- 4 months ago
Davey & Jonesie's Locker Season 1 Episode 3- The Day the Music Schneid - FULL
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Short filmTranscript
00:00I know you're out there and now I know your names Davey and Jonesy show
00:18yourselves okay that universe was radical dude right like surfer world
00:33really affected you yeah all right same as home my ukulele is missing yeah point
00:43for this world rude girls oh the main man with the portal scan are you trying to get us caught
00:50hmm broken again huh why does that happen every time we go through and is it your fault it's not
00:57intended for repeated use is why plus it's coded for my DNA so every time you push your weird DNA
01:02through it gets all thrown out of whack we have that effect on people and things okay so what's
01:09the deal with this world huh does everyone sneeze fire or have a perfect pitch not here just meet
01:20me in my lap interesting maybe this is a world where Schneider's really uptight and lightly hates
01:27wait but that oh yeah because that's every single one that's right okay quickly please what is wrong
01:49with you two talking about worlds out in the open have you learned nothing about being
01:53multi-dimensional fugitives when you emerge from the portal you should come immediately to the lab
01:57where you can be debriefed on the rules of the universe while the me of that world begins the
02:01inevitable portal repair okay we get it blend in yeah yeah let's go explore whoa whoa explore what did
02:07you just say do you think this is some kind of grand adventure yes that's exactly what it is
02:12no it's not and it's this flippant attitude that's putting us all in major danger great man oh yeah add
02:20that one to the wall yeah that's good this is what I'm talking about this is why you're causing
02:24anomalies wherever you go how dare you what is an anomaly excuse me you don't know what an anomaly is
02:32okay wow the multiverse is managed by a single organization which exists in a super dimension outside
02:41the bounds of the traditional multiverse also known as the management organization of the multiverse
02:48otherwise known as mom nope don't now mom ensures that every universe act according to its own set
02:56of rules when someone leaves their world they are labeled as a delinquent so you two are delinquents
03:03now when a delinquent upsets the rules of a given universe like say toppling a gem based regime
03:10also known as winning then that is called causing an anomaly now when an anomaly detected mom
03:18dispatches a delinquent acquisition deputy also known as a dad and if a dad catches you that is
03:27very bad it's bad to be caught by a dad any questions oh yes yes okay um while you're talking I was just
03:35thinking um were the mom and dad acronyms an accident or did you mean for them to be that stupid
03:39Davey same question okay also why did you and your mom put a portal in our locker trust me mom has no
03:50idea I built the portal and if they did they would be none too pleased you see I used to work for mom
03:56oh backstory alert until we had a bit of a disagreement and afraid of my genius they de-synced me from being a
04:06multi-dimensional being and forced aversion of me to be a lowly 10th grade science teacher in every
04:11universe in existence who is he talking to so I built the portal to re-sync myself a feat that no one has
04:19ever accomplished by the way to show them nothing can stand in the way of true scientific exploration
04:26so are you gonna answer our question or is that and then all the stupid stuff in your stupid locker
04:33brought the portal to you and you two went through instead yeah now we're on a dope adventure the dope
04:38adventure that is not the goal the goal is to get you home which we still have not exactly figured out
04:43how to do because no one can get in touch with Schneider 6689 from your home world so in the meantime
04:48the rest of us Schneiders are forced to send you from world to world in this hideous game of hot potato
04:54before you can cause any more anomalies prompting mom to send a dad which would put us all in let me guess major danger
05:00yes we get it can you just tell us what the deal is here we will blend it we promise okay fortunately
05:07I think you'll find this universe to be quite unchallenging it's exactly like your home world except music is strictly forbidden
05:13I don't understand what the big deal is all you have to do is not saying music is our lifeblood man okay we were artists yes doesn't your soul ever cry out to sing your one true heart song what no
05:20living in a world with no music you have lost your heart uh-huh uh-huh look when I was sent to this world I had to forget about music in order to avoid causing an anomaly it's not that
05:35difficult
05:50difficult
05:52I mean
05:54look what's important is you just have to make it through next class without causing an anomaly think
06:12you can do that it goes against everything that we believe in but yes we can obviously not sing
06:17yeah we got this
06:20a bus departs Philadelphia at 40 miles per hour now if the wheels on the bus are going round and round yep
06:29round and round round and round if the wheels on the bus are going round and round how long would it take to go all around the town
06:39don't sing don't sing don't sing no music no music no music no music
06:43houru
06:47you
06:50are
06:52mm-hmm
06:55RA
06:56DO
06:57i
07:02are
07:04are
07:09are
07:11Oh, I feel so much better.
07:40Now we can make it through the next couple of hours, no problems, no anomalies, and of course, no one the wiser, baby.
07:47Shall we do one more for the road?
07:49One, two, three, four.
07:58Anomaly detected.
07:59Bingo.
08:02I'm coming for you, Davy and Jonesy, and this time I will not.
08:10Hey, Cheryl, what the heck are you doing sitting here alone in the dark, you big weirdo?
08:16Just closed my fourth case of the day.
08:18Another toddler caused a rift in the space-time continuum with one of these.
08:23Ah, you know, I wish I could tell parents that these things love to be particle accelerators, but...
08:29Hey, so how are you doing? Are you still working on that case with those two teen girls, or...?
08:47Yes. But I've detected another anomaly with their signature, and once I apprehend them, I will finally be rid of this hideous reassignment to the juvenile department.
08:58Oh, wait! This is the last case of your probation, right? Man, no wonder you're so hopped up to get them.
09:05If I tell you what, though, I'm gonna miss having an office buddy down here.
09:08But with your training, I think you're gonna get those girls a no-time, tiger!
09:13Oh, oh, oh, oh, ugh! Awkward alert.
09:16Hey, um, I hate to be this guy, but I noticed you've been beaming into the school in your old elite squad duds.
09:22Yeah, that's a no-no. Unfortunately, as I keep reminding you, you wouldn't want to go back and cause an anomaly yourself, right?
09:32It's annoying, but, uh, we've got to blend in, too.
09:36Obviously, I know how to be discreet. And this won't take long.
09:41Oh, yeah! You've been around the block, girl. I know that.
09:44But you know what I was thinking, though? Just since these girls have been giving you such a weird runaround,
09:49I took the liberty of coming up with a cover for you to blend into the high school environment.
09:55You're gonna love it.
09:57And before you say anything, you're welcome.
10:00Oh, there she goes.
10:08So, what do you think?
10:10What the hell is this?
10:11Pretty cool, right?
10:12Apparently, Schrodinger High doesn't have a vice-principal in any universe.
10:16So, I took the liberty of refitting your gear with a mind mod that triggers when you beam in.
10:21That way, in that universe, everyone will think you've always been there and forget about you when you leave.
10:26Pretty nifters, hey? No need to thank me.
10:29Okay, I am proud of us. We had a problem, and then we found a solution, and boom, everybody wins.
10:45Uh, especially us.
10:46Especially us? Look, the sky's not falling.
10:48No.
10:49Even dad to come out to get us.
10:50No.
10:51There's literally nothing bad that could've...
10:52Davey! Jonesy!
10:54Okay, well, first off, I'm gonna assume that you're trying to say music.
11:10Mh-hmm.
11:11And second off.
11:12We don't know what you're talking about.
11:14Yeah, I mean, that could've been any two voices of angels.
11:17Yeah.
11:18do you care? Because music is forbidden. We didn't even do anything wrong, okay,
11:25rule tool? Rules exist for a reason. And as student body vice president, it's my
11:31job to enforce them. So if I catch you doing it again, I'll be forced to report
11:36you. I'm so glad Sierra went back to being vice president because the vice ain't
11:42never did nothing. Also, she's not gonna catch us because we are done doing music.
11:47That's right. All's well that ends well. Uh, another one bites the dust?
11:50I believe her after. I have to love. Who is that?
11:55Have we seen her before?
11:59We have to go. We have to go. No, no, no. Come on. Who is that?
12:02I don't think so. Are you sure she looks really familiar?
12:09Nope. It's not someone I know. You two!
12:17Excuse me.
12:23Are you...
12:26Vice principal Mason, thank goodness.
12:28Have I got a dark tongue twister for you. The guidance counselor's got gout again.
12:32I know. So I'm gonna need your help today.
12:34Mm-hmm.
12:36Hi, girls.
12:38Something...
12:39Right?
12:42I'm fine. I'm...
12:45The vice principal.
12:47You sure are.
12:48And I don't want you girls to worry. Miss Masterson's gonna be just fine.
12:51It's not gonna be fine.
12:52Took her whole leg.
12:53Toed a tutor.
12:55So our school doesn't actually have a vice principal, right?
12:57No.
12:58And did you see principal neighbor's eyes do that thing when she looked at her?
13:01Yeah.
13:02Almost like she's some futuristic woman specifically here in disguise to come and get us.
13:07Shall we go see how bad this probably is?
13:09Lead the way.
13:10I will.
13:13Slow and steady, Steven.
13:16A rush job is just a race to last place.
13:20Steiner!
13:22And there goes the quantum processor.
13:24What?
13:25Nothing, Major.
13:26Um, we were just thinking about some fun stuff. Casual stuff. Um, hypotheticals.
13:32What would happen if a mom sent a dad? Like, what would they do? What would they look like?
13:37Well, they would probably beam in under some absurd cover, try to catch you causing an anomaly.
13:44Then you'd be detained, tried, and sent to detention.
13:47Detention. Not bad.
13:49But, of course, detention in this context is something much different than...
13:53Okay, you are used to. Yeah, they get it. I was very clear.
13:58They understand the rules.
14:00We all, uh, understand the rules.
14:05The rules are the rules.
14:12Okay, so there might be a dad here, but it's not actually that bad.
14:15Yeah, detention. We spent like half the year in detention.
14:18Plus, Schneider said they actually have to catch us causing an anomaly, which isn't gonna happen,
14:21because we've sworn off music for the rest of the day.
14:24And...
14:25Advice.
14:26Ain't ever did nothing.
14:27So, we get it.
14:28We're so good!
14:30Ah!
14:32Oh, my God!
14:35Emile, a pillowcase?
14:36Seriously?
14:37You couldn't have just said,
14:38Hey, come to the basement, please?
14:40You psychopath.
14:42At least you got a pillowcase.
14:43I got a disgusting backpack.
14:45Sorry.
14:46Ah!
14:47We didn't know how else to smuggle you into our secret hideout.
14:49Smells disgusting in there.
14:51What do you have in there, Joyce? A compost?
14:53We heard you doing muzzik in the bathroom earlier.
14:56Yeah, that whole anomaly thing is really crystallizing for me right now.
15:06Yeah, me too.
15:08So, tell us about the muzzik.
15:10Okay.
15:11Cannot stress this enough.
15:12It's pronounced music.
15:13And you should probably just forget about that.
15:16But how could we forget something that's so beautiful?
15:20Go on.
15:22We wanted to show you our special place where we all come to learn about muzzik.
15:33Yeah.
15:34I don't know why that's so hard, but okay.
15:36He's got something special.
15:37That one.
15:38And until we heard you doing real muzzik,
15:41we could only guess what it was from these cave paintings we found.
15:46Hmm?
15:47Cave paintings.
15:48Okay.
15:49Caveisa.
15:50Sure.
15:51Clearly, there was music in the ancient times,
15:54but the adults now won't even talk about it.
15:56We long to be unrestrained like our ancestors.
16:01Yeah.
16:04They look like they were having fun.
16:09And we've been gathering these mysterious relics.
16:12We don't know what they are or what they do,
16:13but we're certain they have something to do with muzzik.
16:17What?
16:18Music.
16:19Tomato, tomato.
16:20Okay.
16:21Well, that's a tape player.
16:22It's an obsolete technology for playing music.
16:24Wow.
16:25Yep.
16:26And this right here is a triangle,
16:27and that right there is a kazoo,
16:29and they're both musical instruments,
16:30and you can actually blow into that one.
16:32Blow.
16:33That's right.
16:34Wow.
16:35It's beautiful.
16:36Yeah.
16:37Mm-hmm.
16:38Whoa.
16:39I love it.
16:40Okay.
16:41Well, this has been hilarious, but, um...
16:55We actually have, uh...
16:56That thing.
16:57We have that thing.
16:58Ah!
16:59Wait!
17:00You have to teach us how to make music like you.
17:02Davey, I'll die if I don't hear you make those mouth sounds again.
17:08Full disclosure, I'm gonna have to immediately give in to that.
17:10Yes, fully get it.
17:11But if we teach them how to make music, like good music the way that we do it,
17:13would probably cause an even bigger anomaly.
17:14And increase our chances of being caught by that dad lady
17:16who's already here and clearly onto us.
17:17Plus, the portal's almost ready,
17:18so if we wait, like, ten minutes,
17:19we can just get away scot-free.
17:20Yeah.
17:21On the other hand...
17:22I mean, everyone deserves to sing their...
17:23True heart song!
17:26But...
17:27it has to be a secret.
17:34That's better.
17:49That's good.
17:51It was down in Louisiana right there in New Orleans
18:08Back there in the 60s was a little teen queen
18:11Fell then a lousy in love with a lad
18:14Till it took him to vindicate the feelings she had
18:17She pleaded as she promised every prayer she could
18:20Till everybody whispered to her lady be good
18:25What is this?
18:27Your body is changing
18:35Oh, girl, I am having a day
18:38It's official. I'm paying Dean alimony
18:41Can you believe that SOB?
18:50Don't let go
18:51Don't let go
18:52Don't let go
18:53Don't let go
18:59Whoo!
19:00Whoo!
19:05Ahem. Vice Principal Mason.
19:07What?
19:08I have some information that you might want to know about Davey and Jonesy
19:12Earlier today, I heard them singing music
19:17Is this what they were singing? It was
19:26Oh my God
19:28I don't think they understand
19:30Oh my God
19:31Oh my God
19:32Lots of progress, Davey
19:34Thanks for having a blessing
19:35See you guys later
19:36See you tomorrow, okay?
19:40Davey
19:41I know you've caused an anomaly
19:42And the reason I know that
19:43Is there is a dad here
19:45And not just any dad
19:46Cheryl
19:49You... I hear nothing
19:50Dude, calm down
19:51We get detention so much
19:52We keep snacks there
19:53It's no big deal
19:54No, this is not regular detention
19:56This is a detention dimension
19:58Where, depending on your crimes
19:59You could be trapped
20:00For thousands of years
20:01In the 10th grade
20:02What?
20:03Yeah, and you think that's bad?
20:04I could be sent to grandma's
20:06Wait, your grandma is involved in this?
20:08No, not my grandma
20:10Gran... G-R-A-N-D-M-A
20:12A.K.A. Genetically Restructured as a Nautically Diminished Molecular Abnormal
20:16A.K.A. Turned into a sea cucumber
20:18A.K.A. An animal with no brain
20:21Oh my God
20:23Imagine me with no brain
20:24Okay, why didn't you tell us this earlier?
20:26Because then maybe
20:27We wouldn't have taught them music
20:28You taught them music!
20:29It was our responsibility
20:31As people with souls
20:32Yes, yes, okay?
20:34Come on, Mr. S.
20:35I mean, deep down
20:37You must have a true heart song
20:38That reminds you of yourself
20:40That can pull you out
20:41Of even your deepest, darkest moments
20:43Davian Jonesy, please report to the Vice Principal's Office
20:49Now
20:50Okay, you have to go now
20:51The portal's online
20:52Let's go, go, go, go
20:53I was told to escort you to Miss Mason's office
20:56Personally
20:57In my capacity as Vice President
20:59A vice that you never did know that?
21:01Yeah, so of course
21:02That's a totally normal thing
21:04That would happen if this was a regular
21:05Yes, so I'm just gonna tell them something real quick that a teacher would say
21:08So, excuse us
21:10Don't admit to anything
21:12Cheryl cannot detain you
21:13If she can't prove you're not the Davian Jonesy of this world
21:16And she can't risk revealing her true identity
21:18Lest she cause an anomaly herself
21:19So just play dumb, okay?
21:23Is that an okay?
21:24Yes, I was acting dumb
21:25That's what I was doing
21:26That's very good
21:27And the Oscar goes, too
21:29Thank you
21:30Thank you so much, I was really digging deep there
21:32She's waiting, she's waiting
21:33It's right this way
21:34Where are we off to?
21:35Off we up, you know?
21:37Show us the way
21:38Yep, I'm sweating
21:53Davy Jonesy
21:55I hear you've been making... music
22:00What's muzic?
22:03Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the well-played.
22:22Okay.
22:26I feel like we got off on the wrong foot here.
22:29So if we could talk, um, woman to woman, that'd be great.
22:36Say we do know what you're talking about.
22:38Say we don't.
22:40Say we do.
22:41Say we don't.
22:43Say that we do.
22:44If we do and if we did, then you would understand that we're just victims here, right?
22:50I mean, we were fun-loving BFFs, and we're just trying to follow our one true heart,
22:56which, ah, girl boss, you get it.
23:00She-E-O.
23:03Yeah.
23:05Okay, let's talk woman to woman.
23:14I used to work on an elite delinquent acquisition task force.
23:19I brought down the biggest criminals in the multiverse.
23:22I wasn't just good at my job.
23:24I was the best.
23:28But after being betrayed by a former friend, I was demoted and sent to the juvenile department
23:33to rot until I closed 100,000 cases.
23:40And you are my last case.
23:43I do not believe in the power of friendship.
23:46I do not care about your hearts.
23:49All I care about is ending the nightmare that my life has become.
23:55So, cooperate with me now, and I'm willing to commute your sentence.
24:00A short stint in detention, then you can return home, and I can return to where I belong.
24:06Everyone's happy.
24:09But stand in my way, and I will destroy you.
24:14And not just with detention.
24:17I will recommend to mom that your memories of each other be erased.
24:23So that when you finally do go back to 6-6-8-9, your days of being a couple fun-loving DFFs
24:30will be over.
24:32Permanently.
24:34Holy .
24:37Now she is good at explaining things.
24:40Well, okay.
24:41Clearly the juvenile department has not mailed her out at all.
24:44I need to do something.
24:46Everybody on the floor!
24:48No.
24:49No.
24:50I need a distraction.
24:59Doesn't your soul ever cry out to sing your one true heart song?
25:07It's great.
25:08It's all our fault.
25:09I can't believe our insatiable thirst for Muzzick got Davian Jones into trouble.
25:14How do we help?
25:15with more muzzet.
25:17I mean, I mean music.
25:19What did I say? Forget it.
25:21Can't believe I'm gonna say this, but
25:23Davy and Jonesy were right.
25:25Music does have the power to pull you
25:27out of your darkest moments.
25:29Davy and Jonesy need you to
25:31sing your
25:33true heart's song.
25:45Okay, great. Well, that's not even registering
25:47as music, so luckily
25:49I have a plan B. Why don't you try
25:51my true heart's song?
26:01Now you just push this button
26:03and you play it over the PA system.
26:05There's one in my lab, okay? Hurry.
26:07Quickly.
26:09But sir, what'll happen
26:11when everyone hears the music?
26:13Will we get in trouble?
26:15Oh, yes.
26:19Almost definitely.
26:25Sorry, I'm famously bad at
26:27reassuring children, so off you go.
26:29Go!
26:33This is your last chance.
26:35Confess now
26:37and it'll be a slap on the wrist.
26:39But drag this out
26:41and I will make you
26:43regret it.
26:49This is for Davy and Jonesy.
26:51We call it a true heart song.
26:53I'm Scatman!
26:55I'm Scatman!
26:59I'm Scatman!
27:09Oh God.
27:11I'm Scatman!
27:13Well, it seems your friend's weird little stunt
27:15had absolutely no payoff.
27:17Except to prove your guilty.
27:19So, without further ado...
27:21I'm Scatman!
27:27I'm Scatman!
27:29Ah!
27:30Is that a werewolf?
27:31Is that a werewolf?
27:33Is that a werewolf?
27:35As a matter of fact, don't let me not hold your pants as a scat man can be a girl, so he can, I'm a scat man.
28:05Help!
28:06Help!
28:07Help!
28:09Help!
28:10Help!
28:11Help!
28:12Help!
28:13Help!
28:14Help!
28:15Help!
28:16Help!
28:17Help!
28:18Hey, hey, hey!
28:19Is season from Britain in this world because it turns adults into werewolves?
28:22Did you help our friends play the song as a diversion to save us?
28:26No.
28:27Is this your one true heart song?
28:28And if so, why?
28:30But if you knew about the werewolves, then why didn't you tell us these are the things that
28:34What is that?
28:36Goal!
28:38I'm a scap man!
28:40Oh!
28:42I'm a scap man!
28:44Oh!
28:46I'm a scap man!
28:48Oh!
28:50I'm a scap man!
28:52If you're so can you, I'm a scap man!
28:54Oh! Hey Cheryl!
28:58How'd it go? Yikes!
29:00Did you catch them?
29:04No.
29:06But I will.
29:08Because I'm not about to let two teenagers destroy everything I've worked for.
29:16They can't run forever.
29:20And when their luck runs out, I will be there.
29:24That's the spirit, girl!
29:28Gluten-free snickerdoodle?
29:34Wee ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
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