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00:03Hmm, weird.
00:05What?
00:06Well, this article says you put cabbage leaves in your bra when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.
00:10Why would you do that?
00:12To help dry up your milk.
00:13What happens to the cabbage leaves?
00:16That's your question?
00:18Good news, my mail's finally come to this address.
00:22Oh, joy.
00:25Check it out.
00:26What's that?
00:27My very first credit card.
00:30You never had one before?
00:31Nope, blockbuster card, subway card, that's it.
00:35Not even a library card?
00:37Good one.
00:39Get your ass, son.
00:40This is going right next to my driver's license.
00:44Maybe it's time to retire the Velcro.
00:48Wow, still works.
00:51You just be careful, those cards can get you in trouble.
00:54Amanda knows a thing or two about that, don't you, Amanda?
00:57Oh, yeah.
01:00Well, when I was younger, I got a little carried away, but I learned my lesson.
01:05Younger like my age?
01:07Yes.
01:08So a long time ago.
01:10Yes.
01:12Thanks.
01:40Gee, C.C., how'd you get food in your hair?
01:44Yeah, I miss when she was bald.
01:46It was our thing.
01:49Hey, would you mind giving her a bath while I clean up?
01:51You kidding?
01:52It's every time the best part of my day.
01:54Come on, stinky girl.
02:00Okay, no more credit card talk around Georgie.
02:03I assumed you told him.
02:05Well, you assumed wrong.
02:06Don't you think he has a right to know?
02:08Of course he does.
02:10What's the holdup?
02:11He thinks I'm perfect.
02:12Why would I take that away from him?
02:15Amanda, secrets are bad for a marriage.
02:18Yeah, yeah.
02:19What are we keeping secret?
02:20This is a private conversation, honey.
02:23I have a secret of my own.
02:24Oh, good for you.
02:26Would you like to hear it?
02:28Not really.
02:29I've been corresponding with Tonight Show host Jay Leno.
02:35Seriously?
02:36We share a birthday.
02:38I sent him a card.
02:39He responded.
02:40An unlikely friendship was born.
02:42Please, why would he be friends with you?
02:44Simple.
02:45He's a man of the people.
02:47And I'm people.
02:54I share a birthday with Brant Gumbel.
02:58Oh, come on.
02:59That's cool.
03:10Haven't done this in a while.
03:11Got to take the new credit card out for a spin.
03:14Well, let's not go crazy.
03:16Don't worry.
03:16After tonight, it's back to the dollar menu at Taco Bell.
03:19Hey, I happen to love the dollar menu.
03:21Girl, you better save that sexy talk for when we get home.
03:26And I know how these credit card companies work.
03:28Get people to run up a bill, spend the rest of their life paying off the interest like chumps.
03:33Well, I don't know if I'd call them chumps.
03:36Good thing you learned your lesson.
03:38Mm-hmm.
03:41You okay?
03:42You looking a little sweaty.
03:43Oh, it's a salsa.
03:45It's kind of hot.
03:46My dad taught me real early.
03:48Never a lender or a borrower be.
03:50That's in the Bible.
03:51Oh, that's actually Shakespeare.
03:53Well, that ain't where my dad heard it.
03:56Well, what else did your dad teach you?
03:58That stank.
04:00Oh, you'll like this one.
04:01The secret to find out how your wife's gonna look when she's older is to check out her mother.
04:05Oh, ew.
04:06What?
04:07Your mom's a fox.
04:08That works in your favor.
04:09Oh, here it comes again.
04:11Oh, ew.
04:17Dang.
04:20Right back at you, cowboy.
04:23I'm gonna sleep good tonight.
04:27So you're happy?
04:28The happiest.
04:30Cool.
04:31There's something we need to talk about.
04:33I'm sorry I called your mom hot.
04:35Can we just drop it?
04:36No, it's not that.
04:39Remember that trouble I told you about when I was younger with the credit cards?
04:42Yeah.
04:44And I told you I learned my lesson.
04:47Uh-huh.
04:49It's more of an ongoing lesson.
04:52What do you mean?
04:53Well, it means I still have a little bit of credit card debt.
04:56How much we're talking?
04:59Well, $12,000.
05:03I guess you told him.
05:06Quiet, you're gonna wake the baby.
05:07How could you not tell me?
05:09Because it's my problem.
05:10We're married now.
05:11That makes it our problem.
05:13He only had sex with me to butter me up.
05:16Well, think about how mad you'd be if I didn't.
05:19You should have told me before we got married.
05:21Yeah, well, I was taking care of it.
05:23How?
05:25You just, you send them $20 a month per card and they kind of leave you alone.
05:28How many cards are there?
05:30A couple.
05:31So two.
05:31A few.
05:32So three.
05:32Some.
05:35We've been talking about moving out and getting our own place.
05:37How's that ever gonna happen?
05:38I don't know, but we'll figure it out.
05:39I cannot believe this.
05:42I'm so sorry.
05:43You should be.
05:46Well, let me make it up to you.
05:47No, cut it out.
05:49The Georgia store is closed.
05:54Yeah, I never thought Mandy'd be the one to blow this up.
05:57Me neither.
05:58But I'll take it.
06:05Morning.
06:06Hey.
06:08Sure is humid out there.
06:11Gonna make my hair all frizzy.
06:15You gonna pretend like you didn't hear us fighting last night?
06:17That was my plan, yes.
06:21Did you know about the credit cards?
06:24Uh, yeah.
06:26Didn't think they'd give me a heads up.
06:28Oh, I thought about...
06:30Ooh, cinnamon.
06:31Yum.
06:33Hey, Ruben, let me ask you a question.
06:35If you knew a secret that affected a family member, you'd tell them, right?
06:38What are you pulling him into this for?
06:40I'd like a fresh perspective.
06:41Well?
06:42Well, what kind of secret?
06:44Little white lie or your sister's actually your mom?
06:48That's a thing.
06:49When you're 16, pregnant and Catholic?
06:51Yeah.
06:52Well, his daughter owes a ton of money and he didn't tell me about it.
06:55Ooh, juicy.
06:57How much?
06:57Okay, that's enough.
06:58Let's get back to work.
07:00No, I'd like to hear what he's got to say.
07:01Georgie.
07:02Fine.
07:05That baby even has?
07:08You're on thin ice, pal.
07:09Ah, come on.
07:10I told you about my mom.
07:11Go.
07:20About a minute.
07:22Why?
07:22You gonna kiss me and tell me your mother's her sister?
07:25What?
07:27Never mind.
07:29Here.
07:31What's this?
07:32It's all my credit card bills.
07:33Everything.
07:34MasterCard, American Express, Visa, Discover.
07:38Are there any you don't have?
07:40They came to me.
07:41I didn't go to them.
07:43Whoa.
07:44What's this charge for?
07:46Um, a purse.
07:47Just one?
07:49A really nice one.
07:51I'm assuming it didn't have Velcro.
07:54What about this one?
07:56Uh, that would be shoes.
07:58And this one?
07:59Shoes.
08:00What's the plaza?
08:01Oh, that's a hotel in New York City.
08:03Across the street from a really great shoe store.
08:06You went to New York to buy shoes?
08:08I also saw a taping of Saturday Night Live, which was free.
08:13What's the St. Joseph's Medical Center?
08:15Oh, that, um, that was an emergency room visit.
08:19What happened to you?
08:20It wasn't me.
08:21It was a friend of mine.
08:22What happened to her?
08:24It was him, and he had an accident.
08:27Okay, but why did you pay the bill?
08:29Because he was my boyfriend, and he had no money.
08:31You had no money.
08:33Yeah, but I had the credit card.
08:36Well, did he pay you back?
08:38No.
08:39Well, he's gonna.
08:40Where does he live?
08:40I don't know.
08:41It was a long time ago.
08:42What's his name?
08:43Look, just drop it, okay?
08:44This is my problem.
08:46Once again, it's our problem.
08:47Don't yell at me.
08:48I'm not yelling.
08:49I'm freaking out.
09:01Want a hug?
09:07Sure.
09:16All right.
09:18Thought of a way you could make it up to me.
09:21Georgie, when I found out you knocked up my daughter, I was gonna shoot you.
09:26I didn't.
09:27We're square.
09:30Mandy paid some guy's medical bills.
09:31What's his name?
09:33You're not gonna quit, are you?
09:35St. Joseph's Medical Center.
09:39Oh, that's a chunk of change.
09:40And I'm gonna get it.
09:41What's his name?
09:43Why don't you ask Mandy?
09:44I did.
09:44She won't tell me.
09:47Look, if I tell you, it has to stay secret.
09:51Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.
09:54I'm not on the monkey bars.
09:56Just say you promise.
09:58Promise.
10:04Georgie.
10:07You're a good man.
10:09I try, sir.
10:15So glad I didn't shoot him.
10:27Can I help you?
10:28You know a girl named Mandy McAllister?
10:31I used to.
10:32Why?
10:33You owe her a bunch of money.
10:35Who are you?
10:36I'm her husband.
10:38Oh, damn.
10:38She got married?
10:40I always thought someday we'd have a reconciliation.
10:44Yeah, well, you snooze, you lose.
10:47You're kind of young, ain't you?
10:48I live a healthy lifestyle.
10:50I stay out of the sun.
10:50What are we gonna do about this?
10:52Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to pay her back.
10:55Well, now's your chance.
10:57Come on, then.
11:01You see her mom much?
11:02Why?
11:03I always thought she was kind of hot.
11:06Oh, ew.
11:13You sure you don't want a beer?
11:15Oh, thank you.
11:16Now, how are we gonna handle this money situation?
11:20Simple.
11:20I'll, uh, write you a check.
11:23All right, then.
11:24I appreciate you being cool about this.
11:27Well, making amends is one of the steps of being sober.
11:31Ain't not drinking like step number one.
11:34Oh, yeah.
11:35But that's beer.
11:36That don't count.
11:39You know, Mandy was right to break up with me.
11:41I wasn't in a great place.
11:46Worse than that?
11:47Way worse.
11:49The night she dumped me, I fell down a flight of stairs.
11:51Ouch.
11:52Good thing I was drunk.
11:53Only broke a wrist.
11:54That's what that medical bill was.
11:57Still clicks.
11:58Hear it?
12:00Oh, yeah.
12:01Like a big pin.
12:04Well, anyways.
12:05Here you go.
12:09Are y'all gonna have kids?
12:12We got one.
12:13Little girl.
12:14Oh, well, maybe I can come meet her sometime.
12:16I guess.
12:17Where do you live?
12:19Alabama.
12:22Shoot.
12:22Leaving the state would be a parole violation.
12:25Well, that's a shame.
12:26Good luck to you.
12:33I'm sorry, sir.
12:34This check is no good.
12:36Yeah.
12:37I had a feeling.
12:41Hey.
12:42Hey.
12:43What the hell?
12:43You gave me a bad check.
12:45Yeah, sorry.
12:46Wait here.
12:46I'll get you cash.
13:00You're awful quiet.
13:01Everything all right?
13:03Just tired.
13:04Busy day?
13:06Busy, busy.
13:09Connor, why don't you be a member of this family and join us for once?
13:13I'm good.
13:15Well, I'm not.
13:16Would you like to join me?
13:19No.
13:20Just know you're always welcome.
13:25Just so you know, I'm gonna be working three nights a week at the diner, start chipping
13:28away at those credit cards.
13:29What about Cece?
13:31Amanda and I have already discussed it.
13:33Grandma's on the job.
13:34Well, if I'm around, I can't...
13:35Grandma's got it!
13:38Hey, Mr. McAllister, if you're open to it, I've got some ideas as to how I can be making
13:42more money at the store.
13:43What you thinking?
13:44Well, we got a tow truck that mostly just sits there.
13:48Why ain't we out there rescuing folks with flat tires?
13:50Well, the police always call Fagenbacher's Texaco when someone needs a tow.
13:54I get it.
13:54But what if I were to tell you my Meemaw has some cop friends as a result of her previous
13:59endeavors?
14:01Endeavors?
14:02You mean an illegal gambling room?
14:04We also had a perfectly legal video store to clean the money.
14:08Georgie, where are you going with us?
14:10Don't worry.
14:11Everything will be above board.
14:12We can sponsor the police softball team, make donations to other charity funds.
14:16With what money?
14:17I got a credit card.
14:21You know, it's actually not a terrible idea.
14:24There you go.
14:25Great minds think alike.
14:27As long as I don't have to drive that truck at night, I'm in.
14:31No, sir.
14:31I'll do it.
14:32I'll get a pager.
14:33Be on call 24-7.
14:34What if someone were to accidentally drop a box of nails over on Main Street?
14:41Mom, I'm trying to pay off your credit card, so back off!
14:47I like it.
14:48Keep thinking.
14:50Can someone pass the salt?
14:58You realize with you working nights and me on a tow truck, we might not be seeing a lot
15:03of each other.
15:04I know.
15:05We're a lot of CC.
15:07Well, we'll have a family reunion when we get out of the hole I dug.
15:10Sounds like a plan.
15:14You're really wonderful, Georgie Cooper.
15:16I know.
15:17I am what you call a catch.
15:20Okay, don't get carried away with yourself.
15:21I'm just saying.
15:23For a long time, I thought I was the lucky one in this relationship, but maybe it's you.
15:29Or maybe we're both lucky.
15:31No, I'm pretty sure it's you.
15:33You jerk.
15:39Hey, if it's really important to you, I'll reach out to my ex and I'll try to get the
15:43money back.
15:43Oh, no, no, no.
15:44You don't want that.
15:45Best to leave it in the past.
15:48Okay.
15:49Just promise me.
15:50No more secrets.
15:52I promise.
15:53You sure?
15:54If there's anything you need to tell me, now's the time.
15:59Nothing.
16:01What about you?
16:03Nothing.
16:04What you see is what you get.
16:06Love you.
16:07Love you, too.
16:26Well, this is a sad sight.
16:29What took so long?
16:30Sorry.
16:31Had to fix a couple flats over on Main.
16:33What's the trouble?
16:34I don't know.
16:34I just conked out.
16:35Well, if you buy a foreign car, you take your chances.
16:38It's British.
16:39We're saying the same thing, Governor.
16:44Hey, Georgie.
16:45Oh, hey, Lisa.
16:48Thanks for the call.
16:49Thanks for the softball uniforms.
16:57Oh, what a cute baby.
17:00Thanks.
17:01How old's this little guy?
17:03Just turned one.
17:03Oh, I got a daughter about that age.
17:06She's at home with my mom.
17:07Probably putting her to bed soon.
17:10It's been a while since I missed story time.
17:14Okay, let me tell you the specials.
17:16The soup of the day is tomato.
17:18And we also have a chicken fried steak with a side of mashed potatoes.
17:23You don't want to miss out on the pecan pie.
17:34You have one new message.
17:38Hey, Connor.
17:39Jay Leno here.
17:41Just wanted to say thanks to the care package.
17:43You know, you can never have too many socks.
17:46Anyway, listen.
17:47If you're ever in L.A. and you want to come by and jam with the Tonight Show Band,
17:51the guys would love it.
17:52See ya!
17:52See ya!
17:55Connor!
18:25See ya!
18:26See ya!
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