00:00No, fuck you! What kind of therapist says you look like you've gained weight?
00:04One with eyes.
00:06This is Dr. Victor Blaine, a therapist with zero stars on Yelp,
00:11which he claims is because his clients can't handle the truth.
00:14And today, he's trying his hand at virtual therapy sessions.
00:20Alright, let's do this shit.
00:22I just don't understand. Every time I start getting close with a girl, she just leaves me.
00:27I'm going to guess the micropenis has something to do with that.
00:30Bro, what? I don't have a micropenis.
00:32Bud, if you're going to lie, at least remember to turn your camera off.
00:36Oh, shit!
00:38I'm a huge fan of your documentary, Dr. Blaine.
00:41Thank you. So, um, why'd you book a session with me today? What's the issue?
00:45I don't know what my issue is, doctor. I just came here to show you these.
00:50Alright, so that's called daddy issues.
00:53So, my best friend caught me fooling around with his 16-year-old niece,
00:57and then he tells me I need to do the world a favor and jump off a tall building.
01:03I just need to know what I should do.
01:05Take his advice.
01:07My biggest fear is a guy I love just using me for my body.
01:12Yeah, you've got nothing to be afraid of.
01:13Bye.
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