#nostalgia #fullmovie #fullmovies #tvcommercials #videogamecommercials #gamingcommercials #oldvideogamecommercials #90scommercials #90sads #1990scommercials #2000scommercials #2000sads #2001commercials #1991 #1992 #blockbuster #tacobell #nintendo #nintendocommercials #mcdonalds #dailymotion #youtube #facebook #twitter #twitch #motiongraphics #deezer #tv #dlive #instagram #stream #motion #twitchstreamer #fightingmentalillness #twitchclips #twitchretweet #twitchaffiliate #twitchshare #ant #scribaland #tiktok #greece #spotify #gelio #games #vimeo #google #motionmate #youtuber #greekquotes #vhs #fullmovies #fullmovie #music #video #funny #gaming #viral #trending #popular #movie #movies #trailers #sports #news #entertainment #education #howto #diy #travel #food #animals #cars #technology #science #top #acharliebrownthanksgiving #timetraveltv #charliebrown #2000 #a #animated #movie #movies #anime #videogames #digimon #donkeykong #supernintendo
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:15Horse. Noun. Plural. Horses. Definition one. A male horse, a stallion, or gelding. Definition
00:00:24two. Any large, solid-hoofed... Her... Herbie... Herba... Ah, forget it. Some anthropological
00:00:33type guys claim that prehistoric horses had larynx muscles in their throats. Recent
00:00:40findings suggest that this gene may actually have been passed down from generation to generation.
00:00:45Some primitive cultures believe that the equine was created in God's image. Noble, mighty,
00:00:52brilliant, sublime. And it was only after he finished perfecting his masterpiece known
00:00:58as Horse that God turned his attention to the lesser animal. Look at this guy.
00:02:53Oh, a son of a bitch.
00:02:55For God's sake.
00:02:57Buenos dias, senor.
00:02:59I'm not here, Carlos.
00:03:01Very sorry to hear about your wife, senor Sawyer.
00:03:03Yeah, right, right.
00:03:04Not now, for Christ's sake.
00:03:07I'm sorry, son of a bitch.
00:03:11First it was your office, then it was Motel 8.
00:03:14Why can't you take me somewhere by the ocean?
00:03:17I'm a service.
00:03:24I can't wait till we get married.
00:03:27I don't know if I remember how to make love in the bed anymore.
00:03:29Mm-hmm.
00:03:34Walter.
00:03:35Huh?
00:03:35Walter.
00:03:36What?
00:03:37That horse.
00:03:38What about him?
00:03:40I don't know.
00:03:41Looks like he knows something.
00:03:43Please.
00:03:44Walter.
00:03:45Walter.
00:03:46What, baby?
00:03:47Walter.
00:03:47What?
00:03:48It's that horse.
00:03:50Well, what about him, for Christ's sake?
00:03:51Can't we use blinders or something?
00:03:55Huh?
00:03:57Not me, the horse.
00:04:00Mm.
00:04:01Next week, dog meat.
00:04:07Hi, Carlos.
00:04:08Your stepfather no here.
00:04:10He's in store 47.
00:04:19Brad, man.
00:04:22My mother just died.
00:04:25You think this is easy for me?
00:04:33I can't buy 10,000 shares of Cromwell for Mrs. Patel.
00:04:37Well, we just sold 10,000 shares for her.
00:04:39Yes, we did.
00:04:41Oh, right.
00:04:42The commission.
00:04:43Right, the commission.
00:04:44Every time we buy or sell a stock, we make a commission.
00:04:47That's how we make our living.
00:04:49Just buy the stock, Pomeroy.
00:04:51The old bitch is made of money.
00:04:52She won't even notice.
00:04:53Have you seen the moron?
00:04:55Fred?
00:04:56Yes.
00:04:56No.
00:04:57When he comes in, tell him I want to see him.
00:05:00Yes, sir.
00:05:05Allison.
00:05:06Allison.
00:05:06Ow.
00:05:06Sorry.
00:05:08It was my fault.
00:05:09It doesn't matter.
00:05:12Are you doing okay?
00:05:13Yeah.
00:05:16Hey, well, if there's anything that I can do, just let me know.
00:05:22I'm telling you, Jack, who never officially changed ownership of the damn business.
00:05:26Now I just found out the bitch left her half of it to him.
00:05:30Whoa, whoa.
00:05:32Yes, Reverend.
00:05:35Yes.
00:05:37And God bless you, too, sir.
00:05:41Oh, Freddie.
00:05:44This man.
00:05:47He makes it a little easier.
00:05:51I'm sorry, Freddie.
00:05:52Sit down.
00:05:53You know, Fred, times like these, I always felt people should be close to those they love.
00:06:00Yeah, right.
00:06:02Freddie, what do you think of me?
00:06:04Um, I don't want to be rude, but I think you're like the lowest scumbag on the face of the
00:06:12earth.
00:06:13Mm-hmm.
00:06:14But do you like me, or do you...
00:06:16Oh, well, that's not important.
00:06:18Let me just come right to the point here, Freddie.
00:06:20I have a copy of your mother's will here.
00:06:23Now, you may or may not know this, I don't know, but we kept half of the brokerage in her
00:06:29name for tax reasons.
00:06:30And because her death was so sudden, we didn't have time to change the darn thing.
00:06:36And she's left all her assets.
00:06:38It's one horse and half the brokerage to you.
00:06:45So that means half the firm is mine?
00:06:49Well, legally, yes.
00:06:50And that's why I think you're going to be a very happy young man, because I'm prepared to buy you
00:06:55out at what I think is an excellent price.
00:06:59What if I don't want to sell it?
00:07:00Well, then once again, Freddie, you'd be a little stupid.
00:07:03Now, you take this offer.
00:07:05You trust me on this.
00:07:08There you go.
00:07:18That's cash.
00:07:19Mostly cash.
00:07:34Hi, Fred.
00:07:38Oh, Walter asked me to pack your things for you.
00:07:48Every dog has a taste, Sawyer.
00:07:55Okay, so where's Don?
00:07:57Straight ahead.
00:07:59I could probably like sell this thoroughbred for a lot of cash, right?
00:08:03Hmm.
00:08:06Senor Shaley, this is Don.
00:08:10Is he sick?
00:08:12No.
00:08:13He always looks like that.
00:08:15He's all yours.
00:08:16Buenas noches.
00:08:17Thanks.
00:08:24That's soive.
00:08:26The guy.
00:08:26Oh, he's such a, he's such a...
00:08:30Dick.
00:08:31Yeah.
00:08:33Fred, we got to talk.
00:08:37Jesus, don't scream like that.
00:08:46Hello.
00:08:46Listen, Sawyer.
00:08:48I know what you're trying to do with this talking to this bitch, and it's not gonna work.
00:08:54Fred, come over here.
00:08:56Come on.
00:08:57Come on.
00:08:59Oh, listen, Fred.
00:09:00Now, Fred.
00:09:01No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
00:09:04no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:04I can't talk.
00:09:06Ah!
00:09:07Oh, would you calm down?
00:09:08Now, read my lips.
00:09:10We gotta talk.
00:09:11There's an old truck parked out back.
00:09:13I left the keys, uh, under the visor.
00:09:15Now, let's get out of here.
00:09:17This place smells like a pigsty.
00:09:23Oh, fresh air.
00:09:25Now, where was I?
00:09:26Oh, yeah, I speak human, giraffe, worm, toad, whale, humpback, and sperm.
00:09:32You might say I'm a four-legged Dr. Doolittle.
00:09:34So, Tom, do all horses speak English?
00:09:37What, are you kidding?
00:09:39Look, all horses can understand English, but only the chosen can speak it.
00:09:44What about, like, Mr. Ed?
00:09:47Mr. Ed?
00:09:48That's what I think of Mr. Ed.
00:09:49Every single word of that was dubbed.
00:09:51His lips were, like, moving.
00:09:52Look, you'd move your lips, too, if some stagehand was shoving a carrot up your butt.
00:09:56Mr. Ed.
00:10:00I guess you're curious about my childhood.
00:10:03Not particularly.
00:10:04Well, I was raised on a small farm.
00:10:07Oh, I was restless.
00:10:08Wild, I guess you could call it.
00:10:09A lot like James Dean, except I slept standing up.
00:10:13Anyway, my old man and I never got along, and finally I just split.
00:10:17A few weeks later, I met Gideon Cole.
00:10:21Oh, he was a great blues singer.
00:10:23He was a blind man.
00:10:25You know, for a while, I had him convinced I was a short, hairy Italian boy from the Bronx.
00:10:31Terrible, I know, but it's true.
00:10:33Oh.
00:10:34Hey, Gideon, my oofs are killing me.
00:10:38What the hell?
00:10:42God, that Gideon.
00:10:43He had a terrific sense of rhythm, but a real shitty sense of balance.
00:10:47You know, he used to stand right on the edge of the boxcar.
00:10:51Well, one day, the train made a sudden stop outside of St. Louis.
00:10:54Well, he went flying right off, and I never saw him again.
00:10:57I guess he's riding that great freight train in the sky.
00:11:01Or he's still spitting out a lot of dirt.
00:11:04It was right after that that I met up with your real father, Dave.
00:11:07What a great guy.
00:11:09We were two of a kind.
00:11:10Since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell.
00:11:15Down at the end, a lonely street, heartbreak hotel.
00:11:20I get so lonely, baby.
00:11:22I get so lonely.
00:11:24Baby, I get so lonely.
00:11:26I could die.
00:11:27Oh, we love the king.
00:11:29You know, your dad and I saw Blue Hawaii 12 times.
00:11:32When he died and your mother married Sawyer, I just stayed in the stable.
00:11:36Jeez.
00:11:38I haven't spoken to anybody in a long, long time.
00:11:40I'm really glad you came along, Fred.
00:11:42Don, you don't need me.
00:11:44You're a talking horse.
00:11:45You can make a fortune.
00:11:46Oh, sure.
00:11:47You just get up in front of people and then talk, huh?
00:11:50Ha!
00:11:50Go public.
00:11:52Do the talk shows.
00:11:54Letterman, Donahue, Carson, Geraldo Rivera.
00:11:57Oprah Winfrey.
00:11:58It's not that easy, Freddy boy.
00:12:01I only wish it was.
00:12:02The talking world can put an unbelievable amount of pressure on an animal,
00:12:06especially when you're a horse.
00:12:08For example, take my brother Lou.
00:12:09Please.
00:12:12You know you're going to like my brother Lou.
00:12:14You guys got a lot in common.
00:12:19My preposces.
00:12:22Doctor, this operation shall go down in history.
00:12:25Fred, watch this.
00:12:28Paging Mr. Horse.
00:12:29Mr. Lou Horse.
00:12:30Paging Mr. Horse.
00:12:32Hey, I'm Lou.
00:12:33Jesus, Lou, are you stupid?
00:12:36Hello, Lou.
00:12:38Certainly.
00:12:39Yeah, it's good to see you too, Lou.
00:12:41Where's Mom and Pop?
00:12:42Look who's back.
00:12:44Pop, this is my new friend.
00:12:47Is it male or female?
00:12:49I can never tell when they have their clothes on.
00:12:52It's a guy, Pop, and his name is Fred.
00:12:55We're having a party.
00:12:57It's a pleasure meeting you, sir.
00:12:59Hey, and this is my mom.
00:13:01She doesn't talk, but she understands.
00:13:06Oh, Ma, I can't ask him that.
00:13:09She wants to know what it's like to face somebody during sex.
00:13:12Well, um...
00:13:13Well, as long as you're here, you might as well come in.
00:13:16Meow, meow, meow, meow.
00:13:17Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
00:13:18Mother, he never writes.
00:13:20He never calls.
00:13:22Now he brings home a human.
00:13:24You know how they are.
00:13:25You probably want something to eat.
00:13:27Meow, meow, meow, meow.
00:13:28Fred, listen to me.
00:13:30Never have kids.
00:13:32It'll break your friggin' heart.
00:13:34Look what we ended up with.
00:13:36James Dean and the Fourth Stooge.
00:13:38You know when I think Lou started to crack?
00:13:42When?
00:13:43When he saw The Godfather.
00:13:44You know that scene with the horse's head?
00:13:47Yeah, that was his favorite actor.
00:13:49Oh, look.
00:13:49Oh, look.
00:13:50I made it.
00:13:51Well, um...
00:13:52It was a pleasure meeting you, but, um...
00:13:55It's getting kind of late,
00:13:56and I gotta head back into town, okay?
00:13:59Mm-hmm.
00:13:59Good luck with Lou.
00:14:01Mm-hmm.
00:14:02Goodbye, Doug.
00:14:04What?
00:14:05Hey, Fred, wait up.
00:14:10What do you mean, I was hard on him?
00:14:14So what are you gonna do with your half of the business, Fred?
00:14:17I don't know.
00:14:17I guess I'll sell it to Sawyer.
00:14:19Oh.
00:14:19Do you know anything about the stock market?
00:14:21Uh, well, not much.
00:14:23Really?
00:14:23Actually, I used to work at the brokerage,
00:14:25but Sawyer kept me in the mail room.
00:14:27Hmm.
00:14:27Said I didn't have the right image for the place.
00:14:30Hmm.
00:14:30Got pretty depressing down there, so...
00:14:32Hmm.
00:14:32So I quit.
00:14:33You know what would really burn that buck-toothed bozo's butt,
00:14:36but good?
00:14:36What?
00:14:37If you ran with your half of the business.
00:14:39Ah, I couldn't do that.
00:14:41Oh, come on.
00:14:42I've listened to those brokers down at the riding club.
00:14:44They don't know anything that you don't know.
00:14:46It would be fun to see the look on Sawyer's face
00:14:48if, uh, if I became his partner.
00:14:50Maybe that's why your mom left it to you.
00:14:52Come on.
00:14:52What do you say?
00:14:53Give it a shot.
00:14:54Good.
00:14:55Good decision.
00:14:55We'll talk about it on the way home.
00:14:58Home?
00:14:58Yeah, I'm gonna move in with you.
00:15:00I'll flip you for the couch.
00:15:01Uh, yeah, you can't live with me.
00:15:03Why not?
00:15:05Because you're a horse.
00:15:06Because I'm a horse.
00:15:07Is that what you said?
00:15:09Oh, I knew this would come up eventually.
00:15:10You're a bigot.
00:15:11Dad, I gotta go.
00:15:11Huh?
00:15:11You stay here with your family.
00:15:13Oh, no.
00:15:13Take care of Luke.
00:15:14You're not going A, you.
00:15:15You know, you're all bigots.
00:15:17With your automobiles and your pants and your postal system.
00:15:20La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:15:21Fred?
00:15:22I can't hear you, Dad.
00:15:23La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
00:15:26Bye, Dad.
00:15:28Fred?
00:15:28Fred?
00:15:37Hello, Allison.
00:15:39Hello, Allison.
00:15:44Decide to take my offer?
00:15:46No, I've decided to work.
00:15:48All right.
00:15:52Bertie?
00:15:52Could I get back to you, buddy?
00:15:54Okay, pal.
00:15:55Yeah.
00:15:59What do you mean, work?
00:16:00Well, like, you know, you mean we're partners.
00:16:02You know, I'm into this thing 50-50 with you, right?
00:16:04So, right there, that's going to be my office.
00:16:07And right here in the conference room,
00:16:09right down the middle of the conference room,
00:16:11that'll be the dividing line.
00:16:13So, um, if you need me or anything like that,
00:16:16just like, who, you know, who?
00:16:19Freddie, what are you talking about?
00:16:22What, is there some kind of a trick
00:16:23to get me to raise the buyout offer?
00:16:27No.
00:16:27All right, you win.
00:16:29I'll double the price.
00:16:31That's fair enough.
00:16:33Deal?
00:16:33I got a lot of really important business stuff to do.
00:16:36I really don't have time, you know,
00:16:37for chit-chat right now.
00:16:38Freddie, you can't be a broker.
00:16:41Why not?
00:16:42Because who in their right mind
00:16:43would give you their money?
00:16:45You'd be quite surprised.
00:16:46I would be freaking amazed.
00:16:48I don't have time for this right now.
00:16:50If I need you, I'll call.
00:16:51See you later, partner.
00:16:54Hello, this is the chairman
00:16:55of the board of Sawyer Company.
00:16:56I'd like to order some pizzas, please.
00:16:59Uh-huh.
00:17:11Get him out of here, Osborne.
00:17:13I don't care what it takes.
00:17:15You get him out of here,
00:17:16and I'll give you...
00:17:18something.
00:17:28Hello, baby.
00:17:31The king is back in town.
00:17:34Ted, where are you going?
00:17:37Be right back, sweet lips.
00:17:38Just gotta make a quick call.
00:17:40Make it fast.
00:17:50Bob, it's Ted.
00:17:51I can't find Sawyer anywhere.
00:17:53If we don't tell him
00:17:53that MicroCorp is gonna make
00:17:54a takeover bid for Ventura
00:17:56in the next hour,
00:17:56we stand to lose a lot of money.
00:17:58Hmm.
00:18:00Whoever buys Ventura
00:18:01is gonna clean up.
00:18:02Hmm.
00:18:03Ted, I'm cold.
00:18:04Goodbye.
00:18:07Sorry, sweetheart.
00:18:08Something important came up.
00:18:11Hmm.
00:18:12Be right back, Toots.
00:18:13Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
00:18:15Mm-hmm.
00:18:17Hey, what is this?
00:18:18What's going on here?
00:18:19Somebody locked the door.
00:18:20Hey, somebody locked the door.
00:18:24Nice, nice.
00:18:25Your daughter.
00:18:26Ding.
00:18:28Hang on.
00:18:31Hello, um, Fred P. Tenney here.
00:18:33How can I help you?
00:18:34Walter, listen carefully.
00:18:35Um, no, this isn't Walter.
00:18:37Shut up, Walter.
00:18:37We don't have much time.
00:18:39MicroCorp is gonna make
00:18:40a bid for Ventura.
00:18:41You've gotta move fast.
00:18:43It's gonna be all over the street
00:18:44any second.
00:18:44Ventura!
00:18:45Oi, Ventura!
00:18:48Denise, get in here right away.
00:18:50Please.
00:18:52We need to buy something
00:18:54called Ventura.
00:18:55Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
00:18:58Sorry, my pet.
00:18:59Now, where were we?
00:19:00Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:19:02What's he doing?
00:19:03He just dumped a big wad
00:19:04into Ventura.
00:19:06Ventura?
00:19:07What's it going for?
00:19:09Yesterday, it was a robust
00:19:10two and a half.
00:19:11Today, Osborne, today.
00:19:13Yes, sir.
00:19:15Wait a minute.
00:19:16That's the company
00:19:17Ted was supposed to call
00:19:18about a takeover bid.
00:19:20Ah!
00:19:2128, sir.
00:19:2328 and a half.
00:19:2629.
00:19:27Buy it, Osborne.
00:19:28Buy whatever you can get.
00:19:29It's frozen.
00:19:30Frozen?
00:19:30Oh, Mr.
00:19:32Cheney!
00:19:34How in a mother goose
00:19:35did he know that?
00:19:48Sorry, he's in conference now.
00:19:49Mr. Cheney's office?
00:19:50Could you please...
00:19:51Mr. Cheney's office?
00:19:53He's got you.
00:20:00Oh, I can hold on my mouth
00:20:02It's you in my place
00:20:06Choke another one now
00:20:09Right behind my back
00:20:12Do it from a favor
00:20:14Get yourself a fight
00:20:15Everybody's choking on the paint line
00:20:19Ah!
00:20:30I must tell you, the owners were a little hesitant to rent to a single man of your age.
00:20:34But I assured them that you were dressed very nicely and that your appearance was, uh...
00:20:41Shall we go in?
00:20:57Holy shit!
00:20:58I beg your pardon.
00:21:00Um, wow!
00:21:02Living room, dining room, kitchen.
00:21:07I told them to leave the piano.
00:21:09I didn't know how you felt, but I think it lands a certain gennissiquois, don't you?
00:21:14Yeah, um, God!
00:21:17I think you'll get a kick out of this.
00:21:20What is it, like a little yard?
00:21:23It's an atrium.
00:21:26Oh, an atrium?
00:21:28Yeah, I had one of these in the last place I lived.
00:21:39That's really tasteful.
00:21:41It looks like a disco for fun.
00:21:46You must have a lot of job stress.
00:21:48No!
00:21:50I mean, nothing I can't handle.
00:21:55Well, I'm sure you'll be very happy here.
00:21:58Enjoy your new space.
00:22:02Well, thank you for showing me my new space.
00:22:27I'm going to be a guy.
00:22:33I'm going to be a guy.
00:22:35Oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, I got a gal, name's Lou, she knows
00:22:44just what to do, she knows just what to do, she knows how to love me, yes, indeed, hello, information,
00:22:54yes, no, I just, I just wanted to call you, guess where I'm calling from, yes, my car, listen, that
00:23:02was traffic.
00:23:17These babies sure have excellent speak and heart, yes, indeed, why you don't know what you do to me?
00:23:25Oh, Rudy, Rudy, oh, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, oh, Rudy, Rudy, oh, Rudy, Rudy, oh, Rudy, go to her, Rudy, oh,
00:23:33Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy.
00:23:39Hey, boy, I wonder, got any hot tips for a co-worker?
00:23:43Um, no, not today.
00:23:45Although, I was looking at the numbers on micro-dynamics,
00:23:49and they look quite promising.
00:23:52Well, um, they just declared bankruptcy this morning.
00:23:56Um, yeah, that's what I thought.
00:23:58Um, I was wondering, like, if, you know, you weren't doing anything on Friday night,
00:24:03if you'd like to go to a movie with me?
00:24:05Say what? That's my bullet lead night.
00:24:17Hmm. What's this?
00:24:20New partner makes big waves. Hmm.
00:24:26Well, well, Mr. Photogenic.
00:24:28Fred, it's time I paid you a visit.
00:24:47Oh.
00:24:49Oh!
00:24:51Oh!
00:24:55Oh!
00:24:56Oh!
00:24:56Oh.
00:24:57Oh!
00:24:57Time!
00:24:58Oh!
00:24:59Oh, are you the Grim Reaper?
00:25:03No, it's Fred.
00:25:05Oh, Fred, I'm coughing.
00:25:07Listen, I need a priest.
00:25:12I'm gonna get you a vet.
00:25:13No, no vets.
00:25:17Fred, before I pass on, I want to tell you how happy I am that you've made it and you're
00:25:25rich and that you live in a big, beautiful, roomy, palatial...
00:25:29I think you better come upstairs with me and get something to eat.
00:25:32Gee, Fred, I wouldn't want to impose on you.
00:25:36No, I insist.
00:25:39Come on.
00:25:43Boy, I really appreciate this, Fred.
00:25:46No, I don't want to inconvenience you in any way.
00:25:48I don't want to be a burden.
00:25:51By the way, do I have cable?
00:25:52Whoa, padded elevators.
00:25:56Fred, you've really made it.
00:25:58It makes me feel happy to know that I've helped.
00:26:00What do you mean, you helped?
00:26:02Yeah, you remember, Fred.
00:26:03That anonymous tip about the Ventura takeover.
00:26:06That was you?
00:26:08Walter, buy Ventura.
00:26:09Buy Ventura!
00:26:12I owe all this to a horse.
00:26:15Well, Fred, I wouldn't want you to feel obligated or anything, but, um, you know...
00:26:26Wow, this place reminds me of the Vatican.
00:26:29Swanky.
00:26:29Shh!
00:26:30Be quiet.
00:26:31I'm not supposed to have any animals in here.
00:26:32Okay, Fred.
00:26:33Why, look for a field.
00:26:39Mr. Chaney!
00:26:40Hey, watch the tail.
00:26:42Uh-huh!
00:26:44Was that a horse?
00:26:45No!
00:26:48My friends and myself, um, we're on our way to a costume party.
00:26:53Rather authentic costume?
00:26:55Well, they're real sticklers for details.
00:26:59Right, fellas?
00:27:00Yes, Fred.
00:27:01Yo, Fred.
00:27:02See, Fred.
00:27:14Man, that was close.
00:27:16I'll go get you a beverage.
00:27:18Yeah, something diet, please.
00:27:21Hey, Fred.
00:27:23Nice digs you got here.
00:27:24Very tasteful.
00:27:25Yeah, this will do just fine.
00:27:27You know, if I may, I only see one thing wrong with this place.
00:27:31What?
00:27:31Outside of a horse being in it?
00:27:32Well, it just doesn't look lived in.
00:27:35It feels like there should be plastic covers on the chairs or ropes around the furniture or something.
00:27:40You know what I mean?
00:27:41I like it just the way it is.
00:27:43It's fine with me.
00:27:44Okay, Fred.
00:27:45You're the boss.
00:27:46Yeah, I am the boss.
00:27:47That reminds me, there's gonna be a few rules around here.
00:27:50One, stay away from the windows and the doors.
00:27:53That jerk down the hall, if he sees you, boom, we'll both be out of here.
00:27:56Check.
00:27:57Two, um, these rides, you know, they're brand new.
00:28:01Two, no problem.
00:28:02No problem at all.
00:28:04I just hope you read a lot of newspapers.
00:28:06Yeah, I almost got married.
00:28:08I was living with this hot-blooded Arabian, you know.
00:28:11You lived with somebody?
00:28:12No way.
00:28:13Oh, I loved it and I hated it.
00:28:16What you love about it?
00:28:18Everything.
00:28:19Mm-hmm.
00:28:19Mm-hmm.
00:28:20Well, then, uh, what you hate about it?
00:28:22Everything else.
00:28:23So I woke up, I'm butt naked, everybody's looking at me.
00:28:27Mm-hmm.
00:28:28I tell you, that was the last time I ever drank tequila.
00:28:30I hear you.
00:28:33No more exclusives.
00:28:34We can't risk closing off the nest.
00:28:36Is there any type of gas we can use?
00:28:38No, we can't take a chance.
00:28:39It might poison the whole city.
00:28:40Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:28:44Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:28:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:28:47Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:28:54Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
00:28:58ha.
00:29:07I don't think interest rates are going to go up any higher.
00:29:10Yeah.
00:29:11So I'm going to stay out of the bond market.
00:29:12Ugh.
00:29:14What do you think?
00:29:15You want to know what I think?
00:29:16You really want to know what I think?
00:29:18I think you better get a bigger scooper.
00:29:21Hey, wait a second.
00:29:23Here's a good spot.
00:29:24¿Pero qué voy a hacer yo con caballo, Mr. Cheney, please?
00:29:28It's just a horse.
00:29:29Yes, I know it's a horse, but why?
00:29:32Um, it's only for a couple days.
00:29:36He's like a member of the family.
00:29:38Which side?
00:29:40Please, Mr. Cheney.
00:29:42Dios mÃo, ¿qué voy a hacer yo con caballo con esa mierda?
00:29:45¡Déjame quieta, Dios mÃo!
00:29:52Excuse me, excuse me.
00:29:55Thank you very much.
00:29:57Oh, that's very good.
00:29:59Oh, I'm sorry.
00:30:05Very good, very good, very good.
00:30:09I don't want to go to school.
00:30:18Hello, um, Fred P. Cheney here.
00:30:20How can I help you?
00:30:21Yeah, sorry to bother you at the office, Fred, but Business Week called and they wanted to
00:30:25talk to you.
00:30:26They wanted to talk to me?
00:30:28Yeah.
00:30:28They were offering 16 weeks for only $12.98.
00:30:31Hey, Fred, that's 25 cents off the newsstand price.
00:30:34So I grabbed it.
00:30:36You called to tell me that?
00:30:37No, I called because there's a party on the seventh floor tonight, and we're invited.
00:30:43Fred, when are you coming home?
00:30:45I am bored to tears.
00:30:46I'm done with work.
00:30:48Bye, Don.
00:30:50Third floor, fourth floor, fifth floor, sixth floor, seventh floor.
00:31:05Single man!
00:31:07Ah!
00:31:09Single!
00:31:13Just the man I was looking for.
00:31:16For what?
00:31:17For what?
00:31:18Oh, you're so funny!
00:31:22I'm so glad you're here.
00:31:24I've seen you in the building.
00:31:27Have some dip.
00:31:29You like anchovies?
00:31:33Ah!
00:31:36I love these.
00:31:38A woman can lock a man home, too.
00:31:41Aren't you gonna invite me in?
00:31:43No!
00:31:44Ah!
00:31:46Will you hate me in the morning?
00:31:49No, I'll hate you right now!
00:31:50May I come in?
00:31:52Good night!
00:31:52Thank you!
00:31:53Ah!
00:31:55This is nice.
00:31:56Look what you've done with this place.
00:31:59Mm-hmm.
00:32:00Mm-hmm.
00:32:01What a neat statue!
00:32:04Mm-hmm.
00:32:05This is beautiful!
00:32:07Mm-hmm.
00:32:08Huh?
00:32:09And so lifelike!
00:32:12Yeah, it's like that even after I go swimming.
00:32:15Wha...
00:32:16Wha...
00:32:17What did you say?
00:32:18I said it's like that even after I go swimming.
00:32:22Toots!
00:32:24Ah!
00:32:26Ah!
00:32:28Was it something I said?
00:32:30Ah!
00:32:39You pig!
00:32:40Say what?
00:32:41Sign.
00:32:42Hmm.
00:32:42I gotta thank you, man.
00:32:44You saved me tonight.
00:32:45Oh, come on, pal.
00:32:46She wasn't so bad.
00:32:47Yes, she was bad.
00:32:49She reminds me of Catherine the Great.
00:32:53Fred, I got a hot tip for you.
00:32:54What?
00:32:55Uh, coffee.
00:32:58Coffee?
00:32:59Mm-hmm.
00:33:00Mm-hmm.
00:33:00Mm-hmm.
00:33:01Trust me.
00:33:04What's he buying now?
00:33:07Coffee.
00:33:08Coffee.
00:33:10Coffee hasn't done shit in three years.
00:33:19How did he know about coffee?
00:33:21The White Zone is for Fred P. Cheney only.
00:33:25I don't want to find out where he gets this information.
00:33:28Could he possibly find out for himself?
00:33:30Maybe you're underestimating him.
00:33:34You're a clever girl, Allison.
00:33:37Why don't you find out?
00:33:43You mean, Allison said she wanted to go out with you?
00:33:46Yeah.
00:33:46Can you blame her?
00:33:47Hmm.
00:33:48Who's picking up the check?
00:33:50Would you please get over there?
00:33:52She's gonna come up here any minute.
00:33:54Look at my teeth.
00:33:56Huh.
00:33:56I hate my teeth.
00:33:58They're kind of bucked, aren't they?
00:34:00Huh.
00:34:01Huh.
00:34:01Your teeth look fine.
00:34:02You should use a water pick now.
00:34:03Hey, Fred.
00:34:04Look.
00:34:08Yeah.
00:34:09I'm Elvis.
00:34:10Elvis?
00:34:11Get over there, will you?
00:34:12Hmm.
00:34:13You know something, Fred?
00:34:14I don't really understand why you had to ask her to come up here anyway.
00:34:18I wanted to see the place.
00:34:19Oh, yeah, right.
00:34:20I forgot.
00:34:21That's why you got this place.
00:34:22For her benefit.
00:34:23What do you mean, for her benefit?
00:34:24Well, that's why you're living here, isn't it?
00:34:26To impress people like her?
00:34:28I like living here.
00:34:30Oh, you make me sick the way you're laying it on for her.
00:34:33You shouldn't have to act like George Hamilton III.
00:34:35People should like you just the way you are.
00:34:37Thank you, Elvis.
00:34:38And another thing.
00:34:40What's the deal with the pony?
00:34:42It's creepy.
00:34:43It's like you're doing an impression of me.
00:34:45And while we're at it, how about picking up your dirty underwear?
00:34:48And the toilet seat.
00:34:49Why can't you remember just once to put it down when you're finished?
00:34:53You know, there are two of us living here now.
00:34:59Hi, Fred.
00:35:00Hi.
00:35:04Uh, do you mind if I come in?
00:35:06Yeah.
00:35:06I mean, no.
00:35:08Please, come in.
00:35:09Yeah.
00:35:09I mean, no.
00:35:10Oh, please, come in.
00:35:15That's an atrium.
00:35:17Pretty, huh?
00:35:19Kind of like one of the selling points to the place for me.
00:35:23It's great.
00:35:24So you like it?
00:35:26Uh-oh.
00:35:28Yeah, it's great.
00:35:30It's just...
00:35:30You don't think it's too much, do you?
00:35:32Oh, you know, I would love to see the kitchen.
00:35:35Um, you know, geez, look what time it is.
00:35:37It's getting kind of late.
00:35:38Perhaps we should head down to the restaurant.
00:35:40Ah-choo!
00:35:44Uh-oh.
00:35:46Woof, woof, woof.
00:35:48Do you have a dog?
00:35:49Yeah, yeah.
00:35:51Um, actually, I gotta go potter my nose.
00:35:54I'll be right back, okay?
00:35:55Please?
00:35:57I'll be out in a moment.
00:35:58Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
00:35:59What are you doing?
00:36:00What?
00:36:02Fred?
00:36:03Sorry, Fred.
00:36:04Is she not blowing the dog bit?
00:36:05Woof, woof.
00:36:07Whoops.
00:36:08Fred?
00:36:09Uh, I'll be out in a minute, please.
00:36:12Woof, woof, woof.
00:36:13There's a horse in here.
00:36:14Uh, where?
00:36:15Uh, ha-ha.
00:36:16You know, if it's not cockroaches, it's Palomino.
00:36:19Fred, you're living with a horse.
00:36:21No kidding.
00:36:22Oh, Mike, who doesn't?
00:36:23Woof, woof, woof, woof.
00:36:26I'm sure he makes a great pet, but why don't you keep him in his table?
00:36:31Oh, um, I like camping him around.
00:36:34He's kind of like my good luck charm.
00:36:42Fred, everybody at work is trying to figure out where you're getting these big stock tips from.
00:36:49Done.
00:36:51Don.
00:36:54The horse?
00:36:56Yeah, he's, um, he's a genius.
00:37:01My, my La Guinness is very, very good.
00:37:06It's linguine.
00:37:07That's linguine?
00:37:09Linguine.
00:37:10Just a lot like spaghetti.
00:37:13Touch house.
00:37:14You know, horse talks, just like you and me.
00:37:16I believe you.
00:37:17I mean, I used to have an invisible friend.
00:37:19No, I'm serious.
00:37:20You'll see.
00:37:21He's got, like, a great sense of humor.
00:37:23Talk, goddammit.
00:37:24Please, don't say something.
00:37:26Honestly, he really does talk.
00:37:28Normally, I can't even shut him up.
00:37:30Come on.
00:37:30Hi, Allison.
00:37:33It's a pleasure to meet you.
00:37:35Fred is always talking about you.
00:37:39Thanks for dinner, Fred.
00:37:41We had a good time.
00:37:43Patch house.
00:37:47It was kind of strange, but I had a good time.
00:37:51Think we could do it again sometime?
00:37:55Did you hear that?
00:38:01Gee.
00:38:03How was your date, Romeo?
00:38:06Get any?
00:38:07It was just fine.
00:38:08Do you mind, Fred?
00:38:09Fred, this is my favorite movie, and I don't recall you being in it.
00:38:13I can't believe I told her that you talked.
00:38:15She probably thinks I'm insane now.
00:38:17Well, I don't like her.
00:38:18She's a phony, and she's got the worst nose job I've ever seen.
00:38:21That's her original note.
00:38:23How would you know?
00:38:24You should see yourself with her.
00:38:26You're pathetic.
00:38:28Do you know who you are?
00:38:29What?
00:38:30You're jealous.
00:38:31What?
00:38:32Huh.
00:38:32Don't make me laugh.
00:38:34You're jealous.
00:38:34Kiss my butt.
00:38:36I've never been jealous of anyone in my life.
00:38:38Oh, come on, Fred.
00:38:39Let's not fight.
00:38:40Let's drive to the country.
00:38:41This town is driving us crazy.
00:38:43Night, Dad.
00:38:44I want his knee-tack, not lychee.
00:38:47Nietzsche.
00:38:48I'll know your stomach and...
00:38:49Order what Mom's cooking for dinner.
00:38:52Hey, that's Pop.
00:38:53Something's wrong, Fred.
00:38:54I'll be right back.
00:38:54You're sloshing in your upset stomach and...
00:38:56God, it's about time you got here.
00:38:59I'm dying, son.
00:39:01You don't talk like that, Pop.
00:39:03A horse knows when his time is near.
00:39:09There are signs.
00:39:12Your tongue darkens.
00:39:14Your eyes water.
00:39:16Your mind goes.
00:39:19Your tongue darkens.
00:39:22Your balls shrink.
00:39:25You...
00:39:26Easy, Pop.
00:39:27Easy.
00:39:36You know, I had an uncle named Lou.
00:39:38Slightly.
00:39:41Son, before I die...
00:39:44You gotta promise me that you'll pass on your special gift of speech to an heir.
00:39:54Why me, Pop?
00:39:56What about Lou?
00:39:57Yesterday, your mother caught Lou trying to mount a Volvo station wagon.
00:40:05You're our only home.
00:40:08Pop, you don't understand.
00:40:10I'm a loner.
00:40:11I'm a rebel.
00:40:13You're a bum.
00:40:16Don, you're the last and the chosen.
00:40:19We need an heir.
00:40:21Son, quit screwing around.
00:40:24Son, it's time you met the right girl.
00:40:27Settle down, become a father.
00:40:29Oh, promise me, boy.
00:40:33Okay, Pop.
00:40:34Okay.
00:40:34I promise.
00:40:36I promise.
00:40:38I promise.
00:40:40I promise.
00:40:55Well, there he is, boys.
00:40:57Top money-winning four-year-old on the West Coast.
00:41:00Next month, I enter him in the El Segundo stakes.
00:41:03He'll beat the crap out of any plug they can put up against him.
00:41:06Oof.
00:41:07Is this place ripe or what?
00:41:10Hey, there's your partner's newest thoroughbred.
00:41:13Yeah.
00:41:14Wait here.
00:41:15I gotta go pay for your feed.
00:41:17Check.
00:41:18Must have cost a lot.
00:41:20Well, he did indeed.
00:41:22But he'll make it back many times over.
00:41:25First with his legs, of course, and then with his...
00:41:28Walter!
00:41:33Walter!
00:41:38She's wonderful.
00:41:39I love her.
00:41:40Are you happy, honey?
00:41:41Yes.
00:41:41Then I'm happy.
00:41:43That's my satin doll.
00:41:45She's going to be escorting the Lord of the States.
00:41:48Yeah, satin doll's little dressage horse I bought for Victoria.
00:41:51Yeah.
00:41:53Hmm.
00:41:55Hmm.
00:41:57Va, va, va.
00:41:59Boom!
00:42:00Whoa!
00:42:01Be still, my beating heart.
00:42:05Shut up.
00:42:06What a perfect form.
00:42:09Ooh, what legs.
00:42:12What a tail.
00:42:15Ooh, what a saddle.
00:42:17Check out the mane on that tomato.
00:42:21Whoo!
00:42:25Yeah!
00:42:26Nung, nung, nung, nung, nung, nung.
00:42:28Baby!
00:42:33All right, now, take it nice and easy.
00:42:35Just be cool.
00:42:37Whatever you do, don't shower your teeth.
00:42:43I hope you don't think I'm coming on too strong for you.
00:42:46But, uh, what can I say?
00:42:48Hey, that's the kind of guy I am.
00:42:51Ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:42:52Am I sure?
00:42:52So, come on, man.
00:42:54Mm-hmm.
00:42:57What do you say we put the feedback on and show it out?
00:43:00Walter, what's that horse doing with my satin doll?
00:43:04Ready?
00:43:05Get that piece of shit away from my horse, for God's sake.
00:43:08Yes, I...
00:43:08Sorry.
00:43:09Come on, let's get out of here.
00:43:13Maybe I'll see you later, huh?
00:43:15She was staring right at my teeth.
00:43:18Hello.
00:43:18Is this the samurai florist shop?
00:43:23Good.
00:43:24I'd like to order some flowers for a Miss Satin doll at the Claremont Ridge Riding Club.
00:43:28A lovely arrangement.
00:43:30You wouldn't happen to have a little barley, would you?
00:43:34How about some clover?
00:43:36Petunia.
00:43:37Huh?
00:43:37Petunias?
00:43:38Well, gee, I don't know.
00:43:39I never tried any.
00:43:40Roses.
00:43:41No.
00:43:41Roses are out of the question.
00:43:43They'll get stuck in her teeth.
00:43:44What do you got?
00:43:45Hello?
00:43:46Hello?
00:43:48Oh, jeez.
00:43:52Fred, I've fallen in love.
00:43:54What am I gonna do?
00:43:55Be yourself.
00:43:57If it's supposed to be, it'll be.
00:43:59Nice, Fred.
00:44:00Did you read that on a bumper sticker?
00:44:01Hey, where are you going?
00:44:03Work.
00:44:04Aw, don't go.
00:44:05Come on.
00:44:05Call in sick.
00:44:06I really don't want to be alone today.
00:44:08I know.
00:44:09We can play charades.
00:44:11Sorry, Donna.
00:44:12I've got to go to work.
00:44:15Nuts.
00:44:16I was doing fine until she saw my teeth.
00:44:20Delivery for a Mr. Don.
00:44:23Delivery for Mr. Don.
00:44:25Who?
00:44:26Mr. Don.
00:44:27No, Don here.
00:44:27It says, Mr. Don, at this address, and this is as far as I go, ma'am.
00:44:33Okay.
00:44:39Gracias.
00:45:02Mr. Cheney, que van a seat.
00:45:04I pierdo este trabajo.
00:45:08Is anybody out there?
00:45:10I'm going to jump.
00:45:16Fred, is that you?
00:45:17Thank God you're home.
00:45:22Just a second.
00:45:24Just a second.
00:45:25Hold on to your horses.
00:45:42Hello, um.
00:45:43Hello, um.
00:45:44Hello, um.
00:45:56Um, Denise? Yeah. Uh-huh.
00:45:59What does the index finish on?
00:46:04Ha-ha! The guy in the middle looks like Willie Nelson.
00:46:07Oh, that's hysterical.
00:46:10What?
00:46:11Oh, for crying out loud.
00:46:15Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. You guys can't come in here.
00:46:18What do you think this is, Noah's Ark?
00:46:23Hmm? What?
00:46:24No. No ducks. That is in the lease.
00:46:30No, no, no!
00:46:33Oh, that's okay.
00:46:35But remember, this isn't officially, technically, entirely my apartment.
00:46:38I share it with a human.
00:46:41Yeah!
00:46:48Come on, I told you. There's no bugs in there.
00:46:51Gee!
00:46:54Hey!
00:46:55Oh, man.
00:46:57You missed two classes and no homework.
00:46:59Oh, yeah, you're probably...
00:47:05But she still said no!
00:47:10You missed two classes and no homework.
00:47:19I don't think Fred's going to like this very much.
00:47:24You gotta fight!
00:47:25Oh, he's out for your life!
00:47:31Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:47:33Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
00:47:33Yeah!
00:47:35You passed clear smoking, man.
00:47:38He said no way!
00:47:40Huh!
00:47:43Huh?
00:47:43Hypocrite smokes two packs a day
00:47:49Man, living at home is such a trend
00:47:56Now you're going to throw away your best one to make
00:48:02Fred, what are you doing here?
00:48:07Fred, let me explain. This is an unbelievable coincidence.
00:48:09You see, they were looking for another horse named Don.
00:48:11Imagine two horses in the building...
00:48:13You've got to fight for your right to party.
00:48:43I can't believe you, Don. Look at this place. Get out of here.
00:48:48Oh, jeez, Fred. How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
00:48:55Information? Uh-huh.
00:48:57Yes. I'll let the number for the Los Angeles Animal Pound, please.
00:49:00Mm-hmm. Mm. I have never tasted anything like this.
00:49:04Look at you. How could you eat at a time like this?
00:49:07I'm calling the pound for you.
00:49:08Mm. I can't help it. Mm.
00:49:11Mm. These oats are incredible. Mm.
00:49:15Mm. Must be something new on the market, huh?
00:49:18Where'd you get them?
00:49:18I'll pick them up on the way home.
00:49:20I tell you, if I had any money, this is what I'd invest in.
00:49:24I mean, every animal in America's gonna go crazy over this stuff.
00:49:28This is better than Chinese food, and you know how much I love Chinese food.
00:49:32Mm. This won't leave you hungry in half an hour, either.
00:49:35I'm sorry. I have the wrong number.
00:49:37Fred, you want to join me?
00:49:38Come on. Grab a bowl and dig in before it's all gone.
00:49:42Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.
00:49:46I'm telling you, India oats. You're not gonna regret it.
00:49:49Oh, yeah. Arnie, yeah.
00:49:51India oats. A little tiny company out of Bakersfield. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
00:49:55Uh-huh. It's gonna be bigger than, um, cheese. Yeah.
00:49:58Hey. Uh-uh. You want to go to lunch?
00:50:01Um, can't, babe. I got a big deal cooking right now on the burner.
00:50:05Uh-huh. No, forget GE.
00:50:07GE? It's a fab. Yeah.
00:50:09I want India oats. Uh-huh. Five India oats.
00:50:13India oats. Five. Hot.
00:50:15Whoo! Ow!
00:50:18What is it, Osborne?
00:50:20They're selling everything and buying into something called India oats.
00:50:24What the hell is that?
00:50:24If you need me, I'm gonna be in the little broker's home.
00:50:29Hello, Mr. Cheney's office.
00:50:31Mm. Here it is.
00:50:34Seven and a half.
00:50:36Eight. Eight and a half.
00:50:38Holy shit.
00:50:40Maybe we should buy some of this crap.
00:50:42Can't do it.
00:50:43Fred's cornered the market on it.
00:50:45Let me check with my contacts and see if we can get it someplace else.
00:50:52Yeah, hello?
00:50:54Frank, Boyd Osborne here.
00:50:57Hey, Boyd-o-babe.
00:50:59There's a new company on the exchange called Indio Oats.
00:51:04Oh, hey, you're not buying it, are you?
00:51:06Why's that?
00:51:07I just got inside information that the FDA is gonna freeze all sales and launch a full investigation.
00:51:14You're kidding.
00:51:15Yeah, animals are dropping like bricks from one coast to the other after eating the stuff.
00:51:21What a shame.
00:51:22Yeah, avoid that shit like the plague.
00:51:26Thanks, Frank.
00:51:28Oh, you won.
00:51:28Sigma Chi, Sigma Chi, hubba, hubba, hubba.
00:51:44Indio Oats, indeed.
00:51:45Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:51:49Just, Mr. Sarton.
00:51:51Um, ladies and gentlemen of Wall Street, it has both been honor and a privilege to receive the award of
00:51:56Stockbroker of the Year.
00:51:59I'd like to thank each one of you at this moment, but I don't have enough time, so thank you.
00:52:04Yeah, yeah, ow!
00:52:06I can't just follow me.
00:52:08This is locked.
00:52:09I'll never get out in time.
00:52:11Oh, that's, um, that's occupied, Pomeroy.
00:52:13Why don't you just use this one?
00:52:18Uh, this one, sir?
00:52:19Oh, wop, bop, loop, bop, lamb, bamboo.
00:52:22Mr. Cheney, you have an emergency call in 21.
00:52:27Mr. Cheney, you have an emergency call in 21.
00:52:32Hello?
00:52:34Oats, contaminated.
00:52:35Took time to hit me.
00:52:37Oh.
00:52:37What are you talking about?
00:52:39Those India oats, uh-oh, they're poison.
00:52:42Uh-oh.
00:52:44If I hadn't taken six pounds of Maalox, I'd be pushing up Petunias and Poughkeepsis permanently.
00:52:50That means India oats?
00:52:51They weren't squat, and this horrible face on the wall isn't helping matters either.
00:52:56Huh?
00:52:57The driver you dialed is not working in this area code.
00:52:59Duh!
00:53:00Please test for the correct area code.
00:53:01Duh!
00:53:02Hello?
00:53:07Hello?
00:53:08Let me out of here!
00:53:10Let me out!
00:53:11Let me out!
00:53:39Oh, my God.
00:53:43Oh, my father, Martin Evans, hallowed be my name.
00:53:49Live by the sword, die by the sword.
00:53:53Let's give him a moment.
00:53:55Oh, say, half an hour?
00:53:57That should be the end of Indio Oates.
00:54:01Can I show you the mergers and figures?
00:54:05Sure.
00:54:08No!
00:54:08No!
00:54:10No!
00:54:22No!
00:54:26No!
00:54:27No!
00:54:28No!
00:54:29No!
00:54:30No!
00:54:32No!
00:54:35No!
00:54:40No!
00:54:42No!
00:54:44No!
00:54:45No!
00:54:46No!
00:54:52What?
00:55:01No!
00:55:07Get away from me, you diseased wind, rat, bird!
00:55:11Stop it!
00:55:27Look at Freddy's oats.
00:55:32How low can you go, Indy-a-low?
00:55:45Hi, Mr. Cheney. What are you doing out there?
00:55:48Open the window!
00:55:51You come back in here. Really, you could hurt yourself out there.
00:55:54I brought you tuna fish sandwich.
00:55:57Sandwiches?
00:55:57Fry!
00:55:59Which do you want? Fry or ho-wee?
00:56:03Open the goddamn window!
00:56:05What?
00:56:06Open the window!
00:56:08Fry or ho-wee?
00:56:09Fry! Fry!
00:56:11Open up the window!
00:56:13Really, Mr. Cheney?
00:56:14Open the window!
00:56:16Oh!
00:56:26Freddy?
00:56:30Problem?
00:56:31A little financial trouble?
00:56:33Maybe we should talk... soon.
00:56:52Come on, Fred. You haven't lost everything.
00:56:56Hey, you still got me.
00:56:58You just stay on your side of the road!
00:57:00We could hit the road together!
00:57:02Like those guys, the, uh...
00:57:05Swanky brothers.
00:57:06I need some time alone. Do you understand?
00:57:10Sure! Sure! No problem!
00:57:13Fred?
00:57:14Well, what do you think you'll need?
00:57:15A couple minutes?
00:57:32Good luck, Fred! You'll always be my best friend!
00:57:36Well, maybe not my absolute very best friend, but certainly in the top five!
00:57:40Top ten!
00:57:41The lowest you'll get is ten!
00:57:43My tenth best friend!
00:57:44Fifteen would be the floor!
00:57:46Big promotion.
00:57:49New office.
00:57:50Expense account.
00:57:51Perks.
00:57:53Yeah, yeah.
00:57:54I found out the little geek was sinking all his money into this rinky-dink outfit that was about to
00:57:59go under.
00:58:02So me and Sawyer, we didn't tell him about it.
00:58:05We locked him in the bathroom while a stock was crashing.
00:58:10Yeah, well, that's business.
00:58:13You little bastard.
00:58:17Allison!
00:58:18Oh, Allison, what do you care?
00:58:21Well, here's to Freddy. Good riddance.
00:58:24Good riddance!
00:58:25You son of a bitch, you set him up.
00:58:28Set who up?
00:58:29You and this ass-kissing idiot over here.
00:58:31What's she talking about?
00:58:33I'm talking about Fred.
00:58:36I'm talking about the way you two sold him down the river.
00:58:38Oh, business is a tough world, Allison.
00:58:41Right, right.
00:58:44You don't know how tough yet.
00:58:48I quit.
00:58:48What?
00:58:54Bad day at the office, dear?
00:58:57Pets.
00:59:11I can't believe I'm talking to a horse.
00:59:14Yeah?
00:59:15There's nobody else here.
00:59:16I feel terrible about Fred.
00:59:18Well, you should.
00:59:21Well, I'm sorry.
00:59:23Okay?
00:59:24Listen up, Curly.
00:59:25Fred happens to be a very nice guy and he likes you a lot.
00:59:28Well, what are we gonna do?
00:59:29Well, the first thing we're gonna do is sit Fred down and help him restore his self-confidence.
00:59:33Yeah, but how?
00:59:34He didn't have much to begin with.
00:59:35Let's say, hypothetically, we enter a horse in the El Segundo Stakes.
00:59:39And let's, for argument's sake, say that horse wins.
00:59:41Then Fred will get a shitload of money and Sawyer, with his stupid horse, will not get a shitload of
00:59:46money.
00:59:46You see?
00:59:46Fred would get the shitload.
00:59:49Well, that's a great idea, Don.
00:59:52But, uh, where are we supposed to find a thoroughbred racehorse?
00:59:55Here's the beauty of my plan.
00:59:57You are looking at him.
01:00:02Something funny?
01:00:03Sorry.
01:00:04If I can somehow pull this off, you guys get rich beyond your wildest dreams.
01:00:08I get satin doll way beyond my wildest dreams.
01:00:10You get a piece, I get a piece, all God's children got a piece.
01:00:13Whoa!
01:00:14Happy ending!
01:00:15Don, I know you've got four legs and everything, but...
01:00:18Hey, hey, I'll worry about the winning, you worry about the driving, all right?
01:00:21And would you turn off this East Indian music?
01:00:24Don!
01:00:25You can't win a race!
01:00:27Why not?
01:00:27Give me one reason.
01:00:29Well, look at you!
01:00:30Okay, okay, that's one reason.
01:00:32Give me another.
01:00:33Ah, forget it.
01:00:34Look, I'm not stupid, Fred.
01:00:35I know I can't actually outrun those other horses.
01:00:37Well, that's the way a horse race is normally one.
01:00:40No, no, no.
01:00:41Freddie, listen.
01:00:42Horses have hang-ups, just like people.
01:00:44Maybe I can psych them out.
01:00:46Some are sensitive about their mothers.
01:00:48Some have envy of, ahem, you know what?
01:00:51Others have no self-esteem, just like someone else we know.
01:00:55Yeah, not funny.
01:00:56It's very simple, Fred.
01:00:58We'll invade their psyches, analyze their subconscious,
01:01:01we'll use Freud and Jung,
01:01:04and we stick it to them where the moon don't shine.
01:01:09Do you want a hamburger?
01:01:11No.
01:01:11Do you want a people burger?
01:01:25Hey, you talk to, ah, Mickey about this?
01:01:27Uh, put it on the corner.
01:01:29Yes, come on.
01:01:30Marvin and I like it, if they know this,
01:01:32if they happen in the back of the head,
01:01:33they bleak it this weekend, okay?
01:01:35We're up and ней.
01:01:35Wait a minute.
01:01:38Hmm.
01:01:40Didn't I see that nag on the front end of a milk truck about last Thursday?
01:01:43Was it last Thursday or last Friday?
01:01:44No, it was Friday, yeah.
01:01:47Freddie!
01:01:48Heard a stupid rumor you're entering a horse in the stakes. Is that right?
01:01:52It's not a rumor.
01:01:54Just the plug?
01:01:55Yeah, it's the horse.
01:01:58You're kidding.
01:01:59You're kidding.
01:01:59What's his name?
01:02:01Don.
01:02:02Don. Just Don. Sounds like a plumber.
01:02:05He doesn't need any pretentious names.
01:02:07His breeding, it's in his legs.
01:02:10Well, to me, I don't correct me if I'm wrong, Marvin,
01:02:13but to me, I don't think you have a snowball chance in hell
01:02:16of finishing a race on that piece of shit.
01:02:18Lick my nose.
01:02:19It's not a piece of shit.
01:02:20And we're gonna win this race.
01:02:22Oh, really?
01:02:23Wanna make a little bet?
01:02:24You know I ain't got nothing to bet.
01:02:26Yeah, you bet this turd.
01:02:30I couldn't bet my turd, of course.
01:02:34Chicken shit, huh?
01:02:38Okay, I'll bet this horse against what?
01:02:40What do you have to bet?
01:02:41Well, let's see.
01:02:44Can you break a 20?
01:02:47I'll bet my horse against your horse.
01:02:50Hey, now that's ridiculous.
01:02:53Chicken shit?
01:02:56Who are you calling chicken shit?
01:02:59I'm calling you chicken shit.
01:03:01You're a chicken shit, chicken shit.
01:03:03Okay, Freddy.
01:03:04I'll make the bet.
01:03:05My horse against your horse.
01:03:07All my horses against your horse.
01:03:09Sweetheart, you can't do that.
01:03:10Sweetheart, what do you think I am?
01:03:12Chicken shit?
01:03:12That's a bet, Fred.
01:03:14Cleaning satin doll.
01:03:15Cleaning satin doll.
01:03:16No, not my satin doll, too.
01:03:18Darling, don't be a chicken shit.
01:03:19You're wrong, Freddy.
01:03:21Am I wrong?
01:03:22Is he getting more of a horse?
01:03:23Me and my big mouth.
01:03:25What a revolting development this has turned out to be.
01:03:28Ha-cha-cha-cha.
01:03:31Let me tell you something, mister.
01:03:33I've been riding horses all my life.
01:03:35I'm telling you right now, I am the man to ride this damn horse.
01:03:39Um, well, um, why do you say that, mister, um, uh, mister snake?
01:03:45One char of this.
01:03:46He can win Indianapolis 500.
01:03:53Mark?
01:03:56Mark.
01:03:57Mark!
01:04:01Great, Fred.
01:04:02He's perfect.
01:04:03Why don't you just let me do the rest of the interviews, all right?
01:04:06So, Mike, what makes you feel that you're the man to ride me?
01:04:11I mean, to ride Don.
01:04:13Ha-ha-ha.
01:04:16Cause I know how to handle these animals.
01:04:20Well, what do you mean, Mike?
01:04:24Well...
01:04:25You gotta be...
01:04:29Duffer.
01:04:33You gotta let him know who...
01:04:36Jesus.
01:04:37Boss.
01:04:38You see people in horses.
01:04:41Wonderful animals.
01:04:43Didn't they tell you?
01:04:45You're the dumbest shits.
01:04:47You got every photo on the face of this earth.
01:04:50Hey, watch what you're saying, butthead.
01:04:56What did you call me?
01:04:58Nothing!
01:04:59I called you a butthead.
01:05:01Butthead.
01:05:02And what are you gonna do about it?
01:05:04Butthead!
01:05:06Come on, you little wimp.
01:05:08Take a swing.
01:05:09I dare you.
01:05:10Ah!
01:05:14You know what, Don?
01:05:16You got a really big mouth.
01:05:18What are you trying to do?
01:05:18Get me killed?
01:05:19Who's next, Fred?
01:05:21That's it.
01:05:22No one's next.
01:05:23That was the last available jockey.
01:05:25What?
01:05:26Um...
01:05:26Well, what do you mean?
01:05:27What are we gonna do now?
01:05:28I'll figure something.
01:05:31Oh, no.
01:05:32What am I gonna do?
01:05:34I'll never be able to win this thing.
01:05:37God help me.
01:05:51Quit sniveling.
01:05:52Everything will be fine.
01:05:54Well, that's easy for...
01:05:55Is that you, Lord?
01:05:57Oh, you stupid son of a bitch.
01:05:59It's me.
01:05:59Dad?
01:06:00Is that you?
01:06:01Of course it's me.
01:06:03So much for the glamour of reincarnation.
01:06:05Dad, you're a horsefly.
01:06:08Ooh, I'm a horsefly.
01:06:10Ooh, I didn't notice.
01:06:12That would explain those crappy little wings.
01:06:15Why I've been buzzing around piles of manure all day.
01:06:18And leaving little fly shit droppings wherever I go.
01:06:22Thank you for solving that mystery, Sherlock.
01:06:25Pop, am I glad to see you.
01:06:27I got a real problem.
01:06:28I don't stand a chance of beating those other horses.
01:06:30Why not?
01:06:31They're all professional athletes, Pop.
01:06:33I've always been more of a couch potato, you know.
01:06:36You can do it.
01:06:38You're a horse, just like they are.
01:06:40They have hooves.
01:06:41You have hooves.
01:06:42Oh, yeah, but...
01:06:43They have legs.
01:06:43You have legs.
01:06:44Oh, sure, but their legs work.
01:06:47Son, you have something they don't have.
01:06:50A big mouth.
01:06:51You can win this race.
01:06:53Do you really think so?
01:06:55Gee.
01:06:55Absolutely.
01:06:57You're right, Pop.
01:06:58You're absolutely right.
01:06:59I can win this race.
01:07:00Damn right.
01:07:01Now, who's gonna run this race?
01:07:03I am.
01:07:04And who's gonna win it?
01:07:05I am.
01:07:07That's the spirit.
01:07:08No offense, Pop, but what's it like being a horse fly?
01:07:13It sucks.
01:07:26We're just a short time away from the start of the 75th running of the El Segundo State.
01:07:31This is Lord Kensington.
01:07:32He's the four-year-old champion, and he's a heavy favorite to win today's race.
01:07:37Over here in the next stall, we have the long shot number eight.
01:07:40This is Don...
01:07:43Don?
01:07:44Bill, is that right?
01:07:46Just Don?
01:07:48Give me a break.
01:07:51Forget about him, okay?
01:07:52Yeah, right.
01:07:54All right.
01:07:55It's normal to be nervous.
01:07:56Who's nervous?
01:07:57Breathe deeply.
01:07:59Breathe?
01:07:59To the nose.
01:08:02To the nose.
01:08:03To the nose.
01:08:04To the nose.
01:08:05To the nose.
01:08:06Hey, I ate so much in a glass, but I wonder how goddamn heavy I am today.
01:08:11Oh!
01:08:12Oh, I think that's what I know.
01:08:15Ugh!
01:08:17This guy will be cheating.
01:08:21Chuck, you better use that whole can.
01:08:24Ugh!
01:08:29What's this little kind of joke?
01:08:33Ugh!
01:08:40Ugh!
01:08:50Riders up!
01:08:51Yeah!
01:08:53Oh!
01:08:53Oh!
01:08:55Okay.
01:08:56Now remember, when you break through the gate, just try and stick to the rail, okay?
01:09:00Okay, huh?
01:09:01Get to the rail.
01:09:02You gonna ride that thing yourself?
01:09:04Yeah, that's just right.
01:09:05That figures.
01:09:06Oh, this ought to be good.
01:09:08Well, yeah, little boy.
01:09:10Now, this time tomorrow, you ought to be dog meat.
01:09:14You look good, Fred.
01:09:17Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute!
01:09:21This horse and me, we're going out there, and we're gonna beat the odds.
01:09:27Cause I'm gonna get you back for everything you ever did to me and to my family.
01:09:34Let me tell you something about the little guy.
01:09:36You can only push him around and push him around until you end up backing him in the corner.
01:09:40And like, and like, and like the mighty Wolverine who, who will gnaw his own leg up.
01:09:46Well, if caught in a trap, I'm gonna start gnawing my leg up.
01:09:52My name is no longer Fred P.
01:09:56What is my name?
01:09:59My name is Fred P. Wolverine Chaney.
01:10:03Because justice is finally gonna be done.
01:10:06The little guy is finally gonna whip your ass.
01:10:14Hey, Jock, the track's the other way.
01:10:19I got it.
01:10:31Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
01:10:33This is your track announcer, Timmy Cohale.
01:10:36He runs this race, that's indicating for millions.
01:10:38The 75th running of the El Segundo State.
01:10:43Number one is Heavy Rain, from the Long Meadow Farms, and written by Ernestine Esposito.
01:10:50Number two is Curiously, written by Dennis Riding.
01:10:54Let him take an early lead before you make your move.
01:10:57Don't let him get too far ahead.
01:10:58Early lead?
01:11:00Ha!
01:11:00Make my move.
01:11:01What, are you kidding me?
01:11:02We'll be lucky if we don't get lost.
01:11:04Good luck, you guys.
01:11:05Thanks!
01:11:06Number eight is Lord Kensington, from the Sawyer Stable.
01:11:09There he is!
01:11:11God, he's beautiful.
01:11:13Number seven is Donny Jesus.
01:11:15By Shelly Boyle.
01:11:18Number eight, out of Pepperidge Farm, and written by Fred P. Chaney, is Don.
01:11:26Don!
01:11:28Don!
01:11:28Don!
01:11:30Don!
01:11:30The horses are at the goal.
01:11:33There you go, woo!
01:11:37Oh boy!
01:11:39Oh boy!
01:11:39Oh boy!
01:11:40The number six horse, Lord Kensington, is delaying the start.
01:11:50come on where's your big plan i'm thinking i'm thinking just get out my back will you
01:11:54you know what i mean hey number seven number seven over here look into my eyes you look very
01:12:04tired to me very sleepy close your eyes and the sound of the bell you'll turn into a
01:12:11mushroom a deep sleeping mushroom you are drifting into a deep deep sleep sorry excuse me sorry the
01:12:22horses are in the gate here we go the flag is up there they go
01:12:38heavy rains breaks on top followed by curiously never too early at lord kessington and trailing by
01:12:47hey look i'm running
01:12:56how we doing what are you blind we're losing come on i got an idea how about we trade places
01:13:04and i write
01:13:04you for a while hey pablo's pride wait up pablo's pride i think you should know the immigration
01:13:11people are here they're waiting at the finish line they're checking green cards
01:13:18yeah imigracia imigracia greener carter
01:13:23greener carter
01:13:35i'm warning you friend stop kicking me
01:13:41hey fellas wait up wait up will you move over oh boy what a beautiful day for a race huh
01:13:51whoo i'm telling you you guys are doing terrific out here hey did you hear the news did you act
01:13:57me
01:13:57mucilage people are out in the stands yeah they're buying up all the winners
01:14:05mucilage you know glue
01:14:13hey this is easier than i thought yeah well don't get cocky hey linda quit flapping your wings or we're
01:14:19gonna take off
01:14:26around the clubhouse turn lord kensington is coming up fast on the inside he's making his move curiously on heavy
01:14:33reins
01:14:34he's taking the lead and narrowing the gap is
01:14:38i think i just ate some poop
01:14:41whipped his ass mickey
01:14:43i think i can i think i can i think i can i think i thought i could i thought
01:14:49i could i thought i could
01:14:50hey friend i haven't run a mile since high school
01:14:55i'm dying here
01:14:56yeah me too
01:14:59hey lord ass get that piece of shit out of my way
01:15:02what did you say
01:15:03you heard me get that piece of shit out of my way
01:15:06that's not very polite that's not even being a good sport
01:15:09when you said something like that i just want to like
01:15:11rip your goddamn arm off and feed that stupid horse
01:15:15now get out of my way
01:15:18i'm telling him friend
01:15:20and now curiously is veering to the outside
01:15:23he's pulling up
01:15:26hey hey heavy reins
01:15:27wait up
01:15:28here's a good one for you
01:15:30what do you get
01:15:31when you got twelve
01:15:33twelve donkeys on your front lawn
01:15:35fertilizer
01:15:39the reins is pulling up
01:15:41but wait a minute
01:15:42here comes pablo's pride
01:15:44headed the wrong direction
01:15:46come you pigmy son of a bitch
01:15:48he's gonna do it
01:15:49of course he's gonna do it
01:15:51he's a goddamn champion
01:15:52fred
01:15:53i
01:15:54i can't make
01:15:55talk to me like that old guy in rocky
01:15:58do it for the american way of life
01:16:00as we know it today
01:16:01come on fred you can do better than that
01:16:05um
01:16:05okay do this for your mom and dad
01:16:08yeah
01:16:09right
01:16:10for my mom and dad
01:16:11turn it for home
01:16:15it's lord kensington
01:16:16but moving fast and making up ground rapidly is don
01:16:21what the hell is this
01:16:24into the home stretch
01:16:25it's lord kensington
01:16:26but here comes don
01:16:29do it for hot dogs
01:16:31do it for mary tyler moore
01:16:33the sentimental stuff
01:16:34just ain't working for me
01:16:36do it for satin doll
01:16:37yeah
01:16:38yeah right
01:16:39keep talking
01:16:40do it for vanity
01:16:41you win this thing
01:16:43and i'm gonna have your teeth cap
01:16:44cosmetically bonded
01:16:45like a tv anchor person
01:16:47yeah
01:16:48the whole nine yards
01:16:50now come on
01:16:50go
01:16:52yee-haw
01:16:53oh
01:16:54oh
01:16:55oh
01:16:55oh
01:16:55oh
01:16:56oh
01:16:56oh
01:16:56oh
01:17:03come on baby
01:17:05go
01:17:05hey kensington
01:17:06what do you get when you're 10
01:17:08no 20 donkeys on your front lawn
01:17:13get it get it get it
01:17:15i'm on it
01:17:15i'm on it
01:17:16i'm on it
01:17:17what do you think you're going with that refugee from a glue pack
01:17:21exactly
01:17:21get that flatulating piece of roadkill out of my way
01:17:24hey kensington
01:17:26you can't win this race
01:17:28and you know why
01:17:29come on
01:17:30do you know why
01:17:35yeah
01:17:36you stupid animal
01:17:38do you know why
01:17:40come on
01:17:41i'll tell you why
01:17:43because
01:17:44because
01:17:46because
01:17:47because
01:17:47uh
01:17:48kill us
01:17:49kill us
01:17:50because of the wonderful things i've done
01:17:58why mother i'm sure
01:18:01ladies and gentlemen may i have your attention
01:18:04please hold on tickets we have a photo finish
01:18:07let's get to the winner circle
01:18:09we don't know if we won you
01:18:10we won let's go
01:18:11this is great
01:18:15what's this
01:18:21those are the horse's front teeth
01:18:24give me that
01:18:47i bet a hundred bucks on don
01:18:53i just won 20 grams
01:18:55congratulations osborne you're fired
01:18:58smile
01:19:01smile
01:19:01smile
01:19:05a couple more friends
01:19:07ready
01:19:08ready boys
01:19:10fred son
01:19:12you did it
01:19:14congratulations
01:19:15you're not going to hold me to that silly bet now are you pal
01:19:18partner
01:19:20son
01:19:22i think i am
01:19:23dad
01:19:24happy trails walter
01:19:27ah what awful breath
01:19:34must be the second worst smelling breath i've ever had in this office
01:19:40ah that's good good
01:19:42i have like hot saliva all over my hands
01:19:45just keep the tongue still for a second
01:19:53why do you think of this mr horse
01:19:56oh yeah
01:19:57yeah hey thanks doc
01:19:59now i'm perfect
01:20:02yeah okay
01:20:03no problem at all
01:20:04if there's any irritation or anything
01:20:06just rinse with salt water and put a compress on it
01:20:09i don't think
01:20:12that's all folks
01:20:41laughing
Comments