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00:00New Random Finals! One, two, three, four!
00:11Come take a ride!
00:14We're here to find out Wednesday night!
00:17It's Wednesday night!
00:19How good it is, the Chris Gathard Show!
00:23Chris Gathard Show!
00:26Chris Gathard Show!
00:27Chris Gathard Show!
00:30Thank you guys all so much. Welcome to the Chris Gathard Show.
00:42I'm your host, Chris Gathard.
00:43We want to say hi to everybody watching in Manhattan on MNN.
00:46We want to say hi to everybody watching on our live stream at thechrisgethardshow.com.
00:49Important announcement, we switched our streaming service.
00:52We're using a new service with no ads, higher quality.
00:55It's provided by our friends at the Manhattan Neighborhood Network, MNN.org.
00:59So that being said, it is the first night we're testing it out, so live stream viewers, if
01:03it gets glitchy, we have a link right there to the Ustream if you need to bail, head to
01:07that, and over the next few weeks, we're going to straighten out this streaming thing.
01:10Get those ads away from you guys.
01:12So that's our gift to you.
01:13Live stream viewers, thanks as always to MNN.
01:15If you are in New York City, and you are a creative person, and you're not making a television
01:19show here, why aren't you just doing that?
01:21You should just be doing that.
01:22So thank you, MNN, for everything.
01:25Thank you guys all for being here live in the studio audience on what promises to be a very
01:29historic night, because last week we met 11 new contenders vying for the crown to be
01:35the new random on the Chris Gathard Show.
01:39People have been voting all week.
01:40We had over 2,000 votes, and we have our two finals.
01:44I want to say, first of all, thank you to all of our randoms for trying out.
01:47We're happy to have all of you guys be a part of the family, part of the show's history
01:50now and moving forward.
01:52And it was a very tough battle.
01:54It was exciting to watch.
01:55I think five different people held the lead at one point.
01:58There's all sorts of shit talk flying around the internet, and we were left with two people
02:03standing who are going to come here tonight, participate in a series of trials, so we can
02:07see once and for all who will be the third random of the Chris Gathard Show.
02:12Who's gotta, who's gotta, who's gotta, who's gotta be the random?
02:16Are you gonna, are you gonna, are you gonna, are you gonna be the new random, random Melissa?
02:23All right.
02:24Ladies and gentlemen, let's welcome our two finalists to the stage.
02:26You remember them from last week.
02:28First, she was raised in a cult.
02:30Random Melissa, welcome back.
02:35Thank you so much for being here.
02:37So, Melissa, why don't you just sit on that side of the old human fish, and let's go ahead
02:40and welcome, you know her as the black Tina Fey, ladies and gentlemen, Random Lauren.
02:48Welcome back, Random Lauren.
02:51I want to say thank you to the LLC for playing us in.
02:54Thank you to Mimi on the Hoops.
02:55Thank you to our panelists.
02:57The, the one, the only, Ms. Bethany Hall is here.
03:00Welcome back to the show.
03:01Bethany, how are you feeling about this contest?
03:03I'm feeling great.
03:04Okay, the world's greatest dancer, Rob Malone, with a Phil Collins mask, a rare appearance
03:10on the panel.
03:12Murph, the Reservoir Dog, how are you?
03:13Pretty good tonight, pretty good.
03:15All right, how are you feeling about this contest?
03:16I'm excited.
03:17There was a lot of conspiracy theories being tossed around.
03:20A lot of people saying that the website was being hacked.
03:22Yeah.
03:22A lot of people saying that there were people on the inside manipulating things.
03:26Not the case.
03:26We just have a poorly functioning website.
03:29And, of course, joining us, as always, the man from the sea, the one, the only, the human
03:36fish.
03:39Human fish, human fish.
03:42What's he thinking?
03:44Human fish, human fish, human fish.
03:48That's so mysterious.
03:50Human fish.
03:53So, human fish, what's on your mind right now?
03:55Jeopardy vs. Jeep Grand Cherokee.
03:59Wow.
04:01Jeopardy vs. Jeep Grand Cherokee.
04:04Who wins?
04:05Jeep Grand Cherokee.
04:07Wow.
04:10So, random, Melissa, random, Lauren, here's how this is going to work.
04:13All the people up here are ready to put you through some tests, some trials.
04:16We're also going to take some calls throughout the night.
04:17At the end of the night, the fate of who will be the new random will be decided by the
04:22Council of Randoms, Random Jean, and Random Andrew, welcome.
04:31Now, Jean, Andrew, only you two know the emotional depths that it takes to be a random.
04:37Only you know the highs and the lows.
04:40I didn't have to audition.
04:41You didn't.
04:42You just fucking rolled up in a cab.
04:45Which you regret, which you did not pay me back for.
04:48Did I?
04:49No, you did not pay me back.
04:50You never got me that receipt, Random Jean.
04:56I'll pay you back.
04:57Do you remember how much it was?
04:58It was $6.50.
04:59I'll get you that.
05:00I gave him a dollar tip.
05:02It was eight months ago.
05:03How do you still remember that?
05:04We will get you that.
05:05So, Random Andrew, Random Jean, what qualities, having been through it, would you say that
05:09the new random should possess if you want to give our new candidates some hints of what
05:12you're looking for?
05:13Pain Endurance.
05:15Pain Endurance?
05:17Yeah, and the ability to say things on the fly and make it funny.
05:21Yeah.
05:21All right.
05:22Saying things on the fly.
05:23The ability to endure pain, both physical and emotional.
05:26Yeah.
05:26So, our randoms, at the end of the night, our Council of Randoms will confer.
05:30They will tell us who they think should be the new random.
05:32In the event of a tie, the one, the only Mr. Human Fish will decide he will be the tiebreaker.
05:38Before we even get into this, let's go ahead.
05:40Let's go to the phones.
05:41Mike in Chicago.
05:43You're on the Chris Gethardt Show.
05:44Welcome.
05:45Hi.
05:45How's it going?
05:47It's going great.
05:47I just happened upon Twitter.
05:50I was about to tweet something, and then I saw you put a phone number, and I called it,
05:54and here we are.
05:56So, do you not know about the show?
05:58Do you know about the show?
05:58No, actually, I randomly discovered you, like, a week ago on Fallon.
06:03Like, I found a clip online, you were on Jimmy Fallon's show, and you were talking about
06:07the Chris Gethardt Show.
06:09And so, right now, I'm actually on the website looking, I'm looking up as much about you as
06:13I can right now.
06:14So, you've never seen the show you're currently on?
06:17Yeah.
06:18You are currently on a show you have not seen?
06:21I've never heard of.
06:22No.
06:22Well, welcome.
06:23What do you think?
06:24I love you.
06:24Are you even watching the live stream, or are we just having a...
06:26I'm watching the live stream right now, and I'm about, like, 10 seconds behind you?
06:33So, we're just largely having a telephone conversation, you and me.
06:37It's ridiculous.
06:38So, I saw the first...
06:39I was watching the first episode.
06:40I can tell by the set, you've come a long way, and I'm really...
06:43We have come a long way.
06:46Like, anyone who watches the first episode, it seems like it's got a grassroots going,
06:52uh, start base, and with, uh, now it's...
06:55I think it's...
06:56It's...
06:56I don't...
06:56It's in the right direction.
06:58Okay.
06:58Well, thank you very much.
06:59Anything else you want to talk about tonight?
07:01Um, I want to say that, uh...
07:04I don't know, I think this show is going to be the success of a tremendous day, and I'm
07:08excited to have it.
07:09You say a lot of words in a short amount of time, man.
07:13I'm nervous.
07:16Well, don't...
07:16You're nervous, Connor.
07:17Straight on.
07:17It's a mess.
07:18All right, Shelby.
07:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:20Let's give us a call.
07:21Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
07:24All right, Shelby from Kentucky, you're on the line.
07:26Welcome to the show.
07:30You've got to turn on your TV, Shelby from Kentucky.
07:34Shelby, you're so close to getting the awkward song.
07:37Oh, oh, hey.
07:38Hey.
07:39What's up?
07:40Yeah, you've got to turn down your volume.
07:41What's going on?
07:41What do you want to talk about?
07:42Hey, um, sorry, I'm not really making any sense right now, but I'm in an Applebee's,
07:47and if you hear any awful 80s music, that's probably because I'm here.
07:51So you're calling us from an Applebee's in Kentucky?
07:54Yes.
07:54Welcome.
07:55Welcome to the Chris Gethard Show.
07:56You belong here.
07:58Well, I wish I could see the show right now, but I can't really get out of here right now.
08:03You should know.
08:04You're the second of two callers who is not watching the show as you're calling it.
08:08Oh, well, I don't know.
08:11I'm from Asbury, if that helps.
08:13Okay.
08:13So we're deciding the new random tonight.
08:16What do you think makes a good random on our show?
08:18Um, the more useless information, the better they are.
08:25I didn't understand.
08:27The more useless information.
08:28Oh, the more useless.
08:29Okay.
08:30Great.
08:31That's a great call.
08:32That's a great call.
08:33Well, thank you very much.
08:34Anything else you want to talk about?
08:36Um, what's on the human fish's mind?
08:39Human fish, what's on your mind?
08:43Leotards versus Leah Michelle.
08:47Leotards versus Leah Michelle.
08:48Who wins?
08:49Leah Michelle.
08:50All right.
08:51Well, Shelby from Kentucky, thank you for the call.
08:53We should get to our first trial.
08:54All right.
08:55Should I start it off?
08:56I'm going to do my first trial.
08:57So Lauren, Melissa, you guys haven't said much.
08:59How are you feeling?
09:00Good.
09:01Ready to get into this?
09:02Yes.
09:03Yes.
09:03I am.
09:03Okay.
09:04Lauren, you're noticing a lot of enthusiasm.
09:08Melissa, you're hanging back.
09:09I really don't want to be on it.
09:10Biding your time.
09:10So right now what we're going to do is some Chris Gethardt Show trivia for you two.
09:14Okay?
09:15Yell out the answers when you know them.
09:16And we should say this about the trials.
09:18Winning at them doesn't mean anything.
09:22It all comes down to Gene and Andrew's opinions.
09:25So even if you get these questions wrong, even if you feel like you messed up,
09:29know that it's about you and it's about what they're sensing.
09:31It's not getting these questions right has no bearing on anything.
09:34That being said, are you guys ready?
09:36Yes.
09:37Okay.
09:37Yell it out when you know it.
09:38As we learned during Phil Jackson's poem at the Great American Presidential Debate,
09:43what does Jimmy McMillan plan to do about taxes?
09:45Nothing.
09:46Nailed it, Melissa.
09:49Okay.
09:52I once wore a shirt that said, fuck Ruckers, I should have gone to what?
09:56Pace.
09:57Wow.
09:59Random Lauren.
10:01I feel like these two ladies quietly going for the throat.
10:06What was the name of the fake rap group that invaded the Ruin This Show episode?
10:10Hint, they were the worst thing ever.
10:15Fake rap group?
10:16Going once, going twice.
10:19They were called the cool guys and they weren't cool at all.
10:22They weren't cool at all.
10:23Okay.
10:26What band performed the song Lottery Ticket on the Chris Gethard Show?
10:31The lottery people.
10:33That's okay.
10:34Random Lauren, you're giving me a lot of guff I can't help but notice.
10:37A lot of guff about my question.
10:38I studied, so.
10:40Going once?
10:41I don't study for anything.
10:43Look at that.
10:44Plain and cool.
10:45Round of applause from the other slackers.
10:47There was anybody?
10:48Anybody know it?
10:49Toys and Tiny Instructs.
10:50Random Andrew.
10:50To it all the way over.
10:51Now that's a random.
10:53She also said it.
10:54There you go.
10:55Those are randoms.
10:56Okay.
10:57Now here's a big one.
10:58Can you name the four contestants of the previous random contest?
11:03Chrissy.
11:04Chrissy.
11:05No.
11:05You can't.
11:06No.
11:07Oh, they're fighting.
11:09Dan.
11:10Dan.
11:10Dan and Chrissy.
11:11I said Chrissy first.
11:12And Rand and George.
11:12Rand and George.
11:12Rand and George.
11:13Wow, okay.
11:14That's a split.
11:15That's a split.
11:16That is a split.
11:17I think you both got two of those first.
11:19This doesn't matter.
11:20Those are my questions.
11:21Wow.
11:22Ladies, go next.
11:24I know.
11:24This is far crazy.
11:27You're so sweet.
11:29So those are my questions.
11:30Gene, Andrew, are you guys feeling it out?
11:32Learning some things?
11:33Yeah, we are.
11:33Yeah.
11:34Okay.
11:34We probably are.
11:35Okay.
11:35Should we go?
11:36Let's take another phone call.
11:37Eric from Canada.
11:38Our first Canadian calling.
11:40How are you?
11:41I'm pretty good.
11:42How are you?
11:43I'm good.
11:43This is like the fourth or fifth week in a row where we've had Canadian callers.
11:46Welcome.
11:47Well, Canada's fallen in love with you since we saw you on Conan.
11:51All right, man.
11:52I'll take it.
11:52Well, I saw you on Conan anyway.
11:54Canadian's got good taste, man.
11:55Yeah.
11:56Just want to send my love.
11:57Hey, thanks.
11:58I want to ask what's on the human fish's mind.
12:00Human fish.
12:01What's on your mind?
12:06PhDs versus HPV.
12:10PhDs versus HPV.
12:15Who wins HPV every day?
12:20Every day.
12:21I would say that that's true.
12:23Every day.
12:24All right.
12:25Let's go ahead.
12:25Who should do the next trial?
12:27Should we do a trial or are we moving on?
12:29I had a pre-ballot that these ladies filled out before the show.
12:34Yeah, Murph.
12:34Why don't you take control a little bit?
12:36I'm going to share the results of this ballad.
12:40First, Melissa.
12:42This was the marry, fuck, kill scenario is what I thought.
12:44The marry, fuck, kill.
12:45With what?
12:46With anyone who has any relation to the show whatsoever.
12:49Okay.
12:49Marry, fuck, kill.
12:50Members of the show.
12:51Members of the show.
12:52Melissa wanted to marry Random Andrew.
12:55Wow.
12:57She wanted to fuck the lead singer of the debutant hour, Maria.
13:02And she wants to kill PPPHP Puck.
13:07Oh.
13:08That is a Twitter account.
13:10There is a political action committee that is against Connor Ratliff because he has pumpkins
13:14for hands.
13:15They are people against pumpkins.
13:17All right.
13:17Interesting.
13:18And Random Lauren's results.
13:20Lauren wants to marry Shannon.
13:21Oh.
13:22Okay.
13:22She wants to fuck, this is what she wrote, Don Finelli slash human fish.
13:26Wow.
13:27So I don't know if that's.
13:28No, I don't know if that's.
13:31So Lauren, do you want to have a, do you say.
13:33A three-way?
13:34A three-way with Finelli and the fish.
13:36Or is that just you couldn't decide between the two?
13:38No, a three-way.
13:39Wow.
13:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:41And I didn't realize I'd be sitting by the human fish.
13:48Random Lauren getting saucy and her kill.
13:51Her kill is Vacation Jason.
13:53Yeah.
13:54I love that.
13:55I like that.
13:56I mean, you're going for, you're pulling at my heartstrings with that one, but I'll tell
13:59you, it's working.
14:01Random Lauren.
14:01Okay.
14:02We have some very special guests joining us tonight.
14:04We're going to have a few bits scattered up to break up the very tense competition.
14:07First up, our old friend Banana Man's here with something important to say.
14:13Hold your applause.
14:14This is a serious matter.
14:15So, I don't know if anyone noticed, but last month, there were two episodes in a row that
14:20I missed.
14:20And that's because I was taking a cross-country road trip throughout America.
14:23And I noticed some terrible things.
14:25I noticed that the earth is dying.
14:28As I traveled through America, I noticed that we're filled with cows.
14:32They're producing methane everywhere.
14:34Earth is polluted with plastic, and the humans will not stop reproducing.
14:38So, I would like to call to action everyone who's watching the Chris Gothard Show right
14:43now.
14:43I don't care if you're watching it on the Manhattan Neighborhood Network stream.
14:46I don't care if you're watching this live on Ustream.
14:49I don't care if you're watching the podcast on iTunes.
14:51I don't care if you're watching a torrent.
14:53Maybe you're watching this as a highlight clip on YouTube.
14:55I don't care if you are black.
14:57I don't care if you're white.
14:59Maybe you're gay.
15:00Maybe you're straight.
15:01Maybe you're bisexual.
15:02Maybe you're transgender.
15:05Maybe you are old.
15:07Maybe you're young.
15:07Maybe you're balding.
15:08Maybe you're wearing a wig.
15:09Maybe you're wearing a toupee.
15:10Maybe you're balding and using minoxidil to prevent yourself from balding.
15:15I don't care if you're rich or poor.
15:16What we need to do is consume less and recycle more.
15:20So I would like a call to action.
15:22Everyone who's watching the show right now,
15:24if you could please stop using water bottles and use canteens.
15:29Wow.
15:30Ananaman was an environmental mess.
15:35I find it amazing.
15:37Ananaman's encouraging us all to conserve more and use less.
15:40And yet he said so many examples.
15:43He was very wasteful in his list of examples.
15:45I could have recycled.
15:47All right.
15:48Stephanie from Houston, you are on the air.
15:51Hello.
15:52Hi, how are you?
15:53Hi, Stephanie.
15:54I'm fine.
15:55I tried calling last week,
15:57but apparently if you don't start calling like half an hour before this thing starts,
16:01you don't get to talk to anyone.
16:04Oh, yeah, she's looking now.
16:06She says her trip was amazing.
16:08India was fucking amazing.
16:09I mean, it's brilliant.
16:10You guys, that's what Mimi sounds like.
16:15I had no idea what's going on.
16:18Okay, I just have another thing.
16:22Yeah.
16:22I just wanted to ask the panel, like, what's your opinion about dubstep?
16:26Oh, she's coming up.
16:28About dubstep?
16:29I love dubstep.
16:30Yeah, dubstep the music.
16:31I'm actually a fan of Marianne.
16:32Good night as a wom wom wom wom.
16:34Yeah, I know.
16:34I actually love dubstep.
16:36I like Skrillex, but he's kind of mainstream now.
16:39And I'm also a fan of like...
16:41I'm also a fan of Marianne Hobbs, a DJ in London.
16:45I think she's very talented.
16:47And I like Zelda dubstep.
16:49I actually just found it.
16:50Woo!
16:51I just found it recently.
16:52And I just want to say, Random Gene speaks for all of us.
16:55We like Skrillex, but he's mainstream now.
16:58Dubstep sounds like mechanical German barnyards to me.
17:03It sounds like a grinding, disgusting mess.
17:06Well, actually, dubstep's a step off of grime music, which is basically British hip hop.
17:11So it's really good.
17:12Watch and learn, ladies!
17:14Watch and learn!
17:18Actually, can I add to that?
17:19I actually thought dubstep was like a drink.
17:22Okay.
17:24I'm learning that it's a dance.
17:25Is it...
17:27Oh, it's like a...
17:28I'm going to shut up now.
17:30I thought dubstep was about Wade.
17:32Is it?
17:33I still don't know.
17:36No one is explaining.
17:37Many of us don't know what dubstep is.
17:39I feel like it's like a cool, like, club...
17:42Like...
17:43It's like language that they use there, maybe.
17:46Dubstep's like really big in London.
17:48It's hot.
17:49This is a really long conversation.
17:51We're going to move on from dubstep.
17:52Noah, what do you think we should do next?
17:53Calls?
17:54Let's go ahead.
17:55Megan from Milwaukee.
17:56Welcome to the show.
17:58Hello?
17:59Yes, Megan.
18:00You're on the air.
18:00How are you?
18:02Oh, what's up?
18:03What's up, Chris?
18:04What's up?
18:05Murph?
18:05Hello.
18:07Yeah.
18:08You're high as a fucking kid, aren't you?
18:13Hello?
18:14Yeah.
18:14Are you high?
18:16Am I high?
18:17You spoke like a high person.
18:20Oh, uh...
18:21Oh, I mean, a little bit.
18:25I called in on, like, the night of zero laughs, I think, about my golden birthday.
18:30I don't know if you guys remember that.
18:31I was going to ask this.
18:32Yes, yes, yes, of course.
18:33How are you?
18:34What's new?
18:35Um, well, I was wondering if Connor Ratliff was there.
18:39Is he there?
18:40Presidential candidate Connor Ratliff is not present tonight.
18:43Oh, uh, well, you guys have seen Breaking Bad, right?
18:48Are you going to say that he looks exactly like Gail Bedecker?
18:52Yes!
18:54Exactly like Gail Bedecker.
18:56He sounds like him, acts like him.
18:58Okay, I'm not the only one.
18:59No, he gets that a lot, but I love that you brought it up.
19:02All right, well, that's sweet, man.
19:06I mean, you got a lot of love in Milwaukee.
19:09Like, you guys are the shit dudes.
19:11And like that guy said, you guys have come a long way for the first show, so...
19:14Thank you, Megan from Milwaukee.
19:16Glad to hear from you again.
19:17Great caller.
19:18Call anytime.
19:19Thank you so much.
19:20All right, and wait, can I say one more thing?
19:21Of course.
19:22Hallie from the LLC is, like, the most adorable thing I've ever seen, so...
19:28Call anytime.
19:38All right, ladies and gentlemen, as I said, a night of many guests.
19:41This guy's making his first appearance on our show.
19:43I'm very, very psyched.
19:44This guy, I've been a fan of his for a long time.
19:47Hilarious human being.
19:48He's my friend, Dan Klein.
19:49I told him, you can come, you can do whatever you want.
19:51So, ladies and gentlemen, let's see what Dan Klein's up to.
19:55Do anything you want to do.
19:57Dan Klein.
19:57Dan Klein.
19:58Dan Klein.
19:59Dan Klein.
19:59Dan Klein.
20:00Do anything you want to do.
20:02Dan Klein.
20:03Dan Klein.
20:03Dan Klein.
20:04Dan Klein.
20:05Dan Klein.
20:06Do anything you want to do.
20:09Thank you so much for that lovely song.
20:11Chris, thank you for having me on your show.
20:13Just so you know, I'm not going to do anything funny.
20:16That is, I kind of came with an important message.
20:18I feel like a lot of people are not eating right these days because you don't know what's good for you.
20:26But I, in addition to doing comedy on the side, that's not really my main thing.
20:31My main thing is I am a fruit critic for a lot of important publications.
20:38And I want to teach you guys and the people at home all about different types of fruit that you can be eating.
20:43I'll review it for you guys so you don't have to go and try it.
20:45You'll know what to expect.
20:47So, what I need is an audience member to help me bounce some ideas back and forth.
20:53Because I have a very, my palate is, sure, Jean, random Jean.
20:57I know all about my fruits.
20:59I shop at the Union Square Green Market.
21:00Okay, well, that, that's great.
21:02That's, you know, that's irrelevant right now, Jean.
21:05It is, it is just about the fruit.
21:06It's not necessarily where the fruit is from.
21:08But, Jean, would you mind coming up here and helping, helping me out?
21:13Yeah, thank you.
21:17Hi, Jean.
21:17It's so nice to meet you.
21:19So, guys, let me get the, the first fruit we'll be talking about today is the apple.
21:25This is an organic Fuji apple.
21:31This is an organic Fuji apple.
21:33Can we, can we get the shot of that?
21:34It's a, it's a green and yellow and red are some colors you'll see on apples.
21:42Pink lady.
21:43A pink, a pink lady is a different type of apple.
21:45Again, Jean, we're not talking about that right now.
21:47So, what's important is, you know, you know it's an apple.
21:51It says organic Fuji right on it.
21:53There's a sticker.
21:53Each fruit comes with a sticker on it that will tell you what it is.
21:58So, let's give it a sniff and we'll, we'll see.
22:00Actually, you always want to give the fruit a sniff.
22:05It sort of smells like an apple.
22:08Smells like Fuji to me.
22:09Yeah, exactly.
22:10So, you know it's a Fuji.
22:12It smells like an apple.
22:13So, that's good.
22:14So, I'm going to cut off a couple slices and then we'll, we'll do it.
22:18I see a spin-off show happening.
22:21I would definitely watch a cooking show.
22:23You guys always didn't watch me.
22:25Okay, so now you can see, oh, hold on.
22:28Again, like I have a very, you know, highfalutin palate and I'm sure most people just taste the fruit.
22:33But you want to, again, sniff it.
22:34Smells like an apple.
22:35We know it's an apple.
22:36We saw the sticker.
22:37Now we see, we see the white, we see, we see the, we see the white meat of the apple.
22:46It's, uh, there's white meat on the inside of the apple.
22:49Again, we've, we've smelled it.
22:51We know it's an apple and now we see, uh, we see the meat.
22:55It is, uh, this is an apple so I think we can go ahead and, we can go ahead and taste it.
23:00Great.
23:00Let's see.
23:00It's really good.
23:04It's really good.
23:07It's sweet.
23:08Um, this part of it tastes different than this part.
23:14It is a peel.
23:15The peel is a little bit different.
23:17I'm getting, um, I'm getting, they can take, oh, well, it's, it is, it is called the meat
23:23of the apple is, uh, the, the professional term.
23:25So, yeah, I, again, might not know about that, but, um, so I'm getting a pretty big hint
23:29of apple is the flavor.
23:31Um, a lot of peel on me.
23:35It's really good.
23:35Um, so Fuji apple, I give it two apples.
23:38That's, oh, sorry.
23:38My rating system is zero to two apples.
23:43Just go, or two apples.
23:44I give it two apples.
23:44It's a great apple.
23:45I'm going to pass it around if you guys want to take a bite.
23:47Feel free to taste the, taste the apple.
23:49I don't know if you guys are comfortable with that or not.
23:53Okay, so we're going to move on to our next fruit.
23:55Uh, we have a banana.
23:56We have a banana.
23:58For a banana, oh, banana man.
23:59There's a man here that is also a banana.
24:01I don't recommend eating you.
24:02Um, but, um, so the banana, unlike the apple, has, uh, yellow skin.
24:08Uh, there's yellow skin and it is shaped differently from an apple.
24:11So you guys will see if you were to be confused or weren't sure what fruit that you wanted.
24:14You could be like, okay, that round one that looks and smells and has a sticker is an apple.
24:19This is a banana.
24:19Great.
24:20So, uh, let's give a taste.
24:22You have to open up a banana, by the way.
24:24Um, and then, um, Gene and I will taste it.
24:28Meat.
24:28And, uh, there we are.
24:30So, also, white meat.
24:31That part is a little confusing.
24:33Um, I love it.
24:35No, this is organic.
24:37You know what?
24:37I, I, I have no idea.
24:38I'm not sure.
24:39I did have no idea.
24:40Um, but, um, okay.
24:44It really tastes like a banana.
24:45Um, it's got full banana flavor.
24:47Uh, texture is soft and starchy.
24:50Um, I give it, uh, I give it two apples.
24:53Uh, what is this?
24:53This banana is two apples?
24:54Two thumbs up.
24:55Two thumbs?
24:55Okay.
24:56I'm still not sure what that means.
24:57Okay, guys.
24:57Uh, I think we gotta move on.
24:59Uh.
24:59All right.
25:00All right, guys.
25:01Well, yeah.
25:01Apples, bananas, go out there.
25:03Give them a shot.
25:04Dan, thank you so much.
25:05A stunning debut on the show.
25:07Very good work with you.
25:09He wants it.
25:10Check out my website, uh, fruitreviews.com.
25:13Uh, they're all on there if you guys need fruit stuff.
25:16Thank you so much.
25:16This is amazing to be done.
25:17All right.
25:18Thank you, Dan Clyde.
25:20Thank you, Random D, for your help.
25:23I think it's time for another trial.
25:25What would you say, Noah?
25:26Another trial.
25:27Oh, we have three left.
25:28Oh, no.
25:28Yeah.
25:29A couple more left.
25:30Rob Malone.
25:31Bethany Hall.
25:33Human Fish.
25:33We'll save Human Fish for left.
25:35Rob, Bethany, who would want to go?
25:36Bethany, okay.
25:37What are you doing tonight?
25:38Okay.
25:39So, oh, I wish I could look at you.
25:42I'm so excited to have two new potential, like, best friends on the show.
25:46Yes.
25:47And so I take my girl friendships very seriously.
25:50So I came up with a series of hypothetical questions I will ask you inevitably in the future.
25:58And I want you to give me the right answer.
26:00And there is a right answer.
26:03So.
26:03No question or anything?
26:04And you can't read it.
26:06Not working.
26:07Okay.
26:07So here's the first question.
26:10We're in my apartment and I'm wearing a stupid outfit.
26:13And I ask you, do I look stupid?
26:16No.
26:17I will tell you the pros and cons of your outfit.
26:18I will say no.
26:21You will say no.
26:22And try to dress like you.
26:23I'll tell you the things that I like about your outfits, that if you want an outfit that's similar but better, I can help you with that, I guess.
26:29I won't take it that seriously.
26:32If we're in your apartment.
26:33Wow.
26:33If we go in public.
26:34Okay.
26:35Well, okay.
26:37So the correct answer to that question is, no, you don't look stupid, but what else do you have in your closet?
26:43Okay.
26:43Okay.
26:45We'll do just half of that answer.
26:46Yeah, you got part of it.
26:47So the second question is that I'm wearing the same stupid outfit, but we're out in public at a bar, and I ask you if I look stupid.
27:01Should I go?
27:02Oh, should I stop talking?
27:05I will say, Bethany, you are too adorable right now.
27:10Okay.
27:10However, I think we need to rethink your life choices.
27:15So come with me, and we'll talk about this.
27:20Okay.
27:20And then, I'm going to buy you a drink.
27:23A lot of drinks.
27:24Okay.
27:25And Melissa.
27:27I would just say no.
27:28I'm not going to tell you that your life choices are wrong because of your outfit.
27:32Okay.
27:32See, the correct answer is no, drink this.
27:37So, again, you got the drink, and you got the no.
27:40We're out of the way close.
27:42One more, Bethany.
27:43One more.
27:44Okay.
27:46Okay.
27:47I'm heartbroken because Ryan Gosling hasn't returned my call in a week, and I ask you, why hasn't he called me back?
27:56Because he's an idiot.
27:57Because he's a dick.
27:59You're both wrong.
28:00The answer is he doesn't like you.
28:02Move on.
28:03No, that would never be the case.
28:05I don't think anyone could not like you.
28:06Exactly.
28:08This is making me very uncomfortable.
28:13All right.
28:14That was my question.
28:15Ladies and gentlemen, we have a video right now that I am very, very excited about.
28:18The last time we had a random contest, this guy showed up in our lives, and we've wondered about him ever since.
28:24And I want to say this.
28:25This guy, every time we've ever met this man, he wears a mask, and he speaks Greek.
28:30And I think a lot of people think it's a character.
28:32I think a lot of people assume that this is something that he walks off screen, takes off the outfit, and starts speaking English.
28:39I promise you, from the bottom of my heart, no one at the Chris Gethardt Show has ever seen random George.
28:45None of us know anything about him.
28:47He remains as much of a mystery today as he did the first time he showed up.
28:51And recently, Banana Man had a chance to hang out with random George in the real world, see what he could learn about him.
28:57So let's go ahead and see what happens when Banana Man hung out with random George.
29:02As part of the Chris Gethardt Show, we were looking for a new random.
29:06The random is a person that we randomly find and invite to be a cast member on the show.
29:10Random George is one of the guys who applied, and no one knows much about him.
29:16Who are you?
29:19Who are you?
29:22I am Random George.
29:24I am Random George.
29:25No photo.
29:25No photos, please.
29:26Photo, okay.
29:27Okay, you can take one photo.
29:29I take walks on Canal Street, find some sympathy from people.
29:43Maybe someone will hug me.
29:44Maybe they'll kiss me.
29:46Ah, ah, ah.
29:47I'm here just for you.
29:49I love people because I'm alone.
29:54I bother people because I'm lonely.
29:57He wants your hot dog.
29:59I don't hate for your hot dog.
30:01I just want it.
30:01I don't care about it.
30:03I'm afraid of it.
30:04I'm afraid of it.
30:08He's not hiding anything.
30:10He just feels scared.
30:12Oh, oh, oh, oh.
30:13Sorry, sorry.
30:14Yo, sorry.
30:15Don't play.
30:16Merry Christmas.
30:18When I go to Canal Street and I bother people, I'm a nuisance, basically, because I'm depressed.
30:32I'm looking for some sort of interaction with the people.
30:35And I just want someone to tell me, I don't know if you're a good person, but I don't know if you're a good person.
30:44Basically, all I'm looking for when I do that is for someone to tell me, Random George, you're a good person.
30:50I just want people to know that they don't go close to me, but they don't know. I can't. I can't. I can't.
30:56Maybe it's the fact that his underwear is dirty, the shit stains. That makes people look at him weird.
31:00It doesn't mean that he's not a good person.
31:02Shit stains in his jaws. Merry Christmas.
31:04He's just looking for love.
31:08Not love, actually. He just wants to fuck.
31:14One woman, one Chinese, obviously.
31:18An Asian, specifically.
31:20He doesn't need to have this right there.
31:22I want to see who you are. I want to be with you. I want to be with you. I want to be one with you.
31:27Because I want to see this. I want to see this. I want to see this. I want to see this.
31:30And I don't have to find it.
31:32He wants to find the woman that will take him for who he is and tell him,
31:35You don't have to be Random George. You don't need this in front of me. I don't want to see this.
31:42I want you for who you are. I want to take care of you.
31:45I love you.
31:46And it's not Random George that I love. It's George.
31:50What's up?
31:51You like him?
31:52You should go talk to him.
31:53You want to talk to him?
31:54About what?
31:55Anything.
31:56Anything?
31:57Yeah, come on.
31:58Don't get through it now.
31:59He's like half this bundle of joy, half scary.
32:08To show to the world who I am, because I don't like who I am.
32:13He's scared to reveal to the people who he is, because he doesn't like who he is.
32:17And when I'm having lunch with someone who I admire, like Chris Gethard, I find myself having to drink tea or coffee through the Morph suit.
32:34Can you talk to me?
32:36Chris doesn't know who he is.
32:38And again, he gets fucked by life.
32:42I've found the opportunity with Chris Gethard Show, with what he's wearing, to be the person who I want to be now.
32:50Under this identity in the Chris Gethard Show, he has found the ability to be who he wants to be, the way he wants to be, comfortably.
32:57For the eyes, it bumps.
33:04See if it burns the eyes.
33:06Very pretty smart.
33:09Wow.
33:10Fantastic.
33:11Ladies and gentlemen, Random George, here tonight.
33:18Welcome back to the show, Random George, translator, the man we only know as translator.
33:23How are you guys?
33:24I have missed your firm handshake, Random George.
33:26Hello, translator.
33:27Hello.
33:28How are you guys?
33:29Yes, sorry.
33:30I saw you on the video.
33:31He wants to say thank you for the video.
33:34I have an Armani bag.
33:39Random George, spreading candy and love and joy.
33:42Random George, will we ever know your true face?
33:45Maybe someday, he's not trying.
33:51Oh, a card.
33:52Thank you so much, Random George.
33:54Random George.
33:55Yeah.
33:56Can you sign?
33:57He would like if you could, even an hour later.
34:01Oh, no.
34:02I can sign, after the show.
34:04Name it up, though.
34:05Quickly, please.
34:06Highlight it where I wrote the word Greek once in an entire book.
34:11I love you, Random George.
34:12I love you, Random George.
34:13George, we gotta move on.
34:14The show's very packed.
34:15But I love you and I'm glad to see you.
34:16I just threw candy at Random Other Brian.
34:17Random George, so great to see you.
34:18Translator, great to see you.
34:19How's everything?
34:20Everything's good.
34:21How's everything?
34:22Great.
34:23Everything's great.
34:24I like that you guys didn't even bring on the man you have captured.
34:28That guy is...
34:29We're not even acknowledging his existence.
34:30All right.
34:32Thank you, Random George.
34:33Thank you, Translator.
34:34Great to see you guys.
34:35Maybe one day we'll get to the mystery.
34:36Bob Malone, let's put the randoms through a trial.
34:50Okay.
34:51I believe the randoms should come forward for this one, right?
34:53Where should we do this?
34:54Maybe right in front.
34:55I think right in front.
34:56Let's have Lauren, I feel like Melissa's down first.
34:59Or should we like stand over there?
35:01Oh yeah?
35:02Oh yeah.
35:03Or should we, like, stand over there?
35:05Oh, yeah, let's go over here.
35:06Let's do that.
35:06Because otherwise it would be awkward, but yeah.
35:08Yeah.
35:08Use the microphone.
35:09And now, Rob, you are going to have a staring contest with our randoms.
35:13Oh, no.
35:13You're going to see if you can win, and you're also going to tell us what you see inside their souls.
35:17Yeah.
35:18Okay, let's do it.
35:19Random Lauren, let's keep it quick.
35:23Don't forget the microphone.
35:24Right by the mic.
35:25Right by the mic.
35:26Let's start it up.
35:26When do we start?
35:27I'll say it right now.
35:28One, two, three, go.
35:33I think I blinked several times.
35:37Wow, okay.
35:38But it's not, it doesn't matter who wins or not.
35:40No.
35:42I would have made a different face then.
35:44Rob Malone, what did you see inside Random Lauren Soul?
35:46There was this, like, intensity as soon as we started.
35:49Actually, like, before she opened her eyes, it was a little, like, disconcerting.
35:54Okay.
35:54But not, not, not, I'm not saying, like, necessarily a bad way, but it was just, like, I was, like, that, like.
36:01Yeah, be honest.
36:02Okay.
36:02I mean, I am being honest.
36:03No, no, no, I know.
36:04Random Melissa, let's get you down here.
36:06So you find Random Lauren to be very intense.
36:08Very intense.
36:09And somewhat disconcerting.
36:10Well, it's just maybe I wasn't, I wasn't expecting that type of intensity yet.
36:13So that was what was disconcerting.
36:14Random Melissa looks like she is ready for a staring contest.
36:17Let's get closer to the mic.
36:19And one, two, three, let's go.
36:26She just blinked.
36:29Oh, this wasn't a not smiling contest.
36:31All right, contest officially over.
36:35Hazy rules.
36:36More importantly, Rob, what did you see inside her soul?
36:39Random Melissa, she doesn't give a shit.
36:40Okay.
36:41She really doesn't give a shit.
36:42In a good way or a bad way?
36:43I mean, she knew it was a staring contest and she just blinked.
36:46No, I was, I don't listen to instructions well.
36:50So you said no staring contest.
36:51You said staring contest and I thought like the kind where you're not supposed to laugh.
36:55So that's why I got like, yeah.
36:58Yeah.
36:58I mean, it's, I, I think it's, she's just, she's just young and she doesn't give a shit.
37:03Wow.
37:04Harsh.
37:04No, no, no.
37:05Harsh.
37:05No, no, no.
37:06She's just young and doesn't give a shit.
37:08That's the best phrase I could give someone.
37:10Okay.
37:10Oh.
37:11You mean like a punk rock.
37:12You didn't see the Super Bowl.
37:13I did see the Super Bowl.
37:14It was like, I don't give a shit or I don't give a crap or whatever.
37:17And then later Madonna was like, that was a really irresponsible teenager thing to do.
37:21Come on, Madonna.
37:23That was like the coolest thing.
37:25You're comparing Random Melissa to MIA's loose cannon behavior.
37:28Yeah, she just won me over.
37:29All right.
37:30Run over to World's Greatest Dancer.
37:33You got what, phones?
37:34No?
37:35Oh, Luke from North Dakota.
37:37I just emailed with this guy.
37:38How you doing, Luke?
37:39Good.
37:40How are you?
37:40I'm good, man.
37:41Good to talk to you on the phones.
37:42You sent a very nice email.
37:43Well, thank you for that.
37:45Yeah, yeah.
37:46Absolutely.
37:46I love your show.
37:48So what did you want to talk about tonight?
37:52I wish I knew I was on hold for long enough that I should come up with a topic.
37:57Thanks for just owning me.
37:59Yeah.
38:00Well, let me ask the Random Fish, the Human Fish, a question.
38:05Okay.
38:05Human Fish.
38:06A specific question?
38:07Human Fish, Jeremy Lin or Chicken Linguini?
38:11Oh, Jeremy Lin versus Chicken Linguini.
38:15Who wins?
38:16Chicken Linguini.
38:17Oh.
38:18You're in New York City, Fish.
38:21You show some respect to the new heart and soul of the New York Knicks, Fish.
38:25I've never disagreed with you.
38:26You've never even heard of Jeremy Lin, have you?
38:30All right.
38:31Luke, anything else you want to talk about?
38:32Uh, no, I'm good for now.
38:36And you guys, good luck on the show.
38:39Thanks for checking in.
38:40Dave from New Jersey.
38:41You're on the line.
38:42Dave from New Jersey.
38:45This is Michael from Atlanta.
38:46Michael from Atlanta.
38:48Welcome to the show.
38:49How are you?
38:50I'm good.
38:52I saw the caller right before me just talked about Jeremy Lin.
38:55I actually wanted to talk about him.
38:57We can still talk about Jeremy Lin, man.
38:59He's the hope of New York City right now.
39:01Yeah, he's killing it.
39:04I think he should be in the All-Star game.
39:06I was wondering if you think he should be.
39:07I think he should be in the rookie sophomore game,
39:09but the All-Star game seems like a reach to me after six games.
39:11Well, the Rising Stars game, yeah, he should be in that.
39:14I think he should be involved in All-Star weekend for sure.
39:17Yes, he should.
39:18And I also want to say, I just started watching the show, like, last week,
39:23and I watched all of them, and I love it.
39:25I love the LLC, and I was just wondering where I could get that shirt you're wearing.
39:31Oh, which shirt?
39:32I can't tell you where to buy anything, sir,
39:35but I can say you can watch our show at thechrisgethardshow.com,
39:38and there will be more aspects to that site coming quite soon.
39:43Thank you for asking.
39:45Due to the bylaws of public television,
39:47I once again cannot tell you where to buy any products,
39:49but I would encourage you to follow up on all your Chris Gethardt show viewing
39:53and needs at thechrisgethardshow.com.
39:58Thank you for the call, sir.
40:00What should we do?
40:02Okay, it's time for the fish.
40:04Ladies, this one's simple.
40:06The human fish is going to let you know what's on his mind.
40:08You're going to say what you think wins.
40:11He's going to let you know what he think wins.
40:13What he thinks wins.
40:14Human fish, there is a microphone directly above your head.
40:24Dubstep versus the foxtrot.
40:28Dubstep versus the foxtrot.
40:30Who wins?
40:32Foxtrot.
40:33Foxtrot.
40:34Dubstep.
40:34Dubstep.
40:37Foxtrot wins.
40:38Wow, okay.
40:39Human fish, what's next?
40:40The Iron Lady versus Iron Maiden.
40:49Iron Lady versus Iron Maiden.
40:51Who wins?
40:52Ladies?
40:53Iron Maiden.
40:54Iron Maiden.
40:54Am I allowed to pick Iron Maiden, too?
40:56Yes, you are.
40:58They both win.
40:59Both win.
41:00All right, human fish, what's next?
41:06Tie-dye.
41:07Human fish, sometimes I think you're just thinking
41:09of the knees off the top of your head.
41:12Tie-dye.
41:14Versus Jerry Garcia.
41:16Tie-dye versus Jerry Garcia.
41:18Okay, two things that usually go hand in hand.
41:20Jerry Garcia.
41:22Tie-dye?
41:23Jerry Garcia, okay.
41:25Human fish, what's on your mind?
41:30Knee-high boots.
41:34Versus Das Boot.
41:36Knee-high boots.
41:37Versus Das Boot.
41:40Knee-high boots.
41:41Das Boot.
41:42Das Boot!
41:43Wow, okay.
41:44Disseminable.
41:47Human fish?
41:54Richard Nixon.
41:56Versus Cynthia Nixon.
41:58Richard Nixon versus Cynthia Nixon.
42:00Cynthia Nixon.
42:01Cynthia Nixon.
42:02Richard Nixon.
42:03Cynthia Nixon.
42:04Human fish.
42:04They're asking for one more.
42:06Our writers are asking for one more.
42:10War paint versus the art of war.
42:15War paint versus the art of war.
42:17Who wins that very important battle?
42:22The art of war.
42:24The art of war.
42:25Both win.
42:27Wow.
42:28Stunning.
42:29Back to the phones.
42:30I believe Dave from New Jersey, you're on now.
42:33Hi, Chris.
42:33How are you?
42:34Good.
42:34How are you, Dave?
42:35What's up?
42:35Not much.
42:36I was just calling to endorse Melissa because I think she's my friend on DeviantArt.
42:42Ooh.
42:42What's up?
42:43I think.
42:44Okay.
42:44What's your name on DeviantArt?
42:45What's your name on DeviantArt?
42:46I actually don't remember.
42:48I don't remember?
42:49How the fuck am I supposed to find you?
42:51As being like the same, I don't know, I have like a few friends, so I think that's
42:55possible.
42:56Thank you for your...
42:57I didn't mean to be a mediator, which is like the hardest name to say on the phone,
43:00so there's no point even repeating it.
43:02Dave, okay.
43:03Very good endorsement.
43:04Anything else you want to talk about while we have you on the line?
43:06Uh, yeah.
43:07Did you get postcards from me yet or no?
43:09You're the guy who's been sending me all those crazy-ass postcards.
43:13I gotta show these postcards on the air.
43:15You send these awesome, crazy postcards.
43:17You know those are crazy, right?
43:20Yeah, I guess.
43:22They're awesome.
43:22Don't get me wrong.
43:23They're awesome.
43:24But you sent one that was like a deconstruction of the concept of the human fish.
43:28They're awesome.
43:29They're great.
43:29I'm gonna show them on the air.
43:31Oh, you don't have to do that.
43:32They're just for you.
43:33You don't need to show anything.
43:34That makes them sound crazier.
43:37That makes them sound crazier.
43:39Now I gotta show them on the air, bro.
43:41No, but those are great.
43:43Like, I'm excited and horrified at the same time.
43:46Dude, thank you so much for sending those.
43:47They're really cool.
43:48They're really cool.
43:50And Bethany did a great job on the 30 Rock.
43:52I screamed when I saw her, and my daughter almost fell out of my lap.
43:56Wow.
43:56Do you have phone calls?
43:57Will you guys decide?
43:59Just let me know when you're ready?
44:00Cool?
44:00They won't hear whispering through the mic, right?
44:02No, no, no.
44:02The mic will not go up over our PA here.
44:05We turned off the mics?
44:07Great.
44:07In the meantime, Peter from Montreal.
44:09Welcome to the show.
44:12Hey, Chris.
44:13Peter, I may have to cut you off if a decision is made.
44:15That being said, what's up?
44:17What do you want to talk about?
44:17Uh, first of all, I want to say I'm pretty nervous still.
44:23No need to be nervous, dude.
44:24We're all friends here.
44:26Um, well, I'd like to influence the decision by, please, pick Melissa.
44:33She's clearly the better choice.
44:35Wow.
44:35Okay, another endorsement from Melissa, from Peter, from Montreal.
44:38Peter, I appreciate the endorsement, but you were kind of mean about that.
44:41No, it's fine.
44:41I get it.
44:42I get it.
44:43Wow.
44:43I don't know.
44:44Awkward.
44:46Awkward weirdness.
44:46Peter, anything else?
44:48Um, yeah, I'd like to ask the human fish sign from the chat.
44:52Um, I believe it's Herman Cain versus Whitney Houston's Cocaine.
45:01Whitney Houston's Cocaine.
45:03Tasteless.
45:04Very tasteless.
45:05That being said, who wins?
45:12Whitney Houston's Cocaine?
45:14Uh, I mean, of course, but boom.
45:16Peter, thank you for the call.
45:19One more call.
45:21Naomi from New York.
45:22Welcome back to the show, Naomi.
45:23Good to hear from you again.
45:25Hey, uh, I was so busy last week I couldn't get through.
45:28Oh, that happens sometimes?
45:30Not as much of a problem this week, huh?
45:32Actually, I spent about 45 minutes straight calling.
45:37Okay, okay.
45:38So what's up, Naomi?
45:39I think we have a decision, so you're going to have to talk fast.
45:41Okay, um, I just wanted to say that you've always talked about how your name is Get Hard
45:45and it sucks, but I just wanted to say that I know how that feels because Naomi spelled
45:50backwards is I moan.
45:52I moan.
45:53Okay.
45:55I do agree.
45:56I mean, I do think the fact that your name spelled backwards is not as bad as what my name
46:02spells regularly.
46:02I know.
46:06I just feel your pain.
46:08Thank you for sympathizing, Naomi.
46:09Anything else you want to talk about tonight?
46:12Um, no, but, uh, I, the U-Tree was been down.
46:15I haven't been watching, but whoever is the new random, I love them all, so I don't mind.
46:20They were great.
46:20A great crop of randoms and I, all 11 of those people, I was like, I'd hang out with any of
46:24these people for 15 weeks.
46:26Absolutely.
46:26I'd hang out with either of you ladies for 15 weeks.
46:28I think, are we ready, Noah?
46:30Randoms.
46:32All right.
46:32Let's turn the mic back on.
46:33Do we have a decision?
46:34We do have a decision.
46:36We will say the same thing first, that everybody really kicked it.
46:39This is a really hard thing to do, guys.
46:41I remember this was the moment where I was like, freaking out, so we won't talk too long
46:45before.
46:46Um, but really, great job, everybody.
46:48And, um, I'm going to let the first random say it.
46:51I choose Melissa.
46:53Wow.
46:53Choose Melissa.
46:54Random Melissa is the new random of the show.
46:57Congratulations to Random Melissa.
46:59Congratulations, Random Lauren.
47:03It was a great fight, Random Lauren.
47:05Ladies and gentlemen.
47:08Welcome so much.
47:09Welcome to the show, Random Melissa.
47:11Thank you, Random Lauren.
47:13Thank you, everyone.
47:14I've just been informed that we have two more very awkward minutes of show.
47:18Two more very awkward minutes of show left to fill.
47:21Well, why don't we give Melissa a speech?
47:24Melissa a speech?
47:25Who's going to give the speech?
47:26No, no, I mean...
47:26You want her to just say a speech?
47:28Yeah.
47:28Yeah, sure, just randomly, yeah.
47:29All right.
47:31First, before I forget...
47:32Let's come to the mic.
47:33Okay, before I forget, here's your really girly lip gloss back.
47:36Wow, sharing lip gloss.
47:38Yeah, because of the show, we...
47:39No, no, no, we're not sharing lip gloss.
47:41Because of the show, we became friends.
47:43Okay.
47:43So we actually hung out on the weekend, and she left her girly lip gloss in my house.
47:46That's awesome, man.
47:47That's awesome.
47:47Yeah.
47:49Girlfriends!
47:49All right, uh, wow, I guess I don't really know what to say offhand.
47:55Does anyone want to give me some suggestions?
47:57Well, are you excited?
47:59How would you say excited, nervous, weirded out?
48:01What are you looking forward to in the next 15 weeks?
48:04Fuck Random Vin.
48:05Hey, everybody's yelling, fuck Random Vin.
48:07Random Vin was a real nice guy.
48:09You don't know, you're going to need competition.
48:11I think that's it.
48:12Paige from Tennessee and Greg from Alaska, you're the two who got cut off.
48:16So sorry about that.
48:17What are we going to do?
48:18Do we still have time to film?
48:19All right.
48:21The ending of this show is always so awkward, right?
48:24The beginning is awkward.
48:25Thank you guys for watching.
48:26We will fix up the live stream for next week.
48:28Thank you so much.
48:29We look forward to having you at Random Alyssa.
48:31Random Alyssa, our new era of the show is upon us.
48:33Thank you to Dan Klein.
48:35Thank you to Random George.
48:36Thank you to the Nanaman.
48:37Thank you to the LLC.
48:38Thank you to Mimi on the Hoops.
48:39Random Ange, random jeans.
48:41We look forward to what comes next.
48:43Alyssa, we're going to be here in person this week.
48:46Wait till you see the shit we got planned for you, Alyssa.
48:48We got some shit planned that we can't even advertise online because it's so fucked up.
48:53So get ready, Alyssa.
48:55Get ready.
48:56We'll see you then.
48:57Come on, singin' it.
49:02There we go.
49:05Oh, there we go.
49:19Oh, there we go.
49:21Oh, there we go.
49:51We're going to get it right at some point, I promise.
49:55Bear with us.
49:56Thank you so much.
49:57Thank you for supporting the show.
50:02What do you think of the new Random?
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