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00:00Such a bold exploration of gluteal form.
00:04Note the tonal palette, the compositional form,
00:07the undercurrent of defiance.
00:10One could be forgiven for characterizing this painting as...
00:14cheeky.
00:17A young artisan eating ketchup chips.
00:20Sup?
00:21I haven't seen a butt painted in such detail since
00:23Genevieve Plum's Wall of Bums.
00:26A paint cheats flat the way creator intended.
00:29I sit on the board of admissions for the prestigious Arts University
00:32for the Learned, located in Moncton, New Brunswick.
00:36The Paris of the Maritime?
00:38Truly.
00:39If you could put a portfolio together, I would see to it myself
00:42that it would get into the right hands.
00:44Hey, you there, art-tweeb!
00:47No aristocrats!
00:49Go on, git!
00:51And take your no-arm glasses back to Moncton!
00:54Artsy-fartsy snob wouldn't last five minutes and stony.
00:58Yes, I can love you, baby, all night long.
01:05It is in the while, I think, stick.
01:07You can see by one gang.
01:09Paul is the new water guy now,
01:11and is behind the wheel of the truck as we speak.
01:14Which is kind of scary because he doesn't have his license.
01:17So, if you're out on the road, look out.
01:20He's still ironing out the kings.
01:24Fuck, boy!
01:27So, you're going, right?
01:29I just finished school. Why would I go to another one?
01:32Because at this one, you can just fuck around and drop pictures.
01:35In Moncton, New Brunswick.
01:38Way better than Old Brunswick.
01:40I do love fucking around.
01:43And look at how deadly these kids look in the pamphlet.
01:46This could be you, all sad and tortured.
01:54Okay, I'll do it.
01:55Moncton! Moncton! Moncton!
01:57But I'm gonna do it on my own terms.
01:59Art shouldn't be locked up in museums, confined by walls.
02:03My art's for the people.
02:05Yo, look at this pamphlet.
02:07It says, be bear smart.
02:09And there's a picture of a man running from a bear.
02:11What's with you guys and pamphlets?
02:13Pamphlets! Pamphlets! Pamphlets!
02:18How many band counselors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
02:22How many?
02:23None.
02:24They don't screw in light bulbs.
02:26They screw us.
02:31Light bulbs!
02:33They get real hot too, and then sometimes you burn your hands on them.
02:37What?
02:38Beat it, you big round rat.
02:40You're just mad at me because I stole your job, and now you have to be the sewage driver.
02:46Oh, fucking genius here.
02:48Why don't you go away?
02:49You're just mad at me because you only think I got this job from sleeping around with Counselor Rose all the time.
02:55Yeah, you think?
02:56Well, the joke's on you, because ever since we had the baby, I've had sex zero times.
03:03Boy.
03:04Oh.
03:05Sorry about that.
03:06Yeah, I hope that picks up for you.
03:08Wait!
03:09Fuck you, man.
03:10Go back to sitting by yourself.
03:11Fine!
03:12But I'm gonna try fitting in with you guys so hard.
03:15Shh.
03:16We got big budget negotiations with Chief and Counsel coming up.
03:20Yeah?
03:21So?
03:22So?
03:23This guy wants to fit in so bad, he told us about his love life.
03:26Imagine what he would tell us about Chief and Counsel.
03:30Oh, fuck!
03:31That's hot!
03:32Hey, boss.
03:33Need your signature.
03:34Yeah, man.
03:35Missed, but I'm sure it's okay.
03:37Hey.
03:38Uh, so my friends and I were curious if we could use the store to play a Wizards and Wendigos campaign.
03:44Is that like where you pretend to kill dragons in some kind of little dungeon?
03:45No, it's actually a pen and paper role-playing game.
03:46We would use our usual place, but it's being fumigated for wolves.
03:47Scary wolves.
03:48Yeah.
03:49One second.
03:50Alright, you know how Yan Man's got this badass biker bar feel to it?
04:12Sure.
04:17to it sure of course bro yeah these nerdlingers are gonna kill that cool vibe we can hear you
04:30we could pay cash good one willie hey uh what are you guys talking about over here
04:37oh you don't want to hear about this no no no i'm one of you guys now we were just talking about how
04:43chief and council's been busting our balls at the bargaining table she says there's no more money
04:49for public works man that's just like rose just stingy did you know that she only lets me have
04:57two wieners when i know for a fact that there's 12 motherfuckers that come in a package you know
05:02what maybe there is something you can do for us well actually no no no no never mind what is it
05:08no willie said never mind no i always mind i never not mind well maybe when you go home
05:16you could get some info from rose yeah something to help us negotiate
05:21huh i mean we're practically family you water me garbage trudy shit
05:29just maybe you could come and sit with us at the big table the big table oh you got yourselves a deal
05:41wow they call it le macaroni de lips his eyes follow you around like a pervert at a gas station
05:51how come he's got a macaroni on his lip because he showed up to school one day with a macaroni on his
05:57lip that's why they call him lips oh i need pics for my portfolio hey i'm gonna go grab my camera
06:06critical hit raw for damage so those cheap little dudes those are uh the good guys
06:12sage is a kung fu monk and sanya is a druid who uses land-based magic
06:17hmm kung fu monk hey pretty cool i guess they just finished slaying an evil orc and now they're
06:24rummaging through his stuff to find some clues rummaging hey sounds cool i guess
06:31gilison what's the buy-in sorry guys our session ended anyways
06:40but uh if you want you can join us tomorrow yeah that'd be cool i mean uh yeah yeah yeah sure whatever
06:47if you haven't seen the lips painting get your jeets down there i've laughed at lips pretty hard
06:55before but never this hard code beige officer humiliated
07:05hey babe oh you scared me yeah i didn't want to wake up pj oh he's out with your mom right now
07:14cool cool so uh why don't you tell me about your work and spare no details you never ask about work
07:25i'm a working man now i love talking work stuff with my baby well oh it's didi i have to take this
07:35willie wants more i know we have a surplus but they don't know that surplus
07:47well he hasn't seen the budget so we don't have to worry about that budget
07:55since when do you dust dust
07:57break it up go home there's nothing to see here look lips has a macaroni on his lip just like
08:07in the painting
08:11stop laughing this is a violation of the law
08:16what what are you hey hey that's my painting it's graffiti i need that for art school
08:23effective immediately i'm banning all forms of graffiti under threat of bcr
08:43stupid fucking pamphlet
08:45sweetie bird is everything okay so last time i tried to be a sad painter in moncton
08:58hmm let me tell you a story when i was young i wanted to be an actor
09:08just like michelle kennedy on north of 60. that's oddly specific
09:13the point is i never followed my dreams and i always regretted it i see
09:24so screw lips and you do whatever you need to do to be whoever you want to be
09:31thanks cuckoo i love you
09:37now if you'll excuse me i have some expressing myself to do
09:42i'm sorry i couldn't find nothing
09:54i'm sorry i couldn't find nothing
09:56taken for fuck i really tried but all she kept going off on was budget and surplus blah blah blah
10:07who said the reserve was broke we're gonna kill them in negotiations i'm really sorry please just
10:13give me one more chance and i promise that i'll show you why don't you
10:17have a seat no fooling that's all yours big guy
10:24are you guys seeing this the table wow
10:30jealous we should tell some jokes
10:33i am gizhiga the fastest barbarian in the land and a magnet of babes
10:43i am zakan the enchanter and i too am a magnet of babes
10:55what i am the magnet of babes
10:58there could be two magnets nerds okay let's start so you're all in the desert when a huge fire
11:09breathing dragon just rips through the air you look to follow it and i jump 500 feet and i punch
11:15the dragon you die from the fall damage yeah i have an amulet of slow fall
11:28you guys are too much yes one wiener two wiener three wiener hey babe i was just kidding
11:43today was brutal willie and trudy would not take no for an answer all the extra money we had saved
11:49got eaten up by their demands really eh it's like they knew about the surplus how could they know
11:58i ask you how you know what you could do for your babe actually never mind no what is it tell me
12:10maybe when you go to work you could get some information for me you want me to spy on my casual
12:20work acquaintances well i'm not sure i'm saying that
12:28that's that's enough wieners for two whole days get dirt at any cost seduce them if you have to
12:44it has been a long battle four hours long so you finally chase down manamon spy to a small church
12:53zaycan the hero of the party strides up to a fallen orc i cast fireball not to spy fireball
13:04is a 20-foot ball of fire you're in a small church i cast
13:09fireball
13:16everyone is weak from the fight
13:20fireball yeah fine you cast fireball you kill everyone in the room yes tpk is that what you want
13:30what happens
13:35shit maybe we went too far yeah maybe want to go again yeah all right
13:45oh hey guys
13:46is it me or is it getting hot in here it's actually a perfect temp really then why am i
14:03so sweaty it's because you have four t-shirts underneath there oh my you noticed so
14:13oh do you guys enjoy the sex what nothing i was just kidding no or was i stop walking around
14:25we took chief and council for a ride yeah all that surplus paid off we don't even need all
14:31the money we're getting said we needed new trucks new uniforms new everything and they had no choice
14:41but the pony up suckers come with us to the band office later watch us sign the deal i would but i have
14:54your own funny work mug
14:59get it it says mug life like thug life it's because we love coffee so much get it get it
15:11take that lips why does that pig have tentacles i don't think that's a pig and those aren't
15:23tentacles holy i didn't know men had those hey oh shit it's the fuzz hey stop right there run no
15:32fucking way halt in the name of the law come on lips lighten up why do you hate art i don't hate art
15:40i hate vandalism i'm actually more of a film guy really we'll discuss this later you're in big
15:47trouble yeah well what are you gonna do about it what am i gonna do your bc art that's what i'm gonna do
15:57okay contracts on the table all it needs is your signatures
16:01i even brought my best pen for this it's nothing personal it's just business actually speaking of business
16:19what what did you do that for i have it on good authority that public works doesn't even need all
16:26that money you asked for not true trucks are up to date uniforms in good shape you even have funny mug
16:32money who told you about the funny mug money who told you about the surplus
16:44mama i knew we couldn't trust this guy how could you even me your baby mama and babe
16:54no i ratted out both sides evenly i want the mug back make him the shit guy that's it you're down to two
17:05hot dogs a day hey is it me or is it getting hot in here oh stop it well we wouldn't even be here if
17:14you guys knew how to openly talk with each other you all used me yeah you should all be ashamed of
17:24yourselves making me resort to my sexy tactics i want you all to sit down and talk about what you all did
17:33while i leave the room wait he's right i told paul to get info on you guys we said the same thing
17:47we bribed him with chairs and mugs how about we all take a look at the numbers together in a good way
17:55in a good way hey we haven't tried honesty and kindness yet my two favorite things babe we have
18:04work to do so uh what do i get for bringing everyone together oh a brand new funny mug four wieners
18:13out yeah
18:20hey just came to get our game hey i'm glad you guys came back yeah we wanted to say sorry
18:26and give you this scroll of apology it's not a real thing but thanks that's so sweet okay let's go guys
18:39hey so look i i know we got carried away and destroyed the whole village that was too much
18:45but we love this game so much is it a crime to love this game so much we can change i swear give us one
18:54more campaign and you will see we are different now okay how about this every wednesday we'll come back
19:02and have a game night but you have to promise to be chill we're as cool as a plus two frost dagger
19:10roll initiative for round two
19:13leave her alone lips sorry hilda you do the crime you do the time wait she didn't paint it it's okay
19:30no it's not i painted it nice try she's lying i painted it i painted it too so did i
19:39not i also painted it that's impossible looks like everyone painted it you're all bcr'd
19:47why don't you take a look at the painting first take it in use your damn eyes lips all right fine
19:57why does that pig have tentacles i don't think that's a pig and those aren't tentacles
20:03oh my god i understand it now you do laws are just threats made by the ruling class to hold on to power
20:15uh yeah man i've seen enough you're all free to go i too have seen enough
20:23this is true art there is a voice inside of you that must be heard not bottled up here in grouse lake
20:33applications be damned i am prepared to offer you a full scholarship the world needs to see this bird fly
20:39you think she went to moncton there's a note
21:00hey dickheads i want you to know that i turned down the art school
21:05i'm gonna travel and see all the art i can like a badass i'll be back at some point so don't take my
21:15shit
21:18well she did say don't take my but she didn't say anything about not using it right
21:25nope well these games ain't gonna play themselves
21:29they give me reasons why i should walk away you looking at me girl what can i say i've got it
21:47think i'm in trouble trouble is my
21:51i chase the heart here maybe too much i've got it
21:55i'm in trouble trouble
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