00:01In 2086, two peaceful aliens journeyed to Earth, seeking our help.
00:07In return, they gave us the plans for our first hyperdrive, allowing mankind to open the doors to the stars.
00:19We have assembled a team of unique individuals to protect Earth and our allies,
00:24courageous pioneers committed to the highest ideals of justice,
00:28and dedicated to preserving law and order across the new frontier.
00:33These are the adventures of the Galaxy Rangers.
01:13Planet Care Whip, 90 parsecs ahead.
01:17ETA, three hours.
01:18What a way to spend a weekend discussing mathematical principles at a Federation conference.
01:25Math is often the first pure science to be discovered by any primitive people.
01:30Waldo, I'm a farmer, not a calculator.
01:33There's a very deep link between mathematics and civilization, Zozo.
01:38On our own planet Andor, the triangle was once considered sacred.
01:42Not on Curewin. All we know about math is one potato, two potato.
01:47I'm picking something up.
01:49Bring your family, bring your friends, to the amazing, the astounding, the one, the only,
01:54Orion, flying circus and rodeo show.
01:59Wow.
02:00Double wow.
02:02It's the greatest show in the galaxy.
02:05Your eyes will pop, your ears will quiver, your internal organs will go a-pitter-patter.
02:10Hey, that would be fun.
02:13Let's go.
02:13But we're scheduled for a debriefing on Curewin at 0500.
02:17Ah, you Anthorians don't know how to enjoy yourself.
02:22We have plenty of time for a debriefing.
02:24I'll put it to a vote, but we seem to be split four to four.
02:29Four to six, if you count Swee and Bud.
02:31Let's go.
02:33Yeah, you're outvoted.
02:35In we go.
02:42Welcome to the Orion Flying Circus and Rodeo.
02:47The show is about to begin.
02:58There's no problem, as long as the Kiwi can juggle our schedule.
03:04Junglers?
03:06Encore, encore, this is wonderful.
03:10I never thought you clowns would ever admit they're having fun.
03:15Clowns?
03:17Howdy, howdy, howdy.
03:19Welcome to the Orion Flying Circus and Rodeo.
03:23Don't think old Wild Bill Crabb didn't recognize you.
03:27Recognize us?
03:29Indeed.
03:30It is my pleasure to award each of you one of these official emblems as a small token of my
03:36appreciation.
03:38You would honor us by wearing them.
03:41That's rule one of protocol.
03:44Never turn down a gift.
03:48Congratulations, jugglers and clowns.
03:50You have just been initiated into the Orion Flying Circus and Rodeo Show.
03:56Jugglers?
03:58Clowns?
03:59You've got to be kidding.
04:01Oh, yeah?
04:02Ouch!
04:03That hurts!
04:05Don't bother, folks.
04:07Once those collars go on, they don't come off.
04:10That does it, bozo.
04:11You just earned yourself a fat lip.
04:14Please, Ziza.
04:15I'm afraid he might hurt the babies.
04:17This way, folks.
04:20Now, it's hard to get quality entertainers these days.
04:24Luckily, our staff are all volunteers, like you.
04:29Listen, pal.
04:30We're not jugglers or clowns.
04:32We're ambassadors.
04:34Ambassadors?
04:35Well, even if you are telling the truth,
04:37that's no reason to let you go.
04:40Now, get in that cage.
04:43Cage?
04:44No!
04:45Never!
04:46Get in there!
04:49Crab!
04:50We can't go in that cage!
04:52The Andorian people!
04:54All right, stop!
04:55We'll go.
04:56For now.
05:04I'm in there!
05:08Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Ernie and Gelatinus?
05:12Are we supposed to clap?
05:14Ernie is a super-talented android robot.
05:18He'll be helping you jugglers to polish up your act.
05:22Gelatinus can change his body shape at will.
05:25If any of you step out of line, he'll be there to clobber you.
05:30And aside from my brilliant cunning and my hilarious antics,
05:34I'm what you call...
05:41Trans-dimensional.
05:46In the morning, your training is going to begin.
05:55Uncle Waldo, I'm scared.
05:58The regression.
05:59Hang on, Norbis.
06:00We'll get out in time.
06:03Ain't nobody ever broke out of here, stranger.
06:10Little fella, believe me.
06:12I've been trying a long time.
06:14How long have you been here?
06:17About 18 years.
06:25Good morning, Kiwi.
06:27It's time for you to juggle.
06:29It's too early to juggle.
06:32Come back at 7.30 and bring pancakes.
06:35Insolent, Curb.
06:37Ha-ha.
06:39Ha, Curb.
06:41You will all learn to be as good as the great gurney, the android robot.
06:46You first, insolent one.
06:48Hey, this is easy.
06:50You have only just started to learn.
06:55We'll be putting you out of a job soon, Motorhead.
07:00Motorhead?
07:06You'll juggle those clubs and you drop, Kiwi.
07:10How about if I drop you instead?
07:17Chalk one up for Kiwi Dexterity.
07:20Get the keys.
07:30We'll be back, guys.
07:31And we'll bring help.
07:33I know you'll be back.
07:40Escaping performers.
07:50Caesar, run to the ship.
07:52Get help.
07:54Daddy.
07:57He won't get far.
08:26You'll pay for this, Kiwi.
08:33Mayday, mayday.
08:35This is Ambassador Caesar of Kiwi.
08:53The distress call came from coordinates A-3-4.
08:57Since the three of you are in that sector, I want you to find those ambassadors.
09:02Right, Commander.
09:04I wish those guys would use escorts.
09:06Nico, set scanners on wide search program.
09:10Scanners on wide?
09:12I've got their hypershunt, Sector 7.
09:14Locking in coordinates.
09:21We have got to get out of here.
09:26Waldo, what's going on?
09:28All you Andorians have been acting like...
09:31Like what?
09:36I was the only one that escaped.
09:39The others, my brother Zozo, my wife, my kids, still trapped there.
09:45Take it easy, Caesar.
09:46Any sign of that circus ship, Goose?
09:50Trying, Captain.
09:51They must have moved on.
09:53The Andorians.
09:55Something's wrong with them.
09:56As soon as they got in that cage, zing!
09:59The Andorian regression.
10:02What's that?
10:02Kind of a psychic defense mechanism.
10:06Andorians find the very concept of captivity so repulsive,
10:10they often revert to animals when in prison.
10:21Waldo, what's wrong?
10:24It's too late.
10:26Don't you understand?
10:27It's the cage.
10:29Keep them away from the kids.
10:34We've got to appeal to their higher instincts.
10:37I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree.
10:44A tree?
10:45If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it,
10:48did it really fall?
10:50Any thoughts?
10:53Hey, those guys are clowns.
10:56They're wild animals.
11:00This new development is great.
11:10Ladies and humanoids,
11:14it's showtime!
11:15No time!
11:18Jump!
11:23Yahoo!
11:27Up the ladder, Kiwis!
11:30Do we get a cut of the profits?
11:32Get up the ladder.
11:38I hope you magnetize and get stuck to the ceiling, Buster.
11:42Yeah.
11:49Now what?
11:51Ah, across the tightrope.
11:53Have you flipped your chips? You never trained us to walk a tightrope.
11:58I know.
11:59Ladies and humanoid, mutants and gentlemen,
12:05may I direct your attention to the high wire far above the center ring,
12:10where the amazing kiwi jugglers are precariously hurt.
12:17I'm getting dizzy.
12:20Peggy, don't look down.
12:23I can't help it.
12:29No way!
12:36They're going to fall, Leon.
12:38It's only an act, Leon.
12:41Hang on. I'll help you.
12:43Oh, no, you won't.
12:52Don't fall, Sweet. Hang on, bud.
13:01It appears I have the last laugh, kiwi.
13:06Sorry, Ernie.
13:07With a face like that, you'll never have the last laugh.
13:14Let's go.
13:14Stop it. No.
13:18I have the last laugh.
13:21Keep your hands on me.
13:25I have the last laugh.
13:26No.
13:26Bye.
13:26Bye.
13:26Bye.
13:26Bye.
13:27Bye.
13:32Bye.
13:33Bye.
13:35Bye.
13:35I know how to make a guy feel comfortable.
13:38Maybe you'd be more comfortable
13:40if I left you alone with your friends.
13:43Waldo, it's me, your little kiwi buddy.
13:46Waldo, Waldo, Waldo!
13:49Oh, get off me.
13:56Waldo, don't you recognize me?
14:08You guys were right.
14:10We should have gone straight home.
14:15Hey, Waldo, look.
14:20What is the sum of the squares
14:22of the two short legs of a right triangle equal to?
14:30Um, the square of the hypotenuse, of course.
14:35Don't eat me, Waldo.
14:37Eat you?
14:38Why would I?
14:43Oh, no!
14:45Waldo, it might be smart to get out of this cage right now.
14:49I agree wholeheartedly.
14:50Waldo!
14:51Oh, no!
14:54Oh, no!
14:58Oh, no!
15:20That releases the colors.
15:22Go get it.
15:28Is this part of the act too, Leon?
15:35Quick, the Andorians have escaped.
15:41Attention, everyone.
15:43You have nothing to fear from the Andorians.
15:46We are a peaceful and intelligent race.
15:49It is the three men who run this circus, whom you should beware of.
15:55All of the performers you've seen here tonight are captives.
16:00Prisoners, please, you must help us.
16:03Oh, boy, I love audience participation, Leon.
16:07To the emergency exit.
16:25This is the Galaxy Rangers.
16:27You're under arrest for kidnapping Kiwi and Andorian ambassadors.
16:33Oh, no.
16:34Galaxy Rangers.
16:47Galaxy Rangers, ho!
16:54You sure these guys are peaceful and intelligent, Leon?
16:57That's what the man said, Leon.
17:02We're out of the cage, Tycho dear.
17:04We're free.
17:06Free.
17:08Kiss her.
17:10Kiss her.
17:14Ladies and gentlemen, the Galaxy Rangers.
17:21They went that way.
17:26You'll never catch me, Rangers.
17:28Ernie is the greatest acrobat in the universe.
17:33That's nice.
17:34Maybe you'll get a cell with monkey bars.
17:45This calls for some bionic enhanced strength.
17:51Ah, well...
17:53Ah, well...
18:07Oh, say to this...
18:08Oh, my God.
18:11Don't allow me.
18:12Oh, my God.
18:14Now, I'm out of the cage.
18:14Oh, boy.
18:16Oh, boy.
18:26Good show, Goose.
18:29I'll never eat gelatin again.
18:32Okay, Joker, you're under arrest.
18:36You can't catch me.
18:40We'll see about that.
18:49I'm right here, right here, right here, or...
18:58Okay, Chuckles, let's see you laugh this one off.
19:20Love to stay, but I have to pop off.
19:24Not this time.
19:29Which way do they go, George?
19:36Now, where's that button?
19:50I'm okay, Zozala.
19:51Thanks to the Galaxy Rangers.
20:00How about you Andorians?
20:02We'll be fine as long as we stay out of that cage.
20:08Let us out, please.
20:10We'll release you under one condition.
20:12That you and your pals return everyone you captured to their home planets.
20:17But that'll take years.
20:1928.7 years, I estimate.
20:23Me and the others have been talking it over,
20:25and we decided since it'll take years for us to get home,
20:29we'll keep on doing what we've always done best.
20:32As long as we're not prisoners anymore,
20:35we don't mind putting on a show.
20:38Well, that sounds just fine.
20:41It's settled.
20:43Just take a seat and get ready to see the greatest show in the free galaxy.
20:52You know, Waldo,
20:54I'll kind of miss the roar of the grease paint,
20:57the smell of the crowd.
20:58I guess showbiz is in my blood.
21:02Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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