- 7 weeks ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:30Woo-hoo! Ready to cause some trouble? Come on! Let's get to some invading! We're gonna have a real whale of a time!
00:51I'm feeling hungry.
00:53We're done! I'm going home!
00:55It's a misunderstanding to you!
00:56What's all the fuss about?
00:58I know you've got your eyes on other girls, Ataru! Why not go cry to them?
01:02Hear me out! I swear on my life! My heart's for you only!
01:08You're just trying to sweet-talk me.
01:10I promise that I'm not. I've always felt this way.
01:14Fine, but this is your last chance, okay?
01:21Hey, cutie!
01:22That wasn't even five seconds!
01:24I hate you, Ataru.
01:25You're the worst!
01:27I totally blew it!
01:33Damn it! What's so bad about appreciating other women?
01:37Hold it right there, young man!
01:39You must have threw your life away!
01:41You have to stay strong and keep it together!
01:45What the hell?
01:47Oh!
01:49That's so cold!
01:50I think I was too late.
01:51Rest in peace, kid.
01:53What did you do that for?
01:55You weren't about to jump off the bridge.
01:57I'm certain I saw the shadow of death looming over you.
01:59That's why I ran over to you and tried to help.
02:01I never give up on life because a girl dumped me!
02:05Young man!
02:07What is it?
02:08It's the face of yours!
02:11It's an absolute disaster!
02:13Sorry, what I meant this play is that your physical features indicate very bad luck!
02:20Who the hell are you anyway?
02:22Get off my back!
02:23The traveling mug suck a rumbo!
02:24But please call me Cherry.
02:26Surely our meeting will prove most fruitful!
02:29You better not be following me just to tell crappy-ass jokes, old man!
02:33Ataru!
02:34Hey!
02:35Mom? Shinobu?
02:36What's the matter?
02:37You don't know?
02:38I've been worried sick about you ever since I heard the news!
02:40What kind of news?
02:42Huh?
02:43He's over here!
02:44What the hell?
02:45You're Mr. Ataru Muraboshi, is that correct?
02:47These men are from the government.
02:49They've been looking for you!
02:51Oh, is that right?
02:52Listen, Ataru.
02:54Just stay calm and don't freak out.
02:56Why?
02:57I have no idea what's going on!
03:02You!
03:03Hey, welcome home, young man!
03:05Hey, Oni!
03:09Alright, alright, let's slipper down!
03:12Sorry, kiddo.
03:13I'm afraid I'm not going anywhere.
03:15We're invaders!
03:16Have a seat.
03:17We gotta talk.
03:18Uh, right.
03:19We'll be positioned over the target momentarily.
03:22Prepare the transporter for energy-matter conversion.
03:25Contact has been established with the target.
03:27I gotta fight alien invaders?!
03:29These aliens have asked us to agree to one condition.
03:32It is part of their invasion of Earth.
03:34We want to compete in a showdown against a random human our computer picked.
03:38If we happen to lose this event, we'll give up and go home.
03:41Me?
03:42I'm the one the computer picked out?
03:44That's right!
03:45Please, mister!
03:46Ataru doesn't stand a chance against Oni!
03:48He would end up dead!
03:49What?
03:50He said!
03:51Be gone, demon!
03:52Please!
03:53Take the Oni by the horns!
03:54Because we're challenging you to an old-fashioned game of tag!
03:57Huh?
03:58Like the kids game?
04:08What's the big idea?
04:09Huh?
04:10Hey!
04:11We've been waiting for you!
04:15So...
04:20I take it this guy is my opponent.
04:23Hiya!
04:24My name's Lum.
04:27This here is my daughter!
04:29Isn't she beautiful?
04:30Anyhoo!
04:31Let me explain the game.
04:32You've got ten days to beat her by grabbing her horns!
04:35All I have to do is play tag?
04:37Okay, then.
04:38But I probably can't grab her horns without grabbing her body first!
04:41Hey!
04:42You're not gonna get your hands on me that easily!
04:44That's what you think!
04:45You'll be in my arms by the time we're done!
04:47Atu!
04:48A moment, please!
04:52Moroboshi!
04:53The fate of Earth is in your hands!
04:55This is serious!
04:56They need me!
04:57I'll do it!
04:58Woohoo!
04:59Now we're talking!
05:00The game will start tomorrow!
05:02A big showdown!
05:03With Earth on the line!
05:05It's gonna be an absolute blast!
05:08Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
05:11Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
05:13Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
05:16Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
05:19Yeah, yeah, yeah
05:20No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
05:24Oh, so, yeah
05:27Then you'd like to forget yourそれ
05:29Eat it, leave it back
05:33Weiter it
05:34I didn't失en you
05:37気づかれない 本当もどかしいわ
05:42そんな
05:43聞いてないって 知らないって 私全部全部わかってたいの
05:48ダメだよって そんなこと言われても 意味はわかんないじゃん
05:54不感慨結晶 異常上昇
05:57どこがいいのなんて よく聞かれるけどさ
06:01わからないでいいよ
06:05アイデア増えて増えて増えて止まらないだけ
06:13わからないよ これなんだろ 何千説明しよう
06:18とりあえず私だけ見ててよね
06:24心キョロキョロ許さない
06:26一瞬でも 一秒でも
06:29もうわそうしていたい
06:32また一瞬にいて
06:38Humanity is about to face aliens in a game of tag
06:41Deciding the fate of the planet
06:42The time limit is 10 days sunup to sundown
06:45Representing Earth is high schooler Aturu Morabuchi
06:49If he manages to grab hold of the horse on invader Lum's head
06:52Earth will be victorious
06:54If not, Earth will be invaded
06:59On your marks
07:01Get set
07:04It's logging time
07:06I gotcha
07:12She can fly?
07:17Hey, that's cheating!
07:19How come no one told me you can fly?
07:21Sorry, you really should have done your research
07:23Come and get me if you can
07:25Hold on
07:26You got this
07:32This is freaking impossible
07:34All I have to do is focus on her horns
07:38And then I'll become a world hero
07:40And the girls will be lining up
07:41Well, Earthling, is that all you got?
07:45You ain't seen nothing yet
07:47I'll get you before day two sun!
07:49And then four days later
07:52There's only five days left
07:54We're down, aren't we?
07:56We've already used up half the time, you know
07:58You haven't even grazed me yet
07:59We've already used up half the time, you know
08:02You haven't even grazed me yet
08:03You haven't even grazed me yet
08:05Crap!
08:06Oh, Adaru
08:07There's only one day left
08:08No luck again today, Moromoshi
08:09You gotta kill me!
08:10You gotta kill me!
08:11You gotta kill me!
08:12You gotta kill me!
08:13Oh, my goodness
08:14He wants a giant machine
08:15Yeah
08:16I can seequiera
08:17You gotta kill me!
08:18Come on
08:19Yeah
08:20You gotta kill me!
08:22You gotta kill me!
08:35You gotta kill me!
08:36You gotta kill me!
08:37I got some times
08:39It's a competition, though
08:41And tomorrow
08:42The Earth will be...
08:43Oh, Ataru.
08:46Well, Earth's gonna be under new ownership soon.
08:51If they actually do invade the Earth, then Ataru will be a social outcast forever.
08:56How am I going to explain this to the neighbors?
08:58Seems your son had the incredible misfortune of being born under a star of suffering.
09:02His streak of bad luck will follow him until the day he croaks.
09:05Any idea what caused it?
09:07Oh my.
09:08Now that I think about it, Ataru was actually born on Friday the 13th.
09:12Isn't that right, dear?
09:14It was also the unluckiest day in the Buddhist calendar.
09:16Oh, that's right!
09:17There was an earthquake after I delivered him too.
09:19And there was a black cat in the room also.
09:22So he's literally bad luck incarnate.
09:25I wish I'd never given birth to him.
09:29I got careless.
09:31Now the weight of the world's on my shoulders.
09:33She may be hot, but she's still the enemy.
09:35They'll seize control of the Earth after tomorrow.
09:38Then I'll live the rest of my life ostracized by everyone.
09:40Ataru, are you going to be okay, man?
09:43You only have yourself to blame.
09:45You accepted the game blindly because you were busy ogling Lum.
09:48Who can beat that freak?
09:50Huh?
09:51Ataru!
09:52Uh-oh.
09:52The stress has sent him off the deep end.
09:54This is bad.
09:55We got to find a way to motivate him.
09:56I mean, I didn't think she could fly.
09:58I thought all I had to do was wrap my arms around that bombshell and call it a day.
10:02Hey, Ataru!
10:03I'll give you my hand in marriage if you win tomorrow.
10:05Marriage?
10:05Yeah, right!
10:07You're lying!
10:07I can tell you're just desperate to find a way out of this mess!
10:10I'm being honest, dummy!
10:12Honestly, I can't bear the thought of you being forced to live shut off from everyone like a hermit!
10:18You promised me you're not lying?
10:21Mm-hmm.
10:24There's an ass kicking it soar!
10:27Women sure have a lot of play.
10:29Especially on a simpleton like him.
10:31The clock is running down on the final day!
10:34What about she is full of more energy than usual?
10:37While invader love is running out of gas!
10:39Marriage!
10:40Marriage!
10:40Here I come!
10:42Why do you keep shouting that at me?
10:44Enough about marriage already!
10:45Cut it out!
10:46Marriage!
10:52I've got you now!
10:53There's no escape!
10:54Huh?
10:57You don't know who you're...
10:59Yes, I won!
11:00Yes, I won!
11:01An electric shock!
11:02Apparently, she can control electricity!
11:05Stay there and enjoy being paralyzed for a while.
11:12Huh?
11:15My marriage!
11:18He's been up!
11:20Huh?
11:21You can still move?
11:22Yeah!
11:23Yeah!
11:23Yeah!
11:24Ha-ha!
11:25I'm not done yet!
11:29Get back here!
11:34I'm getting married!
11:36This way!
11:38Better keep up!
11:39Oh, Adaru...
11:40Shinobu!
11:41We're getting married, baby!
11:44Love!
11:46Huh?
11:48Get your hands off me!
11:50Oh!
11:51Oh!
11:51Oh!
11:51Oh!
11:52Oh!
11:53Oh!
11:53Oh!
11:54Oh!
11:54Oh!
11:55Oh!
11:55Oh!
11:56Oh!
11:56Oh!
11:57Oh!
11:57Oh!
11:58Oh!
11:58Oh!
11:59That really hurt!
12:01Huh?
12:02Look what I got!
12:06You!
12:07Dip that back to me!
12:09Now she'll come to me instead!
12:10I've got this win in the bag!
12:12Get your hands on me!
12:14I foggy!
12:14All right!
12:19I'm getting married!
12:22Oh god!
12:22All right!
12:27I'm getting married!
12:30Amazing!
12:35Mutabushi did it!
12:37He saved the Earth from invading!
12:42Let's give it up for our competitors
12:44who both go to incredible skills!
12:49I'm gonna be a married man!
12:51Alright then.
12:53If you truly insist,
12:55then I'll marry you.
12:58Yay!
13:00Wait, really?
13:05Uh-huh, that's right.
13:06He actually proposed to me, Daddy.
13:09Well, they do say the winner takes it all.
13:12Very well.
13:13You better treat her right, son-in-law.
13:16Well, Azaru?
13:18Shinobu!
13:19Just keep slinging to her, why don't you?
13:21Seems like you're better off having Mum for a wife instead.
13:23You'll be like that, not after what I just said!
13:25I wish you two all the happiest in the world!
13:27It's a misunderstanding, Shinobu!
13:29Is that it, you two-timing jerk?
13:33What a hunk!
13:34Mutabushi's so hot!
13:36Swooning already!
13:37I'm a world-famous hero!
13:40Time to pick up some chicks!
13:45What's the big idea?
13:46Cheating on me is a no-no!
13:49Lum?
13:49I thought you went back to your planet!
13:51No way!
13:52I'm gonna live here!
13:53Hold on!
13:54Seriously?
13:55Well, of course I am, silly!
13:56Married couples live together!
13:58Bow to the pan and into the fire.
14:00I really regret giving birth to him.
14:02My darling, I'm yours!
14:04I am not letting you cheat on me!
14:18Duh!
14:18I can't take this!
14:19You butt in whatever I'm trying to call Shinobu!
14:22Go!
14:23Let me make it crystal clear!
14:26Shinobu is the one I love!
14:27Hmm.
14:32Cry all you want!
14:33I don't care!
14:34Consider this a divorce!
14:36Now get the hell out of here!
14:50Must be a feral cat!
14:52They're in heat this time of year, you know.
14:57Now I should be free from her grasp.
14:59I can date Shinobu all I want.
15:03Huh? So Lum actually left Earth?
15:05Great. Now nobody will get in our way anymore.
15:08Yeah. Let's plan our next date right now.
15:11Just kidding with you.
15:13I'm still right here with him.
15:16She's lying. Lum isn't near me.
15:18And we're going to do some baby-making on Saturday night.
15:22Hey, I'm breaking up with you forever.
15:24Shinobu! You gotta believe me!
15:27Oh, your son really is a card.
15:29Wish he was my kid.
15:30I would happily let you have him.
15:32Stupid Lum!
15:36Don't, darling.
15:37Always flirting with Shinobu when he has a lovely wife like me.
15:41It's time for all-out war.
15:43God, that was so mortifying!
15:45The woman who was visiting is infamous for spreading rovers.
15:49And now I'm going to become a laughingstock with everyone because my son is a helper.
15:52Shut up already!
15:53You're a dumber than a fish flopping on a plane!
15:56What the hell do you mean by that?
15:58Are you saying you'd catch and serve your own son like sushi?
16:01Oh, please.
16:01As head of the household, I have to find a way to settle them down.
16:05We have breaking news.
16:07Around 10 a.m. today, an aircraft spotted hovering over Tomobiki town mysteriously vanished out of thin air.
16:13Look, everyone! There's breaking news!
16:15It happened really close to here!
16:17Why is this exciting to you?
16:18Our son's chronic stupidity is more concerning!
16:20I should have just stayed quiet!
16:22Well, screw it!
16:24I'm not going to let this stop me from calling!
16:31Huh?
16:31Hello? Who's calling?
16:32Hey! It's me!
16:33Hey, darling!
16:34You should really stop playing around with Shinobu's feelings!
16:37Shinobu, wait!
16:38Don't hang up the phone yet!
16:39Just forget about Lum!
16:41Have some faith in me!
16:42I beg you!
16:43My darling said that you are the worst girlfriend ever!
16:46Just so you know!
16:47Don't let her provoke you!
16:48All right.
16:49Huh?
16:50I'll put my faith in you, Ateru.
16:51Thank you, Shinobu.
16:53You don't know how long I've waited for this day.
16:55Um, excuse me!
16:56I'm right here!
16:57Lum's gone, okay?
16:57Oh, yeah!
16:58I can't hear her voice at all, not L-word.
17:01Then have a taste of my jamming signal at max power!
17:08Damn it, Lum.
17:09You are so underhanded.
17:11Huh?
17:12What's that?
17:12Keep it down out there, jerk!
17:15Huh?
17:16Now on to our next story.
17:18Another aircraft has disappeared over the skies of Tomobiki Town.
17:22We have a still from that exact moment.
17:24Please take a close look just over here.
17:27It appears to be the famous Ateru Moroboshi.
17:29He was apparently on the phone with his girlfriend at the time.
17:34But more importantly, we've confirmed that Lum's UFO was transmitting some sort of signal between their houses.
17:40And here's the real kicker.
17:42The triangle between them has formed a black hole.
17:45Okay, so would this stop if they just have to stop calling each other?
17:49All right, fine!
17:49I'll just go see Shinobu in person.
17:51I'll be waiting for you, okay?
17:53Go right ahead!
17:54Just try me!
17:57No!
17:58Now nobody will be able to get out!
18:06This won't get in my way!
18:08I have to see Shinobu at any cost!
18:10Hey, Ateru!
18:11Dear father!
18:12Don't try and stop me!
18:13Take this.
18:15It's a raincoat that I used back when I was a kid.
18:17Wear it, son.
18:19It's made of rubber, so it won't conduct any lightning.
18:22Thank you!
18:23Put your minds at ease, fellas.
18:28Siri!
18:29I shall accompany the young boy.
18:30I offer to watch over his final moments.
18:34We're going now!
18:36Shinobu!
18:37Praise be Buddha!
18:37Praise be Buddha!
18:38Ateru!
18:39Rest assured, son.
18:40I'll give you the best damn funeral!
18:44Praise be Buddha!
18:45Stop following me!
18:47Stop following me!
18:47A pitiful head for a pitiful boy.
18:56May you find peace in the afterlife.
18:58I'm alive!
19:03I...
19:04I won't die till I see her!
19:06Shinobu!
19:06Ateru!
19:09Shinobu!
19:09No!
19:10Not on my watch, you won't!
19:21Ateru, where are you?
19:24Shinobu!
19:26Shinobu!
19:29Ateru!
19:30I'm over here!
19:32I'm on my way!
19:33I'm on my way!
19:33I'm on my way!
19:34I'm on my way!
19:35I'm on my way!
19:36I'm on my way!
19:37I'm on my way!
19:38I'm on my way!
19:39Shinobu, you've traveled here for me?
19:42You braved your way through all that lightning?
19:44I did it all for you.
19:45Nothing can stand in the way of a true love.
19:48Shinobu!
19:49What to do?
19:51We're going out in a blaze of glory!
19:53It's time to bury this love triangle once and for all!
19:57Run!
19:57Run!
19:57Run!
19:57Run!
19:57Run!
19:57Run!
19:58Run!
19:58Run!
19:58Run!
19:58Run!
19:58Run!
19:59Run!
19:59Run!
20:00Run!
20:00Run!
20:00Run!
20:01Run!
20:02Run!
20:02Run!
20:03Run!
20:04Run!
20:05Run!
20:06Run!
20:07Run!
20:08Run!
20:09Run!
20:10Run!
20:11Hey!
20:12You okay?
20:13Where are you?
20:14I'll come find you!
20:15I'm glad you're safe!
20:16Huh?
20:17I'm so happy to see you!
20:18I just knew in my heart that you'd be worried about me, my sweet darling!
20:31Unbelievable.
20:34No, wait, this is a...
20:36You were both trying to make a fool out of me this whole time!
20:39Wait, let me explain this!
20:41Denhovo!
20:49You owe us the price of two helicopters.
20:51I'm on the city council. You owe us for reconstruction.
20:54We promised to make our son pay you all back, no matter what.
20:56You better, but how long will it take?
20:58Well, uh...
20:59It's just a misunderstanding!
21:01Come on, get out of me now!
21:04Now take your punishment!
21:10Why did this happen to me?
21:12Because it's fate, of course.
21:29You can't forget it.
21:31Did you miss anything?
21:32That's just a lie.
21:34What was it?
21:35I'm not sure about you.
21:36I don't know.
21:38I don't know what it is.
21:40I don't want to talk to you anymore.
22:41Next time on Kurusei Yatsura.
22:47Hey, sexy, what's your number?
22:49Got an address?
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