- 2 days ago
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00:04okay how do I look beautiful as always a little too much cleavage when I'm not
00:10working for tips I'll cover up is that the lesson you want to teach your
00:14daughter are you kidding these are all I am to her hey oh good all right here
00:21you go I thought you're off tonight I was but a shift opened up and despite
00:28appearances we are poor people well I thought we were gonna have some most
00:32time oh well I get off at midnight we can us time then hey I know what us time
00:38means stop it I'll see you later all right what are we doing we want to put
00:48the baby down we play Monopoly Jenga I'm all yours thank you I am suddenly very
00:56tired you can just say no you don't have to pretend to be sleepy okay no how are
01:04you at gin rummy it's been a while you might have to remind me of the rules are
01:11you conning me only one way to find out sure about that
01:37gin you son of a bitch go again oh I am suddenly very tired tired of losing
01:59see oh there's your mama see how hard she's working that's for you you remember that when
02:05you're a teenager and you hate your mother for no good reason other than she's your mother
02:10Georgie hey what are you doing here is everything okay everything's great this one didn't want to
02:15sleep so I thought we'd come pay you visit oh that's sweet but I'm I'm real busy well you sure
02:20I can't buy you some dessert I got eleven dollars from your dad burning a hole in my pocket
02:24what up I gotta go okay see you later whoa that's all you're leaving yeah just so you know you
02:34ain't
02:34just tipping your waitress you're also tipping her baby girl here
02:41oh come on look at this face there we go have a nice night
02:52you
02:58you
03:22hey hey sorry didn't mean to wake you oh it's okay how's work busy feel bad i didn't have time
03:30for you i get it well i got time for you now it's been a while we ain't gonna need
03:38much time
03:41it's my bacon really i showered i ain't complaining i like bacon
03:49oh you're pager i hear it aren't you gonna answer it it's just someone with a broke down car
03:56i ain't going nowhere what if it's an emergency this is an emergency
04:03dang it it's okay i'll be here when you get back great i'll wake you or you know let me
04:09sleep
04:09through it it's fine
04:22thanks charlie
04:26evening miss thank the lord i got a flat tire well good news it's only flat on the bottom
04:34little talk truck camera can you fix it i can change it got a spare i do it's that one
04:40right
04:41there oh well i can tell you back to the shop and get you fixed up in the morning thank
04:46you
04:47it's a nice car you got oh well god is good oh you're one of them
04:56one of them i don't mean nothing but my mom's one of them too
05:01blast with the abundance of god's love yep definitely one of them
05:11you are not what i expected when i called the tow truck
05:14oh you're waiting on a butt crack bubble top
05:18yeah well sorry to disappoint mine is firmly tucked away
05:23so are you mcallister
05:26cooper mcallister's father-in-law
05:29you're married
05:31you look so young
05:33well when you meet the right woman and get her pregnant
05:36you just know
05:39so what about you what kind of job gets you a car like that
05:42oh um i work in real estate but honestly i owe it all to my church
05:48really my mom's church never gave out percedes
05:51once in a while you'd get free pancakes but that's about it
05:55i'm serious i mean i was struggling before i joined my congregation
06:00but now i'm doing great
06:03you know god wants us to be prosperous
06:05all i remember from sunday school is thou shall not have any fun
06:10well maybe you're going to the wrong church
06:13you should check us out
06:15maybe i will
06:16i'm telling you
06:18if you invest in god
06:19he will return that investment temple
06:22how's he with debt
06:23because i got me a few folds of that
06:28oh my goodness cc you're getting so big
06:32she's a texas baby
06:34because you keep sneaking her cookies
06:37i want her to like me
06:40morning
06:40why didn't you wake me
06:42well you got in so late i wanted to give you a break
06:44what did i do to deserve you
06:47this
06:49hey what do you think about coming to church with me on sunday
06:51church you want pancakes just tell me
06:54no this lady i told last night was telling me how her church is all about prosperity and making money
07:00so
07:01so those are two of my favorite things
07:03we're not really church people
07:05how would you say that of course we are
07:08when was the last time we went to church
07:10oh when georgie's father was
07:12i don't recall
07:15this could also be a business opportunity
07:17prosperous folks need tires too
07:19i don't know
07:20hold on let him talk
07:21you're okay with him going to church just to sell tires
07:26yes
07:28you want to come with me
07:30no
07:33andy
07:34well sunday's my one day to sleep in but if you want to go you should go
07:37all right
07:39what about you cc you want to come to church with dad
07:42hands off she's catholic
07:48and here's a free air freshener
07:50has a number right on it
07:51and it smells like apple pie
07:53how about that
08:00money making idea
08:01a little pocket in your underwear that you can slide an air freshener in
08:09hey georgie
08:09you remembered my name
08:12hello
08:14so is my car ready
08:15let me check
08:16yes ma'am it most certainly is
08:19my name's reuben
08:20what's yours
08:21valerie
08:21oh lovely name
08:23valerie you're gonna need brake pads on your vehicle sooner or better than later
08:27thank you
08:28good to know
08:29proger
08:29i got this
08:30i'm just thinking of her safety
08:32don't you need to call your wife or something
08:33he's married
08:35i know i'm actually hoping to meet her at church this sunday
08:38church
08:38yeah
08:40too much work
08:44sorry about that
08:45he's alone a lot back there
08:48so will i see you on sunday
08:50yeah i think you will
08:53might be solo
08:54my wife's not real interested
08:55oh
08:56too bad
08:57but
08:57i will be glad to see you
08:59oh
09:00and i'll be glad to see you
09:02in a
09:03churchly fashion
09:04before i forget
09:05free air freshener
09:08apple
09:09the fruit of temptation
09:11hang on
09:12i got a mango in here somewhere
09:19you look nice
09:21thanks
09:24last chance to come to church with me
09:26sorry
09:27today's a strict no bra day
09:30i feel a little weird
09:31the only time i ever wore this was my dad's funeral
09:34well i'm sure you'd be glad to know you're getting your money's worth
09:36he was thrifty
09:37you know he's the one who taught me shampoo is really just liquid soap
09:41you can wash your hair with a bar of ivory spring
09:43same deal
09:45is that why your hair smells like that
09:46when you first met me
09:48yeah
09:49now i'm a zest man
09:58welcome
09:58thank you
09:59is this your first time with us
10:01yes ma'am
10:02well we are so glad to have you
10:04oh
10:04okay
10:06welcome welcome welcome
10:08thank you thank you thank you
10:12georgie
10:13welcome
10:14oh
10:15y'all are a huggy bunch
10:17come here
10:18there's someone i want you to meet
10:21reverend
10:21this is georgie cooper
10:22travis lemon
10:24how are you doing on this glorious sunday
10:26depends
10:27you got pancakes
10:28better
10:29we got waffles
10:30the shape of texas
10:32praise the lord
10:34i got a flat tire the other night
10:36and georgie rescued me
10:37i'm a good samaritan
10:39isn't that something
10:40it's my job
10:41so maybe just a regular samaritan
10:44georgie drives a tow truck
10:45and works at a tire shop
10:46when do you find the time to sleep
10:48i don't
10:49so what happens during your sermon
10:51don't take it personally
10:53hard worker
10:54god rewards that
10:55speaking of which
10:56i couldn't help but notice
10:58you had some church vans out there
10:59with bald tires
11:00i'd be happy to take care of that for you
11:02oh yeah
11:03this is the church for you
11:05let's talk after the service
11:08i told you
11:09you're not even here five minutes
11:10and you're already prospering
11:11yes i am
11:13i'm so happy for you
11:15okay more hugging
11:24remember when you wanted to be a dallas cowboy cheerleader
11:27there's still time
11:29there is
11:32yeah and i'm gonna be an aerobics instructor
11:36hey
11:37hey how was church
11:38great
11:39i met the reverend
11:40real nice guy
11:41feel more prosperous
11:43actually i do
11:44mccallister auto is now the exclusive tire store for all the church buses and vans
11:49you're kidding
11:50tires, brakes, alignment, the works
11:52in fact i gave him a ridiculously high price
11:55then knocked 10% off
11:57he was thrilled
11:59how can you not love this kid
12:01he hustled a reverend
12:04exactly
12:06now i think it's time we up your compensation
12:08we already give them free room, board, and child care
12:11yeah but with the tow truck he's working day and night
12:14well he volunteered jim
12:15cause he's a go-getter
12:17well then he can go get another job
12:21should we jump in here
12:22no stay out of it
12:23this is how i got a car
12:24giving him a cut
12:25only motivates him to make more
12:27keeping him hungry motivates him more
12:30now you see that is the kind of thing that makes communism appealing
12:33you sure we shouldn't jump in?
12:35shh we're close
12:36did you just call me a communist?
12:39i'm just saying a good american would pay him what he's worth
12:41there it is
12:42fine, pay him whatever you want
12:46and that's how i got a jip jerky
12:54i see what's going on
12:56i get a raise
12:57you can't keep your hands off of me
12:59you got a problem with that?
13:01no, you're right
13:02i'm way more sexy
13:06well, i'm really proud of you
13:07you know, there's a bible study, wednesday
13:11you wanna come?
13:12oh, wow, we really need to work on your dirty talk
13:16sorry
13:17i just think you really might like it
13:19thanks, but
13:20i don't need to watch you sell tires to a bunch of bible thumpers
13:25it ain't about that
13:26it's actually kind of working
13:29what are you talking about?
13:30well, i'm making more money and you wanna have day sex
13:32that's everything i've ever prayed for
13:35please don't tell me you think that's because of the church
13:38i don't know
13:39maybe
13:40i'm just saying
13:41a lot of what they preach makes sense
13:42oh, you're starting to sound like your mom
13:45what the heck's that supposed to mean?
13:47oh, calm down
13:47i love her, but
13:48you know, when it comes to the church
13:50she's a little bit of a
13:52a little bit of a what?
13:54hang on, i'm trying to think of a word that isn't nut job
13:58nut job?
13:59if i were you, i wouldn't start comparing moms
14:02what's that mean?
14:03hang on, i'm trying to think of a word that isn't bitch
14:07where you going? i thought we were gonna fool around
14:08pray for it, see what happens
14:15hey, still waiting on them breaks
14:17you want them done fast or you want them done right?
14:19i want them done now
14:21aww, like a baby lion practicing his roar
14:25i ain't in the mood, reuben
14:27meow
14:29quit it
14:30trouble at home?
14:32why find out about the hot church lady?
14:34no
14:35keeping her a secret
14:36smart
14:37i don't care about her
14:39care about who?
14:40the woman who invited me to church
14:42the hot woman
14:44be watch hot
14:46care to explain?
14:47yeah, she's attractive
14:48muy fuego
14:51but it don't matter
14:52because we're just friends
14:53so you're not doing something dumb?
14:55oh, i do dumb stuff all the time
14:57just not this
14:58well, be careful
15:00i own the timeshare in florida
15:02because the sales lady looked like raquel welch
15:05i don't know who that is
15:07oh, she was a knockout
15:09had curves in all the right places
15:12she wore this fur bikini in a movie, man
15:14i still think about it
15:18fur bikini?
15:19was she cold?
15:21get back to work
15:25curves in all the right places
15:27dude is old
15:33will georgie be joining us for dinner?
15:36uh, no, he's at bible study
15:38oh
15:39i do hope he isn't turning into his mother
15:43that is a terrible thing to say
15:45no matter how hard we fight it
15:47at some point we all turn into our parents
15:50yeah, well
15:51i'm turning into dad
15:53too late, blondie
15:56you got something to say
15:57just say it
15:57i just think georgie
15:59should be using
16:00what little free time he has
16:01to be with his wife and daughter
16:05i don't disagree
16:06so you agree?
16:07that's not what i said
16:09if your father was doing something
16:11that made me uncomfortable
16:12i would make sure he knew about it
16:15god, i am turning into you
16:18no, it's not a good thing
16:21where are you going?
16:22tell my husband
16:23i love and support him
16:24no matter what he chooses to do
16:25i think that's a mistake
16:27yeah, that's why i'm doing it
16:31thank you father
16:32for your many blessings
16:34and let our prosperity
16:35be a glory to you
16:37and a beacon
16:38that brings others to your life
16:40amen
16:40amen
16:43georgie, you've been awful quiet
16:44is there anything you'd like to say
16:46before we wrap it up?
16:48oh, uh, yeah
16:51i would like to thank you all
16:52for being so welcoming
16:53i haven't been hugged this much
16:55since i was on the high school wrestling team
16:59oh, before i forget
17:01here's my business card
17:02mccallister auto
17:03we offer 24-hour towing
17:05and all your tire needs
17:07just give them this card
17:08and you'll get 10% off
17:10our already low, low prices
17:13is that it?
17:15oh
17:16amen
17:21here, let me give you a hand
17:23oh, thanks
17:26so
17:27what'd you think of bible study?
17:29it's hard to believe
17:29but
17:30i liked it
17:31why is that hard to believe?
17:33well, it's got the words
17:33bible and study
17:34right there in the name
17:37well
17:38i'm glad you enjoyed it
17:40god wanting me to succeed
17:41is
17:41kind of comforting
17:43if i tell you something
17:45i think my flat tire
17:46was no accident
17:48what are you saying?
17:49you put a nail in your own tire?
17:51i think god did it
17:52to bring you here
17:54well, if that's true
17:55glad he did
17:57me too
18:00whoa
18:00i'm a married man
18:01you sure are
18:05move
18:09let's go, married man
18:11you saw me pull away, right?
18:13silly reason
18:13you're still standing
18:21call for a tow?
18:26gotta go
18:28gotta go
18:30I'm not
18:30oh
18:31oh
18:31I'm not
18:53I'm not
18:56I'm not
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