I didn't want the woman I'd taken from that doctor to feel miserable—that, at the very least, I wanted to avoid.

#nana56b


Synopsis

Fifteen winters ago, the streets of Shinjuku seemed
much colder than they do now—and shone with a
cruelty that was almost blinding.

Back then, the girl I had feelings for already had a
steady boyfriend. He was a young doctor with a
promising future. As for me, I was just a low-paid
office worker whose very next day was uncertain. If
we were to compare our circumstances, there was no
way I stood a chance. Yet every time I saw her
profile, an indescribable feeling—something like
“destiny”—throbbed deep within my chest and would
not let go.

That night, we sipped drinks until late at a jazz
bar tucked away in a corner of Shinjuku. Whether it
was the alcohol or the winter chill, her eyes seemed
a little more moist than usual.

“I have to go now. I’ll miss the last train.”

I had no right to stop her as she stood up and said
that. Amid the hustle and bustle of Shinjuku Station,
I headed toward the platform to see her home. The
boundary between the everyday life she was meant to
live and the extraordinary life I longed for.

As we stepped onto the platform, the local train
bound for Nagano, scheduled to depart at 11:55 p.m.,
glided in.
It was a rugged Series 115 train, painted blue with
a cream-colored stripe. The air was thick with the
rumbling sound of its motors and a somewhat
nostalgic smell of oil.

In that instant, all my rationality flew out the
window.
I gripped her hand tightly and, unbelievably, pulled
her onto the train.

“…Huh?”

Leaving her behind, her eyes wide with surprise, the
doors closed with a heavy thud.

There was no turning back now. The neon lights of
Shinjuku receded into the distance as the train
accelerated into the pitch-black darkness.

In the poorly heated car, she shivered slightly. I
took off my coat and gently draped it over her knees.
Sitting shoulder to shoulder in the cramped
compartment, we said nothing.

We passed Takao and then Hachioji. With every stop,
her chances of getting home faded away. Ōtsuki,
Enzan, and then Kōfu. Each time a station name was
announced, my heart grew stiff with fear—and a
resolve that outweighed it.

“I wonder what’s going to happen to me…”

Her voice trembled as she muttered those words, but
there was no hint of refusal. All I could do was
clasp her cold hand tightly.

As dawn broke, the train arrived at Matsumoto
Station.
Blown by the freezing wind of the Northern Alps, we
slurped down a bowl of hot soba in front of the
station. The steam from the broth seeped into our
bodies, weary from staying up all night.

From there, we headed straight to a department store
that had just opened. It was the best I could afford
right now. In a corner that was hardly worthy of
being called a jewelry store, I chose the cheapest
silver ring.

“Where are you going to put it?”

She asked, looking puzzled. I answered without
hesitation.

“On your left ring …