00:01In 2086, two peaceful aliens journeyed to Earth, seeking our help.
00:07In return, they gave us the plans for our first hyperdrive, allowing mankind to open the doors to the stars.
00:19We have assembled a team of unique individuals to protect Earth and our allies,
00:24courageous pioneers committed to the highest ideals of justice,
00:28and dedicated to preserving law and order across the new frontier.
00:32These are the adventures of the Galaxy Rangers.
01:24The Galaxy Rangers
01:27happens to be treasures of art from a hundred different cultures, both human and alien, and priceless.
01:34Doc's right.
01:35This is an opportunity to generate a lot of goodwill among allied planets.
01:39But it's also an opportunity for big trouble, and we're supposed to make sure that trouble doesn't happen.
01:45It'll do you good to see an art show, Goose.
01:48I'd rather be chasing smugglers.
01:53We have you on scans, Ranger one.
01:55Tube three.
02:09That landscape's from Nebraska.
02:11The planet or the state?
02:13The planet, Doc.
02:14And that, hmm, that looks like a Zotrop mobile.
02:18What's that thing?
02:22This is a sensation doll.
02:24It was made by one of the Poe mutants.
02:28Edgar Allen Poe mutants, it looks like.
02:31Don't joke, my friend.
02:32Once upon a time, the Poe mutants controlled a vast empire.
02:35For a bunch of big shots, they sure made lousy art.
02:39It's not what you can see that's so special about this object.
02:44You're supposed to touch it.
02:46That's a good one.
02:47You're supposed to touch it, and it's stuck under a foot of glass.
02:50You bet it is, because unless you're a Poe, that thing is deadly.
02:55It's a kind of battery, a storage battery.
02:58It holds one million emotions, a hundred thousand kinds of fear, a quarter million varieties of anger, jealousy, love, one
03:09touch, and...
03:10Ha-ha! The emotional electric chair.
03:13Well, I guess we don't have to worry about somebody stealing this thing.
03:18Maybe not.
03:19This sounds funny, I know, but it looks almost alive.
03:23In a way, it is.
03:25It literally contains the personality of its maker.
03:31Let's make the rounds.
03:36Now, what time is it?
03:37Relax. We got three more hours till everybody clears out, and we can go to work.
03:55Looks good. I'll go first.
04:14I thought it was gonna go crazy cooped up inside that thing.
04:18Well, you'll forget all about that once you start counting your money, so let's get this business over with.
04:49Hey, what's going on?
04:51Come on. Let's get this business over with.
04:52Come on. Let's get out of here.
04:58Stay right where you are. If you move, you're a memory.
05:31You're a memory.
05:33Be careful with those pieces. Would you look at this mess?
05:40How could you let this happen?
05:43Take it easy, Curator.
05:45I've ordered a full station search.
05:48Good. Find any identification on the thief your men stopped?
05:52None, but we're running a few checks right now.
05:55So are we.
06:02That's how they got in here.
06:08They just sat all scrunched up in here until everybody was gone.
06:12Get down from there. Are you loony?
06:15Curator, when was this web and spider installed?
06:18Why, just yesterday morning.
06:21Early shuttle brought it in from Mars.
06:24The artist lives there in a colony called New Pigal.
06:27A woman named Arizona Magee.
06:30I've heard of her.
06:32Everybody's heard of Arizona.
06:34She's fabulously famous.
06:36And she couldn't possibly have had anything to do with this.
06:39That is out of the...
06:41Emergency! Area 7!
06:43Come on. Sounds like somebody's trying to leave.
06:46Wait for me!
06:58He's escaped!
06:59He's gone?
07:00You let him go?
07:02Listen, guys. I wasn't armed and he was.
07:06I don't get paid enough to be a hero.
07:08Galaxy Rangers, we're going to Mars.
07:11I think we should have a little talk with this Arizona Magee.
07:14Arizona Magee.
07:16Sensation dolls.
07:18Spiders from Mars.
07:19Now we're cooking!
07:27You're here!
07:28Let's go!
07:29When do we change?
07:32You're real!
07:39I don't know!
07:39Come on!
07:40Let's go!
07:41Go!
07:41Get down!
07:42Get down!
07:43Get down!
07:44Go!
07:45Get down!
07:46Get down!
07:47Go get down!
08:04Ah, you scared me, Mr. Subtract. I wasn't expecting you to be here.
08:10Oh, we've been waiting quite a while. Hope you don't mind. I gave my little friend some cake you had
08:16lying around.
08:17No, of course I don't mind. Well, I got it.
08:23Yeah, so I heard. Everybody's heard.
08:27What happened, Miller? You were both supposed to be back here by the time they even found out the Sensation
08:34doll was missing.
08:36I don't know what happened, Mr. Subtract. Everything was great until we grabbed the thing. And then they got Sanderson.
08:42Yeah, they did. But at least I got the doll. Miller, kindly open that suitcase, will you? I want to
08:54see what this thing looks like.
09:06So, there it is, Mr. Subtract. Uh, do you have the money with you?
09:11I'm really gonna need it fast.
09:14Easy, Crumb.
09:16Mr. Subtract, uh, my money!
09:20Hey! Hey! Hey, hey, what are you doing?
09:23No, no, no!
09:25Hey, hey, hey, hey!
09:27Hey, no, no, stop!
09:29No, no, no, no!
09:32Ah!
09:47What's the story here?
09:49Are the bugs taking over?
09:50Call the exterminator.
09:51Earth pests that stowed away on colonists' ships
09:55have found Mars much to their liking.
10:08Well, I guess we know where the artist gets her inspiration.
10:13Arizona! Arizona McGee!
10:15Miller, is that you? Where you been?
10:19Who are you?
10:21I thought you were Miller.
10:23Miller?
10:25My helper!
10:26You don't think I lug all this heavy metal around by myself, do you?
10:30Are you people art collectors?
10:33Do you want to buy something?
10:35This helper of yours, Miller, by any chance,
10:38did he recently deliver a sculpture of yours to the show on Beta Space Station?
10:42Yes, just yesterday.
10:44What's the problem?
10:46Do you happen to know where Mr. Miller lives?
10:50You're police, aren't you?
10:53What's a galaxy ranger?
10:55Would you please come along with us and show us where Miller lives?
10:59We'll explain everything along the way.
11:02You sell much of this stuff?
11:04Believe it or not, yes!
11:14I don't understand.
11:17You think he hid inside my sculpture?
11:24If I get my hands on Subtract with doing this to me, I'll...
11:29I'm so mad I could tear him to pieces!
11:33I'm sorry I ever got involved in this thing.
11:36Why did I let Jackie Subtract talk me into it?
11:39I'm sorry, Arizona!
11:41I'm really sorry!
11:44He touched the doll.
11:46Sounds as if he was forced to.
11:47The emotional electric chair.
11:51You all really hate me!
11:54Well, I hate you too!
11:59This Jackie Subtract who talked you into this.
12:02Does he have the sensation doll now?
12:05If I tell you where he is, will you promise not to hurt me?
12:08We won't.
12:09Jackie lives over in the lowest east side.
12:12Everybody knows Jackie Subtract over there.
12:15Now please go away.
12:25You want what?
12:27A Mars Ruby.
12:29Go to the jewelry store.
12:30Don't come to me.
12:31The Ruby I want isn't for sale.
12:34The owner wants to keep it.
12:36But I want it.
12:38You want somebody to steal this Ruby for you, is that it?
12:42You don't want me, lady.
12:43You want Jackie Subtract.
12:46Pandemonium Street, number 301.
12:59Good little bug.
13:02Hey boss, this lady wants to talk to you.
13:06Now, what's all this I hear about a Ruby that's not for sale?
13:12I'm not interested in a Ruby, Mr. Subtract.
13:15What really interests me is a little doll.
13:20Ah, I see.
13:28I need some help in here.
13:31You ain't.
13:49Me trick.
13:50If he leaves the building by the back exit, he'll run right into Goose.
14:03Ooh.
14:05Crom!
14:10Crom! Here, Crom! Come to Daddy!
14:41Where's the doll, creep?
14:43Doll? I don't play with dolls. Can't you see I'm a grown man?
14:49Don't get funny with me, pal. I'm warning you.
14:53Crom! You naughty girl! Where have you been?
14:58I don't believe this. A trained roach. This job just keeps getting better.
15:05Crom! Attack!
15:10Yuck!
15:12Don't hurt Crom. Have a heart. Leave my pet alone.
15:17Tell me where the doll is or I'll squash this bug.
15:20Alright, just don't hurt her.
15:22Where is it?
15:23It's on its way to Earth. There's a guy there who collects statues and sculptures and stuff for this weird
15:31garden that he's got.
15:32I had the doll stolen for him.
15:34Where on Earth?
15:39I ran a check on this collector. He's an art lover, alright. What he loves, he buys. What he can't
15:46buy, he steals and smuggles from Tortuna to New Jersey.
15:50And he lives in New Jersey? He owns New Jersey!
15:58Roger, Ranger One. You are cleared for landing.
16:16Oh, it's so beautifully ugly, isn't it, Peters?
16:20If you say so, sir.
16:23If you say so, sir.
16:23The sun comes out at night, doesn't it, Peters?
16:26If you say so, sir.
16:29Sir, apparently some intruders have entered the property.
16:33Oh, I wonder if they've come for you.
16:48I don't think we need worry too much about intruders.
16:56This garden, something tells me it's not as innocent as it looks.
17:21Now I know why we haven't seen any guards around here.
17:25Wah!
17:47I think there's the man to see.
17:50Be careful.
17:59The fountain! Blast the fountain!
18:11My fire fountain!
18:14Those really speeds have destroyed my fire fountain!
18:19If you say so, sir.
18:21There's something very familiar about the Collector.
18:28You two deal with the Collector.
18:30We'll take care of ourselves.
18:33Got an idea.
18:34We have to move together, okay?
18:36Drag this thing towards that tree over there.
18:47Goose, it's Brapo.
18:49And he's got the dog.
18:51Remember, don't touch it.
18:52Worse than gum on my boot.
19:00I'm billing him for dry cleaning.
19:03You cost us a lot of trouble, Brapo.
19:05Now I'm gonna cause you some.
19:08Peters, get rid of him.
19:15I quit, sir.
19:19Peters!
19:20All right.
19:22How much do you want?
19:24Don't make me mad.
19:25We're here for the doll.
19:27You can't have it.
19:29It's...
19:31Aaaah!
19:32Ha!
19:35Niko!
19:37No!
19:37No!
19:38No!
19:54Don't touch him!
19:57Mommy!
19:59Goose, can you hear me?
20:08Goose? How do you feel, Gooseman?
20:11Feel?
20:13I feel wonderful.
20:17Go to sleep, my masterpiece. You're safe now.
20:20What happened? Why didn't he...
20:22He did. Goose absorbed everything that the Sensation Doll had to give.
20:27One million emotions.
20:30But Goose's biodefenses protected him in a very special way.
20:36Do you remember what Nico said?
20:38That doll contains the life force of its maker.
20:42And Goose absorbed that life force.
20:44He became that Poe Mutant Artist.
20:47Goose? An artist?
20:49Then I'm Santa Claus.
20:51One million emotions.
20:53What was it like? Come on.
20:55What was what like?
20:57I didn't feel a thing, I'm telling you.
20:59You know us Super Troopers, Doc.
21:01We get angry and we get mad.
21:04And that's about as emotional as we ever get.
21:08Right?
21:28We get angry and we're worried.
21:35We get mad.
21:38All the clouds of tears
21:40Into this world
21:43But no danger they're high
21:46There's galaxy angels
21:50Heels in the sky
21:51No bets, no glory
21:54No man, no game
21:58One for all
22:00All for one
22:02Riding on the green
22:04No bets, no glory
22:06Oh, taking a stand
22:11Ready to prove it again
22:16No bets, no glory
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