- 4 months ago
Davey & Jonesie's Locker Season 1 Episode 10- There's No Place Like Homeostasis - FULL
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Short filmTranscript
00:00I wouldn't even worry about Carl taking so long.
00:13I'm sure it has nothing to do with the deliberation of your case.
00:17He probably has a bathroom problem.
00:20If his stomach's anything like mine is, he definitely does.
00:25Oh boy.
00:27Yeah, I have a gluten issue.
00:34Hey, um, you're not mad at me for reporting you, right?
00:41Because I would hate that.
00:43I really was just worried about you.
00:45You know, as a friend.
00:51Sorry for the hold up, folks.
00:53I had a severe bathroom problem.
00:56So, after extensively reviewing your file and going over the evidence that you submitted, management has decided to remove you from case 6689 effective immediately.
01:09Andy, that case goes to you.
01:11Oh, wow. I mean, yeah, if I could be of help, I'd...
01:15What? Are you serious?
01:18What about Schneider's involvement?
01:20In the meantime, I have recommended that you undergo a full psych eval, followed by a mandatory leave of absence.
01:27After which, you are welcome to reapply for the elite squad.
01:31After you have closed another 100,000 cases for the juvenile department.
01:36And that's, like, normally without freaking out and screwing it all up for everybody again.
01:41I thought it went really well.
01:57I thought so too.
01:58So, we're ready to go back to our boring regular school and the epic mess we left behind.
02:09Let's assuming we don't immediately get separated first.
02:12Maybe they'll see how wise and worldly we've become and forgive us immediately for ruining the dance.
02:21Maybe.
02:25Hypothetically, if there was...
02:27Ow!
02:28Yeah.
02:29All right.
02:30Now, all three of us should be able to go through the portal together.
02:35Now, a reminder, 6689 has been in stasis for a dangerously long time, so its structural integrity is quite fragile.
02:41Unfreezing it could cause any number of anomalies, which would lead Mom directly to us.
02:45All right.
02:46How about we just take our time?
02:49That's a great idea.
02:50You know, maybe we just chill here for a while, right?
02:52Cracking wise, eating fish, and not each other.
02:56Okay, what aren't you telling me?
03:04Yeah, let's go.
03:05Hey!
03:06Hey, you!
03:07You haven't even told us the story of how you ended up here on Bone Zone Island.
03:11It's gotta be a wild story with tons of twists and turns in length!
03:18You went through the locker and everything froze, except for me because I'm not technically of that world.
03:22I went to the lab to try and retrieve my holopen and contact the other Schneiders, but a dad showed up.
03:26I was almost captured, but I managed in the nick of time to rewire the device and beam myself out using an old Mom tech trick.
03:31I picked this universe to hide out in because I knew from the holo chatter that everyone here was already dead.
03:40After I'd taken a moment to mourn the loss of my portal, years of work, and any hope of re-syncing, I got to work.
03:46I rewired my device so that when you finally showed up, I'd be able to send us all back home through the locker, which is the only way to override the stasis protocol and restart 6689 manually without alerting Mom.
03:53And then that, what's that? Yes! Yes!
03:59Then all I had to do was reverse engineer the DNA coding of the locker, put up a beacon, and hope you would eventually show up, which you did. Following?
04:05Never. Never followed a word you said.
04:06It kinda just sounds like you're making up science.
04:08It doesn't matter. It's now time for me, Steven Simon Schneider, to go through my form.
04:14Hey, you know, that dad that you mentioned back in 6689, who was that?
04:18I don't know. They were wearing tactical gear.
04:21Just like a black helmet, terrifying walking style?
04:25Yes.
04:26Cheryl.
04:30Cheryl Mason?
04:31Yeah, she's kind of obsessed with this. From hate.
04:34What about me? Does she know the other Schneiders are involved in your whole whatever?
04:38Yes.
04:39Okay. Okay. We have to go now. We have to go now.
04:42Wait, aren't you gonna tell us about the two of you?
04:46Pass. Let's just go home, shall we?
04:49Sssh.
04:50Ssshh.
04:51Ssshh.
04:52Ssshh.
05:01Sshh.
05:04I sit and watch a flicker...
05:07Seal door. Override code MASON 9716.
05:11Cry! Cry! Cry!
05:18I'm smiling through my teeth and I laugh and may judge.
05:22I wonder why this isn't a...
05:25Cry! Cry! Cry! Cry!
05:34Cry!
05:43Cry!
05:45I sit and watch a flicker and scream...
05:48...and I lie through my eyes.
05:52Cry!
05:54It's beautiful.
05:56Move it, newbie. Don't puke.
05:59I think I know how to go through my own portal, thank you.
06:03No more games, Davy and Jonesy.
06:17I sit and watch a flicker and scream...
06:21...and red lights fill my eyes.
06:24Oh, shit.
06:26Yup!
06:27First time I'll do that to you.
06:29Then you get used to it.
06:31All faithful.
06:33Did all the other Schneiders find you this annoying?
06:35No, they loved us.
06:36Everybody does.
06:38What was that thing that we optimistically said about everyone not being as mad as we remember?
06:45Good lord. Does this look normal to you?
06:56Because I am performing a manual override here.
07:01Every detail needs to be exactly as it was the night of the dance, the very moment before you went through.
07:06Even the smallest change, your clothes, your hair, it can make all the difference.
07:10The mascot heads.
07:12Yup.
07:15Where are they?
07:17Did we bring them into the portal with us?
07:19Because they're not in our locker.
07:20Who cares?
07:21I mean, he's here, we're here, and the conditions are the same.
07:24So, plus, this way we can unfreeze our world without facing any of the horrendous consequences of our action.
07:31Okay, I know it sounds morally dubious and wrong when I say it, but I actually think that if I said it in a higher tone it would actually sound-
07:37Dude, I'm already on board.
07:38Okay, we're ready!
07:40What were you two whispering about?
07:42Teen time!
07:43Um, just changing bodies of young people, and how we want to unfreeze our friends and hang out with them.
07:48Okay, shall we? Let's go. Come on.
07:51You ready?
07:52Mm-hmm.
07:59Let's do this.
08:01You ruined the dance!
08:02You ruined my suit!
08:03This is the last straw girls!
08:04That mascot head stunt was beyond the pale!
08:05Oh, I'm so sorry.
08:06What mascot heads?
08:07Clearly the ones you just put in that locker.
08:08Diptional mascot heads.
08:09We could, I mean, look for yourself.
08:10Hello?
08:11Hello?
08:12Hello?
08:13Hello?
08:14Hello?
08:15Hello?
08:16Hello?
08:17Hello?
08:18Hello?
08:19Hello?
08:20Hello?
08:21Hello?
08:22Hello?
08:23Hello?
08:24Hello?
08:25Hello?
08:26Hello?
08:27Hello?
08:28Hello?
08:29Hello?
08:30Hello?
08:31Hello?
08:32Hello?
08:33Who's that?
08:47Oh, stop me! Why am I born?
08:53What is happening?
08:55Come back here, punk!
08:58I don't know! I don't know children! I don't know!
09:03Who's that?!
09:05Wait, who's that?
09:10Warm up!
09:11Akan, um?
09:13Anomaly detected!
09:15Anomaly detected!
09:17Okay, Cheryl, you're not beating yourself right now!
09:21Open the door!
09:24a double Ferrari
09:37What is going on?
09:38I don't know but I think what's happening is that elements of other universes are bleeding into this one
09:44Hello girls
09:45Ah!
09:51Recognize this detainer, Steven?
09:54Quite the powerful modification, isn't it?
09:57Don't worry, girls. I'm not going to send you to detention.
10:01I've got somewhere much more permanent in mind.
10:07Careful with that thing, Cheryl. You know it hasn't been properly tested.
10:10That didn't seem to bother you the last time.
10:15No!
10:31But you once said that the matter in each universe is finite.
10:34That's why the other Davian Joneses disappear once we show up.
10:37Yeah, I also said that the structural integrity of this world is compromised
10:40due to prolonged stasis, which is why you try to unfreeze it
10:43with matter missing, like, say, two large mascot heads you failed to mention.
10:46It totally disrupts the basic physics, and it allows anomalies to bleed through.
10:50Does it ever feel like the science rules are just, like, constantly shifting for convenience?
10:54Ah, there's too much multiversal interference to contact the other Schneiders.
10:58Hmm.
10:59Are you absolutely sure you have no idea what happened to the heads when you first went through?
11:02Oh, I'm sorry. We were just too busy getting sucked into the portal that you put in our locker.
11:07God, I should have known your unformed teenage brains would be far too worried about the irrelevant consequences of your petty little lives
11:14rather than the actual consequences of an interdimensional incident.
11:17Okay.
11:18Okay, yeah, well, those consequences are not irrelevant to us because, unlike you, we actually have friends that we care about.
11:25Oh, really? The same friends that you humiliated at the dance then lied to about it putting their whole universe in jeopardy?
11:31Well, you are one to talk about putting people, places, and things in jeopardy in order to avoid facing personal consequences.
11:40Yeah, like, what is that weird detainer thing that Cheryl's using to zap things out of existence, Stephen?
11:45Uh, it's not technically out of existence. It's just an experimental dimension beyond unknown space-time from which no one has ever returned.
11:52Dude, what?!
11:53Okay, fine. You want to know about Cheryl and me?
11:56Yeah, we ask you every time we see you.
11:58We were not just colleagues at Mom.
12:01Okay.
12:03We were friends. Best friends, actually.
12:08That's the big reveal?!
12:10Oh, my God, why would you...
12:11We've been waiting all season for this! Why would you sit on that?
12:13Oh, my God. I honestly... I wish I didn't know.
12:15Me either.
12:16Okay. We met at the Academy. And neither of us were really fitting in, no?
12:21Because of your terrible personalities?
12:23Yes. But then, when we met each other, it was just like...
12:27It was like it was you two against the world and you could do anything as long as you did it together.
12:34We wanted to shake things up, you know?
12:36That detainer Cheryl had?
12:38I built that. It's part of my research into Dimension X.
12:48It would have changed everything, but Mom was too short-sighted to see it.
12:53And so was Cheryl in the end.
12:57Cheryl? Cheryl?
12:59No!
13:00She sold me out.
13:02No!
13:03Turned me in.
13:04You can't do this!
13:05And that's why I was desynced.
13:06Don't do this! Cheryl! How could you do this to me?!
13:11And that is the whole, uh, that's the whole story?
13:15Yeah, there's no way that that was the whole story.
13:17Alright.
13:18I have temporarily reversed the polarity of the portal, okay?
13:20So when you press this button, it will suck out all the anomalies like an airplane door.
13:24But it'll only last for a few seconds, so you have to herd everything to the locker first, okay?
13:28And in the meantime, I'll deal with Cheryl.
13:31Okay.
13:32How are you supposed to do this ourselves?
13:38Hey.
13:39I thought you were the ones with friends.
13:59Look, it's me you want. Just let them go.
14:02I do kind of want them.
14:03Yeah, that's fair.
14:04Run!
14:08Go, go, go, go, go!
14:09Go, go, go, go, go, go!
14:11Go find your friends and round up the anomalies!
14:12You gotta find everyone!
14:21Override code 9214!
14:23Anomaly detected.
14:24Anomaly detected.
14:25Anomaly detected.
14:26Anomaly detected.
14:27Anomaly detected.
14:28Anomaly detected.
14:296689?
14:30That should still be in stasis.
14:31Where was I?
14:34Right.
14:35The portal, anomalies, narrow escapes, a million different universes, blah-de-da-de-da.
14:40And that's what brings us to today.
14:43Make sense?
14:44I knew it was you two and those mascot heads.
14:48You are so dead.
14:50So dead.
14:51Wow.
14:52You're really focusing on the wrong part of the story here, okay?
14:54But yeah, if that helps, it was us.
14:56That was, um, it was our band.
14:59So, yes.
15:00Look, we really screwed up.
15:01We shouldn't have ruined the dance and we shouldn't have called you all sheep.
15:10Wait, that's what your weird performance was about?
15:12Yeah, like why were you dressed like a chicken and a horse?
15:14Yeah, even I thought that was weird.
15:16Okay, you clearly didn't get it.
15:18The point is you are not sheep.
15:20You are our friends and we're really sorry, okay?
15:24And we really need your help.
15:26Okay, but how are we supposed to hurt a bunch of anomalies or whatever they're called to your locker?
15:33That's the thing is that we learned so much about you guys through the multiverse.
15:37Yeah.
15:38You guys are badass.
15:39Yeah.
15:40Like, Emile, we met a version of you that was the general of an army.
15:43Of sociopathic lobsters, but it was still cool.
15:46And, like, Joyce, you were this, like, rebel leader.
15:50And even Ciara, you were a grizzled fighter and it was sick.
15:54And Alexis, you were consistently cool in every single universe.
15:59And Abbott, you were, you were strong physically in a bunch of different ways that were often the same in pretty much just one note.
16:09Yes.
16:11What about me?
16:14Mark, you were there too!
16:24And you guys, every time we worked together, we nailed it.
16:27Mostly.
16:29So, what do you say?
16:30Will you help us hurt all the anomalies back into our locker?
16:39You know what?
16:43I'm into the weird.
16:44It's very on brand.
16:45Count me in.
16:46I am also in too.
16:49Let's do it.
16:50I'm in too.
16:51Welcome along for the ride.
16:53Looks like my schedule's clear.
16:54So, what's the plan?
16:55I don't know.
16:56What's the plan?
16:57I don't know.
16:58Right?
16:59What are we thinking?
17:00What are we at?
17:01A scheme.
17:02There's no plan?
17:03Oh, my God.
17:04You're kidding me.
17:05Well, we're obviously not the planning types.
17:06Yeah, I mean, that's why we needed someone to rely on who is really good at planning.
17:20Okay.
17:21We'll move to the school and tease.
17:22Abbott, Mark, you take the east corridor.
17:23Alexis and I will sweep the southern hallways.
17:24And Emile and Joyce, you take the westway.
17:25All in on three.
17:26One.
17:27Two.
17:28Yeah.
17:29And you know what?
17:30It looks like we've started.
17:31So, let's get a move on, people.
17:32Got some anomalies again.
17:33Yeah.
17:34Hi, everyone.
17:48I'm going to be doing a hustle out of here, okay?
17:58That's a lot of you, okay?
18:00Hey, look for it!
18:01Over here!
18:02Over here!
18:03All right, go to the locker!
18:04Charge!
18:06Go, go!
18:08Hey, brunch lady, Rhonda.
18:12I am so sorry about this, principal neighbors.
18:16This is really weird for me, too.
18:18We just got to get you back in the locker.
18:19I haven't, you got this.
18:21Everyone be chill!
18:22Oh, my gosh, that vest.
18:25That is an exact replica of the vest I got in Mallorca.
18:28Oh, my God!
18:32A bag of wet hair?
18:37There are 14 lighthouses.
18:39I've visited all 14 of them.
18:41Oh, my gosh!
18:42Oh, my gosh!
18:42Oh, my gosh!
18:55Oh!
18:57Not today.
18:58You're an enormous giant spider.
19:02Or my name isn't Mark Redshirt!
19:06Ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:11Oh, you okay, buddy?
19:25Oh!
19:27Okay, that works.
19:29Y'all ready?
19:29Giddy-o!
19:31Now, you're passing the locker!
19:33Yeah!
19:34Yeah!
19:34Yeah!
19:34Yeah!
19:34Yeah!
19:39Just rolling through, girls!
19:41Ha, ha, ha, ha!
19:42Yikes.
19:44How'd he get so big?
19:45I think he may have eaten a lot of people after we left.
19:47Come on, Cheryl, can we talk about this, please?
19:55Sure.
19:55Why don't we start with how you sold me out and ruined my life?
20:04That's funny.
20:05That's not exactly how I remember it.
20:07See, what I remember is we were friends.
20:13And then I made the elite squad, but you didn't make the higher science team.
20:18And then you modified my detainer without my consent, causing me to send a wanted rogue asset to Dimension X.
20:25Wait, again with the Amelia Earhart thing?
20:27Yes, again with the Amelia Earhart thing.
20:32You tampered with my detainer.
20:35Steven, what did you do?
20:37I caught up with her and she burst into particles.
20:41It works!
20:43Yes!
20:44What works, Steven?
20:45Dimension X, like we said.
20:46What?
20:47We talked about that.
20:48No, we didn't.
20:49Why are you upset?
20:51You used me for your own precious research.
20:54Don't say that.
20:56It was her.
20:58She's gone rogue.
20:59No, don't.
20:59No, don't.
21:00No, no, no, no.
21:02Ask her where Amelia Earhart is.
21:04Check her detainer right now.
21:05You lied to me.
21:07Don't.
21:08You.
21:09Okay, I shouldn't have.
21:10I shouldn't have done that.
21:12But I was not using you.
21:14I just, I wanted you to.
21:18What?
21:18I wanted you to notice me.
21:22What?
21:22After you made the elite squad.
21:24I never saw you again.
21:27You, oh, you finally fit in somewhere.
21:29Meanwhile, I'm back to being that crackpot Schneider, too unstable for higher science.
21:34Nothing I haven't heard my whole life.
21:36And you, you just, you ditched me.
21:38It wasn't like that.
21:40And you were struggling with that case.
21:42And she kept escaping.
21:43And I thought if I could just make it work.
21:48If I, if, if I could just help you, then we could, you know, do what we always talked
21:54about.
21:55Take mom by storm.
21:57Run it together.
21:57We still could have done all that, Stephen.
22:01If only you hadn't been so.
22:04So what?
22:09Say it.
22:12You're crazy!
22:16Crazy.
22:16I am not crazy!
22:20I know.
22:22But you had just betrayed me.
22:24I only betrayed you because you betrayed me first.
22:30No, I didn't.
22:34I didn't turn you in, Stephen.
22:36But, if, if, if you didn't report me to mom, then who did?
22:52Ouch!
22:53Sorry, office buddy.
22:55You just went a bit crazy.
22:59Got her, sir.
23:01Yes, I'll find the two delinquents and bring them in.
23:06Hey.
23:08Ready?
23:09Let's suck up some anomalies.
23:36Get him!
23:37Help!
23:40Take my hand!
23:42Take my hand!
23:43Ready?
23:44Yes.
23:45Get it!
23:46Hell yes!
24:16Okay.
24:22Okay.
24:24Now we celebrate!
24:26Yeah!
24:37Okay.
24:38Okay.
24:40Can you...
24:42I can't. I can't.
24:43I'll be back. I promise.
24:44I'll be back.
24:45I'll be back.
24:46I'll be back.
24:47I'll be back.
24:48I'll be back.
24:49I'll be back.
24:50I'll be back.
24:51I'll be back.
24:52I'll be back.
24:53Hey.
24:54Hey.
24:55Guys.
24:56Snyder.
24:57You're alive!
24:58Okay.
24:59Guess what?
25:00We crushed him.
25:01Alright.
25:02You have to go find those missing mascot heads.
25:04Now.
25:05There's another dad here.
25:06And 6689 will keep degrading unless the missing matter is returned.
25:09But what about you?
25:11And how are we going to find the mascot heads?
25:13You've made it this far.
25:14You'll figure it out.
25:15And if not, one of the other Snyders is going to have to help you.
25:18Because I have to stay here and handle things.
25:25But what about them?
25:26As soon as you go through, they're going to re-freeze and reset to exactly the way they were before the override.
25:31So, they're not going to remember any of this?
25:33They're just going to go back to being mad at us?
25:35Yeah.
25:37Can you give us a minute?
25:38Yeah.
25:39Hey, guys.
25:40That was...
25:41That was really great work.
25:42I have to admit, that was kind of fun.
25:43Yeah.
25:44It was.
25:45But we have to go away for a bit.
25:50And, uh...
25:51But we just wanted to say thank you for...
26:03Oh, my God.
26:04What?
26:05It's fine.
26:06We forgive you.
26:07We'll see you when you get back.
26:08Oh!
26:09Oh!
26:10Oh!
26:11Oh!
26:12Oh!
26:13Oh!
26:14It's...
26:15Okay.
26:16We're all getting here.
26:17It's okay to cry.
26:19Oh!
26:20Oh!
26:21Oh!
26:22Oh!
26:23Oh!
26:24Oh!
26:25Oh!
26:26Oh!
26:27Oh!
26:28Oh!
26:29Oh!
26:30Oh!
26:31Oh!
26:32Oh!
26:33Oh!
26:34Oh!
26:35Oh!
26:36Okay.
26:37All right.
26:38Look, I've...
26:39I've put the coordinates for 6689 on the Holo Network.
26:41So as soon as you get the mascot heads, you can come straight back here.
26:44Okay?
26:45And whatever happens out there, I'm...
26:48I'm proud of you.
26:51And I've enjoyed getting to know you.
26:54Kind of.
26:55Yeah, man.
26:58Okay.
26:59You too.
27:00Also, could you mention that to the other Schneiders when you chat with them next?
27:04Because they think we're massive screw-ups.
27:05I thought you said they loved you.
27:06Love is a strong word.
27:07Oh, my God.
27:08Just get the mascot heads and get back here.
27:10Okay.
27:11Okay.
27:12Okay.
27:13Okay.
27:14Hey!
27:15Hey!
27:16Hey!
27:17Hey!
27:18Hey!
27:19Hey!
27:20Hey!
27:21Hey!
27:22Hey!
27:23Hey!
27:24Hey!
27:25Hey!
27:26Ha-ha.
27:27Hey!
27:28Hey!
27:29Hey!
27:30Hey!
27:31Hey!
27:32Hey!
27:33Hey!
27:34Hey!
27:35Hey!
27:36Good luck!
27:37Hey!
27:38Hey!
27:40Hey!
27:41Hey!
27:42Hey!
27:43Hey!
27:44Hey!
27:45Hey!
27:46Was that Andy?
27:47Can we do...
27:48Did we go to the Academy together?
27:49Steven Schneider?
27:50Time! Oh, man.
27:51Yeah.
27:52So, I mean, any insight into what the heck happened here?
27:57Uh...
28:00Um...
28:04Uh...
28:07Yes.
28:08Look, I built the portal with the help of the other Schneiders.
28:14And we've been helping Davy and Jonesy escape Cheryl ever since.
28:18We finally got them home, and then there were these missing mascot heads.
28:23Anyway, I sent the girls back through the portal so they could retrieve them, and we could reset 6-6-8-9.
28:27Then after that, I and the other Schneiders will take full responsibility, uh, for... for everything.
28:37Steven, relax. None of that is necessary. Or happening.
28:42Steven, relax.
28:48What?
28:49Gosh, and to think all those crazy stories Cheryl said about you were true!
28:55Twist alert!
28:56What?
28:57Hey.
29:02It was you.
29:10Oh, farts.
29:13It was me.
29:15So, Cheryl, what have you done with her?
29:17How did you get that?
29:19Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
29:20Cheryl! Cheryl!
29:22Oh, boy.
29:23Hmm.
29:27Oh, boy.
29:34Disgusting vermin.
29:41Oh, Cheryl, got some bad news about your buddy Schneider.
29:45Oh, farts.
29:52Oh, farts.
30:05Woo!
30:07So, what you're saying is Cheryl attacked you and murdered Schneider 6-6-8-9, then locked the universe so the girls can't get back.
30:21You have full discretion to use whatever resources or force is necessary, but hurry and be discreet.
30:28Because if 6-6-8-9 stays locked in stasis for much longer, it may have to be decommissioned for good.
30:45Open encrypted file, Andy's dandy manifesto.
30:49Hmm.
31:00Hmm.
31:02Take your time, girls.
31:04I am in no rush.
31:07So, bad news.
31:09We have no idea where the mascot heads are.
31:11That is very, very bad.
31:12That's absolutely garbage.
31:14Full sooth.
31:15Lamentable tragedy.
31:16I got lunch with Pit this morning.
31:19We're gonna get in so much trouble.
31:21My specialty in this situation is panic.
31:23You know, harsh tokes.
31:24This sounds like a YP and not an MP.
31:27Your problem, not my problem.
31:29Understand?
31:30Well, it looks like the girls are going back into the key change.
31:35..icky change.
31:36Let's do it now!
31:37Let's do it!
31:40Yeah!
31:41Ah!
31:43Fart!
31:46Fart!
31:49Fart!
31:51Fart!
31:54It feels like I'm made of glass
32:09If I could cut you
32:12Or you could break me in half
32:15Spending days feeling pain
32:21I didn't know I meant you'd been away
32:24I'm a made of land
32:27It takes time
32:30You can't hold that man
32:33I'm a made of land
32:51I'm a made of land
32:59It's a good day
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