Celebrating on Credit | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 13) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

Celebrating on Credit | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 13)   Featuring: Wine Down Wednesday, Mentorship Series   Wednesday | February 18th, 2026   Streaming LIVE on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES   https://leringaines.com  https://linktr.ee/leringaines  https://www.facebook.com/leringaines  http://instagram.com/leringaines  https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines  http://twitter.com/leringaines  https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines  https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines  https://dlive.tv/LerinGaines  https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines   Song of The Day: "Celebration" by Kool & The Gang  Released 1980 | Celebrate   Burning Questions for Reflections!  Is your generosity sustainable - or is it costing your future more than it blesses your present?  Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com   DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, DLIVE, Twitch, DailyMotion)   Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!   Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com   #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #DLIVE #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #RBTW #ReadingBetweenTheWines #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality   DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.   411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines  DISC 6: Vitality  Track 13: Celebrating on Credit  ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network  LerinGaines.com

Transcript

03:01More than a podcast, this is a sanctuary for self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.

03:08Here, we explore what it means to live debt-free, not just financially, but spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

03:16Every episode is part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series, spiritual Sundays, mental Mondays, transformational Tuesdays, wind-down

03:26Wednesdays, coaching sessions Thursdays, and financial Fridays.

03:31Each day holds space for wisdom, and real conversation. So grab your journal, pour your glass, and prepare to go

03:39beyond the surface. Because here, we don't just talk, we transform.

03:44And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and founder of Black Diamond Consultations, Laren Gaines.

04:04What's going on, what's going on, what's going on? Welcome, welcome, welcome on in.

04:09Welcome to Reading Between the Wines. This is another episode, this is another episode, another Wind Down Wednesday. And I

04:20just want to say, thank you all so much for joining in. I appreciate you.

04:25Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning, and good evening, all at the same time. For those

04:35of you who have been rocking with us for a minute, you understand and you know exactly where I'm coming

04:41from.

04:41And I appreciate y'all for being out there. The best thing that you could possibly do to help support

04:48this movement is to like, comment, share, subscribe, tag a friend, text a friend.

04:57And basically, refer this podcast out to someone else, share this podcast out, share this video, share this feed out

05:09to somebody else. Because you never know when breakthroughs are going to come through. You never know what episode is

05:17going to happen on.

05:18And my life changed in 2022, basically, for me, looking up and listening to somebody else. And here we are

05:27here today. So with that being said, let's get right on into this. I also want to let you know

05:34right off the rip that this is going to be a dry episode.

05:38So we're going to turn this into Wisdom Wednesday. But of course, you know, I'm going to give you some

05:43wisdom around wine as well. I have something special that I want to, you know, bring to you.

05:50So with that, let's go right ahead on and get right on into this. But before I switch gears, I

05:58want to give a very special thank you to my executive producer.

06:02I want to thank God for giving me another opportunity to come out here and continuously do what I do

06:09in every single week. It just continuously gets better and better with the lessons, you know, that I've learned along

06:17the way.

06:18So I want to say thank you so much. Give all of this to the most high for making this

06:23possible.

06:25Facebook, Instagram. Thank you all so much. I appreciate you all for the love out there.

06:30YouTube, of course. Anywhere you listen, we have so many different platforms, iHeartRadio, Deezer, Amazon Music, Spotify.

06:41I do want to say for the people out there, if you switched over from X, hang on a minute.

06:46I'm not sure what they got going on over there, but something's going on and the podcast has not been

06:52available for about two weeks.

06:54But, you know, things shall turn. But stay connected across all of my social media platforms and you'll be able

07:01to listen to the podcast or get some information one way or the other.

07:05So let's get into this. So we are celebrating on credit tonight.

07:11Episode 13, celebrating on credit.

07:14And we're going to speak a lot about some credit and using it the right way and what it means

07:21to use it the wrong way.

07:27Song of the day.

07:31Celebration.

07:33Cooling the gang.

07:361980. I was actually born when this album came out and this is off of their Celebrate album.

07:44And since we're speaking about celebrating tonight, we're going to celebrate on credit.

07:49But we can also celebrate on some wisdom as well.

07:53So what I want to bring tonight when it comes to celebrate is.

07:59Are you just celebrating during the good times?

08:02Or can you appreciate and celebrate when things aren't going so well?

08:08Because last week going into this week.

08:12I've had some challenges and I just sat back and I gave it to the most high.

08:16And even though some of these challenges were not the best of the best.

08:21I can still celebrate in a moment and say, thank God for you showing me everything that I need to

08:27see about this individual.

08:28Thank God for you showing me everything I needed to see about this company.

08:32Because had I just got so caught up on celebrating during the good times when people love me so much,

08:41I wouldn't have been able to celebrate and see the storm when it was coming.

08:47So if I had got so caught up and so wrapped up about what somebody thought about me during the

08:52good times, and then when they decided to twist and do the 180 or decided to flip up and do

08:58what they want to do, if I was so hopped up on when it was so good, maybe I wouldn't

09:04have been able to accept the bad.

09:06So what are you celebrating?

09:08Are you celebrating just the good times or are you able to celebrate when there are some setbacks because you

09:13know that the most high knows better than you and you know that, check this out, your rejection is my

09:24protection.

09:25You may not want nothing to do with me today, but trust and believe that the tables will turn and

09:31when they do, don't come running, don't come running.

09:37And then sometimes when you go through these setbacks, when you go through these periods of rejection, when you go

09:45through these periods where people want to go ahead and do the 180 on you, they want to do that

09:49twist and turn on you thinking that they have the upper hand.

09:54See, I learned today to learn how to celebrate those moments because God can take care of people far way

10:03better than I can.

10:06That's what I'm talking about tonight.

10:08What are you celebrating?

10:09Are you just so good when everything is on and popping, when everything is turned up, when everything is lit?

10:16But can you celebrate and can you thank him for stopping some of the nonsense that is headed your way?

10:28Track 13, Celebrating on Credit, Song of the Day Celebration by Cool and the Gang, released in 1980 off of

10:39their album Celebrate.

10:42And we're going to speak about some Cool and the Gang hits, you know, when we bring in my special

10:51guest, author slash poet, Birdman313.

10:59So it is a dry episode.

11:03I want to let you know that, but I am sipping on some fabulous tea right about now.

11:09But I'm going to still bring you all the wine that I need to bring.

11:18So I want to talk about the building blocks of wine because, you know, I speak about wine.

11:24We sample wine, but we don't really get into the real nitty gritty of it.

11:29So I want to get in and I want to take this moment before we get on with the show

11:33to just give you the real nitty gritty of wine, what we look for, what it all means.

11:41So the basic elements that make up a glass of wine, those that wine experts analyze when they are assessing

11:48the wine's quality or sugar, acidity, tannin and alcohol.

11:54Grape sugar is fermented into alcohol, and it gives the wine its richness and its fruitiness.

12:01The riper the grapes, the better the fruit, the sugar and the quality.

12:06Acidity is what keeps the fruit lively on a palate, especially in a white wine.

12:12Without it, wine becomes limp and bland, while reds not only seem flabby and unexciting, but also lack the structure

12:20to age well.

12:21Tannin comes from the grape skins and the seeds and is rarely noticeable in whites, although they really are there.

12:30But it is what gives a red wine its all-important structure, helping it to last and mature with age.

12:38Finally, alcohol gives a wine weight on a palate, such as a German wine with 7% alcohol will taste

12:46light,

12:47while a chunky California Ziffindale with 17% will be more than a mouthful.

12:55In a good wine, alcohol should never leave a burning sensation.

12:59So those are the building blocks of wine.

13:03So I want to say thank you all so much for joining.

13:06I appreciate you for coming in.

13:07I could not do this without each and every one of you, week after week, year after year.

13:13And, of course, I'm going to go ahead and get my cup.

13:17I don't have a glass.

13:19I'm going to get my cup of tea that I'm sampling.

13:23And for you out there, if you are sipping on your wine, I want to say thank you.

13:27You know, of course, we got more wine coming.

13:33When my sister was earlier this week about the Reading Between the Wines tour for 2026,

13:39which, you know, of course, that is going to be on and popping.

13:43So, yeah, sometimes we just got to take a break.

13:45That's what we're doing here.

13:46I'm keeping it real.

13:48Letting you all know.

13:49I just wasn't feeling it.

13:51And Jersey here is cold, like I'm what?

13:53And I'm over it.

13:54And we possibly word again, just over it.

13:58So, I got my tea.

14:00I got my pajamas.

14:02I'm ready.

14:04And we get ready to make some magic happen here tonight.

14:09Just thank you all for coming in.

14:11I appreciate it.

14:16All right.

14:17So, now, yeah, let's get into this.

14:21Let's bring in my friend, family to the show, author.

14:28Slash poet, verb man, 313.

14:43What's going on?

14:44What's going on?

14:46Hey, how's it going, man?

14:48Going good.

14:49Going good.

14:51Yeah.

14:53Yeah, you talking about the challenges, man.

14:56We've been having challenges here with this internet.

14:59So, if I pop off, I can pop back on.

15:02I just have to go and set it.

15:04Reset it.

15:06Just to let you know.

15:07Yeah.

15:08You know, things like that happen.

15:11Yeah.

15:11You know, I had my fair share of speaking and recording half of the show with the mic turned off.

15:18Yeah.

15:18Microphones not plugged in.

15:20Yeah.

15:20You know.

15:22Yeah.

15:23But I just thought I'd give you a heads up on that, man.

15:27I got you.

15:27I saw you pop out.

15:29And then you popped back in.

15:30I saw you.

15:31Oh, I did?

15:34At least that's what it seemed like.

15:35I thought that was you.

15:39I hope not, because I was recording.

15:43I think this week is a challenge for most podcasters.

15:48I don't know.

15:48I'm just putting it out there.

15:50I listened to a few podcasters.

15:52And one of my favorite ones was a little off this week.

15:56And I'm like, hmm, what's going on?

15:59Technical difficulties and all types of stuff was going on.

16:03But we ain't wishing none of that over here.

16:06We've been having a good streak.

16:08Everything's been going great.

16:09That's good.

16:10Yeah.

16:10I seen that little message SOS left on Instagram about me saying it's 80 degrees here.

16:17She said, don't say that too loud.

16:19Laren may get jealous.

16:23Well, listen, it's been 40.

16:26I think we hit 40.

16:28I was outside yesterday for like an hour.

16:33I finally got out, still walking and climbing over snow mountains.

16:37But I was out.

16:38Because when it went, when it go from, but isn't that crazy, though?

16:42Because when it go from negative to single digits and then it pops up to 40, you think it's summertime.

16:49Oh, yeah.

16:50Oh, yeah.

16:50Well, you know, I have to say, man, it's been, the day was the coolest it's been in about a

16:56week here.

16:57And it was 78.

17:0078 degrees.

17:02Yeah.

17:02Because, you know, I've been going to the park, which I'm quite sure you've been seeing the pictures I've been

17:07posting.

17:07And I've been going to the park and been going to the park and putting some videos together and getting

17:15ready to put some words to them.

17:17And, you know, just the same old thing that I do, man, create.

17:22Yeah, yeah.

17:23God made us in his image.

17:28And he is the creator.

17:32So, of course, that's what we are.

17:34We're creators.

17:35Oh, yeah.

17:36He's made us to create things.

17:37Absolutely.

17:38That's good.

17:40Shout out to Miss SOS talking about the temps.

17:47Yeah.

17:49All right.

17:50So, yeah.

17:51You ready to get into our money hacks?

17:55Oh, yeah.

17:57All right.

17:57Let's get right on into it.

18:01All right.

18:02100.

18:03100.

18:04All right.

18:05Let's see what we got with 100.

18:10100.

18:12All right.

18:14We spoke about we on this.

18:17We on this retirement thing.

18:18We still want it, which is cool.

18:21That's good.

18:22And this is what you should do.

18:25Roll over multiple accounts into one account prior to retirement.

18:31If you've had a few jobs along the way, you might have more than an old, excuse me, if you've

18:37had a few jobs along the way, you might have more than a few old 401ks that you haven't done

18:43much with.

18:44As mentioned earlier, if any of those plans charge high fees, you should get them out ASAP and move your

18:52money into an IRA rollover account.

18:55Also, as you near retirement, it is doubly important to consolidate your multiple accounts into one account.

19:03Not only is it easier to keep track of, but also when you begin to take withdrawals in retirement, it

19:09will make it so much.

19:10It will make so much sense to not have to figure out your required minimum distribution from multiple accounts all

19:17over the place.

19:19What do you think about that?

19:22Yeah, you know, I mean, for those who can afford that, that's not a bad thing there.

19:29You know, I mean, I say, you know, everybody that retires, don't be in that position.

19:41But if you can be in that position, I always tell people, go ahead and take advantage of it.

19:49Absolutely.

19:51And back to what this at the beginning here, you've had a few jobs along the way.

19:58That's cool.

19:59But if you got your money spread out all over the place into multiple accounts, that's a little disturbing because

20:06you shouldn't wait.

20:08This is just my personal opinion.

20:10Listen, I am not here to tell anybody what to do.

20:12I'm not a financial advisor.

20:14I'm not a financial planner.

20:16I'm a financial coach.

20:18And this is just through my experiences and what I've gone through and the lessons that I've learned.

20:25It is not good to have your money just spread out all over the place and you have to run

20:30down and keep track this password signing into that account.

20:34Don't this, that, the next, the other.

20:37You wait till retirement.

20:40Please.

20:40If I don't work for that job anymore, I want my money now.

20:44I'm not waiting till nothing.

20:45I'm rolling that over into an IRA as soon as possible and get my money away from that old employer

20:52that I'm no longer in a relationship with anymore.

20:54And I'm putting it under my possession and my own IRA account.

20:59So for those of you out there listening, listen, I'm not telling you what to do.

21:05But if it was me, I'm not waiting.

21:08If I know if I no longer work for you in 2025, trust and believe before that year ends, I've

21:15already taken that money off of your hands and putting it into my possession.

21:19So I have control over my own destiny.

21:22Don't don't wait till retirement.

21:24Don't have it spread all out.

21:25Don't keep chasing these passwords and accounts from these old employers and just absolutely not.

21:32That's what I have to say.

21:34You know, that that that is true, because that kind of like happened to me.

21:40One, I was paying into an account.

21:44And then at the end of the year, they sent me a statement.

21:47Then when I said, well, I told him I want to pull it out.

21:50They told me I didn't have nothing.

21:52And I'm like, you just sent me a statement.

21:54Oh, that was a mistake.

21:57And then I talked to an employee that worked there.

22:03And he said, dude, he said, man, what they did was they took your money and gave it to split,

22:10you know, split it with all of us.

22:12He said, Nick, if they didn't split it with us, the ones in the front office got it.

22:18I don't even see how that is.

22:20That is illegal to the 10th power, man.

22:24But hey, that's.

22:26And I told him, I said, seriously.

22:28He said, yeah.

22:29And he said that you're not the only one is several people that have complained about their money.

22:37And he said.

22:39If they don't give it to us as bonuses at the end of the year, then he said what they

22:45do is in the front office, they take it and a spirit, you know, spirit, give it to them.

22:55I don't even know what to say about that.

22:57I'm thinking again, you know, I don't know.

23:00But I'm thinking that that money might still be there.

23:03Maybe they were just watching like that.

23:05Maybe they were just.

23:07The company them folded been folded years ago.

23:12So I tried to fight it.

23:15I did, man.

23:16And they told me that they said, stop calling.

23:20Because you're not getting a penny from us.

23:24So.

23:25Oh, see, see.

23:27But see, you know what?

23:28But just back to what I was saying with the celebrate.

23:30See, sometimes we got to celebrate when things ain't going so good like that, because you don't know that probably

23:36was a blessing right there to get away from that situation before you invested too much into it.

23:41Before you put a whole bunch in it and was sitting there counting on it and waiting on it.

23:46And then something like this could happen.

23:48Yeah.

23:50Yeah.

23:51Yeah.

23:55It's interesting.

23:56Yeah.

23:57That's why entrepreneurship sounds so sweet to me today.

24:02Yeah.

24:05Because some of these jobs, man.

24:07But I'm not even going to stay on that.

24:10I'm going to get off that for a minute.

24:13Yeah.

24:15All right.

24:16So.

24:18Oh, it's going to be interesting.

24:20As we get into this tonight, we are headed all the way to be more Baltimore, Maryland.

24:29We have Miss Monique.

24:32We helping out Miss Monique tonight.

24:35And let me make sure that I got you back up here.

24:37I think you just dropped off, but I see you back in here now.

24:40Yeah.

24:41Yeah.

24:41So we headed to Baltimore and we're going to get right into tonight's assignment.

24:49Monique says, Laren, I love celebrating people.

24:53Birthdays, graduations, promotions.

24:56I'm the one who plans the dinners, buy the thoughtful gifts, make sure everyone feels special.

25:02It's how I show love.

25:04But I looked at my credit card statement last week and it hits me.

25:08Half of my balance is celebrations.

25:10Flights I couldn't really afford.

25:12Group dinners where I covered more than my share because I didn't want to be that person.

25:17Gifts that felt meaningful in the moment, but now feel heavy.

25:23I don't regret loving people, but I do regret not loving my future self the same way.

25:29Nobody asked me to do as much as I do.

25:33That's the truth.

25:35I put the pressure on myself because I want to be generous.

25:38I want to be remembered as someone who shows up.

25:41But now I'm trying to pay down debt created by moments that lasted a few hours.

25:46I don't want to become that person who stops celebrating.

25:49I just want to keep celebrating with money.

25:52Excuse me.

25:53I don't want to become the person who stops celebrating.

25:57I just don't want to keep celebrating with money I don't have.

26:02How do you keep your generosity without turning it into a financial setback?

26:08What do you have for Miss Monique?

26:13Oh, man.

26:15You know, personally, I thought about this and I'm like, you said you love doing this, but now you're going

26:25to complain.

26:27Then nobody asked you to do it.

26:29So what is the complaint really?

26:32Nobody asked me to.

26:34And it seems like you're trying to, to me, that you're trying to buy friendship and love.

26:42And people either, they're going to love you, whether you do this or not.

26:47Or hate you, whether you.

26:50Exactly.

26:51And, you know, I've had friends that have, you know, been like this, you know, they always want to be

27:00the life of the party, as they say.

27:03They want to show everybody that they're doing well, that they can do all of this and that.

27:11And then they're actually, they're miserable because when they get this, like she said, when she get a statement, it's

27:19money that, you know, you don't spend.

27:22And then you think about what you're going to have for the future.

27:27And it's, you know, this is on her.

27:32Can't nobody, can't nobody tell her, you know, because she wasn't forced.

27:38That's how I look at it.

27:40I could be wrong, but she even said, no, you know, nobody asked her to do it.

27:46So why is she complaining about it?

27:52I mean, you know, it's really not much to say about it because she's doing this to herself.

28:02You started off with an attitude.

28:04You said, ain't nobody tell you to do it.

28:11No, no, you know, it's just that, okay, I guess if you want to look at it like that, but

28:17it's just the fact that nobody, nobody told her to do it.

28:21She's doing this on her own.

28:23She wants everybody, you know, how, and I don't know if you had in your family, like you have like

28:29a big mama and everybody go to her house for dinner and stuff, you know, like that.

28:38And, you know, when she gets sick, who's going to come and help her?

28:45You know, everybody, everybody that she was cooking for should be helping her.

28:51Right.

28:51Exactly.

28:52I didn't, I didn't, I didn't grow up with, you know, big mama because my parents was, we was living

28:57in Michigan.

28:58My grandparents were living down here in Texas.

29:00But when we came down here, my, my, you know, we didn't, we didn't look for, you know, our grandmother

29:08to, when she, and she was older and she was sick.

29:11And, you know, we, no one looked for her to do things like that.

29:15I'm just, you know, trying to give an example of, you know, everybody have that one person in a neighborhood

29:21where, or you have this one guy who want to be Santa Claus 24, 7, 365 days.

29:29But then he gets back and he complained about, you know, if somebody treat him wrong.

29:35Oh man, I treated this person.

29:37I did this, did that.

29:38And this is how you do me.

29:40Well, you know, really nobody asks you that, asks you to do all of that.

29:47And she, she, you know, the example that she's putting out there, she, she gotta, she gotta look in the

29:54mirror and she gotta say to herself, well, I did this to myself.

30:00Nobody really did this to me.

30:04That's, that's a good point.

30:05Um, anything that happens to us in life.

30:09And I know it, we may not all understand it and it may not make sense today, but one day,

30:17maybe you'll get to a point where you understand that everything that we experience in our lifetime.

30:23Um, majority of the time we've done it to ourselves.

30:28Exactly.

30:29So this, we have family members that act like this in this letter.

30:36We have friends that act like this, such as what you said, Birdman.

30:41We have people, people on our jobs that act like this.

30:46Um, you love celebrating people.

30:49Right.

30:51Birthdays, graduations, and promotions.

30:53Okay.

30:54You love celebrating it so much.

30:58You're the one who plans dinners, buys thoughtful gifts, and makes sure that everyone feels special.

31:03That's how you show love, huh?

31:05Now, nowhere do I see any, in the beginning of this, that you take time to show love to yourself.

31:14Exactly.

31:16You too busy people pleasing and doing things for others that you haven't taken the time out to show love

31:27for yourself.

31:28Because if you did, you would understand and see that there's something wrong here.

31:36Especially when you're buying stuff with money that you don't have.

31:42Credit cards, just swiping up.

31:44Half of the balance is on celebrations.

31:48Flights, it's gotten to the point where you're putting people on planes and you know that you can't afford it.

31:55Well, that's game over.

32:00Yeah.

32:01No.

32:02Mm-mm.

32:02Now you've gotten to the flights, group dinners, where you cover more than your fair share because you didn't want

32:09to be that person.

32:10What person?

32:12What person?

32:14What person?

32:14That actually paid for what they were supposed to pay for?

32:19I don't understand this here.

32:20I don't get it.

32:21I know.

32:21And like I said, I have a friend now.

32:24I know when my son, when my son Michael hears this, he's going to say, oh, I know the guy

32:30you're talking about.

32:31He was like that.

32:32You know, you used to go around his house and he was, you know, big baller.

32:38He had everything.

32:40You know, you can go over there.

32:41You didn't have to buy no beer.

32:43He had it.

32:43You had to buy no liquor.

32:45He had, you didn't have to buy no smoke because he had it.

32:48And, you know, he had his vehicle.

32:51His wife had her vehicle.

32:53His son had his.

32:55But now, you know what?

32:57He's living in a transitional home because guess what?

33:00His kids left him.

33:02His wife left him.

33:04And all his friends don't want to be around him now.

33:08And so, as one of our friends, you know, we got a couple friends that,

33:13that I see every once in a while and I'll ask them about him and they'll say, hey, man.

33:20They said, hey, he living in transitional, you know, and he walk in and I'm like walking.

33:27They say, yeah.

33:28And, you know, he don't have no teeth.

33:30And, you know, I'm like, wow, man.

33:33And for a minute, yes, he was on top.

33:38When the money goes, there goes.

33:40Yeah.

33:41Yeah.

33:42And then, you know, you look at it, you look at the money you spend and you say, man, all

33:49this money I spent on this, this and that, I really didn't have to.

33:54And why did I?

33:56Right.

33:57When the money goes, there goes your friends.

34:01Exactly.

34:01When the money goes, there goes your bins.

34:04Yes.

34:05Yes.

34:07Yeah.

34:07And, you know, I will say this.

34:10I do have one son that's like that, you know, and now he don't come around and I don't invite

34:16him around.

34:19So sometimes when people get like, you know, like even Monique saying, how do you keep your generosity without turning

34:27it into a financial setback?

34:29And, you know, like you said, you spoke about your son.

34:34Sometimes the only thing that you can do is pray for people.

34:37And because you can't really tell them one way or the other because they may not receive it or take

34:42it the right way.

34:43So in this situation, when you're, when Monique is clearly know that she couldn't afford things, plane tickets, dinners, this,

34:51that, the next, the other, and still have the, I want to say nerve, but I'm going to take that

34:57back.

34:58I ain't going to be so harsh, but still, but still have it to ask, how do you keep your

35:04generosity?

35:05Oh, so my, my point is, oh, you still haven't learned your lesson yet with all of these things that

35:10we have going on.

35:11You still haven't learned it yet.

35:12So the only thing that I can do is pray for somebody like Monique and some of us out there

35:19who are listening, where we have family members, we have friends, we have people on our jobs that clearly are

35:24doing too much, doing the most and can't even see past go and their consumer debt.

35:30When it comes to this, only thing you can do is just pray for them because they're going to have

35:35to hit their own financial rock bottom to where they won't even have to ask questions of how do you

35:39keep your generosity?

35:41There's other things that you can do to show generosity without digging in your pockets.

35:48Exactly.

35:50Well, I'm, I'm over this right now.

35:52I don't even know what to say about it.

35:55You know, that's funny, man, because I, you know, when I looked at this and normally I, you know, when

36:02I, when I look at these things, I look at them and I look at them three or four times.

36:07And immediately after I read it the first time and I'm like, the decision is really up to her, not

36:16nobody else.

36:18You know, and you know, and you know, it's, it's like I said, man, is she looking for love or,

36:25you know, she feel like she has to be that top person so everybody can look up to her.

36:33And then the first time one of them youngsters say something bad to her, she going to get upset and

36:40tell me, oh, all this stuff I did for you.

36:45And that, that, that seems to be the, that seems to be the, I've heard this, man, I did all

36:52of this for you.

36:53And this, how are you going to talk to me?

36:57Listen, I used to be that person.

36:59So I know, I know I used to be that person that would throw it back up into somebody's face

37:05about all of the things that I've done for them.

37:08And this is, and listen, that's not a good place to be in because when you do something for somebody,

37:14you have to do it from the heart, expecting nothing in return.

37:17And what I've learned out of my own situation, because the shoe ended up being on the other foot, you

37:25know, later on down the road, once I sobered up because you do reap what you sow.

37:30So, yeah, so I had to be on the other end of it where people would actually do stuff for

37:36me and then turn around and, you know, do the 180 on me.

37:40But all, all gifts are not good gifts.

37:44You got to be very careful with who you take from.

37:47Yeah.

37:47You know, it's funny you said that because there was a time when I would go visit my sons in

37:53San Antonio and we, you know, we would go out to restaurants and eat.

37:58And one day, my son, Michael, he said, dad, he said, we don't have to go to a restaurant.

38:06He said, man, let's just go up here to the grocery store and get this and go to the house

38:11and cook it.

38:12And then my youngest son said, yeah, pops, you don't have, we don't have to do this.

38:16Every time you come here, go to a restaurant.

38:19And I'm like, okay, then I said, well, I said, when we were small, I wasn't able to take y

38:26'all to nice restaurants like that.

38:27They said, hey, you did what you could do with what you had.

38:32And now when I go there, they, they cook it.

38:35They cook it for me.

38:37Go sit down, man.

38:38Go sit down and watch TV.

38:40You know, he's go put your earplugs in and listen to some music.

38:46Just go sit down.

38:47And that's how they do.

38:50And they, they will cook.

38:53And well, you know, could Mike stay with his mom?

38:56Cause he helping her out.

38:57And, you know, and so like, he said, yeah, you and mom did enough for us.

39:03It's time for us to do for y'all.

39:05That's what's up.

39:06That's what's up.

39:07Yeah.

39:08So, you know, and I appreciate that, you know, and now both of them can cook.

39:14You know, I mean, Michael surprised me cause he'd been cooking so much and it surprised me.

39:20But he, like I said, he's taking care of his mom where she don't have to cook all the time.

39:25And I told him, Hey man, I said, you know what, dude, I mean, I said, you know, and I

39:30always tell him regardless, you know, one is going one way, one go the other way.

39:34But I tell him, I say, Hey man, I'm proud of both of y'all because y'all done stepped

39:38up.

39:40And, you know, you do what you can for her.

39:43And I mean, they do what they can for me when I'm there.

39:46Right.

39:47You know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

39:50So like I said, when you, I mean, she just, she worried about if she don't do this and what

39:59people are going to say and people, whether she don't realize people's talking about her right now for the very

40:07ones that she's doing for, they talking about her right now.

40:11Cause when they see her coming, you know what they saying?

40:14Hey man, put your money up.

40:16She getting ready to pay for everything.

40:19You know, that's crazy that, that, you know, and that's so profound that you just brought that up because in

40:282020, when things started to break down around me, I was in an environment where I saw people do that

40:35to their so-called friend.

40:36And this woman was so generous buying food.

40:40She was buying pizza at the moment.

40:42And I heard people that are supposed to be her best friend, sister say, Oh no, put your money up

40:50because so-and-so getting ready to pay.

40:52I said, Oh, wow.

40:54I said, I can't believe y'all.

40:55First of all, you said it in front of me.

40:58That's what I was like, wow.

40:59So if you, this supposed to be, you know, your home girl, your ace, and this is how you treating

41:06her.

41:06And you only know me for, you know, a couple of years.

41:10I can imagine what you would say when you see me coming.

41:13I was like, Oh, now I know I got to get from around these people.

41:17Yeah.

41:17And I mean, I've seen people, you know, like we'd be, you know, you know, you know how it is,

41:22you know, hanging out up at the store, but we wouldn't hang out in the front.

41:26We'll go on the side where, you know, when, you know, when distract, you know, customers away from the store.

41:34And we always had one person.

41:36They said, Oh yeah, man.

41:37I said, we getting ready to get drunk tonight, man.

41:39And we ain't got to spend a penny.

41:40Just like, you know, and the, Hey man, you want a drink?

41:46You want a drink?

41:47Yep.

41:49And even, you didn't even have to say nothing.

41:51He was like, Oh man, he'll count how many people out there going there and back out there.

41:56Everybody, he said, Oh man, Oh, you need another one.

41:59And I, and I just, I looked at him one day and I'm like, you know what?

42:03I don't even know this guy that well.

42:04And I feel like I'm using them.

42:08Wow.

42:08And I, I just, you know, whenever I seen them guys, Hey man, they said, Hey man, you don't hang

42:16out with us that much no more.

42:18I said, man, I got things to do, man.

42:21Right.

42:22Get away from that situation real quick.

42:25Yeah.

42:26Cause eventually that person is going to snap and going to realize, Hey man, all these people just hanging around

42:34with me, but quote, what I can do for them.

42:37And my dad used to always tell me, I mean, that's what I learned there growing up.

42:41He said, you got people that will hang out with you just because you can do things for them.

42:49And he said, they won't lift a finger for you when you need it.

42:54Exactly.

42:56Yep.

42:58Well, I think we, uh, gave Ms. Monique, um, enough for tonight.

43:04I don't know.

43:05Um, yeah, again, Monique, you're going to have to figure this out on your own.

43:09You got to go through your own financial, you know, uh, rock bottom in order to start to think different,

43:17stay in it long enough.

43:19Yeah.

43:20That's the only thing I have to say.

43:21I'm starting to say that this year, you know what?

43:23Let me not force nothing.

43:24Let me not say anything, stay in it long enough.

43:28You'll want to get out.

43:29And when you're ready to get out, if you stayed in there long enough, you won't want to go back.

43:35Exactly.

43:38All right.

43:40So anybody out there listening, if you want to chime in, maybe you saw something different from me and Birdman.

43:45Maybe you think differently.

43:46Hey, we all different.

43:48Chime in, drop it in the comments.

43:50Let us know what you think about it.

43:52And, um, you can also DM, you can text 609-200-1098 as well.

43:58Let us know how you feel about tonight's segment.

44:01And Birdman, what you got going on in your world this week?

44:06Oh, really, MSNC, Saturday.

44:09It's called APS, Austin Poetry Society.

44:14Have a reading.

44:15It's on Zoom.

44:16Be doing that.

44:18And then Sunday, that's in Austin.

44:24Performance Poets out of West Palm Beach, Florida have a reading.

44:31I'm going to do that.

44:32And I don't know.

44:34There's a reading that's up in New York that I go to a lot.

44:39I may go to that reading instead of the one performance, but they're at the same time.

44:46So, I normally have to choose which one I'm going to go to.

44:51Oh, so this one in New York is going to be virtual?

44:54Yeah.

44:55Yes.

44:56Oh, okay.

44:57Flying out here to New York.

44:59Oh, no.

45:00Hey, man, I ain't got that.

45:02Oh, no.

45:02I ain't got no flight money no more.

45:07No.

45:08No, man.

45:09Yeah.

45:09No.

45:10It's on, you know, all of it's on Zoom.

45:13Okay.

45:13So, you know, I don't know by tomorrow which one I'm going to go to.

45:19I kind of like both of them, but I kind of like the one in New York a little bit

45:27more

45:27because it's a lot of the readers there, they are, I don't see, how can I put it?

45:37They seem a little bit friendly.

45:40They seem a little bit friendlier.

45:42That's interesting that New York seems friendlier, or is it that you just feel a little bit more

45:48at home because it's New York?

45:52I don't know.

45:56There's a couple people that I really connect to.

45:59One of them is over, me and him, me and him and his girlfriend used to do a festival in

46:05Austin

46:06for, you know, for a few years.

46:09And so, like, and then there's a guy that's out in Yosemite, and him and I, you know, have

46:17gotten tight.

46:17So, that has a lot to do with where the ones in Florida, it's a couple there that's like that.

46:26But, you know, hey, man, you know, it's like it's just something different with both of them.

46:33And, you know, and I guess it has to do with, and both of them have, the age group is

46:42the same.

46:44It's just a different flavor.

46:47I can't pinpoint on why I like the one in New York better than I do the one in Florida.

46:54Shout out to the New York vibe because I know exactly what it is.

46:58It's that up north vibe.

47:00I got you.

47:01But see, the one in New York, they give you five minutes to read, where the, I don't need no

47:10five minutes,

47:10but they give you five minutes to read.

47:13So, if I want to read three poems the first round, I can, and then the second round, I can

47:18read a short one,

47:19whereas the one in Palm, you know, Palm Beach is three minutes.

47:27So, you know, and like I said, I kind of like, and I think I know, I do think I

47:34know what it is,

47:35but I'm not going to say it right now.

47:37And when I tell you, you're going to be like, dude, you sure about that?

47:43And I'm going to tell you what it is.

47:46Okay.

47:47I can't wait to hear this.

47:49Okay.

47:52And then, you know, Diana going to start back editing my next book next week, and so I can get

48:02it off.

48:03And, you know, matter of fact, that publisher is out of New York.

48:11So, I don't know what it is, man, but it's, you know, that's what's going on.

48:17And, you know, of course, I have my books on Amazon at Birdman313.

48:22My YouTube channel, you know, youtube.com slash author, poet, Birdman31355.

48:32And, you know, Instagram, Birdman31355.

48:37Also on Spotify, I need to get them a new video.

48:41I mean, I already have 12 of them on her platform.

48:44It's coffee, wine, and words, Spotify channel.

48:50And I'm thinking about sending her a new video.

48:54So, I mean, if anybody just wanted to go there, they can, you know, see.

48:59Like I said, I have 12.

49:01So, if you want to look at all 12 in one day, fine.

49:04If you want to take, you know, a day off, you know, look at one one day, one the next

49:09week, it's fine.

49:11But, you know, check them out, though, man.

49:14And I think I chose some pretty good ones on Spotify for whatever reason.

49:21And that one is out.

49:22This platform is in Vegas.

49:25Wow.

49:26Wow.

49:28All right.

49:29So, I'm all around.

49:31Yeah.

49:32More to come, too, on Birdman.

49:34And I got some updates for that as well.

49:36But.

49:37Yeah.

49:38I know we got to get out of here to pay some bills.

49:41So, I appreciate that.

49:43And I will.

49:44I'll be talking to you soon.

49:46So.

49:46Okay.

49:47Take care.

49:48Yeah, you too.

49:49All right.

49:50All right.

49:51Take care.

49:52Yep.

49:52You too.

49:54Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

49:57That was author slash poet Bergman 313.

50:10I want to thank each and every one of y'all for tuning in.

50:14I appreciate that.

50:15And this has been a great episode, a great run so far for Disc 6 Vitality.

50:24If you heard anything that you like tonight and it sparked some interest, please feel free to head on over

50:32to LarenGaines.com.

50:33You can sign up for the free 15-minute consultation.

50:39Apply to see if you qualify for the coaching sessions.

50:44There's all types of information available at LarenGaines.com.

50:48All around debt-free living.

50:50I focus on debt-free living from the spiritual, mental, physical, and financial.

50:55Again, all of that information is available at LarenGaines.com.

50:59Check out the events page.

51:01Check out the resources as well.

51:03Because there's lots of valuable information there.

51:07On that note, I want to say thank you all so much for joining.

51:11Please hit that like button.

51:13Please share this podcast.

51:15Share this video.

51:16Wherever you are listening at.

51:18Whether it's Spotify, iHeart, Deezer, Audacity, Amazon Music, whether it's YouTube, Facebook, TikTok, wherever you're listening from.

51:34Please use your virtual voice.

51:37Let me know exactly where you are calling from, where you are representing, what you have going on in your

51:44neck of the woods.

51:45If there's anything that you want to chime in on tonight's episode or any episodes that you've been listening in,

51:54catching up on, please feel free.

51:58Text me at 609-210-98.

52:01Again, that number is 609-210-98.

52:05That is the official 4-1-1 podcast, Reading Between the Wines Hotline.

52:10And very special thank you to author slash poet 313.

52:14Thank you, Ms. SOS.

52:16Thank you, Michael.

52:17I appreciate all of y'all out there for listening, checking us out.

52:21And we most certainly will see you when we see you.

52:27Tune in.

52:29Stay safe.

52:30Appreciate y'all.

52:31Stay safe.

53:01Stay safe.

53:31You

Celebrating on Credit | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 Podcast🍾Reading Between The Wines (Episode 13)

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