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00:00...Mutiny on the Bounty, Part 7.
00:03Captain Bly and most of the Loyalists, including myself, were forced onto a small rowboat.
00:09Then, the treacherous mutineers sailed back to a tropical island full of semi-naked women, for no fathomable reason.
00:16As midshipmen, I gathered a handful of young, girthy privates, and I assigned them to scrub the excrement.
00:24Scrub harder, private!
00:24Ah, Catherine, there is no more pivotal moment in Australian history than the Mutiny on the Bounty.
00:33Apart from everything before that, and everything after that.
00:36It says Mum, and there's a photo of you being suffocated by a woman with her arm.
00:39That's called a hug, Miranda.
00:41You know they named Chucky Bar after the Bounty?
00:43Did they? Is it good?
00:44Got a bunch of missed calls from Mel.
00:47Yes, so do I, but I can't deal with Mum today.
00:49Ah, Catherine, how envious everyone is of your ears to hear this story for the first time.
00:55The first time of many.
00:57Kate! Sean! I know you're in there!
01:03Boo!
01:04Mum!
01:04Wow, what a nice surprise!
01:06What are you doing here?
01:07Well, what do you expect? You don't answer my calls or texts.
01:10But thank the ancestors, Sean left his find my phone on. Hi, Sean.
01:14Hi, Mel!
01:15Oh, wow, look at this.
01:20Ooh.
01:21Feel that?
01:22You smoked the place yet?
01:24Yes, of course, Mum.
01:25Yeah, we did.
01:26Red River Gum, red box or narrow-leaved peppermint?
01:29Yeah, yeah, all good.
01:30Yeah.
01:31Oh, you make me so proud.
01:35How many people you reckon might have died here, then?
01:37None.
01:38A few?
01:39A few, I guess, yeah.
01:40Well, 29, technically.
01:42Although 17 have been sucked off.
01:46It wasn't Dad, actually. It was Great Uncle Alan.
01:48Alfred.
01:48Bloody dog your father was.
01:50Left me nothing but cold sores.
01:52Cold sores and me?
01:53Of course, Katie Koala Cockabong.
01:55Come here and let me bust you up, my darling.
01:57Oh.
01:58Excuse me, Kate.
01:59Take a seat, Mum.
02:00I have old sores, too.
02:02We know.
02:03I'm sorry we missed your call, Mel.
02:04We've been busy with the runnors.
02:06I can see that.
02:07Real busy with a sledgehammer.
02:09Who wants a cuppa?
02:10As long as it's bushels and don't low-tide me.
02:13Oh, as if I've ever low-tied at anyone.
02:14What do you think that is?
02:16Sorry, sorry.
02:17Um, big cups.
02:18Sorry.
02:19I'll just, um...
02:20You'll never be making me a cuppa.
02:24That's because you're dead.
02:25You can't even drink.
02:26So nice to be offered.
02:28Huh?
02:29Okay.
02:29What's taking so long?
02:31Your mother is able-bodied.
02:32Have her hand out refreshments.
02:34I haven't finished telling you my story about the bounty.
02:37Uh, sorry, Mum.
02:37I'm just going to take care of something.
02:39I'll just be one second.
02:39Sean, can you just do this?
02:41I'll just be one second.
02:42Out of here.
02:43Splendid.
02:44Now, you'll be interested to know that Bly, the famed navigator, turned to me constantly,
02:48poor sister.
02:48How many teabags now?
02:49One or...
02:50What?
02:51Two?
02:56After that drive, it's five.
02:58Yeah?
02:59I hope that poop bowl's been clean.
03:00I gave it a good wave, so I did.
03:02Okay, listen up, everyone.
03:04For the ongoing adventures of the bounty.
03:06Satan, hit the deck.
03:08Yep.
03:08No, not that.
03:09For this weekend only, you can watch TV for as long as you'd like.
03:13Binge your dead little hearts out.
03:15Come on.
03:16Just please, please do not bother me around my mum.
03:19Yeah?
03:19Because if she finds out there's spirits here, she'll assume that you're evil.
03:22How am I evil?
03:23I'm closing the gap in your cultural education.
03:25And that, everybody, is why here's a martini, Olive.
03:28Anyway, back to the point.
03:30She will make me move home, which means that you will all go back to being eternally bored.
03:38Thank you, Eileen.
03:40Okay.
03:40Satan?
03:41What?
03:42You're in charge, Private.
03:43No, I don't want to be in charge.
03:52Okay.
03:55Um, well, we could watch, uh, Two Hands, or Robber Stomper, or, um...
04:00What's that there with a haggard mammy and wee ones and boxes?
04:04Octomum, me and my 14 kids.
04:05Oh.
04:06That sounds dramatic.
04:07But that's me.
04:08I'm an octomum.
04:10I made the Holy Father throw me a ball.
04:12Quiet!
04:12Push the button for octomum.
04:15Octomum, no.
04:16Maybe we could want something a bit more fun for everyone.
04:18Grease!
04:19No, no, no, Grease 2.
04:20No.
04:20Grease.
04:21A pen.
04:22Done.
04:23Good.
04:24Try a bit.
04:24Now.
04:25Go to documentary.
04:27Yes, boss.
04:29Documentary.
04:29Now.
04:30The paths of Bath.
04:31A glorious meander down the laneways of my hometown.
04:34Ah!
04:37Ah!
04:40Here we go.
04:42The cobblestone paths of Bath.
04:44I hate it.
04:46Is it all paths?
04:47Kill me, no.
04:48Beautiful cobblestone.
04:49Beautiful cobblestone.
04:51Gorgeous.
04:51Ah!
04:52Oh, the texture.
04:54Sublime.
04:57Still can't make a bed, eh, bub?
04:59Because you always did it for me, Mum.
05:00I made your bed so you had time for more important things, like being a lawyer and fighting for
05:05chains.
05:05I wasn't saving the world, Mum.
05:07I worked 70 hours a week to help big companies eat little companies.
05:09I worked two jobs, plus my art, to pay for the degree that you're not even using.
05:13It was a nothing job, Mum.
05:14I was the token black fella they could use on their annual report.
05:16Then use them back as a stepping stone.
05:19Go corporate, set yourself up, and then boom.
05:21Your legal aid era.
05:22I suppose this is what you call cultural appropriation?
05:25What do you want from me?
05:25To make the most of your talent.
05:27The others have turned mutinous.
05:28Instead of making beds for a living.
05:29They are blocking the television, and I simply must know why they chose bluestone to cobble
05:33the hobble on Bobbleberry Way.
05:34Stop!
05:35Stop what?
05:36Caring about my baby girl?
05:38Sorry.
05:39I just, um, I just need to take care of something.
05:41Where are you going?
05:43We're having a good yarn.
05:44Move!
05:47If the boss says we're watching Pazabath, then we're watching Pazabath!
05:51Satan!
05:52Do something moron!
05:54Oi!
05:54Sit down!
05:56Down!
05:57In your seats, hurry up!
05:58Come on.
06:02Four Swedish strangers in one Swedish sauna, and things get steamy.
06:08This is Hotbox.
06:09What on earth is that?
06:11It's a Swedish reality show, it's called Hotbox, and everyone's obsessed with it.
06:13Help me.
06:14The Swedes are nothing but a bunch of fornicating naked pagans.
06:19Why are they so...
06:20wet?
06:22They're stuck in a sauna until they hook up or dehydrate.
06:24There's like 12 seasons, you're gonna love it.
06:25Yeah?
06:25So Karen did sex with Ben, which is crazy because she doesn't even find...
06:29Look at their perky hair.
06:30Sweat is not the potential...
06:31Yes!
06:32Their perky... hair.
06:34No, I don't want...
06:35Hotbox and large...
06:36Gideon, what's the problem?
06:37The only thing I wish to see exquisitely laid is moist cobblestone.
06:41Okay, I'll get the iPad ready.
06:47There.
06:48Happy?
06:48No, I don't want this tiny life raft.
06:51I want control of the original vessel.
06:53Sit down.
06:54Down.
06:55Down.
06:56Down.
06:57Down.
06:58Down.
06:59Down.
07:00Down.
07:01Down.
07:02All right.
07:03Borders are orders.
07:03Move, Munch!
07:05Excuse me, Lindy.
07:05I've just got to sit next to the boss.
07:07There was a good bot.
07:10Satan, you know, if you don't stand up to him, it's never gonna change, yeah?
07:16Now I've got to go bleach the toilet for my mother.
07:28Oh!
07:29You on Marketplace?
07:31Yeah, yeah, yeah, just trying to offload
07:33some of Great Uncle Alfred's old stuff.
07:42$300.
07:43Oh, don't know if anyone's going to pay that for that.
07:45Vintage?
07:46Non-smoker?
07:48Black-owned? A capital B-L-A-K?
07:51Great Uncle Alfred was actually white.
07:54It's Kate's now, isn't it?
07:56Buyers are desperate for anything black-adjacent.
07:58Oh, maybe with your art,
07:59but an old chair with a bum dude?
08:02Rangaroo's bumbed in.
08:04Really?
08:05It is now.
08:07I am so hot.
08:08I am hotter.
08:09You are far less hot than me.
08:11I am hotter and I will prove it.
08:14She took her temperature
08:15and it turns out she was.
08:17Bad enough your bodies have rutted.
08:19No, this filth is ruttin' your mains.
08:21Who wants to leave the sauna
08:22and go go naked in the snow, yeah?
08:24I do, but not with you.
08:27I did want to leave.
08:28But not with the swim.
08:31Watch this, not that.
08:36Those two are just bosom friends.
08:37They can't possibly hook up, as they say.
08:40Miranda, women can be with women.
08:43Because they are in sauna,
08:44which is actually...
08:45Pardon?
08:46They're called lesbians.
08:48Holy Father and Mother Mary,
08:49coach my eyes out with burning sex.
08:51But real lesbians don't look like that.
08:53Real lesbians look like, um...
08:54Satan.
08:56And they don't really like saunas.
08:59They like things like rescue dogs and protesting.
09:03What do they protest for?
09:04For their rights.
09:05What kind of rights?
09:06Their rights to party.
09:07See?
09:11What did I tell you?
09:13This is really the traditional way to say thanks.
09:15Feels right to me, bub.
09:16Oh, what a blazes.
09:19Oh, that's good.
09:23You've done all right for yourself, eh, boy?
09:26Free mansion, fallen into your lap?
09:28I'm not on the title or anything.
09:29All this peace and quiet.
09:33Artists like me, we crave fresh landscapes.
09:36New vibes, new skies.
09:41Quietness can be overrated.
09:43City's not the same since Kate left.
09:45For so long it was just me and her.
09:47We were a team.
09:50And now there's you.
09:52Right in the middle.
09:53What's going on here, then?
10:07I cleaned all that, but yesterday.
10:09Yes, and I really appreciate your invisible dusting, Eileen,
10:11but my mom appreciates clean grout.
10:13For heaven's sake, has this woman been cannonized?
10:16You're here scrubbing the tub.
10:18Sean's in there, grinding her trutters.
10:20What?
10:21Kate.
10:23Hey, so, um,
10:25I've done something that you may not appreciate at first,
10:28but, in fact, I think you'll find it's actually rather beautiful.
10:31What did you do to Mom?
10:32What? Nothing. Wait, who's in here?
10:34It doesn't matter, nothing.
10:35Nothing to Emma.
10:36What happened, Sean?
10:37It was just a purely traditional foot rub.
10:39What?
10:40And then I asked her to move in with us.
10:42What?
10:42I know, I know, I know, but we have eight bedrooms, Kate.
10:45Six are filled with ghosts.
10:46She'll be filled with children.
10:47I think she's just lonely.
10:50I don't care. I don't want to live with my mom, Sean.
10:52I'm 30 years old.
10:53I just want to be a normal person and live with my man and my ghosts.
10:57She's unpacking her car.
10:59Lovely.
10:59Great.
11:01You realise this was her plan all along.
11:02She has guilt-tripped you into this.
11:04Guilt-tripped?
11:05She didn't guilt-trip me, Kate.
11:06She just mentioned that I should feel bad about inheriting this house
11:08and muscling my way in the middle of you two.
11:10Then she called me barbed and her feet were in my hands,
11:12and, oh, my God, she did guilt-trip me.
11:14Wait, all this time, I could have been using my tears of water.
11:17Get things.
11:18It's not your fault, Sean.
11:19Mum knows that you're an easy target.
11:22I'll sort it out.
11:24Yep.
11:24Mayday!
11:30Mayday!
11:31The life raft has gone down!
11:33That's it.
11:34No more hotboxes.
11:35We're going back to Paltzapath.
11:36It's time to overthrow the dastardly mutineers.
11:41Do we have to, boss?
11:42I mean, they look really happy.
11:44How dare you defy me, Private?
11:45I order you to capsize their vessel!
11:47The girls are hooking up,
11:49and I'm boiling alone like a sad little Frankfurt.
11:51Well, then no-one can watch anything.
11:55I'd sooner never see another path of Bath
11:57than let the traitors win.
11:59Attack!
12:01The TV's dead.
12:04After I go psych myself up,
12:05where are you going, man?
12:07You're supposed to go down with the ship!
12:12So is this any good?
12:14What have I missed?
12:15I realise it was your hero.
12:16Lesbians.
12:18Give him a chop.
12:19Get him ready for this horse.
12:21And I don't care how you chop him up.
12:23That's up to you, champion.
12:24Yon.
12:26Juice your limes into the barrel.
12:29While you're cooking, champion, consider this.
12:32We all know people who can be controlling and manipulative.
12:35Whether it be family, mates, or someone at work.
12:38If people are constantly bossing you around
12:40and taking advantage of you,
12:42it's time to introduce boundaries
12:44and voice your feelings out loud, mate.
12:46Voice my feelings out loud?
12:48Mate, just how much lime juice?
12:50I stand firm in my worth.
12:52I stand firm in my worth.
12:54The only boss of me is me.
12:56The only boss of me is me.
13:00Okay.
13:01In goes a quarter of a cup of lime juice.
13:03Oh.
13:04Well, I've got you.
13:04Don't forget to like and subscribe and all that stuff.
13:07Mum, we need to talk about this whole moving in thing.
13:10Don't worry.
13:10It's all sorted.
13:11I've unpacked, got my art stuff all settled in.
13:14Wow, that's a lot of stuff you've brought.
13:17Come here.
13:18I've been working on something special I want to show you.
13:23The brown represents the river out back.
13:28The black is for you.
13:29And I'll put some white in for Sean.
13:31See this line here, bud?
13:33Mm-hmm.
13:33It's me.
13:35Because now I'm here.
13:37Watching over you both.
13:39Forever.
13:40Hmm.
13:41When is it you'll be kicking her out then?
13:43It's, um...
13:45It's really beautiful, Mum.
13:47Stay as long as you want.
13:48That woman's a genius.
13:49I'm not here to sex.
13:53But to be clear, I'm also not here not to not sex.
13:56Okay, change of plan.
13:58I need you to haunt my mum out of this house.
14:00Because if I kick her out, it's going to break her heart.
14:02So I need you all to do it for me.
14:04Catherine, can't you see I'm in the middle of a mutinous revenge?
14:08Hang on.
14:09I'm giving you the opportunity to be your worst selves,
14:11to do the ghosty thing.
14:12You love that.
14:13Gideon, you can be in charge.
14:14You can lead the whole mission.
14:15No, thank you.
14:16Lindy, you can do the blah, blah thing, right?
14:18With the flickering lights.
14:20Maybe later.
14:21Come on, guys.
14:22You'll ghosts.
14:23Be ghosts.
14:23Maybe being trapped in a sauna with semi-nude.
14:26You know what?
14:27I'll just do it myself then.
14:28Thank you so much.
14:29Thank you for nothing.
14:31Great work.
14:35Catherine is being such a call right now.
14:39Oh, my God.
14:40Yes.
14:47Yeah, you know,
14:48I'm just going to tell her I made a terrible mistake.
14:49No, you can't do that because then she'll hate you forever
14:50and then I will have to break up with you just to get some peace.
14:53Terrible.
14:53Have you seen Satan anywhere?
14:54The poltroon has abandoned ship.
14:56Oh, so you want to help now?
14:58Really?
14:59Catherine?
15:00Ghost face?
15:03Wow.
15:07And?
15:07Helpful ghost?
15:08No.
15:09Oh.
15:10I mean, even if she doesn't recognise your face,
15:12surely she's going to recognise your...
15:14your gate-kate.
15:15She's just going to go Kate-kate.
15:23Mum, quick!
15:23I heard something in the hallway,
15:24something creepy and weird.
15:26Stay behind me.
15:27It's the lady of the manor.
15:38I heard she was murdered.
15:40I knew you didn't smoke this place.
15:41Well, I was going to eventually.
15:46It's probably a chancer from Marketplace.
15:48What?
15:49No.
15:50Yes, it happens.
15:51You swap a few DMs,
15:52you give them the address.
15:54But look,
15:54that doesn't look like someone from Marketplace.
15:55It looks like someone from beyond the grave.
15:57Oi!
15:58You!
15:59Mum, mum, mum, mum,
16:00mum, she looks evil, don't...
16:01Guys, mum, stop you back here!
16:03Mum, wait!
16:04Where you think you've got?
16:05No, no, no.
16:06Hang on.
16:07Just pay for it, you cheapskate!
16:09Mum, wait!
16:10Oh!
16:10Oh!
16:10Oh!
16:11Oh!
16:11Oh!
16:11Oh!
16:12Oh!
16:12Oh!
16:12Oh!
16:12Oh!
16:13Oh!
16:13Oh!
16:13Oh!
16:14Oh!
16:15Oh!
16:15Oh!
16:15Oh!
16:16Oh!
16:17Oh!
16:17Oh!
16:17What?
16:18Sean?
16:19That's not Sean.
16:20That's not Sean.
16:22What a spooky little ghost.
16:24Ha!
16:24Ha!
16:25Ha!
16:25Ha!
16:26Ha!
16:26Ha!
16:28Hmm.
16:29Yeah.
16:30So you made your man dress up like an old woman
16:32to haunt me out of this house?
16:33It does sound weird when you put it like that, yeah.
16:35Do you hate me that much?
16:36Oh!
16:36Mum, I love you.
16:37You know that.
16:37You know that I love you.
16:38I just don't want to be judged all day, every day.
16:40You know?
16:42I get enough of that already.
16:44From Sean?
16:45No.
16:46No.
16:46Sean's great.
16:51So all that burnout stuff wasn't just the job?
16:56I felt like I was disappointing you all the time.
16:59Barb, you could never.
17:01But then why do you act like it?
17:03Because I know that I disappoint you.
17:06I just want you to know that you're capable of big things.
17:09Yeah, but chasing those big things,
17:10it doesn't give me much time to just be me.
17:12You know?
17:13Psst.
17:13Okay.
17:14The TV is asking if we're still watching Hotbox.
17:17And I know you're busy being a disappointment to your mum.
17:19But we are...
17:20Still.
17:20Watching Hotbox.
17:22And you see, Astrid just fornicated with Sven.
17:24But he's going steady with Corinne.
17:26And Carl's in love with Astrid.
17:28Thus, we need...
17:28What I'm saying is...
17:30I just need some space to live my life the way I want to live it.
17:36And that means I kind of need you to leave.
17:38I think she means us.
17:46No, she's definitely talking to her mum.
17:48I think also it is us.
17:50And if we give Kate some more privacy,
17:51then maybe she'll give us some more Hotbox time.
17:56No, all good, bub.
17:57Mum will be fine.
17:59Don't you worry about me.
18:01My Katie koala cuckabop.
18:02No.
18:07Place gave me the creeps anyway.
18:10Love you, mum.
18:10Yeah.
18:11Love you too, bub.
18:12Ta-da.
18:13Bye, Mel.
18:14Thanks for the visit.
18:19Drive safe.
18:27You're money or you're life!
18:32Bloody motorised carriages.
18:42Oi!
18:42Oh, good.
18:45Yes, it's you.
18:46The mutineers have a bad name.
18:47I've got something I want to say.
18:49Oh, yes?
18:51It's time to introduce some boundaries
18:53and voice my feelings out loud.
18:55I stand firm in my worth.
18:57The only boss of me is me.
19:00And remember,
19:00if you like this video,
19:01please rate and subscribe.
19:04What in blasted hell are you talking about?
19:06I want to watch the shows that I want to watch.
19:09If you say that's okay.
19:11Well,
19:12one never suspects
19:13the bitter taste or portrayal
19:15of one's own seaman.
19:18If only I could say
19:19it was for the first time.
19:23Anyway,
19:24the vessel is yours.
19:28Sick.
19:29Might as well.
19:35No,
19:36I never got to be the boss of anything.
19:39Only myself
19:40and the octomum
19:42know the true pain of mothering.
19:44The lack of respect.
19:46Sacrificing of me nethers.
19:49How do I cope
19:50day after day
19:51after day?
19:52I guess I'll never know.
19:58Did you want to watch octomum?
20:02It's not too much trouble.
20:04It's no trouble at all.
20:09Octomum was given stitches
20:11for consistently tear.
20:12I guess we've got this
20:15to look forward to one day.
20:17Yeah.
20:18One day.
20:19Two of octomum's newborns
20:21be from each mammal.
20:22While she puts another
20:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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