- 2 days ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:07hey you know the rule whoever finishes the coffee's got to make more that's the rule huh
00:12yeah and who made the rule well uh me cheers without rules we got anarchy
00:22georgie i see you a sec shut the door am i in trouble no am i getting a race no
00:34is it about
00:35my coffee rule just sit i need you to cover the store this weekend where are you gonna be
00:43tire convention in new orleans and you ain't taking me why would i well a tire convention
00:49is like going to dollywood but better because there's tires well i need you here what about
00:55reuben you're gonna take over the store someday this is how you get your feet wet he hates it when
01:01you leave me in charge oh he's fine so you told him no that's why the door shut well i
01:07don't want
01:07to tell him son dealing with disgruntled employees is part of the job then why don't you do it well
01:13i'm dealing with you you're disgruntled i'm done um this is good for you you mean it's good for you
01:21same thing
01:25reuben just a heads up mr mccallister's gone out of town and he's leaving me in charge
01:30that makes sense you have been here several months
01:34just so you know i don't even think of it as me being in charge i think of us more
01:38as partners
01:38like tango and cash i don't know what that is you ain't never seen tango and cash kurt russell
01:43sylvester salone go make coffee yes sir
01:48so
02:16Before you leave, would you take a look at the toilet in our bathroom?
02:19Oh, you just have to jiggle the handle.
02:21I prefer not to jiggle, Jim.
02:25Okay, okay.
02:26Where are you going?
02:27New Orleans, tire convention.
02:29Oh, are you taking Georgie?
02:30Why would I?
02:31Why wouldn't you?
02:32He's great at networking.
02:33People like him.
02:34I'm a fan.
02:36Thank you, Bubba.
02:39So can I?
02:40You really wanna?
02:41I do.
02:43Okay, fine.
02:43I'll tell Reuben he has to run the shop.
02:46I'll tell him.
02:47No, this is good news.
02:48Boss gets to give the good news.
02:50So all these years I've offered to go with you and you've always said no.
02:54Well, I just didn't think you'd care about a bunch of dudes talking about advances in tire treads.
02:59Goodyear's got this new AquaTread.
03:01It's designed to shed water twice as fast as a normal tire.
03:04It's something else.
03:07See?
03:09You'll be okay with CC while I'm gone?
03:11Of course.
03:12Plus, grandma's here.
03:13And I can always lend a hand.
03:16Have you ever even held a baby?
03:18I've held an accordion.
03:19How different can it be?
03:22You don't squeeze a baby.
03:23Okay.
03:25Got it.
03:33Good Urigatta is a long wearing, quiet riding, touring radio.
03:40It has a wide tread for responsive handling.
03:43Are you reading her entire catalog?
03:46It ain't about the story.
03:47It's about the performance.
03:50Give me that little nugget.
03:52Come here.
03:53Give me a baby.
03:55Okay, sweetie.
03:56It's gonna be hard to be away from her.
03:58What about me?
04:00It's different.
04:01You already got teeth and know how to walk.
04:03I am the whole package.
04:06It's kind of exciting your dad talking about me taking over the store someday.
04:10Mm-hmm.
04:10You're gonna be the tire king of Medford.
04:12Forget Medford.
04:13I'm gonna be the tire king of Texas.
04:15And does the tire king of Texas still live with my parents?
04:18Hell no.
04:19He's got a giant house.
04:21Ooh, I like that.
04:22Oh, and a big old pool in the shape of a tire.
04:26So, a circle.
04:28What?
04:30Yeah.
04:33I can't wait to meet the Hankook tire guys.
04:37Mm-hmm.
04:38I'll learn how to say hi in Korean.
04:40Anyol.
04:41How'd you learn that?
04:42Called children.
04:43He also taught me.
04:45What's that mean?
04:46Where's the bathroom?
04:49Why does your brother know Korean?
04:51Why does he know Klingon?
04:53I've learned not to ask.
04:58Listen.
04:59Something I gotta tell you.
05:01Sure, what's that?
05:03You won't be meeting any Koreans on this trip.
05:06Why not?
05:07We're not going to the convention.
05:09Where are we going?
05:10To a riverboat casino.
05:12I don't understand.
05:14It's the same as a regular casino, only it floats.
05:18So this whole trip's a lie?
05:20Not the whole trip.
05:22Just the part about the convention and us going to it.
05:28Why'd you even invite me?
05:30I didn't invite you.
05:33What am I supposed to tell Mandy?
05:34Just tell her that we went to a tire convention.
05:37I don't want to lie to my wife.
05:39Don't think of it as a lie.
05:40Then what is it?
05:42It's more of a yarn.
05:43Tall tale.
05:45You know, make em ups.
05:48What?
05:49Just don't tell Mandy.
05:51She'll tell Audrey and then I'm in for it.
05:54Oh, Mr. McAllister, this is not a good color on you.
05:58Look, you're making too big a deal out of this, okay?
06:01We're going to have a great time.
06:02Look, no one gets hurt and we can talk about tires all you want.
06:06Isn't that basically what happens at a convention?
06:08No.
06:09Oh, how would you know? You ain't never been to one.
06:17Well, what happened here?
06:19Cece and I had a disagreement over lunch.
06:21I wanted it in her mouth.
06:23She thought otherwise.
06:25You've got some banana in your hair.
06:28Oh, that's from breakfast, but thank you.
06:32Hey, when you're done, would you like to go clothes shopping with me?
06:35Oh, what's the occasion?
06:37Well, the boys are out having fun. Why shouldn't we?
06:39I don't know if I'd call a tire convention fun.
06:42Oh, Amanda.
06:44There's no tire convention.
06:46The boys are going to a riverboat casino to gamble.
06:50What are you talking about?
06:51Well, your father does this every year.
06:53He thinks I don't know.
06:57Wait, I don't understand.
06:58If you know he's lying, why aren't you calling him on it?
07:01Well, I considered that.
07:03But then I realized, I get a weekend to myself.
07:06And someday, if we ever have a bad fight, I can use this to crush him.
07:12That is really sick.
07:16Wait, does Georgie know?
07:19No.
07:19No, he doesn't know. He wouldn't lie to me like that.
07:21Maybe, maybe not.
07:23Oh, what happened when you first met?
07:25Is something about his age?
07:28Pete, that was different. He only lied to have sex with me.
07:31How is that better?
07:33Didn't say better, I said different.
07:35If I'm going to do this, we got to get our story straight.
07:38There were tires. We saw them. The story is straight.
07:42What if Mandy asked for more details?
07:44Well, that's the great thing about tires. No one ever wants to hear about them.
07:48It's not just about tires. Did we go to dinner with any sales reps?
07:52Sure.
07:53Where'd they take us?
07:53I don't know. Steakhouse.
07:56What'd we get?
07:57I had a shrimp cocktail and a salad.
08:00No one's going to believe you ordered a salad.
08:03It doesn't matter!
08:05She's going to figure it out.
08:07Listen, I've been doing this for 10 years. Audrey has no idea.
08:12How long have you known?
08:13About 10 years.
08:16Why didn't you tell me before they left?
08:18I didn't want to give up my weekend.
08:21Or did you want to see if Georgie would lie to me?
08:24No, that's just gravy.
08:27Well, I'm sure he's going to tell me the truth.
08:31Exciting, isn't it?
08:33When he calls to check in, I'm going to tell him.
08:34You will not. Then your father will know that I know.
08:37But you're also lying to him because you know he's lying to you.
08:41It's not lying to let him think that I think his lie is the truth when the truth is I
08:44know it's a lie.
08:46Okay, I don't follow, but I'm pretty sure I disagree.
08:50I have to say I'm glad you're uncomfortable lying to my daughter.
08:53I'm glad you're glad.
08:56It speaks well of you.
08:58I'm a heck of a guy.
09:02Listen, this weekend's happening. You might as well have fun.
09:05Can I even get into a casino? I ain't 21.
09:08Oh, you're telling me Georgie Cooper don't have a fake ID?
09:11You're starting to get on my nerves.
09:14That's what I thought.
09:16What if I win money? Where do I tell Mandy it came from?
09:19You don't tell her.
09:20So another lie.
09:22It's the same lie.
09:24Just buy her something nice. She won't ask where the money came from.
09:29Okay, I guess I can do this.
09:31Attaboy!
09:32We just need to nail down what we ordered at the steakhouse.
09:34Oh my God. We had steaks!
09:37That's good. Steaks.
09:47I gotta call Mandy.
09:49Why?
09:50Well, I told her I would when we got checked in.
09:52Fine, but just keep it short and sweet.
09:54I don't know about short, but lucky for you, sweet comes natural.
10:00I wish you would have let me buy you something.
10:03Well, I said I like that striped top.
10:06I meant something you looked good in.
10:09Oh, that might be Georgie.
10:12Do not tell him you know.
10:13Shhh!
10:15Hello?
10:16Hey, just wanted to let you know we made it.
10:19Good, good.
10:21How was the drive?
10:22Fine, fine.
10:24Great, great.
10:27Big day tomorrow?
10:29Yeah, I think we're gonna turn in soon.
10:32Sure.
10:34Lot of meetings lined up?
10:36Yeah, I think so.
10:37I'm just following your dad's lead.
10:40Yeah, well, he has been to so many of these, you're in good hands.
10:44Yep.
10:44Well, give Cece a kiss for me.
10:46You got it.
10:48I love you.
10:52I love you, too.
10:55You lying bastard!
10:58He didn't tell you?
11:01Oh, shut up.
11:03You know what'd be fun?
11:04Let's you and me go out and have a drink.
11:06Uh, hello, I have a baby.
11:08I know, but Connor can watch Cece for an hour or two.
11:11Uh, come on, I'm buying.
11:15Fine.
11:16Great!
11:16We can tell people we're sisters.
11:19We can tell people we're sisters.
11:25What's become of me?
11:39Hello?
11:40Hey, Connor, it's Georgie. Can I talk to Mandy?
11:43She went out with my mom.
11:45Who's watching the baby?
11:46I am.
11:47You know how to do that?
11:49No, but I'm learning on the job.
11:52Okay, well, keep in mind that's the only kid I got.
11:55Not to worry. We're having a great time rocking out.
11:58I'll try again later.
12:00Bye.
12:03Okay, this is a song about me and you.
12:11Now this right here is a story about a baby and a man.
12:15One day they got together and decided to form a band.
12:22Now the baby didn't do much and the man wrote all the songs.
12:26But it didn't seem to matter with how well they got along.
12:33Baby man, baby man.
12:37One member is a baby and the other is a man.
12:42Baby man, baby man.
12:47Believe me, you will never see a spectacle so grand.
12:58You know, in all these years, I don't think we've ever had a drink together.
13:02Well, I used to steal out of your liquor cabinet. Does that count?
13:06You know what I mean.
13:08I don't think I've ever seen you drink a beer before.
13:11You didn't know me in high school.
13:14Oh, really? Were you the bad girl at the sock hop?
13:18Don't make fun of sock hops. I had my first kiss at the sock hop.
13:24In the back seat of a car?
13:26No, in the front seat. I was a good girl.
13:31Hey, can I ask you a serious question?
13:33Of course. Are you and dad okay?
13:36What do you mean?
13:37Well, you're lying, he's lying. That doesn't concern you.
13:41Oh, no. We're fine.
13:44Okay, if you say so.
13:46Are you really worried about us?
13:48Or is this about you and Georgie?
13:50Um, I don't know. I guess a little of both.
13:55You know, I haven't always been his biggest fan.
13:58But I have to admit, he's a good husband.
14:03Wow. I like half a beer Audrey.
14:08Enjoy it. Full beer Audrey might dance on the bar.
14:13Can we get another round?
14:16What you thinking? Hold'em? Blackjack? Craps?
14:20Don't matter. Whatever you want.
14:22I'll quit your moping.
14:24I ain't moping, I'm fretting.
14:27What's the difference?
14:28Moping is sad about yesterday.
14:30Fretting is sad about tomorrow.
14:33That's heavy.
14:34I just can't help wondering if this is how my marriage is gonna be in 30 years.
14:38If you're lucky.
14:40How is this lucky?
14:4130 years is a good run. A lot of folks end up divorced.
14:45Yeah, cause they lie to each other.
14:48Hey, when you've been with someone that long,
14:49it's nice to have a little secret now and then.
14:52You trying to convince me, or you?
14:54I'm trying to have some fun, but I got the world's oldest teenager dragging me down.
15:01What do you think Mrs. McAllister's secrets are?
15:04I don't know. I don't want to know.
15:06Oh, I bet she's got some doozies.
15:09Stealing from the store, sleeping with the mailman.
15:13Enough.
15:13You don't like thinking about that, do you?
15:15No.
15:16Good.
15:19Careful, careful, careful.
15:21Hey!
15:22What's wrong with her?
15:24Oh, she had a couple beers.
15:26And a couple of beers.
15:29And a couple shots.
15:31Tequila!
15:35Is everything okay with Cece?
15:36Sound asleep.
15:38We need to find you a girl so you can have your own babies.
15:44When are you gonna have more?
15:47You're not getting any younger.
15:50All right, all right, let's get you to bed.
15:53Oh, okay.
15:55Where are my shoes?
15:57Oh, that is a wonderful question.
16:00I like those shoes.
16:01Huh?
16:06Where'd you learn to play blackjack like that?
16:08My meemaw taught me.
16:11Well, that figures.
16:13How much you up?
16:14She also taught me to never answer that question.
16:18Oh, come on.
16:18I'll tell you how I did.
16:20I watched you play.
16:21I know how you did.
16:23Yeah, well.
16:25I'll make it back tomorrow.
16:27Not if you keep hitting on a 12 when the dealer shows a 6.
16:30I had a feeling.
16:35Oh, this can't be good.
16:39Hello.
16:40Hello.
16:41Hello, Jim.
16:44Audrey?
16:45Are you conventioning?
16:49Uh, we were sleeping.
16:52Something wrong?
16:53You okay?
16:54I'm great.
16:56Really great.
16:57Great?
16:58And you're great.
17:01Okay.
17:02What's going on?
17:03I think she's drunk.
17:04Is that Georgie?
17:06Hi, Georgie!
17:08She's drunk.
17:10Me and Mandy went out drinking.
17:12Oh!
17:13Well, that sounds fun.
17:14I don't know where my shoes are.
17:18Well, I'm sure they'll turn up.
17:21Okay.
17:22Tell Georgie I said hi.
17:25Will do.
17:27Goodnight, sexy man.
17:31Goodnight.
17:34You.
17:37You think they're onto us?
17:38Ah, she would have said something.
17:40Alright, I'm gonna turn in.
17:41Sure.
17:42Wouldn't wanna stay up too late and have fun.
17:47Mr. McAllister?
17:48Yeah?
17:49No disrespect, but I'm seriously questioning you as a role model.
17:54It's understandable.
18:01We're back!
18:02Remember what we talked about.
18:04Got it.
18:05You cool?
18:06I'm cool.
18:07Alright, try smiling.
18:08Hey!
18:09Hey!
18:10Hey!
18:11Welcome back.
18:12How was the convention?
18:14Best one yet.
18:14Yeah.
18:16Korean sales rep took us out to a steakhouse.
18:19We had steaks.
18:22Yum!
18:23How about you gals?
18:25Sounds like you had a night.
18:27What do you mean?
18:28Well, you called me drunk off your ass.
18:31No, I didn't.
18:33Seriously?
18:33You don't remember?
18:34Jim, I'd remember if I called you.
18:36Okay.
18:38Okay.
18:41Never find your shoes.
18:42Oh, my God.
18:43I called you.
18:46So, I hope it wasn't all work.
18:47I hope you had a little fun.
18:49Well, you know me.
18:50Work is fun.
18:52Here.
18:53Check it out.
18:53I got you something.
18:55Oh, my God.
18:56Diamond earrings.
18:57Are these real?
18:58Of course they're real.
19:00How can you afford these?
19:02Well, your dad gave me a raise.
19:07Sure did.
19:09Did you get me anything, honey?
19:11Oh, you don't remember?
19:13I told you on the phone I was gonna get you something you told me not to.
19:18You're very firm about it.
19:21Okay, I'm gonna unpack and hit the shower.
19:23Me too.
19:24Missed you like crazy.
19:25Missed you like crazy.
19:31I got diamonds, you got squat.
19:42Excuse me.
19:44Did anyone happen to find a pair of shoes?
19:48Oh, yeah.
19:49Welcome back.
19:52There you go.
19:54Hang on.
19:57You want the bra, too?
19:58Nope.
20:03That's not mine.
20:05That's not mine.
20:06No.
20:35Haven't seminated.
20:35Can't wait for this one.
20:36This is kind of part of the cat.
Comments