#thegrandtour #grandtour #thegrandtour2016 #carshow #automotiveshow #supercars #sportscars #carculture #motoring #carreviews #autoworld #carscene #carenthusiast #classiccars #dreamcars #luxurycars #fastcars #roadtrip #autoracing #vehiclecontent #thegrandtour #thegrandtour2016 #grandtour #jeremyclarkson #richardhammond #jamesmay #carshow #automotiveshow #carculture #supercars #sportscars #carreview #motoring #carscene #autoworld #carenthusiast #classiccars #dreamcars #carlover #carlife
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May travel across the world to meet different automobile manufacturers and drive cars made by them.
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May travel across the world to meet different automobile manufacturers and drive cars made by them.
Category
π οΈ
LifestyleTranscript
00:00:00Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:30CastingWords
00:01:00Thank you, thank you, thank you
00:01:16Thank you
00:01:18Welcome and in this show
00:01:21Apart from James' weird jacket and t-shirt combinations
00:01:24Nothing to be proud of me
00:01:26No it isn't
00:01:26We have many other things besides
00:01:29James May changes gear
00:01:32Richard Hammond changes gear
00:01:35And I
00:01:39Change gear
00:01:46Thank you
00:01:49It's all very exciting
00:01:53Well it started in the 1950s when James May was an old man
00:01:58Now back then Jaguar won Le Mans three times with the D-Type
00:02:03And after they retired that from racing
00:02:05They decided to build 25 road-going versions of it
00:02:08Which they called the XKSS
00:02:10Got a photograph of one here
00:02:12Now this was aimed at wealthy young gentlemen
00:02:15Who wanted to spend the week dashing around town
00:02:18And then the weekend doing motor racing
00:02:21Steve McQueen had one
00:02:23And I think that says it all
00:02:25Unfortunately in 1957 there was a huge fire at the factory
00:02:30And nine of those 25 cars were never made
00:02:33Until now
00:02:35Let me make one big plane right from the start
00:02:54This is not a replica XKSS built from plastic
00:02:59This is an XKSS
00:03:01Built by Jaguar themselves
00:03:10Over 10,000 painstaking hours
00:03:12It's the real deal
00:03:14In fact
00:03:17It's as real as the real ones from way back when
00:03:31The chassis is made from a special steel called Reynolds 531
00:03:35It's what they originally used to build the World War II Spitfire
00:03:38And it's light
00:03:39Only weighs 39 kilograms
00:03:41And then there's the body
00:03:43The tooling and the technical drawings were all destroyed in the fire
00:03:47So they had to scan an original from 1957
00:03:49And then work backwards from that
00:03:52To make it
00:03:52In incredible detail
00:03:54Right down to the rivets
00:03:55Every one
00:03:56The number and the position
00:03:57Is as it was
00:03:59And there's over 2,000 of them
00:04:01But it was the engine
00:04:03That was the trickiest bit
00:04:05The plans for that weren't destroyed in the fire
00:04:08But I got a copy of them here
00:04:10But there was a page missing
00:04:12So they had to get an original engine
00:04:15And saw it in half
00:04:16To find out how it worked
00:04:18No one has ever made a car like this before
00:04:23It's a world first
00:04:26So it's small wonder
00:04:27It's priced at just over 1 million pounds
00:04:32Or for half a million pounds more
00:04:38You could have one of these
00:04:40It's an Aston Martin DB4 GT Lightweight
00:04:49And back in the late 50s
00:04:51And back in the late 50s
00:04:52It was the fastest car in the world
00:04:55Flat out it would do 151 miles an hour
00:05:00But this is not
00:05:09From the late 50s
00:05:11Despite what you might think
00:05:13When you look at its period dashboard
00:05:15And its period six cylinder
00:05:17Twin spark engine
00:05:19It was actually built
00:05:21A few weeks ago
00:05:22So like Hammond's Jag
00:05:26It's an old car
00:05:27That's brand spanking new
00:05:30So did these two ever race against each other in period?
00:05:35No they did
00:05:36They did
00:05:36May 1960
00:05:38I was a month old
00:05:39I was 10 years off being born mate
00:05:41Yeah whatever
00:05:42Picture of it
00:05:43Here look
00:05:43Oh look there they are
00:05:45Well it's actually a D type
00:05:46Yeah but that's the race version
00:05:47Yeah exactly
00:05:47DB4 GT Lightweight
00:05:49I mean that was proper racing in those days
00:05:52No stewards inquiries
00:05:53Every time there was a bump
00:05:54They'd just finish the race
00:05:55Have a drink
00:05:56And then some sex
00:05:58We should give it a bash
00:05:59Ah sex
00:06:01No
00:06:04Happily we were in the French town of Poe
00:06:10And it was here in 1901
00:06:12The first ever Grand Prix was staged
00:06:15They were closing roads for races here
00:06:21Long before they thought of doing the same thing in Monaco
00:06:24Or Detroit
00:06:25Or Detroit
00:06:25And today
00:06:30They were closed once more
00:06:32For us
00:06:34Oh look at this
00:06:49Closed roads through the centre of Poe
00:06:53Oh my god
00:06:56This is like being in history
00:06:58This may have the same Italian styling as the original
00:07:07But unlike Hammond's Jag
00:07:09It is not a fateful replica
00:07:12It has for example
00:07:14It has for example a bigger engine than the original
00:07:16Which means 40 more brake horsepower
00:07:19This thing
00:07:20This thing is quick
00:07:22Oh really quick
00:07:25Some things are the same though
00:07:33Windows don't wind down
00:07:34There's no fan or air conditioning of any kind
00:07:37And it's got a racing gearbox
00:07:40That means no synchrons
00:07:43Which means that when you want to slow down
00:07:47You add the heel and toe
00:07:48Like that
00:07:50Yes
00:07:51That was a skill I never thought I'd need to use again
00:07:56It's like changing a typewriter ribbon
00:07:58Whoa
00:08:03That was me not matching the revs up
00:08:06And that was it
00:08:08Not forgiving me
00:08:09The really good news though
00:08:13Is the brakes
00:08:17They're made using modern materials
00:08:20Unlike in Hammond's Jag
00:08:23Yep in here it's just me
00:08:26And my big hairy balls
00:08:28And they need to be big
00:08:31I can only brake
00:08:32When I'm accelerating
00:08:34Seriously
00:08:34The power for the brakes
00:08:37Comes off the gearbox
00:08:38So with the clutch in
00:08:39There isn't any
00:08:39Who thought that was a good idea
00:08:42Right
00:08:45Time to unleash
00:08:47The 3.4 litre straight six
00:08:49That's 262 brake horsepower
00:08:53Bouncing off the walls
00:08:55In the 50s
00:09:02Ferraris were hitting 160
00:09:04On the Mulsanne straight
00:09:06Jaguar D-types
00:09:08Were hitting 172
00:09:10And remember
00:09:11This is essentially
00:09:12A D-type
00:09:13And the 50s
00:09:17Whoa
00:09:17Just feel the lack of grip
00:09:31Because back in the 50s cars didn't grip
00:09:36Because they had cross-flight tires
00:09:39Back then it was all about how a car handled
00:09:42And this thing handles absolutely beautifully
00:09:45Come on Hammond
00:09:49Get out of my way
00:09:50This really is a special moment
00:09:59Just to see these two cars racing round here is incredible
00:10:03To be in one of them is unreal
00:10:06This is one of the best mornings I've ever had
00:10:14Behind the wheel of a car
00:10:16Ever
00:10:17It's just brilliant
00:10:19Eventually though
00:10:24The people of Poe wanted their town back
00:10:26So Hammond and I called time on the fun and games
00:10:29And sat down
00:10:30For a natter
00:10:31About our amazing cars
00:10:33Now we should explain
00:10:37Why Aston Martin and Jaguar
00:10:39Have suddenly decided
00:10:40To start making cars from their back catalogue
00:10:43And really it's
00:10:44Well it's second hand values isn't it
00:10:45Basically yeah
00:10:46I mean the last genuine original XKSS to sell
00:10:49Went for over 12 million pounds
00:10:51Was it really 12 million?
00:10:5212 million
00:10:52So anyone who buys that for a million
00:10:55Is getting the bargain of the century
00:10:57Yep
00:10:57And Jaguar is making more profit on that
00:11:00Than it would from selling
00:11:02About 100 XEs
00:11:03Exactly
00:11:03I wouldn't be at all surprised
00:11:05If other car makers don't start doing this
00:11:07Ferrari, Maserati, Lamborghini
00:11:10If Lancia remade the Fulvia now
00:11:14Yeah I'd love one
00:11:14I'd rather have that
00:11:17Than one of those
00:11:18Is that the new Honda Civic Type R?
00:11:21The new new one
00:11:22And it is hideous
00:11:23It is honestly
00:11:23It's worse than the last one
00:11:25It's awful
00:11:25I mean the original 90s Civic Type R was brilliant
00:11:28But that is disgusting
00:11:30It's revolting is what it is
00:11:32Mind you
00:11:33It's not as revolting
00:11:35What?
00:11:36As what's just got out of it
00:11:38Oh God
00:11:38Why are you here?
00:11:41I'm here because I heard that you two were talking complete rubbish
00:11:46You don't buy an old black and white television set
00:11:49You don't buy a Bakelite telephone
00:11:51Why would you buy an old car?
00:11:52Because they're stylish
00:11:53No new stuff is better than old stuff
00:11:56I've explained this to you before
00:11:57The world now is better than it was just one minute ago
00:12:01No it isn't
00:12:02Because a minute ago you weren't here
00:12:04Yeah that's true
00:12:05And neither was that thing
00:12:06And I do hate it
00:12:07It's just that's one of the most revolting cars I've ever seen
00:12:11You see that's amazing
00:12:12You're both talking rubbish again
00:12:13To prove it
00:12:15I suggested we take our cars for a simple evening drive
00:12:19Go get on that again
00:12:22Right
00:12:28Here I go
00:12:29Oh that's backwards
00:12:34No I don't want backwards
00:12:35It's neutral so
00:12:41There
00:12:46First
00:12:46No
00:12:48That's
00:12:48Oh
00:12:49What are they doing?
00:12:52Struggling a bit here
00:13:01Next thing
00:13:02Pulling away is an attempt
00:13:04Oh
00:13:04That was a gear I think
00:13:08Finally the golden age of motoring duo were on the move
00:13:15But not at what you'd call a hell of a lick
00:13:18It's like driving around behind the National Trust
00:13:25I wouldn't be surprised to find there's a souvenir shop in Hammond's car
00:13:30You have to go through it as you get out
00:13:32Why are we going so slowly?
00:13:35Well I want to savour the car and the weather and the journey
00:13:38I don't want to rush this one
00:13:40I want to go slowly
00:13:41Exactly we want to make it last
00:13:44Exactly
00:13:45I should admit the real reason we're driving slowly is because this part of the French motorway network is very heavily policed
00:13:56Hammond and I know this to our cost
00:13:59A couple of years ago we were driving along here and I was in an Aston Martin then
00:14:03Got busted by the constabulary who helped themselves to all of our money and took our driving licenses away on the spot
00:14:12We were left stranded at the side of the road
00:14:15We would have been raped
00:14:16Or murdered
00:14:18Gives me an idea
00:14:22James May
00:14:25I'd love to see how fast your car could go along here
00:14:30Yeah let's see what that thing can do
00:14:35Come on
00:14:35I want you to unleash how many horse bearers at 320
00:14:39Unleashed a lot James
00:14:41Right here I'll come past like a bloodied samurai
00:14:45Watch this
00:14:45Oh yes he's buying it
00:14:48Having dropped back I then showed them what this car can do
00:14:53Here he comes ladies and gentlemen of the police force
00:15:00Oh wow
00:15:02Goodbye heritage Britain
00:15:04I reckon it's got more to give
00:15:07Go on James go on
00:15:09Keep your foot in it man
00:15:11At the speed he's now traveling
00:15:18By nightfall he'll be in a cell with Pierre Le Burgle
00:15:23Annoyingly though when we arrived at the overnight hotel
00:15:30Oh God's sake
00:15:33It turned out he'd got away with his recklessness
00:15:36You're not coming in?
00:15:44My car's got no roof
00:15:46No locks
00:15:48I can't leave it unattended
00:15:49I can't leave it unattended
00:15:49You've got a point because the police are more bothered around here with speeding than they are
00:15:55with crime
00:15:56Exactly
00:15:56Exactly
00:15:56You've got no door locks
00:15:59No
00:15:59God you're completely screwed
00:16:02Tell you what I did get to grips with the gear changing in the end
00:16:15I did need a shower after that day when I got to my hotel room I'll tell you
00:16:29Did you really?
00:16:30Did you really?
00:16:31Yes I did because I spent all day sharing a small metal box of the 4.2 litre radiator
00:16:36In the south of France in the summer
00:16:39Honestly my butt crack
00:16:40We don't need to talk about your butt crack now
00:16:42Please
00:16:43What?
00:16:44Don't talk about that
00:16:45I'm just saying it was like the Colorado River down there
00:16:46Yeah okay
00:16:46We'll come back to that later
00:16:49Not that
00:16:49We are actually coming back to that later
00:16:51He's sweating like a pig
00:16:52But there are other things in there too
00:16:54But right now it is time to ring the doorbell of debate
00:16:58On the house of chat
00:17:00Located on Conversation Street
00:17:02What conversation shall we have?
00:17:17Oh I know
00:17:18Do you remember a while back
00:17:19We were asked to vote on the name of that new very serious Antarctic research special
00:17:23And we all decided we wanted to call it Boaty McBoatface
00:17:26Yes
00:17:27Remember that?
00:17:28Okay the authorities were very angry with us for that
00:17:30And they said I thought actually that we'd never be consulted again
00:17:33Because the public can't be trusted to be sensible
00:17:35Well news from my hometown
00:17:38Doncaster
00:17:38Okay
00:17:39Anyone from Doncaster?
00:17:41Are you actually from Doncaster?
00:17:42You'll like this
00:17:43It's actually news from Doncaster
00:17:45Okay
00:17:45The council has decided to risk it
00:17:48Okay
00:17:48And they asked the people of Doncaster
00:17:50To vote on a name for it
00:17:52There are two new sort of snowplough road gritter things
00:17:55Yes
00:17:55Okay
00:17:56Would you like to hear some of the suggestions people have come up with?
00:17:59Yes please Jeremy we would
00:18:00Here we go
00:18:01Grit Van Dyke
00:18:02True Grit
00:18:05Rule Gritannia
00:18:06I like that
00:18:07Salt Disney
00:18:08That's what I've done
00:18:09These are the names they've chosen
00:18:11Okay
00:18:11One of them is going to be called
00:18:12Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney
00:18:15The other one though is going to be called
00:18:19David Plowy
00:18:20That doesn't work
00:18:21Well I think they were hoping we'd think it was David Plowy
00:18:24But isn't it David Plowy?
00:18:25Oh yeah as in snowplough
00:18:27No
00:18:28Well that would work in Birmingham
00:18:29I'll get the snowplough out
00:18:31Get the snowplough out
00:18:31I can call this David Plowy then
00:18:34And so the marvellous thing is the council okay
00:18:37They said this vote's cheered the whole of Britain up
00:18:40Well it hasn't cheered me up
00:18:41No it hasn't been
00:18:41The council said it's got people interested in gritting
00:18:44Well it just hasn't
00:18:45No it hasn't
00:18:46We would be interested in gritting though
00:18:47If we'd thought of a name
00:18:49Yeah well we'd just call it Gary Gritter
00:18:51Wouldn't we?
00:18:51Let's go on
00:18:52Or maybe
00:18:54Icish
00:18:55That could work
00:18:55Yeah
00:18:56Gary Gritter or Icish
00:18:58Do we think those are better names?
00:19:00Oh hang on
00:19:00Adolf Grittler
00:19:02Perfect
00:19:02Those are better names
00:19:05That's a good one
00:19:05We like that
00:19:06That works
00:19:07That's good
00:19:07Which do we have?
00:19:08Do we go with Itsy Bitsy and the other one
00:19:10Or our names?
00:19:11Who wants our names?
00:19:12Hands up
00:19:13Hands up
00:19:14That was a vote Doncaster
00:19:16Yep
00:19:16It's just what it's going to have to be
00:19:18Gary and Adolf the Gritter
00:19:19It is
00:19:19Right the organisers of the Formula E motor racing series
00:19:24Which is like Formula 1 but for electric cars
00:19:26They've recently staged a race between one of their cars and a cheetah
00:19:30Now we've got a shot from the video they took of it
00:19:34Here
00:19:34Now let me ask you two a question right
00:19:37The cheetah's top speed is 70 miles an hour
00:19:40The car's top speed is 140 miles an hour
00:19:43So which one do you think won?
00:19:45Was it the car?
00:19:46Yes it was
00:19:46Wow
00:19:47So the mechanical device with a higher top speed beat the bewildered animal that didn't
00:19:51Know what was going on
00:19:52Yeah
00:19:52Literally the most pointless race in history
00:19:57Yeah it was basically an exercise in not running over a cheetah
00:19:59Do you know what I was following a pigeon the other day
00:20:03You what?
00:20:04What is this a new job?
00:20:05You owned an agency
00:20:06Jeremy Clarkson PD
00:20:07Pigeon detective
00:20:08It's going to be real
00:20:09Did its partner think it was cheating?
00:20:12Follow him
00:20:12No it was just following
00:20:14Well every time it stopped did you have to read a newspaper like that
00:20:16And then look for its reflection in the shop window
00:20:18I was merely following
00:20:20And anyway you should have just gone to Trafalgar Square that's where they go
00:20:23I was merely driving up my drive
00:20:25And a pigeon was flying along in front of me
00:20:28And I clocked it and it was doing 35 miles an hour
00:20:31Was it?
00:20:31Yeah
00:20:32Well that's another animal that would lose a race against a Formula E car there
00:20:35Because that
00:20:35It does 140
00:20:37You should race it immediately
00:20:38It had nothing to do with running a private detective agency
00:20:40But you are running a private detective agency
00:20:42I was simply following a pigeon
00:20:43It wasn't interesting anyway
00:20:44The essence of it is
00:20:46Did you follow it into a tree?
00:20:47No
00:20:48Because that would have been really risky
00:20:48The essence of it is
00:20:50So if your animal does less than 140 miles an hour
00:20:53It will lose the race against the Formula E car
00:20:55If it does more than 100
00:20:56Well no animal does more than 140
00:20:58It does
00:20:59Peregrine Falcon does
00:21:00Does it?
00:21:00Does 220
00:21:01What if you have to follow one of those?
00:21:04I can't take the case I'm afraid
00:21:05I'll need a new car
00:21:06Lamborghini has come up with a new 4x4
00:21:10We've got a picture of it here
00:21:11Amazing looking thing
00:21:13Fabulous actually
00:21:14It does look good
00:21:14Make no mistake about that
00:21:16Twin Turbo V8
00:21:17Which will be an Audi or a Porsche engine
00:21:18641 horsepower
00:21:21The only problem is
00:21:23They've called it
00:21:24The Eurus
00:21:25U-R-U-S
00:21:26Yeah
00:21:27Yeah
00:21:27Well that's
00:21:28That sounds to me
00:21:29Like another word for bumhole
00:21:31No I mean
00:21:33It's a bit medical
00:21:34It is
00:21:34How's your Eurus?
00:21:35It's a bit itchy
00:21:36Mine's inflamed
00:21:39I can't pee
00:21:40It's one of those things
00:21:41Something down there
00:21:43Exactly
00:21:43So the thing
00:21:44When you go to the doctor
00:21:45He says I'm going to check you Eurus
00:21:46And then he puts a glove on
00:21:47Oh no no no
00:21:47Oh he's snapping a glove on
00:21:49I don't want that
00:21:50Anyway so if you want one of those
00:21:52There it is
00:21:53Oh can I just talk about the Ford F-150 pickup truck
00:21:56Okay
00:21:57Now how many do you think they sell in America?
00:22:01I know it's a lot
00:22:01A lot
00:22:02It's two and a half thousand a day
00:22:04Get some
00:22:05A day
00:22:06That's new
00:22:07New F-150s
00:22:08That's huge numbers
00:22:08And Ford has decided amazingly
00:22:10They'd like to sell more
00:22:12So they're about to introduce a hybrid version
00:22:15Really?
00:22:16Yes a hybrid F-150 pickup truck
00:22:18I can't imagine that F-150 owners are very interested in a hybrid
00:22:23I don't think they know what it is
00:22:24No they wouldn't
00:22:24You're dead right
00:22:26They've actually done some research over there in America land
00:22:29And it turns out that F-150 customers when asked list fuel consumption as the 28th most important thing in their buying consideration
00:22:38So there are 27 things they'd think about first on a car
00:22:41Yeah 27 more important things
00:22:43Well what things?
00:22:43I can't think of 27 things on a car
00:22:46Well then
00:22:46Hold on
00:22:47Looks
00:22:47Cup holders
00:22:50Definitely
00:22:50Power
00:22:50That's a good one
00:22:51Yes
00:22:51Power
00:22:52Power
00:22:52Price
00:22:53Size of the load bay thing
00:22:55Yeah
00:22:55Weight
00:22:56What else is more important?
00:22:58What?
00:23:00Gun rack
00:23:00Come with what we're done
00:23:02Six
00:23:03Definitely gun rack
00:23:04If they're saying
00:23:05That fuel consumption doesn't matter
00:23:07Which is what those owners are saying
00:23:09Yeah
00:23:09Why then are Ford making a hybrid at all?
00:23:11Why are they?
00:23:12Oh well now
00:23:12No they've got to
00:23:13It's because there's the environmental rules that Obama brought in
00:23:16All the companies have to do a certain
00:23:18Yes
00:23:18But Ford are saying
00:23:19The batteries that are part of the hybrid system okay
00:23:22They're not some communist plot to combat fake news global warming
00:23:26It has to say
00:23:27Okay it's got batteries in it
00:23:28Yes
00:23:28But they are for charging up your mitre saw
00:23:32Cooling beer
00:23:33And running the coffee maker on a camping trip
00:23:35So the F-150 is a pick up
00:23:38For carrying a big battery
00:23:40To cool your beer
00:23:42And that I think that is enough conversation for one week don't you so let's move it on
00:23:47Yes
00:23:47Um right the new Ford GT
00:23:50I used one recently in the race we had from New York to the Niagara Falls
00:23:54And I'm not sure that on a freeway journey like that I got the best out of it
00:23:59Yeah you chose the wrong car
00:24:01Well not really
00:24:02No he's right you did
00:24:03Well the GT was designed as a racing car as we know
00:24:06In fact it won the first time out at Le Mans
00:24:08And therefore as we know using one on the street is stupid
00:24:11Yeah so you're saying I should have tested it on a track
00:24:14Yes
00:24:15Good because I have done
00:24:16There are those who say that on a track the pretty boy GT is better than anything made in Europe
00:24:35That it's more exciting than all of its rivals from Lamborghini and McLaren and Ferrari
00:24:41Well before I can find out I have to stop
00:24:47Right now with stationary I can put it in track mode
00:24:51Which will lower the car gently
00:24:55Not that gently
00:24:57It will engage the anti-lag system so the power is always available
00:25:01Raise the rear wing and stiffen the suspension by 100%
00:25:06Good so now let's see what's what
00:25:10The first thing I can tell you is this is not as delicate as a Ferrari
00:25:28Ferrari is spalletic
00:25:31This is more like pogo dancing to the Ramones
00:25:36This is hard and brutal and unrefined
00:25:46When you're in a Ferrari it's like you're wrapped in silk
00:25:50In this it feels like you've fallen into a saw at a lumber yard
00:25:56Don't think however that it's just a barroom brawler
00:26:07All doors and no trousers
00:26:10It is way more than that
00:26:13The steering's brilliant the brakes are brilliant
00:26:22You get the very distinct impression that nothing in this
00:26:27Has really been compromised to make it work elegantly on the road
00:26:32This is a car for people who wear Nomex
00:26:36Not spandex
00:26:38It's like the chassis made from pure telepathy
00:26:44It can absolutely wring its neck
00:26:47And it just keeps coming back for more
00:26:51I can't more cars feel like this
00:26:57Then there's the twin turbocharged V6 engine
00:27:10Yes the soundtrack is terrible
00:27:14It just makes a noise
00:27:16A lot of noise
00:27:20All of the time
00:27:22And it only produces 647 horsepower
00:27:32Which in this day and age is a lot
00:27:34But it's not a colossal lot
00:27:37You can't help thinking
00:27:40A thumping great V8
00:27:42Would have solved both these problems
00:27:45But they didn't want a thumping great V8
00:27:53Because they wanted the GT to be light
00:27:56That's why it has a carbon fibre tub
00:27:59And an aluminium subframe
00:28:01It's designed to be kept on the ground
00:28:04Only by the weight coming from its aerodynamics
00:28:07If you take that weight out of the equation
00:28:12By putting the car in VMAX mode
00:28:14Which locks the rear wing down
00:28:17Well who cares it's only got a V6
00:28:19Because the performance
00:28:20It is blistering
00:28:230-60 takes 2.8 seconds
00:28:27Jesus Christ
00:28:31And the top speed is 260
00:28:36Of course the GT is not perfect
00:28:48The steering wheel is ugly and difficult to use
00:28:51The fuel tank is too small
00:28:54And the body is too big
00:28:56And yet
00:28:58Ferraris and Lamborghinis and McLarens
00:29:01Are very good cars
00:29:02Make no mistake about that
00:29:04But mostly
00:29:05They're bought by posers
00:29:07Now this isn't for posing
00:29:09It's too rough and too plasticky
00:29:11And too noisy for that
00:29:13You buy one of these
00:29:14So you can go to a track
00:29:16On a miserable Monday morning
00:29:18When nobody's looking
00:29:19And do this
00:29:21And you've got to love it for that
00:29:34You know
00:29:45The strange thing
00:29:48About that car is
00:29:50That I finished filming it
00:29:51Got into my car
00:29:52Went home
00:29:53And I haven't really
00:29:54Given the GT
00:29:55Another thought since
00:29:56I think it's something to do with the fact
00:29:58It's got that V6
00:29:59Because V6 engines
00:30:00Just aren't exciting
00:30:02It's like they've got no personality
00:30:04Some are
00:30:04But I'm with you
00:30:05A lot of the time
00:30:06I think he's right
00:30:07If they're turbocharged
00:30:08Especially
00:30:08Because then they don't rev
00:30:09That's what you want
00:30:10You want that
00:30:10It could be that
00:30:11It could be the interior as well
00:30:12Which is made from that
00:30:13Really sort of
00:30:14Feels like shiny plastic
00:30:15Feels cheap and low-remp
00:30:16But whatever it is
00:30:17It feels to me as though
00:30:20It hasn't really got a soul
00:30:22But we must now find out
00:30:23How fast it goes round
00:30:25The Ebola-drome
00:30:26Right
00:30:28Here we go
00:30:29And she's off
00:30:32Spoiler up
00:30:33Suspension dropped
00:30:34In full track mode
00:30:35As she makes a confident start
00:30:37Onto the isn't
00:30:38Knocking it
00:30:41Down at gear
00:30:42For the first curve
00:30:43To keep those turbos spinning
00:30:44And already
00:30:45Looking on the raggedy edge
00:30:48She's really not mucking about here
00:30:50As she flies into your name here
00:30:53There's a howl
00:30:56From the bespoke michelines there
00:30:57Now
00:30:58Oh yeah look at that
00:30:59Smooth arc
00:31:01Round your name here
00:31:02And then lighting the afterburners
00:31:04For the fast run
00:31:05Back down the isn't
00:31:07Not what you'd call a soulful sound
00:31:10As we've said
00:31:11But there's no doubting
00:31:12The sheer speed of this thing
00:31:14Okay
00:31:15Into old lady's house
00:31:17Taking it steady through there
00:31:19Easy does it
00:31:21And now
00:31:23Back on the gas
00:31:24For what'll be a bumpy ride
00:31:25Down to substation
00:31:27Hard on the mighty carbon brakes
00:31:31Knead through there
00:31:33This is a Le Mans winning performance
00:31:35Through Field of Sheep
00:31:37And across the line
00:31:38Look, unbelievably
00:31:41Can you see it?
00:31:42Yeah, skittering
00:31:43It was properly
00:31:44She must have been
00:31:45Hanging on
00:31:45Properly hanging on in there
00:31:46Anyway
00:31:48We must now
00:31:49Find out where it goes
00:31:51On the board
00:31:52Let's have a look
00:31:52I imagine
00:31:53Pretty high
00:31:54Oh
00:31:54Oh
00:31:55Well, yes
00:31:57176
00:32:01A second or so slower
00:32:04Than the Lamborghini
00:32:04Which is half the price
00:32:05Remember
00:32:06Yeah, but I think
00:32:07What that shows
00:32:07Is not that the Ford
00:32:08Is slow
00:32:09Because it just isn't
00:32:10I mean, it's quicker
00:32:11Than a McLaren 720
00:32:11What that shows
00:32:13Actually
00:32:14Is just how fast
00:32:15That hurricane is
00:32:16No, it's exactly
00:32:17That's blistering
00:32:18Absolutely blistering
00:32:19Unbelievable, Carla
00:32:21Anyway
00:32:21It's now time
00:32:23For Celebrity Face Off
00:32:25Yeah, and once again
00:32:39Once again we have a very big question
00:32:42And it is this
00:32:44Who is the fastest drummer
00:32:46From a band
00:32:47Beginning with the letter P
00:32:49To find out
00:32:50Would you please welcome
00:32:52From the police
00:32:52Stuart Copeland
00:32:53And from Pink Floyd
00:32:54Nick Mason
00:32:55Look at this
00:32:59We are in the presence
00:33:02Of greatness
00:33:03Gentlemen
00:33:05Nick
00:33:06Have a seat
00:33:08Stuart
00:33:08Holy cow
00:33:10Look at that
00:33:11We are not messing around
00:33:14Tonight
00:33:14Genuine rock gods
00:33:18Have come among us
00:33:19You are both regarded
00:33:21As particularly
00:33:21Excellent drummers
00:33:23Well, by each other
00:33:24And the one thing
00:33:27I see that you have in common
00:33:29Is your favourite drummer
00:33:29Is the same person
00:33:30Yeah, Mitch Mitchell
00:33:31We worked this out last night
00:33:32We've sorted out the hierarchy
00:33:34That's exactly right
00:33:36And I knew we were really on it
00:33:38Because the table next door
00:33:39Were beginning to eavesdrop
00:33:41And after five minutes
00:33:42And after five minutes
00:33:42They'd both actually
00:33:43Gone to sleep
00:33:44That's right
00:33:45Yeah, we lost them
00:33:46We lost them by the main course
00:33:47So you both agree that Mitch Mitchell
00:33:48Was your favourite drummer
00:33:50Yeah, favourite
00:33:51Of all time
00:33:51This was Jimi Hendrix's drummer
00:33:53I think we should explain to those of you
00:33:54Who are not as old as let's say we are
00:33:57Well, that's the travesty right there
00:33:58This great towering
00:34:00This monument of drums
00:34:01Was Jimi Hendrix's drummer
00:34:04Well, how would you describe him?
00:34:05Well, Jimi was Mitch's guitarist
00:34:07Okay
00:34:08One of the things that fascinates me
00:34:12Is why a drummer is always the butt of everybody's wit
00:34:14Well, when I say wit
00:34:15Well, it's because
00:34:16It's because they secretly admire our dragging knuckles
00:34:20They sense our power
00:34:23But there are so many jokes, right
00:34:24What does a drummer get on an IQ test?
00:34:28Drool
00:34:28Yeah, drool
00:34:29Hey, hey, hey
00:34:30What do you throw a drowning guitarist?
00:34:33His amp
00:34:33How do you know it's the lead guitarist at the front door?
00:34:40Got the wrong key, doesn't know when to come in
00:34:41Yeah
00:34:42That's a good one
00:34:46So we like the guitarist jokes
00:34:48Yeah, got any more jokes?
00:34:51By the way, since we are the gnarliest members of the band
00:34:55For two hours we chop wood for a living
00:34:57And they're pretty little
00:34:59You're giving it
00:35:01It's hard work as well
00:35:03They tell these jokes and we just take it
00:35:05We do
00:35:06Because that's how great we are
00:35:07You have a rule as well
00:35:09If you make a mistake with drumming
00:35:11Which I particularly enjoy
00:35:12The suggestion is if you do make a mistake
00:35:15Look angrily at the bass player
00:35:18What the hell are you doing?
00:35:21Let's move on to gigs
00:35:22You both presumably played really big ones over the years
00:35:26What's been your biggest, do you reckon?
00:35:28Well, we've been comparing notes
00:35:29But, you know, you played a stadium
00:35:30And, you know, they're...
00:35:31We sell out
00:35:32A stadium, yeah, you sell...
00:35:34A stadium's a stadium
00:35:35But I think he's still got me
00:35:36We all played the Stade du France
00:35:38I played it twice
00:35:39You know, two nights running
00:35:40He played it three times running
00:35:42Yeah
00:35:42Okay, he beat me on this one
00:35:44And then he beat me on that one
00:35:45And then, yeah, yeah
00:35:46Because he came before me
00:35:47This is the way musicians establish the hierarchy
00:35:49He's a drummer, they always come to it
00:35:50His chronology
00:35:50You know, Manfred Mam outranks me
00:35:52Because he came before
00:35:53But Kanye is my bitch
00:35:55Now, I've got a question here from Richard Hammond
00:36:05Oh, God
00:36:06Where is he?
00:36:07Where is he?
00:36:07Richard Hammond is there
00:36:09He's in the audience
00:36:10He's a big fan of One Direction
00:36:11What?
00:36:13And his question is
00:36:14How do you old dinosaurs feel
00:36:15Now that music's got so good
00:36:17I didn't say that
00:36:18I did not say that
00:36:21I did say that
00:36:22I didn't say that
00:36:23I want to say that
00:36:24I think I'll let Mr. Mason handle this one
00:36:27Yes
00:36:28Well, I'd like to go on record
00:36:30As saying that
00:36:30Fairly recently
00:36:32I was on a show
00:36:34I was promoting something
00:36:36Probably double glazing
00:36:37And I was with
00:36:38Harry Styles was on as well
00:36:41And I did offer to play drums for him
00:36:42Because I'm really looking for work
00:36:44I mean
00:36:45Anyway, look
00:36:47We've got to get on to
00:36:47No, actually
00:36:48No, we haven't
00:36:49No, not yet
00:36:50Because I want to talk about fathers
00:36:51Because your father was
00:36:53A wonderful man
00:36:54And a CIA spy
00:36:56That too
00:36:57No, but he actually
00:36:59No, he was a great father
00:37:00And he was a jazz musician
00:37:01That's why I knew him
00:37:02And he was
00:37:03Before the war
00:37:04He played jazz
00:37:05And I've still got his trumpet
00:37:06He was a session player
00:37:07Then the war
00:37:09The Great War broke out
00:37:10And he joined the army
00:37:10And got into intelligence
00:37:11And he shaped the modern Middle East
00:37:14As it was up until 9-11
00:37:15Everything that happened after 9-11
00:37:17Is not my dad's fault
00:37:18No
00:37:19But it was
00:37:20But because
00:37:20I mean, he was very instrumental
00:37:22In Nasser in Egypt
00:37:23Wasn't he?
00:37:23Yeah
00:37:23Well, when I was born
00:37:25Daddy was away on business
00:37:27In Cairo
00:37:27Installing Gamal Abdel Nasser
00:37:29As the dictator of Egypt
00:37:31Did you know your dad was CIA?
00:37:33I didn't know
00:37:33Until I was in college
00:37:35And his book came out
00:37:37And on the liner notes
00:37:38Of the book
00:37:39But when he was
00:37:42But when did he stop
00:37:43Being a spy?
00:37:44Well, certainly after
00:37:46He'd written the book
00:37:46Yeah
00:37:47And your father
00:37:54We can turn to that
00:37:55Now, he was a documentary maker
00:37:57But mostly
00:37:58A motorizing enthusiast
00:38:00Yeah
00:38:00Which has rubbed off on you
00:38:02Just a bit
00:38:04This is where I'm afraid
00:38:05We have to tune you out
00:38:06Slightly, Stuart
00:38:07For a little while
00:38:08Because next car collection
00:38:10Is
00:38:10Well, there's a car show
00:38:11It is a car show
00:38:12Not a spy daddy show
00:38:13I thought it was
00:38:14A sort of
00:38:14How many cars have you got?
00:38:17I don't know
00:38:18Um
00:38:18I've got a list here
00:38:28Of some of them
00:38:28Because we're not talking now
00:38:30About, you know
00:38:30Like a Ford Cortina
00:38:32Because you've got
00:38:33Alfa Romeo TZ1
00:38:34Aston Martin Ulster
00:38:361930 Bentley
00:38:374.5 litre
00:38:38Bugatti Type 35
00:38:40Ferrari 250 GTO
00:38:42Ferrari 250 LM
00:38:44Ferrari 512
00:38:45Bellator Boxer
00:38:46Ferrari Daytona Competition
00:38:47Ferrari F40
00:38:49Model T4
00:38:50Jaguar D-Type
00:38:51Maserati 250F
00:38:53Maserati Birdcage
00:38:54McLaren GTR
00:38:56It's a remarkable collection
00:38:58Which is your favourite?
00:39:00Er
00:39:00It
00:39:01It always has to be
00:39:02The 250 GTO
00:39:03Because it makes me
00:39:05Look clever
00:39:05You know
00:39:06When I bought this car
00:39:0740 years ago
00:39:08May I just ask
00:39:09It's a rude question
00:39:10I know
00:39:10But how much did you pay
00:39:12For the GTO?
00:39:14I paid
00:39:14About 35 grand for it
00:39:1635,000
00:39:17And it's now worth
00:39:18I've
00:39:19Don't tell me
00:39:2030 million
00:39:21No, more than that
00:39:24Where are all these cars?
00:39:29Oh God
00:39:30I've left them on a meter
00:39:31You got like
00:39:32A garage from hell?
00:39:34These are largely racing cars
00:39:36It's racing that
00:39:37Interests you more than
00:39:38Yeah
00:39:39I never
00:39:39I never want to be a car collector
00:39:41I want to go motor racing
00:39:42And you do actually use them
00:39:44Yes
00:39:45And lend them out
00:39:46Not often
00:39:48But occasionally
00:39:48You lend them to your family
00:39:49Yes
00:39:51Who'd like to see a photograph
00:39:52Of what your daughter did to her
00:39:54There she is
00:39:56Oh
00:39:56That's your little girl
00:39:58It's known as the cupcake
00:39:59Gloves and the helmet
00:40:02And the look
00:40:03I like the way she's still
00:40:04Go great in the pink cupcake
00:40:05She's trying to steer it still
00:40:07If you sort of look on the side
00:40:07It all looks
00:40:08She hasn't given up
00:40:09That's what I really
00:40:10I'm sorry to get this back
00:40:11Right
00:40:13Come on then Stuart
00:40:14Let's get to your cars
00:40:15It starts with a
00:40:16It's not quite as impressive as Nick's
00:40:18Is it?
00:40:18A Morris Traveller
00:40:19There you go
00:40:20I got it from 40 quid from a gypsy
00:40:22And I spent most of the time under it
00:40:24That was when you were in the UK?
00:40:26Yeah
00:40:26And I had a Millman Minx
00:40:28For a very short amount of time
00:40:29A Minx?
00:40:30A Millman Hinks
00:40:32Met its end in Hammersmith
00:40:34No, how?
00:40:36Well I was pulling around Hammersmith
00:40:38And the articulated lorry
00:40:40Came in front of me
00:40:40And so I slowed down
00:40:43And the back of a truck
00:40:45Ran over
00:40:46And squashed my Hillman Minx
00:40:48Like a bug
00:40:49On right there in Hammersmith
00:40:51And as I'm looking
00:40:52At the smouldering remains
00:40:53Of my car
00:40:53A cop comes up
00:40:55And gave me a ticket
00:40:56For bald tires
00:40:57It's cruel
00:41:00Anyway
00:41:01Look
00:41:02We've got to get onto your laps
00:41:03Now whose lap
00:41:05Shall we see first?
00:41:06Let me think
00:41:06I think we should start with
00:41:08Well let's be honest
00:41:10Let's start with the older gentleman
00:41:11The pro
00:41:11The older statesman
00:41:12The pro
00:41:13Okay
00:41:13Who'd like to see Nick's lap?
00:41:15Yeah
00:41:15Come on then
00:41:16Let's have a look
00:41:17That's how you do it
00:41:23Okay
00:41:23Launch control
00:41:24And
00:41:26Oh look at that
00:41:27For a tidy line
00:41:29This is a man
00:41:30Who's done racing before
00:41:32Holding it nicely there
00:41:34And onto the ground
00:41:37Very nice
00:41:37Very nice
00:41:38Look at that
00:41:38No brake lights
00:41:39Oh but
00:41:40There should have been perhaps
00:41:41Because that's quite wide
00:41:43And there we are
00:41:45So quick at the beginning
00:41:46Slow now
00:41:47Typical drummer
00:41:48Down to drift
00:41:49Oh look at that
00:41:52That's nicely done
00:41:53Nicely
00:41:54Nicely
00:41:54And into difficult bit too
00:41:57You're just kissing those lines
00:41:59So neatly
00:42:00That boats well
00:42:01No it does
00:42:02Because you know
00:42:03It doesn't look particularly fast
00:42:05But I can just see
00:42:06So look
00:42:06That's really skinny
00:42:08That bit
00:42:08The gravel's insane
00:42:10Yeah
00:42:10No the gravel's insane
00:42:11But when you get back on the tarmac
00:42:12Oh that was wide
00:42:15Right now
00:42:15Into the fast bit
00:42:16Oh
00:42:17Scary
00:42:18Yeah
00:42:20It is that fast
00:42:21It is quite scary
00:42:22Through here
00:42:23That is tidally done
00:42:25Did you lift?
00:42:30And there we are
00:42:30He is across the line
00:42:32So that's good
00:42:33You're there
00:42:33Did you lift up
00:42:35On the fast bit?
00:42:36By the end of it
00:42:37I did it flat
00:42:38You did it flat
00:42:39Oh I'll tell you then
00:42:41Who'd like to see Stuart's lap?
00:42:44Let's have a look
00:42:45At Stuart's lap
00:42:46Yep
00:42:50Tidy start
00:42:51Hallelujah
00:42:52Geronimo
00:42:53Are we as tidy as Nic?
00:42:56No we're just cheating
00:42:57Off of course
00:42:58No that was nice through there
00:42:59Now I like to slow it
00:43:00Yes that's good
00:43:01Keep it on the right
00:43:03Ready for the left
00:43:04And on to the difficult bit
00:43:05When it starts to just
00:43:06Snake around on you
00:43:07This is insane
00:43:08This gravel is just
00:43:10Completely insane
00:43:11Now I can tell you're
00:43:12Really enjoying the gravel
00:43:14I hate the dirt
00:43:15The dirt sucks
00:43:17I don't know what I mean
00:43:17I got that wrong
00:43:18But this bit
00:43:19Right
00:43:19Yes
00:43:20Nicely done
00:43:21You're a lot more violent
00:43:22I'd say than Nic here
00:43:23A lot more
00:43:24Yeah look at that
00:43:25Kicking the tail out
00:43:26Kicking the tail out
00:43:28Again
00:43:28Soon you'll be back though
00:43:30A bit of a weave
00:43:31On that there
00:43:32Tarmac
00:43:32Must be said
00:43:33I approve of the
00:43:35It's looking really dramatic
00:43:37It is dramatic
00:43:38It's a lot more dramatic
00:43:39Looking than Nic's lap
00:43:40But
00:43:41Let's go
00:43:42This is a man on a mission
00:43:45Oh Christ
00:43:46That is quick through there
00:43:48I'm going to be honest
00:43:49It's nicely held
00:43:50Stay on course here
00:43:51Okay this is a big turn
00:43:52Big turn and you've made it
00:43:53There we are
00:43:54He's made it back all the way
00:43:55That's a lot
00:43:56Who shall we do first
00:44:04I think we're going to go with
00:44:07Steady Eddie here
00:44:08Nic Mason
00:44:09121.3
00:44:11Well you don't know
00:44:12You're pulling a face
00:44:13But you don't know
00:44:14What anyone else did
00:44:15But yeah you are
00:44:15At 121.3
00:44:16Just to give you an idea
00:44:18That puts you in
00:44:18Exactly the same time
00:44:19As Luke Evans
00:44:20Who's in Fast and the Furious
00:44:22Quicker than Hugh Bonneville
00:44:23Quicker than Michael Ball
00:44:24Quicker than David Hasselhoff
00:44:26Whoa
00:44:27That's some shit
00:44:28Stuart Copeland
00:44:29You looked faster
00:44:32Felt faster
00:44:33Felt faster
00:44:34But you did it in 124.2
00:44:37So
00:44:39Hey
00:44:44I made it around the course
00:44:46You made it around the course
00:44:48Mostly
00:44:48But I don't think
00:44:49We've had anyone slower
00:44:50No I'm lying
00:44:53Bill Bailey
00:44:54A well-known comedian
00:44:56Yes Bill
00:44:56You my bitch
00:44:57Bill Bailey and Alfie Bo
00:45:00They're both slower
00:45:01Two bitches
00:45:01You've got two British bitches
00:45:03So there we are ladies and gentlemen
00:45:05Thank you so much
00:45:06Stuart Copeland
00:45:07And the fastest drummer
00:45:10From a band beginning with P
00:45:11Nick Mason
00:45:12Now tonight
00:45:23Hammond and Clarkson
00:45:24Are driving around France
00:45:26In some rubbish
00:45:27And I've turned up
00:45:28In a modern
00:45:28Honda Civic Type R
00:45:30To prove that
00:45:30Modern cars
00:45:31Are more reliable
00:45:32More comfortable
00:45:33And in fact
00:45:34Better in every single way
00:45:35Yeah whatever
00:45:37When we left the action
00:45:37I was standing outside
00:45:39Our overnight hotel
00:45:40Trying to work out
00:45:41How to secure
00:45:42A million pound Jaguar
00:45:43That has no roof
00:45:45Or door locks
00:45:46It was a problem
00:45:47We pick up the action
00:45:48The following morning
00:45:50Morning
00:46:03Morning
00:46:04Morning
00:46:05Sleep well
00:46:06No
00:46:07Did you do that?
00:46:17Yeah I got bored
00:46:18I'm amazed you didn't notice
00:46:20Well it could have something
00:46:21To do with the fact
00:46:22That nobody ever looks
00:46:24At their number plate
00:46:25Before they drive off
00:46:26Good point
00:46:29Ah
00:46:30Soon they'd got
00:46:35Their stupid cars going
00:46:37And we were on our way
00:46:38To the mountains
00:46:40While I was asleep
00:46:42In my luxurious hotel bed
00:46:44Last night
00:46:44I came up with
00:46:45A bit of a plan
00:46:46We'd head over the Pyrenees
00:46:50Into Spain
00:46:51And down to Barcelona
00:46:53To try our cars
00:46:54On a very special track
00:46:56That I'd heard about
00:46:57On the way
00:46:59I'd prove my car was better
00:47:01And at the circuit
00:47:02I'd prove that
00:47:03Even with me at the helm
00:47:04It's faster as well
00:47:06Here's what you need to know
00:47:09About old cars
00:47:11They are great to look at
00:47:14But you don't want
00:47:16To drive one
00:47:16Any more than you want
00:47:18To use an old
00:47:18Twin tub washing machine
00:47:20They're just crap
00:47:22I honestly don't know
00:47:24What James May's on about
00:47:26I don't like old stuff
00:47:28He does it
00:47:28He can't get enough of it
00:47:30He owns a 1977 Ferrari
00:47:33He has a collection
00:47:35Of ancient Honda motorcycles
00:47:37Does he spend his spare time
00:47:40Fixing computers
00:47:41Or going to raves
00:47:42No
00:47:43He spends it
00:47:44Eating old fashioned pies
00:47:46And helping his friends
00:47:47Rebuild a steam engine
00:47:49I know some of you
00:47:50Think I'm being
00:47:51Deliberately obtuse
00:47:53Driving this Honda
00:47:54But I'm not
00:47:54I promise you
00:47:55I do genuinely like it
00:47:57Not only does it hold
00:48:02The lap record
00:48:03For front wheel drive cars
00:48:04Around the NΓΌrburgring
00:48:06It's seven seconds
00:48:07Faster than the old one
00:48:08It's done that
00:48:09While becoming more refined
00:48:11The engine's smoother
00:48:12The ride's more supple
00:48:13It's just a bit better
00:48:15All round
00:48:16It's tremendous
00:48:17It's also very easy to drive
00:48:21Which old cars
00:48:22Are not
00:48:23Annoyingly
00:48:35At slow speeds
00:48:36James had a point
00:48:37The Aston was a tricky little sod
00:48:40That gearbox line
00:48:43It's quite pronounced
00:48:46And then
00:48:49There was the change action
00:48:51On balance
00:48:58I think I prefer
00:48:59A double clutch system
00:49:02With paddles
00:49:03I'm just trying to do it
00:49:05With my shirt sleeves
00:49:06Because it's quite chilly
00:49:08And that'll make a difference
00:49:09Definitely getting colder
00:49:13Fortunately
00:49:14The 3.4 litre straight six
00:49:17Generates so much heat
00:49:19And there is so little shielding
00:49:21That whilst my top half is cold
00:49:23My bottom half is toasty warm
00:49:26Window doesn't wind down
00:49:29No vents
00:49:30No air conditioning
00:49:31No air in here at all
00:49:34In fact
00:49:35Just heat
00:49:36What I'm being is casserold
00:49:40And soon things got worse
00:49:44I'm trying not to shiver
00:49:47Because a thick fog descended
00:49:50This meant we had to slow down even more
00:49:54And that made the Aston even worse
00:50:00This is very authentically 50s
00:50:13I'm enjoying it
00:50:14It's sometimes quite difficult
00:50:17To get it into gear
00:50:18I'm just going to try that in my car
00:50:20Hold on
00:50:21Let's have second gear
00:50:23And even knock it down to first
00:50:26Yeah
00:50:26Second
00:50:29I know it works
00:50:29Now mine's a piece of cake
00:50:32But there's no sense of satisfaction
00:50:35Is there
00:50:35When you do it right
00:50:36Yeah there is
00:50:38After a little while
00:50:41The fog went from thick
00:50:42To impenetrable
00:50:44I can see
00:50:48Pretty much nothing now
00:50:50Lights don't help
00:50:52And the windscreen wipers
00:50:53Just move the water around
00:50:55On the windscreen
00:50:56Literally can't see a thing now
00:51:00Fog
00:51:01Rain
00:51:02Noise
00:51:04A lot of noise
00:51:06Yeah I'm quite cold now
00:51:09However the impending hypothermia
00:51:15Was not my main worry
00:51:16Oh my god
00:51:18Not sounding
00:51:20Yeah it's not good
00:51:21I'm having to slip the clutch
00:51:24To sort of keep it moving at all
00:51:26Yeah I think I'm down to three cylinders now
00:51:30And then I had a good old 1950s breakdown
00:51:36What's the matter with it
00:51:41I think it's the spark plugs are all fouled up
00:51:44Gummed up
00:51:45Well don't tell James
00:51:48Oh well where is he
00:51:50I don't even know where my car is
00:51:53And only parts are over there
00:51:54You can't see a down thing
00:51:56No that's true
00:51:56Well at least he won't have seen me doing this
00:51:58He could drive by
00:51:59Well I'll you go ahead
00:52:02Look tell him I'm behind him
00:52:05Or I'm ahead somewhere
00:52:06I could only be 100 yards away
00:52:07I'll get back on the road
00:52:08You get back on the road
00:52:09Tell him I'm there
00:52:10I'll fix this
00:52:10And then you'll never know
00:52:11Exactly
00:52:11Tell him I'm having a lovely time
00:52:13And
00:52:13It's starting to rain though
00:52:14Hammond
00:52:15Yes I know
00:52:15Have you got a jacket
00:52:17No
00:52:18Where's my bloody car
00:52:22Has anyone
00:52:24Can anyone see an Aston Morton anywhere
00:52:26Hello
00:52:29Hammond
00:52:32I found a car here
00:52:35It's oh it's a
00:52:36It's a Toyota
00:52:37And they're dogging
00:52:40They really are actually
00:52:44That's quite embarrassing
00:52:45Yeah they're driving away now
00:52:51Because they realise
00:52:52Hello
00:52:55Sorry
00:52:56I need to see here
00:53:09Leaving Hammond to his repairs on Dogger Bank
00:53:15I made some changes in my car
00:53:17And set off to find James
00:53:19Oh yes
00:53:24I have improved my Aston Martin
00:53:28All of a sudden my car makes sense
00:53:32I can't hear it
00:53:34And then I came across as Bowman
00:53:38Who was immediately suspicious
00:53:39Where's Hammond
00:53:42Yeah he's in front of me
00:53:44I'm driving right now
00:53:46I can see him plain as day
00:53:47The fog is lifting
00:53:51And I can't help noticing
00:53:52That Richard Hammond
00:53:53Who is supposedly in front of you
00:53:54Is driving a Land Rover Discovery
00:53:57Filming car
00:53:58No no
00:53:59He overtook it
00:54:01It roared off
00:54:03Unbelievable speed
00:54:04I couldn't keep up
00:54:05His car's broken
00:54:06Hasn't it
00:54:07No
00:54:07Are your brakes squeaking?
00:54:11Oh they're birds
00:54:13It's birdsong
00:54:14Right James look out
00:54:15There are cows
00:54:16Followed by Hitler
00:54:18No it's not Hitler
00:54:22It's Winston Churchill
00:54:23The cow has attacked
00:54:30The Aston Martin
00:54:31Don't do that
00:54:36Go and attack the Honda
00:54:37Meanwhile
00:54:40I'd got my car going again
00:54:42And was starting to regret it
00:54:44Yeah this is quite hard work now
00:54:46I'll be honest
00:54:47I'm getting pretty tired
00:54:48But my left leg is agony
00:54:51Gear change
00:54:53My knee hurts
00:54:56Some of my ears actually
00:54:59I'm also quite cold
00:55:01The truth is that in the fog
00:55:05At slow speeds
00:55:06On James' ridiculous route
00:55:08Which was full of wartime leaders
00:55:10And attack cows
00:55:11The older cars here
00:55:13Had been hard work
00:55:15But as we crested the Pyrenees
00:55:20The fog lifted
00:55:21This meant I could drive the Aston
00:55:29At the only speed it understands
00:55:31Flat out
00:55:34Providing of course
00:55:41I could get past James May
00:55:43I'm going into R mode
00:55:50The lights on the instruments
00:55:51Have gone red
00:55:52Goodbye
00:55:54Mr Clarkson
00:55:56He's going down
00:56:02Oh he's going down so badly
00:56:06I'm all over the back of him now
00:56:09I have more power
00:56:12And less weight
00:56:14He can come snatching around
00:56:18With his massive engine
00:56:20But as soon as we get to the curves
00:56:21I pull away
00:56:22Coming through
00:56:25I was back in front
00:56:34And more importantly
00:56:36Back in love with my Aston
00:56:38What a car this is
00:56:42Oh
00:56:43You have to drive it
00:56:46Every gear change
00:56:47Has to be worked out
00:56:49Every steering movement
00:56:51Thought through
00:56:52And you can never get to a corner
00:56:55And think
00:56:56I won't bother here
00:56:57And towing you
00:56:57You have to
00:56:59Or it won't go into gear
00:57:00As we entered Spain
00:57:07We were back as a three
00:57:08And soon
00:57:11We reached Barcelona
00:57:12A city
00:57:13Known for many things
00:57:15It's cathedral
00:57:17It's cafes
00:57:18And it's interesting architecture
00:57:21But actually
00:57:22The most impressive thing here
00:57:24Is this
00:57:26It's called the Terramar
00:57:32And it's the oldest surviving banked track in Europe
00:57:35It opened in 1923
00:57:39Staged one big race
00:57:41And due to some unpaid bills
00:57:43Closed a day later
00:57:45For the last 50 years
00:57:47It's been a chicken farm
00:57:49OK
00:57:53Congratulations James
00:57:55This is
00:57:55The steepest banked circuit
00:57:57I've ever, ever seen
00:57:59And I'm not even at the steep bit of it yet
00:58:0178 degrees at the top
00:58:03Apparently
00:58:03What's your plan, May?
00:58:06Well, what I thought we'd do
00:58:07Is put a speed trap
00:58:09At the end of this curve
00:58:10Where it goes level again
00:58:11And whoever achieves the highest speed
00:58:13Through this banking
00:58:14Is the winner
00:58:14Right
00:58:15Can we have a bit of practice first?
00:58:18Could I make a couple of modifications
00:58:19To my Aston?
00:58:21Not if it's swapping it for a DB11
00:58:23I literally can't get any higher than this
00:58:27And we've got to drive up there
00:58:28We do, don't we?
00:58:29To go fastest
00:58:30If you go off the edge
00:58:31Yeah?
00:58:32It's oblivion
00:58:33No, because the tree will stop us, won't it?
00:58:36No
00:58:36Before we embarked on our practice lamps
00:58:41I set about my important modifications
00:58:44What are you doing?
00:58:47I'm giving my car air conditioning
00:58:50You're drilling holes in a Β£1.5 million car
00:58:54I couldn't do that
00:58:59That's the difference between you and me
00:59:00I'm practical
00:59:01No, that's vandalism
00:59:02It's not vandalism
00:59:04It's got a hole in it
00:59:05But now I'll be able to breathe
00:59:07And see where I'm going
00:59:08Which is important
00:59:09When the track is at that angle
00:59:11That's like saying Westminster Abbey's in the way
00:59:13I'll knock it down
00:59:14So I get a better view
00:59:15It's still vandalism
00:59:16You don't like old things
00:59:17So why wouldn't you knock Westminster Abbey down?
00:59:19I like Westminster Abbey
00:59:20Hoist by his own petard
00:59:22Another one here
00:59:24With the aircon sorted
00:59:28It was time to start practicing
00:59:30On what over the years
00:59:32Has become a bumpy
00:59:33Pothole death trap
00:59:3560 miles an hour
00:59:42As I approach
00:59:42Whoa, big pothole there
00:59:45The first corner
00:59:47Already
00:59:50I can tell it's very bumpy
00:59:52Whoa, steering's not very weird
00:59:56Christ, it's alarming
01:00:03It's bloody ridiculous
01:00:06To look where you're going
01:00:07You have to look up
01:00:08That doesn't happen in cars
01:00:10It's wrong
01:00:11Coming up to the second bank turn
01:00:18Christ
01:00:23The bumps are so unnerving
01:00:27Jesus
01:00:29Apparently
01:00:30Some of them are so violent
01:00:33They can make the car
01:00:34Jump
01:00:35Four feet to the right
01:00:37The forces being exerted
01:00:41On the outside tires
01:00:43Are unbelievable
01:00:44We are talking planetary energy
01:00:47Aware of this
01:00:51Hammond was starting to make
01:00:53Squeaky noises
01:00:53He said I want to go up there
01:01:02I want to go up there
01:01:04I'm going to try and lift it up
01:01:08The banking on this one
01:01:09Here we go
01:01:10Oh shit
01:01:16That was a big bump
01:01:17F***
01:01:19F***
01:01:20F***
01:01:21F***
01:01:22F***
01:01:23Jesus Christ
01:01:28That's terrible
01:01:29Finally
01:01:31The practice laps were over
01:01:33Oh Christ
01:01:34This
01:01:35F***
01:01:36Scary
01:01:37The problem with going around
01:01:39A bank turn is
01:01:40There's nothing you can do
01:01:42You can't slow down
01:01:43You can't speed up
01:01:44If anything goes wrong
01:01:45You're a passenger
01:01:46And because he was aware of that too
01:01:51Squeaky boy decided
01:01:52He didn't want to play anymore
01:01:54Yeah well my practice laps
01:01:56Have told me one thing
01:01:57I don't want to do it
01:01:59I've just gone right off
01:02:02Huge motoring accidents
01:02:03At the moment
01:02:04Right off them
01:02:05Having decided
01:02:08He didn't want to buy the farm
01:02:10He went off
01:02:11To buy a farmhouse instead
01:02:13So it became
01:02:14A two car shootout
01:02:15And Asbo man
01:02:17Was the first to go
01:02:18Concentrate may
01:02:25Concentrate
01:02:26Give me some beanage
01:02:29Shit that's terrifying
01:02:41Bumpy
01:02:58Bumpy
01:03:00Let's make the winds
01:03:02Remipers come on
01:03:03Jeez
01:03:18That is not a pleasant sensation
01:03:20I promise you
01:03:21Right this is it
01:03:32Let's see how fast
01:03:34I can make this thing go
01:03:35Shit that is not a fort
01:03:37That's boss
01:03:37I wasn't
01:03:51Eh
01:03:51Yeah
01:03:52I can make this thing go
01:03:54Look how fast
01:03:54Oh no
01:03:55I can make this happen
01:03:56I don't have ΠΏΡΡΠΌ
01:03:56I can make this
01:03:57All right
01:03:58Also
01:03:59Let's see your
01:04:00Oh, my giddy-on, that is some Jesus Christ.
01:04:17That's bumpy.
01:04:18Shit, f***.
01:04:21Oh, f*** me.
01:04:30That's one of the scariest things I've ever done in a car.
01:04:40Ever.
01:04:45Well done. Well done.
01:04:48Well done.
01:04:49I've got to say, um...
01:04:51We weren't joking there.
01:04:54He really did go and buy a farmhouse in southwest France.
01:04:57And actually, James and I wish we'd gone with him
01:05:00because that was hideously terrifying.
01:05:03This is awful.
01:05:04It really was.
01:05:05Anyway, I have the numbers from the speed trap here.
01:05:08And, Jeremy Clarkson, you passed it at 89 miles an hour.
01:05:13Well done.
01:05:13That is brave.
01:05:15You're brave.
01:05:16Was it really 89?
01:05:18Yeah, wasn't it?
01:05:21And then, James May, you passed it at...
01:05:2693 miles an hour.
01:05:28LAUGHTER
01:05:29James May has won a thing.
01:05:32How staggered he has.
01:05:34He's won a thing.
01:05:37And what you've proved is, by being so speedy,
01:05:41that modern cars are four miles an hour faster than they were 60 years ago.
01:05:46Yeah.
01:05:47The thing is, though, you can't actually drive your cars on the road.
01:05:50Well, no, the Aston, I have to admit, at slow speed, is very difficult.
01:05:53I mean, if you try and tickle it into gear, it just won't have it.
01:05:56The only language it understands is violence.
01:05:59You ram it in and then you're fine.
01:06:01That's not what I was talking about.
01:06:02You're not actually allowed to drive your cars on the road, I.
01:06:05I did, because Aston registered that one as a prototype, so I could.
01:06:10Yeah, it was a bit more complicated in the Jag.
01:06:12Why?
01:06:12Because it was registered as a test car, so technically only a Jaguar employee can drive it.
01:06:18So how did you?
01:06:19I had to get a job with Jaguar.
01:06:22Seriously?
01:06:22Yeah, I now work for Jaguar.
01:06:24I did.
01:06:25But as my job is now done, Jaguar, I'm afraid I'll resign.
01:06:31How will the news go down in Wall Street?
01:06:34It'll affect the share price.
01:06:36The news will be Hammond Rock City with Shock Jag Move.
01:06:39That could be the headline, or it could be Hamster Screws Big Cat.
01:06:43That would do it.
01:06:44I would cover it.
01:06:45Look, here is the truth of it.
01:06:48If you went out and bought one of those cars, you wouldn't legally be allowed to drive it on the road, would you?
01:06:56No, you wouldn't.
01:06:57So you've actually wasted everybody's time, haven't you?
01:07:00A bit, yeah.
01:07:01Yeah, a bit.
01:07:02And on that terrible disappointment, it is time to end.
01:07:05Thank you so much for watching.
01:07:06See you next time.
01:07:07Goodbye.
01:07:07Goodbye.