00:00Oh, fuck me man. Half eight in the fucking morning, man.
00:05Fucking eyes are stuck together with fucking gunk.
00:09Can't fucking see fuck all, man.
00:12Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kid two and three's buggered off to school now.
00:17Fucking hell. Fucking Barry, man. Nut fucking bag.
00:21Fucking, you know what I mean, man? Fucking piss flap.
00:27Yeah, well, yeah, you know what I mean? I fucking no work again, man.
00:31Fucking dickhead. Yeah, fuck you.
00:36Anyway, I'm going.
00:40Fuck me, man. What the fuck, anyway?
00:44Still half asleep, man. What the fuck?
00:47Dickhead. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:51I can't fucking cope with this, man.
00:54Fucking hangover I had the other fucking day, man. Oh, God.
00:58Completely bell-ended. Yeah, I was all skew-y all fucking day, man.
01:02All skew-y. Yeah, hoboed, fuck.
01:05Anyway, no work again, man.
01:08Oh, well, the good weather's not going to last much fucking longer, man.
01:13Fucking mong. Mongrel. Yeah, yeah.
01:16Anyway, oh, yeah, I was saying when I was in the pub, yeah, I was saying, yeah,
01:22you know what I mean?
01:241st of August, you know what I mean?
01:26Yeah, one minute past five in the afternoon, man.
01:29Yeah, yeah, she was a bouncer, man, 7th on 8th, yeah.
01:32Yeah, yeah, she's a fucking wailer, man.
01:34Fuck me, she's more wailer than the fucking backing group for Bob Marley, man.
01:39Yeah, yeah, yeah, keeping us up all fucking night, man.
01:42Fucking, really, I'm too...
01:45I'm fucking too old for this crap.
01:48Oh, Jesus Christ, I don't know.
01:50Can't cope, you know what I mean?
01:52Six years of age, man, having kids again.
01:54What the fuck, man? What's the matter with my fucking being, man?
01:57Should keep my fucking pecker in my pants.
02:00In my boyfriends, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:02Oh, what a fuckhead.
02:04Anyway, I'm stuck home again, eh?
02:06No fucking coinage in old pocket again, man.
02:09Fuck off. Fuck off, Barry, you mong.
02:13Fucking spastic.
02:15Yeah, fuck it, I'm still having fucking sleep, man.
02:17I don't know what the fuck I'm on about.
02:19Yeah, yeah.
02:21Oh, well, let's have a cup of coffee and a fucking back of stick,
02:24you know what I mean?
02:25Get my own lungs in order, man.
02:27You know, I'm ready for the fucking...
02:31Ready for looking after the wailer all fucking day, man.
02:34Oh, God, I'd rather go to work, man.
02:36You know, at least I'm getting fucking, you know,
02:39a bit of moolah in your fucking pocket, man.
02:41Now I'm... Oh, fuck off.
02:43Oh, well, what a fucking cock.
02:46Yeah, well, anyway, fuck the bellend.
02:49If you can't be bothered to answer me messages, man,
02:52you can go and fucking kiss my fucking shitty butthole.
02:56Yeah, fuck it.
03:00Anyway, fuck me, I'm just waffling, eh?
03:02Fuck me, I'm telling you, telling you, telling you,
03:04I'm going to fuck off and have a back of stick.
03:07Yeah, yeah, a cup of coffee to fucking, you know, wake me up.
03:12It's going to take more than a fucking cup of coffee, man,
03:15I can tell you. For fuck's sake.
03:17Yeah, well, I'm just going to have to fucking sit on my butt
03:20all day with a wailing kid.
03:22Yeah.
03:25All fucking day, man.
03:29I don't know what the fuck... I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, man.
03:33I don't remember doing anything with my lovely lady, man.
03:36How the fuck did that happen anyway?
03:38I don't know, man.
03:39She must have been...
03:40She must have took advantage of me when I was sleeping, man.
03:43Fucking butt crack. Oh, God, I don't know.
03:46Anyway, no more fucking bell-ending kids for me, man, that's it.
03:50That's me done, man.
03:51Otherwise, I'm going to just put me...
03:55Otherwise, I'll just put me...
03:57..my willy inside a fucking...
03:59..a fucking bison fucking crash-off bugger.
04:02You know what I mean, yeah?
04:04Fucking innocent penguin, innit?
04:06Yeah, well, anyway.
04:07Fuck it, man.
04:08I'm not having any more wailing kids, buggers, for fuck's sake, man.
04:12That's my bell-ends, man.
04:14I feel like I haven't slept since August 1st, man.
04:19And it's now September the 19th, yeah.
04:21Fuck me as well.
04:22My fucking lovely lady's birthday too, 21st,
04:25and I've got no fucking money.
04:27That's going to fucking do it, man.
04:29She's going to cuff me across the fucking nut again, man.
04:32For fuck's sake, man.
04:34It's all right, fuck, if you don't have that phone, does it?
04:37Paddy the bell-end stupid mongrel.
04:40Fuck this, anyway, I'm going to bugger off.
04:42You know what I mean? I'm just waffling on now.
04:44I'm just getting on my own fucking news, man.
04:49I'm off. Fuck this, man.
04:51Back to bed, man.
04:53I'm not allowed because she's...
04:55Oh, fuck this.
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