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00:00Tonight, on Extra Ruining This Take,
00:03it's Angela Giratata.
00:04Just don't say anything, OK?
00:06We're supposed to be here and be really quiet.
00:08Giving each of our cameras direction, it's Lisa Gilroy.
00:12Camera one, I'm going to need you to zoom in on Sam.
00:14Two, zoom in on Sam.
00:15Three, zoom in on Sam.
00:16Four, zoom in on me, motherfucker.
00:18And five, zoom in on Sam.
00:22And a creepy lantern-holding graveyard keeper,
00:25it's Isabella Rowland.
00:26We're asking about the graveyard.
00:30I've been here 5,000 years.
00:35Whoa!
00:38They're all here to...
00:40Make some noise!
00:53Welcome to Make Some Noise!
00:55The game's so good, we spun it off unchanged.
00:58I am your host, Sam Reich.
00:59Here's how the show works.
01:00I have here a series of improvisational prompts
01:03our players have never seen before.
01:06Isn't that right, Play?
01:08You hosting the show?
01:12I just knew it.
01:15I just knew this is what I was walking into today.
01:18They will, to the best of their ability, fulfill those prompts.
01:20I will award them corresponding points.
01:22And the winner will go home with the coveted golden ear.
01:24Which is hard to get through the TSA because it is solid gold and full of cocaine.
01:30Players, are you ready to rumble?
01:34This is a little mini-game that we like to call Vented Out.
01:37How it works as players, I'm going to ask for you to rant and rave.
01:41When I say stop, you will stop.
01:42When I call upon the next person, they will rant and rave where you left off.
01:47I just want to say it's really brave of you to invite three psycho white girls.
01:52Psycho white girl switcheroo!
01:54I can't tell them apart.
01:58Like a game of, you know.
02:01Anyway.
02:02Let us do the improvising, okay?
02:05Your first topic is being advertised mouth tape.
02:11Izzy, we will start with you.
02:13Mouth tape saved my life, okay?
02:16I didn't really understand that I was breathing bad.
02:21I'm sleeping.
02:23I'm eating.
02:24Stop, Angela.
02:25Shitting.
02:26I'm dancing.
02:28Stop, Lisa.
02:28I'm farting.
02:29I'm pooping.
02:31I'm crying.
02:32And I'm not talking.
02:34At the end of a long day, cuddling up in bed next to my husband saying,
02:37Babe, how was your date?
02:38Let me tell you about mine.
02:39He goes, shh, shh, time for mouth tape.
02:41Stop!
02:41Izzy!
02:42I should be wearing it right now.
02:44But I wanted to come into my bathroom and film a little video
02:46and pretend like I wasn't filming a video
02:48because he said, no more going into the bathroom
02:50and filming your little video.
02:51Stop, Lisa.
02:52And no more going to the fridge and having your bad snack.
02:55I'm not doing any more talking.
02:57I'm not doing any more eating.
02:58And I'm here to tell you that you could do the same with mouth tape.
03:01Extra sticky, and it never comes off until you're dead.
03:05Next up, beginning with Angela, burgers that don't come with sides.
03:10Finally, I can focus on one thing on my plate.
03:13Stop, Lisa.
03:14No ketchup, no lettuce, no mustard, no mayo.
03:17Stop, Izzy.
03:18Too many people are out here having too many side pieces.
03:22There, I said it.
03:23Stop, Angela.
03:24Sorry if I love monogamy.
03:27Stop, Izzy.
03:28Fries are polyamory.
03:32Next up, beginning with Izzy, that we no longer challenge each other to duels.
03:37Did you see that video of the lady in New York interviewing the other lady?
03:43Talking about pro-life, pro-choice.
03:45Punch a motherfucker in the face.
03:47Stop, Angela.
03:48Punch a motherfucker in the face.
03:50Could I get another one, too?
03:51I think, have you seen the clip?
03:56Speaking of that clip, I'll show you another clip of the two wiggles fighting, and I'm like,
04:00oh, it's on Facebook only.
04:02Just one more.
04:03Stop, Izzy.
04:04Hey, hey, excuse me, bartender, excuse me, how old are you?
04:11Guess, guess what?
04:13Because I'm married, but you can kiss me if you want.
04:18Starting with Angela snitching.
04:21Shut the fuck up.
04:22Angela!
04:23Why can't we all just fucking keep it quiet?
04:26Stop, Lisa.
04:27Are you kidding me?
04:29I'm going to roll you down the stairs and into a tomb because your snitching attitude
04:33has made me so ferociously furious.
04:36Stop, Izzy.
04:37Eat shit till you die.
04:40Okay, what did Snoop Dogg say?
04:42Stop, Angela.
04:43What did Snoop Dogg say?
04:45Stop, Lisa.
04:46Does anyone know?
04:46What did Snoop Dogg say?
04:47Stop, Izzy.
04:48Like, was it in Soul Plane?
04:50Or was it Dog House?
04:52Stop, Angela.
04:52Is it just something we've said so many times that we go, who said it originally?
04:56Stop, Lisa.
04:56What is it?
04:57I'll have another one of these, by the way.
04:58Literally, just tell me.
05:00And that is a minigame.
05:02And these are three minigirls.
05:04Minigirl switcheroo.
05:05Woo!
05:07Whoa!
05:10Don't look.
05:15How'd we do it?
05:17It's like the coconut shell game.
05:18The coconut shell game.
05:19This guy's never been to a party and it shows.
05:21Invite me.
05:22I'll come.
05:25That brings us to round one.
05:26Angela.
05:27Hello, sir.
05:28Coach just doesn't have a very inspiring voice.
05:32Come on, guys.
05:37That was amazing.
05:38Incredible.
05:38Oh, my God.
05:39Look.
05:39Hey, hey, hey.
05:40You're b-b-bopping around over there, huh?
05:41Come on now.
05:42We're going to run the ball down the field.
05:44We're going to run the ball down the field.
05:45And then we get those cheese.
05:46Yeah.
05:47No, no.
05:47For real.
05:48For real.
05:48For real.
05:48For real.
05:48This is a Super Bowl.
05:49Super Bowl.
05:50Okay.
05:51Woo.
05:52Woo.
05:53Take the ball and woo.
05:55And it's down the field.
05:56Okay, now.
05:57Why are you guys looking like that?
05:58Oh, I don't know.
06:02Points on three.
06:04One, two, three.
06:04Points.
06:05Lisa.
06:06Oh, God.
06:07What?
06:08I didn't see anything.
06:08A wildlife PSA from the Hawk Tua girl.
06:12All right.
06:12Y'all going to be looking out.
06:14You're going to be looking out for these falcons.
06:15They are there next to things.
06:18They've been flying up through the air.
06:19The mama's been feeding the baby like,
06:21Ha!
06:21Tew!
06:22With a worm down into the baby's throat.
06:25And if anybody interrupts what they're doing over there,
06:27then, you know, you can actually fuck up the cycle of life.
06:30And then those falcons aren't going to be loving so much anymore.
06:32So if I say, hell yeah.
06:33Come on down to Nashville this weekend.
06:35See a falcon.
06:37Damn!
06:38I like that a lot.
06:40Yeah, I think 55 points.
06:41Pump and dumped by her herself.
06:44Nasty.
06:44She ran a bad crypto scam.
06:46I thought you were just being, like, rowdy.
06:48I think it doesn't really mean a sex thing.
06:51Well, you could pump her and then dump her.
06:52Sick, dude.
06:54Izzy.
06:55Izzy.
06:56What you're really doing when you send an I'm on my way text.
07:03How do I get out of this?
07:06Hey.
07:07Hey, Mom, can you, um...
07:09Okay, so I'm going to walk out of my door.
07:11And you're going to call me and say,
07:13You died.
07:15Or no.
07:15And say, um, I'm dead.
07:17Dad's dead.
07:18And, uh, and I'm going to go,
07:20Oh, no.
07:21And what's going to happen is my ring cam is going to get it.
07:24And then I'm going to ghost my friend.
07:26So I don't have to go to lunch with her.
07:28Because she, uh, just got this new job in Culver City.
07:31And...
07:31Can't stop talking about it.
07:34Honey.
07:35Honey.
07:35Yeah.
07:36Can I tell you something?
07:37What?
07:37Daddy is dead.
07:38That is perfect.
07:41Just like that.
07:44Ten points that are just looking for parking.
07:47Which brings us back for the last time in round one to Angela.
07:52Uh-huh.
07:52A mob wife has a word with her son's bully.
07:57So what is it?
07:57Fucking Chester?
07:58Oh, my God.
07:58Or something?
07:59Take a fucking seat.
08:01Don't worry.
08:02My son's not going to pull the chair out from under you.
08:04He's not going to use your fucking moves.
08:07Let me smell the carrot sticks on your breath.
08:08The carrot sticks I packed for my son for lunch.
08:11That you fucking took, Chester.
08:12I smell fucking carrots on your face.
08:17Also, you look like you need a fucking job.
08:20Touch my son one more time, and I'll move your family to another county.
08:25Simple as that.
08:26Where's my kitty?
08:30Let's say 40 points with connections.
08:33I could see the Carmella Soprano name.
08:35Yeah, yeah.
08:36Maybe another 20 years.
08:37It's great casting.
08:38Sam always tells us, like, what age we look and what kind of character we're playing.
08:43No, it's, like, really helpful.
08:44He's almost like, if you were five years younger, you gave it to her, Sam.
08:47There's landmines everywhere.
08:48Sneaky girl shuffle.
08:49Woo!
08:54Oh, no.
08:55Oh, no.
09:01And that's a sneaky girl shuffle.
09:04A sneaky girl shuffle.
09:06Better watch your back.
09:06Better watch your back.
09:07Lisa, brace yourself for your own personal game of earthquakes and noise.
09:12It's time for a doozy prompt.
09:16This is just for you.
09:17Are you on drugs?
09:19A romance novelist reads aloud as she types out her 40th book,
09:24The Werewolf Who Could Unfasten My Bra One Pod.
09:27In her career, she has never once used the same synonym for penis twice,
09:32and she's not about to start now.
09:35I'd walk out.
09:35Wolfie, I said, as he pushed me onto the bed.
09:43Hello, police.
09:46I'd like to report that Sam Raisha's a pervert.
09:50Yeah, I'm literally, I'm on the show right now.
09:52So I think what he's trying to get me to do is say penis a lot.
09:58Okay, so just, like, do the prompt and act like everything's normal
10:01and then get my revenge later.
10:04Um, Wolfie, I said, as he pushed me onto the bed.
10:10Your member is the longest sword I've ever seen.
10:12Well, that's my cock, he said, as he swung his big willy next to my leg.
10:17We can't be doing this.
10:18Not here in Captain Jack's log cabin.
10:20Ring, ring, ring, ring.
10:21Hello?
10:21You said Sam Raish?
10:23Yeah, I know.
10:24No one knows, like, who he is.
10:27Oh, no, we know who he is.
10:29We have a lot of complaints.
10:32But we do still need to finish the prompt because it's an ongoing case.
10:37Okay.
10:37You're not on camera right now, right?
10:39I am, but he's, like, too stupid to notice.
10:42I'll just finish the prompt and then I'll talk to you later.
10:45Okay.
10:45Love you, bye.
10:46Love you, bye.
10:47He pushed me onto the bed.
10:49He ripped my blouse asunder.
10:51His dinky donker was getting engorged with werewolfy blood.
10:55Yep, that's my bow and arrow surprise, he said, licking his chops.
10:59Oh, your tubular astrophy is getting so engorged, I said,
11:03as I threw my hair back and whispered.
11:04Woo, woo, woo, woo.
11:07Lisa Gilroy, you're under arrest for saying too many words that are, like,
11:10penis in front of...
11:11No.
11:11This was a setup.
11:13We're going to read you your rights.
11:14You want to say, I'm going to find you.
11:19Terrifying.
11:19Absolutely terrifying.
11:21I mean it in, like, kind of a romantic way how some people are like,
11:24I will find you in every life, but, like, for me, it's a threat.
11:28Lisa, how many points do you want?
11:30A dilly donk...
11:31A dilly donker?
11:32A dilly donkers.
11:33Of points.
11:34Izzy, last prompt of round one.
11:36Izzy.
11:36Miss Piggy's audition for euphoria.
11:38Hey, hey, hey, hey.
11:40Hi-ya!
11:41What do you think you're doing?
11:43Hiding in the bathroom.
11:44I knew you were kissing my man.
11:46Yeah, that's right.
11:47I just did a bunch of molly.
11:49And I don't think you'll be coming for my kermie anytime soon.
11:53Because this is all going up in a play.
11:56Is this play about us?
11:57Yeah, this play's about you, bitch.
12:00Guess what?
12:00If you don't want a Swedish chef to cook up some nasty, nasty drama at your high school,
12:08get out of this party!
12:10Thank you!
12:11The Zendaya won.
12:12We're all 40.
12:1727 kissy-kissies to you, Izzy.
12:20Which brings us to our next minigame.
12:24What, Ro?
12:24This is a little minigame that we like to call Name That, in this case, sex toys.
12:30How this will work is, players, I will present you with a series of sex toys through this door.
12:35You will buzz in and name those sex toys for me.
12:39If I could please have our first sex toy.
12:46Oh, Bob.
12:48You made that?
12:49Yes, I stayed up late at night and made that.
12:53Lisa.
12:54Sam's Little Snack.
12:58That bass is not flared enough.
13:00More of a critique than a name, but I'll take it, Izzy.
13:02Yes.
13:03Lisa.
13:04Potassium, put it in your assium.
13:07That's how the game is played, Lisa.
13:10And so that point does go to you.
13:12Thank you so much.
13:13For Sam's Little Snack.
13:15I don't think it turns off.
13:16A little defect in the manufacturing.
13:19It's so loud, I couldn't have one thought.
13:22If I could please have our next sex toy.
13:24Ew, no.
13:25Why do you have gloves on?
13:27For safety.
13:28Okay, I don't know, the fucking hot jizz bubbler.
13:33Is that jizz in there?
13:34Is it?
13:35Izzy.
13:36This is a tank full of aliens, and this is how they fuck.
13:39This is a tank full of aliens, and this is how they fuck?
13:42No, this is a tank full of aliens, and this is how they fuck.
13:46Oh, Angela.
13:47A snow globe dildo.
13:49Oh, yeah, it kind of is.
13:51Oh, Lisa.
13:52A luba lamp.
13:53A luba lamp is good.
13:55I think I'm going to give this one to Lisa again.
13:58I know my dildos.
14:00Thank you, Paul.
14:01Paul.
14:01Paul, snap out of it.
14:02Do that alone.
14:03If I could please have our next toy.
14:09What the hell?
14:11Lisa.
14:11The sex driver.
14:12Oh, good.
14:13Sex drive.
14:14It's vibrating.
14:15Slight vibration on this one.
14:16Angela.
14:17A rattle for adults.
14:19Yes, absolutely.
14:20Izzy.
14:21It's for my Andrew Lloyd Webber heads.
14:22What's the buzz?
14:24Tell me what's happening.
14:25What's the buzz?
14:26Tell me what's happening.
14:27I like that, Izzy.
14:28I think we're going to go with you for that one.
14:30That's a good one.
14:31If I could please have our next sex toy.
14:34Ooh.
14:35Ouchie.
14:36Ouch.
14:37Are the lights dimming?
14:38What are you trying to make us do?
14:43What are you trying to make us do?
14:44I'll do it.
14:45I am going to be arrested at the end of this episode.
14:49As you should be.
14:50Izzy.
14:51The tickler.
14:52The tickler indeed.
14:54Angela.
14:55Looks better with the lights off.
14:56I like that a lot, Angela.
14:59Izzy.
15:00For some insects that have a hundred vaginas or holes.
15:03Now you can fill every one.
15:06Now you have a dinky donker for every single one.
15:09Lisa.
15:09A glow-in-the-dart taint teaser.
15:13I am going to say that this point goes to Angela.
15:16If I could please have the next toy.
15:21Everyone's going to want to bring this one home.
15:22Oop.
15:23Ew.
15:23It's so...
15:24Izzy.
15:26Slap-de-clit.
15:28Slap-de-clit.
15:30Lisa.
15:31The mega-wet-pussy-fish-slop-and-slap-spanker.
15:35Izzy.
15:36Big-flappin-fishy-fuck-fuck-fucker.
15:38Fuck me, little fish.
15:40Angela.
15:41Double-fish-pussy on my fish.
15:43Multiple-pussies for my bed time.
15:45Yeah.
15:46Hey, hey.
15:47Hey, merman, but the bottom half is a fish
15:50and the top half is a fish and he's eating my pussy.
15:54Angela.
15:55Merman and all the fish is sucking my balls.
15:59Izzy.
15:59Merman, but the bottom half is a dick
16:02and the top half is a dick.
16:05I've never thought about fucking Ursula the Sea Witch.
16:08Not even one time.
16:09I never, ever, ever think about it.
16:12Lisa.
16:12Ursula, big titties spilling out of that tiny top.
16:15We're not thinking about it.
16:16Her skin's purple and decadent,
16:18but she's a woman.
16:19She's older than me.
16:20Why would I care?
16:22Hey, Angela.
16:23Ursula's clint is a meaty fish.
16:25What?
16:25I don't know who that point goes to.
16:32Thank you, Paul.
16:33Give it to the three amigos, why don't you?
16:35I'll give it to all three of you.
16:36How's that?
16:37Bubba Gump's clint.
16:39Yes!
16:39Yeah!
16:40Yeah!
16:41Oh, Jesus Christ.
16:42Deadliest catch, my taint and pubes.
16:45If I could please have our last sex toy.
16:49Jesus fucking Christ.
16:52Lime every mountain.
16:56Izzy.
16:57Jeff Koons going in a different direction.
17:01Highbrow.
17:02Lisa.
17:03Ouch, daddy's home.
17:05You got yourself.
17:08Angela.
17:08A vibrator in Monsters, Inc.
17:11Mike Wazowski.
17:11Mike Wazowski.
17:13Yes!
17:13Yeah!
17:15Absolutely.
17:16And that one we will say goes to Angela.
17:19Thank you, Paul.
17:21And thank you, Art Team.
17:22Paul, can we give that a little?
17:23Yeah, let us give it a little.
17:23Come on, girls.
17:24Come on, girls.
17:26Make some noise!
17:28This is what my tampons look like after having a baby.
17:31Am I right?
17:35That brings us to round two,
17:36where our players will now test their talents
17:38in teams of twos.
17:41Angela.
17:42Okay.
17:42And Lisa.
17:44The contrast between a public story
17:47and close friends story.
17:50Hey, guys.
17:51I'm trying out mouth tape for the first time tonight.
17:55If you guys are trying it,
17:56let me know in my DMs if this is any good.
17:57I feel insane doing this.
17:59Hey, team.
17:59Will you all interact with that last post I just did?
18:03Folks, I'm actually really trying to get into that space.
18:04That's actually just duct tape.
18:06But really, just like it and stuff.
18:09A lot of you guys are sending me DMs.
18:11Like, tons of you guys are sending me DMs about the mouth tape.
18:13You guys are literally obsessed with it.
18:15So, I'm loving that.
18:16And XOXO, Gossip Girl.
18:18Guys, I'm waiting for one of you to pick me up from the airport.
18:20Just like waiting because...
18:21The duct tape app mouth tape money never came in.
18:24Hey, a lot of you guys have been asking
18:26why I've been at the airport for a few days.
18:28It's actually because I am doing a paid sponsorship with LAX.
18:32I'm feeling so blessed.
18:33I'm doing kind of a brand deal with them.
18:34So, I'm going to show you guys around the terminals.
18:36It's been four fucking days.
18:40Let's say 25 points for you both.
18:42Oh, that was boring.
18:43If we're being honest, it's more like 50.
18:45That brings us to Lisa and Izzy.
18:49Izzy.
18:50Bridezilla versus Mecca Bridezilla.
18:53If someone comes to my ceremony wearing white,
18:56I will kill them.
18:59Oh!
18:59Miranda!
19:01Oh, my God!
19:02Dun, dun, da, da!
19:04Dun, dun, da, da!
19:06Look!
19:07Dun, dun, da, da!
19:08Dun, dun, da, da!
19:09Dun, da, da!
19:10No!
19:12If my father-in-law comes all shit all over the venue!
19:19Oh, my God!
19:21Oh, my God!
19:25My bachelorette party's going to be in France!
19:28And everyone must pay!
19:34That sounds wonderful.
19:39Yeah, girl.
19:40Oh, my God.
19:42I can't wait.
19:43That was a great twist.
19:4656 points minus one for the both of you.
19:49Izzy and Angela.
19:51Yeah.
19:52Teaching Nana how to surf the dark web.
19:56This is 4chan.
19:58Oh, my God.
20:00No, no, no, no, no.
20:00You don't need to know about this.
20:01Oh, my God.
20:02Okay, you said before you die,
20:05you wanted me to show you the dark web.
20:07To buy a bag.
20:08And you left that part out.
20:10No, no.
20:10Oh, my.
20:11That's not body parts for sale.
20:14No, Nana.
20:15Nana, no.
20:16Nana, no.
20:17Just kidding.
20:18I'm looking more.
20:19Stop.
20:22Do you like it?
20:24I love it.
20:25What do you mean?
20:26I think I want to do more on here.
20:28Like what?
20:29I'm a part of some communities that...
20:31What's going on with you?
20:33I don't know anything about the dark web.
20:35Could you tell?
20:36Yeah, sending you both 300 dark web points
20:39for your personal computers.
20:40Actually, maybe that's a bad idea.
20:41I retract.
20:42I retract it.
20:44Angela.
20:44Again.
20:45And Lisa.
20:46Again.
20:47The Virgin Mary on the Who's Your Daddy podcast.
20:52Welcome to the show.
20:53So we're literally dying to know.
20:55Were you actually pregnant or...
20:57God.
20:58God what?
20:59God gave me the child.
21:01So God gives you the child
21:02and then just like you raise it by yourself.
21:03God is so toxic
21:04and has literally been toxic forever.
21:06Whoa, never said that.
21:07No red flags?
21:09No, no.
21:09A green flag.
21:11A big, good flag.
21:12So he like changed diapers
21:13and like helped you raise the baby and everything?
21:14No, he wasn't there.
21:15Okay, so I guess that's just like where I'm coming at.
21:17Like if you're being left on your own
21:19to raise Jesus Christo,
21:21like that's a lot of responsibility.
21:23I know it sounds like I'm being brainwashed, doesn't it?
21:25Yeah, it does really.
21:26Like he's gaslighting you.
21:28He is?
21:29But have you ever thought of like starting your own thing?
21:31Like women now can start podcasts.
21:32We can start religions.
21:33I can start my own religion?
21:36Of course.
21:37Can you pray for me?
21:39Lord Jesus, pray.
21:40I'm praying for the host of Who's Your Daddy.
21:43Hey, babe, Mary, I need a ride.
21:45Remember to my thing.
21:45Oh, it's Joseph, my husband.
21:47Yeah.
21:48Oh my God, you're seeing Joseph and God?
21:50No, God impregnated me.
21:52I told you to stop talking about that.
21:54Oh.
21:57A rosary of points to you both,
21:59which brings us to Lisa and Izzy.
22:02Izzy.
22:03An OB-GYN preps a mother-to-be in a world
22:06where babies shoot out like a cannonball.
22:09So that is your 20-week checkup.
22:12Everything is looking great.
22:13Have you started any birth classes?
22:15Is this...
22:16Oh, no.
22:21Come back in.
22:22No, no.
22:22You come back in the room.
22:23No, no, no, no.
22:25That's my...
22:26Oh, no, no, no.
22:29No, no, no, no, no.
22:30Stop.
22:30Oh, no, no, no, no.
22:33Hey, no, no, no.
22:34Hey, stop.
22:35No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:37Hey, stop.
22:37Ah!
22:38Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
22:40Do you want me to check you again?
22:42Yeah, it's coming out like a cannonball, brother.
22:44Oh, no, it's not...
22:45Get your nurse to stand there.
22:47Get your nurse to stand there.
22:49Okay, you come...
22:50Nurse, obviously, the appointment isn't done.
22:53Uh-huh.
22:54Okay.
22:54It's coming out.
22:55I don't think it is.
22:56It's going to kill whoever it hits.
22:58You darn dilated your 20 weeks, okay?
23:01Whoa!
23:03Really?
23:04Whoa!
23:05Doc, doc, here's your helmet.
23:07What?
23:08Oh!
23:09Oh!
23:09He's dead.
23:22Okay, this next prompt is for Angela and Sam.
23:27Now, this one's a bit of a doozy.
23:30No, that's the next prompt!
23:31Let's say a maternal amount of points for the both of you,
23:43which brings us to the last prompt of round two.
23:47Izzy.
23:47Dizzy.
23:48And Angela.
23:49Okay.
23:50It's time for your very own doozy.
23:54Showing up to a job interview in one of those overly personalized t-shirts
23:58that says,
23:59never mess with a middle sister from Wisconsin who is a cancer leo cusp,
24:03can hold a plank for two minutes,
24:04and owns two crossbows.
24:06Oh, and before I forget.
24:09Oh!
24:12She gets to wear it.
24:13You can wear it.
24:14Whoever can catch me wears it.
24:19Ah!
24:19Ah!
24:21Ah!
24:23Ah!
24:25Ah!
24:27Ah!
24:28Ah!
24:29She's small and she's fast.
24:34Hey, Miranda, come on in.
24:38Okay, so I guess I'll read that.
24:40Never mess with a middle sister from Wisconsin who is a cancer leo cusp,
24:43can hold a plank for two minutes,
24:44owns two crossbows.
24:45Okay, amazing, Miranda.
24:47So let's talk about why you want to be a doula.
24:52I love the stork.
24:55You love the stork?
24:56Yeah.
24:56I've always wanted to meet the stork, so...
24:59It feels weird for you to think babies come from storks,
25:01because you're a middle sister, right?
25:02I'm in the middle, yeah.
25:04Basically, my older sister is older than me,
25:06and my younger sister is younger than me.
25:08Okay.
25:09You're strong.
25:10You can hold a plank for two minutes.
25:11Oh, yeah, I'm really strong.
25:12Only in the arms, not in the legs.
25:15Great.
25:15Well, Miranda, let's put it to the test.
25:18Okay, you want me to do a plank?
25:19Two minutes.
25:19I'll do it right now.
25:20Okay.
25:21You want to know how I became so strong?
25:24How?
25:25Because I fight bears.
25:27Because when the stork comes, he's really strong.
25:30And you got to rip the baby out of his arms.
25:33No, I have two crossbows.
25:35I got them on 4chan.
25:37My grandma showed me how to do 4chan.
25:39Okay, well, I don't know if you're the right fit for a doula, Miranda.
25:43Midwife?
25:44Um, no, maybe something with, like, I don't know.
25:46Eat the placenta?
25:47A placenta fairy!
25:49You sound like a fucking idiot talking about fairies.
25:52Now I'm full.
25:52Well, Miranda, I don't want any trouble, okay?
25:54I'm going to make you a shirt.
25:55Oh, what's my shirt going to say?
25:56This little lady is all wine and no whining.
26:01And she's from where are you from?
26:02I'm from Boston.
26:03From Boston.
26:04Bull.
26:0544 points to anyone out there who is this person we just described.
26:11Which brings us to our third and final minigame.
26:15This is a little minigame that we like to call Hollywood Ho.
26:19How it works is, my players will pitch me the names of imaginary movie titles.
26:24If I like the sound of that movie title, I'll then ask them for the logline to said movie.
26:28If I like the sound of the logline, I'll then ask them to enact a scene from said movie.
26:33Players, are you ready?
26:34Yeah.
26:35Excellent.
26:36Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, Ho!
26:39Oh!
26:40Orgasm police.
26:43No one's coming for mama.
26:46Let's see it!
26:49Open up!
26:50Open the fuck up!
26:52Ma'am, were you masturbating?
26:53No, no.
26:54Okay, I believe you.
26:55Let's go.
26:57Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, Ho!
27:00Oh, H.
27:01Help me.
27:02This is my first time watching the Betty White biopic.
27:06I don't know what's going on, but I appreciate and respect her as a mother and a grandmother.
27:12Hell's babies.
27:15Not enough room in hell for all these babies.
27:20Let's see it!
27:22Ma'am, did you just give birth to a baby?
27:24Yes, it's Hitler.
27:26We're good.
27:27We're good.
27:28Wait!
27:28Can you imagine?
27:32Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, Ho!
27:34Yes!
27:36Sanctum high.
27:38Silly Sarah and her jeans.
27:42Scissor tits to Edward's sister.
27:47You've heard of Edward's scissor hands?
27:49What about his sister's hands?
27:52But it's not her hands, it's her tits.
27:55Jay!
27:56Jack asked Thanksgiving.
27:58You know him.
27:59You love him.
28:00But are you grateful for him?
28:01It's the boys!
28:03They're back for Thanksgiving!
28:05Let's see it!
28:06Someone stand there and I'll throw this bag at you.
28:09Okay, it's me or dad.
28:11All right, ready?
28:11Carp the turkey.
28:12Say what you're grateful for on three and then she's going to hit you.
28:15Okay.
28:16One.
28:16My family is alive.
28:17Three!
28:18Mine's a bad hit.
28:19Did it hurt?
28:20Oh, yes.
28:21Go to me!
28:22Your turn.
28:23Say what you're grateful for on three.
28:25One.
28:25Six!
28:26Three!
28:28My turn, my turn, my turn.
28:29Ready?
28:30Do what you're grateful for.
28:31The fact that he fell and it was funny.
28:34Oh!
28:36Really heavy, huh?
28:37Yeah!
28:39Yeah!
28:40Dude!
28:41And that is a minigame.
28:46Which brings us to round three, where our players will now hold hands and jump into the abyss together.
28:54Angela.
28:55Yes.
28:55Lisa.
28:56Yeah.
28:56Izzy.
28:57Izzy.
28:57Three Gorgons hype each other up in the bar bathroom.
29:02Girlies.
29:03Oh, girlies.
29:04Ew!
29:04Ew!
29:05I don't want to go back out there.
29:07He hasn't texted me back.
29:09Does anybody have lip liner for my hair?
29:12Yeah, I got you.
29:13For that snake up there.
29:14Good, good.
29:15I'm getting all of them.
29:16Girlies, we're not focusing on my brain.
29:17Oh, sorry, sorry.
29:18Let's draft it together.
29:19Come on.
29:20We're draft.
29:21Okay, fine.
29:22Voice to text.
29:27No, no, no, no, no.
29:29No, if you put a period, it's going to look like you're a bitch.
29:32Oh, okay.
29:33I don't know.
29:34Maybe I'm just like not meant for dating.
29:35Hey, don't say that.
29:37He looked at me and he turned to stone and then my teeth came out of my ass and they jumped
29:42him up and now he hasn't done me back.
29:44If I had a nickel for every time teeth came out of my ass and killed a man, I'd have a fucking nickel.
29:49It happened once.
29:51Jesus Christ.
29:53Nine points turned to stone when you look at them.
29:55Next up, Angela.
29:56Yes.
29:57Lisa.
29:58Izzy.
29:59Doomscrolly, hyper fixated, and touch starved are added to the cast of Inside Out 3.
30:05Hey, guys.
30:06How are ya?
30:07Oh, it's so good to see you.
30:08How are ya?
30:09Oh, my God.
30:10Oh, you guys, getting here.
30:13Feels so good to be touched again.
30:15Oh, my God.
30:16It does not feel good to be touched.
30:17There is measles everywhere.
30:18You know what I'm talking about?
30:20Haven't you seen all of the cases of measles in the children who've died?
30:22Oh, my God.
30:23Nothing affects me.
30:24No, no.
30:25You should really be affected because we could all get measles or bird flu at any second.
30:29And come in.
30:30Come in for a little hug.
30:32Come on.
30:33Oh.
30:34Come on.
30:35We're going to make this kid amazing.
30:38A 56% critic score, 76% audience score.
30:46Next up, players, is a round robin.
30:48What that means is I'm going to ask for you to take the back line of our stage and step forward one at a time and deliver your answers as you come up with them.
30:56Can't believe I was talked into this.
30:58Titles for my memoir.
31:01Memoir.
31:02I feel like only Lisa should go.
31:03We should just let her go.
31:04I mean, I'll just get it out of the way.
31:07The third Reich.
31:09Someone was going to say it at some point.
31:13I wear tennis shoes in my suit.
31:14A story.
31:17Truly, nobody likes it.
31:19Quiet quitting.
31:20How to do nothing and still be popular on the internet.
31:24Where I'm really from.
31:28I tricked my wife and you can trick yours too.
31:31Sam Reich story.
31:33Jesus fucking Christ.
31:34Sam Reich.
31:36Ursula's little clit.
31:39Tummy troubles.
31:41That's just factual.
31:43Reich Carumba.
31:44Diary of a Mad Boy.
31:47From Reich to Riches.
31:49How a rich boy became a rich man.
31:51Jesus fucking Christ, you three.
32:01Hope you all enjoyed that.
32:02200 points to me.
32:04Players, your last prompt of our game.
32:08It's a gift prompt.
32:11Let's see who from.
32:13Hey Angela, Lisa, and Izzy.
32:15It's me, Ally.
32:16And I have a gift prompt for you.
32:19Way too sick to be on The Bachelor right now.
32:23Way too sick to be on The Bachelor right now.
32:27Girls, I'm so excited to bring you on this two-on-one.
32:31You're both really special to me.
32:32I know that one of you is going to have to go at the end of this.
32:35Are you both okay?
32:36Jason, this time in Tahiti has been amazing.
32:40Both of you are sort of swaying a lot.
32:43No, we're fine. We had a bunch of water from the tap.
32:47And we're feeling hydrated and pretty.
32:51We should talk in the bathroom, Jason.
32:52Well, perfect, because I brought Morgan Whalen out to do a concert for just us and we're all going to dance together.
33:03Oh.
33:04Close and slow.
33:11Oh my God.
33:13I'm sorry, I'm a burpee girl.
33:15Oh my God. Sorry, just a second, sorry.
33:18Are you...
33:19Oh my God.
33:21What is that?
33:22If I look at that for too long, I'm like, oh no.
33:24Can I dip you?
33:25Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
33:27Oh no.
33:28Oh my God, it's a trail.
33:29Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
33:31Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
33:33Wait, you're scooting in it.
33:35Don't look at it.
33:36You're scooting in her trail.
33:37I'm being a really good girlfriend.
33:38I'm hiding all your shit for you.
33:40What did you eat?
33:43Catch us.
33:45Jesus Christ.
33:47One last time.
33:48Switcheroo.
33:51Do do do do do do.
33:52Uh oh.
33:54Oh no.
33:56Oh no.
33:58Which brings us to the end of our show.
34:03Our winner tonight.
34:08Lisa Gilroy.
34:10God damn it.
34:12The machine said it.
34:13recipient of the coveted golden ears.
34:16Kiss.
34:17Kiss.
34:18Kiss.
34:19Kiss.
34:21Yay.
34:23That does it for us here at Make Some Noise.
34:25Tune in next time for more of the Game Samer.
34:27I'm Sam Reich and that sounds pretty good to me.
34:28Good night.
34:29Good night.
34:30Nice.
34:44Good night.
34:45Good night.
34:46You
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