Ghosts Australia Season 01 Episode 03

Reality Insight Hub

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Transcript

00:00Oh, my God.

00:30Oh, my God.

00:39Don't you got to get to work?

00:48What's the point of work?

00:49To get money.

00:51I don't have any money.

00:52That's because you don't find much gold.

00:53That's because I don't do much money.

00:55Not for gold, anyway.

00:56I wish I could go digging for gold.

01:01Couldn't be worse than my bloody job.

01:04Blimey, I've got to get to work.

01:05Wait.

01:07I don't want you to go.

01:08Me neither.

01:10But my boss will whip me if I'm late.

01:12I could talk to your boss.

01:13Me husband won't like that.

01:14Your husband could talk to your boss.

01:15Me husband is me boss.

01:17So that'll be a short conversation.

01:18Oh.

01:19Why won't they have a conversation about shorts?

01:23You're so funny, June.

01:28June.

01:40I ain't getting flogged for this.

01:42I mean, this plumbing's a hundred years old.

02:07The sealed thing's busted here too.

02:09Even your cabinets are all rotten too.

02:11So, uh, yeah.

02:13I can give you a quote in the kitchen.

02:15Great.

02:16Great.

02:16As soon as you take care of your unpaid invoices.

02:18Oh, Kate, we can flirt our way out of this.

02:20No, Kate, fight your way out of it.

02:22These are standover tactics.

02:23Give me no bite the throat.

02:24No more bills.

02:25But please pay within three days.

02:26I mean, isn't that a little harsh?

02:28My other man is due tomorrow, so he's trying to stay ahead of the curve, you know?

02:31He's trying to say he's single, he's available, he's interested.

02:34We've had some unexpected costs.

02:35We're down to one income, so we'll just do what rich people do.

02:38Call his work subpar and refuse to pay.

02:40Oh, hey, mate.

02:41Sonny.

02:42The real question is, why isn't your husband getting his hands dirty?

02:45Some artisanal kombucha.

02:47Pretend you're not together.

02:48From the farmer's market?

02:49Yeah.

02:49Nice, you can afford this.

02:51Yeah, Rahim is still freaking out about me going floor remote.

02:53My sprint's about to kick off.

02:54You okay?

02:54Mm-hmm.

02:55Great, I gotta run.

02:55Is he running or sprinting?

02:57Surely sprinting away from manual labor.

02:59So what does he do?

03:00Oh, um, uh, he does a lot of techie stuff for this company, and they do a lot of computer-y

03:04things, um, with IT, um, he's got a lot of gadgets.

03:08Oh, you don't know, do you?

03:10I mean, does he even have any money, Kate?

03:13Look, uh, I should probably go.

03:14Your task is, uh, blowing up, eh?

03:16Yeah.

03:17Yeah, yeah, totally.

03:18Yeah.

03:19It's fine.

03:19Okay, now, drop a pen and pick it up like this.

03:21Yeah, and then pick him up and drop him through the table!

03:23Yeah, um, I've got some other clients who pay me cash up front, so...

03:28You reckon you could just do us, like, a bundle deal?

03:30You know?

03:31Lewis, this is a really, really big house, full of, um, problems.

03:36We've all got problems.

03:37Mine's not having enough money.

03:39Cheers for the booch.

03:42Bye, Lewis.

03:43Yeah, see you when you pay me.

03:45Hey, I think my gold's in here.

03:47Go get your dynamite.

03:51Yeah, yeah.

03:52It was actually during the penetration test

03:54that they exploited the API hole within the VM

03:56and encountered antiviral issues.

03:58What in the name of all things hole is he blathering about?

04:01My boyfriend, Dale, used to be on the phone

04:03talking about business stuff all the time.

04:05He'd be like, insider trading, insolvent, Ponzi scheme.

04:08Mm-hmm.

04:09I'll focus on the software background status

04:10with the insufficient RAM user vulnerability.

04:13Insufficient RAMs?

04:14The user vulnerable?

04:16Is he in the wool industry like my daddy?

04:18More like hot air industry.

04:20Is he leaving that poor girl

04:22to do all the work while he gasp at it?

04:24Just like my useless excuse for a husband.

04:27Yeah, I know.

04:28Get yourself and your strap-on away from me.

04:32Mm-hmm.

04:33He actually popped up on the penetration test

04:34using the back door.

04:35I'll be kicking you in the back door.

04:37Whish! Whish!

04:38You won't be walking through me!

04:40So I'd better get on to that.

04:42Striping stress.

04:44Debrief for him.

04:45Leave me alone!

04:47Devil makes splinters of your legs!

04:49Yes, absolutely.

04:49Get away with your strap-on even!

04:51Don't worry about it.

04:52Maybe two hours.

04:53I can't scare them yet!

04:54I'll absolutely just...

04:55I need to go through the coast.

04:56Ah!

04:59Jun, how did your gold get inside a brick wall?

05:01I was working for my older brother Ying,

05:04who was terrible.

05:05Here we go.

05:05Terrible.

05:06Just terrible.

05:07Terrible and?

05:09Terrible.

05:10Worst boss ever.

05:12Where's the guy from?

05:13I don't want to live in Australia.

05:15He was mad at dad for sending us here.

05:17And I knew he would take the gold for himself,

05:18so I decided to hide it where Chinese weren't allowed.

05:21Which, now that I'm thinking about it,

05:23were lots of places.

05:24Oi!

05:24Piss off back to China.

05:26Get your own gold.

05:28They're just lending too many immigrants.

05:31But the closest one to my mining camp

05:33was Ram's Head Inn.

05:35Before this place was a big old haunted house,

05:41it was an inn.

05:42For people during the gold rush

05:43who were in a rush to find gold,

05:46and people who found gold

05:48who were in a rush to spend it.

05:50Oh, the inn had superior quality rum.

05:59Oh, but inferior quality brickwork.

06:03It was 170 years ago,

06:05but I remember it clearly now.

06:07I hid my gold nugget

06:09right here in this brick wall.

06:12And how big was this thing?

06:14Like a potato.

06:15Baby potato?

06:17Adult potato.

06:18Worth 500 pounds.

06:19Easy.

06:20Unless...

06:22Has the value of money fallen much since 1855?

06:24Don't listen to this scatterbrained celestial, Catherine.

06:27He's been on this wild goose chase for 170 years.

06:30I only chased that goose for two years

06:31and it didn't even have my gold.

06:34Look, Kate, buying's a piece of piss, yeah?

06:36Just get the crow in there

06:37and give it the old heave-o.

06:38Why am I taking building advice from a bikey?

06:40Because we had contracts with the construction union.

06:42I was a safety officer.

06:44Hotel, what did that involve?

06:45Oh, you know,

06:46if you're going to kick someone's head in,

06:48just make sure you're wearing steel caps.

06:50All right.

06:53Let's pay some invoices.

06:57Excuse me, I'm trying to read here.

07:01Yeah.

07:02Let's have a chat about why that wasn't safe.

07:04Excuse me.

07:08Yeah, now that I'm looking at it,

07:10I was trying to put my gold into the wall,

07:12but then...

07:13I'm getting here.

07:14Keep your wig on.

07:17Hey.

07:18You're alive?

07:19Yeah.

07:22You're awake?

07:23Yeah.

07:24I'm so sorry for running off on you.

07:30Are you here for revenge?

07:33Revenge?

07:33For what?

07:34For running off on you.

07:35Why did you run off on me?

07:36For I get in trouble.

07:37For what?

07:38For killing you.

07:40But I'm not dead.

07:41You will be.

07:41Me husband finds you in here.

07:43What's he going to do?

07:44Kill you?

07:47Life is pretty hard.

07:48What have you got there anyway?

07:51A present.

07:52For you.

07:55Oh.

07:57What is it?

07:59It's a loobak.

08:01Chinese radish.

08:02I grow them secretly down by the creek

08:04where you tip out the chamber pots.

08:06You're so clever, too.

08:11Oh.

08:12Oh, wow.

08:12Kissing Mildred was like kissing a...

08:20a beehive.

08:22Not as stingy, but just as sweet.

08:25And she was so beautiful.

08:26Hey.

08:27Oh, you've got a really long lifeline,

08:29but a really short lifeline.

08:30What does that mean?

08:32Hey, June, I can't see any gold in here,

08:34so just wondering what happened after you kissed the maid.

08:36I used my tongue to...

08:37Oh, no, after that.

08:38Fun things involving hands.

08:39After that.

08:40Well, we did it.

08:41June, the gold.

08:42I may have decided to hide it somewhere else

08:44now that I'm thinking about it.

08:46Because you're just thinking about that now.

08:48There's no thinking involved.

08:49I say give up now.

08:50I still have a shred of dignity.

08:53Now come and turn this page.

08:54I'm dead and I can't do anything.

08:57Keith!

08:58Your fancy man is javing me up the wall.

09:03Here, no.

09:03I'm not after complaining.

09:04Aren't you?

09:05Even as a miserable wee girl

09:07in the alleyways of Hobart

09:08doing all I could to survive,

09:10chopping up whale meat by day,

09:12dodge and syphilipic English soldiers by night.

09:14Well, you weren't the only ones

09:15who suffered at the hands of the English.

09:16Aye, but I would rather

09:18knife fight a horde of cruel and red courts

09:21than listen to your husband's mind

09:23numb and prattle for one more day.

09:25The key priorities are DOS attacks and malware, yeah?

09:28Sweet lord, not again.

09:29Post-antivirus sound-up,

09:30the White Hats will use the results

09:31of the grey box to perform

09:33a deeper penetration test.

09:34No false positives.

09:35We don't want any false positives

09:36coming back to haunt us,

09:37so I'll get the pod to start

09:38putting together the documentation

09:39for your death.

09:40I can't go through walls, Eileen.

09:41Got it.

09:41No, but you still have time

09:42to ditch your lump of a husband

09:44before your old wound dries up completely.

09:46Again, we're not married,

09:47and this is working.

09:48He is working.

09:49Sorry, just putting out a few fires.

09:51Everything okay?

09:52No.

09:52You're a long-necked, gangly horn

09:54and buzzing in my noggin' hole.

09:56Everything is great.

09:57Eileen and I were just talking about...

09:58Which one's Eileen again?

09:59Um, the Irish lady.

10:00She ran this place as a pub.

10:01She's lovely, polite.

10:02Chasing me around the house

10:03like a fuck-haired twerp.

10:04And she was just telling me

10:05how lucky I am to...

10:06Shite-talking cack puppet.

10:08And I was explaining to her

10:10that you work very hard as a, um...

10:12Oh, it's...

10:13Scrum master.

10:14Scrum master.

10:15Master.

10:15Yes, yeah, yeah.

10:16And I was just telling her

10:17how we really, really need the money.

10:19And if you don't stop

10:19drowning the house in your blather,

10:21I'll be taking drastic action.

10:24Yeah.

10:24But hey, I was just wondering,

10:25would you mind just, like,

10:26sticking to your desk today

10:27and just keeping it down a bit?

10:29You want me to avoid

10:30a whole bunch of people

10:31I can't see or hear?

10:35Yes.

10:38Kate, I remember now.

10:39This is where I hit the gold.

10:40Now it's in the fireplace.

10:42Okay.

10:43Seriously, Kate?

10:43Sorry, no joke.

10:44I could lose my job here.

10:46Rahim could fire me.

10:47I'm sure that's not the case.

10:48If we demolish the fireplace,

10:49we can find out.

10:50June, I was talking to Sean.

10:51Oh, okay.

10:52The pantless miner's here too.

10:53Hi, Rahim.

10:54I've got the whole team here.

10:56Yep, I will stay in the office.

10:58I'm sorry you're stressed.

10:59You're amazing.

11:00We've got this, babe.

11:01Thanks, Kate.

11:02Sorry, boss.

11:03Your Wi-Fi's a bit patchy out here,

11:04but I've got you now.

11:11So, June.

11:12Hey.

11:12You are absolutely sure

11:13that the gold is in there.

11:14As sure as I am

11:15that the moon is a big bowl of rice.

11:17Not only will you fail to find this gold,

11:19you'll also injure yourself

11:20wielding that enormous implement

11:21with your fragile feminine limbs.

11:23Oh, is that right?

11:24You'll be right, mate.

11:24Just remember,

11:25all your strength comes from your legs, yeah?

11:26So what you want to do

11:27is sink down to your legs,

11:28walk in the other room

11:29and get your boyfriend to do it.

11:30You did it, Kate.

11:37Now look inside.

11:39Because, like,

11:40I remember when Mildred went back to work,

11:42I snuck into this guest bedroom

11:43and I hid my gold up the chimney

11:45and then...

11:47Oh, my goodness!

11:50Oh, hey.

11:52What are you doing here?

11:53Um, cleaning your chimney.

11:56It's pretty sooty.

11:58Is it?

12:00Is it very sooty?

12:01No, no, it's...

12:02It's pretty clean now.

12:04June, just go with it.

12:05Go with what?

12:06Did I mention that this guest and I

12:08were, um...

12:09friends?

12:10This is the sootiest chimney

12:12I've had my hand up in a long time.

12:14Oh, and you're good

12:15at cleaning sooty chimneys, are you?

12:17There isn't a chimney in my village

12:19that hasn't seen my bristle brush.

12:20Oh, good.

12:22My husband hasn't been up my chimney for months.

12:25Your husband's a banker.

12:27I mean, he could hire me.

12:28You're so stupid.

12:30She had, like, the silkiest hair

12:34and then she lent him

12:35and our noses were touching like puppies.

12:37There's nothing in here!

12:39And then we...

12:41Oh, here we go.

12:41Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

12:43Is this just you bragging about girls?

12:46No.

12:47Well, there was this other, other girl.

12:50No, no more girls, June.

12:51Where is the gold?

12:54Different bedroom?

12:54No, it wasn't a different bedroom.

12:56Your mind is a sieve, man.

12:57You're remembering it all wrong.

12:59And how do you know?

13:00Yeah, how do you know?

13:03That's classified.

13:04Gideon, you better tell me what you know

13:05before I knock this whole house down.

13:07Mmm.

13:07Well?

13:11And you're so stupid.

13:16Will you make my stack smoke?

13:18Oh, I'm gonna smoke your stack all night long.

13:21Oh, I love your sooty bristle brush.

13:31You were spying on us.

13:33I was not spying.

13:34I was trying to read an open newspaper.

13:36Mate, not cool.

13:38Interrupting the boss's rating time.

13:40What's that about, huh?

13:41Uh, uh, sorry.

13:43Gideon, he has been looking for 170 years.

13:46Why have you not had this conversation?

13:48The less said about this tawdry business, the better.

13:50Now, everyone shut their sick mouths.

13:52T-s-sweat-chim.

13:55This is what happened.

13:57I was here, innocently reading the newspaper,

13:59when in my periphery, I happened to spy

14:02see a spicy encounter.

14:06What? What was that?

14:08Nothing.

14:09It was just soot.

14:10Just a big bit of soot.

14:13Now, close your eyes.

14:15Mmm.

14:17Oh, June.

14:19June.

14:20June.

14:29One moment.

14:32I'm to the bed.

14:33I'm to the bed.

14:37No, no, no, no.

14:40Man!

14:41Don't mind me, man.

14:42Just taking out the chamber.

14:43Oh, you can do that later.

14:45Oh, no, it's a hot day, man.

14:50Oh, Mildred, hi.

15:00It's a heavy one today.

15:03I had a big breakfast.

15:06Mildred.

15:07Mildred, wait.

15:08The menfolk are getting back.

15:10Your husband might not appreciate a Chinaman

15:12with his radish lurking about.

15:16What radish?

15:20If Gideon's right,

15:22then maybe my gold is lost forever.

15:24And I've been wrong about everything.

15:26I just can't believe it.

15:28I'm sorry, Kate.

15:29I wear nothing, but I've become a heavy burden.

15:31No, people pooed in a bowl on the floor.

15:35And then it just sat there under the bed all day?

15:38Oh, yeah.

15:39It was very fancy.

15:40They put a cloth on top

15:41and sometimes even a sprig of lavender.

15:44Mate, that sounds way better

15:45than your average truck stop.

15:47Meat pies and crystal meth,

15:48not a great combo.

15:50Hang on, June.

15:51Huh?

15:51When you hid under the bed,

15:52the nugget was in your clothes, yes?

15:54And then when Mildred left,

15:55you couldn't find it.

15:57What if your nugget fell into the poo bowl?

16:00What was the first part again?

16:02June, where did they throw out the poo bowls?

16:11What was the second part again?

16:13You're killing me.

16:15Yep, yep, yep.

16:16OK, listen, mate, mate,

16:18we can't go live because the stocks are out of date

16:20and those fields need to remain empty.

16:22See?

16:23Livestock, empty fields.

16:25This is all confirming my hypothesis, Cindy.

16:27These are all sheep farming terms.

16:29Yep, this was actually...

16:31We mentioned this.

16:32Yep, the software patches weren't updated

16:33for that malware.

16:34What kind of a job is this?

16:36No, he's lame, Dave.

16:38Oh, it's just because he's been listening all day

16:40and listening for men is very tiring.

16:42Yeah, I have to jump on yet another Zoom with Rahim

16:45and I'll try and talk him down, OK?

16:47Great.

16:48That's it.

16:49What?

16:50Eileen, what are you doing?

16:52I'm only making him drunk as a lord.

16:54Then he'll be losing his so-called job

16:57and he'll be having to do his manly duty

17:00and help Kate.

17:01That doesn't sound very nice, Eileen.

17:08Hey, Rahim, how are you, boss?

17:10Yeah, yeah.

17:10So the white hat has to identify

17:19another hole in the system

17:20but we have it under control.

17:23No.

17:24This isn't about me being remote

17:25because, you know what,

17:26actually, you're remote.

17:28Yeah, you're remote

17:29professionally

17:31and you're remote emotionally.

17:34And just once,

17:35I'm like,

17:36holy, Sean.

17:37Are you OK, Sean?

17:38You know what,

17:38it's just me

17:39and Kate

17:40in the middle of nowhere

17:42in this big house

17:43and I have been trying

17:44so hard.

17:46You have no idea

17:48what I'm dealing with,

17:50Ashley.

17:50What?

17:51You know what, Rahim?

17:54Shut up.

17:59Sorry, boss.

18:00I think I've done some

18:01doji mumbucho.

18:02No.

18:08Wow, Kate.

18:11I've been looking for so long

18:12and this is the closest

18:13I've ever been.

18:14Has anyone told you

18:15you're really clever?

18:16Yes, but thank you.

18:17I can finally take the gold

18:19back to my ancestors.

18:22Sorry, what?

18:24When we find the nugget,

18:25I need you to bury it

18:26with my remains.

18:27Then I can take it back

18:28to my family in the afterlife.

18:30It's the whole reason

18:31I haven't been sucked off yet.

18:35Jane, I thought the gold

18:35was for me.

18:36You know, to save us

18:38from bankruptcy.

18:40Nah.

18:41Okay, focus, Kate.

18:43When we find the nugget,

18:44I need you to bury it

18:45with my remains

18:46so I can take it

18:47to my family

18:47in the afterlife.

18:50My father went into debt

18:51to send my brother

18:52and me to Australia

18:53to find gold

18:54and send it back

18:54to our family.

18:55Hey, Aung.

18:57It's been a long day.

18:58I haven't seen your brother.

18:59Huh?

19:03Maybe my brother

19:04wasn't terrible.

19:05Maybe he was just

19:06responsible.

19:10I really should have

19:11just handed him the gold

19:11so we could just go home.

19:14Instead, I kept it for myself

19:15because I wanted

19:16to stay in Australia.

19:18It's sunny

19:19and the birds are nice,

19:20but I didn't think

19:20I'd stay here

19:21for this long.

19:23I was sent here

19:24to revive for my family,

19:25but all I provided

19:26was shame.

19:26Oh, but June,

19:27your dad going into debt

19:28and sending his sons

19:29across the world

19:29to find gold.

19:30I mean, he took a gamble.

19:31He loved gambling.

19:34Meanwhile,

19:35going into debt

19:36and starting a hotel

19:37with zero experience,

19:38it's a solid choice.

19:40Well, don't be so hard

19:41on yourself.

19:42I mean, you demolished

19:43two rooms in a day.

19:44That would have taken me

19:45at least a day.

19:48June, do you think

19:49hitting your head

19:50on that nugget

19:50gave you, like,

19:52eternal concussion?

19:54No, I've never

19:54played the drums.

19:56Babe!

19:57Hey, so I totally

19:58lost it for him

19:59and guess what?

20:01He totally backed down.

20:03Babe, that's great!

20:04That's great!

20:05I knew that he appreciated

20:05your computery skills.

20:07You don't know

20:08what I do, do you?

20:09No, I do.

20:10June?

20:11You work at a tech company

20:12and you, um...

20:14Allow me.

20:15He works for a company

20:16that specialises

20:17in woolen products,

20:18a.k.a. software.

20:20Software stuff.

20:21Sean and his team

20:22check the integrity

20:23of the carriages

20:23that transport

20:24the sheep

20:25to their foreign ports,

20:26protecting them

20:27from pirates...

20:28And security measures?

20:29Viruses and unfashionables,

20:31a.k.a.

20:33Sheep.

20:33Malware!

20:35I have no idea.

20:36Oh, oh, oh, oh.

20:38Okay.

20:39Are you drunk?

20:41I don't know.

20:43How did this happen?

20:46I'm digging for gold

20:48on behalf of my spouse

20:50because it belongs

20:52to a ghost

20:54that lives in our house

20:56and all the...

20:58It's a cool power,

20:59Eileen,

20:59but can you save it

20:59for Friday nights?

21:00I was only after

21:01giving you

21:01fairly me booze breath

21:02so we'd be helping you

21:03do some actual work.

21:05But the shame of it

21:05is it can barely

21:07hold a shovel.

21:07What are the ghosts

21:08saying now?

21:09That you look hot

21:09with a shovel in your hand.

21:10And that he's far too frail

21:11to make it in the wool industry.

21:12Get out while you can.

21:14And that you are amazing

21:15at everything you do.

21:16High five!

21:21Are they high-fiving me?

21:23Yep, yep.

21:24They're all taking turns.

21:25Hello, I'm an awesome man.

21:26This is mine, ha.

21:27You haven't heard a high five.

21:29Thank you, Kate,

21:31for helping me get sucked off.

21:32We haven't found it yet.

21:33I think I need something.

21:39I did.

21:40See you soon, Dad.

21:41That's it.

21:46Tastes like brown.

21:48Yeah, looks like

21:48you hit the septic there, mate.

21:49We're going to have to

21:50close this whole zone down,

21:51I reckon.

21:52I think I need a blood test.

21:58You know,

21:59they also threw poop bowls

22:01into the river,

22:02now that I'm thinking about it.

22:03Oh, no!

22:17Oh, no!

22:21Oh, no!

22:27Ah, ah, ah, ah!

22:29Ah, ah, ah!

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