00:00Think of her outbursts as a cry for connection, a way of saying, I need you to see me and
00:05value me.
00:06Right now, you're likely caught up in that crazy cycle.
00:11Her anger feels disrespectful to you.
00:13So you withdraw, and your withdrawal feels unloving to her.
00:16So she becomes angrier and even more insecure and panics.
00:20And then you don't know what to do with that because it's like, whoa, this cycle perpetuates
00:26itself, leaving both of you feeling unheard, unloved, and disrespected.
00:30So breaking free requires one of you to step out of the pattern.
00:34And I'm going to take the position that even though she appears forceful, it's a cover-up
00:38for a deeper insecurity and feelings of inadequacy and these fears.
00:43And as a man of honor, you are uniquely positioned to take the lead.
00:47So are you willing to take the first step here?
00:50An unconditional love is this unconditional positive regard toward her spirit while she's
00:57coming to you as a flamethrower.
00:59And that's not easy, but it is possible.
01:01Your wife's deepest need is for love, just as your deepest need is for respect.
01:05And who's going to move first here?
01:07Well, I'm asking you to.
01:09I'm asking you to.
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