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  • 9 hours ago
Trey Knowles’ The American Esau is a funny stand-up piece in which Trey travels to Arkansas to visit his friend Esau—a redheaded lawyer who loves guns and blowing things up. Esau takes Trey hunting to introduce him to his way of life, proudly showing off his passion for destruction. As the trip unfolds, Trey tries to understand why Esau kills animals he has no intention of eating. The mystery deepens when Trey reveals that Esau once possessed a special birthright—the Book of Truth—but traded it away for a gun so he could continue destroying things.

Category

😹
Fun
Transcript
00:00I'm in Arkansas. I'm in Arkansas hanging with my friend Esau. Esau is a lawyer. He's a very, very hairy, redhead guy. Very cool dude. Very cool dude. His hobbies is collecting guns and hunting.
00:18And so I'm at his house, we're in the basement, and he has all these guns. Man, he has all these guns, man. He has enough guns that you think we're going to face World War III, right? He has enough for World War III.
00:34And so, Esau, what gun are we going to use? All right. I'm going to go hunting. Oh, okay. He said we're hunting with these rifle guns. These old rifle guns look like we're about to fight in the Civil War, right? Like these old guns, Civil War guns that is older than my mama and my grandma, right? 1800s rifle guns, right?
01:01And so we're going hunting. I'm in his truck. He's driving us. We're going to this camp out in the woods, and we're going hunting. Esau, before we go hunting, I need to stop at Walmart.
01:17And so I go to Walmart. I said, Esau, come on with me to the store, Walmart. We're going to look for some meat. He said, look for some meat. Yeah. I want you to find me some deer meat. All right. Look around and find me some deer meat.
01:29He couldn't find not one deer meat in Walmart. I'm like, okay. Okay. There's another store a couple blocks from here, Kroger. So we go to Kroger. I'm like, Esau, find me some deer meat, right? He's in Kroger in the meat department looking for deer meat. Couldn't find out deer meat. No deer meat at all.
01:53And I'm like, Esau, man, you shoot deer, right? He said, I shoot deer, right? All right. So all these people that are shooting deer, why there ain't no deer meat in the store? What are you doing with the deer meat?
02:06All right. Esau didn't have an answer for it. He didn't have an answer for it. And Esau's like, let's just go. I'm ready to go hunting. All right. I want to look out for no deer meat. All right. You want some deer meat? I give you some deer meat.
02:23So we go hunting in the woods with our 1,800 rifles, right? Rifles made in the 1,800s. He had all these sophisticated weapons at his house, but we're using these rifles made in the 1,800s.
02:36And so Esau saw some deer. And Esau is about to shoot this deer. And I'm looking at this deer like it's very precious, right? And I'm about to feel like I'm going to throw up. Like, please don't shoot that deer.
02:53Please don't shoot that deer. He's like, Trey, be quiet, right? I know you like meat because you love chicken. And I'm like, that's different. That's different. You know, we have, there's butchers. There's, there's, there's, there's people that grow farmland.
03:07There's people that have cattle and they have cattle and they sell that meat to the store so people like us can eat it, right? You shooting this deer. God made this deer. He has life like me, like me and you do. And you're about to shoot them for nothing.
03:25Are you not even hungry for deer? So he shot the deer right in the heart. And he started jumping up and down. He's like, yes, I got him right in the heart.
03:37And so we're walking to the, we're walking, walking up towards the deer. The deer is moving and moving and shaking everything. He ain't completely dead yet, right?
03:47He's about to take his last breath. Before he takes his last breath, Esau, shoot him again. I'm like, Esau, you didn't have to do that.
03:58Well, he ain't completely dead. So I'm like, what now? What do you do now? I'm going to put them in a truck. And then you're going to eat them? He's like, no, I don't eat no deer.
04:09Oh, you're going to feed the homeless. That's great. That's great of you. You're going to feed the homeless. We don't feed the homeless deer.
04:15So what are you going to do with it? I have deer heads. I collect deer heads.
04:22So you mean to tell me all the shooting deer, all the shooting animals is for your collection, for a sport, for your enjoyment?
04:34That is sick. That is sick. You take something that is alive, that has breath.
04:42God gives it breath. And you're not going to eat it, but you're going to kill it for nothing?
04:51Can you explain that to me, Esau?
04:56It's a sport. It's a sport. But it's destruction. It's a destruction. What kind of sport is that?
05:02It's just you shoot things you're not going to eat for destruction.
05:05I don't get it. I don't get it. So I'm like, Esau, take me back home.
05:14And so Esau, we only went back to Esau's house, and we get pulled over by the police officer.
05:22Esau has his rifle in the front seat of his truck, and it's loaded.
05:30And the police officer, a very nice guy, and he says, is that rifle loaded?
05:38Esau's very honest. He says, yes, the rifle's loaded.
05:43And the police officer said, I'm going to have to take your rifle.
05:46But I noticed there's the original King James Bible right there.
05:54Can I see that King James Bible?
05:56So Esau handed the police officer his King James Bible.
06:03He had the original King James Bible, right?
06:07I mean, the guy's King James Bible, it was one of a kind.
06:12His father gave it to him, right?
06:15His father gave it to him.
06:18And so the police officer looked at his King James Bible.
06:22He said, this is the one of a kind.
06:24And Esau says, my father gave it to me.
06:26That's my birthright.
06:30And the police officer said, I see this Bible's very special.
06:34How about we do a trade?
06:38I don't take your guns, but you let me have your Bible.
06:41Esau got all happy.
06:43He says, that's a good trade.
06:45I love my guns.
06:46You can have that Bible.
06:48And I looked at Esau.
06:49I'm like, you just sold your birthright.
06:52You just sold your birthright.
06:54And Esau looked at me and he says, nobody is going to take my guns away.
07:02Nobody.
07:02Nobody.
07:02I love you.
07:20You.
07:23Yeah.
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