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00:01Right, that was the weirdest way to grab a remote ever.
00:03Why would you go between my legs?
00:05Just wait the extra seconds and I sit...
00:07Why did you do that?
00:08That was the weirdest...
00:09That was horrible.
00:11That was...
00:12Never do that again.
00:13That's...
00:13Do you want me to put it back?
00:15I feel like these are...
00:15I put it back!
00:16I put it back!
00:17I put it back!
00:22That was a cream!
00:24My hook!
00:25This steam tube doesn't have to make you dance so, doesn't it?
00:28Yeah.
00:30Is it a truth?
00:32Or is it a lie?
00:33That's what I do with my problems.
00:36What?
00:37No!
00:37No!
00:38No!
00:38The teeth are so bright!
00:40Ah!
00:40My eyes!
00:41Ah!
00:42I love a guide dog!
00:44Oh!
00:45Ah!
00:46Let's just put some blusher on her, someone punched her.
00:50Oh Nigel, let's give up this showbiz life and go and live on a canal boat.
00:55Yeah.
00:56In the week the World Cup kicked off in Mexico, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:04It was all a bit of fun in the sun on ITV2.
01:07What do you mean by got with? Are we talking just like kissing or are we talking like...
01:10Oh my God, if it was just kissing, you would literally be off the rails.
01:13I feel like you would be as well.
01:14No!
01:15Are you not like that?
01:16Are you not like that?
01:17If my mother saw me have sex on TV, I don't think either of us would ever recover.
01:20My mum still doesn't know I've had sex and I'm having my fourth child.
01:24You're my surrogate.
01:26They've been implanted.
01:28They were still finding things to talk about on This Morning.
01:31Well, let me say good morning to the people.
01:33Morning everyone, how are you?
01:34Good morning to our lovely audience.
01:36Welcome to your Fridays This Morning.
01:37We used to go on this when it was Richard and Judy up in Liverpool.
01:42Yeah, I've been on this as well.
01:43Did you model on it?
01:44Yeah.
01:44I modelled on it?
01:45Yeah.
01:46Oh my God, that's so funny.
01:47Somewhere there's footage of us separately because we never met, did we?
01:50Modelling on This Morning.
01:52How mad is that for Richard and Judy?
01:53I know, your family would video it.
01:56They'd tape, record it on video.
01:57Claire, This Morning.
01:59What did you model on This Morning?
02:00Pearl necklace.
02:03And the professionals were baking the impossible on Channel 4.
02:08Chef, today you must create a stunning biscuit modern landmark.
02:12Oh no, it's a construction.
02:15Yeah, it's a construction.
02:17A biscuit construction.
02:18When do you ever see that except in the window of a baker's?
02:20You don't.
02:21You don't eat it.
02:22Even then.
02:23You don't go, oh God, you know, nip out and get me a biscuit construction.
02:27Make sure it's the Eiffel Tower.
02:30I don't like any other, I don't want the Sydney Opera House, I want the Eiffel Tower.
02:35Oh, I could just do with a cuppa and a Big Ben.
02:46In South London.
02:48It does amaze me though, how different we are like that.
02:51Like I couldn't leave the house without making my bed, I feel quite uncomfortable.
02:55Good friends Vogue and Joanne.
02:57I'd only make my bed if I was, I don't know.
03:02Ever?
03:02I don't even know when, I'm trying to think of like an urgent situation that would require me making my
03:07bed.
03:08Did you not, did you not?
03:09Oh, if I was having a, if there was a boy coming over.
03:11You'd make the bed for a boy.
03:13Actually I don't even have to do that.
03:15No, it's kind of giving a lie.
03:16I would just shag him on the couch.
03:20This week there were more singles sizzling in the sun on ITV2.
03:25I still like to watch a bit of Love Island because it's nostalgic for me.
03:29You still dating?
03:29I've been married for four years.
03:32Sorry, yeah, I forgot.
03:34Um...
03:39Previously on Love Island, the bombshells got their graft on.
03:44Graft, it means like, um, they're working to flirt with someone.
03:50I founded most of this language they use, so I've trademarked it.
03:55I like a bit of eye contact.
03:57Is that Aidan?
03:58That's Aidan.
03:59Yeah.
04:00The teeth!
04:01The teeth!
04:03Ah, my eyes!
04:04So Yasmin come into the house and took Aidan off Ellie and it's all been going on in there.
04:11One boy and one girl said their goodbyes.
04:15So we've decided to dump Ellie and Samraj.
04:19What?
04:19So Ellie and Samraj were dumped from the island yesterday.
04:23Oh, shit!
04:25Ellie and Samraj, it's not over yet.
04:28Is this a joke?
04:31They've been brought back in reverse.
04:32In reverse?
04:33They're back in.
04:34No!
04:34I do like a little twist like that.
04:40Is that two fellas?
04:42No, there's none of that.
04:43There's no gay nonsense in this.
04:48I've already got a headache.
04:50I have no idea what's going on.
04:53If I was going on this, I'm sorry now.
04:55I'd have more plastic in me than a recycling wheelie-burn.
04:59Ellie and Samraj are headed to the hideaway after getting a second chance.
05:03So these was dumped, but they've not really been dumped.
05:07Why were they thrown out in the first place?
05:09Because the two bombshells were on a secret mission.
05:12They were there for 24 hours and in those 24 hours they had to decide who to kick off.
05:18So they chose these two because they fancied their partners.
05:23It's too much to explain to someone.
05:25But you're one of the most well-informed people I've ever met.
05:28I could go on Mastermind talking about Love Island.
05:31And last night leaving, it made me realise,
05:34I do like them.
05:35If we get back in, I'm just going to be bold as fucking brass.
05:39I'm just going to be like, Aidan, let's go.
05:40She's quite aggressive with her going friends.
05:43She's quite hardcore.
05:44Old as fucking brass.
05:45A massive ponytail.
05:47Why are they whispering all the time?
05:49Because they're in the secret hideaway.
05:51Oh, I see, OK.
05:52I've explained that.
05:52OK, but if you're in the secret hideaway, how can anyone hear you?
05:55Because they're just the other side of the wall.
05:57Oh, OK.
05:58Just shut up and watch.
05:59It's not Friend Island.
06:00No.
06:00You're here to find someone.
06:01I like the idea of Friend Island.
06:03I think that would appear to me.
06:04Someone in their 40s.
06:06You know, go on there and make a few new friends.
06:08The way they are acting.
06:10She's got a text.
06:11She's got a text.
06:12She's got a text.
06:14She's got a text.
06:15She's got a text.
06:19Oh, that's a big revelation.
06:20I don't know what's happened.
06:22Ellie and Sam Raj, two bombshells are waiting to date you.
06:25Please get ready.
06:26Are they now going on a date with two new people?
06:28OK.
06:29OK, so they're back in the game.
06:31No need to...
06:35Two new bombshells are here.
06:37Oh, hold on.
06:38Just ignore the voiceover because he's annoying.
06:42I like a confident guy who's a bit of a geezer.
06:45She likes a what?
06:46A confident guy who's a bit of a deal.
06:47Confident guy who's a bit of a geezer.
06:49Oh, a confident guy who's a bit of a geezer.
06:51She likes one of the lads.
06:52This is why I need me subtitles.
06:55I'm Kevin.
06:55I'm 21.
06:56I'm an electrician.
06:57I'm 10.
06:58I've never had an electrician come of the house like that.
07:00Don't worry.
07:01Do you vet them before you let them in?
07:03I always check them out.
07:03Have you turned him away?
07:04I go on checkatrade.com and look at their profile picture and I call them and go,
07:09mate, you're too handsome.
07:10You can't fucking come round here.
07:11The boys better be afraid.
07:14Especially my brother Aidan.
07:16Oh, he's Aidan's brother?
07:18Whoa.
07:19No way.
07:20Hold on.
07:21Does Aidan not know he's coming in?
07:24Does he know Aidan's there?
07:25I don't...
07:26What the fuck is going on?
07:28This is genuinely quite exciting.
07:30See, I told you.
07:31Hello.
07:32How are you?
07:33I'm good.
07:34How are you?
07:34We knew this drama, but this is double drama.
07:36They better not bring his dad and granddad in next.
07:39You see how it works?
07:40Yeah.
07:40It's like a Thomas Hardy novel.
07:42Yeah.
07:42Cheers.
07:43Cheers.
07:43This is exciting.
07:45She's put some blusher on her.
07:46Someone punched her.
07:48What's been going on?
07:51What's not been going on?
07:52It's been a bit crazy, to be fair.
07:53It's been high vibes, a lot of energy.
07:55Do you understand the accent?
07:56No.
07:57Not a word.
07:58She...
07:59I mean, she's great.
08:00She's...
08:00I think she's Scottish.
08:02And she's saying...
08:04She might be, yeah.
08:05...about the vibes.
08:06Yeah.
08:06Anyone you've been, like, getting close to?
08:09Yeah, I've been chatting to Aidan.
08:10Aidan's his brother.
08:11Had a wee kiss and everything like that.
08:13Yeah.
08:13All of that jazz.
08:14Say, Aidan's my brother.
08:15But where are you from?
08:16Kent.
08:17Kent.
08:18Same as Aidan.
08:20There's so many people from Kent there.
08:21What, in the villa?
08:22Yeah.
08:23Oh, my God.
08:25Aidan was your...
08:26Yeah, he's from Kent.
08:28Aidan's my brother.
08:30Aidan.
08:30Aidan's my brother.
08:32Fuck off!
08:35Yes!
08:36Fuck off!
08:37Fuck off!
08:38Fuck off!
08:38Fair play.
08:39That's a great response from her.
08:41Succinct, to the point.
08:42What's your type, then?
08:43I love good teeth, nice style.
08:46That's us fault.
08:47Good teeth.
08:48What's your type?
08:49Like, I don't have, like, a specific.
08:51Teeth's massive.
08:52Yeah.
08:52Nice teeth, nice smile.
08:53Teeth are massive?
08:54Yeah.
08:55Don't make fun of the working classes, Nigel.
08:58Sorry.
08:58How's it feel now where the wires with the power?
09:01Oh, they're going back in.
09:04Oh, now they're walking in.
09:05Aidan's going to see his brother.
09:06Because he's going to know it's his brother, isn't it?
09:08I think so, yeah.
09:11Do you recognise that guy?
09:12Yeah.
09:12Oh, it's my brother.
09:13Oh, my God!
09:16Woo!
09:17Woo!
09:19Woo!
09:22Who is it?
09:23Oh, Aidan's face.
09:25What's going on, bro?
09:26It's coming, brother.
09:28Oh, my God.
09:31My brother's here, my brother.
09:32All right, brother, you brother.
09:33He thought this was his moment.
09:35He's going to be the star of the family.
09:37And now his brother's turned up.
09:41What are you doing here?
09:43What the fuck are you doing here?
09:45Can you imagine the mum?
09:47She'd be like, oh, don't knock him out.
09:49She'd be so proud.
09:50The mum might be on my way in.
09:51You never know.
09:53Might be like, here's your Uncle Geoff.
09:56Oh, my God!
09:58What the hell?
09:59I'm exhausted.
10:00I've got a headache from all the screaming.
10:02I'm absolutely exhausted.
10:03I mean, I'm not going to lie.
10:04It's amazing, isn't it, Love Island?
10:06Yeah.
10:06I'm just so invested in the drama now.
10:09Do you know what this show needs?
10:11What?
10:11A little weird ugly fella coming in and being genuinely honest and a bit funny and a bit cheeky.
10:17You're not ugly.
10:18No, but I'd come in and I'd go, anyone?
10:23And if one of them were said, yeah, I said, right, I'm sticking with you.
10:25Ooh!
10:27Ooh!
10:31Ooh!
10:33In north London, the weather's taking a bit of a turn, hasn't it?
10:37Freezing.
10:38I had to have a blanket over my knees last night.
10:40and my husband is hot at night i'm i'm always cold so i like so there's a conflict you know
10:45julian and his good friend nigel do you know what he did last night well i turned around
10:51i turned over in bed and he said turn the other way he said i can't have you lying there
10:59staring
10:59at me what he said i was trying to go to sleep staring at him better things to do
11:07what did you say in response fuck off on sunday night another bunch of quizzes were playing for
11:14big bucks on itv pop quizzes i don't think i've ever been to one i like the idea you've never
11:19been
11:19to a pub quiz no what like dude i i go to like i've been to those i've been to
11:24a few if there's
11:25a strawberry daiquiri there i'll be there i'm i'm knowing a bit strawberry daiquiri is not a pub
11:29quiz drink mate it's not really it's not really the vibe that's what i'm saying
11:36a little bit you're feeling clever night not particularly who would ever say no
11:42to want this to be a millionaire it would never say no to what i bet there's somebody who's quite
11:48sort of arty you know who he is the big c Clarkson hello and welcome to who wants to be
12:03a millionaire
12:04i'd quite like to present this program you can't be in everything nigel for fuck's sake
12:10in the episode it was jamie from wales who was in the hot seat this is for 100 pounds coming
12:18in easy
12:19putting out there i think i'll get all of these right by the way uh you're on it okay okay
12:23which
12:23boy's name is also an adjective meaning open and honest frank frank before it's even come up you see
12:30you've lost me now there mate i don't i don't know what an adjective is chuck mark frank well done
12:39frank frank yeah fine not nigel that would be frank final answer however easy is this i can even
12:48out and get these right can you imagine getting that wrong you would never live it down it's clearly
12:54d nick this is your thousand pound safety net question okay yeah let's have a look which of these
13:01famous uk bridges is in scotland this is on you fourth fourth so you decide i'd lose i'd have to
13:09phone
13:09a friend and i ring my man she's from glasgow seven bridge no no seven's bristol innit tyne bridge
13:16tyne is newcastle fourth bridge yes fourth bridge yes yeah farth bridge or humber bridge right i'd
13:24just do it in a scotter accent and see what sounds right seven bridge seven bridge time bridge fourth
13:29bridge humber bridge humber bridge it's got to be based on accent it's humber bridge i think i'm gonna
13:38have to ask the audience just to be sure i wonder if the audience does it wrong on purpose that's
13:43so
13:43what do you mean says more about you than the audience had oh you write me oh fourth pledge fourth
13:53bridge final answer and well done audience and well done you that's the correct answer well done
13:59audience pat yourself on the back that's a thousand pounds in the bank here's the eight thousand pound
14:05question which of these is not a variety of potato oh no that could be interesting you'll get this
14:13well i don't know shush russet burbank yeah that's a potato desiree yes that's definitely
14:20a potato yeah that's a potato romanesco yes that's a potato i'm saying romanesco because that's a
14:26cauliflower now it's like cauliflower but with a ball going on well jersey royal that's also a potato
14:32they're all potatoes yeah i'm gonna say romanesco final answer oh she's gone straight into it the right
14:39answer yeah well done thank you oh god we got that wrong we could have been wrong nigel now safety
14:47nest at 16. no i'll keep going thank you go on girl she's answering herself come on which of these
14:54materials is made by buffing the underside of animal hide to create a soft textured finish i feel like i'll
15:02know it when i see it yeah i know it when i see it chiffon no no well chiffon is
15:08crinkly crinkly in it
15:09velvet suede yes suede animal hide it's suede isn't it for sure or moleskin oh no moleskin is not
15:20moleskin no no i think they're putting that obviously like oh is it the skin of a mouth for
15:24like real tickles we're better we're more intelligent we're gonna go sweat think on this one
15:30i'd like to use a 50 50. no no no they'll leave you with suede and old skin okay then
15:36computer could we
15:37take away two wrong answers please of course yeah of course every time bastards i knew they'd do that
15:44that's the two i was between ricky gervais used to manage suede okay would that get me through
15:53if i just hit him with a different bit of knowledge that does mean i'm gonna ask you
15:57oh smarts ask the farmer yeah here's what i think i the underside i don't
16:07lends me to think it's moleskin really he's confident look at that stupid face i've got some
16:15moleskin trousers they're not made of moles they've got a soft texture finish suede
16:21sort of doesn't does it sweet is soft it does it does it does what's the matter with the man
16:28i've
16:28got suede shoes on you don't call those softy i would yes ride it so moleskin can't be the skin
16:34of
16:34moles surely well you and jeremy how many moles you'd have to kill the moles are only this big moleskin
16:41and that is my final answer don't do it don't do it he's an idiot so i will go moleskin
16:48final answer
16:49she's getting moleskin no oh god i'm gonna be wrong if this is wrong now he's gonna feel such a
16:55knob at
16:58oh jeez no suede is the correct answer it's it's created by sanding flesh on the
17:07side of animal hive but i wouldn't have called it soft and textured oh it is yes of course it's
17:12soft
17:12i've got a beautiful soft suede jacket yeah idiot think he'd have known well i can only apologize for
17:18that well your apologies not accepted gentlemen i don't know what to say other than you are leaving
17:24here uh jamie eidman with one thousand pounds thank you there you go that's a grand you didn't have
17:29before that's true do you know what i mean well that wasn't one of the best was it no it
17:34didn't but
17:35good because i had never seen anyone walk away with a grand you're fidgeting away full of beans
17:39today aren't you nigel full of beans yes
17:46in kent is a slight addiction shopping i like to i like to shop at least once a week
17:51what every week you go shopping i'll buy it look like for clothes yeah i'll buy like you know i'll
17:55get a little something for something harry and matt what's your go-to like items you mean like
18:01trousers t-shirt i will be your what's your most frequent purchase my most frequent purchase was i
18:06actually struggle a lot with jeans because as you would know when you've got big thighs like us
18:11the doctors they they tend to chafe and rub the chafing is the issue do you know i get chafe
18:16a
18:16lot if we go away yeah and i go in the sea and i don't want to change in my
18:20shorts i get bad
18:21chafe yeah then i have to walk around like that when you walk around like this yeah yeah that chafe
18:26been there a lot mate mate it hurts people don't realize these adductor problems are real yeah it's
18:30not ideal on friday we kicked off our morning routine in the usual way on itv do you want breakfast
18:38yeah
18:42yeah that's not you out that's it yeah that's it are you an early you're quite oh you are an
18:47early
18:47riser because you'll often message me three times six a.m six a.m i'm like claire's had a coffee
18:54i'm on my second coffee i was just thinking okay
19:03this steam tune don't have to make you dance so doesn't it yeah
19:08save our shippers throw some signs go on mate save our strippers amen
19:16are you having that for breakfast breakfast lunch dinner i love a boiled egg i love a
19:24boiled egg love and soldiers or an omelette plain omelette i make a very good omelette do you make
19:29one i do see you're a good one thing i can do is spinach on that oh divine now is
19:35it outdated to
19:36hire a stripper i had a stripper your 40th my 40th yeah i remember it on tape yeah it was
19:43right
19:43nice broke it was yeah nice do you know how many times people have asked me if i'm a stripper
19:49if i could have a pound for every time someone's into me are you a stripper or have you stripped
19:54i feel that's quite insulting or have you done butter in the buff both hen party organizers and
19:59strippers say bookings for hen parties are now lower than ever before i i like a stripper do you
20:06it's in the in the right situation it can be fun oh yeah just it's awkward but it's also it's
20:11like
20:11you're with you it's with other people as well i just give you one of those strip dances now no
20:15don't do that stop doing that please now going for wellness activities instead of
20:20so it's joined by april todd who owns a hen party business alongside strippers gary maloney and tony
20:25okay oh okay wow look at these guys look at him on them is this us in a different life
20:32that is
20:35quite concerning have you noticed this this is a to be honest i think i'm an exception to the rule
20:40because i'm probably bigger than i've ever been all right cocky he's like yeah i'm great mat 2.0
20:48the most important part is to put everyone at ease and it's about them not you it's about them not
20:52you but when you're standing there with your bits out it's kind of about you yeah i think the one
20:57way
20:57to make sure people are at ease is keep your clothes on and i think that's so so important and
21:02i think
21:02once i've left that i need to know when i've left there they know me as gary the actual person
21:06and not
21:07just the stripper oh bless him sorry bless his heart i'm more than a thong what's he do like when
21:14he's naked just so you know ladies it's gary nice to meet you all you can call me gaz
21:20tony what have you what have you found you're professionally known as seduction oh seduction
21:24is that his birth name do you think seduction can't take him serious with that house i mean similar to
21:32what gary said it's for me i transitioned from dance oh tony's his real name no wonder he calls
21:38himself seduction it's quite hard to concentrate because you can't see his eyes in that big hat
21:44do you ever do celebrities homes if there's anyone celebrities out there got a bit crazy
21:48oh alison getting the gossip oh a bit wonder if he is send him around yeah but he ain't going
21:53to
21:54disclose that is he well let's find out but i was dancing with amanda holden last week
21:58oh i knew she'd come that man yeah man dude she's a filthy man man dude we did panto with
22:06amanda
22:06holden yeah we certainly did do you know what she has for lunch five grapes and i was with the
22:11danny
22:12dyers both of them oh yeah he had both the dannys oh my god did he just say danny dyer
22:16then and um
22:17and he was yeah he enjoyed the lap time what would you do though b if if if if if
22:23gary the the stripper
22:24turned up at a party i don't i fucking know you you're gary the stripper yeah you're a stripper
22:31yeah don't gary the stripper i've seen you on the cellar on this morning on this morning yeah
22:44in essex there's two types of parents liars yeah and honest ones yeah the honest ones are me yeah
22:51summer holidays are hard and the liars go all that time my children oh it's just beautiful
22:57i'm terrified best mates jordan and perry i've run out of things to do in the first three though
23:03haven't you so it's it's a lot the first three days i run out of things to do okay then
23:07if we're
23:08lucky enough we go on holiday and that's just parenting in the sun it's the same stuff at home
23:12but just right on a sundown with an audience because everyone's then looking at you they should
23:17do more like remember like american tv they do like camps and stuff yes i'd send my kids to a
23:22camp would you yeah man okay absolutely but you got from birth or just well that's called adoption
23:29on tuesday night the creme dilly creme we're at it again on channel four jaw beating technique okay
23:38oh like this right whoa whoa whoa oh okay i thought you were about to
23:44oh you scared me there for a moment i only eat the top no i actually enjoy cooking
23:51but i'm not very good at it you make a nice soup don't you i make a very nice soup
23:56and no chewing involved
24:02bake off the professionals i could never do this oh no this this is when like it levels up yeah
24:10here they come he's benoit and she's cherished and they are top of their game chef today you must
24:18create a stunning biscuit modern landmark oh a landmark made a biscuit i'd do the lloyd's build
24:25this is the one i do oh yeah you love lloyd's i do stonehenge because that's quite easy you just
24:30get
24:30some of those um sponge fingers fingers yeah and then put them all like that with a sponge finger
24:35across the top we're done we're done anything to add chef today you must also make 12 petits gato
24:42what petty cattle any type of food sounds better french yeah of course it does do you know what i
24:49mean that's course it does like sausage roll yeah sounds nicer than what you have in sausage roll
24:54because frenchie's like the the most perfect accent yeah but like imagine imagine you know
24:58today i'm going to make uh benzo and sauce yeah you know that sounds nicer chefs you had one hour
25:06to
25:06prep last night you now have a further four hours to complete this challenge well they've got four
25:11hours to do all this nigel god tell me we're not gonna have to watch it for four hours no
25:15please no
25:15you see this is why i don't like baking good morning what you're going to make for your mother lemma
25:22we have a frenchman on the team so we're making the louvre and surrounding buildings at the louvre and
25:27surrounding buildings with the pyramids good lord are they gonna do our chocolate i see chocolate there
25:33could you be bothered no paying homage to the world's largest art museum will and sophia will
25:39surround their louvre landmark oh that looks nice doesn't it oh they've got to do all the outbuildings
25:44around the loo as well we've we thought that we're just doing the triangle
25:52decorated with white chocolate paints and filled with a baobab and tangy passion fruit compote insert
25:58oh nice a baobab what's a baobab i have no idea will loves to use baobab because i'm really interested
26:05in products that prove your health okay so that's also why we've gone with cocoa and burdock biscuit
26:10and burdock yeah i've got a semi watching that frenchman it's just the voice are we gonna taste
26:17the bollocks mollocks she said bollocks you don't want to taste that hen no yeah she can taste the
26:31bollocks if she wants the pyramid it's a difficult design it's ambitious we are very behind oh look at
26:38what is that what is that mate so the blue ice is going to look like the glass is it
26:43the pyramid
26:45if they leave it did lose how are you i'm all right they've built that upside down which means
26:54they're going to have to turn it at some point would you like if it all fell apart i sort
26:59of would
26:59if it collapsed that's the dream isn't it
27:04oh no no no no oh my god what are they going to do take that cardboard away and hope
27:09it stays
27:10together careful careful careful careful this is the money shop this is what we're waiting for
27:17oh no he's it already i fix this oh it's awful it's awful just give up go home all right
27:26just turn it
27:27round turn it round show them a good bit it's dripping oh it's leaking there's a leak in the
27:34louvre chefs your time is up oh no oh my gosh don't look at it just don't look at it
27:41yeah don't look
27:41at it don't look at it it's that bad look away that's what i do with my problems
27:47i just don't want to just ignore it don't look at it if you ignore it it doesn't exist
27:54in essex it's cold where's the air con well i'm sure you're trying to do me what do we do
28:00you in
28:01what have i got to go well well i've got me what's it my life insurance what life insurance rylan
28:07and his
28:08mom linda well when i die it goes to your next of kin what me no you're the eldest isn't
28:16it is the
28:16next of kin so jamie gets it it's like my nanny died bless her susan was the eldest but she's
28:23are you joking what i don't get anything yeah yeah whatever's there goes between you and jamie
28:33oh listen i mean i've been quiet lately i might have to uh cut the brakes on your car
28:38down it's probably half a toothbrush each this week it was all about girl power in this movie
28:46with a message on netflix ladies first quite right too i don't think anyone ever says ladies first
28:53to us this is a story about a man named damien damien had it all wealth sex power
29:06is that david attenborough no that was richard e grant's voiceover then i heard oh was it oh well
29:11spotted because he was also an arsehole i like that like all men hey like all men every single one
29:21last night was incredible i've heard that line many many times a few people say that to you in
29:27the morning yeah nigel oh nigel that was incredible anything for the woman who took my virginity
29:34what what who took my virginity that's a good one that's a good one right so he's a creep yeah
29:44so this is what being the ceo of guinness gets so did they say the ceo of guinness
29:49have you had a guinness the drink i think he's the guinness owner so the board are on to me
29:54about
29:55female representation did you see that female representation terrible atlas doesn't have a
30:03single creative director who is a woman so why the hell should that matter why the hell should that
30:09matter why should that matter charles don't i mean i just want to launch my biscuits at the telly
30:17we just promoted the most incredible woman to creative director last week saying anything
30:22after a golf swing yeah makes you a dick so tell me who is this new female we appointed last
30:29week
30:29who is it oh sorry did i say last week i meant this afternoon so he's obviously thought we're
30:35going to lose this contract if i don't employ a woman he's a bit of a misogynist in he let's
30:39be
30:39honest guinness want to increase their female market share do you love a guinness well love a guinness
30:45yeah who doesn't love a guinness who doesn't and talking of women we have a new one oh my god
30:53talking of women we've got a new one we've got one talking of women there's one there this is our
31:00new creative director alex um uh um oh he's a prick he can't even remember her name fox correct
31:10oh correct alex correct shut up i just want to see it right let's get into it product name ideas
31:17let's go so basically we don't care what you have to say great move on tagline can't grow a moustache
31:22well guinness girl's got you because girls can't grow a moustache she's gonna some cam right
31:29then she and the uh the saint paulie girl have a pub fight and it's guinness and it's foam and
31:34it's
31:34starship do we want to tie alcohol to violence they're fighting yeah look don't even listen to
31:38one now hold on are we sure we want to tie alcohol to violence though which she just said i
31:44mean it'd
31:45be funny if it wasn't so probably true to life and depressing so it's hard as a woman to watch
31:50it and
31:50black it's great isn't it that women are undermined in the workplace it's really good and funny isn't it
31:56i thought i was running point on the guinness pitch ah yeah yeah you are just need the new girl
32:02to
32:02cover ourselves in their female perspective right oh no she's overheard them so bad yeah i thought
32:08you should know the female perspective just heard all of that god girl do you reckon she's
32:16gonna give him a piece of them hopefully i'm good at this and i deserve the job and time of
32:20the month
32:22did you what you just said yeah i would just go what time would that be i've got news for
32:28you
32:28please tell the problem is you oh really yes go on it's you it's you it is it is you
32:37know i'm not
32:38some blow-up doll that you can just wheel out to your meetings to prove you're evolved don't not blow
32:42up dolls they last longer than you have they last longer than you have every time i think he can't
32:49say something worse he does it he just trumps it keeps going oh by the way you're fine oh brilliant
32:59deserve that
33:02do you know what that reminds me of what you in marbella that glass door
33:06remember you kept walking into that glass door every day in her in her apartment every single day yeah
33:15oh dear he survived you on any medication the pill the pill are you on the pill what pill are
33:22they
33:22asking him questions like women questions okay well make sure you get some ice on that yeah look after
33:27that pretty face all right oh okay instantly instantly the little tiny comments it's like casual
33:34misogyny that women deal with exactly yeah i think he's woken up in a new world yeah i mean okay
33:44what are you wearing what am i wearing men are wearing skirts men are wearing skirts oh the whole
33:51world the whole world the whole thing's switched i think i'd be all right in a woman's world i can
33:55see
33:55you in those trousers yeah i'm more femme than i am mass sometimes you know got three sisters i'd slip
34:01straight in what are you doing you can't just walk into alex's office alex is the boss now brilliant
34:08is that the lady yeah oh great that's so good as you probably heard alex just quit i'm sorry what
34:16did i aura aura that's a collar off in it get out of here you have to earn that collar
34:23go on alex
34:24you've come to apologize go ahead damien what are you doing in my office if i bang my head and
34:31get to radio too tony blackburn's trying to usher me away from me from my studio oh coffee oh fred
34:40my
34:40cashmere angel joe's dance in a cardi you've got that cardigan oh yeah i do yeah the only thing that
34:51when i got together with swencer i i insisted on paying my way and it's one of my biggest regrets
34:57eight years on my mistake paying 50 of everything yeah because he held you to us well because i
35:02insisted yeah stupid i know you tried to make a point and then you you shot yourself in the feminist
35:08foot i didn't think it would be i didn't listen i didn't think i'd be here eight years later so
35:12with
35:12him yeah i don't think anyone did
35:24in north london now you know i hit my head and found out i were pregnant oh did you yeah
35:30because
35:30i had to go and have a head scan i it's on a low-hanging chandelier best mates sarah and
35:35claire
35:36they said before we do this scan we need to make sure you're not pregnant so i did a pregnancy
35:40test
35:40and it was negative so i chucked it in the bin and me husband went i went it's negative so
35:44my husband
35:45went right i'll go and move the car and he went and moved the car and the nurse went no
35:49i need to
35:50see the pregnancy test before we can do the head scan just to double check and i was like but
35:53it was
35:54negative she went no go and get it so i went and got it and by the time i'd gone
35:58back and got it two
35:59blue lines because i was just pregnant so ben came back from moving the car before he moved the car
36:04i wasn't pregnant he came back i was on friday there were more big stories hitting the headlines
36:11on the bbc oh um what time is it is it six o'clock yeah my favorite show is about
36:17to start
36:17the six o'clock news i love crisps here here big tune don't don't jump
36:34politics i have no interest i like a bit of science news
36:39a bit of space news yeah i like i like knowing what's going on with space nothing political
36:46talking about elections and all i'm like
36:49couldn't give a flying fandango
36:51now more than 20 000 people have signed a petition calling for a national a-level
36:56maths paper to be reviewed after complaints it was too hard yes oh my god this is my boy
37:03he did this maths exam there's gonna be there's petitions about it it was such a horror of a
37:08paper oh really yeah everyone was traumatized after it's awful can we do that for when we did it
37:14yeah can we go back to 2003 because mine was too hard when i was doing mine were well hard
37:19that paper
37:19was horrendous oh yeah well it serves them right do you know what i mean working hard and revising
37:28all that bunch of nerds yeah why don't you buy yourself a big bottle of cider and go and sit
37:35over
37:35the park very few questions where i felt like i was like confident at this is great because you can
37:40basically coordinate your revolution via tiktok they have to listen if you go viral they don't look
37:46like bullshitters either no very early on we saw like parametric equations which don't usually
37:51come up until a lot later on in the paper oh i hate a parametric lalum can't we say can
37:56we
37:57what's it called claire a parametric lalum good at parametric equations
38:03students have contacted the bbc to share their concerns this generation man i'm telling you
38:08i can't they're they're equally impressive and terrifying they're like the exam was hard ring the bbc
38:14but some maths experts say the paper was in line with expectations the actual mathematical
38:20computation in each question was very standard and we've seen these kind of questions before oh
38:25neil's saying that they're just standard questions i bet he's a maths genius imagine being a maths expert
38:31like imagine having that kind of brain yeah it'd be good wouldn't it for some things yeah so there was
38:37nothing in there really that was mathematically alarming i would say mathematically alarming
38:48he loves maths i can tell it and off call the exams regulator has said that it will be closely
38:54monitoring the marking of this particular paper and that students shouldn't worry but focus on the
38:59next exam don't worry about this one you just concentrate on the next one which is also going to be
39:03very hard i know it took me three times to pass my maths to ucsa did it really don't go
39:11back it was
39:13like elf you know when he's bigger than everyone in the classroom that was me i was 24 i was
39:19like hey
39:19see if i can get that c grade in essex you're going to eat them this isn't a joke yeah
39:27but i know you
39:28just like to suck them the bucklies the dry roasted i like to that is grim just suck the flavor
39:37flavor off and then i put them the only reason you're saying that you have a little discarding
39:42bowl yes yeah because i came home one day you had i love a dry roasted peanut yep i saw
39:47a bowl of dry
39:47roasted peanuts i thought i'll have some of those they're all soggy because because you suck them and
39:53just put them in another bowl that'll teach you what what's the lesson there ask before you just
39:58help yourself to my snacks is that right yeah on saturday night ross kemp had us quizzing across
40:05his bridge on bbc one oh i love bridge of lies i like ross kemp it must be nice for
40:12him must be more
40:13relaxing because he's normally out bothering gangs and that isn't it have a day off bear this isn't as
40:20scary is it this is celebrity bridge of lies where winning is simple just step on the truths is it
40:28a truth or is it a lie and steer clear of the lies okay we've got the game we're a
40:34fever picture already
40:35really i love multiple choice because you know one is right it's true but that's just that's an easy way
40:44out but liking multiple choice is a sign of weakness are you ready ready thanks there they're sat in a
40:54studio the first category is musicals oh this is you this is me all over all over did you see
41:01lion king
41:02with us hated it oh because the lions weren't lions they were humans with cardboard heads on it pissed me
41:08off i know most of um andrew lloyd weber's canon okay louisa come and join me on the bridge
41:16i'm coming well louisa's been in the west end oh has she she's in eastenders but she's done the west
41:21end oh she will know this then yeah louisa hello we've sort of seen you on our screen since you
41:28were a
41:29teenager yeah you've both been in eastenders so have you ever been in the musical yes i was in greece
41:36see
41:36she knows her stuff okay name me two songs from greece go on easy first one easy better shape up
41:43better shake up however it goes yeah you better shape up yeah yeah you're the one i want one yeah
41:49that's that song um go on the loan the no the sad one do you know what month obviously devoted
41:55to you
41:55yeah oh you pulled that one out yeah come on right can you tell us what charity you're playing for
42:01i'm
42:01playing for guide dogs oh god bless her ah i love a guide dog there are 10 lies on the
42:09bridge but
42:09remember there is always a path to safety yeah we get the idea bridge what are we looking for we're
42:16looking for the show to start we are looking for songs correctly paired with the stage musical in which
42:23they feature oh get on with it summer nights greece oh summer nights greece easy oh well oh well oh
42:33very much of it's time now yeah it is did she put up a fight uh hello please i have
42:41to go here
42:41because obviously i was in the show so truth or lie that is the truth we got oh yeah we
42:47knew we get that
42:48light it's a simple format isn't it it is almost too simple that opens up memory west side story
42:54memory is from cats memory all around in the moonlight that was quite good
43:04wasn't that quite good my favorite things the sound of music this is my favorite things sound
43:19of music this is my favorite favorite film growing up so i'm definitely going to go for the sound of
43:25music you've got five minutes yeah we don't want your life history love just jump on the button
43:31that opens up don't cry for me argentina yeah that one of course it is yeah don't cry for me
43:38argentina
43:40that opens up the hotline leaning on a lamppost my fair lady see these now i have no idea this
43:47is
43:47getting niche now i'm leaning on the lamppost at the corner and i'm speaking to a certain little lady
43:59oh that's by the way that's me uh ukulele this is one of my favorite musicals so i don't know
44:04why my
44:04mind is playing tricks on me perfect yeah i'm gonna go for it oh no no no no perfect yeah
44:12truth or lie
44:13no no no oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
44:22oh at least it's not her own money
44:23yeah that'd be worse there's guide dogs being put to sleep now because she's stupid that opens up
44:30seasons of love rent i dreamed the dream it's less miserable i dreamed a dream yes i dreamed a dream
44:39Love time's gone by!
44:41Susan Boyle? Yeah, it was, yeah.
44:43Beat her?
44:46Yeah, we did.
44:48Sorry, Sue.
44:50Have that, Sue, though.
44:51I'm gonna go here. Truth or lie?
44:52Oh, sorry, I'm just...
44:53It isn't true!
44:54It's nearly over.
44:56It opens up expressing yourself, Matilda.
44:59Expressing yourself is not Matilda.
45:01Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh!
45:05What's that?
45:06Oh!
45:08You don't want to step on another one, you're at 1,000.
45:11That is a 50-50.
45:13Shhh!
45:16Um, er...
45:17I'm going to go for let me entertain you. Truth or lie?
45:21Uh-oh. Oh, that's what I would have done, I don't know.
45:23It's the truth!
45:25I've done it! Well done!
45:27Yay!
45:29I never trained as a singer, clearly.
45:32I did train, a tiny bit.
45:35Where did you train my drama school?
45:38Crufts.
45:39Well, you know what, a really good one,
45:41what I went to see just recently,
45:43only at Christmas time,
45:45Back to the Future.
45:47Right, we went together!
45:48Yeah, we went together!
45:51We went together!
45:52We did not!
45:54We went back to the future!
45:56We went there together!
45:56We went together!
45:57And that funny, we did go together!
46:00So you've seen the musical as well!
46:02Oh...
46:02Cool.
46:02You do,
46:03You do...
46:03You