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Taskmaster - S20 E100 - My Ultimate Episode - James Acaster
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00:00Yuletide greetings, everyone. It's James Acaster here from series 7 of Taskmaster, and this is my ultimate episode ever.
00:09Did they say ever at the end? Probably.
00:19And the first prize category for our fledgling competitors is the thing that most people would like to touch.
00:26I'm going to start with old James there.
00:30What did you bring in that you think I'd like to touch?
00:32MC Hammer.
00:38By the way, I'm the first person to answer that as well.
00:44That should have just been, okay, you've won Taskmaster, let's stop it there.
00:50It's the first task of the entire series, the first person to answer the task.
00:57I don't know how, I know that I don't win this, and I don't think it's fair, because it's the best answer.
01:04The audience have spoken there with the applause.
01:07He released a song called Can't Touch This.
01:11Oh, Can't Touch This.
01:12And that made a lot of people want to touch it.
01:16We haven't got the actual MC himself, we've got a representation of the MC.
01:20Okay, so here's an example of the production screwing you over, mainly Alex.
01:25I find out in real time, this is me finding out at the same time as everyone else, that
01:30actually my prize task is a cardboard cutout of MC Hammer, which I know now, as soon as
01:37that was said by Alex, I was like, this is going to not go well for me.
01:42If you saw that on the street, you'd think it was him?
01:44Oh God, you would, yeah, especially if he was one-dimensional and stayed absolutely perfectly
01:48straight.
01:48One-dimensional, what are you on about?
01:49Can I say, I think he's two-dimensional.
01:51Yeah, he is two-dimensional.
01:52Yeah, there you go.
01:53There you go, always good to have Alex there.
01:55It was too early in the series for me to pick Greg up on anything there.
01:59It's like the first task.
02:01I'm not going to immediately say to him, what, you're talking about one-dimensional, he used
02:04to be a teacher.
02:05And how are you going to judge this entire series if you think things are one-dimensional, you
02:09idiots?
02:09But Alex did that for me, so that's good.
02:12I went to the trouble of knocking up a replica of your childhood, whose name was?
02:23BT, Blue Ted.
02:24BT, Blue Ted.
02:26And I know how much you enjoy touching.
02:32I think when contestants know Greg and are friends of Greg, this could go either way for
02:36them.
02:37This could be like that, you know, because he's a teacher as well.
02:39It's like if a teacher has one of their own children in the class and they're like, they
02:46might favour them, but they might also punish that kid even more because everyone thinks
02:50that.
02:50So you're like, it could go either way.
02:52And Rod's a naughty boy and cheeky to Greg and bringing in like a bear that apparently
02:57Greg, I think, used to try and have intercourse with or something.
03:00It was like something like that.
03:01Like, I don't think it's like necessarily getting yourself straight in the good books.
03:06So at that point, I wasn't sure what way it was going to go there.
03:10I knew that, you know, the two of them would have a lot more to talk about than the rest
03:16of us when it comes to stuff and that maybe EPA would have win them over.
03:20But no, at this point, I didn't think it was going to be as biased as it turned out to
03:25be.
03:25And it was a real shame the way that it went throughout the series.
03:30In joint seconds to last place with two points each, I'm going to put Kerry, because I despise
03:40women.
03:45Joint seconds to last, I'm going to put it with James's MC Hammer because I don't want
03:50to touch MC Hammer or a cardboard cutout of MC Hammer.
03:53Two, what a crock of bullsh- like, who won?
03:59That is solid.
04:02And in first place, inexplicably, because I don't know why I want to touch that toy, it's
04:07Phil Wang!
04:11Who do you must like to touch MC Hammer?
04:14I don't, I can't get my head around how that's not five points.
04:19That's a shame, but you know, I wrote all of my prize tasks on the same train journey.
04:27So, I guess that's what happens.
04:30Don't really think them through.
04:31I tried to just write the first thing that came into my head for each one of them and
04:34then text it back to Andy C.
04:36And I guess a lot of the time I'd forgotten what they were when the thing would come up
04:43and then they'd say to you, what have you chosen?
04:46But MC Hammer I knew and I was very happy to be, and I was also very happy just comedically
04:51for Greg to set it up the way he did by saying, what have you brought in that I'd most like
04:56to touch?
04:57He knew what he was doing there.
04:58He knew that it would mean that the pledge that would pay off and I do appreciate that.
05:02So, as much as I'm going to badge Greg throughout this and criticise him, he is sometimes in
05:08your corner, at least when it comes to comedy.
05:11I think I remember being in the wings just before going on and being very excited.
05:16I mean, I'd watched every single episode.
05:18I was a mega fan.
05:20I don't remember how much everyone else had watched, but then we were all excited to do
05:24it.
05:25We pretty much all knew each other as well beforehand.
05:28I don't think, because Jess has done so much more acting and scripted comedy than the rest
05:35of us, so we maybe didn't know Jess as well, but got on with Jess really quickly.
05:42That was like, so we all gelled really fast.
05:44I knew Kerry and Phil really well and obviously Rod was like the godfather, so we were all quite
05:50excited that Rod was there, but yeah, I think we felt like we had quite a good little gang
05:58who were like taking it just seriously enough, but also, you know, not seriously at all at
06:04the same time, so like quite a chaotic bunch.
06:06And I think before we stepped out there for the first episode, we all knew Kerry was going
06:10to win.
06:13It would have been ridiculous if she didn't.
06:21Well, just fitting, actually.
06:26Hello, James.
06:27I'm Jeff.
06:28Hello, Jeff.
06:28Hi.
06:30Hello, Phil.
06:30I'm Jeff.
06:31Hi, Jeff.
06:32Phil, good to meet you.
06:33How are you?
06:33I'm Jeff.
06:34Yep.
06:35You're Jeff.
06:36Exactly.
06:36Sometimes people call me Jeff.
06:37It's a joke.
06:38No offense.
06:39No.
06:39It's funny because I'm a girl.
06:41Yes, I noticed.
06:43Yeah, so just instantly, Jeff getting across who he is.
06:49I mean, he really played his role well here.
06:51At this point, we don't know what the task is.
06:53Every task, I was excited.
06:55You know, this is the dressing room where we would sit and wait, and they'd come and get
06:58you, and you'd get really, you know, I couldn't wait to do the next task every single day.
07:03And obviously, all you're thinking is, I hope it's a good one.
07:05And going into the caravan and seeing a man who you have not seen yet just sitting there
07:13was brilliant.
07:15I was like, this is, whatever this is, I can't wait.
07:18I'm really happy to meet this bloke.
07:21And I, whatever the task was.
07:25Also, I wasn't told at the time.
07:28I was only told afterwards that he was the father-in-law of one of the main producers
07:35of the show.
07:37But we weren't told that.
07:38It probably was best that we weren't told that beforehand, because I think we then would
07:41have factored that in, and like, you know, probably been naughtier than we were.
07:47I think we were all on pretty good behaviour with this guy.
07:49Cheer up this former traffic warden.
07:51You have 20 minutes.
07:53Your time starts now.
07:55Why do you need cheering up?
07:57I have a view on the world at the moment, generally, which is not particularly good.
08:04Jess's face, hearing that, absolutely gutted.
08:12I have a view on the world at the moment, which is not particularly good.
08:17Just really selected his words there.
08:21Clearly, you thought there were so many dark things.
08:23You know, if you ask me now why I need cheering up, and I've got to do it in a soundbite on
08:27a TV show, I'm going to answer it the same way, because I'm going to think, you know,
08:31don't talk about reform and AI.
08:34And Trump, and that's everything in the world.
08:39You know, don't talk about all that.
08:41Just say I have a view on the world at the minute, which is not very good.
08:46Let's do a role play.
08:48What's your name?
08:49Jeff.
08:49Thank you, Jeff.
08:50Can I buy you a holiday?
08:52Where would you like to go?
08:53Tenerife.
08:54Okay.
08:55Hold on a second.
08:56I'm really happy with my response here.
08:59I saw everyone else's response.
09:01And the one that's, I think, I think about Phil Wang's response really, really regularly.
09:06What's your favourite part of the UK that you've travelled to?
09:08Well, I lived in Scotland.
09:10Campbelltown in Argyle.
09:13And then...
09:13Lot of soup.
09:14Lot of soup in Campbelltown.
09:16Lot of soup in Campbelltown.
09:17And that became, I think, the title of the episode is Lot of Soup.
09:23Every time I text people and write Lotta, I think of Phil Wang.
09:27Rod's one was he just went...
09:29Cheer up, Jeff.
09:32Okay.
09:32And then he walked out.
09:34And bearing in mind, that is Jeff's entire day, is coming here to do Taskmaster again.
09:42And that happens.
09:43And then he gets sent home.
09:44That can't have been a...
09:46And it's his son-in-law has made him do it.
09:49So that can't have been a comfortable...
09:51You should get Andy to talk about what that day was like at home with the family.
09:56Because, like, I don't know.
09:59That wouldn't have been a very good chat in my house.
10:01You're in Tenerife.
10:02You can hear the water.
10:03You wanted to hear the water, didn't you?
10:04Yep.
10:06What else do you like to do in Tenerife?
10:07Eat, drink and be merry.
10:08Eat, drink and be merry.
10:11Absolutely.
10:12Just...
10:13Grumpy bloke.
10:16You know, for this task, anyway.
10:18And really funny that he wants to eat, drink and be merry.
10:21I forgot that I made him close his eyes.
10:24That's funny.
10:25That's sometimes just for me, certain things are funny that make me laugh.
10:31And I don't think anyone else finds this funny.
10:33But I find it funny that I made him close his eyes.
10:36And that he's closing...
10:36A very serious, grumpy man is having to close his eyes like a little child playing along with make-believe.
10:42And then obviously to get Alex involved straight away and getting to be his wife was a lot of fun.
10:48Because I also just find the idea of people having wives funny.
10:52As an unmarried person who doesn't want to get married,
10:54I just find it very funny when people have a wife.
10:58And so I think it's quite funny here that Jeff has a wife and that I know that I've got that on him.
11:03What happens next, I think, is really great, but it's also regrettable.
11:12Wrap your lips around this.
11:16Cider.
11:18Cider?
11:19Tastes like cider.
11:20Champagne.
11:21Yeah, there you go.
11:22So that is a bottle of champagne there that I'd run in here to the kitchen to find something that he could eat, drink and be merry.
11:31Didn't know what was in the kitchen.
11:33Open the fridge.
11:34There's a bottle of champagne.
11:36I think absolutely perfect.
11:38Run out.
11:39Pop it open.
11:40He has a little drink.
11:41Didn't know that that bottle of champagne was for the crew to celebrate the fact that they'd won a BAFTA.
11:49No one had told me that.
11:52So, and before anything could happen, before they could say, please don't open that and feed it to Jeff,
11:57I'd popped it open and it was in his mouth.
11:59And so they didn't have the celebratory champagne at the end of the day that was for all their hard work.
12:04What else do you tend to leave?
12:05Sometimes go off on a trip up into the mountains.
12:09Okay, up into the mountains.
12:10Going up the mountain now.
12:11You have to climb up this mountain.
12:14Peaceful.
12:15Away from all of the hubbub of the city life.
12:19Traffic warning days are behind you now.
12:21So that siren there is probably, I think a lot of people know this watching Taskmaster, but they don't fake anything.
12:28So that was genuine, that while I was trying to say to him, you know, all your worries are behind you and everything's peaceful.
12:34But a siren did go past.
12:36So they haven't put that in in post like a lot of shows would do.
12:39They've just let it ride and that was what was happening while I was trying to chill him out.
12:43And it's all a peaceful.
12:45You know, there it goes past and you can see it.
12:48Yeah, but it's, what a show, man.
12:50You're sort of making me feel a bit sad actually, Jeff, to be honest.
12:54Yeah, I can see that.
12:55Might make me smile now.
12:56Does it make you happy to make other people sad?
13:00There's a certain amount in there.
13:01Oh, got it!
13:02Jeff absolutely deserves to win it for stumbling across that.
13:05Because the way he kind of lets her know that she has stumbled across the key to making him laugh.
13:11And it's a much more satisfying way, I think, to solve the task than what I did.
13:16It's great.
13:17Should we do a little bit of role play?
13:20Ah, where's my car?
13:22In the police town.
13:23Why?
13:24You don't see the sign, no waiting, including disabled.
13:27Where's, I need my car, I've got to go to the footy.
13:30£825 and go and get it back.
13:32You're enjoying this?
13:33Yep.
13:33You can tell he's done that a billion times.
13:38The way that he, I mean, obviously he just rolls off the tongue telling her where her car is and like, absolute that.
13:44And when he goes, yep, at the end, you can tell that's what he said.
13:47So, so many people have said to him, you're enjoying this, aren't you?
13:49And he's going, yeah.
13:51And that is what he says every time.
13:52And he loves it.
13:54Put your head on that pillow there, Jeff.
13:56I'm just not behaving myself now.
13:58Now, now I've decided it's funny to put them in bed together.
14:01I love you both.
14:02And, er...
14:03Dream sweet dreams.
14:08Blaseless.
14:09But hey, get rid of this.
14:12He laughs!
14:14He laughs at the end, being tucked up in bed with Alex.
14:17So that's pretty good.
14:20I mean, what I've got, what I've got to say is, it doesn't matter what you think about what you saw there,
14:25and the madness that Acasta brought to that task,
14:28that smile on little Jeff's face at the end was genuine when he was in bed with his wife.
14:34I think I did give Jeff a genuinely nice time.
14:37I think so.
14:38I think he would say that.
14:40Can we get him in?
14:41I feel like that should have been factored into it, really.
14:44We should have got genuine feedback from Jeff to say, like, how happy he was with everyone.
14:50Because that one, it was just down to Greg to say if we'd cheered him up or not.
14:55I think you need, like, to be a proper empath for that.
15:00But Greg Davis is not, doesn't really have that quality to him.
15:04He's many things, but he's not empathetic.
15:06I think so.
15:14Hello, James.
15:16Ignored him.
15:17Now, happy with that.
15:20Wasn't planned.
15:22Well, I think everyone who's done Taskmaster will tell you that on their way here on day one,
15:25they're thinking, how am I going to approach it, you know, and be funny?
15:31And we're all thinking that in our heads, and we're going, I'll do this, I'll try and do this.
15:35And my main advice to anyone who's doing it always says, I'm doing Taskmaster, what's your advice?
15:43It's like, just don't make any plans.
15:45Because I think everything I'd planned on the way there I didn't do,
15:48and then you end up just, like, in the moment, not saying hello to him.
15:53And then you go, oh, yeah, I'm going to do that every single time.
15:56But, you know, I think on our series, Philip planned that he was going to do a vendetta against me for the whole thing,
16:01and then he forgot about that.
16:03And he did it in his first task and then didn't do it again.
16:06And then he had to explain that in the studio and go, like, yeah, the reason I slagged James off there
16:10was because I was going to do that for the whole thing and obviously don't do it
16:12because you're genuinely just forced to be yourself.
16:15So ignoring Alex is not, it was not a planned joke and it was not, it was just genuine.
16:23I didn't want to say hello to him every time.
16:25I just thought it was a waste of time.
16:26Put exactly 50 different things in this bin.
16:30Fastest wins.
16:30It's my favourite type of task.
16:32I've put exactly 50 different things.
16:34Is when they tell you to do something and you don't know it's actually leading to something else.
16:39Fastest wins.
16:43That was a wind-up, get used to that.
16:44Yeah, so there's me saying, get used to that because it's day one.
16:50And I'm thinking, I'm going to wind him up all series.
16:53Actually, he's going to do that.
16:53It's going to be the opposite.
16:55I've started the clock one at a time.
16:58And I didn't, I was initially not happy with my approach to it, which what I do is just,
17:05I put two ukuleles in there, I believe, or three.
17:09I just put loads of stones in there.
17:11It's quite a good approach, but it's not very entertaining, is it?
17:16Seeing someone put a bunch of pebbles into a wheelie bin, you know, and also I don't know that that's not necessarily going to help me out later on.
17:28Sometimes Alex sits there and looks, like, annoyed that what is happening in front of him is so boring, as if that's not his fault.
17:45Quite satisfying to tell people to suck it.
17:55I grew up in the age of, like, with, like, WWF, of, like, those, you know, D-Generation X and stuff, telling people to suck it.
18:03It was, I loved it as a kid.
18:05I loved the fact that they told people to suck it.
18:06And that would just be how I felt sometimes when I did a task.
18:10I put exactly 50 different, different things.
18:13I don't know if I argue this in a second, but every stone's different, right?
18:21Is that what I'm going to say?
18:22Do you want to explain suck it?
18:24Oh, okay, that's what he's picking up on.
18:25So luckily there, I could have been penalised on the stones, not all being different, but instead he kind of really locks in on suck it.
18:34But also what I'm noticing it, so they ask you what you want to wear in the studio.
18:39At the time, I had no clothes that I liked whatsoever.
18:42And so I decided, I went online and I literally selected a bunch of stuff that I would never wear that I thought would be funny to wear on the show.
18:50This top I've got on now, I have never worn before or since.
18:54I am just wearing it for the show because I think it's funny to wear that.
18:59Obviously, it's not, no one's ever found it funny.
19:01I think people have only ever watched it and gone, oh, that top doesn't really suit him or whatever.
19:08But I've since noticed on the show quite a few times other people doing this kind of stuff, not because of me, but because that's what the situation you end up in when they say, do you want to come on?
19:20Let us know what you want to wear in the studio.
19:22And I've noticed some people, and I go, they're wearing that to amuse themselves.
19:27Kyle pops into my head, especially.
19:31James wins the first part of the task and gets five points.
19:34Incredibly.
19:35Yeah, totally.
19:38So I got five for that first bit.
19:40I have no memory of that.
19:41Because the reason I've chosen this task is for what happens next.
19:44So I didn't really, yeah, this first bit, didn't know that I got five points for that.
19:48That's nice.
19:49And obviously, at this point, I know what happens next.
19:55That's one of the nicest things.
19:57I don't know.
19:58Maybe this works against some people.
20:01But it's nice knowing what you've done in a task and be sitting there going.
20:07And I was really excited about this one.
20:08Using all the items on this mat.
20:11Make the best picture of the taskmaster.
20:14You have ten minutes.
20:15Your time starts now.
20:17You want me to do a picture of the escaped Easter Island monument that you call the taskmaster?
20:23Oh, shit.
20:27I should have gone with something more apparent than this.
20:30Your time starts.
20:32So I'm gutted at this point.
20:34So I've got one ukulele, apparently, and a load of rocks.
20:40Which is like, does not look like Greg in any way as it is.
20:44And I've got to somehow make that look like Greg.
20:46This is day one of being in this house.
20:48I think I've done the task where we've got to put all the coins in a little pot,
20:56in a thing of water and not sink.
20:57I've fucked that.
21:00No.
21:01Ah!
21:03Day one was one disaster and one absolute rip-roaring success
21:08when I felt like I was flying on golden air.
21:12And that's what this is.
21:14Well, I've got lots of red for the mouth.
21:16Okay.
21:17These are going to be eyebrows.
21:18He's quite frowning, isn't he?
21:19He's got one of those.
21:20Has he got one of those bum chins?
21:22Can I break this?
21:24Do I have you on?
21:29That is.
21:30Now, it doesn't look it, especially where I paused it there.
21:33But this is my smartest.
21:35This is the smartest I've ever been on any TV show.
21:37It's when I realised that I could break the ukulele.
21:41It's the only eureka moment I have throughout the whole series.
21:45Um, but yeah, it's not the vision there of me snapping.
21:51It doesn't, you wouldn't think that's a clever moment.
21:53I wasn't often very, and I know people will think this isn't true,
21:56but I wasn't actually very competitive on the show, really.
21:58I didn't, you know.
22:00But on this one, I definitely wanted to win it because I knew what I'd done.
22:03So I was sitting there hoping when it would flash to their ones, I hope these are shit.
22:09Now we get to see Jess and Phil's masterpiece.
22:12Yeah, being safe till last here.
22:14So I'm feeling good.
22:16I'm sitting there at this point being like, good, I'm being safe till last.
22:19These two come up, brilliant, I've won.
22:22I know I've won the task at this point because look at that awful.
22:27I know that's bad.
22:29I know Jess's is bad.
22:30And I was very concerned about Jess's because I was thinking she's going to use all those things to paint an actual picture.
22:34But she didn't.
22:36More to the point, there's paint.
22:39So I could have, like, used the paint.
22:41Oh, yeah.
22:46I love it.
22:46Look at how happy I am at the end.
22:48Not very becoming.
22:50Just use them as the top of my head.
22:52Really happy that Jess has fucked up.
22:55We've secured last place, but let's have a look.
22:57Okay.
22:58Okay, finally, this is what James Aiken...
22:59Look at that face.
23:01Pause on that.
23:01That's a guy who knows he's going to win and is trying to look, trying to hold my cards close to the vest there.
23:07But I'm like, on the day I was walking around this house, just openly saying to the crew, how good a job I've done at this picture.
23:17Well, he transformed that into these.
23:19What doesn't come across as well is the ukulele strings I've used for his hair.
23:32That, I think, for me, was like, I was so proud of that, because I was like, that, you don't realise how much Greg Davies' hair looks like the strings of a ukulele, the severed strings of a ukulele, until you do pluck some strings off of a ukulele and put them on top of what is meant to be his head.
23:49And then you're like, that's exactly how his hair...
23:51You know when, like, people draw cartoon characters, and they just draw single lines for hair like that?
23:56No one has that, apart from Greg, actually, that is how his hair is.
24:00What I think is delightful and incredible is that you have managed to show the fear in Alex's face.
24:06I'm so pleased with myself there. Couldn't be more pleased.
24:12And it was on day one, which meant that for the rest of the series, filming tasks, I was like, you've got that.
24:18You've got that picture.
24:20So you're not going to look completely useless.
24:22You've got that.
24:24Sometimes, when it was a creative one, I would think, I think I've won this, but he might screw me over.
24:29With this, I knew that no matter what, I'm winning it.
24:33Because sometimes, you know, you just put out a bit of art and it's subjective like all art is.
24:40And other times, you do Sgt. Pepper.
24:49Greatest task ever.
24:51Episode 10 was my favourite episode.
24:54Me and the Taskmaster.
24:55It's just nice to kind of like...
24:57The scent of pastry.
24:59Have a jolly on the last one.
25:01It was great walking into this room and seeing this computer game.
25:04That's me.
25:05Select.
25:07And getting to play this computer game was very, very cool.
25:10Where am I going?
25:12Oh, wow.
25:13I would like a full version of this game.
25:16If they can.
25:18It is like...
25:19Okay.
25:21I guess you just do every series.
25:23Come find the task on the table.
25:25Oh, my God.
25:27Oh, that better not be who I think it is.
25:29Well, obviously, any opportunity to ever dig at him.
25:32So, I just...
25:33Hey!
25:34Physically recreate a classic computer game.
25:37Best recreation wins.
25:39You have one hour.
25:40I'm way out of my depth here.
25:42Yeah.
25:43Time starts now.
25:44I don't want to mess this up.
25:46Because it's a dream come true.
25:48Yeah, I echo those sentiments from Jess.
25:52Absolutely.
25:52As soon as you go, I'll get to do this.
25:55You are like, I really want to do this well.
25:58Otherwise, it's going to be a massive missed opportunity.
26:00It's such a cool task to get.
26:02And everyone nails it.
26:04Which is like, this whole task is this, like, my favourite from the whole series.
26:08Because everyone just does such an incredible job.
26:11And, you know, we all just forget about, you know, the rest of the show.
26:17It's just...
26:17You're just genuinely excited to see everyone's next one.
26:20So, like, Jess had done Mario Kart.
26:23It was brilliant.
26:28Fulher done GoldenEye.
26:30It's great.
26:34Heria got annoyed at Tetris.
26:36Oh, no, that's not fair.
26:38That's great.
26:38Not at all.
26:39It's working.
26:40Oh, no.
26:42And Rod had done an amazing Space Invaders one.
26:46We had thrown tennis balls in people's plums.
26:49Oh!
26:50Look at the noises going.
26:52Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.
26:54So, like, just at this point, I'm just glad that I get to show my one.
27:00And, like, and also I had no other video game in my head.
27:05As soon as they said, do you want to do one?
27:07I was like, I want to do Grand Theft Auto.
27:10There was nothing else that came into my mind.
27:12I think in my head, this is who I am 24-7 is this character.
27:20Come in.
27:22Come in.
27:22Come in.
27:26Of course, any excuse to beat up Alex.
27:46And he's going down that hill.
27:48By the way, that hill's quite steep.
27:49It's, you know, that features in a lot of episodes.
27:52So, everyone knows how steep that is.
27:53He is gunning it down that hill.
27:56And if I hadn't stopped him, would have got hurt.
27:59Come in.
28:00I mean, there's countless opportunities to shout out the amazing team who made this show.
28:08But, obviously, on the day, I'm just doing all of this stuff.
28:13I don't know how accurately they're going to do everything.
28:16And the amount of detail in this, like, the weapon select and stuff, and it goes on a shoe.
28:22So, that wasn't me saying, you should do this.
28:26So, you know, most of this task is probably other people doing it.
28:30And I'm just running around in a shirt, pretending to beat Alex up.
28:36Singing my music song.
28:39And then here comes Alex again.
28:43What are we selecting?
28:44A baseball bat?
28:46Beat him with that.
28:47What other show lets you do that?
28:49And then I want to beat him up with a baseball bat.
28:52Yeah, fine.
28:54Stump bonus.
28:55Stump bonus.
28:56These are really good stunt bonuses.
28:58I'm not...
28:58I don't usually cycle, so that's pretty good.
29:02Cameo from Ollie.
29:04Yeah, now the duck thing is...
29:07We did a whole thing, a whole scene, like in GTA, where someone gives you the mission.
29:14So, it was Alex telling me, he's lost his duck, and I've got to go and find this duck.
29:21And it was like, get out there and get my duck, and all of this.
29:23It was a whole thing.
29:24And obviously, there wasn't enough time for that in the edit, clearly.
29:27So, I'm just kind of grabbing a duck, and there's no reason for it.
29:30No one's ever picked me up on it.
29:31It was never a question mark.
29:33And considering, you know, the audience who watch this show are very, you know, detail-orientated,
29:37and they want explanations for everything.
29:40So, I'm surprised this has never come back at me.
29:42And no one's ever gone, why do you pick a duck up, and why is that so important for you when you're playing the game?
29:48But it was because I was meant to rescue Alex's duck.
29:51Oh, no.
29:52It's the cops.
29:53This siren was put in post.
29:55No.
29:55I'm really excited about doing this wasted bit as well.
30:00And again, they just nail it.
30:02I think they had a camera, like a GoPro on a rod.
30:05Not Rod Gilbert.
30:06And they were able to just, like, lift it up like that.
30:09And they make it look exactly like it does in the game.
30:12It's like, it is mad.
30:14And obviously, you don't see it on the day.
30:16So, I'm just really hoping that this looks like GTA.
30:20And, you know, I mean, most crews would not do even half as good a job at this.
30:29There is a man who has played a lot of Grand Theft Auto.
30:32Yeah, but also, I think, Andy Devidge has played a lot of Grand Theft Auto.
30:36In an hour.
30:37Yeah, all done within an hour.
30:38They weren't real guns.
30:39No, no, no, I gather.
30:41We made them up with cardboard, but they looked real, didn't they?
30:43And I just wanted to beat Alex up in as many ways as possible.
30:47Yeah, well, everyone wants that.
30:48Absolutely my favourite moment of the whole series.
30:52Watching everyone's tasks and also, yeah, being proud of my own one as well.
30:58Perfect.
31:00Yeah, I've not chosen any team tasks.
31:03That one would have been, if I was to choose a team task,
31:07I would choose, when we did the soap opera there, we did Feelings.
31:14Everybody's got feelings.
31:16Feelings hurt and feel good.
31:18Everybody's got feelings.
31:21Feelings hurt and feel good.
31:27I've got on record many times, including on the show, about what team task day was like.
31:31And it's, you know, it's tough now because Rod is, you know, Rod is now an inspirational figure.
31:40He wasn't back then.
31:41But since, you know, he's now, you know, he's now beat cancer.
31:45So, it's hard to just slag him off on stuff.
31:49But, you know, he was a nightmare.
31:53He was an absolute nightmare.
31:54So, we did five tasks in a day.
31:56And as you do them all, the team tasks in one day.
32:00And as it progressed, I'd say his ability to hold attention on the tasks and not just go off and do his own thing got less and less.
32:13And it was impossible.
32:15When I saw in the studio certain things he did, like I wasn't aware on the day that when we were building an extension, he'd stumbled across this cave of equipment that we could have used to make it good.
32:28And he just shut it and did his own thing anyway.
32:35Didn't know that he did that.
32:37Look, if I was to do Taskmaster again, I wouldn't have it any other way.
32:42I'd want to be on it with Rod Gilbert.
32:43I'd want to be on a team with Rod Gilbert.
32:45You need your own personal antagonist.
32:49And he was absolutely that.
32:51And I still love him to this day.
32:54Loved him going into the series.
32:55Loved him coming out of it.
32:58Walk over and hit that drum in exactly 9.58 seconds.
33:09Also, there are two bonus points for the person with the most magnificent walk.
33:16James, you're first.
33:17We're going left to right.
33:19Come on, James.
33:20Does anyone have any questions?
33:21Obviously, I've chosen this not for my own.
33:24Oh, you don't need to walk blindfolded.
33:25Rolling it.
33:26I don't care.
33:28It's, uh...
33:30Okay, Craig, are you ready for the first?
33:34Fully of that what happens to Jess.
33:355.58 seconds.
33:37On my whistle.
33:38Here we go.
33:41Yeah.
33:42So this is whatever.
33:43Uh...
33:44I've worn all the rings.
33:46I thought it was funny.
33:46I think that maybe...
33:48I got razzed a little bit for it.
33:50And that is...
33:52Hitting that drum there, you can tell I'm actually a drummer.
33:55That is not far away from your normal walk.
33:57Yeah, he's right there.
34:00Next to walk is Jessica Knacken.
34:01So here we go.
34:02One of the best moments of all time in television.
34:05Um...
34:06It's so embarrassing.
34:09She's...
34:09She's really going...
34:12She's doing so much.
34:13And she does the fake fall.
34:15And then...
34:16There we go.
34:19Grace checking if she's alright there.
34:20I bet he asked for that to go in the edit.
34:22When I check that she's okay and I say to her,
34:25you're alright, make sure you put that in.
34:26So that everyone knows how much of a caring guy I am.
34:29Look at us all.
34:35Now...
34:36We're all sitting there.
34:38It's an amazing...
34:41I can't really describe it.
34:43It's an amazing feeling to be sat there with a blindfold on.
34:47And hear that.
34:49And no one is saying that she's fallen off the stage.
34:52But we're all pretty sure Jess has just fallen off the stage.
34:57And we don't know how bad it is.
35:00To what degree it's happened.
35:01When we hear the drum get hit at the end.
35:03I think we're pretty pleased to the...
35:05Well, you know, she's clearly not completely incapacitated.
35:08I didn't see what it looked like until it went out on TV.
35:11So I actually didn't know for ages what had happened.
35:13But I knew Jess had fallen off the stage.
35:15And I loved that I just got to hear it.
35:19And just sit there listening.
35:19And that there were three other people with me.
35:22When Greg had rushed to help Jess, he accidentally cupped her boob.
35:27And that was made a big deal of by Jess and by Greg.
35:32It was quite awkward for both of them.
35:34It was accidental.
35:36And just made an already mortifying situation even worse.
35:40But instead, he's clearly had a word with the people who edit this.
35:46And said, take out that bit where I accidentally feel her up.
35:50And instead, put in the bit where I mime, are you all right?
35:53And I look like a really great guy.
35:56Greg said, Greg mimes, are you okay?
35:58Are you all right?
35:59What was my response?
36:00She was like, yeah, I fell off.
36:04And I was like, oh, God.
36:05But I don't remember what else she said.
36:07But I think she definitely said, I really milked it as well.
36:10I was milking it.
36:12I was doing the whole walk.
36:13I was like really milking the, oh, am I going to fall?
36:16And then I actually fell.
36:17And now that's called the nappet.
36:19That little runway.
36:22The fact that Jess has an actual permanent feature of Taskmaster named after her, I wish I'd fallen off.
36:30I imagine that now, whenever they do stuff involving people walking down the nappet, they do put some sort of crash mat down on the floor.
36:37There's some health and safety that comes into it.
36:40There wasn't any at this point.
36:41That was just the solid floor, the ground that Jess fell on.
36:46And that thing is not, that's tall, it's high up.
36:49So, you know, I'll let Jess, when Jess does over one of these, I'm sure, she can say exactly what injuries she sustained from that.
36:59Please scream your thoraxes apart for James Acaster.
37:04That was my ultimate episode.
37:07I think it's pretty good.
37:09You can watch all of Series 7 on YouTube, apparently.
37:14Which, you know, a bit gutting to discover that.
37:19When I did it, it was on telly.
37:21It was going out on TV.
37:22But now you can just watch it on the same thing you're watching this on.
37:26So, like, I guess it didn't do as well as I thought it did.
37:31Now we're a YouTube show.
37:34So you can watch it on YouTube.
37:37And then probably eventually you can just, you know, just come free with your phone when you get a phone.
37:43And it'll just be all the Series 7 of Taskmaster.
37:45And you can, you have to delete it to make room for the stuff you really want to see.
37:51Have a good Christmas if you celebrate it.
37:54If you don't, I'm jealous of you.
37:56I imagine you have quite a stress-free December.
38:00For more Taskmaster, subscribe now.
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