00:00Shut it. I've got your wife on the phone right now.
00:03When I take that tape off your mouth, you're going to tell her to wire transfer me $25,000.
00:07Got it?
00:10Sandra, help me.
00:11Wait a second. I've still got her on hold.
00:14Wait, she can't hear us right now?
00:16No.
00:17Oh, man. I have been looking for an excuse to get away from my crazy wife.
00:22You, sir, have made my day.
00:24All right. Well, I'm going to take her off hold now.
00:26And you're going to tell her to wire transfer me $25,000.
00:30Robert, are you okay?
00:32Yes, honey. I'm okay.
00:33But if you want me to come home alive, you're going to have to wire transfer this man $30,000.
00:39Hold on one second, man.
00:43I said $25,000, not $30,000.
00:46I know. I just don't want to go home tonight.
00:48Pal, if I don't get that $25,000, you won't be alive by tonight.
00:52Hey, that's better than going back to my wife.
00:56Robert?
00:57Yeah, so now he's asking for $40,000.
01:00And listen, that's a lot of money.
01:02So I understand if you don't want to...
01:04No, Robert.
01:04We have that $40,000 saved in our daughter's college fund.
01:08And I will gladly spend that to save the best husband ever.
01:11Actually, I'm not the best husband ever.
01:14What?
01:15Truthfully, I've been having an affair on you for the past four years.
01:19Wait, what?
01:20So I understand if you don't want to...
01:23No, we can work through this, Robert.
01:25I won't let some woman destroy our family.
01:28Actually, it isn't a woman.
01:30It's my twin brother.
01:31And speaking of our daughter's college fund,
01:34I was actually planning on stealing that money
01:36and starting a new life with my gay lover slash twin brother, Bob.
01:40So I'd imagine you don't want to spend $40,000 to get a husband like me home.
01:45You're right.
01:46I want to spend that $40,000 to hire your kidnapper to terminate you.
01:51Wait, what?
01:51Do it now!
01:55It's done.
01:58It worked!
01:59Bob, you are so effing smart.
02:02Now we can run away to our dream home together.
02:04Road trip with my passenger prince.
02:06Alabama, here we come.
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