- 2 days ago
Doc Martin S01E01 - Good Bowmin
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24:44on some poor sod, they're fine.
24:45I'll drive you myself, but at least I'll have delivered
24:47the diagnosis you asked me for.
24:52Get out!
24:53The three of us need to talk.
24:57Please.
24:59You haven't told your wife, have you?
25:02Doctor!
25:04Darling, you must be starving.
25:05Poor puppet.
25:07Doctor Ellingham, would you like to stay for a bite?
25:09You're late. Again.
25:12Darling. Silly.
25:14I told you, I was shopping.
25:15Did you get the muscular?
25:17Oh, darling.
25:19I'm such a fool.
25:20I completely forgot.
25:22Yes.
25:23I'm becoming forgetful in my old age, Doctor.
25:25Is there a cure?
25:26Er, no.
25:28Listen, I've been updating your patient notes.
25:30Your use of estrogen cream.
25:32It's excessive.
25:34Perhaps I use a squidgen more than it says on the pack.
25:36It makes me feel ever so chipper.
25:37Yeah, but there can be side effects.
25:40And to be honest, how can I put this?
25:42We find it smooths the works.
25:45Well, it looks like rain.
25:48I think I'd better turn to the garden.
25:51Sit down.
25:52What?
25:53Sit down.
25:57Your husband came to me with a complaint.
25:59What?
26:01You all right?
26:02What is it?
26:03It's nothing.
26:04Really.
26:05All right, I'll tell her.
26:06Your husband has gynecomastia.
26:09That's a condition where a man develops chest tissue.
26:14Right.
26:15Breast?
26:17Yes.
26:18Ah.
26:19The vest in bed?
26:21Why didn't you tell me?
26:24Well, not as attractive as I used to be.
26:28Nonsense.
26:29What I want to suggest is that there's a connection between your use of the cream and this condition.
26:33Estrogen is a female hormone used to excess.
26:36It's possible that during intercourse some may have transferred and, um...
26:42Gilbert, I'm so sorry.
26:44Oh, well, it's not your fault.
26:47I need to do a little bit more research, but I'm not the first to suspect a connection.
26:51Right, well, I'll, uh, leave you to, to, um, you know where I am for me.
26:56Thank you, darling.
26:57Yeah.
27:02Afternoon, Elaine.
27:03You're looking efficient.
27:05Enjoy your tea.
27:07What's wrong with you?
27:10Nothing.
27:11The day got better.
27:14Patient waiting.
27:16No, there isn't, because, as you know, I'm not open for business yet.
27:21There's still a patient waiting.
27:25You'd better be dying.
27:28I think I'm growing breasts.
27:31Oh, no.
27:32Oh, God, it's serious, isn't it?
27:35Oh.
27:36No, no, nothing to do with you.
27:37I had a theory.
27:39You've just proved it wrong.
27:40Let me have a look.
27:42I've been drinking the water.
27:43I'm sure you have.
27:45There's something wrong with the water.
27:46No one's admitting it, but look at me.
27:47Shush.
28:13Lady Brady, I've been looking for you.
28:15Oh, we've been looking for you, too.
28:17Caroline here is our local radio star.
28:20Call me Caro.
28:21She's in charge of the prize giving.
28:23Well, kind of assumed you give the prizes for the fancy dress.
28:26It's you to the doctor's thankless task.
28:28I just wanted a word with you.
28:29If I don't get inside and toss a few salads, the committee will hound me out of Port Wham.
29:03Oh, that's interesting.
29:04Glad you like it.
29:05Look at that tosh over there.
29:08A lot of old firewood loosely glued to some litter in the name of arts and crafts.
29:12I like that.
29:13Somber.
29:16Thanks for looking after my stall, Bob.
29:33Who's the best?
29:34Class set.
29:36Yay!
29:36Yay!
29:37Right.
29:38Where's the eye patches?
29:40Everyone with eye patches put you...
29:42Ah.
29:49Your diagnosis was right.
29:51They got me on drops.
29:52What?
29:53They got me on drops.
29:55Oh, they're beta blockers.
29:56It should clear up within a couple of weeks.
29:58If not, go and see your doctor.
30:00I would, but I got off to a bad start with him.
30:02Oh, no.
30:03Your doctor's a professional.
30:04Oh, am I a doctor?
30:06Yeah.
30:07I should have told you I lived in Port Wham.
30:10So how are you finding us?
30:12Irritating.
30:13Apart from the primary school teacher, who's a pirate, it seems.
30:19You know, you're not at all like I thought you were.
30:21You're actually pretty rather...
30:22I've got to go.
30:24Colonel, I wanted a quick word with you about your gynecomastia.
30:27Please.
30:28It seems it wasn't your wife's cream after all.
30:30Not here, for God's sake.
30:32Fine.
30:34What makes you think it wasn't a cream?
30:36Well, there's been an unrelated case.
30:38Ah, bloody water, I thought so.
30:40Who was it?
30:41I can't tell you that.
30:42No good fellow?
30:43A young lad, surfer type.
30:45Probably wished too hard for the perfect swell.
30:51Good God!
30:53Probably not what it looks like.
31:03What are you doing here?
31:05Nothing.
31:08Don't come near me!
31:09Thank you, everybody.
31:10Bloody hell!
31:12Susan!
31:14You told him about me.
31:16Oh, that's not...
31:18Well, at least we know where your tits came from.
31:21Ah, perfect timing.
31:23Here's our new doctor, Dr. Martin Ellingham,
31:26to award the prizes for the Fancy Dress Competition.
31:31Give him a hand.
31:33Thank you, Dr. Martin Ellingham.
31:45Dr. Martin Ellingham.
31:48The Fancy Dress Competition.
31:51Do you have any permission?
32:04Doc, we are naive on Media Port Wynn.
32:11Oh, shit.
32:15Ellinger!
32:18You taster!
32:33Have you seen Ross?
32:36I need to speak to him.
32:40How can I explain things to him if I can't actually speak to him?
32:45Well, at least tell me where he lives!
33:36I need to get a new one.
33:37But I need to get to know what he can do now.
33:38I need to know what he can do now.
33:38I have to know what he can do now.
33:39Oh!
33:45Is that him again?
33:47Yep!
34:18Stop! Wakey, wakey!
34:25Everything all right?
34:29Yeah, fine.
34:31I was, um, looking at what's his name, that surfer boy.
34:35Ross.
34:36Ross.
34:37Out here.
34:38Yeah.
34:38Yeah, he lives in the village. Come on.
34:41I'll give you a lift.
34:43Then we'll get your car sorted.
34:53You are listening to Radio Port Wendt.
34:55And now more on the controversy surrounding Port Wendt life all day,
34:59which for many villagers was marred when our new doctor, Dr Ellingham,
35:02disappointed the boys and girls who...
35:04You should have stopped by the pub last night. You missed the show.
35:07Oh, really?
35:09Gilbert got drunk and tried to kill Ross.
35:11What? Did you have to intervene?
35:13I took the view that a lobster is not a particularly lethal weapon.
35:19He says he's divorcing Susan.
35:25You're depressed.
35:27Oh, no. I've antagonized half of the village, buggered up a marriage and crashed my car.
35:31Why would I be depressed?
35:35I'm depressed.
35:38Doc said I wanted to give me something, but I'm trying the homeopathic route,
35:41so I know how you feel.
35:44God knows I've wanted to drive my car in a bog sometimes.
35:47I didn't drive my car into a bog.
35:49Somebody came at me, and not for the first time since I've been here.
35:52Ah. See, I've had that, too.
35:55Sometimes it's like everybody's coming at you.
36:04I thought you were going to...
36:05I know.
36:07He got out.
36:10Had a good lawyer.
36:39What the hell's going on?
36:41Ah, Doc Martinson.
36:43Now, don't worry.
36:44It's all under control.
36:46Delivery for Ellingham?
36:47Sometimes happens when we have to repressurize the system.
36:51But no phaser.
36:53It's completely normal.
36:56Medical equipment.
36:57You want it or not?
36:59I don't know.
37:01What?
37:02Sod off.
37:06Go on.
37:07Sod off.
37:08All of you.
37:09Please.
37:27There you go.
37:31Obviously, if this kid decides to make it a formal complaint, there's going to be nothing I can do about
37:36that.
37:36I did not breach his confidentiality.
37:38I mentioned no names.
37:39Martin, you led the husband to the scene of the crime.
37:41It's not a pretty story.
37:45Listen.
37:47I backed you coming here.
37:49Well, you backed the wrong horse, didn't you?
37:51Because I'm clearly not a GP.
37:53No.
37:53I want you to know I'm still going to back you.
37:56Oh, Martin, let's face it.
37:57You piss people off wherever you go.
37:59Couldn't stand the sight of you myself for the first few years of med school.
38:03I'm just saying, what are you going to gain by moving on?
38:06And how's it going to help the people here if they lose the best medic they're ever likely to see
38:10because of some stupid...
38:13Oh, Dan, can you please just...
38:19So why don't we just sit tight and hope all this just blows over?
38:25Eh, mate?
38:27No.
38:28Sorry.
38:28I'll put things right as best I can, but then I'm calling it a day.
38:38Thanks for coming.
38:41I just wanted to say, I could have handled things better.
38:44I'm the one who should be apologising to you, not to mention Ross and Gilbert.
38:49Yeah, I hear Gilbert once, uh...
38:51Divorced, yes.
38:52I've been such a fool.
38:55I do love him, you know.
38:58Would it help to talk?
39:00He won't talk.
39:02To be honest, I can't face him at the moment.
39:04And what about Ross?
39:07Keeps calling.
39:09I've told him it's all over.
39:10Long letter, but he won't accept it.
39:13He'll get over it.
39:13Yes, he's a boy.
39:16Today he thinks his heart is broken.
39:18Tomorrow there'll be good waves.
39:20He'll surf, he'll forget.
39:22Then in a month or two, there'll be a sultry 19-year-old who'll let him enjoy her breasts without
39:27giving him a set of his own.
39:31You're going to have to talk to them both.
39:32You know that, don't you?
39:35I don't think this is a good idea.
39:38I said I'd talk to you, not her.
39:41Colonel.
39:42Darling, darling, please let me explain.
39:44Please.
39:44You found someone else.
39:46No explanation necessary.
39:48Hang on.
39:49It was nothing.
39:50It was...
39:51Just tell me this.
39:53Were you...
39:55with him
39:56when his car was caught in the tide?
39:58I hardly think that...
39:59Just tell me.
40:01Because the tide takes how long to come in?
40:08So don't tell me it was nothing.
40:11Can I say something?
40:16What?
40:18Colonel, you still love your wife, don't you?
40:26Yes.
40:27Well, there you go, then.
40:28You love her.
40:29She just told me she loves you.
40:30Problem solved.
40:31Mine's a pint.
40:32You know nothing whatsoever about relationships.
40:36The doctor's just trying his best.
40:38Oh, no, you didn't.
40:40Oh, good God, it's lover boy.
40:44Right, well, the three of you caused this problem,
40:45and it's only fair that the three of you should sort it out, shouldn't you?
40:48Ross.
40:48You had your chance with Susan, and you blew it.
40:51I'm going to punch you all like so.
40:53Well, hang on.
40:54Why don't you go back to your garden, old man?
40:58Colonel, Colonel, stop it now.
41:00Come on, then.
41:00Get that one.
41:01Get the tide again.
41:02Stop.
41:02Come on, let's decide again.
41:04Go on.
41:08I didn't mean to do that.
41:10Just get it out.
41:13You're all right, old man.
41:19I'll leave you two to it.
41:25One stray punch and you're running away.
41:27Oh, for heaven's sake, Marty.
41:29Looks like the lanes weren't wide enough, after all.
41:31Well, what do you expect, coming here?
41:33Well, I must say, I was hoping for a slightly more hospitable environment.
41:37Rubbish.
41:38If you wanted a chocolate box village, go to the Isle of Wight.
41:41This is a real place.
41:45You know, I always wondered, when you stopped coming for the summer, if you, well, if you
41:52felt perhaps that you weren't welcome.
41:56Well, no, I just, er, thought it wasn't so convenient, that's all.
42:02You, you know that he wouldn't send you, don't you?
42:06Dad, why?
42:07Oh, doesn't matter now.
42:08Far too long ago.
42:09I just, er, I just wanted you to know that, er, well, you were always welcome.
42:19Here, Doc, I'll have a look under the body for you.
42:23Save you some money.
42:24No, no, no, no, no, no.
42:25Just tow it to the garage.
42:41I'll, I'll telephone you, aren't you?
42:45Doctor, doctor, I think I'm quite impressed.
42:48You're quite impressed.
42:49What's happened to you?
42:50Pervert.
43:15So you're going to pay me for this week, or what?
43:19What?
43:34Well, Doc, I, er, I just dropped the car back for you.
43:37Thanks.
43:38Um, I'm sorry things haven't worked out.
43:42Um, it's certain, then, yeah.
43:45Well, that's your right, er.
43:48I was only thinking, um, er, if you are leaving, I was wondering whether you'd kindly see one
43:54or two people just before you go.
43:56Um, give me their names, I'll think about it.
44:00Oh, thank you.
44:02Well, there's, um, there's old Jane Carpenter, and she's got lumbago, and there's, er, Mary
44:09Morris, she's got blood pressure.
44:11And then there's big Lucy Holmes arthritis, little Lucy Holmes sore throat, old Giddens arthritis,
44:19young Giddens, Benny's a lovely boy, diabetic.
44:21Hang on, how long is this list?
44:23Well, er, wait a minute, I know what this is all about.
44:27None of you lot can be bothered to travel to Weybridge to see a doctor, can you?
44:32It's a long way to Weybridge.
44:34Yeah.
44:34It's not really good enough, is it?
44:42Well, the way I look at this, Doc, is that you need patients, and we need a Doc.
44:46And we don't all have to love one another, do we?
44:48Yeah.