- 2 days ago
Dinosaur Season 1 Episode 3 - FULL
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:01I'm engaged.
00:02It's not amazing news and I'm not happy for you, Evie. I'm deeply concerned.
00:05Well, did you think you were just going to become two old ladies in that flat together?
00:08The people we love won't ever understand how hard it can be to do these things, but we do them anyway.
00:13For them.
00:14When you asked me to be your maid of honour, I was shook.
00:16Precious dad, Sachin, wants to meet the whole family.
00:19She wants us all to put on a mask and pretend to be something or not to impress his dad.
00:23We have put our personalities aside for you to impress this man.
00:27Now, if I can do it, and I'm literally autistic, then you can do it.
00:30His glasses are really small. Don't say anything.
00:33Well, that was at a glumasonic.
00:35I had a fight with my girlfriend. I won't invite her to your big wedding.
00:39What wedding?
00:40Evie is my sister.
00:42And she's a really great and thoughtful and creative person.
00:46And I need to know, why are your glasses so tiny?
00:50I think they make me look more interesting than I am.
00:53Well, sir, congratulations on order.
00:55Do you want to go with me to get a not hot beverage?
00:59Yeah. Yeah, OK.
01:03Have you ever seen anything so magnificent?
01:06Wow.
01:08Pretty impressive fossil, eh?
01:10Mm-hm.
01:11It's stunning.
01:13I knew you'd be furious if I opened it without you, even on a Saturday morning.
01:18You could be digging these up on the Isle of Wight.
01:22You should apply.
01:24You're more than qualified. I'll write you a reference.
01:26Mm.
01:27I have always wanted to be a footnote in a dun paper.
01:30If you're worried about me, I'll be fine.
01:33It's not you I'm worried about. I know you'll be fine. It's Evie.
01:39Is she not getting married?
01:41I don't think signing a little bit of paper is going to change all that much.
01:44Before I got married, I used to see the boys from my foraging club every weekend.
01:50Now I just get the odd text at Christmas and the occasional prostate uptake.
01:57But I don't miss them because Gemma fills those spaces.
02:02My sister's still going to need me.
02:04Speak of the lovely devil.
02:0640% of all unexpected bodies are found by dog walkers.
02:10We don't have a dog, so we walk each other.
02:12Bye.
02:13I found a dead cat in the park once.
02:17That's cool.
02:18Thanks for the pep talk.
02:3497, 98, 99, 100.
02:39You should stretch to avoid injury.
02:41Mm-mm.
02:42Did you see that woman with her cat on the leash?
02:44Yes.
02:45It made me think about when Mum and Dad put you in the harness at Universal Studios.
02:49You kept trying to get behind all their eyes to prove it wasn't real.
02:52It's wrong to gaslight children with fake magic.
02:54If it wasn't for you, I'd still believe in Santa.
02:5614 was too old, Evie.
02:58But we still do this when you're married.
03:00What else are we going to do?
03:02Oh, um, Rinesh stayed over last night.
03:07I told you now so you can fix your face.
03:09Evie, if he comes between me, you and Taylor Swift being friends,
03:14I will divorce him before that happens.
03:17Take me in your arms.
03:20Once again with feelings.
03:24Here we are.
03:29Oh, I need some more sugar.
03:44You know this stuff has absolutely no nutritional value, don't you?
03:48Our mother lived through the 90s on three bowls of special care a day.
03:51The cereal, not the drugs.
03:56Neandog, I can source you a gut-friendly granola.
03:59Really cultivate your biome.
04:01Mmm. I can see your testicles.
04:05Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
04:09Who could not see his bing-bongs?
04:13Prove it.
04:14You're a nightmare.
04:16You used to do that to both all the time when you were kids.
04:18Mm-hmm.
04:21What's the rush?
04:22Big day.
04:23Well, it's a big day, isn't it?
04:24Yeah.
04:25I have a date.
04:26Dress fitting!
04:28No, I have a date.
04:29No, you have a dress fitting.
04:30No, I don't have a dress fitting.
04:31I know I don't have a dress fitting because I have a date,
04:33because the dress fitting's on the 16th.
04:34No, it's today.
04:35No, it's the 16th.
04:36It says so on the calendar, and the calendar is king.
04:39No, the designer cancelled the 16th.
04:41She's fitting one of those women for a baby shower.
04:43I explained all this in the group chat.
04:45What?
04:48I muted your group chat.
04:49Nina!
04:50Don't Nina me.
04:51Amber kept posting selfies, and they're not that good,
04:54and you all reply with flame emojis and Yas Queen,
04:57and the notifications are draining my battery.
04:59Nina, you're my maid of honour.
05:00You're supposed to be on top of this stuff.
05:03I'm sorry.
05:05Hey-ho.
05:06I'm back, and I'm decent.
05:08Yeah, you're decent.
05:12Look, I know that changes in plans vex you, right?
05:14But this appointment was really hard to come by.
05:16You said maybe my date was very hard to come by.
05:18Well, I don't think your date's dressed to be on my call.
05:20You don't know.
05:21You don't know what he does.
05:22Maybe he did.
05:23Just call and reschedule him.
05:25Who is it anyway?
05:28It's the hot drink vendor from my work.
05:30No.
05:31Ooh, Nina's got a boyfriend.
05:33No, Nina doesn't do relationships.
05:35Well, maybe I do now.
05:36Things change.
05:37And I can't just call Lee because we're not at that stage of a relationship,
05:40which is why I have to go on this date.
05:42Oh.
05:43My.
05:44Gosh.
05:45Is this a first date?
05:46Yes.
05:47Well, just text him then.
05:48Tell him you'll come after the dress fitting.
05:49I can't meet him after the fitting because that'll make it a night time date
05:52and men expect things on night time dates that I'm not willing to do with him yet.
05:56I said I'd meet him at two.
05:57I'll just do both.
05:58Nina.
05:59The fitting's at three.
06:00Just move your thing to another day.
06:02I'm sure your man friend will understand.
06:05And unmute my wedding chart.
06:09Our first date was a nooner, wasn't it?
06:12Was it?
06:13I don't think that means what you think it does, babe.
06:15We talked for hours.
06:17It's just so easy with you.
06:19It's this instant connection.
06:21Hey, Nines.
06:22If you do go on that date, don't do anything I wouldn't do, yeah?
06:25I'll come back engaged then, yeah?
06:27I can do both.
06:28I can do both.
06:29I can do both.
06:34I can do both.
06:48I can do both.
06:49I'm a cool lady.
06:50I'm gonna do both.
06:58You sure?
06:59I can do both.
07:00Oh.
07:01Anna.
07:02There was no signal in there.
07:03Oh.
07:04I don't do hugs.
07:06Oh.
07:07I don't do butts up.
07:09Sorry, I don't know why.
07:10I mean I don't, I don't do that.
07:13Nina, there was no signal in there.
07:16Oh, I don't do hugs.
07:17Oh.
07:18And I don't do butt stuff.
07:22Sorry, I don't know why.
07:23I mean, I don't do that.
07:27But not as a standard practice.
07:29It's just not come up yet.
07:34Sorry, that's...
07:35I don't know why I'm...
07:36And I shouldn't...
07:38Shall we?
07:43Can I get you something else to drink?
08:01Anything from the lunch menu?
08:02Oh, no, thank you.
08:03And yourself?
08:04Er, I'll have a...
08:07Negroni.
08:11Spagliato.
08:13With Prosecco in it.
08:17From that viral clip?
08:20No, I'll just, erm, just another one of these.
08:23Here.
08:25Oh, no.
08:31When Evie drinks Prosecco,
08:33she does problematic football chants.
08:36Poor Evie.
08:36Did you, erm, hear about the craziness at the museum yesterday?
08:45A skateboarder tried to do a trick off the stairs at the entrance and fell.
08:49His bone was sticking right out of his leg.
08:52I'm surprised you weren't down there taking samples.
08:54Oh, we haven't displayed any human remains in the museum since 1999.
08:59We did have this Iron Age skull, but it turned out to be a counterfeit.
09:03It was a man from Edinburgh whose grave had been robbed.
09:05His children stood at the museum and that's why we can't afford a CT scanner.
09:09But I don't see what the big deal is because, you know, death is death.
09:11I don't know.
09:18I think I'd be, er, a little bit traumatised
09:21if I saw my grandad's head in the Natural History Museum.
09:24Oh, you wouldn't know it was him.
09:25All the flesh is gone.
09:26It's just a skull.
09:27Unless you've got a degree in forensic anthropology and facial reconstruction.
09:32Not one of my many side hustles, no.
09:34Do you watch football?
09:46No.
09:50Do you?
09:52Not religiously, but I'm a Wraith Rovers fan.
09:55They're shite, but I love them.
09:58If your football team is shite,
10:00then why don't you choose a better football team?
10:04One does not simply choose a better team.
10:10I get that one.
10:11That's Lord of the Rings.
10:12Oh, sorry.
10:14Do you want me to...
10:16No.
10:17No, okay.
10:18No, it's fine.
10:19I'll be back.
10:19Honestly, I can eat.
10:20Yeah.
10:22It's just because I'm not...
10:23Classes.
10:27Erm.
10:34Why isn't this easy?
10:44Come on, Nina.
10:46Come on, Nina.
10:51Oh, no.
10:53No!
10:54You know, if it's happening, you shouldn't force it.
10:59That's how you get piles.
11:00I'm not shitting.
11:01I'm stuck in the toilet.
11:03That happened to my cousin once.
11:05She sued the airline.
11:06Not in the bowl, in the cubicle.
11:09Oh.
11:09You need to go get Lee.
11:11Who's Lee?
11:12Erm.
11:13He's got blue eyes,
11:14and he's wearing a stripy shirt,
11:15and he's got this, like, jocular,
11:17but it's still handsome face.
11:19Come on, come on, come on, come on.
11:27Come on, come on.
11:30I can't see anyone that looks jocular and handsome.
11:35He's got a shit mullet.
11:37Ah!
11:38Ah!
11:38Excuse me.
11:55Your friend's stuck in the toilet.
11:58No, like, in.
12:00In the toilet.
12:02Right.
12:02Just in the toilet.
12:04Oh, God.
12:08Excuse me.
12:12Okay.
12:22Fuck!
12:27Thank you, Lena.
12:32Hello?
12:35Hiya.
12:40You okay?
12:42No. I'm stuck and I broke the lock.
12:46Nina?
12:49Step back from the door.
12:51Thanks.
13:05When I tell people how I saved your life, I'm gonna edit out the ouch bit.
13:11Can you also edit out the bit where it looks like I've waited in a toilet bowl?
13:14No. See, it's a story about how cool and heroic I am,
13:19so I'm probably gonna keep the pissy leg in.
13:24Nina?
13:25What?
13:27You're a wap.
13:30What?
13:31A wet-ass paleontologist.
13:42Why don't we start this thing over, eh?
13:45I think we both came in a bit too weird.
13:47I really wish I could, but I have a dress fitting at 3 o'clock.
13:52And my sister needs me.
13:54You should have said. We could have rescheduled.
13:56I didn't know that was something I could do. Bye, Lee.
13:59Bye, Nina.
14:01Bye.
14:02Bye.
14:16Stop!
14:18Wait!
14:19I wish I could have resched.
14:20You know why I didn't? It looks like you didn't get any boys down there.
14:36No, so I said to her.
14:37No, Catherine, I think you'll find that I was given slimmer of the week.
14:41And it's interesting that you've pacifically called me out on your Facebook post.
14:44Specifically.
14:45I?
14:46Specifically.
14:47Exactly.
14:48Specifically.
14:49The Count tagged me.
14:50Specifically.
14:51Specifically.
14:52Specifically.
14:53Hold on, Angela. There's a woman whispering something at me on the bus.
14:55Specifically.
14:56Can I help you?
14:57Specifically.
14:58Sorry.
14:59Sorry.
15:00I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
15:11I got stuck in a toilet on my date and then my bus was late.
15:17And then I got cramped because I didn't stretch.
15:20I'm so sorry.
15:21Is that a bird?
15:24Nina, I thought you were going to postpone seeing your wee friend.
15:29You said that and then I groaned non-committally.
15:31Why is there a bird in a dress shop?
15:33Was the date at least good?
15:34No, Amber.
15:35It wasn't at least good.
15:36It was rubbish.
15:37No, what happened?
15:38Somebody planned a dress fitting in the middle of it.
15:41Nina, this is Cecily.
15:47She did the bridesmaid's dresses for Davina McCall's second wedding.
15:50Oh, it was a beautiful reception.
15:53Sting was there.
15:56He played brown-eyed girl on his lute.
15:59Oh, and I take it you're the late girl.
16:02She's sweaty, Clancy.
16:04Fan her.
16:05Oh!
16:06Cecily, this is my big sister Nina.
16:09She's a paleontologist and my maid of honour.
16:12No, just take it off.
16:13No, I don't want to.
16:17I've got a few options that you've found her.
16:19Pop in the changing room and take your clothes off.
16:26Davina can do a full caution change in 17 seconds
16:28and not a word of complaint from her.
16:38Nina.
16:42You look like a princess.
16:43I think it just needs a little styling.
16:46Otherwise it's great.
16:48Mmm, it's stunning.
16:50Draws the eye in.
16:52It distracts.
16:54Good and good.
16:56Let me just see where it doesn't fit.
16:58It's time to set her up and down.
17:06Malcolm!
17:08I don't like it.
17:09I'm sorry.
17:10It's just...
17:11It's very itchy and hot.
17:12That's okay.
17:13That's what the fitting's for.
17:14Do you want a fan?
17:15Clancy.
17:21Nina, we just need to fix the sleeves,
17:23nip in the waist.
17:24Perfect.
17:25Please stop it.
17:26I'm just going to wear something else.
17:27What?
17:28But then you won't coordinate with the others.
17:29I don't care about that.
17:30Yeah, but I care.
17:33Nina, just...
17:34take a deep breath.
17:35Let her do her job.
17:36Please stop managing me.
17:37I'm not.
17:38I'm just trying to help.
17:39You're not helping.
17:40You're making it worse.
17:41I'm not wearing that stupid dress.
17:48Have you got any Prosecco?
17:50Yes, we do.
17:54I need to go.
17:55I need to go.
17:56I need to go.
18:13Nina, I don't want to be like this in front of these people, okay?
18:16Okay.
18:17I can come with you.
18:18No, thank you.
18:23What did I do?
18:24Don't worry.
18:25Nina's not traumatized or anything.
18:27She's just autistic.
18:29Oh.
18:30Malcolm is OCD.
18:33Sweaty girl.
18:34Sweaty girl.
18:35Sweaty girl.
18:36Fuuuuck!
18:39Fuuuuuuuck!
18:51No.
18:52Working your manifesto?
19:18Shit!
19:19Oh!
19:21Oh, you gave me such a fright.
19:23What are you doing here?
19:24I was having a siesta.
19:26Hilda won't let me move back in until she's reabsorbed her energy from the flat.
19:33I told you she was a sponge.
19:35You know she can't stop you from going home.
19:38I'm scared.
19:40Hexes aren't real.
19:41I'm not scared she'll hex me, Nina.
19:43I'm scared that this is it for me.
19:47That this, that this is my life.
19:51Here.
19:53Thanks.
19:54You're welcome.
19:56I'll speak of the devil and she shall call.
20:02Are you not gonna answer it?
20:05No, I have to let it ring out.
20:07If I reject the call, it starts a whole thing.
20:11She's very persistent for a vegan.
20:18Evie texted and says you weren't fucking mental at the fitting.
20:21Is that what she said?
20:22No.
20:23She said that you were upset.
20:25She was worried.
20:26The dress lady kept tugging at me and Evie kept fussing and there was a bird in the shop
20:33and Evie expected me to change my plans for her but I had things to do.
20:38I had a date.
20:39And I wanted to do both.
20:40I can do both things.
20:41Normal people can do both things.
20:42Wait a minute.
20:43You want to be an actual person?
20:44Mm-hmm.
20:45Was it like an episode of the Undateables?
20:48No.
20:49It was worse.
20:51I fell on a toilet.
20:56It was awkward and awful and I was preoccupied.
20:59Aye, because you knew you had somewhere else to be.
21:00I only had somewhere else to be because Evie changed the date of the dress fitting.
21:04She wants me to make everything about her but in a couple of weeks time
21:07she's gonna abandon me for some soy boy wet wipe who makes a gut friendly pasta from Firenze.
21:17Evie won't abandon you.
21:19The girl cannae make a cup of tea on her own.
21:21She needs you.
21:22You're her person.
21:24Now she's got a new person.
21:25No she doesn't.
21:26She's got someone to take her to dinners and tell her she's pretty.
21:28She'll still need you to check her spelling and help her with work and watch the Real House Milfs of Atlantis.
21:33The Real House Wifes of Atlanta and you know that, Bo?
21:36I've heard it both ways.
21:38I can't believe you watch that.
21:39Shite.
21:40You're a scientist, Nina.
21:41Says the mathematician who let his girlfriend convince him to get a sage enema.
21:45I told Evie that in confidence.
21:48I like the Real House Wifes because they do a thing and then it cuts to them sitting in front of a camera explaining why they did what they did.
21:59You never need wonder with a Real House Wife.
22:01Evie gets it.
22:03Well of course she does.
22:04You two freaks get each other.
22:05Do you think you just amputate your whole family when you've got someone new in your life?
22:14No.
22:15No.
22:16No.
22:17No.
22:18Besides, if you two didn't have each other, she'd have a face tattoo and you'd be wearing the same outfit every day like a cartoon character.
22:25She would look good with a face tattoo.
22:31Thank you, Bo.
22:33I know that I say I need Evie, but I need you too.
22:39I can see your testicles.
22:41Made you look.
22:42Bastard.
22:43Oh!
22:44Is that your fancy man?
22:48Mm-hmm.
22:49Tell him I said run.
22:50Oh!
22:50Oh!
23:20Hello?
23:21Hi.
23:22I got home alright.
23:23Erm, my dress fitting was awful and I screamed in a bush.
23:41Don't worry.
23:43I've actually been in the exact same situation.
23:46You'll look back on today and laugh.
23:53I'm more a look back on things and die inside type of girl.
23:57Like a awkward date.
23:59I like the bit where you started talking about grandad corpses.
24:02No, don't.
24:03No, no.
24:04It was good.
24:05You'd be amazed how rarely on a date I get to hear the words, death is death.
24:10Well, it is.
24:11And if you like that, you should hear the rest of my witty date banter.
24:14Oh, is it saucy?
24:17If you're into fossilised shark faeces, then buckle up, son.
24:21Save it for the second date.
24:25Is there a second date?
24:30Erm, if, if, if you have the time.
24:35I can make time.
24:37I can make time.
24:42Take care and do all the day.
24:44Keep going, please.
24:49Be sure to change csvareid one real Wednesday or day on.
24:54And you may think she's quite sure.
24:55Bye.
24:56Bye.
24:57Bye.
24:58Bye.
25:00Bye.
25:02What a poem is near the quest.
25:05Bye.
25:06Bye.
25:08Bye.
25:11Evie?
25:23I'm sorry about you today. I should have changed the date of my date.
25:29Thank you. I'm really sorry too. I was being really pushy.
25:34And there was a bird, and I know you hate birds.
25:36Do you hate birds?
25:38Night, Nina. Night, Evie.
25:43Night, Nina, Meister.
25:47Night...
25:50Nationald.
25:52Ooh. Nationald. I like that.
26:08When it rains, I hope it drowns me.
26:13Cause I feel the pain start to surround me.
26:19You steal my ideas, it's yours, I see it down on the sky.
26:25I'm not gonna escape.
26:26I'm not gonna escape.
26:30I'm not gonna escape.
26:32No.
26:34I'm not.
26:36What was the first thing?
26:37One second.
26:39Noب.
26:40Or did they just run through?
26:42No, other two after I chores.
26:44Oh, which one...
26:45More inside...
26:46And once again...
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