00:00And it's the opposite of how most men try to create that safety by controlling.
00:05And what that does is make their emotions unsafe for them to express.
00:10And if they think they can't express their emotions because you can't handle it,
00:14then it becomes very hard for them to truly trust you with their heart.
00:20That's why I think conversations like these are just so important.
00:27And even learning how to communicate the way that you did.
00:31Because a lot of us out there, a lot of men out there will take that and not know how to say what you said.
00:38But when you break it down like that and you're that precise with your words, it makes a lot of sense.
00:44And also understand it came, I learned that from being in a relationship in which I couldn't do that.
00:51And that relationship ended.
00:53And so if I had known how to do that, maybe that relationship works.
00:58Maybe that creates the safety.
01:00But she also said that she needed to do all this work.
01:03I don't know which is which, right?
01:06It's a little bit of both.
01:07And I don't think it actually matters.
01:09I think that what is important in relationship is that you and me are committed to being the best version of ourselves
01:16and showing up for each other in ways that are uniquely for your wounds.
01:23I'm not here saying, oh, that's your problem.
01:26You go deal with it and come back when you're all ready and healed.
01:30That's not what it means to actually be in relationship.
01:35Me being in relationship with you means I know that you have work to do and I have work to do.
01:40And we're here to do it together.
01:41But where, I don't know if you've seen a lot of these posts online recently, but a lot of posts are about what I'm talking about now.
01:50I see a lot of them.
01:51Maybe it's because it's just my feed.
01:52But people talking about you're signing up for the wounds of your partner when you get into relationship as well.
01:59But one of the pieces that I think is missing from that is when you are fighting as a couple, it's important to be fighting for the relationship, not against each other.
02:14And in order to fight for the relationship, you have to establish what that is.
02:19Do you understand what it is that you are fighting for?
02:27And I think that is a really key point to building a healthy relationship.
02:32What?
02:37All right.
02:39Let's go.
02:40We'll be well.
02:41We'll be well.
02:42All right.
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