Family Guy - Season 23 Episode 16 Row v. Wade
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
#EnglishMovie #cdrama #drama #engsub #chinesedramaengsub #movieshortfull
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00:01It seems today that all you see
00:05Is violence in movies and sex on TV
00:08But where are those good old-fashioned values
00:12On which we used to rely?
00:15Lucky is a family guy
00:18Lucky is a man who can do
00:21All the things that make us laugh and cry
00:25He's a family guy
00:34Stewie Griffin, come on down
00:43You're the next contestant on The Price is Right
00:48Turn that show off
00:49Well, what's your problem, bud? You got a problem with right?
00:52First of all, nobody calls it that
00:53Second of all, yes, I have a problem with The Price is Right
00:56For 35 years, the host of that show told everyone to cut our marbles off
01:00Barker my ass
01:02Come on, Bri, Drew Carey is the host now
01:04And he bought the writers lunch during the strike
01:06So we're not gonna tell jokes about him, per se
01:08So we're not gonna talk about his weight?
01:10Nope
01:11How about that he seems constitutionally unable to open his eyes fully?
01:13That, too, is off-limits
01:15So then we won't say that he looks like SNL motivational speaker Matt Foley
01:18Who started Ozempic and then gave up?
01:20Nope, not on this program
01:22The Price is Right is coming to New York
01:25Visit our website for more information on how to be a contestant
01:28Brian, did you hear that?
01:29Let's go!
01:30What? No way
01:31Come on, we could be there and back in a day
01:34I didn't ask you because you said you hate New York
01:37His mom's got COVID so he's a little on edge
01:39Oh, it's like the most mild case
01:41Anyway, New York
01:42Since the beer's expired, I need you to sign this waiver saying that if anything happens, it's not my fault
01:52I'm just gonna write Peter
01:54I don't know how to do an autograph yet
01:58Oh man, this is awesome
02:00We're gonna get so trashed tonight
02:01Yeah, let's rip it up
02:03Nothing hits the spot like a warm dust-covered can of beer
02:08Alright, Cleveland, you can do it
02:11You can tell them that you promised your wife you're not drinking this month
02:14They're your friends and they'll respect your decision to honor a marital request
02:18And if not, you're a grown man and don't need their approval anyway
02:22Beer?
02:23Hell yeah!
02:24Hard alcohol was the main problem anyway
02:26You'll at least take a month off from that
02:28Shots?
02:29I'm down
02:40What are you wearing that for?
02:41Ups my chances of getting on the stage
02:43They love military people
02:45Thank you so much for your service
02:47Oh yeah, you bet
02:48Semper Fi
02:49Okay
02:50Look at all these slobs trying to get free crap
02:53I don't feel bad for tricking those people
02:55They can get on another show
02:56Like Very Greased Wheel of Fortune
02:58Alright, David, you're up
03:07Keep clapping
03:21Hello?
03:23Non-stop providence to Charlotte?
03:25Uh, yeah, tell traffic control I'll be there
03:28Hey, can you send a car? I don't think I can drive
03:32God, I must have passed out
03:34Hey, you've got some kind of drawing on your face
03:38Is it a dong? Quagmire always fricking dongs me
03:42Oh, it's like a hand twirling a fancy mustache
03:44Wait, don't rub that off!
03:46Peter, I think that might be a Banksy
03:48A what?
03:49A Banksy! He's this world famous artist that keeps his identity a secret
03:53Why would he do that?
03:55Cause you know how whenever you see a famous modern artist walking down the street you're like
03:59Hey, there's that famous modern artist and I got all types of inquiries about modern art
04:03Banksy's just a regular guy, his wife puts his pants on one leg at a time just like you and me
04:08Well, I better get home, wash this thing off my face
04:11Don't wash it off, it's probably worth a lot of money
04:14Cleveland Brown, you get your butt home right now!
04:17Donna, I think somebody spiked my old doors
04:20I can't believe we're actually here
04:29Hey, hey, what do you think the caption should be?
04:31So this happened
04:33Or scorching it
04:35Yeah, scorching it is kind of Joe's thing
04:37That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard
04:39Like I sit around and try to copy Joe
04:41You got rip it up from Joe
04:42I did get rip it up from Joe
04:44Is he a gigantic influence on me? Do I love Joe?
04:47God, look at all these shrieking idiots
04:49How empty are their lives if this gets them that excited?
04:52Our next contestant on The Price is Right is
04:54Brian Griffin!
04:56Come on down!
04:57Ah! It's me! It's me!
04:59What the hell?
05:00I served in Iraq or whatever
05:02That's me! They call my name!
05:03Zoomies!
05:09Joke's on him, he won't know any of this stuff
05:11Okay, welcome up, Brian
05:13George, tell us about our next item up for bids
05:16It's a brand new day bed for the modern writer dog
05:20Cut his marbles off, Drew!
05:22Mary, why don't you get us started?
05:24Uh, I've never heard of such a thing
05:26I don't know, um, $6,000?
05:29I too have never heard of such a thing
05:31$12?
05:33$6,001
05:36$289.99, Drew
05:38Actual retail price?
05:41$289.99
05:43Brian, you're the winner!
05:46An exact bid!
05:48Brian's a legend!
05:49Oh, I'm back on board!
05:50That means, Brian, you'll be in today's Showcase Showdown!
05:56I'm jealous Stewie is back
05:58Is it weird watching this show while you're not ironing, you wretched hag?
06:02Sorry, I'm mad about something else
06:04Brian, the actual retail price of your Showcase is $29,232
06:13That means, Brian Griffin, you've won today's Showcase Showdown!
06:16I want to vote!
06:18Congratulations, Brian!
06:19Anyone you want to say hi to out there?
06:21There sure is!
06:22I want to say hi to my best bud, Stewie!
06:24Aww!
06:25Stewie Grimaldi!
06:26What?
06:27Hey Ma!
06:28Brian just mentioned me!
06:29What's he want to mention you for?
06:31Ma!
06:32Ha!
06:38Look at this guy, scorching it!
06:40She's a beaut, Brian!
06:41What kind of fuel are you putting in this puppy?
06:43Um...
06:44Boat fuel?
06:45Yep, that's just about my knowledge of boats, too
06:48Got a lot of great memories on boats
06:51Would you like to hear about each one, Brian?
06:54Oh, you know, I would, but I...
06:55It's just...
06:56I got a lot of boat stuff I gotta do
06:58Oh, sure, yeah, sure, sure, yeah, I bet
07:01Cleaning ladies at the house, and I'm not sure what to do
07:09That should've been my boat!
07:11Fine, Rupert, I feel that should've been my boat
07:14See, I can weaponize therapy, too!
07:16Good evening, our top story, attractive field reporter returns from maternity leave
07:25Let's see if she snapped back
07:26Thanks, Tom
07:27Tensions rise on the Senate floor as...
07:29Not bad
07:30Not great, but not bad
07:31In other news, Quahog resident Peter Griffin awoke to find an original Banksy drawn onto his face
07:37The artist shared a photo of the piece on his Instagram this morning claiming authorship
07:41What was your reaction when you found out it was a Banksy?
07:44Well, in my day graffiti wasn't street art, it was a crime, and he's lawless thugs
07:49This isn't the Fox News interview
07:51Oh, well, then I thought it was neat
07:53Art is important and I like pictures
07:55Peter Griffin?
07:57Yeah?
07:58I'm the curator for the Quahog Urban Museum
08:01Oh, I love the cum
08:04Thank you, we always enjoy hearing that
08:06Listen, it's not often that a museum gets to display a Banksy
08:09We'd love for you to come be an exhibit at the museum
08:12Wow, me?
08:13At a museum?
08:14Free lunches?
08:15Tons of chicks?
08:16An assistant to fetch the lunches and bring the chick-tons?
08:19We'll be in touch with all the details, good day
08:22Why didn't you introduce us to him?
08:24Chris, bite your strap
08:25Peter, are you sure about this museum business?
08:32What about your job?
08:33I know this is hard, Lois, but this is what we've always talked about since this morning
08:37But, Peter
08:38Look, Lois, I'm never gonna be able to say this right
08:40But you know who will? Coach Taylor from Friday Night Lights
08:44Lois, let me tell you something
08:46I am clearly the worst first half coach in the history of high school football
08:50And that enables me to make halftime speeches like this
08:53Now, Lois, this ain't just about football
08:56Peter's not the brightest, and he ain't the best looking
08:59Heck, I don't even know how he gets his shoes on in the morning
09:02But a guy drew on his face, and that means something
09:05Now, let's get out there and show this tiny Texas town what big city modern art is all about
09:11Let's go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
09:13Gentlemen, you are all here because you want to get your boat license
09:24By the end of this course, you will be able to take a sip from a Bud Light can with one hand
09:29And push a lever forward with the other
09:32Between the can and the lever, how are we supposed to smoke a cigarette?
09:35Sir, it's a three hour course, let's not get ahead of ourselves
09:38Now, let's do a little role playing
09:40Brian, come on up here
09:42Now, pretend I'm the Coast Guard and I've just flagged you down
09:45Sir, how many drinks have you had today?
09:47Uh, I don't know, one or two?
09:49Well, we got a pro here
09:51You see what Brian did there?
09:53He kept his cool, avoided eye contact, and he lied
09:57Great job, Brian
09:59Now, let's see here
10:00I'm assuming you've all had your mandatory three-way
10:03Da-da-da, tank tops are optional
10:05Welp, that's it
10:06Yeah!
10:07Just make sure y'all download Rascal Flat's Greatest Hits
10:11And I will see you out on the water
10:20Okay
10:24Morning, everyone
10:25Oh, look at this
10:26The family all gathered round the galley
10:28Okay
10:31Anyone happen to catch the dew point this morning?
10:33It's super important that I know that now
10:35A pal of mine up in Gloucester says they were seeing three foot swells
10:39I tell you, that'll make you blow your groceries boy
10:46So, you're digging the boat life, huh?
10:48You ever gonna get this thing on the water?
10:54this thing on the water on the water i love i love how you land walkers talk about big blue
10:59you know i've got to say you changed your attitude pretty quickly about this boat
11:03what do you mean well you don't remember knocking the prices right as a consumerist ploy targeting
11:07the idiot minds of america nah brah i've just been chilling you are such a hypocrite you pretend to
11:13have a social conscience but in the end you're just an opportunistic piece of crap oh yeah would
11:17an opportunistic piece of crap call his boat this well you're totally just virtue signaling you put
11:25a pun on the back of a boat and suddenly you're an ally to women everywhere and what are you doing
11:29for humanity today you really are the worst kind of person brian yeah except a person you work with
11:35that just had surgery ah you looked at it now we have to talk about it
11:47and of course the last stop on the tour is our newest exhibit the banksy as you can see the
11:57beauty of the image juxtaposed against the grotesque body is representative of the incoherence of art
12:04itself is the charleston chew in his pocket part of the art no he shouldn't have that
12:10all right guys no more orgasm sounds when you see naked paintings let's try to focus on the
12:17brush strokes oh my god this is so embarrassing it's fine chris a lot of kids your age have
12:23visible panty lines no vpl is part of my ensemble i'm talking about my dad dad do you have to be
12:31here can't you go to the bathroom or something now if i gotta go they put a black tent over me like if
12:36they gotta shoot a horse is everything all right over here yeah i'm just talking to my son oh i thought
12:42it was a big woman from behind excuse me listen there's been a lot of interest in the piece from
12:48private investors i'm chris by the way would you ever consider going up for auction well how would
12:53that even work well the winner would have you go and exist as part of their private collection
12:57you would be sort of a living art there would be a lot of money in it for you i've seen these
13:04things go for millions millions huh yeah with that kind of dough i could finally be my own boss
13:09oh god the boss is coming hey peter i see you're wearing the pants i gave you yeah good good good
13:17good good good just so you know you're doing all the right things hey peter i see you're wearing the
13:24pants i gave you good good good good good good all right so what's this all about now you called me
13:34out so now i'm gonna show you that i'm not just all talk what are you saying i'm saying i'm gonna
13:40take the roe v wade to texas and bring back women who want to safely have abortions well that's great
13:45brian or maybe even popeye will help us sail down there hey life begins at conception
13:51not a choice it's a child okay i guess no popeye
13:55wait a minute brian this is insane you really think you're going to rescue women who want to
14:05have abortions well women are girls it is texas all right i've got to see what a disaster this becomes
14:11i'm going with you plus it's supposed to be 75 today and i could use some color so you just assume
14:16this is going to be a disaster huh how come you never root for me to succeed because we're very
14:21good friends brian now come on buddy let's go see your thing turn to crud
14:25peter you are not gonna auction yourself off whatever that means don't you see lois this is it
14:34our meal ticket peter no we need a present and attentive father for chris megan stewie who i'm
14:40sure is in the house here somewhere or at the very least certainly on dry land look i'm sure wherever
14:45i go you guys can come visit maybe even live dear i will think of you every day when i'm hanging
14:50on the wall of that probably arab peter i i like our life and frankly i want to see it go back to
14:57the way it was before this stupid painting stupid painting oh yes so sad what you've always been
15:04jealous of my success what success something happened to you and very recently i see what's
15:10going on this is because i had an emotional affair with my trainer peter i'm the one who had an emotional
15:15affair with my trainer you had a traumatic response and pretended it was you and you'll never forgive
15:20me for it will you
15:21all right time to find us some preggos that quote's going on the statue of you pregnant abortion need an
15:35abortion i'm sorry what did you say i'm offering safe refuge for anyone who wants an abortion
15:40oh my god i thought you said astros suck yeah sure i'll take an abortion awesome do you know any
15:48other pregnant women who don't want to have a baby oh sure lots i'll go get them great just meet us
15:53here oh here comes a sad oil-covered bird are you all here for the dawn dish soap commercial uh no
16:00oh well i'll be on my way then flap flap flap flap flap
16:07very small food do you have anything smaller i'm very rich all right the next item up for bid is
16:18a change perhaps by banksy hey why does he have a charleston shoe you said we're not supposed to have
16:26why don't we start the bidding at one million dollars okay one million to james bottom tooth
16:33oh i'm sorry 1.5 million i have 1.5 do i hear 2 2 2 million 2 and a half 2.5 3 3 million going once
16:47going twice
16:47so
16:49you're not going anywhere if i have to live out this miserable life i'm not doing it alone
17:10it's ruined she's ruined the banksy arrest this woman wait banksy just posted something to his
17:18instagram
17:19don't you see this is the art us all of this banksy knew that this would happen yes he knew this man
17:32would abandon his family for the highest price brilliant it's a comment on capitalism as a
17:37dividing force in marital relationships i've actually got an art boner right now only happened
17:44one other time really no follow-up questions art boner story going once going twice
17:52all you people are no fun wait am i still worth anything i suppose if someone wanted to pay for you
17:59yes stop breathing so loud i can't hear what ncis is saying i don't think his name is ncis shut up art
18:07i didn't think about what it would be like to be on the ocean with 12 pregnant women
18:15still waiting on that tomato juice right yes i'm on it i'm very sensitive to smells could you turn
18:24that off the the ocean yeah i'll see what i can do my lord how did they get pregnant in the first
18:31place give me a sec i gotta ask lois to look up where the abortion clinics are in quahog
18:35hello meg is your mom there i need to ask her something no dad got sold as a piece of art to
18:42grandpa so she's over there dealing with that oh peter got sold as a piece of art this week okay so
18:48we're definitely the a story listen stewie and i are on the roe v wade smuggling pregnant women from
18:53texas to get abortions in rhode island oh brian and stewie are bringing pregnant women back from
18:58texas to get abortions oh then our babysitting business is definitely the a story can you look
19:04up where all the abortion clinics are oh i got you there's two or three on route six one on westbridge
19:09and there's one in smithfield that has a great nespresso machine you could try the bargain boards but
19:15the bathrooms are gross great thank you meg oh by the way brian you got a call from the irs
19:20apparently you owe forty thousand dollars in taxes on the boat what yeah game show prizes have to be
19:26declared as income this unknown rule has destroyed a lot of middle american lives all right thanks
19:32where the hell am i gonna get forty thousand dollars you want me to start dancing again hey
19:37get stewie back up on the poo what no that would never be a thought that would enter into my mind
19:41could have said thanks for the offer you know there's a law in texas that if you turn in someone
19:46who's trying to get an abortion they give you ten grand you're an absolute monster what do we got
19:52twelve of them yep we turn in four pay the taxes boat's ours and we've still helped eight women
19:57right what i don't know might be nice to have an extra 10k lying around all right we turn in five help
20:04seven still a pretty great thing we did so who do we turn in i mean gina's been horrible yep gina's gone
20:10you know stacy snapped at me when i asked her to take off her shoes buh-bye sarah told me i have a
20:15girl shirt so i'd rather never see her again good enough for me wait wait a second let's be clear
20:20about what we're doing here we're talking about potentially having taken these women to get
20:24abortions and then turning them in for bounties i mean are we actually the kind of people who would
20:28do something like that leanne shushed me
20:32well i gotta say i'm glad everything's back to normal yeah i just wish i'd close my eyes when
20:43you threw the paint i feel like i'd rather smell than see anyway chris go wash your feet and i think
20:49you and i learned a valuable lesson this week oh yeah never get a boat
20:53and and the bounty thing
20:58you
21:03you
21:07you
21:11you
21:15you
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