- 20 minutes ago
Dinosaur Season 1 Episode 1 - FULL
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01This isn't about us. This is about justice.
00:04This is about fairness. This is about the struggle of the common man.
00:08In an easy-come, easy-go world where people are fickle and faithless,
00:12my unwavering loyalty to you should be recognised.
00:15Nay, it should be celebrated.
00:22Fine.
00:24Technically, your free 11th coffee is meant to be a hot product.
00:29Show me the fine print.
00:31It's tacitly understood.
00:33Not by me.
00:35Oh, my God. This is my sister.
00:37I don't care.
00:41Thank you, Brian. I'll see you tomorrow.
00:51Evie, what are you doing here?
00:53Well, I'm not back at work until tomorrow,
00:55and I need a day to come back down to Earth after my city break.
00:58I thought, why not try and catch my big sis on her coffee break for a little chit-chat?
01:01Can't we chit-chat after work in the empty hours?
01:04What's on today's agenda, then?
01:05I have a meeting in 45 minutes about a fossilised shark poo,
01:10and then I have to catch up with my colleagues out leaving perishables in the fridge.
01:13Wow. Unreal.
01:14The sleigh never stops.
01:16So, do you have time for a quick wander before your meeting?
01:18We can take in the relics of a lost town.
01:20Evie, you said that the museum smells like old man feet.
01:22And knowledge, baby.
01:24What has London done to you?
01:26Actually, London was incredible.
01:28I mean, if you don't mind being less than six foot away from a rat at a banker at any given time.
01:33I don't know what's worse.
01:35Banker.
01:36Jinx!
01:37Oh, this place is amazing.
01:57You've been here multiple times since we were children.
02:00Never gets old.
02:02So, something happened in London that I need to talk to you about.
02:06Something happened in Glasgow.
02:08I had to watch the real housewife's reunion without you,
02:10so there was nobody there to hear my amazing quips.
02:12How many of you watched it without me?
02:14You were gone all weekend.
02:15Boo hoo.
02:16We can watch it again tonight with my commentary.
02:18Deal. Deal.
02:20Evie, why are you actually here? You're being weird.
02:25What's wrong with this spontaneous visit from your loving wee sister?
02:28Hmm.
02:29Last time you showed up here out of the blue,
02:31it's because you burnt your moustache off with eat and it'd gone all red and crusty.
02:34At least I tried to deal with my moustache.
02:36I deal with my moustache.
02:37Three months ago I tried backcombing it and I looked very distinguished.
02:40Hmm.
02:46Right, Nina.
02:47Hmm?
02:48There's something I have to tell you.
02:52Why aren't you saying anything?
02:54I'm doing a dramatic pause.
02:59How long do dramatic pauses last?
03:00I'm engaged.
03:02To who?
03:05Rinesh.
03:06Who?
03:07My partner.
03:09We've just been on a dramatic weekend together.
03:12The tech talk advertising man with the concave arse?
03:15He's a creative strategist and it's only concave in pictures.
03:18He took me up the shard, Nina.
03:22It was all disgustingly romantic.
03:29Okay, this is where you say,
03:30that's amazing news!
03:31I'm so happy for you!
03:32It's not amazing news and I'm not happy for you, Evie.
03:34I'm deeply concerned.
03:35You've only known this man for six weeks.
03:37That's not enough time.
03:38Says who?
03:39Evie, you've had thrush that lasted longer than six weeks!
03:47It wasn't thrush.
03:48I was just itchy.
03:49We went through so much natural yoghurt, Evie.
04:03What about Rinesh making a casual appearance at Tuesday night dinner tomorrow?
04:08All just really casual.
04:10Takeaway Tuesday is sacred, Evie.
04:12You said you would never get married.
04:16Did I?
04:18Hmm.
04:19It's really just an excuse for a big fat party?
04:20Yeah, except it's not just a big party.
04:22It's the morning after the party and it's the morning after that
04:24and then the morning after that.
04:25How can you spend the rest of your life with somebody you've only known for six weeks?
04:29I know this all seems crazy to you, right?
04:31But when you are wildly in love with someone,
04:33you just start to realise that nothing anyone else thinks matters.
04:37We're just like walking on this knife edge
04:39and we just have to keep going because if we don't, we'll fall.
04:42Evie, that sounds horrendous and painful.
04:45I've never felt this way, Nina.
04:48He's my person.
04:51But Mum and Dad are not going to be happy about this.
04:55We're so happy about this.
04:57Now, we know that it's soon, but we're thinking summer wedding.
05:01Lovely.
05:02That's it?
05:03What?
05:04She's marrying some man that none of us have ever met
05:06and that's all you're going to say.
05:08Dad, what if he chokes women at the weekend?
05:11Does he choke women on the weekend?
05:12No.
05:13He's in a feminist book group.
05:14Well, there you are.
05:16We'd only known each other six months when we got married.
05:18Yes, but that was in 1986 when everybody was stupid
05:21and you thought that the feathered mullet was an alright hairstyle for men.
05:24Oh, I loved my feathered mullet.
05:26Oh, and he's never looked so good.
05:28He looked like Princess Diana.
05:31How long did Romeo and Juliet know each other before they get married?
05:3424 hours?
05:35They were pretend and then they killed themselves.
05:39Our son-in-law, a creative strategist.
05:42What does that mean?
05:44Well, it means that finally this family has got something to celebrate.
05:49Mother, I have three degrees.
05:52I am a research assistant in the paleontology department.
05:55Do you know how many positions there are for paleontologists in Glasgow?
05:59They're seven.
06:00They're seven and I am one of them.
06:02Darling, I didn't mean that you...
06:03You're a force in nature, Nina.
06:04You're an inspiration.
06:05The dinosaurs are lucky to have you.
06:07Anyway, let's talk venue.
06:08And what will you wear?
06:09We just want to keep things super simple,
06:11so I'm thinking I'll wear something like a second-hand pantsuit,
06:15because the wedding industrial complex is predatory capitalism, you know?
06:18Aww.
06:20If this is about money, sweet pea,
06:23your dad and me,
06:24we've got a wee bit of money set aside for the conservatory, so...
06:27What?
06:29Guys, that is amazing news,
06:31because I have had my eye on the most beautiful designer's simple pantsuit.
06:39And what about my wedding fund?
06:41You don't do relationships, Nina?
06:45You're independent, like Cher.
06:47Fine, then.
06:48I would like a party of equal value
06:51to celebrate all of my many great accomplishments.
06:54Oh!
06:56You're the sensible one.
06:57You don't just plunge into any crazy old scheme.
07:02You think this wedding's crazy?
07:04Yes!
07:05No!
07:06What'd I miss?
07:07Evie's going to bankrupt Mum and Dad.
07:09What else is new?
07:10We know you'll miss your sister, Nina.
07:13But things won't be all that different.
07:18It's just everyone's acting like getting engaged is some sort of big achievement.
07:21You know that Rose West was married and she was a murderer?
07:24Why am I the only person who thinks this is a terrible, terrible idea?
07:29Because you've eaten wheat puffs for breakfast every single day of your life.
07:31And?
07:32You're the most risk-averse person on the planet.
07:35If I know I like wheat puffs, why would I try other breakfast foods?
07:38Why are you so surprised about this? This is classic Evie.
07:41Everything she's ever done has suggested that this will one day happen.
07:45What, did you think? You were just going to become two old ladies in that flat together?
07:48I just don't see what the big rush is.
07:55Love makes people stupid.
07:58Oh, fuck!
08:00I forgot to charge Hilda's crystals.
08:02Urgh!
08:05Well, if your girlfriend is so bad, why don't you just get a better one?
08:10Mmm, much to think about, Nina, thank you.
08:12You're welcome.
08:14Look, the point is, Larch, things are going to change, so how are you going to ever accept Evie's crazy, stupid love if you won't even try Cheerios?
08:20I don't eat foods with holes, so the point is met.
08:24Some kind of chest pain
08:36Slipped into my drink last night
08:39Don't let me see you put feathers on that dinosaur, mate.
08:42I know, I know, the evidence is undeniable.
08:44Dinosaurs had feathers, but the people, they like scales.
08:48They don't like feathers.
08:50Diners are scary.
08:51Okay, and feathers, they're...
08:53They're cute.
08:54They're Paw Patrol.
08:55They're Elton John.
08:56Yeah?
08:57Basically, feathers aren't scary.
08:58Did you catch my drift?
09:00That's my guy.
09:07Nina.
09:13Nina.
09:15Nina.
09:17While I've got you, can I grab a type five?
09:19Yep.
09:23Once again, Nina, we've had a few comments.
09:27Nice comments.
09:29So this is just a gentle reminder that we avoid telling children that it should be Cretaceous Park, not Jurassic.
09:35The people have this image of scientists as these shy nerds in glasses and white coats, but we're so much more than that, right?
09:43So when you insist that a T-Rex could crunch Granny's spine like a mid-morning cracker, it fits with this totally wrong narrative of scientists as anti-social, rigid and a bit autistic.
09:55But I am.
09:56Yeah, but I'm saying we're not that.
09:57Oh no, I'm saying I am that.
09:59No, I mean...
10:04You're autistic.
10:06Yes, of course.
10:07Mm-hmm.
10:09I'm pretty sure Declan is too.
10:11Um, um, you gonna come team bowling tonight, Nina?
10:23No.
10:24No.
10:25Nina's got her routine.
10:26I mean she has dinner with her sister on Tuesday.
10:28It's takeaway Tuesday at her flat.
10:30And I don't go bowling because it's full of sweaty people making noise.
10:34And I don't share shoes with strangers and I don't put my fingers in bowling ball holes.
10:38It's full of fungus, Shane.
10:39It's disgusting.
10:41Right.
10:42Well, uh, you know, not everyone lives in the far stone like us.
10:45Eh, Declan?
10:46You're not the coffee man.
10:47Eh, I think I am.
10:48Am I not?
10:50Oh, you're talking about Brian.
10:51Yeah, he left.
10:53I...
10:54Yeah.
10:55Uh, I think I am.
10:59I'm a not?
11:02Oh, you're, you're, um...
11:05You're talking about Brian?
11:06Yeah, he left.
11:07Oh, yeah, it's big.
11:08Yeah.
11:10Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:11Yeah, yeah.
11:12I'm so close.
11:13I am.
11:14Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:15Yeah.
11:16Yeah.
11:17You're talking about Brian.
11:18Yeah, he left.
11:19There's a new coffee sheriff in town.
11:25Me.
11:28Can I get a filter coffee, please?
11:30Oh, do you know what would go really well with this?
11:33Our new breakfast biscotti.
11:37Start your day with a crunch.
11:40I can't eat double-baked biscuits.
11:41I've got delicate gums.
11:44Very wise.
11:45I mean, I like to live on the edge, you know.
11:48But not everyone is into that kind of lifestyle.
11:51No, it's not a lifestyle for people with vertigo.
11:54That's a good point.
11:56How's your day going?
11:58My sister's marrying some concave-arse Tinder guy.
12:01She's only known for six weeks.
12:02And my parents think it's a brilliant idea
12:04because they lack critical thinking skills.
12:05And I've lost my favourite pen.
12:08Six weeks?
12:11That's mental.
12:12What if they...
12:13chokes women at the weekend?
12:16That's what I said.
12:18What's this concave-arse lad like, then?
12:21I don't know.
12:22You've never met him?
12:24No.
12:25But you know you don't like him?
12:26Yes.
12:26Right.
12:29This might be out of line, but...
12:32And I'm sure he's the worst man in the world.
12:36Don't get me wrong, but...
12:38I like to give people a chance.
12:42But hey, I'm just the guy that makes the coffee, so...
12:50Could you make mine, please?
12:58Yes.
12:58Yep.
12:59Thanks.
13:08Thanks.
13:08Thank you, Sheriff.
13:10Oh, that's...
13:10That's...
13:11That's good.
13:12I'm sorry.
13:34Here it comes.
13:48Ah, how's that?
13:50Oh my gosh.
13:51Yeah?
13:52Delicious.
13:53That's delicious.
13:55Shura, as you know.
13:58Oh, please.
14:00It's just a rustic peasant dish that I picked up during my summer in Firenze.
14:04I love pasta with tomato sauce.
14:13It's a great combination.
14:16Same-sies.
14:18Oh, I'm just going to check on something in the other room.
14:30So.
14:33Here we are.
14:35Oh, Evie mentioned that you've got autism, which is obviously super cool.
14:40Don't say it.
14:40Autism is a superpower.
14:43A guy from uni had a bit of it, and he was on countdown.
14:47Did he win?
14:48He died shortly after, but he did win a conundrum.
14:54Neens.
14:54Neenah.
14:54I'd hate for there to be a chasm between us.
14:58The bond between two sisters.
15:00Well, it's a holy thing, isn't it?
15:02And as a man, I couldn't even begin to understand it.
15:05And then here's me just coming in here, ripping your best friend away from you.
15:09But nothing is going to change.
15:11Yeah, I know that.
15:12Not talking about me, are we?
15:13So.
15:14How did this transpire?
15:26Hmm.
15:26I'm glad you asked.
15:27Cool.
15:28Finding love in a Tinder age is a miracle, Neenah.
15:31When all these girls describe themselves as artsy and cultured on their profiles, then
15:35all they want to talk about is reality TV.
15:38Hmm.
15:39Evie's often remarked on the mindlessness of reality television, haven't you, Evie?
15:42Evie has taught me so much about the importance of female stories.
15:46Yeah, it's good when women talk in films.
15:48Our connection on that first date was instant.
15:50We went to see a feminist poetry slam at the bandstand.
15:53Fun.
15:54And we stayed so late and danced all night.
15:57Everybody looked at us, didn't they?
15:58Well, we don't even care.
15:59We didn't even care.
16:00No, I bet you don't.
16:01And then when she turned up to London in just a torn pair of jeans with no makeup bag,
16:05I thought to myself, yeah, there she is.
16:08My person.
16:10Together we can move and shake the world.
16:14It is crazy quick, Neens.
16:16You're not wrong about that.
16:17But if you don't take any risks.
16:20How do you know you're even alive?
16:22Because you're breathing.
16:27Nope.
16:28What are you doing?
16:29I'm going to take a risk.
16:30You're leaving.
16:32Yes, sis.
16:32We love to see it.
16:33No.
16:36You can't just go, Nina.
16:38You're literally eating the food of Ferenzi.
16:40We're supposed to be eating the food of Takeaway Tuesday.
16:43No, no, Evie.
16:43No, no.
16:44She is embracing her new self.
16:46Entering her new era.
16:47She's self-actualising.
16:49We should let her go.
16:49Where are you even going?
16:50I'm going to go bowling with my work colleagues like a normal person and nobody can stop me.
16:53No, you're not.
16:54You hate putting your fingers in the holes.
16:55Yes, well, Evie, sometimes we have to stick our fingers in holes we don't like.
17:00Nina, you'll have to wear the bowling shoes.
17:03They'll make you.
17:05I don't care.
17:06It's time I did my own thing.
17:08Okay.
17:09Well, obviously I'll support you.
17:10Because women should always support other women.
17:12No matter what.
17:13Yes.
17:14Peace out.
17:19Well, she has completely lost it.
17:22I just want to say how honoured I am to be included in such a vulnerable conversation between two sisters.
17:30Come on, I'll show you.
17:32It's three spins, just like the Italians do it.
17:36There you go.
17:37Perfection.
17:40I'm going to wear my own shoes.
17:49But...
18:10Oh, Nina, over here.
18:13Nina, we're here.
18:14You've finally come along.
18:17Get stuck in.
18:18Excuse me, Shane.
18:20As per our booking form, all players have to wear bowling shoes.
18:24I don't wear bowling shoes.
18:25Yeah, if Nina doesn't want to wear bowling shoes, Roxanne, that's like, you know, totally okay with all of us.
18:30I looked it up, and in every other bowling alley in the world, a flat-soled shoe will suffice.
18:35It might be a different story in other bowling alleys.
18:37We here, at Bowling For You, when we bowl.
18:39Well, help me, God, weave our bowling shoes.
18:42I'm sorry, Nina, Roxanne's right.
18:44I mean, I'd let you, but it's these presky rules.
18:46I'm going to fight zombies.
18:58Did you know they actually use these games to scout for government assassins?
19:02Jesus, Declan, announce yourself.
19:05Gun up.
19:07I thought you had takeaways with your sister on Tuesdays.
19:10Yeah, that's what I thought, and then I had to meet Ranesh, and I didn't want to meet Ranesh, because I thought he was going to be annoying, and then I met Ranesh, and it turns out he is annoying, and he's ruined Tuesday night takeaway with his pasta from Firenze, and everything's changed because Evie wants to walk on a knife edge.
19:25And since I've been forced against my will to find a new activity for a Tuesday night, I decided to come bowling, where I'm being told I have to wear shoes full of disease.
19:34Bowling shoes are full of disease. You're right about that.
19:37Do you agree that bowling shoes are disgusting? Why do you come here?
19:41Gemma wants me to put myself forward more at work.
19:44Who's Gemma?
19:45Gemma, my wife of 23 years.
19:48Oh.
19:50I like bowling. I'm good at it. It's my flexible elbows.
19:54Evie said I wouldn't be able to bowl, and she's right.
19:58People like to put things in boxes.
20:01Good shame.
20:01Can't even accept that dinosaurs had feathers, because he doesn't remember it from Jurassic Park.
20:07But look at you.
20:09Nobody thought you'd ever come to team building bowling.
20:11Here you are.
20:13You're a dinosaur with feathers.
20:15The people we love won't ever understand how hard it can be to do these things, but we do them anyway.
20:28Them.
20:30And, after years of experimentation, come up with a neat trick.
20:36The old double sock.
20:38Declan, it is a travesty that you're a genius is yet to be recognised.
20:42Don't let them put you in a box.
20:49I'll try.
20:51And I'll bowl.
20:54But I am going to wear my own shoes.
20:59Final round.
21:04You high score!
21:06Coloured balls. So are they all that colour?
21:09It's green on the back, you know, and straight down the middle.
21:11Shane, what is she doing?
21:16Where are her shoes?
21:17I am self-actualising.
21:19I am self-actualising?
21:29Hooray!
21:31Yay!
21:32Ha-ha!
21:34Yay!
21:36Look at the strike.
21:37Amazing.
21:37We love them.
21:43Happy New Year.
21:44Sheesh.
22:05Hi.
22:06I left you some pasta.
22:13How was your night?
22:14Yeah.
22:15It was good.
22:17I killed a bunch of zombies and then I got a strike
22:21and I talked to my colleagues about how tired they are all the time.
22:25Sounds like a mad one.
22:29Oh, my God!
22:31Evie, this is so good!
22:34I know, right?
22:35It makes good pasta.
22:37Yeah.
22:42I'm really sorry about earlier dinner and everything.
22:45I think it was probably a bit too much too soon.
22:53As much as I think it's unhinged and that Mum and Dad have lost their absolute minds,
23:00if you want me to get on board with your wedding, then I'll do it.
23:06I'll do it for you, Evie.
23:09I'd really like that.
23:11Okay.
23:13And...
23:15I'll make an effort with Ranesh.
23:18Even though he is arguably the most irritating man alive.
23:22Nina.
23:24You remembered his name.
23:26Ranesh.
23:27You're back from conquering your Everest.
23:29Hello.
23:30Hi.
23:31Your pasta slaps.
23:33Great.
23:35Did you ask her yet?
23:36Oh, yeah.
23:41Okay, Nina.
23:42There's something that I wanted to talk to you about.
23:45Okay.
23:47As you know, I love Mad Amber and Lulu and Luella and Lara.
23:50They're like the best girls ever and I'd literally die for them.
23:53But they've only known me for a wee bit of time.
23:55And there's someone else.
23:57Someone who's pretty spectacular.
24:00Who's known me for my whole life.
24:08Who?
24:09You, your empty.
24:11So, Nina.
24:12Nina.
24:15Will you be my maid of honour?
24:20Yeah!
24:21Yeah? You'll do it?
24:22Yeah!
24:23Yes.
24:24She said yes.
24:25I heard yes. She said yes.
24:26That was a yes.
24:27She's in it.
24:28Nina!
24:29Oh, my God!
24:31Oh, my God!
24:32Yes!
24:33You can do bowling if you like that now.
24:34Yes?
24:35Dress fittings.
24:36Cake.
24:37Flowers.
24:38We're gonna do make-up files.
24:39Loads of flowers, of course.
24:40You should get your bangs back.
24:41Twins!
24:42Fidget spinners for the table.
24:43We want to be a fully inclusive wedding.
24:45It's gonna be so much fun.
24:46So much fun.
24:47The bestest fun.
24:48The bestest much fun ever.
24:50Best sister ever.
24:51I went for school after dark.
24:52I thought of hearing her while staring at the flag.
24:53I didn't have no time for a penis early last.
24:57The girl will ride.
24:58I didn't have no time for a penis early last.
24:59The girl will ride.
25:00I didn't have no time for a penis early last.
25:01The girl will ride.
25:02I thought of لي as good.
25:03I thought of buying the fraud.
25:04I didn't have no time for a penis early last.
25:05I didn't have no time for a penis early last.
25:09The girl will ride.
25:14No!
25:15The bargoames.
25:20You
25:27
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