- 8 hours ago
Married at First Sight UK (2015) Season 10 Episode 9
Please Follow Me! Thank's for watching...
Please Follow Me! Thank's for watching...
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Today is the very first commitment ceremony.
00:05Previously, this is where the hard work begins.
00:09I can't communicate with you, and you don't listen.
00:12You don't back down.
00:14Tension built as two couples clashed.
00:16It's been proper difficult.
00:18This isn't gonna work.
00:19No emotional connection.
00:21No communication.
00:23I thought we could build from the wedding day.
00:26Just miles apart.
00:28So for that reason, I won't leave.
00:31And there was zero tolerance for Sarah.
00:34You went around gossiping about your husband.
00:37You were laughing at it.
00:39As her scathing behavior towards Dean was exposed.
00:42This man is talking about how lovely his partner is,
00:46and you are on the other side of the room disrespecting him.
00:51It's not me. It's not who I am.
00:55Tonight.
00:56Hello.
00:58It's experts week.
00:59Do I have permission to remove your rose?
01:01While some couples lean into physical intimacy.
01:04Ooh.
01:05I hope you know where the key is for that.
01:06Anita's patience with Paul wears even thinner.
01:09Surely you should know what you want by now.
01:11Are you expecting me to be fully committed after two weeks?
01:13I need to know where this relationship's going.
01:16No, I'm not hanging around.
01:18And an unwanted interference in one couple's marriage.
01:22Other people don't need to know my shit,
01:24because you'll see a side of me which probably you won't like.
01:27I'm not having it.
01:28It's older.
01:29I was trying to come to a relationship.
01:30I'm not.
01:31Couldn't give a flying .
01:32I'm here for my relationship.
01:33Causes two husbands to collide.
01:35It's one of the people just basically just **** off.
01:38It's stupid.
01:39You're not part of this relationship, so see yourself out.
01:43I'm absolutely starving.
01:55There's a hair in me pineapple.
01:57It's yours.
02:05It's the morning after the group's first commitment ceremony,
02:10which David could not attend as he felt unwell.
02:13I'm never doing it alone again.
02:15I felt really guilty about not being there.
02:17Your letter was absolutely gorgeous.
02:19It did make me feel supported.
02:21Hopefully I made you proud.
02:23I am proud of you for doing it by yourself.
02:25Of the boys who look the best.
02:27It's rude.
02:28It's actually just rude at this point.
02:29You look really cute before you look.
02:31Who looked the best out of the boys?
02:32Me.
02:33Me.
02:34I do.
02:35There you go.
02:36Yes, you did.
02:40I felt like I was a bit blindsided yesterday at the commitment ceremony
02:50when it was revealed that Sarah was kind of talking about me
02:53in not the most positive of waves sometimes.
02:57It was a lot.
02:58I didn't expect everything to come out.
03:00Like, it did come out, you know.
03:01It did catch me off guard.
03:02Disrespect is a big thing to me.
03:03It's like my biggest red flag.
03:05Hearing that word, I was like, whoa.
03:08Like, I was literally white-knuckling the couch, I think.
03:10I was like, ah, this is intense.
03:11Like, what's going on?
03:13It wasn't nice to hear.
03:15Yeah, absolutely.
03:16Yeah, and it wasn't OK.
03:17Usually it's OK and it's not OK.
03:19It's because I want my wife, like, championing me.
03:22It was hurtful and I needed to get that across
03:24because usually I'd be like, it's OK, it's OK.
03:26But I feel like this time I'd be like, no, that did hurt my feelings.
03:29I want my wife in the corner saying all the great things about me.
03:32Like, he's funny.
03:33He does these caring things for me.
03:34I don't want to be sitting there worrying like, oh, did I annoy her?
03:37She's going to tell everyone I annoyed her.
03:38And, yeah.
03:39And it's something I didn't think I had to think about.
03:42It was a bit of a wake-up call and I do need to, you know,
03:45obviously consider your feelings at all times
03:47and think before I say anything.
03:50I found our first commitment ceremony pretty hard.
03:54You know, I really, really like Dean.
03:56I would never want to hurt him.
03:58I'm ready to move on, you know, taking those baby steps
04:01and just seeing where it takes us.
04:03I just want to make sure that you're OK.
04:05Yeah, it was hard, but, like, I am OK.
04:07Like, you know, I mean, I am OK.
04:09Which is one of those things, we won't let it happen again.
04:11You know, like, it's one of those, like, we can let that happen,
04:13but that's it, lying under it.
04:15Yeah, 100%.
04:16So it would be silly to hold on to a grudge
04:18when we both said sorry and said our piece, like,
04:20we've got to move on, fresh chapter,
04:22and hopefully be in a better place on the couch next week.
04:28There were some great points that Paul and Charlene touched on.
04:37Did anything stand out for you?
04:39The fact that obviously we did argue just to separate
04:42and just have that time away before we start back fresh,
04:45do you know what I mean?
04:46Perfect.
04:47Just make sure that everything is just all clear.
04:49I felt the commitment ceremony in general was quite intense.
04:53I think it gave Devani a bit of a reality check
04:55and a little bit of a shake-up as well.
04:57I felt like he opened up last night,
04:59and I just understand a little bit more
05:00how to best support him as well.
05:02It feels like we hit the reset button properly now.
05:07Obviously, they said I should have a little bit more fun,
05:10let down my hair.
05:11We're actually strong.
05:12The things that we need to work on
05:14is just mainly our communication,
05:15and that's what I'm going to go into this week doing.
05:18I'm excited.
05:27I was open and honest at the commitment ceremony.
05:30I wrote leave because that's how I felt.
05:32Paul and I haven't actually had that initial spark.
05:36Obviously, being in the separate apartments,
05:38we're not living in the same space,
05:40but Paul is a kind, sweet man.
05:44I want to show that I am being open
05:46and see if he does start asking questions
05:49and showing a bit of interest.
05:57Stranger!
05:58Hello.
05:59After the first ceremony,
06:00I'm feeling a little bit upset.
06:03Got your peace offering?
06:05Oh, bless.
06:06I thought Anita and I had a lot in common.
06:08I thought we had a great foundation stone to build on.
06:11It's nice to be nice, isn't it?
06:12Mm-hm.
06:13In my wedding vows,
06:14I said I would give it 100%.
06:16It'd be nice if she allows me to try and give it 100%.
06:21Why did you think I wrote leave?
06:23Well, you said you came in to find love.
06:25Yeah.
06:27I think there was a word missing.
06:28I came to find instant love,
06:29because it was only eight days in.
06:31I won't leave,
06:35because of the lack of interest in me and my life.
06:40Because I think that is the basics of starting to get to know someone.
06:46Obviously, when we were in this apartment last time,
06:48I was, can you remember my children's names?
06:50And you said, no.
06:52You want to be asked the questions to volunteer the information,
06:55and I volunteer the information.
06:59Are you expecting me just to go,
07:01I'm Anita, I've got two children,
07:03I've got three grandchildren,
07:04I'm an operations manager.
07:06Do you expect that?
07:09Yeah, because that's what I did.
07:10Because you're good at talking about yourself.
07:12We're here to find out about each other when married.
07:15Paul definitely needs to ask more questions.
07:19If I'm not feeling it, I'm not getting what I want,
07:21then I'm off.
07:22I'm done.
07:24How are you doing? You all right?
07:25Yeah, good, are you?
07:26Yeah, good.
07:27Bit tired, but I'm all right.
07:28No, me too.
07:29Yeah?
07:30Have any more questions?
07:31Yeah.
07:32Have any more questions?
07:33Yeah.
07:34Have any more questions?
07:35After the intensity of yesterday's commitment ceremony,
07:39some of the couples went to let off steam at a local bar.
07:55Stephen and Nelly have had a bit of a disagreement.
07:56After the commitment ceremony, Stephen did go into himself
07:59and then, naturally, Nelly needed a little bit of reassurance.
08:03reassurance then I feel like a couple of people picked up on it said to him I'll
08:06go up to her and I feel like as a typical man when people are telling you
08:09to do so and he kind of fights against it a bit more I think he just was like
08:12going into himself it was really good at the commitment ceremony but last night
08:23Stephen and I had our first bit of conflict I think the last couple of days
08:28I've just felt like a little bit on edge he's not being the same as he was on the
08:32honeymoon it's been absolutely smart I couldn't have asked for a better match
08:37despite their perfect honeymoon where the hell have you been for 34 years of me
08:42life I don't know what to say Stephen's approach to validation reassurance for me
08:48can be quite hard to give if I felt like I've given enough mm-hmm fueled Nelly's
08:53insecurities we just had a really really good time but then I would think he's
08:58not giving me a kiss this morning and then I think yes because he doesn't like
09:02you I probably did need a little bit of validation and I was being needy but he
09:10does feel distant then last night we all went out for some drinks other people
09:15started picking up on it a little bit some of them were saying to Stephen like
09:19tell her how good she looks and he didn't like that I'm really sorry that it's
09:23upset him but these are my friends I need to lean on them I need that reassurance
09:28last night made me feel a little bit uneasy Kia walked in with Nelly asking me to compliment
09:36her absolutely no idea why Kia's got involved I believe Nelly said something to the group about our
09:43relationship that needs to stop because it'll just wind me up even more if more and more people get
09:48involved in stuff they shouldn't and don't need to be involved in let's just talk over I guess what
09:54happened yesterday people were coming in Kia being the main instigator telling me that I've
10:00got to compliment you and how you've worn this top just for me only so I'm thinking
10:04what has Nelly been saying I was just telling them that you have pulled back a little bit since
10:11sunny moon and stuff that was all Kia was just trying to have my back more than anything and
10:16just make try and make me feel a little bit good it feels like you're going behind my back and
10:19talking but this is what I mean in the moment that's what it felt like I didn't ask them to
10:27have this conversation with you other people don't need to know my shit it's just gonna blow up this
10:35situation worse than what it actually is I can't be having people I can't be it again because you'll see a
10:41side of me which probably you won't like
10:47let's let's be honest you haven't been the same since the honeymoon and that's why I needed a bit
10:53more reassurance from you I've been standoffish because you've already created scenarios of when
11:00things are gonna go wrong I'm thinking oh shit is she now gonna look for things but
11:05that's what I do that's why I said to Paul on the commitment ceremony I'm doing this and I hate
11:09that I'm doing it sorry I don't want to go upset but I hate that I'm doing it because I'm gonna
11:15potentially throw something away that is just my my protection mechanism coming up so that I don't
11:20get blindsided and this is why I'm single but if you're already in that self-sabotage mode or got
11:26shit in your mind that's just gonna make it ten times worse just be yourself it will get back to the
11:31honeymoon stage but that comes in time I hate getting emotional about these things it sucks
11:37having to tell someone it's because of my past I am a little bit worried about if I am going to push
11:41him away but well we can't go on like we were so I haven't got a choice but do you feel like that's
11:46everything off like my main issue is with other people and I'll have those conversations with other
11:51people still feeling annoyed with a few things really want to have a conversation with kids
11:57today I don't people meddling nearly nice business you're not part of this relationship so see yourself
12:02last night drinks were flowing and we were having a fun time but Leah was being a little bit flirty
12:14with Rebecca she has said to me before that she's got a flirty personality and and it's something that
12:20I've dealt with in my past so I just don't want to feel like I'm being disrespected last night I started
12:27to feel like you were being overly familiar with Rebecca and then because we've had conversations
12:33before and you've said you're quite a flirty person no I didn't say I'm a flirty person I said people
12:38sometimes flirty personality I said so you did say that and then I started to feel like you were being
12:43overly familiar with Rebecca and it started to make me feel a little bit like I was like that's a bit
12:48muggy I think because she's from a similar area to me I do gravitate to her so I do feel like it's more
12:55that than anything but I think the bottom line of that is you realize at this point that you liked
13:01me more than you thought because you got a little bit jealous over Rebecca that's why you thought I'm
13:06gonna pounce on you okay let's get into that shall we you got jealous obviously that's coming from
13:12somewhere I wouldn't feel that way if I just saw you as a friend I feel like we both are getting a
13:17little bit closer to that romantic side we had a kiss last night which it's not something we've
13:24been doing yeah it was nice to be fair we shared a kiss last night if I just purely viewed Leah as
13:30a friend behaving that way and probably wouldn't have bothered me so the fact that it did obviously
13:35there are some feelings there that I maybe wasn't aware of I need to speak to care after last night
13:48I didn't like the way he was acting with Nelly parade around like a bit of meat who's at the door
13:58now hello how are you I need to tell him that look your actions for last night don't sit right on me
14:06and it's now it's affected my marriage last night I got frustrated with you with everything going on with
14:16Nelly and I with the distance and stuff I just wanted people just to basically just fuck off okay you
14:22brought her over to me it was like comment on her like outfit coming on like a breast in that way I
14:28don't want anyone to get involved just leave me alone sorry I'm actually still just confused as to
14:36what I've what I've done Nelly had said that she was feeling down didn't feel very cute about herself
14:42so I picked her up to make her feel like she was cute I then walked her in gave her a spin said look
14:47how amazing your wife looks it was more the comment of like look at how good her breasts look she wore
14:54this top for you I was literally saying directly to her look at those when you hear like look at
14:59your wife you automatically assume it was just directed at me I can't be held accountable for
15:03your assumption I'm not having it sold it I was trying to come to your relationship I'm not
15:08couldn't give a flying fuck if I'm completely honest I'm here for my relationship I was being
15:13supported the same way I would support absolutely anyone that's who I am I am a cheerleader I'm a
15:17positive person it's what I do and if you've assumed or not that's on you I am a cheerleader I'm a
15:35positive person it's what I do and if you've assumed or not that's on you when people were saying no
15:43you've got to say these things I was up but I've said it to her when I walked in it actually had
15:49nothing to do with you whatsoever I came in and gave you an opportunity to compliment her because
15:53I had spent the time outside with her saying maybe you just need an opportunity I was literally playing
15:57devil's advocate having your side and having your back no one knows the conversation we have back
16:02at home just stay out of my business if Nelly comes to me again and says I feel shit about myself
16:10I don't feel very cute I'm gonna bigger up again do exactly the same thing the same as I would for
16:16anyone in this fucking room because that's what you do when someone feels low about themselves
16:20then that's never gonna change I'm afraid I think everyone needs to put effort into a relationship
16:28Steven included if there are aspects of his relationship that he doesn't want discussed
16:32that's the conversation between him and his wife not me feeling pretty pretty staff staff just ended up
16:41just walking away my relationship is my relationship and don't like people getting involved in business
16:46I shouldn't get involved in
16:47this is stupid
16:49I thought someone's actually at the door but it looks like we've got an envelope
17:05star oh my god our first golden envelope today marks the start of experts week
17:11I think we've won the lottery kid I can't pick it up with me now we've devised a series
17:19of exercises to help the couples navigate these early stages of married life I feel stressed some
17:26couples could find these exercises challenging or confronting but this is a vital part of the
17:31process to allow them to develop deeper levels of emotional connection there is no one-size-fits-all
17:38remedy for any relationship so each of us have drawn on our own specific areas of expertise and
17:45devised activities
17:47tailored specifically to you as a couple to help you navigate the challenges you face there were some big
17:52words in that one there dear Grace and Ashley you are requested to attend a fun workshop nice I know
18:02that intimacy and affection has been an issue for your marriage and this is something I'd like to help you
18:06work on lots of love Charlene Charlene here we go we have left something outside for you
18:14oh no will I go get it yeah go go go go oh oh god I'm already impressed you're joking
18:25no it's a little robe I mean that's cool for me
18:30I might do one leg we'll see we'll see how it goes Dean and I get on great but um the main thing really
18:40missing is the intimacy we've obviously not kissed you know being intimate with each other or anything
18:45like that so yeah I think you know it's it's quite scary because you don't really know sort of what's
18:51going to happen and things but I know it's what our marriage needs so I'm really willing to work at it
18:55um excited yeah to touch it's exciting right it's a big moment I guess in our relationship it's the
19:04next stage so yeah I'm hoping it's the start of the touching and not the end of the touching I'm hoping
19:08it's the beginning bring it on let's do it let's do it let's do it I can't wait yeah me too I wouldn't
19:16like to think what's in store for this workshop I hope it's not a massage we've already done that on
19:22the honeymoon you okay with it on their honeymoon Grace's struggles with physical touch were brought
19:28to the surface during what should have been a romantic massage from Ashley hey is that enough
19:33now do it for me I will do it for you you do so much for me I am totally willing to do this for you
19:41thank you would you like a hand because you're actually stressing me out me and Leah are trying
19:51to build a romantic connection at the minute it's just sort of more of a friendship thing so I feel
19:56like it's definitely come at a good time for us to see if we can initiate a bit of a spark
19:59it's important for our couples to understand that intimacy isn't just about sex there are many
20:13different ways in which a physical connection can develop with that in mind I've set some of
20:19the couples a task to inspire trust and understanding between them welcome to my workshop I'm sure you're
20:28very excited to see me let's talk about intimacy because one thing that I realize is that as soon
20:34as I say the word intimacy everyone gets a little bit nervous but intimacy should be fun the keys to
20:43explore and that's what I want you to do today I don't want you to do anything that you're not
20:47comfortable doing so blindfold your partner not too tight okay okay can you see no not too tight no
20:58even a bit tighter probably yeah perfect next to you what you'll see is some massage oil my heart
21:05drops a little bit at the thought of massage it's always going to be something that I find really like
21:09I'm comfortable okay is anyone want me to go home to clear on no that's good oh feel free to make sounds if
21:18you want to if it feels good oh make some sounds yeah make it better then okay how's that yes nice good I've
21:29waited a long time for this it's been worth the wait though as well it's so nice to kind of share that moment I think this is a
21:36step in the right direction and what we're missing really
21:39more oil oh yeah go on oh that's nice I want to be Dean's biggest cheerleader I want for things to
21:47start going in the right direction but um it was a little bit funny isn't it like you're really good
21:54thank you thank you soft hands we're giving it a goal we're giving it a goal
21:59grace how does that feel I've never been one for massages myself I'm trying to focus on the fact that
22:12it's a good massage like ash is a good masseuse okay I'm feeling a bit stressed it's not me it's not my
22:20kind of thing it's beyond my comfort zone my comfort zone was like a hundred and twenty miles
22:25back you're doing amazing thank you but ash this is important to him so I'm trying to have an open
22:33mind so the partners that are massaging I'm sensing that you're really enjoying this is it showing that
22:40much you can see a massive difference from the honeymoon even though she's feeling a bit
22:47uncomfortable she's staying there and she's working at it do you want to swap yeah we could
22:51swap good especially with race where feelings are starting to build like she's really sort of throwing
22:57herself into this and yeah nice to see to be honest do I have permission to remove your rose I'm really
23:04proud of her I'm I'm just I really enjoyed getting a bit more touchy yeah and I think all it can do is
23:29just make us stronger initially I was slightly nervous but actually Dean is doing well at giving
23:36the massage I'm getting rid of some of that tension he's made me feel super comfortable so yeah he is
23:42doing well it's nice is it yeah good I think you guys have had quite a lot of fun Grace and Ashley the
23:53good thing with the two of you is that you have a really good connection so although there is this issue
23:57around the skin on skin touch there's a bond that I see between the two of you that's key today was
24:04important because I did want an opportunity to show Ash that I am trying as well he has made a huge amount
24:09of effort and he does deserve someone who's going to put as much in as he does well done guys now I
24:15think you're absolutely ready for stage two let's take it up a notch oh
24:22where is Charlene going no what's going to be inside this room what is behind this what what is going on
24:35Charlene Charlene where are we going there's no words here we go here we go wow I wasn't expecting
24:54that oh my god holy shit okay oh strawberries there is a table full of sex toys here we've got
25:05handcuffs we've got dildos we've got butt plugs we've got god knows what does Charlene just carry
25:11these around in her bag every day or welcome to my table of treats you now have an array of lots of
25:21different tools that you have lots of fun with you may look at some of these things and think
25:26well that's not for me yep but you may look at some of these things I think actually I wouldn't mind
25:33trying that I hope you know what the key is for that but yeah go okay you could go harder oh really
25:43yeah yeah yeah oh oh harder oh I'm just gonna stay seated here for a while
25:50oh that happens to everyone I swear I didn't mean to do that I swear I went a bit tits up didn't it
26:10I can't even think about it just had cream all over my face and a strawberry shoved into my mouth
26:19not feeling very sexy and sensual right now do you want another one I'm fine thank you
26:24that's what I wanted but that's not what I got the next activity is fill in the blanks partner a
26:40will read out the card and partner B will answer the question right now I'm feeling intrigue oh I love it
26:52when you are cuddly and tactile hmm that's nice because she doesn't say a lot of nice things no
27:06often I mean often and no often I don't agree okay it's a little bit uncomfortable that Leah's just said
27:18this in front of a group of people I do feel like I have put a lot of effort in and there's
27:23just that running theme with you at the moment where you will sort of act as if I'm not doing
27:29anything at all no I'm not I'm just saying it's nice to hear it when you say it because you don't
27:33say it often that's all it's a little bit deflating I'm trying to be nice and trying to make the effort
27:42and it doesn't always feel like it's received in the best way she likes what I'm saying but there's
27:47always a but yeah it just gets a bit draining I will do that more but I also would appreciate if
27:54when I do do it you don't make a backhanded comment because that makes me not want to do it again okay
28:02intimacy workshop isn't going the best for me I'll be honest
28:05now because we absolutely love you all we would like you to choose anything on the table that you
28:14might want to go home with and have a bit of fun with I promise I won't look thank you thank you
28:18thank you how are you guys what are we grabbing today was amazing for Grace and I behind closed
28:25doors she's cuddly and affectionate so it was really nice to be around people and for her to
28:31still be okay with it it's a huge step for us I feel huge I did it for you oh well done guys
28:38let's do that you basically burn it melts and then you massage so the intimacy workshop I suppose
28:47it felt a little bit tense but Lee picked up the candle so I think I'm getting a full body massage
28:52in for a treat if that's not dibs she's a lingerie girl yeah there's been a lot of pressure in not
29:00having that industry with Sarah that it's been building up and building up and today's helped
29:04kind of deflate that and make it fun so it's keeping that going now on our own and then hopefully
29:09progressing to loving nice relationship this could not have come at a better time for Dean and I so
29:16many things are there the main thing that is lacking is the intimacy side of things I still do
29:21want to take it slow but I think it has been just what we've needed a values ranking that's gonna be
29:34fun oh dear let's see how it goes struggling to see eye to eye since their honeymoon Julia Ruth and
29:41Devani's task is to both rank nine different values chosen by the experts in their order of importance
29:48Devani and I haven't spoken about values before I hope that we get a better understanding of each
29:54other as a couple and that we can understand as well why we're both here and what we're here for
29:59no picking I know what my core values are and hopefully they do align with Julia Ruth's very good
30:09so this is my list at number one I'd say humor if someone can make me laugh and that I feel like
30:19that makes him like so outrageously attractive you just want to be around that person and then sex and
30:25looks is important to me okay so this is my name hmm Devani's put sex and looks at the bottom of his list
30:39so I've got a lot of questions for house sex is quite low down mm-hmm yeah do you want to explain
30:53that like you're like why you've put it at eight I want to know the person before anything else and
31:00that's why I put it at the bottom not because it's the the least but it is out of this list that is the
31:05second least so someone's ambition to use more important sex yeah okay because all of this will
31:18connect a person and then this is composites everything else money before sex yeah for him
31:29it's looks and sex is the last thing on the man's mind on a man's mind looks and sex was the last
31:36thing on a man's mind come on okay sex was for my sex was eight sex looks is important to me
31:48hmm it's a struggle for me because that is not important to you at all
31:52hmm it's a little bit yeah it's a little bit worried apparently it's not enough doesn't care it's
32:06one of the list so do you know what's really interesting I almost put looks at one so we
32:13literally would have had the polar opposites but it does shed a light on things it's definitely
32:18interesting to see I don't know where this leads me into body just in terms of progressing forward
32:24it's day one of hitting the reset button it was meant to be a fresh start it was meant to be fun and
32:29banter but um they're quite opposite opposite attract I'll never want to see that picture in my life
32:50I look about 50 as well no comment yeah no comment go on then go hit me with it dear Rebecca and Bailey
32:58you seem content in the present so we're going to ask you to delve into your past by opening your
33:05x-files we want you to explore the lessons you've learned and how you can bring them to bear on your
33:10current relationship lots of love Mel Paul and Charlie let's get into it x-files then yeah x-files I
33:16sure it'll be fine as long as my ex isn't gonna walk in through the door you ready yeah have you
33:22ever broken someone's heart and how do you feel about that now yeah yeah so with my long-term ex we
33:33um I'd built a life together built literally built a house together you're like yeah all right he proposed
33:45and I thought god like I'm gonna have to make a decision either like marry him or like being
33:54more true to this like weird niggly feeling that I had it broke his heart like I feel selfish that
34:02like I decided to like take that away from him then yeah and I know it broke his heart he told me I did
34:09so um yeah I didn't want to like I didn't I don't I wouldn't want to make anyone that sad but I also
34:19felt like I had to be true to myself but also true for him it's such a double-edged sword to a bit
34:27get emotional because it is hard don't want to see someone upset and but then also that vulnerability
34:31is somewhat a nice feeling it's like part and parcel with kind of falling for someone and starting
34:35to like someone more so yeah I'm relishing it yeah so you're right yeah cool yes happy give me a hug
34:41then come on I find it hard sometimes to open up to people but being with Bailey does make me feel
34:49like it's safe I haven't felt that for a while and it's a really nice feeling ready okay Teddy go yeah
35:08to help strengthen their emotional connections Anita and Paul and David and Kia have been given the ask me
35:15anything task it's what we wanted we're letting go we're gonna smash it yeah we will I like this
35:20this is things to do is what we're here for right is to work on ourselves is to make sure that we get
35:25to know each other deeper ready let's do this right now I have no nerves I have my man where do you
35:35think you've gone wrong in your previous relationship um many ways um okay I lose aspects of myself in my
35:48marriage I changed and edited myself and turned into something I wasn't and became very vacuous
35:54um I guess until this point I've never really got into a relationship as myself so I guess I haven't
36:07given anyone a fair opportunity to actually date me or be in a relationship with me because I just
36:13have a different edited or amended version that I think they're going to like I guess most of the
36:21versions of me are pretty shitty people so yeah I wouldn't want to have dated me either they're in
36:28the past they are indeed you know I don't judge for anything of the past you're good as you are I've
36:39never met anyone that is more themselves than you are thank you it's okay the more time I spend with
36:46David the more I'm growing and developing because of how considerate and caring he is I like this this
36:52is nice this is lovely yeah yeah tell me three things you change about I wish your job didn't
37:01involve you having to go away for long periods of time okay when you get in your head and overthink
37:08things most of the time it's a non-problem it's a non-issue I can work on we can try and do it
37:13together um and the third thing I would change is your perspective on your body image because I think
37:21you're absolutely goddamn sexy as hell and wish you could see yourself the way that I see you you speak
37:29being open with my body makes me a little bit anxious but slowly slowly I'm getting more confident
37:39I think it is it's lovely to see how he sees me it makes me feel wanted he makes me feel
37:44worried about myself it's been a while since someone made me feel like that it's just nice
37:49it's kind of the perfect task this week for us isn't it that's what I've been banging on about all
38:04week at the end of the day Anna hi depending on these questions they'll depend where that actually
38:11leaves us did you find that hard no all right because I've not really asked you much as you've
38:20pointed out a few times I am a little bit sweaty palms I think it's important for me to see some
38:29improvement so fingers crossed again will you give the marriage enough time so I can love you for you
38:41how long is a piece of strength time I'm not in a hurry I just it's more a case of I need to know
38:52where this relationships going what's on your mind what you want out of it whether you're fully
38:58committed are you expecting me to be fully committed after two weeks well the clues in the title isn't it
39:04married at first sight surely you're wanting to commit aren't you I think you can be committed to
39:12the process to going down that road of building a relationship building trust building respect I
39:19think you are expecting me to be further ahead now you've said it takes you time it could be six years
39:25before you get a spark that's the doubt that's set in my mind yeah how long does it actually take you I
39:31just haven't got that time love is something you build my time frame may be different from her
39:41time frame and that's going to be the sticking point I need to know what you're thinking surely
39:47you should know what you want by now I don't know if Paul understands I haven't got time to waste I was in
39:53my previous relationship for 17 years and didn't get the outcome I wanted so I need to know where I stand
40:00I've just wasted 17 years and I don't want to waste time surely we should want the same outcome
40:06he's 60 I'm nearly 55 no I'm not hanging around
40:10what we're gonna have dinner tonight pasta lots of cheese lots of cheese Maeve and Joe's exercise for
40:30this week involves a visit from one of the experts at the commitment ceremony Maeve voiced her
40:36insecurities within the marriage and herself oh I knew that could be as Joe was absent I'm visiting
40:45him and Maeve at their home to offer further one-on-one expertise yes are you all right I'm so happy to
40:56see Paul honestly like his home's my home do you know what I mean no my home's his home is that what
41:02you say well anyway I'm not also take your shoes off and get comfy where I would love to begin is the
41:09commitment ceremony yeah Joe I believe you missed a very important moment it was profound at yesterday's
41:18commitment ceremony Maeve faced the couch alone while Joe was ill I think he is really attractive and I
41:23thought like he's not going to find me attractive whatsoever I I think he's too good for me I mean
41:30it's quite heartbreaking to hear you say that well he is you need to love on yourself more this is more
41:37important than your relationship with Joe yeah do you recall a little bit of the conversation that we had
41:44oh god Joe compliments me all the time like I couldn't have anyone nicer to say nice things about
41:50us but I don't believe what he's saying at what point in your life did you begin doubting yourself
41:57probably when I was with me ex he used to talk about me appearance just negative shit all the time
42:06okay if someone says it enough to you you start believing it you know what I mean yes how do we take
42:12that narrative and switch it to positive Maeve what I would love for us to do is teach you how to receive
42:21a compliment
42:22taking compliments sounds like a very easy thing to do but it's not I really struggle to take stuff on
42:31board all right this is going to be great so Joe is going to give compliments and when he gives you
42:40that compliment I want you to look in the mirror repeat the compliment and you're going to say I
42:48receive this I believe this and thank you for seeing me this way okay so hit us Joe I love how you give
43:00everyone your energy and everyone just loves you as a person
43:03that was cute what do I look at myself and say that yes just do it I'm trying to go on I feel like I
43:15can't say it this is hard isn't it yeah why is it hard because I can't take it in okay I actually can't I
43:24can hear him I'm listening but it doesn't go like it's literally in one ear around and out the other
43:29exactly because you've taught yourself to just not believe it and I also notice that you have a hard
43:35time keeping eye contact with yourself in the mirror why do you think you're having a hard time
43:39looking at yourself in the mirror I don't really enjoy looking at myself in the mirror why I don't
43:47know I just don't feel confident in myself that's why this is important yeah so we're going to do
43:53that round again but you have to look at yourself in the mirror the entire time
43:57Joe I love how you have my back in any situation
44:03that is so true it's so true it's actually really true yeah I believe that one so you believe that's
44:11what I mean but do you yeah because I do have your back say it in the mirror then Joe loves the fact
44:16that I have his back in every situation I receive this I believe this I actually do though
44:22like I know I'm struggling but I feel like it is starting to make me believe him this exercise
44:30actually makes me feel a little bit better about myself it's melting my heart you could always tell
44:36if an intervention has worked well because the couple is closer when you come back together and
44:41look at it Maeve it's in your lap right now yeah Maeve you have this story going on in your mind
44:48that you were not good enough and the more you take in these compliments what's going to happen to
44:54that negative script in your mind it's not going to be negative anymore it's going to be positive it's
44:58going to be positive when you can connect at your true self that's true love yeah and that's what
45:04we're trying to get to I'm very grateful for Paul yeah we're going to work on it and actually do the
45:11task going forward so hopefully it'll improve we are making baby steps yeah but moving in the right
45:19direction 100% well then on that note I'm gone thank you for coming yeah 100% this is the beginning
45:26of a new Maeve I actually want to believe what Joe's saying honestly I think he's amazing and I don't
45:32want him not in my life Anna what is the matter with me oh god this place makes you go crazy
45:43come on guys to mark the end of experts week some of the group head out to compare notes
45:55I am so excited to find out what everyone else has done what everyone's tasks have been for expert
46:01week it's a special day of Stephen's getting around isn't it first little day out cheers lads
46:07cheers I've been loving my time with Beck but also exciting to see the lads and have a bit of a debrief
46:12we did a workshop with Charlene she had us like a secret doorway into this like sex dungeon
46:19wait wait wait where is it where is it could I have a go I'm jealous that you've got to do the
46:28workshop I want to do it it was really good yeah it was good so like I'm not gonna lie I was a little
46:33bit nervous I mean I just you don't know what you're kind of expecting do you feel like it's
46:38grown you closer to him in like a different way I think it's not too early to tell Dean and I
46:44obviously we haven't had really any form of intimacy at all but obviously there are different
46:49forms of it there's different levels of it we are still taking baby steps yeah it was good I think
46:54it was what we needed I said to him after the commitment ceremony he's constantly got you on
46:58this pedestal and that's what he said he wouldn't do I was like you know you also need to be there
47:03for you too I think that commitment ceremony kicked up the arse a little bit you know maybe it's made
47:08her realize a little bit more how good Dean is she needs to be open and vulnerable to him like
47:13she's been matching for a reason where are you and Lee now yeah we haven't like we had to have
47:21the best night how did you not know like Lee thought I'd come up to you in a bar and was like
47:27hey Rebecca I fancy you but it's not in that way at all I think you'd said like Rebecca's more my type
47:36gym girl darker and also like I said you feel like home to me because you're my friends are
47:43like you and it was just something that was latched on to you but there was literally nothing in it
47:48that made her realize definitely that okay maybe I do like her a little bit more but she still won't
47:54admit that I can understand why Lee would feel negative feelings towards it because if somebody
48:02in the group is pointed out as being more your wife's type then there's going to be some sort
48:06of feelings but there's just nothing to worry about with with me and Leah all right then Steve
48:13you're the one hold your cards close to your chest what about you obviously for me look I'd never like
48:18to show vulnerability because it makes me look weaker than when I've done that in the past then
48:22people take the piss so I've decided to slow down on the intimacy side of things like the less hugging
48:27the kissing which sounds bad but why have you why have you kind of made that because she's like she's
48:31three steps ahead of me because she's open up and I haven't it might get in her head a little
48:36bit if she sees you going backwards a bit I think if you are doing that you've got to be super clear
48:41that's why you are doing that I don't like needness I like it's good to feel wanted right
48:45it is like everyone wants to feel wanted but just let me breathe I need my time apart I don't
48:50think she's like super needy but then also if you are you're saying yourself you're more on the
48:54clothes side that might bring a little bit of that out she really likes you and I've talked with
49:01her a lot and you know that Steven is overthinking it he's definitely overthinking it he's being way
49:06too logical about this just let go it's the only way it's gonna work if you say let's go
49:11so Steven came to see you didn't he I think he just needed to kind of vent and go through what
49:22happened in the evening he just kind of needed to say it out loud to us I had told him like time
49:28time again that they're not trying to do it to wind you up no one's aim is to wind you up their
49:33aim is to pick me up because you could see that I wasn't myself much better to do it over wine no
49:38and used to a good now that's all squashed yeah I'm just obviously it's still hard I think he still
49:44has pulled back but now I'm like well cool sweet you pull back if that's what you want to do I'm gonna
49:49do me if you want me then great if he doesn't his loss yes it is yeah I don't really know where
49:58I stand I just need a bit of consistency it's really hard sometimes if the Steven I've got now
50:03is slightly more reserved than the Steven I met on the honeymoon usually I would be like okay cool
50:10I'm tapping out I'm not gonna put myself through this so if you don't want all of me to see you later
50:14mate you can get fucked next time on a scale of one to ten how strong are your feelings the second
50:25dinner party serves up romantic confessions from some 9.5 do you have any regrets so far while others
50:35face harsher truths yes feel like I'm constantly pulling you out for things I'm trying to be nice
50:43and then they're backfiring on me I'm at a point of my life now I need to know you want the same
50:48thing I haven't got time to waste but it's gossip in the group he fucked a girl like two weeks before
50:53you came up here that sparks the biggest conflict of the night who has decided to say I was talking
51:01about my sexual activity you did we were all there people starting to fuck me off they're like that
51:05that that that that that that that you're fucking cunt wow did he just say that
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