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00:00O que é isso?
00:33O que é isso?
01:00O que é isso?
01:00O que é isso?
01:00O que é isso?
01:30O que é isso?
01:31O que é isso?
01:55O que é isso?
01:55O que é isso?
02:00O que é isso?
02:26O que é isso?
02:39O que é isso?
02:40O que é isso?
02:41O que é isso?
02:41O que é isso?
02:41O que é isso?
02:43O que é isso?
02:57O que é isso?
03:00O que é isso?
03:04O que é isso?
03:14O que é isso?
03:22O que é isso?
03:39O que é isso?
03:42O que é isso?
03:43O que é isso?
03:47O que é isso?
03:49O que é isso?
03:51O que é isso?
03:51O que é isso?
03:51O que é isso?
03:51O que é isso?
03:52O que é isso?
03:54O que é isso?
03:56O que é isso?
04:01O que é isso?
04:03O que é isso?
04:07O que é isso?
04:08O que é isso?
04:11O que é isso?
04:12O que me lembro,
04:15O que é isso?
04:18A human being in public life, he was prone to antagonism.
04:22They collect, like river silt.
04:25Not that I'm speaking ill of the dead, you understand?
04:28No, certainly not, certainly not.
04:30Let me tell you something, Carl.
04:31Think of Greater Chicago.
04:34Six million personalities pressed together in a configuration as complex...
04:39Excuse me, excuse me, just there we go.
04:41Would you mind?
04:43Six million personalities pressed together in...
04:46Think of Chicago.
04:50Think of Greater Chicago.
04:53Six million personalities pressed together in a configuration as complex...
04:59and as dynamically rigorous as it is alienating.
05:03Six million sets of needs, wants, desires...
05:10cries in the night.
05:12Want me.
05:14I want you.
05:15Understand me.
05:17I am a person.
05:19Disintegration of the families.
05:22Unbridled vertical mobility.
05:25A pressure cooker of human disappointments.
05:28Carl, understand the...
05:31empathetic atomized personality and, uh...
05:35Well, sooner or later he...
05:38or she erupts.
05:41She, she, you said she.
05:42You think it's a woman?
05:44Well, I like to call him or her Mr. X.
05:47Mr. X?
05:48What, what, Mr. X?
05:49What, uh, John Doe?
05:50Yeah, uh, there's a lot more professional than calling him a nut or a freak or something like that.
05:55No, you've got to respect people's feelings, Carl.
05:58Yes.
06:00The next night, 10.20 p.m.
06:02If Leo Ramutka's popularity, or lack of it, was born of ballots and political patronage,
06:07Rolf Danvers got his more directly.
06:10His was the allure of ready cash and the deeds to several square blocks of prime Chicago real estate.
06:16However, within seconds, the only real estate that would matter to Rolf Danvers would be a small plot he owned
06:21in a memorial park near Old Town.
06:29Negative.
06:30Last night's statement is no longer functionally descriptive.
06:34And a negative is also appropriate to the second part of the second question you ask.
06:39There is no, I repeat, no reason to believe at the death of two prominent men.
06:43Do you know that there's a rumor going around the press room?
06:45Homicide is a very democratic institution.
06:48One more question.
06:50Then allow me to rephrase that, Captain.
06:51Negative.
06:52One more question.
06:53Captain, regarding the death of Ward Captain Ramutka,
06:56it has been rumored among the press that you're combing the 14th precinct
07:00looking for a woman disguising herself as a British commando?
07:04What do you have to say about that, Captain?
07:06Any explanation?
07:07Captain, please, I need something.
07:09I need something.
07:11That'll be all, ladies and gentlemen.
07:13Thank you very much.
07:13Captain, please, please.
07:15No more questions.
07:18Carl!
07:19I see you're making yourself at home.
07:21Coffee?
07:22Well, I imagine you're here by way of journalistic endeavor, right?
07:26Uh, yeah.
07:27Yes.
07:28As a matter of fact, those murders.
07:30Remember?
07:30You've got a quick wit, Carl.
07:32I like that.
07:33Shows a proclivity to cope.
07:35Yeah, well, thank you.
07:36Captain?
07:37Don't mention it.
07:38Now, if I read your body language correctly,
07:41you want to ask me what killed Ralph Danvers?
07:44Right.
07:46He was stabbed.
07:48Stabbed?
07:49You know.
07:51Yes, of course, but stabbed by what?
07:54Fair question.
07:56Something round and sharp.
07:57I'd say a structural facsimile to an ice pick.
08:02Ice pick.
08:03There is, however, one disconcerting wrinkle to that premise.
08:07This particular instrument would have to have a three-inch diameter.
08:11Then it isn't an ice pick.
08:12All right.
08:14I'll buy that.
08:15I can buy a direct question.
08:18And I respect you for it.
08:20Thank you, Captain.
08:22Now then, what killed him?
08:29Captain.
08:30Hmm?
08:32What killed him?
08:35Society.
08:36Sister?
08:37Well, in a manner of speaking, naturally.
08:39Well, Captain, in a manner of speaking,
08:41two gentlemen are dead of two very bizarre means.
08:45An oversized arrow and an obese ice pick.
08:48Now, I cannot minimize the concern that I have
08:51that these murders are somehow interrelated,
08:53if for no other reason,
08:54and that you're handling the investigations of both.
08:57Ah.
08:58That last one is an excellent point.
09:00Excellent point.
09:01It shows an inherently lucid administrative insight, Carl.
09:05Yeah, yeah.
09:06But how about the first one, huh?
09:07That the murders are intertwined, interlocked?
09:10Do you know?
09:12There were one-seventh as many ice pick killings
09:14last year as there were in 1942.
09:17In 1942?
09:20Technology, Carl.
09:26Ice comes in cubes these days.
09:30Ready-made.
09:32You see?
09:32Wait a minute.
09:34Are you telling me that there were ice cubes
09:36at the scenes of both murders?
09:37Oh, not at all.
09:38Well, then what?
09:39Not at all, Carl.
09:41Look.
09:42All right.
09:43Perhaps we can approach this a little less directly.
09:48Less directly?
09:58Thursday, 2, 12 p.m.
10:01Extricating myself from Captain Vernon W. Roush
10:03cost me two hours of precious time,
10:05wherein I learned that the only thing more maddening
10:08than certain cops was certain educated cops.
10:10I was in the mood for some fast, straight answers.
10:13So I headed for the straight arrow himself,
10:16Pop Stensvold.
10:18Hi, Pop.
10:19What do you want this time, Kolchak?
10:21Oh, Pop.
10:22Now, is there any way to talk to me?
10:24It's your old collaborator, your old friend Carl.
10:28Something's new around here.
10:29What is it?
10:30Oh, you got a new eagle, right?
10:33Same old eagle, same old line of bourgeois.
10:36When do we start, Kolchak?
10:37Later, later.
10:38Could you tell me what this is?
10:40It's an arrow.
10:41I know it's an arrow, but what kind of an arrow?
10:43All right.
10:45Chapter 3.
10:47In the 11th summer of my life...
10:50You don't know, right?
10:52Okay.
10:52Well, if you don't know, you don't know.
10:54Harry Truman said that in 1949.
10:57Will Harry really say that?
10:58No, will Harry really said it?
10:59All right, I do know.
11:00Uh-huh.
11:01Come from a crossbow.
11:03Middle Ages.
11:04I couldn't sell that item in here if I tried.
11:06You know what they want?
11:07They want guns and elevator shoes and karate lessons.
11:11Maybe suppose I want a crossbow.
11:13Use your head, will you, Carl?
11:14You see the size of that arrow?
11:15Yeah.
11:16It'd take a winch to cock the mechanism.
11:18That 300 pound of pressure, at least.
11:20I don't care about that.
11:21I want one.
11:21Ah, no, you don't.
11:23Yes, I do.
11:24Now, where do I get one?
11:25All right, I'll tell you what you do.
11:27You walk out that door.
11:28Yeah.
11:29You get in your car.
11:30Yeah.
11:30And you start driving.
11:31Uh-huh.
11:32And when you come to the 14th century, ask your social worker.
11:35Social worker?
11:36Yeah, a social worker.
11:38A little 23-year-old chippy comes in here and tells me,
11:41any man can afford his own business can afford his own teeth.
11:43Oh, but that's what's got your nose on a joint.
11:47Well, why didn't you tell me?
11:48Hey, you need some dollars for some molars.
11:50No, no, no, no, no, keep it, keep it, and we'll do a couple more chapters of my biographer.
11:54No, no, nothing but that.
11:55Here, take the money for the teeth.
11:56As you may recall in our last chapter, as you may recall in our last chapter, cousin Rusty and me
12:04was spending our 11th summer in Green Lake, Wisconsin.
12:36Thursday, 1159 p.m.
12:37with the newly famous analgesic for the morning after.
12:44Charles?
12:48Charles, stop that blasted clanking.
13:01What is this?
13:03Is this some kind of joke?
13:06Charles?
13:12Charles!
13:17Oh, my God.
13:19No, please.
13:19Oh, for Lord's sake, don't.
13:21Take anything you want.
13:22Look, I'll give you money.
13:26Charles!
13:27No!
13:35Don't just stand there, you idiot.
13:37Help me.
13:38What does that mix one's centuries, Madame?
13:40You're destroying continuity, all of it.
13:42You're telling me about continuity?
13:45Me?
13:46That's genuine Provençal, 13th century.
13:49Provençal, small-vinçal.
13:52That thing is blue.
13:54That thing is black.
13:55I will not tolerate a black and blue cocktail lounge.
14:00Unless someone has decided to rename the Camelot Bar the Brews Room.
14:31No, I am not.
14:32Leek on the next.
14:33Sorry.
14:33O que você é?
14:34Um recordador de eventos grande e pequeno.
14:36Um instrumento de a pressa livre.
14:38Eu sou um reporter.
14:39Mais aquela pre-publicidade, hein?
14:41Pre-publicidade?
14:42Não, não, não, não.
14:42Tudo que eu estou interessado é a informação sobre arrows.
14:45A steady hand up on the string.
14:47A silver shaft about to spring.
14:50So, Walter Scott.
14:52Mendel Boggs.
14:53Mr. Boggs!
14:58Agora, o nosso engenheiro vai chegar hoje.
15:01E você vai deixar ele neste momento.
15:03E você vai dizer para mim,
15:05que os componentes vão chegar aqui.
15:08Dentro de Garricka Vargas?
15:10Eu protesto.
15:12Eu vou protesto.
15:13Você faz isso.
15:15E enquanto você está protestando a quem você protestou,
15:18eu vou saber sobre a sua remoção
15:20para quem derrubou custodial.
15:23Meu título é Curator.
15:26Boa noite, Boggs.
15:33O que foi?
15:35Minerva Mousseau.
15:36O que é a Minerva Mousseau?
15:37Um decorador de interior.
15:39A vil repute.
15:41O que está acontecendo aqui?
15:42Eu pensei que você era aqui para escrever isso.
15:44Me?
15:44Oh, não.
15:45O grande marcha de progress.
15:46O que uma comparação é transformando tudo isso
15:49into a Camelot discotheque?
15:51Mas eles todos morrem em Camelot.
15:54Ah, isso vai custar você o seu trabalho, hein?
15:56Não sei se eu aprender como ser um barter ou operar um strobe light.
16:00Oh, eu tenho certeza.
16:02Eu tenho certeza.
16:02Eu espero que eles todos, você.
16:04Quem são eles?
16:05Os knights de lor.
16:06Os ten-on-one.
16:07Os lances de lor.
16:09Os lances de lor.
16:09Oh, é terrível.
16:10É muito bom.
16:12Você considera isso para ser uma verdadeira medieval era?
16:14O que é tão extenso.
16:16Eles têm tomado o melhor, o mais, o mais, o mais, o mais.
16:20O mais, o mais, o mais.
16:21O mais, o mais.
16:21O mais, o mais.
16:21O mais, o mais, o mais.
16:24Isso é verdade, sim!
16:26Isso é verdadeiro.
16:26O arrow.
16:27Bol.
16:27A redação é um großzão chamado de um bom.
16:29Bom.
16:30Se fosse um estudo preciso, eu poderia ser inteligentes.
16:34É tipo que é bem.
16:36É?
16:37Pode ser uma raquelinha.
16:38Sim, é uma raquinha.
16:39Não, não, não, não!
16:39Mas, ah...
16:41O...
16:42Ah...
16:44O quê?
16:44O que eles são foram fechados aqui?
16:46No, atrizão sobre o ano.
16:48A escola classe de trâns.
16:50Os calés fiéis ruins.
16:51Um cara de nervos, little marinhas com ferreira.
16:52Oh, não, olhe.
16:53Não, tira você.
16:54Uh, ahem, let me ask you.
16:57Uh, would a-a-a-a-arrow, um, a bolt, uh, like this,
17:01fit on a crossbow like that?
17:03No, a bolt is a built to shoot bolts, aren't they?
17:05I'm very busy, if you'll excuse me, Mr-
17:07Of course you can.
17:19Easy there, boy, easy.
17:28Eu pedi para você falar!
17:30Tudo bem, tudo bem!
17:38Bem-vindo de novo, Lester!
17:42Bem-vindo também, cara.
17:44Espero que eu não conheça você.
17:45Eu acho que ele conhece ele.
17:47Sim, ele era um tipo de trabalhador federal, não era?
17:50Sim, o presidente.
17:51Ele é muito bom, também.
17:52Sim, sim.
17:54Booster Hocking checked in here last night, não é?
17:57Não é?
17:59Sim.
18:00Sim.
18:04Sim.
18:08Booster Hocking.
18:09Oh, sim.
18:11O que ele fez?
18:13Eu acho que, meu amigo, é um $64 questionário aqui.
18:16Até os médicos médicos estão ficando.
18:18Sim?
18:19Se eu dizer, eu diria que ele foi estompeado por um 1,000-lb.
18:22O que é um futebol shoe?
18:23Ou um mace.
18:25Mace comes, uh, a little can, it doesn't weigh anything.
18:28Mace.
18:28M-A-C-E.
18:30You know, Robert Taylor, Errol Flynn, King Arthur.
18:33É um futebol, o endo de um futebol, que é um futebol, que é um futebol.
18:43É um futebol, que é um futebol, que é um futebol.
18:50Charles Johnson refused to make any comment, except that he loathed and despised the press.
18:57Rather than face an ugly confrontation, I made a detour to the telegraph office,
19:01where an old and mercenary friend came through for me.
19:04Dear Carl, stop.
19:06Please come to Chicago as soon as possible, stop.
19:10Need to talk to you in person, stop.
19:13Fraternally yours, Hawk.
19:16Hawk.
19:17Odd, isn't it?
19:18In my ten years with Mr. Hocking, I never heard him referred to as, uh, Hawk.
19:24Well...
19:25As a matter of fact, I don't recall him mentioning your name either.
19:30Well, Hawk was Hawk.
19:33Eh, no doubt about that, that hard-boiled old son of a gun.
19:37Yet I'll never forget our 11th summer on Lake Wisconsin,
19:41and now to find that he is dead.
19:45Uh-huh, yeah, yeah.
19:47Well, anything stolen?
19:48No, this is the age of senseless violence.
19:51Look at the room, it's hardly touched.
19:53Mm-hmm, yeah, it's...
19:54Oh, yeah, hardly at all.
19:56What happened to this?
19:58Well, the police theorized that the, uh, murderer smashed it
20:02to prevent Mr. Hocking from calling for help.
20:04Uh-huh, of course, certainly.
20:07Yeah, that's why the phones at the nightstand there weren't smashed, huh?
20:11Tell me, Charles, uh, was Hocking...
20:13Hawk?
20:14Was he worried about anything?
20:15Well, he was somewhat concerned about a class action suit against his diet drink subsidiary.
20:20A man in Michigan was claiming that the, uh, sugar substitute was causing vertigo and excess hair loss.
20:27Uh-huh.
20:30A diet drink?
20:31Really?
20:31Well, I-I thought that Hawk's, uh, fortune came from cigarette vending machines and theater lobby concessions.
20:36Mr. Kolchak...
20:37Jack, Jack, Jack, Kolchak.
20:38Mr. Kolchak, a full five years ago, Mr. Hocking's company bought out most of the independent soft drink bottlers in
20:46the Midwest
20:46and became known as the Canadian American Leisure Corporation.
20:51Oh, of course, certainly.
20:53Now, it was Mr. Hocking's custom to send his friends case upon case of mixers at Christmas.
21:00Uh, queenine water, club soda, ginger ale.
21:04Now, why didn't you ever receive any?
21:08Well, I guess Sir Hawk knew that I, uh, only drank my milk straight.
21:13Oh, sometimes on the rocks, of course, but usually straight.
21:19Just who are you, Mr. Kolchak?
21:22Well, I told you, I'm old fraternity brother of, uh, Hawks.
21:25Alpha, Beta, um, um, over and out.
21:51Good afternoon.
21:52I'm from the Telephone Company.
21:53Oh, yeah, down here.
22:01Here, the gentleman with a problem?
22:03Yeah, here.
22:04No dial tone.
22:07Okay.
22:11That's right, no dial tone.
22:15Listen, as long as you're here, would you mind asking a few questions for me?
22:18I'm trying to ascertain just how much pressure it would take to crush one of these telephones.
22:22You mean to destroy telephone company equipment?
22:25Well, hypothetically, unless you don't know, of course.
22:28I know.
22:28Company spec says 420 pounds.
22:31PSI?
22:32PSI.
22:34Huh.
22:36This equipment has been tampered with.
22:38What?
22:39Bugged?
22:40We've been bugged?
22:41Don't give me that bugged stuff.
22:43You're a con man.
22:44You got me up here just to answer a few questions.
22:46Why, I didn't.
22:47You ever try to call that business office?
22:48They're always busy.
22:49Hey, the least you can do is put it back together again.
22:51Well, what have we here?
22:56What are you doing there?
22:57I see you have some unauthorized equipment on these premises.
23:01I had nothing to do with it.
23:07Wait a minute, oh, wait a minute, what's the problem?
23:09It's all over.
23:11Well, you know, what's going on here?
23:14Two of our bootleg telephones just walked out that door.
23:18We've had a good thing going.
23:20Yeah, forget about telephones, Tony.
23:21That's not important.
23:23What is important is that it takes 420 pounds pressure, PSI, to crush a telephone.
23:30Now, it says right here that a medieval knight in full armor and in full weaponry weighs well over 400
23:36pounds.
23:36Oh, I feel much better.
23:38All my life I wanted to know that a medieval knight could crush a telephone.
23:40Well, I think three murders were caused by medieval weapons.
23:44Maybe by a guy in armor, I don't know.
23:47Anyway, I know a place where there's a whole slew of medieval armor and weaponry,
23:51and it's all run by a very angry man.
23:54So what?
23:56So what?
23:57Yes.
23:58Well, so Brewster Hawking, last night's victim, owns a soda pop conglomerate,
24:04and they recently acquired Heidecker wine importers and the Heidecker Museum.
24:08Carl, I didn't understand anything you just said.
24:10Don't worry about it, Tony.
24:11You will as soon as I get through talking with Minerva Musso.
24:13Minerva Musso.
24:14The interior decorator?
24:15You?
24:16Yes.
24:16We're thinking of brightening up the office.
24:18You are going to be replaced by a Boston fern, and you a snapdragon.
24:26Well, why do I always feel like I don't belong here?
24:36Friday, 8, 58 p.m.
24:37When you're hot, you're hot.
24:39And as I saw a mass of seemingly unrelated facts starting to come together,
24:42I knew I was at least getting warm.
24:59Hello?
25:03Pamela, dear naive Pamela.
25:07Now, you have been with enough ski instructors to realize they're always in a hurry.
25:12It must be something terribly Freudian and terribly boring.
25:17Hello?
25:17Oh, just a moment, dear.
25:20A strange man has just walked into my boulevard.
25:23No.
25:24No, really.
25:27Come in, dear, and shut the door.
25:29There's a drash.
25:34Robbery or rape?
25:36What?
25:36No, I'm asking him.
25:37Robbery or rape?
25:39He hasn't said.
25:41Neither one, so don't get excited.
25:43Oh.
25:44He says I shouldn't get excited.
25:47Depressing little man.
25:49Carl Kolschak, uh, INS.
25:52Oh.
25:53He's a newspaper man.
25:55That explains it.
25:57Ring you back, kiddo.
26:00Warning, Mr. Reporter.
26:02I shoot from the hip.
26:04The door was open, so I didn't break in.
26:06I'm not talking about doors.
26:07I'm talking about David Bowie.
26:10You press people are always pestering me about whether or not I'll do his house.
26:16I'm not sure.
26:19I've met David, and he's, uh, charming.
26:23But I'm not sure our ideas would gel.
26:26Well, I'm...
26:27Next question.
26:28I'm not here about David Bowie, actually.
26:31I'm here about the Heidecker Museum.
26:33Yeah.
26:34That junkyard?
26:35If it wasn't for being audited last year, no amount of money could get me to take the job.
26:40Well, I'm interested in a curator, uh, Men... Men... Mendel Boggs.
26:44Yeah, what do you know about him?
26:45Mendel?
26:46Mm.
26:46With diligence, he might make village idiot.
26:49Do you know that he talks to those iron things?
26:53Really?
26:53Those nights, yes.
26:54What does he say?
26:55Well, poetry.
26:56He spouts that doggrel of his.
26:59I came in one morning, and he was standing there in front of a mirror, waving a pike and frothing
27:08about cleaving things in twain.
27:11Whatever that means.
27:14Cleaving things in twain.
27:17Well, I know he's really pretty upset about the remodeling plans.
27:21Did you ever hear him threaten anybody, like Brewster Hawking?
27:25Hawking?
27:26Hawking.
27:27He owns the Heidecker Museum.
27:29He pays your salary.
27:30Oh, yes.
27:31But I'm not salaried.
27:33I've never met Mr. Hawking.
27:35I work with the architect.
27:38Uh-huh.
27:40Um...
27:42Did you hear that?
27:45Huh.
27:48You got bad pipes or something?
27:49I beg your pardon.
27:51Well, I mean, is your dishwasher broken or...
27:53Oh, who knows?
27:54Friday night, party night.
27:56What is that noise?
28:05Haven't you got a lock in this door?
28:07What's out there?
28:09Now, just a minute.
28:11What's going on here?
28:12Get in the back of the bathroom.
28:12I can't get a pipe.
28:14Get in the back of the room, you dumb brown.
28:15Unlock the door!
28:46. . .
28:46. . .
28:46. . .
29:02It's enough, John. Thank you.
29:05Well, Carl.
29:07Where's the pain? The base of the skull?
29:10I'll tell you what. Just rub back here.
29:12Right back here. Just loosen up the trapezius muscle.
29:14Trapezius muscle?
29:17Oh.
29:19Oh.
29:19No, no. Easy, easy with the light.
29:23Most forms of headache are accompanied by photosensitivity.
29:27Just keep on rubbing. Best thing for a tension headache.
29:30Tension headache?
29:32What tension headache? My head got bashed in.
29:35Carl, neighbors heard screams,
29:37and we find you camped out here on the floor,
29:39and a woman ax-murdered right in there.
29:42If I was you, I'd have a big tension headache.
29:47Oh, no.
29:49No, no, you can't possibly think that I killed her
29:52and then knocked myself out to wait for you to get here.
29:54No, you couldn't possibly think that.
29:56Of course I don't think that.
29:57No.
29:59What about my photosensitivity?
30:02This isn't third degree, Carl.
30:04It's only the first.
30:05Can you intuit my meaning?
30:08I got knocked out before I knew what hit me.
30:11What transpired here?
30:13What is that stink?
30:15You're the stink.
30:16What? Me?
30:19Oh, the perfume must have spilled all over me.
30:22My lab man tells me it's called Temptation of Adam.
30:25Temptation of Adam.
30:26Pretty strong medicine, isn't it?
30:28But to the point, you are a material witness to murder.
30:33What?
30:33Bah.
30:35I intuit your problem, Carl.
30:38Feelings of persecution, huh?
30:40Paranoia.
30:41The sense that I, as an authority figure,
30:43take away your angle and give your big story to other members of the press.
30:47Listen, that's not paranoia. That's fact.
30:50All right.
30:51You just be straight with me,
30:54and I'll give you an exclusive.
30:55Listen, I've been watching you, Roush.
30:58And for the past two years, you've been sitting on your laurels,
31:01not to mention your brains.
31:03You're lazy.
31:04Police work bores you.
31:05Those long, thoughtful pauses of yours, you're not thinking.
31:09You're sleeping.
31:10That's what you're doing.
31:11You're sleeping.
31:12And you don't do any investigation anymore at all.
31:15You rely on informants and tips and ripping off angles from newsmen.
31:19I want to know what you got on those murders.
31:21Do your own legwork, you phony.
31:22Phony.
31:25Picture two weeks in a drab room downtown.
31:29Filling out affidavits, depositions, forms.
31:33Your traffic record is pulled.
31:36We go over it with a microscope.
31:37We send your car through safety inspection.
31:43I didn't see a thing.
31:46Carl, I don't want to work this weekend.
31:49My wife's chamber music society has a supper concert,
31:53and I'm supposed to write an article for the police newsletter.
31:55Now, please.
31:57Nothing.
32:00Spencer.
32:03Fill that tub in there with cold water as soon as forensics finishes up.
32:06You wouldn't dare.
32:09You'd dare.
32:11All right, if I told you you wouldn't believe it.
32:13She was killed by a knight in armor.
32:17A knight in armor?
32:18Yeah, I told you you wouldn't believe it.
32:21Merely because you've been unreliable in the past,
32:24it doesn't mean that your words have no value.
32:28After all, as the bard said,
32:30there are more things under the sun
32:32than are dreamed of in your philosophy, Horatio.
32:35Of course, yeah, Carl.
32:36But a knight in armor.
32:40Make me believe that, Carl.
32:42Because if I find you're shooting me through the grease,
32:44it'll have a definite detrimental effect
32:46on how we interface with each other.
32:50You know what's funny? I intuited that.
32:55I suppose this creature came squealing to you
32:57that I was arguing with that wretched woman, eh?
32:59That I'd uttered epithets against her?
33:01I'm sorry, but they fried my eyeballs.
33:04Are you sure you don't want an attorney?
33:06For what? To hold my pants while I change into that?
33:09This is preposterous.
33:11Well, there's no blood on the axe, the lance, and the mace.
33:13It's been wiped or cleaned lately.
33:15And did you clean these lately?
33:16I don't mean with polish.
33:18You see, we found that in Miss Musso's murder,
33:21the killer wiped the weapon off on a silk pillowcase
33:24and with Mr. Danvers on a piece of his sport jacket.
33:26You mean you actually did some work in between yoga classes
33:29and book reviews?
33:31I never even knew a Mr. Danvers or a Mr. Hawking.
33:34Buxbaum.
33:36Buxbaum, will you please help Mr. Boggs off with his apron here?
33:39and give the boys a hand with a helmet.
33:45Are you sure this is the armor you saw?
33:48Yes, that, I am sure, is the armor I saw.
33:51No, enough!
33:54All right, boys. Thank you very much.
33:57Mr. Boggs, anyone else have access to this museum at night but you?
34:01I have the only key. I have nothing to hide.
34:04That's the one I saw.
34:05Now, who else could have been wearing it but him, you?
34:09Maybe it wasn't a night you saw at all.
34:13Maybe it was the Tin Woodsman.
34:16Did it dance? Sing?
34:19Did Jack Haley's voice commit a...
34:21Careful with that!
34:24Well, then who's committing these murders, huh?
34:27I mean, how do you account for what I saw?
34:28I account for it thusly.
34:31You are a man who has resorted to lies and chicanery
34:34to the point of being pathological.
34:37I believe that you suffer from auto-suggestion.
34:41And in an obsessive desire to win approval expressed through the need for a big story,
34:47you convince yourself that what you want to be true is true.
34:53In short, I believe your brain has turned to onion dip.
35:00Mr. Boggs, I'm sorry for the trouble.
35:03You've been very cooperative and I thank you.
35:05I told you from the beginning it was laughable.
35:07Unfortunately, I have to check out all the leads.
35:10It's my duty, you know, in spite of the source.
35:14Don't go far. We'll still want to talk to you.
35:16But, um...
35:20I think...
35:22I'll consult with our police psychiatrist.
35:26Buck's bound.
35:32I'm sorry about this whole thing. I really am.
35:34But I did see that armor.
35:38Now, just...
35:39Who was this Black Cross Knight?
35:40I mean, where did this armor come from?
35:42I wouldn't give you another piece of information
35:44if you held me down and let a pack of rats run through my clothes willy-nilly.
35:48Not if you made me drink the oil slick off Lake Michigan.
35:51Would you get anything out of me?
35:53Now, please leave here.
35:55And take that sickly stench with you.
36:30Hello. My name's Karl Kolchak. I'd like some information about Coats of Arm.
36:35Uh, Kolchak. That's an old and revered Russian name, isn't it?
36:38Oh, well, no. Actually, no. It's Polish.
36:40Polish?
36:40Oh, yes, of course. Kolchak.
36:43Oh, an ancient lineage there.
36:45You know, you must be descended from Archbishop Kolchak of Krakow,
36:49who defended the church from the Magyar onslaught.
36:52Really?
36:53Oh, that's a proud line you're from.
36:56That's terrific. I didn't know that.
36:58My grandmother always told me that we were descended from slobs.
37:01Oh, no. Archbishop Kolchak.
37:04Maura, you have the Kolchak crest back there, don't you?
37:08I'm sure we do, honey.
37:09No, no, no, wait. That's very interesting.
37:11But, you see, I'm not interested in buying a coat of arms.
37:13I'm a reporter. I need some information about a shield.
37:16Uh, we're in the business of selling coats of arms.
37:19Uh, mostly mail order. We're very busy today.
37:23Yeah, well, I guess I'll buy a coat of arms.
37:27Uh, twelve dollars with a pine plaque.
37:29Twelve bucks, huh?
37:30Listen, the shield I saw was red, with a black lion sitting on top of it,
37:34and then there was a diagonal stripe of black down across it.
37:36Now, we call that the lion rampant and the black bend sinister.
37:41Uh-huh.
37:41Now, what you're describing is the heroic design of the infamous Metancore family of Burgundy.
37:47Infamous?
37:48Oh, bad people. The last of the line, Guy de Metancore, was particularly a pig.
37:54Uh, even by today's standards, he stayed behind in Burgundy.
37:57He didn't go to the Crusades. He amassed a fortune.
38:00He's slaying even women and children.
38:02Here we are. Of course, when we mail it to you, it will have Kolchak emblazoned beneath,
38:08hand-lettered by one of our artists.
38:10Oh, it has such striking colors. I think it really deserves a walnut plaque.
38:14For only sixty dollars.
38:16A pine will be fine.
38:17Oh, but if I had your ancestry, I'd flaunt it.
38:20Did Roger tell you about Baron the General Joachim Mintz Kolchak?
38:24He was the military advisor for the Emperor Franz Josef.
38:28They called him the Lion of Warsaw.
38:31Uh-huh.
38:32I got a hunch it'll be the walnut.
38:35Uh, hmm. Yeah, could you take a check?
38:39No, of course.
38:41Now, you're talking about Guy de, uh...
38:43Metancore.
38:45Now, his family had the finest vineyards in Burgundy, Chateau Metancore.
38:50But Guy himself hated human pleasures.
38:54He became a pariah in his own time.
38:57Uh-huh.
38:57Yeah, I've known a few like that myself.
38:59So what do you mean he hated all human pleasures?
39:01Oh, he consorted with dabblers in the black arts.
39:04He became a legendary for his invincibility and his unchivalrous acts.
39:11Here, here we are, right here.
39:13Oh, yeah.
39:14Now, after he had killed a foe, it was his custom to wipe the blood from his weapon on the
39:23flying colors of the dead foe.
39:25It's a gesture of contempt.
39:27Well, what are flying colors?
39:28Oh, silk scarf, a bright piece of clothing.
39:32How about a pillowcase or a sport jacket?
39:35I beg your pardon?
39:37Yeah.
39:39Thank you very much.
39:46Gee.
39:48Gee.
39:53There he is, the black knight.
40:02Uh-huh.
40:02Yeah, yeah.
40:03No, no, no, no, no, no.
40:05The Heidecker Company importers.
40:08Yeah, right, Ernie.
40:09Right.
40:09They were bought out by Canadian American Leisure.
40:12Well, now, what were the fancy French labels they used to import?
40:17Oh, you mean they did import Chateau Metancourt.
40:20Oh, that's terrific.
40:22Well, listen, I'll send you a case of scotch, only you're already in the liquor business.
40:26I got it, Tony.
40:27Carl, did you have to use the whole bottle?
40:29Hmm?
40:30Phew.
40:31Oh, uh...
40:32Now, Carl, look.
40:33You were supposed to be covering, among other things, the death of Brewster Hawking of Chicago of the 20th century.
40:38Now, as I read your notes here, you're trying to pin this killing and several others on a 12th century
40:43French knight.
40:45Am I correct there, Carl?
40:46Oh, it's bizarre, Tony.
40:48It's incredible, but I do believe that's what's happening.
40:50What rot.
40:50And I have to sit here and write financial news, and he can just go...
40:53Uh, Ron, Ron.
40:53Well, look, Carl, I saw my sister-in-law have a nervous breakdown, and it was messy.
41:00Now, I recognize all the symptoms, Carl.
41:03Oh.
41:03Fantasy, the inability to concentrate on real issues.
41:07Yeah, well, it probably runs in the family, Tony.
41:09Uh, listen, just because it sounds strange doesn't mean any reason for me to go to the lollipop factory.
41:15Guy de Metancourt was an ogre.
41:18He had a suit of armor fashioned by a necromancer, a sorcerer.
41:20It made him impregnable to attack.
41:23Yeah, you see what I mean?
41:24Fantasy.
41:25So, there's armor at the Heidecker Museum.
41:27So, what does that mean?
41:28It's an empty suit.
41:30It's just a glorified set of drain pipes, that's all.
41:33Now, you come in here rambling about some blessed battle axe and Pope Gregory
41:38and smelling like a vase full of dead begonias.
41:40No, no, that's Minerva Mussel's perfume.
41:42Carl.
41:44Carl, what is happening in your life?
41:47Okay.
41:48All right.
41:50Now, the armor and the battle axe are both done at the museum.
41:54The whole story is there.
41:55Now, Pope Gregory blessed that battle axe and asked a knight of Strasbourg to do battle with Metancourt.
42:00Now, the holy axe was the only thing that could pierce Metancourt's armor.
42:03And it did.
42:04Metancourt died, but he swore with his last breath that music and human gaiety would never be permitted around his
42:10resting place.
42:11You see, he was a misanthrope.
42:12Well, what beef could he have with Brewster Hocking or Minerva Mussel?
42:18Their great-grandfathers hadn't even been born yet.
42:20Can you understand that? Can you see that, Carl?
42:23You see, Brewster and Minerva were both parties to a plan to turn the Heidecker Museum into a medieval steak
42:29and lobster discotheque.
42:30And this misanthropic knight took issue with that?
42:34It's all part of a curse, Tony.
42:35You see, I saw this knight, this walk into Minerva's bedroom and kill her.
42:38I mean, I saw it, man.
42:39He walked in there and I saw it.
42:41All right, Carl, let us say that you saw this knight walk into a bedroom.
42:46Just let's suppose that.
42:47That's right.
42:47Must we also assume that it had to be a Frenchman out of the year 1227?
42:52Does our logic dictate that it had to be some superhuman ghost?
42:56I know where you're heading, Tony, and you're wrong.
42:59I've already been there.
43:00Leo Ramutka.
43:01I mean, he's a ward boss.
43:02What does he know about museums and discotheques?
43:04Tony, the Heidecker Museum is too old to be remodeled.
43:08You see, it's below building codes.
43:10Now, guess who was interceding with the building department to get a variance, huh?
43:14Leo Ramutka.
43:15And Mr. Rolf Danvers, Tony, Rolf Danvers owned the lot next door to the museum.
43:20Parking, Tony. Parking.
43:22Carl, why don't you rest a little bit?
43:23Why don't you come into my office, lie down on the sofa and relax, take a shower, clean yourself up.
43:27Rest, sleep on my sofa.
43:28No, no, Tony. No, no, no.
43:30I'll be back with the most amazing, astounding story that you ever heard.
43:33And you're going to beat your little fingers to a bloody pulp over there on the teletypes
43:36so we can get the whole story out to our customers.
43:39Carl, Carl, Carl, please stay a while.
43:41Stay a while, Carl, and have dinner with me.
43:43And look, I'll buy.
43:44You'll buy?
43:45Yes.
43:46What's the matter with you?
43:47You've suddenly lost your mind to something?
43:49Buy?
43:50You've never bought anything in your mind.
43:55It's my sister-in-law all over again.
44:03I don't know.
44:05I don't know.
44:06Maybe it's my fault.
44:07Maybe I've been browbeating him too much.
44:11Don't castigate yourself.
44:12No.
44:16It's my fault.
44:24I don't know.
44:25No.
44:28No.
44:28No.
44:28No.
44:34Não, não, não.
45:14Não, não, não.
45:38Não, não, não.
46:13Não, não.
46:18Não, não.
46:19Não, não.
46:22Não, não.
46:29Não, não.
46:31Não, não.
46:32Não, não.
47:07Não, não.
47:25Não, não.
47:31Não, não.
47:33Não, não.
47:33Não, não.
47:34Não, não.
47:35Não, não.
47:36Não, não.
47:36Não, não.
47:40Não, não.
47:45Não, não.
47:46Não, não.
48:00Não, não.
48:01Não, não.
48:05Não, não.
48:06Não, não.
48:19Não, não.
48:25Não, não.
48:29Não, não.
48:35Não, não.
48:39Não, não.
48:51Não, não.
48:51Não, não, não.
49:10Não, não, não.
49:22Não, não.
49:37Não, não.
49:43Não, não.
49:47Não, não, não.
50:15Não, não, não.
50:19Não, não, não.
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