- 2 days ago
Davey & Jonesie's Locker Season 1 Episode 6- Orange Is the New Snack - FULL
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:21Okay, okay, who knew that the giant spider living under the school is gonna be such a good liar
00:26It is not our fault that we automatically assumed that hatching a bunch of radioactive spider eggs would immediately lead to cool superpowers instead of
00:33I know it's by the apocalypse
00:39Okay, okay, okay, what's going on with this world, huh? What's going on with this world?
00:44I don't know
00:46Really?
00:47The killer clowns. What about uh, demons? Demons is good. Yeah zombies
00:53Oh butts for heads on these heads for butts or the farts farts for burps, okay?
00:59I'm down for anything. I'm ready. I'm ready to go
01:08Okay, this is kind of eerily normal
01:12So normal
01:15Hey, hi, hey
01:17Hi, hi, how are you? I'm good. Yeah, good. We're good, too. We're very good and very happy. Yes
01:26We've been here all day as you saw
01:30Shall we go to science? Yes
01:32Classic second period science with my favorite guy
01:37Did you guys do the homework? No
01:40No, also classic also classic
01:42You're eating an orange? Yeah
01:46You famously don't like handheld fruits because they're too sticky. Um, I've never seen that in my life
01:51And I love oranges. Those are so silly
01:55You know what?
01:57Okay
02:00Hey guys
02:04Um, okay, what are the odds this world is pretty much exactly the same as ours but the only food anyone ever eats is oranges?
02:10Hi
02:14Okay, good morning class
02:17Now today we will be continuing our experiment of making a working battery from our only known source of food and sustenance
02:28oranges
02:30Um, duh
02:32Duh indeed, Sierra. Duh indeed
02:35Okay, so we take the positive there and the negative there
02:40I'm sorry. Is this the most boring world we've been to?
02:43Yeah, but at least we're gonna be able to blend in for once
02:46Plus when is the last time we consumed any vitamin c?
02:49All right, no drama, no Cheryl, no scurvy. We're good
02:52Davey, Jonesy, no talking. See me after class
02:55Oh, okay. Yes
02:58See me after class. Turn around
03:01Thank you. We will see you after class teacher
03:04Okay
03:06Everybody out
03:07Thank you, Mr. Snyder
03:08I'm just not
03:09Yeah, I
03:11Yeah, all right, Davey and Jonesy, I'm sure I don't need to warn you about the dangers of not paying attention
03:18You two
03:19Okay, hey, hey, hey, mistress, you do not need to give us the spiel just blend in no drama
03:25Yeah, we got this whole universe on lock
03:28Yes, typical universe has got the only thing anyone eats is oranges
03:31Easy peasy
03:33Orange squeezy
03:34Okay
03:35Good
03:35It is most certainly not orange squeezy
03:38Do you have any idea the havoc you wreaked in your previous universe?
03:42I'm sorry, but Queen Octavia seemed like a super nice giant talking spider
03:46Yeah, how are we supposed to know that hatching all of her eggs was actually a bad idea
03:49or that cheryl would immediately know that it was us or that she would once again take out her rage by turning that universe of
03:55Schneider into a cq
03:56Like that literally could happen to anybody
03:58No, it literally couldn't have it could and does only ever happen to you two
04:03Have we not been clear?
04:04That is a can of worms question
04:06I just I don't understand why you continue to insist on meddling in the rules of every universe you enter
04:12We are not meddling man. We are doing the right thing
04:16Okay, what a mother comes up to you. She goes help me with my baby
04:20She's like eight eyes and they're all crying
04:22Yeah, and you're gonna go and you're really sad
04:23You're gonna go yes, because I'm a good person and I'm gonna help you mother
04:27You're talking about radioactive man-eating spiders
04:30People eating spiders, you cave person
04:32You are so lucky we weren't recording because you would be cancelled
04:35I can't even look at you
04:36You are so comfortable in your cushy little life that you've never actually stood up for anything
04:41What cushy little life?
04:43I am a disgraced genius moonlighting as a science teacher whose fate is consistently in the hands of two actual teenagers
04:50Oh
04:51Okay, you know what I we have actually been looking out for you quite a bit
04:56And I think that's actually pretty selfless considering the circumstances
04:59Unless you would prefer to have your memories erased by a deranged psychopath
05:03Okay, well obviously not
05:05Okay, well then in this world you are not going to meddle you're going to blend in for once
05:11Okay, okay
05:12Giant talking spiders are one thing, but eating a few oranges that's not hard
05:16It's nature's candy
05:18No, that's ice
05:18Um
05:19What how?
05:19About that
05:20Ice being nature's candy?
05:21No, of course not
05:22We're eating oranges
05:23You're probably not going to need to do any of that
05:27So I'm going to have the portal up and ready in about an hour
05:30So why don't you just go to third period and then come straight back here and don't go anywhere else
05:34But after third period's lunch
05:35And all this talk about oranges has made us hungry
05:38For oranges
05:39We are very scurvy conscious right now
05:41Have you read the articles?
05:42It's coming back hard
05:44Yeah, well just don't go to lunch, okay?
05:46Bye
05:46Okay
05:47Bye
05:49Bye
05:52Is it just me or is he being weirder than you?
05:54Oh no, he's definitely hiding something
05:58We're definitely going to lunch
05:59Yes, we're going to lunch
06:00Everything is boring
06:01Wake up and I'm soaring
06:03I think I could die like you right now
06:07Everything is boring
06:10Hi
06:11Oh, sorry
06:33Want some?
06:34What is that?
06:35Sea bass
06:36I picked up the recipe over in gelatin world
06:39If you can mind over matter it, it really does taste like fish
06:42Oh
06:43It's time
06:44Don't you just love the bi-monthly meetings?
06:46It's always such a kick to get on the horn with the top brass
06:55Andy Butler ready to report
07:00Uh, sure
07:01Yeah, I can go first
07:02Um, let's see
07:04Uh, this week I closed 25 cases
07:07And last week I actually broke my own record
07:1141 cases
07:14Oh, thank you
07:15But you know what?
07:16It was a team effort
07:18I just did the leg work
07:19And the brain work
07:20And you know, all the filing too
07:24Cheryl?
07:25I am still working on case file 6689
07:30But I am certain it won't be long till I apprehend the delinquents in question
07:35They are just a little more
07:39Unpredictable than I'd expected
07:41Oh, wow
07:46They did not like that
07:49Boy, if we thought you weren't mad at those two girls before
07:51Look out now, right?
07:55Oh my
07:56Yeah, I'll take the orange
08:11Yeah, I'll take the orange
08:17Oh, you're pushing you
08:26I can start again
08:30Where's yours?
08:32Orange
08:34No, no, no, no
08:36Sheriff?
08:37Sure
08:39Please don't eat me
08:40You'd say something?
08:41No
08:45It's me
08:48The orange?
08:49Yes
08:52Um
08:52Okay, so uh
08:55Are you gonna maybe
08:56Are you gonna explain?
08:57Yep, I'll explain
08:58Please, thank you
08:59I just wasn't sure you could hear me
09:01Oh no, we can obviously hear
09:02Loud and clear
09:03Perfect
09:04My name is Julius
09:06You're an orange named Julius
09:09Yes
09:10Orange Juli
09:11No, you know what?
09:12Never mind, never mind
09:13Okay, um
09:14You can talk?
09:17I, like all oranges
09:19Have the power to telepathically communicate
09:21With humans
09:22Or at least we once did
09:24Long ago
09:25Oranges and people lived in harmony
09:28Until the humans got a taste for our flesh
09:30Realizing the vitamin C in our blood
09:33Could make them powerful
09:34They became crazed with it
09:37Losing their ability to hear our pleas for mercy
09:42Okay
09:43Come on
09:43Come on
09:44Yeah
09:45Come on
09:46Come on
09:47Come on
09:47It's true, look around you
09:49Come on
09:55C'mon
10:04C'mon
10:10C'mon
10:11C'mon
10:13C'mon
10:14C'mon
10:15so why are we the only ones that can hear you i don't know most people lost the ability to hear
10:27us centuries ago oh but we are not most people because we're from another universe right and
10:31that's why we're the only you're our only hope you're gonna say that yes my citrus brethren
10:37have grown too fearful and weak to fight back only you can help us overthrow our human overlords
10:43and make them see the error of their ways okay okay cool okay just casual full-on coup no totally
10:52okay um hey julius do you mind if we like you have a hot minute oh absolutely just chat it over it's a
10:58big ask thank you thank you very much yeah just hang out yeah just we'll be right back i'll be here
11:05okay so this is not exactly not meddling oh no this is the opposite of not meddling but let's be real
11:10how do we not not meddle on this one yeah in fairness i mean we've taken on some causes way
11:15stupider than this one do you like the spine the spiders two hours ago literally two hours ago but
11:20you know this this seems legit oh yeah i mean unless the oranges are some i don't know dangerous fruit
11:27race hellbent on world domination
11:29not getting that i'm not getting that vibe no me neither no okay hey julius we're in we're in and
11:40maybe somewhere underneath schneider's unapologetic selfishness there was a deeper urge to actually
11:46do the right thing the second i said that yeah you heard it as soon as you said it that's not gonna
11:52happen it's okay okay to the lab to the lab whoa whoa watch the name oh sorry sorry sorry yep
11:59oh good we're almost recalibrated here i think we're just about set and you went to lunch yes yes we
12:15went to lunch okay it's gonna sound crazy i know it's gonna start crazy but they're just the oranges
12:19are sentient yes you knew well yes no sort of yeah i've been here so long i just kind of naturally
12:28tune them out you see i knew you were hiding something stupid slash horrifying okay for your
12:33information i do not eat them i subsist on a yeast paste i invented called schneider schmear so okay first
12:39off you didn't actually stop anyone from eating them so that's a bad brag man okay well what would
12:43you suggest i do something literally anything oh just maybe the bare minimum there's no point okay
12:50because the orange eaters are too powerful and besides with cheryl closing in as she has we simply
12:54can't risk it okay well we can't just do nothing of course you can see this is not your fight you're
13:01only gonna make things worse and you're gonna get me turned into a sea cucumber if i could just jump in
13:06for a sec your adult male friend he kind of seems like a what's the word oh um a coward yeah we're
13:12all thinking oh juicy did that orange just call me a coward i am not a coward i am not oh you want
13:18to know the secret of the multiverse you're gonna tell us anyways many of the scratch that most of
13:22the worlds are terrible and there's nothing you can do about it so the sooner you come to terms with
13:27that the happier that you scratch that i will be down here don't listen to him please i beg you help me
13:34and my orange friends get the justice we deserve it's so cold yeah we gotta do that that oh yes that
13:42sounds great but first we do have to go to the bathroom mm-hmm we have our menstrual it's time oh
13:49yeah ow god yeah i understand i don't know it's fine just go do whatever you do yeah honor our moons
13:56praise mother gaia eat some lipstick you know that's what we do yeah you wouldn't get it yeah okay but if
14:01this is some trick that you've pulled on the other schneiders i'm gonna that's that's very
14:05embarrassing for me so you're an ally yes get this guy a badge yeah this guy loves just close the door
14:11okay thank you ally cheers bye
14:13you know for a science teacher schneider seems oddly uncomfortable with basic human biology
14:24he's uncomfortable a lot of things emotional honesty wearing jeans basic acts of bravery but
14:30don't worry julius even if schneider's too selfish to help us we got you my gratitude is boundless
14:37though why are we in this human waste collector room well if there's anything we've learned from
14:41this experience it's fence i would say that 90 percent of our plans have been bent based borderline too
14:47many let's go
14:50beep we need a distraction i can do it that's so brave of you i dig the initiative
15:04but how just get me down there
15:08okay
15:09more freedom
15:15nope
15:18well that didn't work yeah i have no idea what we were expecting he's literally an orange
15:24i'm okay guys i'll just wait down here now what
15:27i have a plan
15:29is it good no
15:31finally we're just about ready to go so i think it is time
15:43to go
15:44uh
15:45where'd he be and jonesy
15:48well how should i know i mean they're your friends right i think i can never tell
15:51we noticed them at lunch
15:53not eating oranges
15:55we don't like that
15:57we like oranges obviously everyone does so like what gives steven
16:02what davy and jonesy they love the things in fact i'm sure they're in the calf right now
16:07eating oranges because they're super hungry from having forgotten to eat oranges at lunch
16:10or they are in the calf freeing the oranges and i've just sent a pack of students directly
16:22to them which will surely cause an anomaly yeah
16:27rain drops on oranges and lovely little oranges little breadcattles that are orange
16:34when the orange
16:36davy how dare you waste the precious time of the kitchen staff
16:40uh with uh without making it a two-hander and a one and a two and
16:46and one you say orange and i say orange and i say orange and i say orange and you say orange
16:52and orange orange orange
16:54we're all gonna go now okay this is your chance for freedom
16:57i'm gonna open this little
16:59you guys are free
17:01go let's peel the whole thing up
17:04oh that's really good
17:05and see
17:06okay
17:06and uh oh and it lets everybody drop a beat now
17:11and i don't tell me what to eat
17:14my favorite food is a citrus treat
17:16you slice it and spread it and you and i love it so bad
17:19and i put it on toast to call it marmo lad
17:22oh yes trust me you don't want to stay here
17:25there are teenagers and they want to eat you and we don't have a lot
17:29hi
17:33i was just having a lie down
17:35oh
17:36um i'm gonna tell you something and it might sound a little bit crazy
17:45but would you believe me if i told you that oranges are actually a sentient race of citrus fruits
17:51who communicate telepathically but only davy and i can hear them because we're from another universe
17:56yeah
17:56really
17:58no follow-up questions
18:01no
18:01not at the moment no
18:04okay great
18:06um
18:06listen me i'm gonna need you to get as many of these guys out the back as you can if this is a life or death situation
18:13you got it and if this conversation is not already caused an anomaly that
18:17oh oranges they're so good and when i say
18:19that definitely will
18:20oh
18:21orange orange
18:22and when i say fruity you say yum yum fruity
18:26yum yum
18:26fruity
18:27you don't have to say yum yum yum
18:29okay so
18:30oh yeah thank you the art of live theater is very much alive isn't it
18:35we can keep going
18:36no you don't have to do that and you know what like any good art
18:40thank you orange i'm sure we all need some time to digest so i'm actually just going to take my
18:44just hold it
18:45i'm gonna
18:45you haven't been eating your oranges
18:52i knew it just one bite you'll love it
18:54no no no no no
18:56you'll love that
19:00oh no
19:02get away
19:08stop
19:08jv and jonesy are telling the truth girl about what you haven't said anything like four minutes
19:18it's true
19:21or it's gonna be as soon as i explain things right now
19:30oranges
19:33are people
19:33yeah
19:36take it in
19:38i mean they're clearly just oranges so
19:40but like people they have thoughts
19:45and feelings
19:47okay and that's exactly why we're gonna stop eating oranges as food today today the oranges they
19:56they rise up yes today the oranges take a stand come on
20:03today the oranges they say no more today
20:06what is going on okay now you hustle i don't know
20:11excuse me one second i thought that you said you wanted revolution oh we do but years of
20:16persecution and an overwhelming lack of limbs have made my people cowardly
20:20much like your adult male friend who also seems to be fleeing
20:25yeah like the wind
20:26oh
20:32oh
20:33oh
20:34need oranges
20:36and run
20:37interesting
20:39he's so strong
20:41okay take it yes yes
20:54davy jonesy
21:06i've been eagerly awaiting our next meeting
21:10oh yes
21:13oh
21:14sheriff vice principal
21:16vice principal mason how are you
21:19good it's so good to see you at the school that we go to and that we see you a lot at
21:23it's great to see you again
21:25it's because it's normal we were just about to uh eat that we were supposed to eat that orange
21:31yeah we were like so hungry for that for an orange that's what we eat here every day
21:38this orange right here yep go save yourselves yep yep yep because we we like all children at
21:45this school we love to eat oranges so if we could just have that one oh of course
21:49yes in fact why don't you take a big bite right now oh no what's the problem
21:57not hungry i uh so hungry i'm hungry for oranges please give it to me
22:02it's just that davy is actually like very specific about the way that she eats yeah so
22:07yeah it's like weird it's like really weird here and you're gonna think of me
22:11she has these like freaky little teeth they're like yeah they're not that freaky they're a little
22:15pretty freaky but i have a big wrong tongue hate it it's gross it is violent it's okay do what you must
22:24you must no nobody's gonna stop me from eating this orange you're going to that well a lot today huh
22:45if this were just a normal day then you would just eat this orange it's okay just do it eat it
22:52i'm getting very tired of these games goodbye cruel world i'm gonna give you to the count of three
23:03wait that changed my mind please no don't eat me don't eat me no don't
23:07two
23:12okay great i'm gonna go eat this in private weirdly thank you so much
23:16stop davy jonesy i try to explain to them that you two can hear the oranges because you're from
23:22another universe and travel to a portal in one of these lockers but they won't believe me
23:27hi
23:31i can't believe that this is how we go out it's so dumb it's so dumb
23:35stop
23:44davy and jonesy aren't telling the truth oh my god can we know these dramatic entrances are kind of
23:54killing the pacing so i'm sorry what i mean is davy and jonesy are indeed not from around here
24:00and no they haven't eaten any oranges hey maybe take the pacing note dude but the point is that they
24:09did something because sometimes a man has to stand up and do something even if it's inconvenient or
24:16uncomfortable or involves a grown man talking to a pile of loose fruit wow what a brave little speech
24:23stephen too bad selflessness has never been your strong suit
24:38do you guys like know each other well or is that never mind that okay mind this for justice
24:46okay yeah yeah yeah uh for justice
25:00wrap it up and start again
25:14hey guys what what did i miss
25:34hi i'm joyce
25:38the portal's online go we can't go without you you're gonna get sent to grandma's i did the right
25:43thing i can live with the consequences if i learned one thing from you guys today it's that
25:48i knew you were the mastermind behind the part of
25:56let's do this are you sure i'm ready for my name isn't julius orange hey cheryl
26:03what are you sure i'm ready for my name is julius
26:12i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry
26:16oh
26:25i'm sorry
26:35oh i got this all right
26:41wait
26:54right so this is better how silence now where were we oh yes the food pyramid
27:06you're in julius's world now
27:08Oh, yeah.
27:13Oh, yeah.
27:38Oh, yeah.
28:08Oh, yeah.
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