00:00We were pregnant at the same time.
00:01By the same man.
00:03So what?
00:04I asked my husband for another wife.
00:06And now we have eight children.
00:09Stop creating fatherless homes.
00:12I feel bad for the kids.
00:13They be confused as hell.
00:16We're not discussing for feeding each other's babies.
00:18We both produce milk, so we get to share that load.
00:22Elle's mom had a lot to say about our poly family.
00:25And today, we're going to find out if she still disagrees.
00:29Were you all ever concerned about how the children felt
00:31about having two moms?
00:36Hi.
00:37Welcome.
00:38Come meet my children and meet my wives.
00:41Hi, I'm Ja.
00:42I'm O'Shea.
00:43My name is Elle.
00:44This is Koa.
00:46And then we have Kyra here sleeping.
00:48We're in a polyamorous triad with eight children.
00:51Harvest.
00:53We're just finishing getting ready, brushing their teeth.
00:56Spit.
00:58So between me and Elle, we have Anaya, Joya, Leary, Natsuru, and Koa.
01:05And then between me and Elle, we have True, Harvest, and Ky.
01:10I've been with Ja for 13 years.
01:13I've been with Mo for six years.
01:16I don't know, seven years.
01:17We became polyamorous because of me.
01:19I basically brought it to Elle and I was just like, I want a wife.
01:24And he was like, are you serious?
01:26Are you trying to set me up?
01:28And I'm like, I'm really serious.
01:31What were you hoping to get out of polyamory?
01:33Expanding our love life, help with the children, having like that sisterhood bond in the household
01:40without having to leave my house and looking for it outside.
01:44I just noticed it.
01:46It's cute.
01:46Having two moms now in the household is like, okay, like you're handling the kitchen.
01:51I'm handling the laundry.
01:52When it was just me by myself, things were getting like piled up.
01:56You want some oil?
01:57Now it's like we have like a flow with the children.
01:59We kind of got like all eyes on them.
02:01I've dated couples before.
02:04I didn't know I was going to get super serious with them and build a family with them.
02:07Me and Ja got to know each other more and everything just started falling into place.
02:12It was like, I love you.
02:16Who's with who?
02:18So our relationship dynamic are we all have intimate, romantic relations.
02:23With each other.
02:24Yeah, with each other.
02:25I'm with Elle, I'm with Ja, Ja's with Elle, Ja's with me.
02:29Yeah, we're all together.
02:30Yeah.
02:30Did you have any concerns about how the kids would react to having a third parent?
02:35No, actually we wanted them to see unity and diversity within our parenting.
02:44Our youngest was nine months at the time and our oldest was four.
02:47So I feel like it was kind of like, I didn't think they were really going to care.
02:51And all the other children we had together, so.
02:55Have you guys ever been concerned about confusing the kids with three parent figures?
02:59No, I've never been concerned about confusing the children.
03:02I feel like it gives them more chance to figure out who they are.
03:07They have more examples of how to be good people.
03:10Yeah, in different ways.
03:12I think our children understand our poly relationship.
03:15They don't overly know about the term poly, but they know that they have two moms.
03:20They start our little babies.
03:21They don't need to know about all the details, you know.
03:26Yeah.
03:26How much do you help each other out?
03:27I feel like we're very involved with each other's babies as much as we can.
03:32Every time that we're pregnant at the same time, she gets pregnant first.
03:34Me and Elle help her deliver the baby and help her through postpartum.
03:40And then not much longer after that, it's my turn to have the baby.
03:44We both produce milk, so the weight is not all in one person.
03:49We get to share that load.
03:50When and why did you start feeding each other's babies?
03:52And was it strange at first?
03:54All right, come on up today.
03:58So we started feeding each other's babies in 2021.
04:02We treat all the children like they're our own.
04:06They are.
04:07Yeah.
04:07It wasn't strange at all.
04:09It just felt natural to help my wife out when our baby needed something.
04:13Exactly.
04:14We're in one household.
04:15These are all my babies.
04:17You're so lovable.
04:18She is.
04:19Our bodies are different.
04:21So they're getting like a double dose of nutrients from us.
04:26And like our babies get like super big.
04:28Yeah.
04:30I'll see like some women two days postpartum and they're like back cooking and cleaning
04:34because they don't have that support.
04:36Can you grab those lentils?
04:38How would you describe these two different parenting styles?
04:40Overall, I feel like I'm the strictest parent.
04:43I am like the more lenient parent.
04:46I feel like my job mostly is to keep them safe and make sure they're mentally able to be free.
04:58We decided to homeschool our children around the COVID time.
05:03I kind of just saw like the ins and out of school and I would like to control that more
05:07and keep them safe and teach them.
05:10This yeast, it may look like some dirt or flour or something, but this is actually a bacteria.
05:24What are some of the challenges you've experienced parenting as a tryout?
05:28Us being so different sometimes.
05:30Just organization and keeping things clean.
05:36Poly parenting is definitely not for the week.
05:39Do you like having three parents?
05:41Yeah.
05:43What's the best part of having three parents?
05:46A lot of help.
05:49Sometimes it's a learning curve or growing pains that we go through,
05:52but communication gets us there every time.
05:55We love to communicate and we just all flow.
05:59I'm going to clean up.
06:00All right.
06:00Dad's going to clean up.
06:01Yeah.
06:01You're the man.
06:02Go.
06:02Come on, next it is.
06:03When did you start sharing your family dynamics on social media
06:07and what were the reactions like?
06:09We started sharing our polydynamic about three months ago.
06:13Typically it's just them trying to call the women dumb.
06:19Who in their right mind would want two wives?
06:22I feel like a lot of people want two.
06:25We have had some comments about us feeding each other's babies.
06:28Some of them was like, that's weird.
06:30I feel bad for the kids.
06:32They'd be confused as hell.
06:34They see all of us working together in harmony.
06:38It's not like we have a toxic dynamic or be yelling or cursing each other out.
06:43The children are confused.
06:44I'm confused by some of these comments.
06:46Stop creating fatherless homes.
06:50How is this creating fatherless homes?
06:52We know our love is true and genuine.
06:55The things people can say doesn't really resonate with us because we know who we are.
06:59I don't want to use crazy words, but I don't care what they think.
07:03I'm going to just say that.
07:04I can care less.
07:06It took a village back then and it takes a village now.
07:08That way.
07:09Even though a lot of people aren't in poly relationships, they take their children to the doctor.
07:14Strangers.
07:15Yeah, strangers.
07:16They sometimes have babysitters.
07:18We're all in the same house together.
07:19We know each other.
07:21It's the true village rather than sending your children out to all these random people.
07:26How have your families reacted to you guys being in poly relationships?
07:29Some of my family reacted as in a negative way, saying that it probably won't last.
07:37They already got you.
07:38Yeah, they got me coming in.
07:41Hey baby, how you doing?
07:44Elle's mom had a lot to say about our poly family.
07:47And today we're going to find out if she still disagrees.
07:52So we brought it up to you, mom, about us adding Moe.
07:56How did you feel about that?
07:59Well, I just was like shocked.
08:02You like my hair, baby?
08:03I just said, it's my wife, mom.
08:05And I said, huh?
08:07They young, they tripping, you know?
08:10I've been super close with his mom since I've met her, since I was 16.
08:14She was like really suspicious of the relationship.
08:17And she kept acting, like she was asking me, are you sure you're okay?
08:19Are you sure this is what you want?
08:21Were you all ever concerned about how the children felt about having two moms?
08:28We thought and still do believe it to be beneficial.
08:34I feel like if it was a situation where like I'm about to be like the mom outside of the
08:40relationship
08:41with the dad, I think it would have brought way more pressure.
08:45Mm-hmm.
08:46But with all of us being together, I think it flowed more naturally.
08:50I've been around you all in y'all growing bonding stage as well.
08:55I've seen you all have meetings, you know, where other people have counseling,
09:01one-on-one marriage counseling, whatever.
09:03Y'all counsel each other.
09:04Y'all sit down and get in the hot seat and express it.
09:07I've seen y'all cry it out.
09:09I commend you all for being positive about it.
09:13The best thing about having three parents in the home is
09:18giving the children more perspective on different personalities.
09:22They take on little bits from each, which makes them more whole when they
09:27creating their own personality.
09:29What do you love about your parents?
09:31I don't know.
09:32I don't know.
09:32People like to focus on the physical connection part of poly,
09:38but they're not thinking about like the day-to-day lifestyle stuff.
09:41I don't think there's a lot of representation behind
09:43poly families actually parenting.
09:47It's really nice having like a sister in the house with me that I could vibe
09:50with and, you know, talk and connect with and have help with the children.
09:54I love it.
09:56How many kids do you think you're going to have?
09:59I would put us at around 11.
10:01I'd say 13.
10:02I would think 10, but I love eight.
10:05I'm just going to say.
10:06I love it.
10:07I like eight too.
Comments