- 2 months ago
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00:00Ah, Kate, Kate, Kate, it's got to be much higher than that.
00:09Yeah, and lower.
00:10What was wrong with the paintings of the kangaroos,
00:12Hopsy and Jumperkins?
00:13Oh, careful, watch your fingers, you need those for Jazzercise.
00:15Oh, you missed.
00:17What you need to do is go to TAFE and get a Cert III in hammering,
00:19because right now...
00:19Would you guys please shut up?
00:22See?
00:26See what?
00:27Why you're so wound up when we're just being helpful?
00:30It's been ages since you and Sean, you know...
00:33Groped for trout in the brownie stream.
00:35Bumped uglies.
00:36Done it.
00:36Made sweet...
00:37Guys, there are parts of my life that are private.
00:39Yeah, so stay out of their private parts.
00:41Well, no, that's kind of the problem.
00:42Except for me, it has been ways.
00:4342 days and 33 minutes, to be exact.
00:46Although that's from post-coitus,
00:47so if that's from the moment of initiation,
00:49well, it's more like 35 minutes...
00:52Oh, oh, oh, you did a stinky...
00:56I've got to.
00:57Got to go.
01:02Hey.
01:03Hey.
01:07Do you know we haven't done it in, like, weeks?
01:1042 days, not that uncanny.
01:12I am obviously counting.
01:14How do we let this slide?
01:20Oh, Gideon.
01:21You know, when I was struggling to get in the mood,
01:24I often lay back and think of England.
01:27Beautiful, erotic England.
01:29What?
01:30The thick, sooty air, the fox hunting, the teeth.
01:34Here, let me help you.
01:36God save our gracious king.
01:42I'm going.
01:43I'm going.
01:45I'm done, done.
01:46Gideon.
01:47God save the...
01:49Oh.
01:49Yeah.
01:50Okay.
01:51You know what?
01:52Log off, Hanson.
01:52Let's sort it out now.
01:53Come on.
01:54Now, now, now?
01:55Oh, well, I'll have a shower, obviously.
01:57No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:58It's not that.
01:59It's just I'm waiting for an important package.
02:01So is Kate.
02:03What is it?
02:04It's connectivity-related.
02:07Finally, you're getting the telegraph.
02:09So much more reliable than the cursed skyways.
02:12It's the Wi-Fi.
02:12Isn't that what I said?
02:14Fly where?
02:14No, no, it's not Wi-Fi.
02:16And look, I'm all up for a little maintenance quickie,
02:19but can we also just do something special?
02:21Oh.
02:21Oh.
02:22Shawnee wants to be swept off his feet.
02:24Yeah.
02:25Leave the sweeping to the womenfolk.
02:27Why don't we just do, like, a date night?
02:29Like a romance reboot?
02:31Yes.
02:31Yes, I love it.
02:33And let's do it.
02:34Where?
02:35Anywhere but here.
02:36Can I come?
02:37We just can't go past the fence, obviously.
02:39Is that OK?
02:39Just because I can't go past the fence physically.
02:41Do you want to book it?
02:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:43Yeah.
02:44I love us!
02:45Best couple ever.
02:47You, me and Shawnee, you, me and Shawnee.
02:51I wore this one to the upfronts in 83.
02:54It's pretty shiny, Lindy.
02:55Have you been to the pub?
02:56I mean, like, a nice top and jeans qualifies as black tie.
02:59Kate, please.
03:00OK, I'll wear some shoulder pads.
03:02Oh, this one's from the Logies in 84.
03:05That was the night that Dale told me that he'd bought Ram's head and he proposed to hide
03:09me in the turret from his wife.
03:12Lindy, Dale sounds pretty domineering.
03:14So domineering.
03:16But when I moved in, I relaxed too much.
03:20I snacked on foods.
03:21I fluffed in bed.
03:23And do you know what happened?
03:25You had healthy bales.
03:26You married my mum, Kate.
03:28My mum.
03:30So.
03:30Lindy, that's really bad.
03:32Yeah.
03:32But we're not talking about them.
03:35We're talking about us.
03:36And you and Shawnee and how he loves you for your big brain.
03:40Brain?
03:40And my sense of humour.
03:42Sure.
03:42And my work ethic.
03:44Yeah.
03:44And you are so cute for believing that from a man.
03:47He's not going to marry my mum, Lindy.
03:49No.
03:49No.
03:50No.
03:50He only talks to her every second day and he just turned down sleeping with you after
03:5642 days of celibacy.
03:57I wouldn't worry about it.
04:01Okay.
04:02What do you think?
04:04It's like the old saying goes, always judge a book by its cover.
04:09That's not quite.
04:12It's Confucius.
04:13It's a poem.
04:15Hi, is this the cover in?
04:17Yeah.
04:18Hi.
04:18Um, I'd like to book a table for 7pm.
04:22Yeah, I'll hold.
04:23What's the point of all this romance malarkey?
04:26Knickers down, up the duff and get to making a pair of wee hands to scrub the bag.
04:31Well, there's more to life than just labour, Eileen.
04:34Why, I once experienced the affection of the most gorgeous creature, Jemima.
04:39The physical connection.
04:41Our bodies becoming one.
04:42God help us.
04:44If you're asking me, the thing with Kate is,
04:48she has the hysteria, like Miranda's mummy.
04:51Oh, I beg your pardon?
04:54Yes, that's right.
04:55The doctor attempted to cure her with those pelvic massages.
04:58You gave her a good hard cure.
05:01Every Thursday, sometimes twice.
05:04No, it had nothing to do with bedtime activities.
05:07Virginal there.
05:08And proud of it.
05:09I was engaged to a gentleman.
05:11A war hero, no less.
05:13Wasn't exactly going to sully myself before the Napsules.
05:15Even now, the thought of being touched by another is nauseating.
05:17Of course, it's nauseating now.
05:19It's called throoming woman.
05:21And I have been smart enough to avoid that for a hundred years.
05:24Wait, wait, wait, hang on, hang on, hang on.
05:26Wait, are you saying you've never been throomed before?
05:28Sorry, every table is free.
05:31Why didn't you put me on hold?
05:34Munch, you need a good throoming.
05:36Trust me.
05:37Why don't you do that shorn bloke?
05:38Uh, sorry, you know what?
05:39Doesn't matter, something's coming.
05:40No.
05:41Go on.
05:42Do it, just give it a crack.
05:43Go on, it's a rite of passage, Miranda.
05:45It's going to be painful.
05:47Off you pop, come on.
05:48Ah, leave the poor Colleen alone.
05:50She's afeard is all.
05:52I am not afeard because afeard is not a word.
05:55And I will have all of you know that in 1914, I wore an ankle-length dress to the premiere's Christmas dinner.
06:01Yes, I showed ankle at night on a holiday.
06:04So if any of you think I am afeard, well then I have something to buy you.
06:09Aw.
06:11Welcome, Sean.
06:13Well done, Tali.
06:14Yumi's remembered.
06:16Yes.
06:20Do I really have to wear the gloves?
06:22Yes, you do.
06:23Now call for Sean.
06:24Why?
06:25Because in the movies, when a woman gets a makeover, she walks down the stairs and shows the love of her life.
06:30How beautiful she is when she actually makes an effort.
06:33Like in Greece, when Sandy stops being so frigid.
06:35You're Sandy.
06:37Sean, um, can you come here for a second?
06:40Great, now just stand normal.
06:41Fine.
06:42No, act natural, normal.
06:44Okay, I said normal.
06:45Why are you being like this?
06:46Oh, she's making a holy show of herself.
06:48Jeez, they could be sisters.
06:50Just like those witches in Practical Magic.
06:52You guys know that scene with the lime and the coconut song?
06:55That everyone was talking about.
06:57Because I didn't know it.
06:58I didn't ever watch it.
06:59I think it hurt someone.
07:01This hand here?
07:02Okay.
07:02On your hip, like this?
07:03Yes, okay.
07:04So look at me, look at me.
07:05I want you to breathe in, soften your eyes and say, like that.
07:08Roon.
07:09Roon with your shoulders.
07:10Roon.
07:11Roon.
07:11Roon.
07:12Roon.
07:13You're not doing it.
07:14Roon.
07:14Roon.
07:14Roon.
07:15Roon.
07:16Roon.
07:16Okay, action.
07:17Okay.
07:17And we're walking slowly.
07:18Let's do the music.
07:20No, let the music continue for that special touch of paradise.
07:27Yes.
07:28Okay.
07:28Just a touch of paradise.
07:31It's like, come, we're going to have to eat in tonight.
07:34All right.
07:35You, you, you dressed up.
07:37Yeah.
07:38Yeah.
07:39I thought we were going out tonight.
07:40Yeah, no, I know, I know.
07:41I'm sorry.
07:42It's just this delivery's changed again.
07:44It's now between 6 and 9 p.m.
07:46Oh.
07:47And then there's some damn flamingos.
07:49Anyway, I just, I have to accept a delivery person.
07:52If I miss it, then I have to do that seven hour round trip back to the deep to collect it.
07:55Yeah.
07:56You had your hair done and it's all...
07:59Can you change?
08:02And just a touch, it's a...
08:04Hey, Lindy, can you stop, please?
08:05Right.
08:06I was really looking forward to going out tonight.
08:08I know, I know, I know.
08:09I'm really, really sorry.
08:10Okay, how about this?
08:11I will cook and I will get dressed up too.
08:15And it'll be fun.
08:15We'll just, like, have a night of it.
08:18Hmm.
08:19Yeah?
08:19Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:22I'll see what we've got in the kitchen.
08:28You all right?
08:33You're acting gammy, you are.
08:35You're acting gammy with your...
08:37gammy face.
08:38I was going to make duck a la range, but we don't have any duck.
08:54Oh.
08:54Or l'range, so I'm making potato a la potato.
09:00Don't be mashing your potatoes up and down like that.
09:03You're insane.
09:04Okay, that's the delivery.
09:05Can you, um, can you keep mashing?
09:11Oh, mate.
09:15Oi, what do you miss more, food or girls?
09:18Well, when I was alive, I had plenty of girls, but I was hungry all the time.
09:21Yeah.
09:21It's too dry, it's too dry.
09:22So, food?
09:23You?
09:26Girls, mate.
09:27Girls.
09:27Obviously, no contest.
09:29Did you have a favourite?
09:30Oh, mate.
09:33Oh, there were so many of them, you know.
09:35It sort of all blew her into one...
09:37big girl.
09:39I loved big girls.
09:40Yeah?
09:41Most of the ex-convict girls I dated were really skinny.
09:43Yeah, from dieting.
09:45Dysentery.
09:46Gross.
09:48I dated an ex-con once.
09:49Yeah?
09:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:51We, um, went through the drive-thru, got hot and spicy.
09:53Oh, so breasts and thighs.
09:55Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:56Yeah, a whole bucket of them.
09:58Sounds saucy.
09:59Oh, there was sauce, mate.
10:00There was sauce.
10:01Don't worry, you're a pretty little face, yeah.
10:04Sweet and sour.
10:06So good.
10:07Chips for days.
10:08It's the crunch when you're bitten to that chicken.
10:14What about the girl?
10:15What girl?
10:17Okay, yeah, yeah, no worries.
10:18Coming now.
10:23Uh, hey, I'm at the front door, but I can't see you.
10:25Where are you?
10:26I don't know, mate.
10:27Well, I'm at some doors.
10:28Okay, which side are you on?
10:30On the left side?
10:32Is that the south wing or the north wing?
10:34How would I know?
10:36Okay, just please, please stay there.
10:38I really need this package for tonight.
10:39It's for me and my girlfriend.
10:41My dear, my.
10:44Uh, hello?
10:46Hello?
10:50Hello?
10:50I can't believe you just drove off with zero notifications.
11:05All right, let's, let's phones down, because it's take time.
11:07Yes, yes, sorry, sorry, sorry.
11:08You know what, Kate?
11:11This looks great, considering all we had was a sack of potatoes.
11:15Yeah.
11:16Yeah, and hey, you know when before I said that your hair was all, ah, it's actually really
11:22beautiful.
11:23Oh.
11:23Really?
11:24It suits you.
11:25Oh, I'm not going to do that.
11:28Everything okay?
11:29Yes, fine.
11:30Okay.
11:31Tits and teeth?
11:31About your lashes?
11:32He's being grumpy.
11:33Thank you so much for having us, Kate.
11:35They're all here, aren't they?
11:37Yeah.
11:37Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
11:38Mate, I suggest a minuet to break the tension.
11:41It's the chicken salt, Kate.
11:42These potatoes need chicken salt.
11:44Satan, just get your face out of Sean's food.
11:45But they need chicken salt!
11:47No, no, no, by all means, Satan, go ahead.
11:49You're not the boss of me.
11:50Hey, it was your idea to eat in.
11:52Look, sorry, can you just please give us some space?
11:56He's obviously not talking to me, so...
11:58Kate, may I have a sniff?
12:01Right, you two.
12:02Ah!
12:03I'll be needing a longer lamb.
12:04Is everything okay?
12:05Obviously not talking to me.
12:07If you can just reach down and sort of yank them up, I think it will improve his mood.
12:11Kate, can you just, can you ask him to leave?
12:14Okay, now it's very important that we don't lose our cool.
12:17June, listen.
12:18It's very important we stay calm and we listen, okay?
12:24Sit yourself down.
12:26Not you.
12:28Munch, take a seat.
12:31Yeah?
12:35We be needing to talk.
12:38Munch, welcome to your intervention.
12:41Now, I've been to many of these before.
12:43In fact, I've had a few myself.
12:45Basically, you sit around, you judge your mate for being a dickhead, but in a safe space.
12:49Yeah.
12:50What's going on, sorry?
12:51I don't...
12:51What's happening?
12:52I know what you were after doing with that wee delivery man.
12:55And we know, because Eileen told us.
12:58Yeah.
12:58Many years ago, I was after seeing the devil drink take hold of me husband and most of me children.
13:06That's right, Eileen.
13:07Addiction can strike at any age.
13:10Ooh, whoopsie.
13:11There's a full plate of food, isn't it, in front of a man friend?
13:13And that's so brave.
13:15The minuet is such a bright, brisk little number, much like my delicious little Jemima.
13:22You know what?
13:23I'm going to do it.
13:24Okay.
13:25Dear ghosts, can you please just leave us alone and let us enjoy our date in peace?
13:32Thank you for saying that.
13:33So, you should go.
13:35He means you.
13:36And you too.
13:36And I'm going to go as well, thank you, as a choice that I have made.
13:41For dance.
13:42Oh, okay.
13:43Yes.
13:44A dance I choose.
13:45I'm choosing to go for a dance.
13:47Hmm.
13:47Okay.
13:48Do the dance?
13:49Sorry, so, let me get this straight.
13:51So, first you mocked me for never throoming and now you chastised me for throoming too much.
13:55I mean, come on.
13:56This is perfectly normal, guys.
13:58The boys used to call it the anger phase.
14:00Up next, we'll be bargaining.
14:01So, I'm addicted, am I?
14:03Am I?
14:03What about you?
14:05With your obsession with fried food.
14:07When you and your leather-bound gorillas were infesting this place, I never saw one cooked
14:10fred to burn.
14:11We were cooking meth.
14:12Plus, there's carrot and coleslaw.
14:14As well as that white crap.
14:16And you, Eileen.
14:17Oh, high and mighty Eileen.
14:19But you were just as sloshed as the rest of your wretched family.
14:21It was only after drinking to cope with all the drunks.
14:24Hey, hey, hey.
14:24It's just the throoming talking.
14:26Okay?
14:26It's not her.
14:27She got me.
14:27She got me.
14:28And what about you?
14:29Yes, you.
14:30You silly, dimwitted dingleberry.
14:32Oh, no.
14:32So what did you do?
14:33Goitus, you lost your gold.
14:35And you're mine.
14:36I feel judged, but safe.
14:41I am finally feeling something after a hundred years of utter boredom, and you want to take
14:45that away from me.
14:46Sorry?
14:47No.
14:48No.
14:49No.
14:50I am just getting started.
15:06It was either acceptance or denial.
15:08I don't know.
15:09I never got this far.
15:10We should have gone with the exorcism.
15:11One, and bend the knees.
15:16One, and lower the heels.
15:19One, and...
15:22What?
15:24Yeah, just keep...
15:25Okay, Kate, okay.
15:26Just bear in mind, I can't actually see the instructor here.
15:28We're just...
15:28We're going around in circles.
15:30Well, at least I'm trying.
15:31You left me to cook my own romantic dinner while you went and chased some rando package.
15:35Rando?
15:36Kate, this package is actually kind of important.
15:38This is a disaster.
15:40No, this is passion.
15:42They'll be tearing each other's clothes off in a second.
15:44I just wanted to leave the house, Sean.
15:46I have to deal with the ghosts every day.
15:47I know.
15:49Sean, is she talking about the convict?
15:50You only have to deal with me.
15:53Do you see how unfair that is?
15:54Unfair?
15:55Unfair, Kate?
15:56What do you want me to do?
15:57Just bang my head so I can see them too?
15:59Incoming!
16:00Incoming!
16:01Give me a break!
16:03You know what?
16:03That's fine.
16:05Sean, Sean, I wasn't talking to you.
16:07Yeah, what's new?
16:09Sean, wait.
16:10Sometimes you just have to let a man storm out, okay?
16:14They have really big feelings and they don't know where to put them.
16:17Dale used to do this all the time, okay?
16:19He would storm out for weeks or months on end.
16:21I was a total mess.
16:22But the uncertainty made it kind of hotter.
16:24Once again, Lindy, that is not reassuring.
16:27Yes, girl.
16:28Get those shoulders out.
16:29That'll...
16:30That'll get him.
16:30Oh, my God!
16:37What are you doing?
16:39Stay there.
16:39What is your problem?
16:40I don't have a problem.
16:41Just stay still.
16:43Why would I do that?
16:44Oh, my God!
16:47Stop!
16:47Stop!
16:48Move back.
16:49You are acting like a child.
16:50Well, you're acting like my mother.
16:52She never let me do anything.
16:53I couldn't ride a horse or climb a tree.
16:56Okay.
16:56I'm really sorry that you felt trapped, Miranda, in your past life.
16:58But you are dead now.
16:59You've been dead a very long time and you're with us.
17:01So maybe just make a bit more of an effort.
17:04I'm trying.
17:05Are you, though?
17:06I kind of feel like you float around and judge us a lot.
17:09Maybe you could just try engaging and asking a few questions.
17:15Questions.
17:18Okay.
17:21Can you please get me another delivery driver?
17:24What?
17:25Well, I threw in the last one so hard that he chopped his box.
17:31Watch your fingers.
17:32Always cut away from your fingers.
17:33That's not a way.
17:36Oh, nothing in there.
17:38Oh.
17:40Oh.
17:40Wait, that's the important package Sean's waiting for.
17:44Talk about an antsy climax.
17:46No, it's from our second date.
17:48We went to an escape room.
17:49Huh?
17:50You're locked in a room and you have to use clues to escape it.
17:53You'd be trapping yourself in a room for amusement.
17:56That's what that is.
17:58Prisoner's no joke, Kate.
18:00I mean, the only good bits were Chilly Tuesdays.
18:01Anyway, I solved this rando morse code thing
18:05and then Sean turned to me and said, I love you.
18:09And even though it was early on, I said it back.
18:14Because I realised that I really liked being trapped with that nerdy little face.
18:19Now we're trapped with the both of you.
18:21So we are.
18:22I mean, on the other hand, being trapped in a four-man cell after Chilly Tuesday.
18:26Not ideal.
18:28No bucket.
18:29No toilet paper.
18:31Just a rag and a can-do attitude.
18:33Kate.
18:39Kate.
18:41Kate, you up?
18:44I drove all the way to the depot like an idiot, even though they didn't even have my package.
18:49You found it!
18:51You're locked in a room.
18:53The clock is ticking.
18:54No, don't.
18:54You can decipher the cryptic clues and work with the person you love most to escape before time runs out.
18:58Are you serious?
19:00I just got you some servo breakfast.
19:03This is freaking weird.
19:05I can't believe you built me an escape room.
19:07You're wasting precious time.
19:11This?
19:12Huh?
19:14Oh, you Chico Rolls.
19:16Ah, incoming!
19:21Control yourself, girline.
19:25Mindy?
19:26Mm-hmm.
19:27Hmm.
19:28Is that perhaps a less ridiculous version of this jazzercising that I can do in my dress?
19:34G-um...
19:35Uh, yeah.
19:36Yes.
19:37Yes, please.
19:38Um, yes.
19:39Um, okay, so it's low impact, but you will have to warm up.
19:41So, um, you've got thick ankles.
19:43You'll be fine.
19:44Permission, just jazz all over me.
19:45Oh, okay.
19:46Oh, my God, how are you doing?
19:47Maybe not in the face.
19:48Okay, sorry.
19:48Best friends.
19:49Um, let's, um, do this.
19:50You're a natural.
19:52You know, I think I changed my mind.
19:54I think I miss girls the most.
19:58Hey, that's your thrum face.
20:00Ah!
20:02Don't look at me.
20:03I can quit whenever I want, all right?
20:05I just want one more sniff to get through the weekend.
20:10Oh, that's it.
20:13Might I have this dub?
20:14I don't dance English.
20:22In this light, your hair somewhat reminds me of my gorgeous Jemima.
20:27That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me, so it is.
20:30Such a fine steed.
20:33Steed?
20:34Jemima was a horse.
20:35Finest filly I ever had the pleasure of mounting.
20:38Gideon, you may well be a stuck-up eejit and fain as a peacock.
20:44That?
20:46No, that's it.
20:48Your next clue is under.
20:53Under where?
20:55Under where?
20:55Under where?
20:57You did a bad pun for me.
20:58Yeah, I thought you'd like it.
20:59I'm sorry.
21:01I love you.
21:01I'm sorry.
21:18What's happening?
21:19What's happening?
21:19Ow, ow, ow, ow!
21:20Get him, get him, get him!
21:20You put your knees up when you're done.
21:22It helps with the baby making.
21:24My, that looks just like mommy's hysteria massages.
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