did them things just to, you know, that was something that I enjoyed doing.
35:40But I know what you mean, because I have not spent most of my life by myself.
35:49I always was sort of like, you know, Chris here, you know, always just like I get lonely, that type of phase, and then end up getting myself into situations.
36:01And then when I get myself into a situation, start to regret it and have all of this stuff going on, have all of the excitement, have people popping up and showing up at my place that I really don't want to be there.
36:15And then now I'm feeling a certain way.
36:17But what I used to do when I was in that situation is think of where he is right now and be like, do you remember when you didn't have all this stuff going on?
36:28If you had, if you had just sat still, if you had just mind your business, if you had not been scrolling and swiping left and swiping right, you wouldn't be in this situation.
36:38But look what you done now.
36:40Yeah.
36:42And he's saying he buying things, even though he don't need it.
36:45I mean, I've never done that.
36:48I was always trying to put stuff.
36:51I'm like, man, instead of buying things just because I feel lonely, that's something I never, ever thought about doing.
37:01You know what piece that is.
37:03Go ahead.
37:03I would always try to save before I spend.
37:08And that was me.
37:09Like I said, there have been times when I said, hey, you know what?
37:13I'll do it out for a while.
37:15And then I'll get it when the time is right.
37:20Well, that's good because most people will spend and then try to save later after everything's gone.
37:26Yeah.
37:29But, you know, I've, you know, it's just, I mean, I've always had kids, you know, I pay child support, you know, and all that.
37:39Been separated so many times, man.
37:42I'm, you know, I was like, dang, man, if I separate again, man, you know, what was going to happen?
37:49But I've always just tried to, like I said, I always try to maintain, like I always tell my son, I found me a hobby to do.
37:58And you have to find something that you like, but you got to stick with it.
38:04And I'm not looking, like I tell people, I'm not looking to make a bunch of money off of my hobbies.
38:12And I just, just do it because it's a joy.
38:17Just like, okay, going to the park, man, that's something I've been doing all my life.
38:22Going to the park sometime, I just go and sit in the park and just sit there and think.
38:31And I, you know, I've had arguments with my, with my exes because they, you know, they think I'm with some female.
38:38I'm like, oh, I'm right at the park.
38:41You know what?
38:42Why don't you follow me and you'll see what I'm doing.
38:49You know, but that was just, that's just me, man.
38:52I've always loved the park and the beach.
38:57And I can sit on the side of the beach and I can sit there and listen to the waves.
39:02And I tell people, I can, I hear the waves speaking to me and people say, man, what's the waves be telling you?
39:08I say, oh, it's just washing away, washing away, you know, all my stress and just let me know things is going to get better.
39:17Yeah.
39:18Yeah.
39:18I know that's right.
39:19Yeah, I have become accustomed to all of that.
39:24Never did that before, but now I get it today.
39:28Uh-huh.
39:30I want to touch base on this part.
39:33This part really just, this is some serious stuff here.
39:37When he says that I don't buy because I need anything.
39:43I buy because it makes the nights feel shorter because waiting for delivery feels like someone is coming to see me.
39:51That's, that's, that's a mess right there.
39:53You buying stuff just so that they could ring the doorbell or drop something off so you can, you know what?
40:00Just invite some friends over.
40:01How about we do that?
40:02Yeah.
40:04You know what?
40:05Well, you know what gets me is I'm like, how come he don't have nobody?
40:11You know, that was, that was my question.
40:14I'm like, hmm, is this something that he's doing because he don't have nobody?
40:19Because I mean, the way he put it up, he said he got a good job and all this and that.
40:23And I'm like, well, if you have all of that and you have all this stuff going on, you can't find nobody.
40:33Go on a date nap.
40:34Hell, man, you know, take your chances on there.
40:36You know, looking at this here, sometimes one thing that I have to say is I'll wrap this thing up here is that, you know,
40:43sometimes when we are just like this scenario here, just like the record, I get lonely to feel that way, start to second guess.
40:55If you get still and you sit with yourself long enough to see.
41:00One thing that I had on, I believe it was this three evolution.
41:08Your rejection is my protection.
41:10Sometimes God is protecting you from things and that's why you are lonely.
41:15That's why you feel lonely.
41:16That's why you don't have those connections.
41:18That's why you, it's hard for you to find somebody because God is protecting you from yourself.
41:26Exactly.
41:27And do he don't, do we have any brothers and sisters or cousins?
41:32And, you know, it's just, it seems like he is like, he has no connection to nothing in the world.
41:45And listen, if, go ahead, go ahead.
41:48If, if, if God wants to block people from coming into your life and it's just not the right time, it's not the right season.
41:56That's exactly what that means.
41:58Yeah.
41:58And clearly he's a little unstable when it comes to some of the decisions that he's making.
42:06And this could be a reason why he's being blocked.
42:09Like, listen, you got to clean these things up.
42:11You got to get, you know, spiritually, mentally, emotionally stable before you enter into these situations.
42:17Because if you're sitting here buying stuff just because you want somebody to come to the door, what's going to happen when you get into a relationship?
42:25What else are you going to be buying just so that they can do certain things?
42:29You're really going to be in debt and you're really going to be in a situation.
42:32If you're buying just so that somebody can come to the front door that's a complete stranger, what will you do when you're in a relationship and you actually know the person?
42:40That, yeah, that's, that's, you know, that right there, I thought about that too.
42:46You know, it's like, I've never, you know, I don't get me wrong.
42:51I've been lonely, but I've never been that lonely where I just go buy stuff.
42:56And then, like he said, he opened it up and he looked at it one time.
43:01If I buy something, I'm going to use it.
43:05You know, I'm going to use it.
43:07I'm just not going to buy it to say I have something.
43:11Man, like I said, it has to be something, you know, up with him because he can't find nobody at work.
43:19I know work is not probably the best space, but still, you know, somebody he can talk to from work or, you know, I hate to say go.
43:31Well, he drinks anyway, so he might as well go to a club or go to a library.
43:38And it just seems like he's, he's like, he's in isolation.
43:42He isolate himself from the world because maybe it's something that he has an issue with.
43:50Yeah, if we don't know the full story.
43:54Right.
43:54It's either he's isolating himself or either.
44:00I'm leaning more towards that.
44:02Listen, God knows and sees everything.
44:05Yeah.
44:06And I believe that maybe you're being isolated so you can clean things up.
44:11Yeah.
44:12Yeah.
44:13That's true.
44:13That's true.
44:14Because, I mean, Diana, she says that to me a lot of times.
44:19She said, maybe, maybe the reason why, you know, this came on you is to protect you from somebody.
44:28Because I was planning on going out of town.
44:32And, and she said, maybe that's why it happened because you was planning on going out of town.
44:41Now, I wonder if you had went out of town and this had to happen to you.
44:46Yeah, I learned.
44:47Yeah.
44:49Go ahead.
44:51Now, oh, no.
44:52And I thought about it.
44:54So more and more now.
44:55I kind of look at it like this, you know, if God wanted me to go, he would have, this wouldn't have happened.
45:06Absolutely.
45:06And, you know, and, you know, to say that, you're right when you said, that's probably why God is holding somebody, anybody, you know, him back is to clean himself up.
45:23And he needs, instead of him wanting somebody, he needs to look in the mirror at himself.
45:31And then, you know, when he look at himself and see what he's doing wrong.
45:38Right.
45:40Want yourself before you want somebody else.
45:43Exactly.
45:44Yeah.
45:46Wow.
45:47This is not here.
45:48And we could continue to go on and on.
45:52Yeah.
45:52We're going to wrap this up here.
45:54That last statement, want yourself before you want somebody else, because you need to want yourself so that somebody else can want you.
46:02Because if you don't want yourself, you're sitting here running and chasing, you're running from yourself.
46:07So, everything starts with self.
46:09Get with yourself first.
46:11Love yourself first.
46:12That way you can love somebody else.
46:13There's a whole lot going on here.
46:15Yeah.
46:16That's true.
46:18So, what you got going on this week as we wrap up?
46:24What you got for the people?
46:25Oh, let me see.
46:26I don't know.
46:27It depends on how I feel Friday evening.
46:32A friend of mine, he plays, he plays a guitar.
46:36He sings, he plays.
46:38And he normally let me come, you know, whenever I show up to any of his, you know, music sets, he let me come up and read a couple of poems.
46:47I might.
46:49Right now, I'm not leaning toward going.
46:53I'm, you know, and I told him what the deal was.
46:56Saturday, it's a monthly reading out of Austin, but it's on Zoom that I'll be doing.
47:07Sunday, nothing.
47:13You know, I mean, it won't be no football on.
47:16So, if the weather is good, I'll be back at the park.
47:20Okay.
47:22I put it like that.
47:23When the weather's good, I'm starting to get out more.
47:26I'm starting to take these walks.
47:29I'm trying to, you know, strengthen, you know, everything up.
47:32You know, my cardiology, you know, cardio and my legs, my heart and all that.
47:38You know, so I'm doing, I'm doing all that.
47:42And plus, when I'm out there, even though I'm with, you know, Diana, I still feel, I still feel invisible and I feel like I'm by myself.
47:52And she knows, and there's no disrespect towards her.
47:55Mm-hmm.
47:56Mm-hmm.
47:57But she knows that I'm into my own world.
48:02And, you know, I'll come home and I'll put the videos on.
48:07And next thing you know, I got a poem.
48:10That's amazing.
48:12So, you know, that's all I got going right now.
48:18All right.
48:19That's what's up.
48:22I will be on Instagram, I believe, on Sunday.
48:28Oh, okay.
48:29Probably around noon.
48:31Okay.
48:32Just a pop-up situation.
48:35Nothing big.
48:37Other than that, I'm just grinding and doing what I do.
48:45Yeah.
48:46So, is this going to be a thing where you're going to open up for people to come on or?
48:51Oh, for Instagram?
48:53Yeah.
48:54Yeah, something like that along the lines.
48:57Oh, okay.
48:58Yeah, every now and then.
49:01Yeah.
49:01So, yeah, I'll be on Instagram on Sunday.
49:05Probably around noon.
49:11And other than that, that's pretty much it.
49:14Any last words that you got for the people before we get out?
49:20Hey, you know, just try to enjoy the rest of the week, man.
49:28Take it one day at a time.
49:30Yeah.
49:31Yeah.
49:31And, you know, that's all you can do.
49:34You know, I mean, I know things in this world is kind of like going really, really crazy, but all you can do is try to protect yourself and, you know, keep your head.
49:48I always tell people, keep your head on a swivel because, you know, you never know when somebody is just laying around and will try to run up on you.
49:59Yeah, that is true.
50:02In the world we are today, you got to be vigilant.
50:06You got to know what's going on.
50:09Yeah, that's some good advice there.
50:12All right.
50:13So, I will talk to you soon.
50:16I'll see you when I see you.
50:18Okay.
50:19And on that note, take care.
50:21Have a good night.
50:22You do the same.
50:24All right.
50:25Take care now.
50:26Okay.
50:26All right.
50:27Yep.
50:27Bye.
50:27Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.
50:31That was author slash poet bird man 313.
50:35I'm going to say that this Choco Vine has definitely hit the spot.
50:40So, y'all go ahead and try this wine out.
50:44It's chocolate and raspberry.
50:46It's a delight.
50:47And it probably will work very well with some fruit, especially like maybe some chocolate covered strawberries or something like that.
50:57And next week, we'll do a part two of what I feel about Valentine's Day.
51:05Maybe I'll open up and spend some time speaking about Valentine's Day.
51:09But like I said in the beginning, just be very cautious during this time of year because there can be some unnecessary spending.
51:20But in any case, if you like anything that you heard tonight, anything that sparked your interest when it comes to debt-free living, please feel free to head on over to laryngaines.com.
51:31I focus on debt-free living from the spiritual, mental, physical, and financial aspect.
51:36You may also sign up for a free 15-minute consultation.
51:42You can apply to see if you qualify for the coaching sessions.
51:47I offer one-on-one coaching sessions, group sessions.
51:51Again, all of that information is at laryngaines.com.
51:55You can find out the different seasonal promotions and things that I have going on, free offers, financial tools that are all available at laryngaines.com.
52:07Let me know what you feel about tonight's show.
52:10You may text me at 609-210-98.
52:14Again, that number is 609-210-98.
52:18That is the official 4-1-1 podcast, Reading Between the Wines Hotline.
52:25And the burning question for Reflections tonight is,
52:29what are you trying to replace with purchases that were never meant to carry emotional weight?
52:37What are you trying to replace with purchases that were never meant to carry emotional weight?
52:44On that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to say thank you all so much for joining.
52:50Please tune in.
52:53Check me out on all of my social media platforms.
52:57You never know what I'm going to post, when I'm going to post.
52:59You never know when I'm going to go live.
53:02So stay tuned.
53:04And on that note, I want to say thank you all so much.
53:08Good night.
53:10I'll talk to you.
53:11And I'll see you when I see you.
53:13Take care.
53:155
53:154
53:173
53:182
53:191
53:20And that's a wrap on today's episode of the 4-1-1 podcast and Reading Between the Wines,
53:25where growth is always on the menu, and every pour reveals a little more truth.
53:31The conversation doesn't end here.
53:34Have something to say?
53:35Want to weigh in on tonight's burning questions?
53:38Text us anytime at the official 4-1-1 podcast and Reading Between the Wines hotline at
53:436-0-9-2-0-0-1-0-9-8.
53:48Stay plugged in across all social media platforms at Laring Gains.
53:52We're live and in the conversation on Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLive, Twitch,
53:59and Dailymotion.
54:00Prefer to listen on the go?
54:02The audio version is streaming on most major podcast outlets.
54:07Until we meet again, take what you've learned, sip slow, speak truth, and remember, transformation
54:13starts within.
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