- 2 days ago
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00:08Hello and welcome to Taskmaster.
00:11I'm Tom Gleeson and to most of you, this looks like a big chair,
00:15but it's actually one of my normal dining chairs from home.
00:19But we're not here to be impressed by me,
00:22we're here for me to not be impressed by five comedians.
00:26Competing to win my lovely head tonight are
00:29Anissa Nandala.
00:32Brett Blake.
00:34Celia Pocola.
00:36Joel Creasy.
00:38And Kurt's very own Grove McManus.
00:42And lastly, say hello to the guy who won't eat heirloom tomatoes
00:46because he thinks they look a bit too rude from above.
00:50It's Tom Cashman.
00:55How are you, Lester Tom?
00:56I'm not too bad. In fact, I've prepared a bit of a magic trick.
00:59Oh.
00:59Pick a card, any card.
01:02Okay.
01:02What did you get?
01:03It says, I appreciate the work you do.
01:08I just wanted to hear that.
01:10APPLAUSE
01:13Did every card say that?
01:15Yeah.
01:16Serve me up a prize task, please, Lester Tom.
01:19Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the most beautiful, damp thing.
01:25Anissa, what do you have for me?
01:26Yes, so the item that I chose is my wig.
01:30Oh.
01:31And this becomes most beautiful when it's damp because I hang in on the shower and it looks like a
01:37ghost.
01:40And every time my boyfriend walks in, he always gets scared, which is awesome.
01:43But then I forget I wear wigs and then I walk in at night and I get scared.
01:47But that is the most beautiful, damp thing.
01:50OK.
01:52It's not how I define beauty, but sometimes the most beautiful things also scare you.
01:56It's not how you do it.
01:58Like pumps.
02:02OK.
02:02Joel, what did you bring in?
02:04I've just gone literal with this one.
02:05The most beautiful, damp thing.
02:07Caviar.
02:08Oh.
02:10Yeah, any questions?
02:13OK.
02:13How often would you eat that?
02:15I actually love it, yeah.
02:16With a bit of sour cream, a bellini, a little bit of...
02:18Do you know what caviar is?
02:19No, I don't know what bellini is.
02:21Didn't they teach you about caviar at TAFE?
02:26No, surprisingly not.
02:27I know how to scaffold, though, so...
02:29All right.
02:30Brett, what did you bring in?
02:32Hello, welcome to my trap.
02:34So damp, a terrarium, and beautiful...
02:39Have a look at this.
02:41It's your wife!
02:45Don't like it when you suck up.
02:46Feels a bit weird.
02:48Wasn't sucking up.
02:49It's a trap.
02:50OK.
02:51All right, Rove.
02:52No surprises.
02:53It's an animal.
02:54It's called the poison dart frog.
02:58Can you put that on a cracker as well?
03:00Oh, yeah.
03:02All right, finally, Celia.
03:04Well, to show I brought this in,
03:05this is what's known as a postnatal perineal tray.
03:10And what that is,
03:12is when you push a person out of your vagina,
03:15the only thing that brings you any comfort
03:17is sitting in this plastic birdbath
03:20in about two centimetres of warm water
03:21and just soak the absolute horror show.
03:24Celia?
03:25Really?
03:26Do you know what beautiful means?
03:29Yes, I do, Thomas.
03:30And let me ask you this.
03:31If your penis was split in half
03:33when you were bringing life into the world
03:35and the only thing that brought you any relief from that
03:38was sitting in this damp thing,
03:40that is a beautiful relief
03:46from the torturous thing.
03:48And it doesn't have to be for birth.
03:50If birth makes you feel squeamish, shame on you.
03:53But it also could be for your hemorrhoids, Tom.
03:56OK.
03:57OK, well, I have to give out some points.
03:59You do.
03:59Straight away, one point to Joel.
04:01Oh, are you serious?
04:03Yeah, well, it's easy.
04:04I mean, I agree.
04:04It's beautiful and it's damp.
04:05I get it.
04:06But I eat it every day too.
04:07No big deal.
04:08Two points to Anissa
04:11because I'm sick of seeing your pubes from last episode.
04:15Three points to Rove
04:17because it was a very beautiful frog
04:18and it's definitely damp.
04:19Four points to Brett
04:20because my wife is very beautiful
04:22but even my wife would agree
04:24the most beautiful thing is what Celia brought in.
04:26Well done.
04:27Well done.
04:28Allied.
04:28Allied.
04:30You're an ally, Tom.
04:33OK, my human AI assistant.
04:35Let's get into the good stuff.
04:37Show me a task.
04:38This next task is about speedos,
04:39the ones police have to measure speed,
04:41not the ones they wear under their uniforms.
04:57Hello.
04:58G'day.
04:59Oh, that's a lot.
05:01Oh, look at you.
05:02Hi, Anissa.
05:03Policeman.
05:04Oh, you're like a cop.
05:05Are you trying to be tough or something?
05:06I'm not trying to be tough.
05:07I am tough.
05:08Dude, you're the lamest cop ever.
05:10I can't see your task, Tom.
05:12Oh, right.
05:12Where's the task?
05:13Where do you think it is?
05:14How long are you going to keep doing that voice?
05:16The whole task.
05:23Look composed whilst carrying the most unique items
05:27whilst registering the highest speed.
05:30No vehicles allowed.
05:31Brett would be pissed.
05:32I feel like you've done that on purpose for me.
05:35I'm very annoyed by that, Tom.
05:37He was.
05:39Most composed whilst carrying the most things,
05:42the fastest wins.
05:43If you drop an item, you are disqualified.
05:47You have 10 minutes.
05:48Your time starts now.
05:51Where's the thing?
05:52What thing?
05:53The letter.
05:54The letter?
05:55Where do letters go?
05:56Only there was a particular type of container for such things.
06:01Are you on drugs?
06:02Where do letters go?
06:04Oh, to Santa.
06:07You sent a letter to Santa at Christmas to ask what you want.
06:10No, I'm not saying who do you send letters to.
06:13I'm saying where would a letter go?
06:14The letterbox.
06:15Oh, no way.
06:17So what do you want to do?
06:19Come on.
06:20Oh, but I've got to put a letter in the letterbox?
06:22Put a letter?
06:23I don't know what you mean.
06:25Do you have a letter on you?
06:26I don't have a letter on me.
06:27Do I have to look for the letter?
06:28I mean, it's never been an issue before this.
06:32Why is this so hard?
06:33Have you tried looking?
06:38Oh.
06:43Is that the slowest anyone's ever gotten a letter?
06:46A hundred percent.
06:51Joel, let's just have a moment,
06:53because it's been a tough ride for you this whole show.
06:55So do you want to describe something that you're good at
06:58to the people at home?
07:02Radio ratings.
07:03Yeah!
07:07All right.
07:08Now, who's running while carrying, while looking composed?
07:10Should we look at first?
07:12I assume he's gotten done for speeding before.
07:14Can he do it again?
07:14It's Brett Blake.
07:16Most items.
07:22Most items.
07:23Hundreds of thousands.
07:24Most items.
07:25Most unique items.
07:28I reckon that's still pretty unique.
07:30I reckon that's it.
07:33He looks composed.
07:35Is that composed?
07:36It's up to the taskmaster.
07:37Well, that's him.
07:38What do you reckon, Tom?
07:39Yes!
07:40Brett!
07:41You're killing it!
07:42And you're a way better comedian than me!
07:44Thanks, Tom.
07:45Appreciate it.
07:46Right.
07:47So fastest, holding the most items, looking composed at that camera.
07:54Three, two, one, go!
08:05Hey, Brett!
08:06You've just got five to a thousand points, whatever's the most!
08:11And you rule!
08:12Mwah!
08:13Is that what the taskmaster sounds like?
08:15Who knows?
08:16Probably sounds worse.
08:18Love you, Tom.
08:20Thanks, Brett.
08:26I think it's a great hack.
08:28You definitely look composed, because I look composed.
08:30Correct.
08:31And you're running very fast.
08:32Do we know how fast?
08:33We do.
08:34He was running 22.3 kilometres per hour.
08:36Sounds pretty fast.
08:39How many unique items do you think you're holding?
08:41Well, hundreds of thousands, so literally...
08:43No, unique.
08:45Like, because all the hundreds and thousands in there
08:47are all kind of identical to each other.
08:48They're not unique.
08:49They are unique, because they're all different sizes.
08:52I don't think they are.
08:53And different colours.
08:54I think they are, Tom.
08:55I don't know.
08:55I've eaten fairy bread, and it's not like there's, like,
08:57one's and then...
08:59Now, if we're going down that path, there's a jar,
09:01there's a lid.
09:02Okay.
09:03There's a photo of you.
09:05Okay.
09:06I'll tell you what.
09:07I can give you the jar, not the lid.
09:08The lid's attached to the jar.
09:10So you've got a jar, you've got a portrait of me,
09:12and then you've got hundreds and thousands.
09:14Well, can I get each colour, though?
09:16Nope.
09:17So you've got hundreds and thousands,
09:19and so that means it's full of hundreds and thousands.
09:22Okay.
09:23So there are only two unique items,
09:25but there are several of them.
09:27So I think you have four unique items.
09:29Okay.
09:32I'm calling bullshit, but whatever.
09:35All right, time for a break from these speed demons.
09:38Let's take it slow and steady with the gently-paced,
09:40very well-composed advertisements.
09:42See you soon.
09:55Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia,
09:57where we've just seen footage of Brett Blake break with decades of tradition
10:01and run towards the cots.
10:05That's right.
10:06Our contestants had to carry the most unique items
10:07while registering the highest speed,
10:09all while looking composed.
10:11Next up, being zippy and grippy,
10:13it's Celia and Rove.
10:14Now, I can find something to help me carry unique items.
10:19I mean, this is good.
10:20I'm just going to fill this with stuff.
10:23That's unique.
10:24That could go on me there.
10:26That's good.
10:27That's happening.
10:30Don't go anywhere.
10:32I'm going to get some gravel.
10:34How much time do I have left?
10:36Five minutes and 55 seconds.
10:38Oh, shit.
10:40Dragon.
10:41Candle.
10:42Bell.
10:43Book.
10:44I mean, I'm definitely going to win this, right?
10:46Why do you think that?
10:47Because look how many things I've got.
10:49How long?
10:50Two minutes and 43 seconds.
10:51I thought you said I had one minute.
10:53No, I said five minutes and 55 seconds.
10:54Then why am I racing like an idiot?
11:01I don't mean to bang my own drum, but...
11:05What is my laugh?
11:12Did I miss it?
11:14You missed it.
11:14Oh, my God, Tom, no way!
11:16You're joking.
11:18Sorry.
11:18You're not sorry at all.
11:20You love it.
11:21You loved it.
11:22You saw your little countdown thing.
11:24God damn it.
11:25Oh, hello, candles.
11:28A dragon.
11:29A fish.
11:31Staring it.
11:33Is my time up?
11:34Thanks, Rob.
11:35Thanks.
11:36Thanks, Tom.
11:45I think we both learned a valuable lesson.
11:48What?
11:49Never trust the cops.
11:52I've been saying that for years.
11:54So, Celia, the other day you thought you'd done a task rather quickly and it took an hour and ten.
11:59Yes, I think we can agree that I have, is there a number dyslexia? Because I might have that.
12:03Also, Tom, her vagina nearly fell out.
12:06Yes, Tom.
12:12But let's not get off track, that's only one unique item.
12:17Thank you, that's the kindest thing anyone has ever said about it.
12:21Well, did you think it was ten minutes to prepare, is that what you thought?
12:24Yeah.
12:24Were you the same, Rove?
12:25Oh, no.
12:27You turned into an old man muddling about in a shed.
12:31When the whistle was blown, you were muttering, hello, candles, a dragon, a fish.
12:41They were obviously both disqualified, but I feel like I want to know how fast they ran.
12:45So, Celia had 32 things and walked at 6.9 kilometres per hour.
12:49And Rove had 14 things and walked at 2.2 kilometres per hour back to his dressing room.
12:59Who have we got left?
13:00Our next contestants to keep calm and carry are Anissa and Joel.
13:04Well, carrying, that word can mean lots of different things, can't it?
13:07What kind of things can it mean?
13:08Well, I'm carrying a lot of emotional baggage.
13:15I've got a pig.
13:16I've got a bird.
13:17A garden gnome.
13:18Um, I feel like garden gnomes are baristas in an alternate universe.
13:23Don't you reckon?
13:25No.
13:26Sports ball?
13:28Separate ball?
13:30Ah!
13:31Ah!
13:31Tennis racket?
13:32What were those noises?
13:33That's how I play tennis.
13:35Sexually.
13:35Do you find that sexual?
13:38You're weird.
13:39How much time do I have?
13:40Two minutes and 26 seconds.
13:42Time to hit the road.
13:43Oh, no, I've over-packed the bag.
13:45Ready?
13:46Yep.
13:46Compose.
13:58Oh!
14:00Oh!
14:03No!
14:04That's a stethoscope.
14:10Fudge!
14:11How did it fall?
14:17Am I disqualified?
14:19You'll find out.
14:20Just remember the emotional baggage I was carrying there.
14:23How many items of emotional baggage?
14:24400. Wow.
14:30Anissa, I feel like I want to hear more about your garden gnome theory.
14:34They just look like baristas!
14:37And they're always just like...
14:38What?
14:40And baristas are quite attractive.
14:42And I see a garden gnome, I'm like, maybe.
14:49So if you hadn't dropped the stethoscope,
14:51I would have been happy to accept your 400 items of emotional baggage
14:54because they all would have been unique.
14:56If anything, I thought it was on the low side.
14:59Joel, you had 421 items,
15:02if we're including the emotional baggage,
15:03and an unimpressive speed of 8.1 kilometres per hour.
15:07That was the parachute holding you back.
15:08Oh, so you would have been fanging it without the parachute then.
15:11And this had 32 items
15:14and it was travelling 21.5 kilometres per hour.
15:18Alright, so Brett wins, and all the others get zero.
15:20Exactly. Zero, zero, zero, zero.
15:22Five points for Brett Blake.
15:23Yes! Hundreds of thousands!
15:27Do you think you can give us the overall scores for the episode?
15:30Sealy's on fire, but Brett's out in front with nine points.
15:35Time for a new one then.
15:37This next task is reminiscent of the song
15:39Dick In A Box by Justin Timberlake,
15:41except the rest of my body is in the box too.
15:49altob켓E
15:57BUP-MAVIS Ba,
15:59ba, ba, ba, ba. Ba,
16:01ba, ba, ba- deeds
16:02Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee Dee
16:04Tom!
16:06Where's that cheeky boy?
16:09Where's Tom?
16:10Well, well, well, what have we here?
16:14Mmm.
16:15Oh.
16:16Is he in the box?
16:18You trapped in the box Tom.
16:22Oh, he's in the box!
16:24Hell yeah dude!
16:26Release Tom from the box.
16:28You may not tamper with or damage the box.
16:32Boring!
16:33You may only take one key to the box at a time,
16:36and the bowl must remain where it is.
16:39Fewest keys tried wins. Your time starts now.
16:42Well, look, this is putting a very big inference
16:45on the fact that I want Tom released from the box.
16:51So, pretty simple. Lesser Tom's in the box.
16:53There's a bowl of keys.
16:54They need to use the least keys to get him out.
16:56That's right.
16:57Pretty much that.
16:58Also, you can't damage the box.
17:00Nope.
17:00We specifically put that there because of Brett Blake.
17:04We were worried he would drop an elbow onto one.
17:07Tase!
17:10Alright.
17:11Let's see you unbox then, Lesser Tom.
17:14Who's first?
17:15I got a strong impression they liked it when I was in there,
17:17so call them torn about releasing me.
17:19It's Brett and Rove.
17:20I can see we have symbols on the keys.
17:23I can see books.
17:25I can see telephones.
17:27I can see ears.
17:30Interesting.
17:30Are you actually in there, Tom?
17:32He's not in there, is he?
17:34I'm in here.
17:34You are in there, dude.
17:36Is it suck in there or what?
17:38Who's to say that's the box that Tom is in?
17:43No, I don't think you're in the box.
17:45I think there's a speaker in there.
17:46I'm in the box.
17:48Nah.
17:48Tom, what's two plus two?
17:51Four.
17:52Maybe he's in the box.
17:57What does this all mean?
17:59Oh, this says box key.
18:01Let's try that one.
18:04Oh.
18:07What I'm thinking is, if this says box key,
18:10what is the box?
18:11The box key?
18:12What's a box key?
18:13This is a box, isn't it?
18:15That's a box, is it?
18:16Or is it a plinth?
18:18Fragile.
18:19Handle with care.
18:20Oh, my God.
18:21I don't get this one.
18:22There's always something hidden in these games.
18:25The box.
18:26What's a box?
18:27Is this a box?
18:30Oh, wait.
18:31There's a little lock hiding down here.
18:35Oh, yeah.
18:36Yeah, you assholes.
18:41Oh, shit!
18:50Thanks, Tom.
18:52Dude, that's creepy as hell in here.
18:54Tom was watching pornos in here, by the way.
18:57I wasn't watching pornos.
18:58Nah, he was.
18:59I saw it.
19:00I wasn't.
19:00I won.
19:01Thanks, Tom.
19:06So, something that caught my interest was, Brett,
19:08why did asking what two plus two was confirm that he was in the box?
19:14I thought it might have been a pre-recording.
19:17So, because I kept asking normal questions and he'd be like,
19:20yeah, I'm in the box.
19:21And I was like, oh, well, what's two plus two?
19:22Because that would maybe, like, throw him off.
19:25And then he's like, four.
19:26I was like, yeah, he's there.
19:28Okay.
19:28By the way, he was watching a porno.
19:31Ro, you did really well.
19:33I mean, then you found the box key straight away.
19:34You worked that out.
19:35Yeah, opened it up.
19:35Found him.
19:36Gave him a porno to watch.
19:37And, um...
19:39Now, there was a fragile sticker there.
19:41Yeah.
19:42What did it say on it?
19:43It said, fragile, and then in small writing,
19:45is how you may feel when you learn Tom is not in this box.
19:49That's so rude.
19:49Now, I suspect that was one of many clues.
19:51Were there other clues?
19:52The keys that were red had...
19:54Some had a book, some had an ear and a phone.
19:56That meant red-hearing, i.e. red-herring,
19:59as in these don't do anything relevant either.
20:00Stop!
20:02Ro solved it within 11 minutes and 44 seconds.
20:05And Brett got me out of there in eight minutes and three seconds.
20:08APPLAUSE
20:10The way we're measuring this task is how many keys were used,
20:14and you both just used one key.
20:15The best you could possibly do.
20:16All right, add time.
20:17If you're holding any captives under lock and key,
20:19now would be a great time to let them out.
20:21See you soon.
20:24APPLAUSE
20:33Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster,
20:35where we're watching comedians do the unthinkable
20:36and release the virus known as Tom Cashman out into the world.
20:40That's right.
20:41Our contestants are trying to free me from a box,
20:43but first they have to find me.
20:44Next up, they love freedom, but can they free Tom?
20:47It's Anissa and Celia.
20:48The locks look red from here.
20:50I'm going to try a red ear.
20:52Hi, Anissa.
20:53Hi.
20:53I'm stuck in a box.
20:54Oh, no.
20:56I just opened a lock.
20:57I just opened a lock.
20:58That's good news.
20:59That's great news.
21:00Yeah, okay.
21:01I think the red keys is the guy.
21:03I'm coming to save you in about one hour and 30 minutes.
21:07Ah-ha-dee, gotcha.
21:09Hello!
21:10Oh!
21:10What the hell?
21:12Are you up there?
21:12Where are you?
21:13Are you not in there, you trickster?
21:16Tom, where are you?
21:17I'm in the box.
21:18You're not in the box.
21:19Is there clues in this box?
21:21All the information you need is in the task.
21:23Goddammit.
21:24Dammit!
21:25Of course there's another box.
21:27Surely.
21:30Surely he can't fit in there.
21:31I know you're close.
21:32Where are you?
21:34There's no box.
21:36There is no box.
21:37I don't think there's anything in there.
21:39The van is boxless.
21:42Tom!
21:43When I find you, I'm going to bash you, Tom.
21:47Do you have your phone with you?
21:49Yeah.
21:50Alright, I'm calling you on WhatsApp.
21:52I bloody tapped this thing.
21:54You absolute...
21:56She...
21:57I tapped this, Tom!
21:59Ah!
22:01Shut up!
22:03Oh, my God.
22:04You forced me.
22:04You were stuck in there for so long.
22:06You just ripped the lock off.
22:09Where are you, bro?
22:13Maybe I'm missing something.
22:16Why are you making me exercise, Tom?
22:23I don't know where you get paid, but it's not enough to be in that tiny coffin box for that
22:28long.
22:29Well, you're welcome, Tom.
22:31Can I go get some snacks?
22:32I'm hungry.
22:35I don't even care about Tom like that.
22:48You're free, my guy.
22:49Do you even want to get out?
22:51I'm okay.
22:52I feel like I've searched for you everywhere.
22:54Not quite.
22:57Oopsie.
22:58They wouldn't lock you underground.
22:59They wouldn't do that.
23:00I'm going to bash you, Tom.
23:02Why?
23:04Sorry, may I say that again?
23:06Why would you bash me?
23:07You're right here!
23:08I said they wouldn't bury you underground.
23:11I overestimated their morality.
23:12That was my bad.
23:15Oh!
23:19That's frustratingly annoying.
23:23Oh.
23:24Hi, Nisa.
23:25You sweet boy, I'm sorry.
23:29That's crazy.
23:36So, Nisa, when you were walking around with the speaker, I thought of some weird kind of Tom Hanks Wilson
23:41relationship that you'd formed, which is a reference to a film you've never seen.
23:47And I spoke to you for hours!
23:50Well, it felt like hours.
23:51Has she not suffered enough, Tom?
23:55How was she had to talk to him?
23:58So long!
23:59I took it for so long!
24:01Sorry.
24:02Do you want a hug?
24:06And I'm mad because I didn't know Bogan's were good at stuff, but now I'm like, at the end of
24:10the world, I need a Bogan.
24:16Celia, how did you come to find him?
24:18Can I just say, I hated that so much.
24:20That broke me.
24:21That made it look like it was not a very long time, but I felt like that went on and
24:25on.
24:25And then I thought I should call him and it was very awkward because I realised I don't have your
24:29number because we are not friends.
24:31And then it just really, really upset me and then eventually I found it, which is where I got the
24:37superhuman strength to rip that concrete thing out of the ground because I was livid.
24:41Yeah.
24:42Did you damage the box?
24:43I burnt it afterwards.
24:44I was furious.
24:45I'm going to ask you again.
24:47Think very carefully.
24:48Did you damage the box?
24:51No.
24:51No, just the padlock, really.
24:53I want to go home.
24:53Just the padlock.
24:54Are you all helping her?
24:55She didn't do anything.
24:56What am I going to do at this point?
24:57As a group?
24:57No.
24:58Alright, so what?
24:59You're the jury now and I'm the judge.
25:00And your return to verdict, all of you, you have decided that she has not damaged the box.
25:05Yes.
25:05I would say she damaged the lock, but not the box.
25:07See, what you've done is you've tried to rip us apart, but we have become a community.
25:10We've come stronger!
25:15Five against two.
25:17Five against two.
25:18You know what you've done?
25:20You've coalesced into one giant idiot.
25:22Yeah!
25:23Yeah!
25:24Thanks, Tom.
25:26Okay, well, I'm happy to count that.
25:27Okay.
25:27How many keys are we looking at?
25:29Well, I'll tell you the times first, so Celia lost...
25:31I asked for keys!
25:33Celia lasted two full weather condition changes and took 50 minutes and 35 seconds.
25:39That's alright.
25:40That's pretty good.
25:41Celia used 14 keys and then didn't even need one.
25:43She just ripped the flint off the ground.
25:45Anissa took a frustratingly annoying one hour and 53 minutes and 59 seconds.
25:51So it felt like hours because it was hours.
25:54You're so mean, you talked to me for two hours, blabbing!
25:58So he was trapped in a box for an hour and 50 and you think he's mean?
26:03You just happily munched on snacks for ages while he was trapped.
26:08So Anissa tried 24 keys in total.
26:11So that's 14 for Celia, 24 for Anissa.
26:14We heard the 24.
26:17Okay, now we've got one left and I just can't wait.
26:21Last up, is he all about the mainstream or does he have time for someone like me who's a bit
26:26underground?
26:26It's Joel Creasy.
26:28You could be in here a long time.
26:31Is this really dumb?
26:32Is it only the red keys that work?
26:34I reckon...
26:35F***ing red keys!
26:37Got it completely under control.
26:40Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
26:42Hello?
26:47Are you kidding me?
26:48He's not even in there!
26:50Release Tom from the box.
26:51Is there another box?
26:52Tom?
26:53Oh, this is ridiculous.
26:55All the information you need is in the task.
26:57It's not though.
26:57I reckon you made a typo.
26:59Do you want me to release a CD single called Tom from the box?
27:03Are you in there?
27:05No.
27:06My brain's not working.
27:08I've looked around the...
27:12I've looked around the garden.
27:13Would you suggest, Tom, that I like go look in the house?
27:17All the information you need is in the task.
27:22Where did you say that from?
27:23Say it again.
27:25Hello, I'm Tom.
27:26I think I'm going crazy.
27:28Say hello, I'm Tom again.
27:30Hello, I'm Tom.
27:31Oh, that... are you...
27:35Are you kidding me?
27:37Are you in there?
27:38I hate this so much.
27:40How are you...
27:41Release Tom from the box.
27:45I reckon you're inside.
27:47Just on a microphone.
27:53God.
27:54Tom?
27:55Yeah?
27:56Where are you?
27:56I'm in the box.
27:57Has anyone just left before?
28:01Please don't leave me in the box.
28:02I might have to.
28:04And some would say it's your fault.
28:06Release Tom from the box.
28:09Tom?
28:10Yeah?
28:11Hi.
28:11I don't know what to do.
28:13I'm missing something that's probably going to be so obvious to everyone and everyone's
28:17going to call me an idiot.
28:18I'll probably cry.
28:19At this point I prefer to get me out of here.
28:22I'm forfeiting.
28:24You're forfeiting?
28:25Yeah.
28:26Thanks, Joel.
28:28Are you going to appear now?
28:29No.
28:30Does that mean you stay in the box?
28:32I guess.
28:34Okay, bye.
28:34Bye, Joel.
28:45So, your logic's not ridiculous.
28:47There was a speaker in one box, so did you just think there was a speaker in the plinth
28:50as well?
28:51Yeah, I just assumed that was another speaker.
28:52And then you just thought you had to go and find Tom with a microphone somewhere?
28:55Yeah, I thought he was in a box.
28:57Quite literally.
28:59Just like the sign on the box, I too am fragile at this point.
29:05Anyway, he forfeited.
29:07As we know, that's minus one.
29:09Yep.
29:09Am I negative points now?
29:11You are, for this episode, currently on zero.
29:14Yeah, so you went all the way up to one, and now you're all the way back down to zero.
29:20Heartless.
29:22So, just so you know, Joel took one hour and 11 minutes and 43 seconds.
29:27Am I Joel?
29:31Is that me?
29:32Yes, Joel, you are Joel.
29:35I'm having a mental break.
29:36You've unravelled.
29:38I'm having a minty bee on national television.
29:40Here it is, world.
29:41You're welcome.
29:42Alright, so what were the scores for the task overall?
29:44So we got minus one to Joel.
29:46We got two points to Anissa, using 24 keys.
29:48Celia used 14 keys, so she gets three points.
29:51And then Rove and Brett both only used one.
29:53They get five points apiece.
29:55Okay.
29:56Let's see another task, Lesser Tom.
29:58We all have that one that got away.
30:01For example, I missed out on the perfect park yesterday.
30:03A scary bird was perched right next to it.
30:05I had to loop the block and was late to my assertiveness class.
30:09LAUGHTER
30:23Greetings, old friend.
30:26Hi, Rob.
30:27This for me?
30:28Yeah.
30:29Oh, that's terrifying.
30:30Ooh, looks dangerous.
30:35Show the one that got away what they missed out on.
30:39This is my task.
30:40Most shown what was missed out on wins.
30:45You have 30 minutes.
30:47Your time starts now.
30:51Like a fish?
30:53My initial instinct is exes.
30:56I love going through men's phones.
30:59What?
31:00I think they dodged a bullet.
31:02First tongue kiss.
31:04All I remember about him is he had one earring and we called him pirate guy.
31:08I was like, what's your Netflix password?
31:09An idiot had the same password for everything.
31:11So I'd been in his phone for about two years.
31:14How do you reflect on that now?
31:15I think I'm a clever little bitch.
31:17It took me a while to grow into my nose, Tom.
31:20So until I was like 16, I couldn't really breathe through my nose.
31:23So making out was like a life or death situation for me.
31:26Jobs I haven't got.
31:27I auditioned to be the voice of Daffy Duck.
31:30I didn't get that job.
31:31Could I hear you, Daffy?
31:33You're disrespectful.
31:35One, I can breathe through my nose now.
31:36So we're going to show that.
31:39And two, I'm going to be a pirate lady.
31:40I'm going to show what that fish missed out on.
31:49So it's pretty simple.
31:50You just have to show the one that got away what they missed out on.
31:53Yeah.
31:53That's pretty much it.
31:54Make them a bit jealous.
31:54Alright, who's first?
31:55Kicking us off, it's Joel Creasy.
31:57Oh my God, is he still in that box?
32:04Tom?
32:07Can I ever see him again?
32:11I haven't PTSD seen the box.
32:14Tom?
32:16Hi Joel.
32:18Okay, I've now started another task, but I haven't finished this task.
32:22Okay.
32:23You've got 25 minutes and 54 seconds left.
32:25Do you have any ideas?
32:27Well, you're the one that got away.
32:30I haven't moved.
32:31What did I miss out on?
32:32A banana.
32:33I'm going to make you a beautiful banana surprise.
32:37Wow, thank you.
32:38Look at this.
32:40I'm going to use this task as part of your banana surprise.
32:44Are you still in that box as well?
32:46All the information you need is in the previous task.
32:48I know!
32:52I'm going to threaten them, like I've done all my boyfriends.
32:55He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he.
32:58Banana surprise around the edge for him.
33:02That bloody task can go on there.
33:05And to really show what I do to my victims?
33:11Quite happy with that.
33:18Oh, mate.
33:21On Taskmaster, we love it when a task bleeds into another task.
33:25Okay, so Tom Cashman was the one that got away.
33:28And what did you make him a banana treat?
33:30A banana surprise.
33:31Banana surprise.
33:31At this point, I was having, um, a panic attack.
33:34And, um, I saw the two big bananas on either side of the plinth,
33:38so I panicked and said the words banana surprise and committed to it.
33:43What I'm looking for is the most shown or the best shown?
33:46Most shown, what was missed out on wins.
33:49Oh.
33:49Well, you missed out.
33:50I missed out on a banana surprise.
33:51And you got to see the banana surprise.
33:53Yeah.
33:53Did you like the look of it?
33:54I looked disgusting.
33:57So what am I now, negative 14 or something?
34:01Don't get ahead of yourself.
34:03I can't, can I?
34:04I keep going backwards.
34:11How long were you in the box at this stage for?
34:14Do you know?
34:14I mean, that was like half an hour later.
34:16There's set up times between each task.
34:18In between tasks, I had a nap.
34:23So did I.
34:27All right.
34:28Time for some ads.
34:29Come back soon to see who's going to win a bucket
34:32that Celia Pakuala's been salting herself in.
34:46Welcome back to Taskmaster.
34:47Bring us up to speed, Lesser Tom.
34:50Our contestants are trying to show the one that got away
34:52what they missed out on.
34:53Most shown what was missed out on wins.
34:55Up next.
34:56Proving herself to a guy with an earring
34:57who she patched once.
34:59It's Celia Pakuala.
35:02Arr!
35:05Jeremy Trenner!
35:08You've got three minutes and 20 seconds left.
35:09Oh, shit!
35:10Are you serious?
35:11Oh, my God.
35:11OK.
35:11It's a pirate.
35:15Don't you...
35:16I think I might need glasses.
35:18Uh, what's that third word?
35:21Don't you pray your girlfriend...
35:23Don't you wish your girlfriend was pirate like me?
35:27I'll never swab your deck.
35:29What?
35:30The wench that got away.
35:32And that's you, presumably.
35:33And you're breathing through your nose this whole time?
35:35Mm-hmm.
35:36Are you missing me?
35:38That's a question.
35:39You missed out on this pirate boot bootie.
35:43Oh, shit.
35:44We'd hate to get that pirate bootie wet.
35:46Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
35:48He's gonna be spewing.
35:49Do you think that maybe he was wearing one earring
35:52because he was, like, a cool Melbourne guy,
35:53not because he was a pirate?
35:54Probably.
35:55But, you know, nickname's stick, Tom.
35:57You wear one earring,
35:58you've got to expect something like this is gonna happen.
36:01Being a pirate is exhausting.
36:08Do you think you showed pirate guy what he was missing out on Celia?
36:12Sure.
36:13Check out these working nasal cavities.
36:15That's right.
36:17I have a theory.
36:18Yeah?
36:18I reckon you never kissed that guy.
36:20And the fact that you lied about it is why your nose was so big.
36:25No, I know that's not true because I have a terrible memory
36:28but this is a very specific memory because it was a first tongue kiss
36:31and I was like, I don't think it's meant to drip.
36:35It was gross.
36:36It was real sloppy.
36:38A slobbery time.
36:40You'll find out when you kiss.
36:43Let's see another one, Cashman.
36:45Settling a score with none other than a Looney Tune voiceover casting process.
36:49It's Rovan McManus.
36:57How are you, medical practitioner?
36:59You stupid rabbit.
37:01What are you doing out?
37:02Don't you know it's rabbit season?
37:04Duck season.
37:06Rabbit season.
37:07Duck season.
37:08Rabbit season.
37:11Fire.
37:19You're despicable.
37:22That's all, folks.
37:27Are you using this show as an audition tape?
37:30I've won in my heart at this point, Tom.
37:33That was a dream come true.
37:34Did you even know that Tom Cashman had the voiceover skills that he had?
37:37No, I was very impressed.
37:38He gets an audition as well and gets cast.
37:41I reckon you look pretty hot in that rabbit costume.
37:47Who cares?
37:50Who's next?
37:51Taking aim at X's, one of the many characters in her old boyfriend's password,
37:55it's Anissa Nandola.
37:58Anissa's been using someone else's Netflix account for years.
38:02Yeah, I'm a leech.
38:04Could have been yours.
38:06Anissa has 40k worth of debt.
38:09Yeah, I'm broke.
38:10Could have been yours.
38:12Anissa has six side hairs on the roster.
38:14Fully.
38:15Maybe.
38:17Could have been you.
38:20Anissa's breaking into a guy's house because he won't text back.
38:23You can't hide from me.
38:26This is what you're missing out on.
38:28Anissa could have been yours.
38:36So, Anissa, I suspect you were being self-deprecating.
38:39Yeah.
38:40The way I interpreted it is what someone missed out on
38:43didn't necessarily have to be positive.
38:45You could have missed out on a bad thing.
38:47Would you spend two years in this guy's phone?
38:49All of his passwords were his first name, his last name 123.
38:54Yeah.
38:55Yeah, he's asking for it.
38:56That is an extraordinarily weak password.
38:59He's an idiot, right?
39:01I had to do it to teach him a lesson.
39:03I was a Nigerian scammer.
39:08Alright, if you've been waiting for the right time to text your ex
39:11and try to rekindle the flame of love, now's your chance.
39:14We'll be back after these ads.
39:27Welcome back to Taskmaster Letter Tom, why are we watching a bunch of sad comedians revisit
39:32what could have been?
39:33Because they're trying to show the one that got away what they missed out on.
39:36Taking the task very literally and targeting a fish he failed to catch once, it's Brett
39:40Blake
40:22Why didn't you grab the hook I thought you loved me are you seeing other fishermen?
40:33Why didn't you want to be with me?
40:41And scene.
40:43Wow.
40:43So you took this one very literally, you saw a hawk, you saw the one that got away a fish
40:47and so you showed that fish what it missed out on.
40:50Yeah, essentially throughout that I got to root a fish on TV.
40:54I know.
40:55I think it was...
40:55Cop that Rex Hunt!
40:58I thought it was great, I couldn't tell where you ended and the fish began.
41:02Alright, so one to Joel, that's pretty easy.
41:05Because I checked with you, you were the one that got away and you hated what he had done.
41:09Yeah, it looks gross.
41:10So that was an easy one.
41:11Two to Anissa.
41:12Okay.
41:12Because I'm not sure that that was a good thing to show.
41:18You don't need to maintain eye contact.
41:22Alright, I'm going to give Celia three points.
41:24Because I kind of feel like that pirate guy would feel a little bit jealous but not heaps.
41:29I'm going to give four points to Ro because that job could be yours soon.
41:32Well, thank you Tom.
41:33But five points to Brett Blake because...
41:36What?
41:37What?
41:38It was just amazing.
41:39Okay, so what does that do to the episode scores?
41:42Joel is on one.
41:44But Brett's in the lead with 19 points.
41:48Alright contestants, we're at the business end now.
41:51Please head to the stage for your live task.
41:57Who's reading the task?
41:58Joel.
41:59At this point I'm not sure if I can even read.
42:02While swearing your goggles, toss your pikelet...
42:05Yum!
42:08..onto the stage closest to your teammate's pikelet.
42:12Your tosses must be in response to a statement you will hear before throwing.
42:17Both teammates must toss within three seconds of hearing the statement
42:21and may not give any clues of where they are tossing.
42:25There will be four rounds each.
42:27Most rounds won wins.
42:30I read it.
42:31Can someone explain it to me?
42:33You're basically trying to predict what the other person thinks.
42:36So your answer has to match.
42:38Joel and Celia, please step up.
42:40I haven't thrown a pikelet for years.
42:43Okay.
42:44It's okay to eat food that's fallen on the floor if you pick it up fast enough.
42:49Three, two, one, throw!
42:51I don't know exactly what Celia's thinking.
42:54You do a stand-up bit about that, Celia!
42:59The team of two.
43:00Get ready.
43:02That's cheating.
43:04Question.
43:05It doesn't really matter how you stack a dishwasher.
43:07Three, two, one, throw!
43:10Oh!
43:11That was not at the same time.
43:14I forgot!
43:14I forgot!
43:15Get out!
43:15That is a disqualification for the team of two.
43:19Strongly disagree.
43:21Round one goes to the team of three.
43:23It's time for round two.
43:25Brett and Joel, you should introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you on a plane.
43:30Three, two, one, throw!
43:34Oh, come on!
43:35One!
43:37You're disqualified for two reasons.
43:39One, the pikelet went off the end.
43:40Two, you didn't throw it at the same time.
43:41Sit back down.
43:42There we go.
43:44Also, for three reasons, you said, I don't know how to throw that far.
43:48Suggesting where you were about to throw it.
43:50Sit on the bench.
43:53Please take your pikelets.
43:55Three, two, one, throw.
43:57That's it.
43:57Three, two, one, throw.
44:00That's still good.
44:01A cruise ship holiday sounds lovely.
44:04Three, two, one, throw.
44:08The team of two win round two.
44:10That was pretty good.
44:13OK, we've got to have a break so you can go and get a pikelet yourself.
44:18See you soon.
44:25OK, put down the pikelet.
44:32Who have you got next?
44:34We're in the middle of a pikelet throwing opinion based game and it's one point apiece.
44:38Can I please ask Celia and Brett to step up?
44:40Come on!
44:46Motorsports isn't sport because the driver is sitting down.
44:50Three, two, one.
45:06The team of three are disqualified this round.
45:09Rove and Anissa, please step up.
45:12Western Australia is a top two state.
45:14Three, two, one, throw.
45:20That'll do.
45:24What?
45:25You're just kind of celebrating not getting disqualified, aren't you?
45:29It's the final round.
45:32It's normal to kiss your parents on the lips.
45:35Three, two, one, throw.
45:39Different times.
45:41Clearly different times.
45:42Yes!
45:44Different times.
45:45Clearly different times.
45:47That was different time.
45:48That was the same time!
45:49That was the same time!
45:50That was the same thing!
45:51I went back!
45:53The team of three are disqualified for this round.
45:57We're looking for plop or plop-plop, but not plop-plop.
46:03That's exactly what my doctor said last week.
46:07Okay, are we ready?
46:08Yes, sir.
46:09You can bag the parking spot by standing there if it's your sister's birthday and you've ordered a fairy floss
46:13cart,
46:14and the fairy floss cart is running 15 minutes late and there are no other parks.
46:17Three, two, one, throw.
46:20Oh, no!
46:21Different time!
46:23That was close enough.
46:24Yeah!
46:32All right, we're close to the end.
46:34Just come on down here so we can score this bastard.
46:40Okay.
46:42So, Lessa Tom, in the live task, did anyone get any points at all?
46:46Yeah.
46:47Just to be clear, that task was designed to learn a little bit about our contestants on controversial topics,
46:52perhaps ignite some fun debate at home.
46:53Instead, it became, who can throw a pikelet on go?
46:57The distances were completely irrelevant as one team was disqualified every single round.
47:02Not one person mused on any of the topics.
47:06The drive show won one round, they take one point, and breakfast show, they got three rounds, they get three
47:11points each.
47:12Oh!
47:16So, who's won our episode?
47:18I think it goes without saying.
47:26In terms of the episode, it's a record score for an episode for all of English-speaking Taskmaster, Joel, it's
47:33a record low, two points.
47:35Oh!
47:36Woo!
47:37Woo!
47:40Woo!
47:41How are you doing?
47:41Roe had 15, and a big win for Brett Blake with 20 points.
47:45Woo!
47:46Okay!
47:48Congratulations to Brett.
47:50Please head up to the stage
47:52to collect your five most beautiful damp things.
47:57But what have we learned?
47:59We were disgustingly taught by Brett
48:01what doggy style with a fishy partner looks like.
48:04And it took some time,
48:06but the lesson that Tom was in the box
48:08was learned by all the competitors
48:10who are still in the competition.
48:14After a massive victory,
48:16good on you once more to our winner, Brett.
48:23It's good!
48:24It's so good!
48:25Why the caviar?
48:29Oh, yeah, the caviar.
48:31I've never had this.
48:34Oh, my God.
48:46Hail Tom, the taskmaster.
48:49Oh, that was bad.
48:51This was like having a bogan toddler.
48:53I swear to God.
48:54Come on, come on, come on.
48:56Joel, do you feel like a winner?
48:58I did until I signed on to the show.
49:01You got to have the night,
49:01I think the showdown.
49:01That's what I'm here saying,
49:02We're going to push over a couple.
49:02I'm going to go down here.