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Hacks (2021) Season 5 Episode 9
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00:05Every day I wake up, wake your ass up, The Breakfast Club.
00:09You all finished or y'all done?
00:10Morning, everybody.
00:11It's DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, Charlemagne the God.
00:15We are The Breakfast Club.
00:16And we got a special guest in the building, Debra Vance.
00:19Hey, what's up, y'all?
00:20And please call me Debra the God.
00:24OK, so Debra, talk to us.
00:25You had this crazy non-compete for a hell of them?
00:2718 months.
00:28A year and a half, I wasn't legally allowed to perform or speak publicly.
00:31And the one time I did, I went to jail.
00:33Damn.
00:33But that expired at midnight, and I knew that the first place I wanted to break my silence
00:37was here at The Breakfast Club with my good friend, Charlemagne.
00:40Yes, indeed.
00:41Wow, people don't know y'all go way back.
00:43Yes, we do.
00:43No, it's true.
00:44We actually co-own a racehorse.
00:46Her name's Wheat Thin.
00:47Here, I'll show you.
00:47Yeah, she's a sweetheart.
00:48Terrific spirit.
00:49Beautiful, man.
00:49Yeah, she's work hard, play hard.
00:51A little Wheat Thin, OK.
00:52Yeah, that's where Jess get her hair from.
00:54Don't do me.
00:56But people don't want to hear about Wheat Thin.
00:57They want to hear about your sold-out show next Thursday at Madison Square Garden.
01:02How does that feel?
01:02That's like the pinnacle for a stand-up comic.
01:04Yeah, as you know, when I quit late night, I kind of took a hit publicly, and I wasn't
01:08sure I could sell it out.
01:09But you didn't just sell out.
01:10You sold out in like 10 minutes, right?
01:12Yes, I did.
01:13Damn.
01:14Those tickets move faster than Wheat Thin.
01:16So you got a week left into the show.
01:18What are you doing to prepare?
01:20It's kind of rigorous envy.
01:21I've got a trainer, a physical therapist, a choreographer, a vocal coach.
01:25We're just working nonstop to make sure this is the best 9-11 that New York has ever had.
01:30Huh?
01:30Well, we're so happy to see you, and I'm glad that you came to stop half-ass.
01:34My honor.
01:35I'm a long-time member of the Breakfast Club Nation.
01:37OK.
01:37Now, are you really listening for us or the music?
01:40Both.
01:41My friend Kiki's turned around all the grades.
01:44I've got that Mexican OT on heavy rotation.
01:46Big X the Plug, 9 Vicious, 1900 Rugrats.
01:51OK.
01:51Hey, can we go out on a little Glorilla?
01:53Not Big Glow.
01:54Yes, Big Glow.
01:55All right, let's play some Glow.
01:56Let's play Let It Cook.
01:57Yeah.
01:58Let it cook.
01:59Big Glow come to frying sheet.
02:01Let it cook.
02:02All these stops, I'm trying sheet.
02:04Let me cook.
02:20The hydraulic lift is bringing me up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
02:24I'm thinking this is way too far upstage.
02:25Can we move this down?
02:26Let's take three feet.
02:27Let's try that.
02:28Remark it.
02:29Not a captive if it's where I want to be.
02:33Oh, my God, my God, my God, my God, my God.
02:38Ha, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho, ho.
02:49Hello, Madison Square Garden.
02:51I'm back from the dead.
02:52And just like Jesus, I love having 12 gay guys over for supper.
02:56This lining has to change.
02:57I just were changing it.
02:58It needs to change like now because I have to rehearse in it.
03:00This is the stuff that's making me nervous.
03:02Thank you, New York.
03:03I'm still never a dance.
03:04Good night.
03:05I'm still never a dance.
03:05I'm still never a dance.
03:07I'm already free.
03:10Can't be a count of those who I want to be.
03:11And then at that point, I am Jesus on the cross.
03:13And here come my three wise men.
03:15And ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho,
03:20ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
03:30What's good, New York?
03:51What's good, New York?
03:53Nice shot.
03:55Come on.
03:56Come on.
03:56Get up there.
03:56Whew.
03:57That's the way it felt.
03:59Ah.
04:01Hey, good looking.
04:03You ready to rock the garden?
04:04Almost.
04:06I'm just having trouble sleeping.
04:08And I don't want to take Ambien this week because I need to stay sharp.
04:10Sure.
04:11I just really need my rest.
04:13And there's really only one other thing that helps me sleep deeply.
04:18Deborah Vance.
04:18Is this a booty call?
04:20Oh, don't be tacky.
04:22Just get on your private jet and get over here.
04:24Wheels up.
04:32So for a generation without economic stability and so few job prospects, the small things
04:39become the only things that we can control.
04:41And the biggest question becomes, who is making dinner?
04:50Well told.
04:51She is the best.
04:52Truth teller.
04:55Yeah.
04:56Well, listen.
04:57In any other situation, I would say, you know, give us a beat to discuss.
05:01But since we already have a deal with you, I'm just going to be real.
05:05I don't know why you need to tell this story.
05:10Yeah.
05:11I guess because I thought of the idea and brought it on down to you.
05:18Sure.
05:18Had to.
05:19Yeah.
05:19Sure.
05:19That's why.
05:20I just kind of feel like a lot of writers of your generation could do this show.
05:25Sure.
05:26Yeah.
05:26I guess what makes me feel best suited to tell this story is that I feel like I can balance
05:31communicating the crushing weight of this economic system with the hard comedy.
05:36Right.
05:37And sort of the real characters.
05:39With her, you're going to get the funny.
05:40And you know, they passed on friends six times before they made friends and then it was
05:44friends.
05:44Yeah.
05:45And this is better than that.
05:47Depending on casting.
05:49I hear you.
05:50It just, it doesn't feel personal.
05:52Okay.
05:53Listen, we love you.
05:54We are so excited about you.
05:57But this idea specifically, it's just not sparking joy for me.
06:02Oh, crap.
06:05Hey.
06:06Not this one.
06:07Do you have anything else?
06:09Um...
06:09She does.
06:10She's got...
06:11You have so many ideas.
06:12It's honestly, she's like Shakespeare on crack, but not on crack because she doesn't have
06:16a problem.
06:17But if Shakespeare were a woman, which maybe she was...
06:19Maybe.
06:20She is like that crazy amount of ideas.
06:22Some of them new, some of them old.
06:24Some of them IP, if you want that, and some of them not.
06:25Okay.
06:26So we're going to regroup.
06:27We're going to talk about it.
06:28We're going to figure out what makes sense for you.
06:30We're going to bring it back.
06:31Yeah.
06:31And it's going to be good.
06:32I love this.
06:33I love this.
06:33This is sparking joy.
06:35Yay.
06:36I'll bring you something else.
06:37Please do.
06:39I wonder what I do without your love.
06:47Yeah, without your love, baby.
06:51Somebody can't...
06:52Ah.
06:54Damn it.
06:57Sorry.
06:58Sorry.
07:02Morning.
07:03Morning.
07:05Sleep well?
07:07I did.
07:10Aye, aye, aye.
07:12Bye.
07:13No, it's okay.
07:14It's okay. Go ahead.
07:15Hey, Tyler.
07:16How you doing?
07:19Uh-huh.
07:21Sure.
07:25Uh...
07:27Severance package?
07:28What?
07:30Oh, God.
07:31Put out to pasture by a bunch of dorky computer kids.
07:35I've always hated computers, by the way.
07:37Oh, they've ruined everything.
07:39Deborah, I think this might be ageism.
07:42Yeah, well, welcome to the club.
07:45I mean, you're 40 years behind, but we're happy to have you.
07:47I've given 35 years to the Palmetto.
07:50I helped build that fucking place.
07:52I get it.
07:53It's terrible.
07:59What the hell am I gonna do now, Deb?
08:01I don't know.
08:02I'm sorry.
08:04I hate to say this, but I gotta go get ready.
08:06I gotta rehearse.
08:07Yeah.
08:07Tell you what, why don't you stick around for a few days?
08:09Come and see the show.
08:11You think I wasn't gonna stick around to see you play the garden?
08:15Come on.
08:16For sure.
08:20It's gonna be okay.
08:21Yeah.
08:23It is.
08:25You take it from me.
08:31Okay.
08:40When I'm hungry, my whole personality changes.
08:42She'll be here.
08:43I ordered the polenta fritters, and where the hell is our waitress?
08:46Honey, come on.
08:47God damn it.
08:48Oh, wait, there she is.
08:49There she is.
08:50Hello, Ava.
08:51Hi.
08:53This is Jack.
08:54Hi.
08:55Jack, this is my daughter, Ava Cecilia.
08:58Confirmation name, not real, but nice to meet you.
09:01Nice to meet you, too.
09:02So, uh, will Deborah be having a, uh, red carpet experience for her show?
09:06Because Jack and I recently, we broke the seal as a public couple when, uh, we were photographed at the
09:12national windsurfing awards dinner.
09:15Wow.
09:16Wow.
09:16Jack's a grandmaster.
09:17He was ranked fifth nationally.
09:18Oh, yeah.
09:19He was dating another windsurfer, and I just, I, I stole him.
09:22Took me away.
09:23I just, I, I blew his mind.
09:26It's wild.
09:27Totally.
09:30Crazy behavior.
09:31So hot.
09:33It's just unbelievable.
09:34Would you stop.
09:34Oh, sorry.
09:35So how did your pitch go?
09:36Um, it's, it didn't go well.
09:39It's not looking like I'm gonna have a show.
09:41What?
09:41Don't they know how brilliant you are?
09:43I have an idea for a show about a windsurfer.
09:47Matthew McConaughey.
09:49He'd be great for it.
09:51That actually sounds really sellable.
09:53Really?
09:54Yeah.
09:55This is how it happens, honey.
09:57Yeah.
09:57No, no.
09:58Ava knows people.
09:59She'll get it done.
09:59Who should he email?
10:05It sucks.
10:06I had tons of episode ideas and I didn't even get to them.
10:09I'm sorry.
10:10They're idiots.
10:12Yeah.
10:13I mean, I'll figure something out, but...
10:15Can you pass me the phone?
10:17Your phone or my phone?
10:19The phone.
10:19I want to order room service.
10:21Oh, no.
10:21You don't order room service on the phone.
10:22You scan it with like a QR code on your phone.
10:29So, if I want to order room service, I can't use the phone.
10:33Who?
10:34I have to use my phone.
10:36Yeah.
10:37But I can't call anybody.
10:39Right.
10:39Yeah.
10:40No.
10:40You know, it's no wonder you people are all autistic now.
10:43You never talk to anyone.
10:46I need to start wearing a body cam around you, girl.
10:49Jesus Christ.
10:51The stuff you're freaking saying.
10:52Do not drink that.
10:54What?
10:55Why?
10:55Never pull a beverage from the minibar.
10:57It is marked up 700%.
10:59I don't want to get ripped off.
11:00No, I'll have Damien go to Duane Reade and get you one if you really want one.
11:04Okay.
11:05So, I can't have it?
11:08Well, since you don't usually reach for the sugar free, I guess I should reward that.
11:13This time I'll allow it.
11:23Oh, my God.
11:23I, I, um, I'm gonna head to my room really quickly.
11:26Are you, are you good here?
11:27I don't know.
11:28I don't know.
11:29I don't know.
11:29I don't know.
11:31Hey.
11:33You're gonna kill tomorrow.
11:35Thanks.
11:38Okay.
11:39Goodnight.
12:11Good morning, New York City.
12:13It's hotter than hell out there, but thankfully we've got some sweet relief from the diva herself.
12:18Deborah Vance.
12:19She's finally laying it all out there tonight at MSG.
12:22And I'd tell you to get your tickets now, but everyone knows the show sold out in record time.
12:27So if you want to bear witness, you better find a scalper stat.
12:35You know, I realized you're right.
12:37I don't know what it's like being a young person with friends.
12:39I have one friend and she's 70.
12:42Funny.
12:43I, I've been living with Deborah over the past few years, so the show would be about that.
12:47Two women from different generations who live together and become friends.
12:50Okay.
12:51Go on.
12:52I have a ton of episode ideas already.
12:54Like, imagine you're trying to hook up with someone, but your roommate is in the next room on speakerphone
12:58because she literally doesn't know how to turn it off.
13:00Oh, my God.
13:02I can see that.
13:03They butt heads a ton on politics and etiquette and fashion, but at the end of the day,
13:12they help each other see the world differently and they both become better people for it.
13:18Eva, I love this.
13:20I love this.
13:21It's based off of real experiences you've had, clear character games, but still IP.
13:26Can you do me a favor?
13:27Can you please write a one pager?
13:29I already did it.
13:30I'll send it right now.
13:32Amazing.
13:32Well, turns out we're only doing one comedy pilot this year, so a lot of people have to weigh in,
13:36but I'm going to do my very best to push it through.
13:39Stay tuned.
13:40Great.
13:48She's here.
13:49Oh!
13:50Oh!
13:50Oh!
13:51Oh!
13:51Hi, my little Debbie's.
13:52How are we?
13:53Well, um, not great.
13:55None of us could get tickets.
13:57We were trying to find scalpers to buy some, but we couldn't find any.
14:01None of you?
14:02No.
14:02They sold out too fast.
14:04That's terrible.
14:06Damn, you know, we've got to help them out.
14:07On it.
14:08But don't forget, I'm live streaming the whole show on Deborah Plus.
14:13Love you.
14:13Love you guys.
14:14I love you guys.
14:15I love you guys.
14:16Oh, God.
14:17Oh, my God.
14:18Oh, my God.
14:19Yay!
14:25Oh, and I talked to the video playback guy, so we're all set there.
14:28Fabulous, fabulous.
14:34I am addicted to carrots.
14:37Yum.
14:38The job at late night wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
14:40It's not that much fun to do something no woman has done before.
14:43Except George Michael.
14:44That was fun.
14:45It's great.
14:46Now, I know it's crazy to go back now, but is Ricky Martin funnier?
14:49Well, it depends.
14:51Have you had sex with Ricky Martin?
14:53Wow.
14:54She bangs indeed.
14:56You are overthinking, okay?
14:58Don't change a thing.
14:59The hay's in the barn, doll.
15:00Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
15:02Hey.
15:02Hey.
15:03So, MSG just flagged that they've opened the doors, but they're not seeing the foot traffic
15:07they normally do.
15:08That's what felt off.
15:09I don't hear a crowd.
15:10Hmm.
15:11But what is going on?
15:12I mean, is there a subway strike or something?
15:14I don't think so.
15:15It looks like there's no issue with the subways or transportation or anything.
15:18Yeah, there's no protest.
15:19You know, I can't prove it, but I know that Joy Behar is behind this.
15:23She has come for me for the last time, I swear to God.
15:27What?
15:28Okay.
15:28I think we should spread out.
15:48Excuse me.
15:49Have you seen anyone?
15:54Deborah, can you come with me?
16:06Yeah, you don't know me.
16:06No, no, no.
16:06Oh, no, no, no.
16:10No, no.
16:10No, no, no.
16:10No, no, no.
16:10I can give one of my ears.
16:16I could give a condom a knife, right?
16:22No, no, no, no.
16:23No, no, no, no, no, no.
16:25You can give me much more of this up there.
16:26Looks like I'm in trouble if you're doing crowd work tonight.
16:33Hi, Deb.
16:35You made it really easy for me to buy this show out
16:38when you made your ticket prices so low.
16:40I appreciate that.
16:43Why?
16:44Because I want you to stop.
16:48For months, your heroic exit was the first thing I heard about every single day.
16:53It was a fucking nightmare for me.
16:56I got questions about it in every interview.
16:58Almost lost my board's trust.
17:01I had to reduce my bonus package.
17:04And things have finally quieted down,
17:06so the last thing I need is you bringing it all back up again.
17:13So, um...
17:14What?
17:18You think you can just silence me forever?
17:21I'm gonna try.
17:25I have an NDA and I want you to sign it.
17:28You got a big payout.
17:30And all you have to do is agree to never speak publicly about late night or me ever again.
17:36But if you don't sign,
17:38I promise you,
17:40I will do whatever I have to do to make you stop.
17:44I'll keep buying every ticket.
17:46I'll use every possible outlet to make you seem unreliable.
17:51So be smart about this.
17:55Do you really want to spend your golden years fighting a losing battle?
18:11Fuck your NDA.
18:14And fuck you.
18:22Fuck you.
18:24Fuckers!
18:25This is bullshit.
18:26He needs to get a life.
18:27And if I'm telling you you need to get a life,
18:29you are a fucking loser.
18:31Yeah, no offense.
18:32Siri, Google how to sink a super yacht.
18:35No AI!
18:35This has got to be illegal, right?
18:37This is...
18:37We got to call the lawyers is what we got to do.
18:40What is it?
18:40What is it?
18:41It's not racketeering, but it's close to that.
18:42This happens.
18:43Remember that one time 50 Cent bought out the entire Ja Rule concert just to fuck with him?
18:47This is insanity.
18:48We need to go to the press and expose him.
18:50Yes, we need to do a media alert.
18:51We need to do a press conference.
18:52We need to kill him.
18:53We need to wage you his ass!
18:55Okay, stop.
18:55Stop.
18:56Don't listen.
18:56Listen.
18:57We're going to do the show.
18:58And we're going to do it for free.
19:00That way he can't stop the ticket sales and he can't mess with it.
19:02And anybody who wants to come can come.
19:04This is the only date that MSG had.
19:06I know that.
19:07I want to do it in Central Park.
19:08Oh, okay.
19:09Yeah.
19:10Yes, I'll call the Parks Department.
19:11We can talk at the springtime.
19:12No.
19:12We can get a whole...
19:13This weekend.
19:14This weekend.
19:15Um, well...
19:16What about the MSG record?
19:17Forget that.
19:17I just...
19:18I just need to do this show.
19:21I...
19:22Yeah, but Debra, you have costume changes.
19:23You have pyrotechnics.
19:24You have a hydraulic lift.
19:24No, no, forget all that.
19:26Just me and a mic.
19:27But I want to do it now.
19:30Okay, well, then we'll figure it out.
19:32Right, Jimmy?
19:34Yes.
19:35I will start making some calls.
19:36I'll text my camp friends.
19:37They run New York.
19:39Okay, there was a show last night in the park.
19:41Maybe we could use their stage.
19:42Whoa, let me get this straight.
19:44You want us to put together a free stand-up show in Central Park with no prior planning,
19:48no infrastructure, and you want this to happen in three days?
19:52Yes, Randy.
19:53Yeah.
19:53God, I love this business.
19:55It's 90% the most delusional lazy people you ever seen in your life, and 10% the most delusional
20:03workaholics.
20:04And I, for one, am proud and honored to be part of that latter 10%.
20:07Let's go.
20:09Let's fucking go!
20:10Yes, Frank, you're the one in your heart.
20:14Take a little time for the world.
20:17When there's a will, there's a way.
20:19Cut together, don't stray.
20:21Put a little care in your heart.
20:24Just hear me out.
20:24Just hear me out.
20:25I can't do it.
20:26I'm sorry, miss.
20:27Listen, please.
20:28All you have to do is hold the stage through the weekend.
20:30I'll pay a rental fee.
20:31I'll pay all your overtime.
20:33Just name your prize.
20:33It's not about the money.
20:35We have to break all this down and get it out of here by noon.
20:37Excuse me.
20:38Do you two beautiful boys know who you're talking to?
20:40That is the queen of comedy!
20:42I don't care if she's the queen of freaking Sheba.
20:44She's not getting the stage.
20:45We have to pack it up.
20:46Boss's orders.
20:47Well, who's your boss?
20:48Where is he?
20:48Can I talk to him?
20:49Boss?
20:50Well, well, well.
20:51Well, turns out the doctor was a woman.
20:55Oh, my God.
20:56Weed?
20:57In the flesh, Ava Daniels.
20:59Fallout boy rocked the park last night.
21:01Now we just got to strike this whole rig,
21:02get it back up in Topeka by Tuesday, 0600.
21:05Okay, we understand that, but if you could just push, even just...
21:08No, it's a domino effect, white boy.
21:10This is one of the tightest schedules I've ever constructed.
21:13They're playing 56 domestic dates before we hopped the pond to Glastow.
21:17Weed, listen.
21:18I know we've had our differences in the past,
21:20but I was supposed to play the garden, and then I got screwed over.
21:25Please.
21:26I just need to say my piece.
21:28Deb, I'm gonna stop you right there.
21:31Keep this stage up through the weekend.
21:34Get them to Topeka in, what, 39 hours?
21:37That'd take a miracle.
21:39It was lucky for you, though.
21:41You're looking at a miracle worker.
21:45So, when you canned me, that was a first in my entire career.
21:50I was shell-shocked.
21:51And I am embarrassed to admit, I did relapse.
21:53I went completely dark.
21:54I woke up flat on my back in a bed, not a chair.
22:00In a motel in Juarez.
22:04My hair was in cornrows.
22:07My eyebrows had been burned off.
22:09And I was holding an Apple TV remote.
22:12But, all the room had was a Roku.
22:18What is that?
22:20I have no memory of the previous three months.
22:25And then my boy Pete Wentz called me back in.
22:27We did 14 grueling back-to-back shows in the South Atlantic.
22:31And then, one morning in Omaha, Pete said to me,
22:36Weed.
22:37Oh, God.
22:39Weed.
22:41You're better than you've ever been.
22:43And I owe that to you, Deb.
22:46You gotta crash and burn before you can rise, sister.
22:51I'm gonna make this work for you.
22:53You can use our stage.
22:55Thank you so much.
22:57Get off, Buck.
22:57Sorry, sir.
22:59Bring it in, Deb.
23:00Bring it in.
23:01Oh, Deb.
23:03Deb, Deb, Debbie.
23:04Hey, there's only one thing that I can't allow.
23:07And that's a grievance from the park department.
23:10So, you're gonna need to get a permit to perform.
23:13Without it, city's gonna shut you down anyway.
23:15No problem.
23:16We are on it, Miss Weed.
23:17Go!
23:22You don't want to play the garden anyway.
23:24Terrible loadout.
23:25Thanks, Weed.
23:26Mm-hmm.
23:30Love you, Dad!
23:32Yeah, I love you, too.
23:36She loves me.
23:47Hey.
23:48Hi.
23:50This is Pot.
23:51Can you believe it?
23:53Yep.
23:54Uh, can I come in?
23:55Sure.
23:56Come on.
24:07You know, after what Bob Lipka pulled last night made me realize pretty much every stiff
24:11in a suit is a lying, selfish piece of shit.
24:15Middard dogs, Deb.
24:17But not you.
24:18We've been looking for someone to run the operations at the casino.
24:21So, why don't you come work for me and Marcus at the Diva?
24:24You mean it?
24:26Now, listen.
24:26It wouldn't be like the Palmetto.
24:28This is a small, independently-owned casino.
24:30You'd have to be on the floor.
24:32You wouldn't be in the C-suite.
24:33Oh, I hate the C-suite.
24:34Yeah, you know me.
24:35I'm a man of the people.
24:37I want to be on the floor, shaking hands, slapping asses.
24:40Oh, you can't do that anymore.
24:41Yeah, okay, right.
24:42I forgot.
24:43Now, I've run this by Marcus, and he's on board.
24:46He's always liked you better than I have anyway.
24:49So, what do you say?
24:54I'd love to.
24:56This means the world to me.
25:01Great.
25:02Great.
25:03All right, I gotta go.
25:05I have to get as many people as possible into Central Park this weekend.
25:08Whoa, whoa, what's going on?
25:09I'm doing my show there.
25:11For free.
25:12Whoa.
25:13So, now I just gotta get the word out.
25:15Wow, and you need people.
25:17Yeah.
25:18I'll get you people.
25:19I got my guys in Atlantic City.
25:21Well, he can sign a wee bus tourist in all the time.
25:24Give me the word, and I'll unleash the Marty.
25:28Okay, unleash away.
25:31Hoo-ah!
25:32All right!
25:33We're back, baby.
25:35Oh.
25:38Okay, good, good.
25:39All right, now, now, let the lollipops.
25:42We drug tested the diva.
25:46Thank you, boss.
25:47Will do.
25:52You want a permit for this weekend in Central Park?
25:56Yes.
25:58It takes 30 days to process a permit in New York City, okay?
26:02There is nothing that I can do.
26:05Please, look, this isn't just about a permit, all right?
26:07It's about sticking it to the man.
26:08Yeah, and you could be a part of that.
26:09I mean, screw your boss.
26:11Go above his head!
26:12My boss is a woman, and we're in a relationship outside of work, and I don't feel comfortable
26:17keeping secrets from her.
26:18That's beautiful.
26:19I would never ask you to do that.
26:20That's respectable and honorable.
26:21I love that.
26:22You look gay.
26:22Listen, if you've ever had a dream crushed, if you've ever been bullied, then you know
26:27what Debra Vance is going through right now, and we have the chance to right that wrong,
26:31to let her speak truth to power, and not just for her, but for all people who have ever
26:36had their voices quieted by the powers that be.
26:38And if we don't, well, as Desmond Tutu said, in situations of injustice, if we choose to
26:45be neutral, then we are siding with the oppressor.
26:50Something like that.
26:51Is that what he said?
26:52Yeah.
26:52Are you done with your Shonda log?
26:55Listen, it's not gonna happen, and if she tries to perform, she will be escorted outside
27:00the park.
27:00Now, please leave.
27:02I have a well-deserved break I need to take.
27:04Well, you're trying to be nice.
27:05Please, just, like, I'm just gonna be giving them a damn permit.
27:09Listen to my girl.
27:10Wait a minute, wait a minute.
27:11He said to me about her sweater.
27:12Are you listening to the I've Zine It All, the Zina Rewatch podcast?
27:14That's a great episode.
27:16What?
27:16How do you know about that?
27:18They're about to talk about the pan flute.
27:19You know, she played it practically.
27:20This just came out five minutes ago.
27:22Boy, who are you?
27:23Well, I've heard the episode because I produced the podcast.
27:26I represent Renee O'Connor, and the podcast was actually our idea.
27:29His idea, he thought of it.
27:31No, we're team, we're team.
27:32He's being humble.
27:33Child, I'm obsessed with Zina.
27:36Obsessed.
27:36I wore the leather armbands to the prom.
27:39Okay, pop off.
27:40Baby, I even named my damn daughter Aphrodite.
27:43Hey, she likes that.
27:46She don't.
27:46Ah, yes.
27:48Are they really doing a live show at the Acropolis, or was that just a joke?
27:51I couldn't tell.
27:52I'm not sure.
27:53I could FaceTime Renee right now.
27:55What?
27:55You could ask her.
27:56What?
27:56Oh, my God, yes.
27:57Actually, you know what?
27:58I'm so busy trying to get this permit.
28:00No, no, no, no.
28:01Hey, chill.
28:02Hey, hold it.
28:03Hold it.
28:03Listen.
28:05She knows it.
28:07I think I can transfer the permit to you guys.
28:09Yes!
28:09Thank you so much.
28:11Baby, Z-knights unite.
28:19And those northern lights will be visible for the next week.
28:22So, Al, maybe we'll get something of a show.
28:24Weather's looking pretty darn good.
28:26Good.
28:28Is that Deborah Banks?
28:30Should we let her in?
28:32Sure.
28:36So, basically, Deborah, he Ja-ruled you.
28:39Exactly.
28:39Exactly.
28:40Well, 50 Cent did to Ja-rul, Bob Lipka did to me.
28:42Yeah, men are dogs.
28:44It's suspiccable.
28:45But I'm reclaiming my time, and I'm hoping that you, America, will come out to hear it.
28:49If you are in the tri-state area, get out to Central Park.
28:52See Deborah Vance, the one and only.
28:55How many of you shows at the park?
28:57Central Park Live.
28:58Deborah Vance Live.
28:59Here we go.
29:00Here we go.
29:00Here we go.
29:01Here we go.
29:02You guys seriously have to go see Deborah in Central Park.
29:05She's my best friend ever, ever, and my literal idol.
29:08And if you don't go see her, you're a loser.
29:10I agree.
29:12We saw any show, guys.
29:13My daughter's best friend and mentor, Deborah Vance Live.
29:16Come on.
29:16My daughter's best friend.
29:17Take this.
29:18You're going to the show.
29:19Neverland, y'all.
29:21So as you know, Deborah and I have had our ups and downs.
29:24But at the end of the day, she's a really great girl.
29:27And it's not cool what's been done to her.
29:29So get out to Central Park and hear her side of the story, because she's funny as hell.
29:35Silencing women is never okay.
29:40Come and see Deborah Vance, Central Park.
29:43Come and see Deborah Vance.
29:44It's the kine.
29:45She wears a wig, too.
29:46She wears a shaito.
29:47Welcome back.
29:48We have a very special surprise guest.
29:51Deborah Vance is here to promote her free show in Central Park.
29:54But she was only allowed off the blacklist on one condition.
29:59Joy.
29:59Yeah?
30:01I have to apologize.
30:03You would know the difference between a Margot and a Merlot if I smashed it over your head.
30:08And I think that toasting with a glass of iced tea is just pure class.
30:13Thank you very much.
30:15And I'm sorry I got you put on the terrorist watch list.
30:18That was you.
30:19That was you.
30:19Yeah.
30:24I'm glad I don't have to hear about this anymore.
30:29Snack well, snack well, when in and well you snack.
30:31Snack well, snack well, when in and well you snack.
30:33Snack well, snack well, snack well.
30:34Yeah, Rick, I'm getting a little bit of feedback on the right.
30:37Boss, boss, boss, boss.
30:39It's the network for you two.
30:42Hello?
30:43Hi.
30:43Hey, guys.
30:44So I do have some unfortunate news.
30:47We are not going to be ordering a script.
30:50Oh, man.
30:52That's really sad to hear.
30:54Because we are ordering a pilot.
30:57We are committing to shooting a pilot for this dang thing.
31:01Holy shit.
31:02Oh, my God.
31:04Thank you, guys.
31:05There's more to come, but I just wanted to call and let you guys know.
31:09Ava.
31:10Congratulations.
31:11Okay.
31:12Bye.
31:13Oh, my God.
31:14Hey, Ava sold her show.
31:16Oh, woo!
31:19Oh, my God.
31:21Oh, my God.
31:23Come on.
31:24Pile film.
31:24Great comedy.
31:26Debra Bass on the Great Lawn.
31:28Debra Bass.
31:30Right down to the Great Lawn.
31:32Debra Bass, best comedian in the world.
31:34Have a good performance right over here.
31:36Sure.
31:36Hey, how's it going?
31:38Good to see you.
31:38Try the head out.
31:41Don't get spooks for the last don't sound the same.
31:43Yeah, yeah, you're right.
31:43We're outdoors.
31:44Debra, hey.
31:45Yeah, it's a good idea.
31:46So.
31:46No, what?
31:47What now?
31:47They've closed the entrance to the park at 72nd and 5th.
31:50What?
31:51Why?
31:52That's the entrance closest to the lawn.
31:53People won't be able to get in.
31:55They closed it because it's already overcrowded.
31:57Oh.
31:58There are people spilling onto the bike path and the trails.
32:01What?
32:01The parks department doesn't know for sure,
32:02but my girl is estimating that there are over 30,000 people here right now.
32:06Holy shit.
32:08They came.
32:09Wow.
32:10And you know what?
32:11For stand-up in the park, that's a record.
32:15Now, that's a pretty good lead to an obituary.
32:25Okay, everybody.
32:26Uh, everybody.
32:27Come on.
32:27Gather.
32:27Quick, quick, quick, quick.
32:28Everybody.
32:29Everybody.
32:29Everybody.
32:30Come here.
32:30Come here.
32:33I couldn't have done this without you.
32:36Any of you.
32:38Thank you so much.
32:44I love you.
32:47Please welcome to the stage,
32:50mi amiga, Deborah Vance.
33:24How are you feeling tonight, New York City?
33:34First, I would like to acknowledge, this is stolen land.
33:40Oh, my God, I didn't even tell her to say that.
33:43Now, if you came to the park tonight for Deborah Vance,
33:46you're in the right place.
33:49If you came to the park tonight for anonymous gay sex,
33:53you're still in the right place.
34:13You're in the right place.
34:32You're in the right place.
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