Change Starts With One Decision | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 40) - video Dailymotion

Lerin Gaines

Change Starts With One Decision | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 40)  Featuring: Transformational Tuesday, Mentorship Series  Tuesday | July 21st, 2026  Broadcasting on all social media platforms @LERINGAINES  https://leringaines.com https://linktr.ee/leringaines https://www.facebook.com/leringaines http://instagram.com/leringaines https://www.tiktok.com/@leringaines http://twitter.com/leringaines https://www.youtube.com/@leringaines https://www.twitch.tv/leringaines https://kick.com/leringaines https://dailymotion.com/LerinGaines  Song of The Day: "Changes I've Been Going Through" by Mary J. Blige Released 1992 | What's The 411?  Burning Questions for Reflections! What's one habit you could change today that would improve both your physical well-being and your financial future?  Share your response to tonight's Burning Questions... Text: (609) 200-1098 | Email: Info@LerinGaines.com  DM on any social media platform @LERINGAINES (Facebook, Instagram, X, TikTok, YouTube, KICK, Twitch, DailyMotion)  Sign up for my FREE Monthly Newsletter 'Whispers of Wisdom' for updates, exclusives, and inspiration!  Subscribe now at LerinGaines.com  #Facebook #Instagram #TikTok #X #YouTube #KICK #Twitch #DailyMotion #DebtFreeLiving #FinancialCoach #LerinGaines #411Podcast #BurningQuestions #BlackDiamondConsultations #VacationWithMe #WhispersofWisdom #DISC6 #Vitality  DISCLAIMER: The content and information provided by Black Diamond Consultations are intended solely for educational and entertainment purposes. We do not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the materials, and any reliance you place on them is strictly at your own risk. Our content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or judgment. Black Diamond Consultations shall not be liable for any errors or omissions in the educational and entertainment content or for any actions taken based on the information provided.  411 PODCAST DISC 6: Vitality Track 40: Change Starts With One Decision ©️ 2026 Black Diamond Consultations Network LerinGaines.com

Transcript

00:00Thank you so much for watching.

03:00This is your sanctuary for self-discovery, healing, and personal growth.

03:05Here, we explore what it means to live debt-free, not just financially, but spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

03:14Every episode is part of a journey across our weekly mentorship series, Spiritual Sundays, Mental Mondays, Transformational Tuesdays, Wisdom Wednesdays,

03:24Coaching Sessions Thursdays, and Financial Fridays.

03:27Each day holds space for wisdom, clarity, and real conversations.

03:32We want you to join in on the conversations with us.

03:36We are broadcasting live on Facebook, YouTube, Kick, Twitch, X, and Dailymotion.

03:50Text your thoughts anytime to our official hotline at 609-200-1098.

03:57So, grab your journal, open your mind, and prepare to go beyond the surface.

04:02Here, we don't just talk, we transform lives.

04:05And now, here's your guide through it all, entrepreneur, mentor, and financial coach, Laren Gaines.

04:23What's going on, everybody?

04:25Welcome, welcome, welcome on in to another episode of the 4-on-1 Podcast.

04:31We are on episode 40, and we're going to talk about some changes today.

04:36Anyway, change starts with one decision, but before you actually make that official change, there are some changes that start

04:47to happen within.

04:49So, we're going to talk about change, but I want you to remember, change starts with one decision, and there

04:56are also changes that start to happen internally before they show up in the real world.

05:03So, before we get into this, of course, I want to say thank you all so much for joining in.

05:08Thank you for supporting the 4-on-1 Podcast.

05:10We are going on six years, and I have to say thank you so much.

05:13I most certainly cannot do this without each and every one of you out there liking, sharing, subscribing, watching, viewing,

05:21tagging, you know, whatever you do.

05:23I definitely do appreciate you.

05:25Please continue to hit that like button.

05:27Please continue to share.

05:29Sharing is caring.

05:32I want to say what's up to SOS.

05:35Say what's up to Birdman313.

05:38Say what's up to Linda Brand.

05:40Thank you so much for joining.

05:41Thank you, Dr. Torrey, for joining this week.

05:44We have so many great episodes lined up this week, so continue to hit that reminder.

05:51Set your alarms.

05:53Do whatever you need to do.

05:55Tune in.

05:56We'll be here again tomorrow, 5 a.m.

05:58Good morning to those of you out there who are rocking with me first thing in the morning.

06:02What's up to people out there on Facebook?

06:04What's up to Daily Motion?

06:07Thank you all.

06:07I really do appreciate you, but before we move on, I most certainly cannot do any of this, and I

06:14would not be here without my executive producer.

06:17I want to thank God for giving me another opportunity to come out here and connect, grow, and give you

06:24all the 4-in-1 podcasts.

06:25So we are here, we're up, we're live, and we're ready to go ahead and do this.

06:31We're going to talk about these changes.

06:34Thank you all so much for joining.

06:46So now, I have to say it.

06:49I just have to say it.

06:50I'm in Vegas.

06:51I'm excited to be back here in Vegas doing things in a totally different way.

06:58I've been here several times before, but this time is exactly what I wanted, and I'm here.

07:03I'm here to celebrate my life.

07:07I'm here to celebrate the Mary J. Blige residency, my life, my story, and I'm going to experience it tonight.

07:17So, of course, I'm going to let you know tomorrow how it went tonight.

07:22I've said it before, Mary J. Blige, her music is the soundtrack of my life, and not just one record.

07:32I'm talking about every single album, and I can spend hours here talking about the different breakthroughs, the different scenarios,

07:40the different ups and downs and things that I went,

07:42the symbolism between the different albums and where I was in my life and my career, all types of things.

07:50There has never been a song or an album that Mary J. Blige did not come out with that impacted

07:58my life in any type of way.

08:00And maybe it wasn't exactly when the album came out, but as I continue to go through ups and downs,

08:06trials and tribulations, and experience life,

08:08I could always go back to a record and say, wow, I didn't even know that this was already written

08:14for me, but I'm going to use this as a tool to help me get through.

08:18So, shout out to the Queen of Hip Hop Soul. I'm excited. I'm ready for it tonight.

08:25So, who knew? And I manifested this way before it was even announced to the public.

08:31I started in November of 25. I said, I want to come back to Vegas. I want to come back

08:36to Vegas.

08:36I love the heat. I love the atmosphere. I love the energy. I'm going to come back here and I

08:41want to do it my way.

08:43Because every time I've come to Vegas in the past, it's always been on somebody else's agenda.

08:47But I said, let's do it Laren's way this time.

08:50So, I started in November. And then what do you know?

08:54January, Mary announces that she's going to have a residency here in Vegas.

08:59So, I said, it's a no-brainer. I'm definitely going now. No-brainer.

09:03That must have been the sign that I needed to get here.

09:07And I'm going to get into the song of the day.

09:09This is more than just coming out here for the Mary J. Blythe residency.

09:13This was for me to disconnect from the matrix.

09:15This was for me to rest, relax, recharge, and to rethink, and to go back in with a different strategy.

09:21Because we're not playing.

09:24I got so many opportunities. I see the future.

09:27I have so many blessings and so many things that I can't even say that are coming in the future.

09:33And it's times like this. It's situations like this.

09:38This is why it's good to disconnect. This is why it's good to unplug.

09:41This is why it's good to unwind.

09:43This is why it's good to get away from your normal, everyday, regular routine journey so that you can sit

09:48and think.

09:49Because the enemy's job is to keep us stuck.

09:53And how the enemy keeps us stuck is by keeping us overwhelmed, stressed out, overworked.

09:59I mean, the list goes on and on, and I can continue to go on.

10:02But I'm going to just fall back for a little bit.

10:05Let's get into the song of the day.

10:19Song of the day.

10:21Changes I've been going through.

10:24Mary J. Blige, 1992, off of the What's the 4-in-1 album.

10:29I'm going to ease into this.

10:32Changes I've been going through is so dope.

10:35First of all, the beat is just, the sample is just a monster.

10:42First of all, right there.

10:44It had me hooked right there.

10:47But then the way that Mary's voice just, you know, captivates the record, rides the beat.

10:56It's a monster, no matter what.

11:00So when I think of the changes I've been going through, changes I've been going through, Mary is speaking about

11:06her wanting to be with somebody else.

11:09And the other person doesn't want to be with her.

11:12And because of that, there's so many different changes that she's going through.

11:16So, you know, we remix it and we flip it differently here on the 4-in-1.

11:22So it's the changes that I've been going through.

11:26Because I know deep down inside that I need to rise to a higher occasion.

11:30So I don't know who I'm speaking to.

11:32I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

11:33But are you going through something internally because you have been called for a higher purpose?

11:39So I came out with Vitality.

11:43I named this Vitality.

11:45And I knew that there was some responsibility with it because that's life force.

11:50That's life changing.

11:51That title, that name Vitality means a lot.

11:55And at that moment, I was prepared.

11:58In January, I was prepared.

11:59I said, okay, I know what we're going to go into.

12:01I know what I can do and I know what I can't do.

12:04But let's just go in with it.

12:05So as I started to go in with it, living up to the values of Vitality, taking care of my

12:12life better than what I've ever done before, there are some obstacles that came.

12:19There are some challenges that came.

12:22As you all see, there's a different look that we have.

12:25We have a different appearance now.

12:27I went through a rebranding process.

12:29I went through a restructuring process with how we do things with Black Diamond Consultations and how I do things

12:35here on a podcast.

12:36That wasn't easy.

12:38And it was part of the process and it's part of the change because there have been some changes that

12:43I've been going through behind the scenes.

12:45There are some changes that I've been going through that I have to get through in order to be a

12:50better financial coach, in order to be a better mentor, in order to be a better speaker, in order to

12:56be a better facilitator.

12:58There are some changes that I had to go through.

13:00And I'm still going through these changes because I've been called to become the highest version of myself.

13:09I noticed this about three years ago when I titled it Evolution.

13:15This three, Evolution, I knew that we're evolving into something different.

13:22And then this five, Restoration, I had to go back and I had to repair and I had to restore

13:29and I had to clean up some things from all of the reckless behavior that I put and all of

13:36the reckless things and energy that I put into the environment between season one and season two.

13:45So after I learned my lesson, after I've gone through it, you know, I stamped vitality on it and I

13:53said, we're just going to go through and continue to do it like we did, you know, the past seasons.

13:58But it doesn't work that way because internally I have been challenged to rise to the occasion.

14:11The name is different.

14:13I dropped the Reading Between the Wines.

14:18No longer doing that anymore.

14:19It's just a 4-in-1 podcast.

14:21I was even going to sample my last bottle of wine this week, but no need.

14:29We've already made the announcement that it's just titled the 4-in-1 podcast, No Longer Reading Between the Wines.

14:35No need to go back.

14:37We've already done that.

14:38We've sampled our last bottle.

14:39We've moved on.

14:40That season, that chapter is over.

14:43So now it's strictly the 4-in-1 podcast.

14:45These are the changes that I've been going through.

14:48And now it's here showing up in reality because I dealt with some of those changes.

14:55I stopped that conflict going back and forth.

14:58So I've realized that I can't please everybody and I'm not for everybody.

15:02And this podcast is not for everybody.

15:04I noticed that it does look quite different.

15:06Not only the appearance, but some people have left.

15:09And then in reality, the best thing that's happened is that I've had new people joined.

15:15More international recognition in other countries besides the United States.

15:21So I have to be thankful for that as well.

15:25Changes that I've been going through because I'm looking forward to this breakthrough.

15:34Changes that I've been going through by my girl, Mary J. Blige, released in 1992 off of the What's the

15:414-in-1 album.

15:43We here, we live, we in Vegas, ready for this residency.

15:48And you know that this is a moment for me.

15:52All of the people who know me, you know how much I love Mary J. Blige.

15:55You know that this is a moment.

15:58And I'm thankful to be here.

16:10Now, I'm going to spend some time talking about changes.

16:15You know, it starts with one decision.

16:18I'm going to spend some time.

16:19I'm not going to keep y'all long, but I do have to go there.

16:24And a lot of people have requested, Laren, we truly want you to, you know,

16:29dig in and have one of these, you know, remix sessions where you just go in and you just speak.

16:34And it's just me and you today.

16:36So that's exactly what you're going to get.

16:38And I'm going to give you a little bit of my background, my story for the people who are coming

16:44around and checking me out for the first time.

16:46I want to say thank you.

16:48But for those of you who have listened to me for a while and who have been with me and

16:52understand and know what the journey is,

16:55you know that there's been some stuff.

16:56Dr. Torrey says, you know, tell more people you.

17:00I know you've been through some things and absolutely.

17:04And sometimes you've got to burn it all down.

17:07That change started when I decided to burn it all down.

17:11I burned it down to the ground so I couldn't get any lower.

17:14I had hit my financial rock bottom in 2020.

17:19I saw the storm coming and I said, this don't look good.

17:23I've been faking a funk.

17:24I've been lying.

17:25I've been swiping credit cards.

17:27I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul for all of these years, making it look good.

17:31The cars, the clothes, the jewelry, the relationships, all of those things.

17:35The vacations, trying to do them.

17:38What do they say?

17:39Y'all know.

17:40Doing the most.

17:42People pleasing, looking for validation, seeking outside, all of that stuff.

17:47And I saw the storm coming.

17:49In 2020, I saw the storm coming.

17:51And I said, Laren, and I remember someone on TV saying the pandemic, all of this stuff,

17:56the world's going crazy.

17:58People have lost their mind.

17:59He says there's going to be two types of people.

18:01He says there are people that are going to go with the regular routine journey and are

18:05going to get caught up and it's going to mean nothing to them.

18:10This is just, you know, an event that's happening.

18:12And then they said there is another group of people that are going to wake up and their

18:17life is going to change.

18:18So even though all hell broke loose, everything was going crazy, everything was shut down.

18:24There's going to be two types of people, people that this just doesn't phase them.

18:28And they're going to go along with the routine.

18:30When the world opens back up again, they're still going to make the same, you know, silly

18:34mistakes over and over again.

18:36But there is a small group of people that are going to change their life.

18:40This situation here, this joint right here, it's going to make them a different person.

18:46And they're going to be able to soar and they're going to be able to rise above the occasion.

18:51And in that moment when I was stuck in fear, when I was watching the news and I just didn't

18:56know what to do, was afraid to leave the house, this, that, the next, the other, I made a mental

19:00decision.

19:01And I said, you know what?

19:02I want to be a part of that group.

19:04I want to be a part of that changing group that does something different because this life

19:08that I have created for myself right here, I'm done with it.

19:13I'm sick of it.

19:14I don't want any more of this.

19:16I don't want the debt.

19:17I don't want the repossessions.

19:19I don't want the almost going into foreclosure.

19:22I don't want any of that anymore.

19:24I need to, I need to confess.

19:26I need to keep it real with myself and I need to connect with my higher power and give it

19:32all

19:32to him and start having him give me the wisdom to make these better decisions.

19:38asking him, seeking, knocking, praying, asking for guidance, asking for the wisdom so that

19:46I can come out here in this real world and make better decisions.

19:50Because what I've done so far is not going to get me where I need to get to.

19:57Finances were a mess.

19:58The people around me, their finances were a mess.

20:02Nobody was able to help me.

20:05I'll repeat that.

20:06Nobody was able to help me.

20:08Now, God allowed family members to extend and make an extension and pull me in and scoop

20:17me up off the ground because that's where I was.

20:19I had hit my financial rock bottom.

20:22And I'm thankful for that.

20:25But had I stayed in the situation that I was, I wouldn't be where I'm at here today.

20:32If I had stayed doing the same simple things, making the same mistakes, hanging around the

20:40same people, I would not be where I'm at here today.

20:45And quite honestly, I believe that if I had stayed in that situation and did not make some

20:51changes, both spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially, that I would be six feet under.

20:59And it started with that one decision.

21:02And that one decision, when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, I'll repeat that

21:06again.

21:06When I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, when I hit my financial rock bottom,

21:11I got so low that it couldn't get any lower.

21:14I was already on the ground and I could not get any lower.

21:17And I absolutely had enough.

21:19I said, I got to do something different.

21:21And I had to fight for my life.

21:22And I had to get up and I had to take responsibility for my life.

21:26And that was one of the big changing, the game changers there.

21:29We want to talk about changes that I've been going through.

21:32Big change.

21:33Change starts with one decision.

21:34I had to get up and I had to take responsibility for my life.

21:38I had to take responsibility for all of the BS that I created.

21:43And that was in 2020.

21:452020, I really didn't start to understand what was really going on until 2022 when I really

21:53decided to say, you know what?

21:55All of the stuff that I've been through.

21:58I got something coming for y'all.

22:00It's titled, after all the shit that I've been through.

22:02After all the shit that I've been through.

22:04Guess what?

22:06And this is where it comes with taking responsibility.

22:08After all of the shit that I've been through in my life, I can't blame anybody.

22:13This is when I really started to get it.

22:15When a transformation started.

22:17When I realized that I couldn't blame anybody except for me.

22:20I had to take responsibility.

22:22So for those of you out there, this is Transformational Tuesday.

22:25We going in.

22:26You have to take some responsibility for your situation.

22:29Look at your life right now.

22:31Look at where you're at right now.

22:32I don't know who I'm speaking to.

22:33I'm only speaking from real life experiences, but I'm so thankful that I made the decision

22:39to take responsibility for my life and own up to my mistakes and stop pointing fingers

22:45and stop blaming people because that's when the true breakthrough happened.

22:48It didn't happen overnight.

22:49I just started to say, you know what?

22:51It's not her problem.

22:53She didn't do it to me.

22:54I did it.

22:54I allowed her to come into my environment.

22:56He didn't do it.

22:58I allowed him to come into my environment.

23:01They didn't do it.

23:02I didn't have to sign up for that.

23:03I didn't have to go over there.

23:04I didn't have to say that I'm going to go to this party and I'm going to go to this

23:08situation

23:09and I'm going to allow you to keep showing up on my doorstep whenever you want to.

23:14No.

23:15They didn't do it.

23:16He didn't do it.

23:17She didn't do it.

23:18That job didn't do it.

23:19That boss didn't do it.

23:20I did it.

23:21I didn't have to reveal as much information as I did.

23:24I didn't have to open up as much as I did.

23:26I didn't have to tell you every little single thing about my life like I used to do.

23:31I did that.

23:31I had to get up and take responsibility for myself.

23:34And the minute that I started to do that in 2022, remember it started, change started

23:41in 2020, but it's these tiny little steps.

23:44We spoke about this this week.

23:45It's these tiny little steps.

23:47Everything ain't going to happen overnight.

23:48Here I am in 2026 and I'm like, wow.

23:51Now, back in 2020, I didn't know that I would be here.

23:56I didn't know that I would be podcasting and doing all of these things.

23:59The haters, the naysayers, the backstabbers, the backbiters, they said, nah, that ain't

24:06going to work.

24:07I remember that.

24:08I remember people saying that ain't going to work.

24:10You ain't going to be this.

24:11You ain't going to be that.

24:12Laren, you're always going to be miserable.

24:13You're always going to be mean.

24:14You're always going to be fighting people.

24:16You're always going to be doing all of these things.

24:19Look at here.

24:21Look at here.

24:22Look at here.

24:24When I look in the mirror, when I look at my life, it's a mystery to me as well.

24:29I can't believe the change, the transformation that has happened within.

24:34But when I say something, and I'm saying this to each and every one of y'all out there,

24:39when you say something, when you speak something over your life, that's what that means.

24:45Because I needed to have, and you might have the same situation.

24:49I needed to have all of that negativity around me at that moment.

24:53Because Yah was telling me, you know what?

24:55You could do better than this.

24:57Why'd you settle for that relationship?

24:59You could do better than this.

25:00Why did you settle for staying on that job as long as you did?

25:03You could do better than this.

25:05So because you don't know who you are, I'm going to show you who you are.

25:09Because listen, I know who my father is today.

25:12Yeah.

25:14I'm going to say that again.

25:15I know who my father is today.

25:16And because I know who my father is more deeply and intense than what I've ever had,

25:24that makes me know who I am.

25:26Because I know who my father is, and I know him more deeply and more intense and more intimate

25:34than what I've ever done in my entire life, I know who I am today.

25:41If you have a situation going on where you feel that this is just the most ridiculous, outright dirty,

25:49downright disrespectful situation, and I can't even believe that I've gotten myself into this,

25:57sit on that last minute, that last piece that I said,

26:01you can't believe that you got yourself into it because everything starts with self.

26:07You might need to look in.

26:09You might need to center.

26:12You might need to be reminded of who you are, but most importantly, whose you are.

26:22Because when you know whose you are, you will start to look at yourself and feel a little bit different

26:28about yourself.

26:30But it starts with that change.

26:32Remember, change starts with one decision.

26:36So the rhetorical question that I have to ask each and every one of you out there tonight.

26:42I don't know who I'm speaking to.

26:44Again, I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

26:48You get an opportunity every single day.

26:52You get an opportunity every single day to do something a little bit different.

26:59What are you going to do?

27:01You get an opportunity every single day to do something a little bit different.

27:08What are you going to do?

27:10Change starts with one decision.

27:12See, if you get up every single day repeating the same mistakes over and over and over again,

27:18doing the same exact things over and over and over again,

27:22and expecting different results.

27:24For those of you rocking with me, you know what that's called.

27:28Y'all been with me for a minute.

27:30Black Diamond community, you've been with me for a minute.

27:33You understand and you know where I'm coming from.

27:35If you get up every single day doing the same thing over and over and over again,

27:39expecting different results, because Lord knows that I've done that for the first half of my life.

27:44That's called insanity.

27:48I will repeat it again.

27:49Now, one thing that I know today, as sure as my name is what it is, because I know who

27:54my father is, I'm in my right frame of mind today.

27:58Because God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound

28:03mind.

28:03I'm in my right mind today.

28:05So if you are tired of the regular routine journey, you want to get off of that hamster wheel, you're

28:10tired of saying, oh, I'm going to do it.

28:12I'm going to do it.

28:12Maybe it's six months from now, next, you know, next week when I get paid this, that, the next year.

28:17I'm going to try to invest.

28:18I'm going to try to save my money.

28:20I'm going to open up that savings account.

28:22I'm going to open up that brokerage account.

28:24I am going to go and ask my boss about how that 401k works, whatever the situation may be.

28:30Remember that every single day that you get up and do the same thing over and over again, expecting different

28:36results.

28:37You're insane.

28:39Now, I don't know about you, but I don't like all of the name call and I don't like any

28:44of those other things.

28:44People have called me plenty of things and they probably still got more things to say about me, but it

28:49is what it is because they don't have nothing to do with me.

28:51That has everything to do with them.

28:53But the most intense and the most impactful name calling is the name calling that we call ourselves, the names

29:01that we call ourselves.

29:02Now, if you want to sit back and you want to go along with the plan and you want to

29:06sit there and promise yourself because, you know, you know who lets you down most?

29:10Don't worry about your mother, your brother, your sister, your uncle, your cousin, the person on the job, this one,

29:15the next one.

29:16The person who lets yourself down the most is you.

29:20Everything starts with self.

29:22Because you didn't get up and start to do something a little bit different, you're letting yourself down.

29:27The more that you say next week or, oh, when I get a little bit more time or, oh, when

29:32I get a little bit more money, then I'm going to go ahead.

29:35You're letting yourself down every single day.

29:38You call yourself all types of names internally every single day when you sit there and you do nothing.

29:45Lazy, slothfulness, insane, whatever you want to call it.

29:49All of that gets projected and turned within because you are doing that to yourself every single time that you

29:57sit there and you do not make move and you do not make change and you do not go ahead

30:02and try to do something a little bit different.

30:05I don't know what to say.

30:07But I got sick and tired.

30:09Like I said, sick and tired of being sick and tired.

30:11I got sick and tired of being my own worst enemy.

30:13I'm fighting people in the street.

30:15I'm fighting people on the job.

30:17I'm fighting in my relationship.

30:19I'm fighting whatever the case may be.

30:21And then now I have to fight internally with self.

30:24Now it doesn't work that way today.

30:26I stopped all of that and I had to clean some things up and I had to clear some things

30:31up and I had to think and I had to separate myself and it all started with these small little

30:37decisions and I'm going to get into it financially.

30:40Guess what I'm not doing anymore.

30:43I'm worried about Laren today.

30:45I don't know who I'm speaking to, but I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

30:49This is what I have to tell you.

30:50I've been there.

30:50Changes that I've been going through.

30:52I refuse to pay your bills today.

30:54I got to pay my own.

30:56I'm trying not to cuss because this is so emotional.

30:58It's so powerful because I was always the person that always wanted to help.

31:03Now I done went through school and education and going into the workforce and work on my way up the

31:10corporate ladder.

31:11But just because I think you cute and you fly and I want to take you home and all of

31:15this extra stuff and you might be mentally, I'm going to be nice with the words that I pick for

31:21some of the X's and things like that.

31:26You're not mentally up to the level that I wanted you to be at.

31:30See, again, had to correct myself that I wanted them to be at because listen, when people show you who

31:36they are, you should believe them the first time and not try to change them, not try to make them

31:40over.

31:40I know y'all know that song by Sybil.

31:42Don't make me over.

31:43Stop trying to make these people over in these relationships.

31:45If they show you and they tell you who they are, you should believe them the first time and ask

31:50for some discernment and ask God to grant you the wisdom to be able to have the strength to walk

31:56away when things do not work for you anymore.

32:01Changes, small decisions, changes.

32:03One thing that I will not do is I'm not paying your bills today.

32:07Hell, I got to worry about paying my own.

32:09I got to pay my own way.

32:10Now, we could work on this thing.

32:12We could do a little collaboration.

32:13We could do a little 50-50.

32:15We can make this thing work.

32:17And depending on the situation, you front something for me.

32:20I front something for you.

32:21It all comes together.

32:22It all washes out at the end of the year.

32:24We good.

32:28Listen, I have a family.

32:30I know what I need to do.

32:31I need to protect and provide for my family.

32:33I can't be taking on no charity cases today, especially not somebody who's not willing to learn and wanting to

32:42grow and execute and get to the next level.

32:46I know we don't got that much time here today, but I just wanted to open this up.

32:50Look, the small changes start with one decision.

32:52I've already made that decision in 2020.

32:54That's how I had to clean things up financially.

32:56I'm paying my own way today.

33:00Let's talk about things from a spiritual level because we can't be wrapped up and trapped up with people who

33:08do not have the same vision or at least not on the same path and on the same page.

33:13Now, we may not see eye to eye spiritually.

33:20It's a beautiful thing when you can see on the same level, but God reveals things to me that he

33:26may not reveal to you.

33:28So we can't be overly picky when it comes to the spiritual aspect of it.

33:34But here's the thing.

33:36Somebody who goes to church and is, you know, heavily rooted in the community really should not be wrapped up

33:46and trapped up with somebody who's an atheist.

33:52Somebody who believes really should not get wrapped up and trapped up and in a relationship with a non-believer,

33:59unbeliever.

34:01I don't care what they look like.

34:03I don't care how good they are.

34:05But you need to be very careful before you start to take on these soul ties and get wrapped up

34:09and trapped up because they can affect you spiritually.

34:12And what affects you spiritually will trickle into the mental.

34:16People can play games with you mentally because they're coming from a wicked, evil, disrespectful place.

34:24And they can play games with you on a physical level, running two and three relationships at one time.

34:30It could affect your health and it could affect your finances.

34:36Ultimately, these are all going to they're all interconnected.

34:39So it could affect your finances as well.

34:43These small decisions.

34:46Change starts with one decision.

34:48I have to ask you again.

34:51What are you going to do differently today?

34:54Let's make let's make this thing right here.

34:57Today is the last day that we're going to make excuses.

35:00Simple like that.

35:01You can just have a conversation with self.

35:03Get with self.

35:03Today is the last day that I'm going to make excuses.

35:05I can't blame him.

35:06I can't blame her.

35:07Look at your current situation.

35:09You are right here now today and ask yourself this question.

35:13How did I get here?

35:16How did I get here?

35:19Now, we got here was one thing.

35:22We're aware of this situation.

35:24Now we start to ask, OK, so what do we need to do to change this?

35:28What do we need to do to correct this?

35:31What could we do differently?

35:32Because, listen, if I keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, I'm going

35:37to get exactly what I've been getting.

35:40I want something different, so I have to do something a little bit different to remove

35:44myself from the current situation.

35:46Just know that as long as you're making these small little decisions and these small little

35:50steps and you're moving forward every single day away from what you have been, change

35:58will come.

36:00But now consistency is the key.

36:03We already realize that if we stay here, and again, I'm speaking from real life experiences

36:07and I have to remember to practice what I teach.

36:10And again, remember I said changes that I've been going through, and this is one of them,

36:15knowing that I have to be consistent.

36:17Not that we're going to do something on Monday and then Wednesday, we're not going to do it

36:22anymore.

36:22And then by Friday, we're going to pick it up again and then hope and pray that things

36:26are going to change.

36:27It is called consistency.

36:29You have to be consistent.

36:31And moreover, when you're testing and you're trying these things, and there will be some

36:37give and take and you have to work at this.

36:40And what works now, you might need to tweak it and change it a little bit so that you

36:46can stay on track and stay focused.

36:48This is life.

36:49Nothing is set in stone.

36:51But one thing I know is that when you make that change, when you make that decision to

36:56change, do something a little bit different, we want to be consistent.

37:00We want to, and we don't want to just try, oh, I'm going to try.

37:04We want to remove that.

37:06This is what we're going to do.

37:07We need to start claiming it.

37:08We need to start putting it out there, speaking it in.

37:14Be consistent, focus on it for 30 days and evaluate.

37:18Now, when you're in the evaluation process, that doesn't mean stop.

37:23We're evaluating what we're currently doing.

37:25And what we're going to do for this transformation process is replace bad habits with good habits.

37:36Replace bad habits with better habits.

37:40Change starts with one decision.

37:42Be consistent.

37:44Follow through.

37:45I had an old boss that used to say, to follow through.

37:50You want to follow through.

37:52What does follow through mean?

37:54Don't start on Monday and by Friday it's over already.

37:58Now you got to hit that reset button.

38:01If you can get up, get up.

38:03As long as you got the ability to stand up and get up, you can do it again.

38:07Yes, you might stumble and fall.

38:10It's okay.

38:12But get up, focus on that consistency, focus on that 30 days plus.

38:18Ask yourself, tell yourself.

38:20These are some of the things that I had to say.

38:22We're going to focus on this for 30 days.

38:24If we can knock this out the park for 30 days and it become routine and it can become habit,

38:29what?

38:30We are ready to kill the game.

38:34Because I will tell you, there's magic.

38:38There's power when you get to that 30-day mark.

38:42When you get to that 60-day mark, we're doing something now.

38:47But when you get to that 90-day mark, it's like clockwork.

38:52I don't even have to think about it.

38:54This is just what I do.

38:55This is who I am.

38:57Consistency.

38:58Be consistent.

38:59But make that decision to say, you know what?

39:05I want something different.

39:06I'm going to be different.

39:10Look at who you want to become.

39:15Go after it.

39:18Claim it.

39:20Become that person.

39:22Stop sitting on the sidelines.

39:24Again, when I minister to you, I minister to myself.

39:29Stop sitting on those sidelines thinking of what you want to do.

39:34I remember before 2020, I met somebody in 2019.

39:42And she helped change my life.

39:44God put her on my path for a reason.

39:48See, people come into your life for reasons and seasons and all of those good things.

39:52But this was meant to be.

39:53Because prior to 2019, I was always that person like, ah, this summer just passed or I'm halfway through this

40:00summer.

40:01Next summer, I'm going to go ahead and make the change.

40:04This is going to be my year this year.

40:06And I would always just count down and get sidetracked and get distracted.

40:12And my whole world was disordered.

40:15And I would always say, but next year, we're going to try to do it next year.

40:18But one thing about sitting there thinking and contemplating about when it's going to happen is that everything happens on

40:28God's time.

40:31And I sat there and I contemplated and I said I wanted to make a change in 2019 when I

40:37met this individual.

40:39And but I was still going through it, still the same version of myself next year, next summer, you know,

40:48still going through it, still playing a game mentally.

40:52But one thing that I know is that if you serve the God that I serve, that after a while,

40:58he's going to get fed up and he's going to get tired of you not doing what he wants you

41:02to do.

41:03See, when you say, oh, maybe next year, next time, internally, remember, I said changes that I've been going through

41:09internally before it shows up in reality.

41:11You might be going through some changes on the inside.

41:14You might be working it through mentally going through it.

41:18But if you don't take action on it, that internal dialogue that you have.

41:24That's God speaking to you, nudging you, saying, hmm, you can do it.

41:31Like, go ahead on, take that step.

41:33But if we don't take that step.

41:37It's funny how God finds a way to make us take that step and he'll move some things and change

41:41some things.

41:42People start disappearing from your life.

41:45You don't know why this person just stopped talking to you.

41:48You don't know why, you know, you were such an all star at that job.

41:52And now you're like one of the worst employees, you know, there and everybody dislikes you because he might be

42:00calling you to come from that.

42:02Get away from that comfortability.

42:04Get away from that complacency.

42:06Get away from that relationship that is no longer working for you.

42:10Things will just start to happen.

42:12And you'll be asking yourself, how in the heck did this happen when just months ago I was on top

42:17of the world?

42:20If you've experienced something like that, if you're going through something like that, maybe it's time for a change.

42:32Again, I don't know who I'm speaking to.

42:34I'm only speaking from real life experiences.

42:36But, yeah, I've been through some things.

42:41Definitely.

42:44And still going through some things.

42:46But now I know how to navigate a heck of a lot better.

42:49My nervous system isn't all over the place where I can't cope.

42:52I don't know how to speak to people properly.

42:54I'm not, like, ripping people's faces off and, you know, blacking out on people like I used to.

43:01We all go through some changes.

43:05But where we currently are now, think back.

43:13Ask yourself, how did I get here?

43:17What's that one choice?

43:19What's that one decision?

43:22What are those few things that I can do to get myself out of it?

43:29Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Burning Questions for Reflections.

43:34This is the segment where we dive deep into the thoughts, ideas, and questions that challenge conventional thinking.

43:41We want to hear your voice.

43:43And sharing your take is simple.

43:45You can join the conversation right now.

43:47Text the message to 609-200-1098.

43:53Drop your thoughts in the comments below.

43:55DM on any platform at Laring Gains.

43:58Send your responses to info at laringains.com.

44:02And now, Burning Questions for Reflections.

44:07If you had a financial coach sitting beside you today, what challenge would you ask them to help you first?

44:16I want you to think.

44:17I want you to take some time.

44:20If you had a financial coach sitting face to face, what challenge would you ask them to help first?

44:31Now, I will tell you, after my time being a financial coach, the most thing that people, you know, have

44:43come to me, they just want to be better with money.

44:47They want to get their money right.

44:50They want to get out of credit card debt.

44:53That's typically, they want to get out of student loan debt.

44:57All of these things.

45:00Typically, it's the first thing that they want to, you know, discuss.

45:08So, I'm going to say it again.

45:10If you had a financial coach sitting beside you, what challenge would you ask them to help you solve first?

45:19I'm going to go through a quick little story, journey about how I got here today.

45:30I was probably spiritually broken prior to 2020 because I was doing things my way, ripping, running the streets, partying,

45:40hanging out with this person, doing reckless stuff with my money.

45:43And like I said before, when God wants you to move in one direction, but you move in another, if

45:49he wants you to do something, he has the ultimate say.

45:52So, he's going to straighten things out, straighten people out for you, make things a little difficult so that you

45:58can listen.

46:01And that was the first part, getting myself together spiritually, understanding and knowing who I am, knowing what my worth

46:09is, not settling, not putting up for things.

46:13I spoke about not paying other people's bills.

46:15That's an indication that maybe you don't love yourself enough, that you would settle and put yourself in a poor

46:23situation financially in the sake of wanting somebody to love you.

46:30I got it together spiritually first.

46:34After I got it together spiritually understood and had to remember who I was, because see, we're all children.

46:45We're all his children, but sometimes we forget.

46:48So, I had to get a little reminder.

46:51You know who you come from?

46:53You know who your father is?

46:54Okay, so now that you know, don't be out here in these streets being disrespectful, just like you wouldn't want

46:59your children out there disrespecting you, disrespecting your last name, doing some reckless things I had to get with self

47:05and say, okay, let's fix this now.

47:08Now, after that part, because remember, most people, oh, get me out of debt, help me with credit card, stop

47:15the student loans.

47:16Remember, we need to dig deep spiritually.

47:19I had to get it together.

47:22After that, I had got so good and sick and tired of myself and said, I'm going to know what

47:28it is with this money situation.

47:30Why is my bank account not aligning with the goals and the things and the dreams that I have?

47:36Why is it such a struggle?

47:38Why do I have to constantly keep going back and forth in and out of debt, in and out of

47:43debt, in and out of debt?

47:46I had to figure out the mental process.

47:51What do I think?

47:52What do I feel about money?

47:55Why is this such a hard struggle right about now?

47:59And I kept getting around people who had money, getting around people who were doing the things that I wanted

48:08to do.

48:09Remember, you're only an average of the five closest people that you surround yourself with.

48:17You're only an average of the five closest people that you surround yourself with.

48:20So I started to put myself in different rooms and get around people who knew a heck of a lot

48:25more than I did and sit down and shut my mouth and open up my ears.

48:30And one thing that I've learned is that how they thought and felt internally about money was a game changer.

48:40So I had to go back to where I was as a kid, 232 Woodlawn Avenue.

48:50I had to figure that out.

48:53And I had to say, you know what?

48:55What was it like about money?

48:58What was that like?

49:01What was that childhood experience like?

49:03What are the things that I took from that experience and brought it into my adult life?

49:12And then I had to reprogram myself by removing the negative energy and replacing it with positivity, speaking things about

49:23myself, even though they weren't there at that moment, speaking it, claiming it.

49:32So I was on the spiritual, went to the mental, and because I was so in tune spiritually and so

49:41on point with protecting my mental health, removing the negativity, replacing it with positivity, surrounding myself with different people, going

49:55different places.

49:57All of a sudden, the physical became so much simpler.

50:01I don't want to spend all my money.

50:03I'm okay.

50:03I'm going to sit this one out.

50:04I don't have to eat there.

50:06I don't have to go there.

50:08I started to show up and spend money differently.

50:11I wasn't in fear every time a bill came.

50:14I wasn't in fear every time I swiped my credit card.

50:18I wasn't in fear.

50:20Some cases, I said, maybe we don't need to swipe a credit card.

50:23That probably was the problem, too.

50:25You were swiping too much on that credit card.

50:27How about we cut up and get rid of some credit cards?

50:29So I started to feel differently about money mentally and physically, but I was showing up differently with how I

50:40spent my money.

50:43And therefore, when I did open up my financial statement, when I did open up my bank account, I felt

50:51a hell of a lot better than what I did before when I was ignorant to all of it.

50:57So I know that a lot of times we want immediate gratification.

51:04We want immediate results.

51:05Get rid of this.

51:06Get rid of that.

51:07But if you don't do the work spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially, there is a lot of times where people

51:15pay off credit card debt.

51:16They pay off student loan debts.

51:18But because they are not equipped mentally, they're not equipped spiritually, they haven't studied financial principles and rules and guidelines,

51:29they end up putting themselves back into debt, if not even worse than what they were in the first place.

51:38So I want you to think about that.

51:40If you had a financial coach sitting beside you today, what challenge would you ask them to help with you

51:46first?

51:47And as I shared my journey with you, I created Black Diamond Consultations, and I truly believe that for a

51:56true debt-free living process, you have to focus on the spirit.

52:00And maybe not necessarily in this order, but I truly believe that this is what worked for me.

52:05Again, you do what works for you.

52:07This is no, you know, cookie-cutter approach, but this is just the standard that I have built, and this

52:15is what I've used.

52:16This is the framework.

52:17This is the blueprint that I've used to get myself out of debt.

52:21I focus on the spiritual first.

52:23I went to the mental, and I went super heavy on the physical, and, of course, financially, things turned around

52:30for me.

52:31That's what I truly believe.

52:33And on that note, I want to say thank you so much for hanging out with me here today.

52:40We're up against the clock, but, again, I'm here all week, so please tune in.

52:45We have Birdman 313 coming in tomorrow, so check me out.

52:50Come in 5 a.m. Eastern Standard Time all week.

52:54We have the live version of the podcast, but, of course, you can check me out on all of my

52:59social media platforms, at Laren Gaines.

53:02If there's anything that you've heard today that sparks some interest in you about debt-free living and you're interested

53:09in moving on this debt-free living journey, please feel free to head over to LarenGaines.com.

53:14You can sign up for that free 15-minute consultation.

53:18You may also text me at 609-200-1098.

53:22Again, that number is 609-200-1098.

53:26You can sign up for a free 15-minute consultation.

53:29Just shoot me a text.

53:31We'll see if we're a great fit for each other and see if I can help you on this financial

53:36journey through the coaching sessions.

53:39So on that note, ladies and gentlemen, I want to say thank you so much.

53:43It has been a pleasure, and I will see you when I see you.

53:47Take care, y'all.

53:48Have a good night.

54:00Have a good night.

54:32Have a good night.

Change Starts With One Decision | DISC 6: Vitality | 411 PODCAST (Episode 40)

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