- 2 days ago
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00:05You know, now that CeCe's starting to walk, we should think about baby-proofing this place.
00:09We didn't baby-proof the house for you or your brother, and you both lived.
00:14Have you forgotten that Connor stuck a butter knife in an outlet?
00:18And he lived. Your point?
00:21Might explain the way he is.
00:23You mean my electric personality?
00:28Hey!
00:28Hey!
00:29Brought dinner.
00:31Ooh, meat lovers. What's the occasion?
00:33Well, thanks to your husband, we're handling all the auto business for the high school.
00:36I'm bringing home the bacon and the sausage and the pepperoni.
00:41All of their tires, huh? I'm impressed.
00:45Butt.
00:46No butts. Way to go.
00:48Still feels like there's a butt coming.
00:50You feel it? I feel it, too.
00:52You two are impossible.
00:54See, that feels better.
00:56Got a pretty hefty commission check coming your way.
00:59We sure need it, given our ginormous credit card debt.
01:02You mean my ginormous credit card debt?
01:04I was trying to be nice.
01:06Try harder.
01:08Your ginormous credit card debt does not diminish my love for you.
01:13That is nicer.
01:18I was thinking, how about we take some of my commission and go have a fancy dinner somewhere?
01:22No, that's okay. We don't have to.
01:25You sure? Celebrate that we're finally making some money.
01:27You're making some money.
01:29You're mad about that?
01:31Of course not.
01:32Because that'd be a weird thing to be mad about.
01:35Yeah, well, I'm not.
01:36Good.
01:38Yeah, I'm really proud of you.
01:42Probably a nicer way to say it.
01:44Okay, fine. It pisses me off.
01:46There we go.
01:47It just makes me feel like I'm not contributing anything.
01:51Honey, it ain't a competition.
01:52Yes, it is, and I'm losing.
01:56You want me to earn less?
01:58Look, I went to college.
01:59I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in communications.
02:01I should be making more than you.
02:04Well, what's stopping you?
02:07Oh, come on.
02:09Put that diploma to you.
02:10Talk to me.
02:52Can I get you anything else?
02:54Tea's fine.
02:56You sure? Slice a pie?
02:59What kind of pie you got?
03:01Apple, pecan, lemon meringue.
03:05Nah, I get my pie from the Waffle House.
03:09Right.
03:13I could use some more hot water.
03:23Can I get you another teabag?
03:25You gonna charge me for it?
03:27Yes.
03:30Water's fine.
03:35You charged for lemon?
03:37No.
03:48You know, I went to college.
03:58We'll be back with more of today's hits right after this.
04:02Do you feel like your potential isn't being maximized?
04:05Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
04:07Could you use some extra money?
04:09Does a bear crap in the woods?
04:12Would you like to be your own boss?
04:13I don't care.
04:14Just say how to do it!
04:21So, it's basically selling vitamins and diet shakes and health bars,
04:25and I can make my own schedule so I can keep my job at the diner,
04:28and I can still be here for CeCe.
04:30Have you ever worked in sales?
04:32No, but how hard can it be selling diet stuff to Texans?
04:35Everybody's chunky.
04:37Okay, when do you start?
04:40Well, here's the thing.
04:41You know that old saying,
04:43you gotta spend money to make money?
04:46Uh-huh.
04:48Well, there you go.
04:49How much?
04:51Well, obviously I'd make it back real fast.
04:53How much?
04:54And keep in mind, sales is all about communication,
04:56and what do I have a degree in?
04:59Are you gonna tell me or not?
05:01It's $1,200.
05:04That's my whole commission from the school account.
05:06Meant to be, huh?
05:09Just so I'm clear,
05:10are you competing with me,
05:11or are we on the same team?
05:12How can you even ask that?
05:14Of course we're on the same team.
05:15Okay, let's do it.
05:17Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
05:19Just a word of warning,
05:20sales is not as easy as you think.
05:22It's not?
05:23I just got you to fork over $1,200.
05:26God, I am so turned on right now.
05:36Hi, I'm Mandy McAllister.
05:39I'm the Nouveau Trim sales rep in this area.
05:41I just wanted to introduce myself
05:42and see if you had a few minutes
05:43to hear about our exciting products.
05:45How'd you get in this building?
05:47Oh, well, I waited until somebody was coming out of the...
06:01Hi, I'm Mandy McAllister.
06:03I'm the Nouveau Trim sales rep in this area.
06:05I just wrapped things up with your neighbor and...
06:06Which neighbor?
06:08Well, right next door.
06:09Joan gave you money?
06:10She owes me money.
06:12Well, I don't really know about...
06:13Joan!
06:15Joan!
06:17Why are you buying crap from this bimbo
06:19when you owe me for the lotto tickets?
06:21I know you're in there.
06:23Joan!
06:26Hi, I'm Mandy McAllister.
06:28I'm the Nouveau Trim sales rep in this...
06:32Hi, I'm Mandy McAllister.
06:35Hi, I'm Mandy...
06:40I didn't even say anything!
06:43Thanks!
06:48Hey.
06:49Hey.
06:50Can I make you a plate?
06:51Sure.
06:57So, how'd it go?
07:00Great.
07:01Just great.
07:02It's important to keep in mind
07:03selling is like an art.
07:05It takes time to learn that...
07:07Somebody else talk.
07:10Yeah, when I was young,
07:12I tried selling door-to-door.
07:14It was rough.
07:15Yeah?
07:15How young?
07:16Oh, real young.
07:1716.
07:19So, three years ago?
07:21That's a big chunk of my life.
07:24The point is, is I got better.
07:26Good for you.
07:28I'll see why you stop talking.
07:32Relax, okay?
07:32I'm not mad at you.
07:34Great.
07:35So, you're gonna pack it in?
07:36Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
07:39No, we'd be out 1,200 bucks.
07:41You'd be out 1,200 bucks?
07:42Well, I thought we were on the same team.
07:44We are.
07:45You spent $1,200 to sell diet food to Texans?
07:51Georgie thought it was a good idea.
07:53I was trying to be supportive.
07:55What?
07:55So, you were lying?
07:56I was supporting.
08:00Okay, no sense throwing blame around.
08:03So, if you're not gonna quit,
08:04what's the plan?
08:07Well, door-to-door's a waste of time.
08:09I need to set up someplace people come to me.
08:12Maybe in front of a grocery store or something.
08:15A lot of foot traffic.
08:16People feeling guilty about junk food.
08:18That's smart.
08:18Yeah, that's why I said it.
08:21Go team.
08:26You know, I was thinking maybe we should buy some of Mandy's diet crap.
08:29You know, get her started.
08:30Really?
08:32Have you forgotten the Girl Scout cookies?
08:34The crying?
08:35The tantrums?
08:37Daddy, nobody buys my cookies!
08:41She ended up selling a bunch.
08:43To you.
08:45Oh, like you don't enjoy a thin mint out of the freezer.
08:49She's not a little girl anymore.
08:51You can't keep coddling her.
08:53You coddle Connor, what's the difference?
08:55He's a late bloomer.
08:57He's 26.
09:00He bloomed.
09:02This is the bloom.
09:04You know very well he requires a little extra love.
09:08He requires a swift kick in the ass.
09:11You don't mean that.
09:12You could at least make him chip in around the house.
09:15You know, maybe do his own laundry.
09:16That seems fair.
09:19Really?
09:20Yeah.
09:22Yeah.
09:23What?
09:25I wasn't prepared to win an argument.
09:28You want to tell him?
09:30I kind of do.
09:32Go for it.
09:36Hey, uh, just so we're clear, I'm going to tell him we agreed on this.
09:40I don't want him coming to you and playing us against each other.
09:42Smart.
09:43All right.
09:46Oh, what if he gives me a hard time?
09:48Then he will have dirty clothes.
09:51Consequences.
09:52That's good.
09:58Hi, would you like to sample one of our delicious diet shakes or nutrition bars?
10:02Okay, maybe on the way out.
10:05Hi, ma'am, would you like to sample one of our delicious diet shakes?
10:09Not that I think you're fat.
10:11Because I don't.
10:14Hey.
10:16Hey, what are you doing here?
10:17Well, just wanted to come check in on my favorite sales lady.
10:20How's it going?
10:21Good.
10:22Uh, passing out samples, getting people excited about the product.
10:25Oh, excuse me.
10:26May I interest you in a free sample of a...
10:30I'm a person, I have feelings!
10:34Hey, maybe instead of just launching right into your sales pitch, you try to find something
10:38personal you can connect about.
10:40I got this, Georgie.
10:43Watch this.
10:44Hook them horns!
10:45Hell yeah!
10:46That game against A&M, they got robbed.
10:49100%?
10:50What's all this?
10:51A scientifically designed diet system.
10:54Here, try one.
10:56Not only tastes great, it's developed by doctors to help you drop weight jiffy quick.
11:01I could probably lose a few.
11:03How much?
11:04Normally $15, but we're having a special.
11:07Two for $20.
11:07Well, then give me two.
11:11Get ready to wear smaller clothes, my friend.
11:15See you at the beach.
11:18Look at that, your first sale.
11:31How's it going?
11:32Fine.
11:35You know how to use the fabric softeners and whatnot.
11:39There's instructions on the bottle.
11:41Right.
11:43Good for you.
11:46So all these years your mother did your laundry, you were perfectly capable of doing it yourself?
11:50Yes.
11:53Why didn't you ever do it?
11:54No one asked me.
11:58So if I asked you to clean the bathroom, do the dishes, take out the garbage, you would?
12:03Yes.
12:07Okay.
12:08Well, then, do those things.
12:12Okay.
12:18This is crazy.
12:23Oh, come on.
12:24You were right there.
12:25Yeah, watching you do it for me.
12:27I was just trying to help.
12:28Well, I didn't ask for your help.
12:29What's going on?
12:31My husband thinks I'm an idiot.
12:32No, I don't.
12:33You just think I suck at sales.
12:35Which don't make you an idiot.
12:37He's right.
12:38Which don't.
12:41Mandy, selling is in my blood.
12:42It's what I do.
12:43Why can't you just let me help you?
12:45Because I wanted to do it on my own.
12:47That's just crazy.
12:48If I was trying to be a waitress in a diner, I'd ask you for help.
12:52Now, see that right there?
12:53That is what an idiot sounds like.
13:02Georgie?
13:03Miss Hutchins?
13:04You quit working at the high school?
13:06No, I do both.
13:08This one for the money, high school librarian for the glamour.
13:13What brings you by?
13:14I'm kind of looking for a book on relationships.
13:17My wife and I are having a bit of a spat.
13:19You're married?
13:21I got a baby, too.
13:23Oh, you knocked her up.
13:24That makes more sense.
13:27Speaking of making sense,
13:28you got any books that explain women or marriage or whatever it is I did wrong?
13:32Oh, I have just the thing.
13:35You married?
13:37Me?
13:38Oh, I'm too busy having fun to settle down.
13:45Try this.
13:47Men are from Mars.
13:48Women are from Venus.
13:50That explains a lot.
13:52Have you read it?
13:54Several times.
13:55Did it work?
13:57Yes.
13:58My love life is fantastic.
14:01Do you want the book or not?
14:03Sure.
14:05I'm young and married.
14:07You're old and alone.
14:08It's funny how things work out.
14:12Hilarious.
14:18Did you put the dishes away?
14:20Connor did.
14:22Oh.
14:22Oh.
14:26Don't forget tomorrow's garbage day.
14:28Connor took the cans down.
14:31Oh.
14:33Good.
14:35Bathroom's clean.
14:36Attaboy!
14:39What did you say to him?
14:41I just asked.
14:44I don't know how I feel about this.
14:48What's the problem?
14:49I guess I'm just used to taking care of him.
14:52Oh.
14:53Because he's your baby boy?
14:55Yeah.
14:56Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can always take care of me.
14:59No, it's not the same.
15:02Brought you a fresh one, Dad.
15:03Thank you, son.
15:09It's a tough night for you, huh?
15:13Oh.
15:14She's adorable.
15:16Oh, thank you.
15:18Don't you love being a mom?
15:19I do.
15:21She's everything to me.
15:22But there are some days where I feel like all I am is Cece's mom.
15:26And that is not enough.
15:28I have more to offer the world than changing diapers and blending bananas.
15:32I get that.
15:34You want to know something?
15:36I just took a sales job.
15:38Not because I needed it, but because I wanted something I could call my own.
15:42And my husband, bless his dumb redneck heart, swooped in and took it away from me.
15:47They think they can fix everything.
15:49Why don't they get us?
15:51Because they're self-sinner sons of bitches.
15:53You got that right.
15:55So, what are you selling?
15:57Oh, it doesn't matter.
15:59Yes, it does.
16:00It matters very much.
16:02Oh, uh, well, diet shakes, vitamins, nutrition bars.
16:07I could probably lose a little bit of the baby weight.
16:10Oh, well, don't say that.
16:11You're beautiful.
16:13Fifteen dollars a box, two for twenty.
16:15I'll take two.
16:17Same here.
16:18I'll take eight.
16:19Okay, hang on.
16:19Let me write this down.
16:26Hello.
16:27Hey, how'd her checkup go?
16:29Great, good.
16:30She might need glasses.
16:31More importantly, I made a ton of sales, and I did it all by myself.
16:34That's amazing.
16:35You're darn right.
16:36It's amazing.
16:38What's that?
16:40Men are from Mars.
16:41Women are from Venus.
16:42You're kidding.
16:44I ain't really.
16:45It's just a metaphor.
16:48Yeah, I got it.
16:49Uh, why are you reading it?
16:51Well, I'm trying to be a better husband.
16:54You'd do that for me?
16:56I'd do anything for you.
16:58I didn't think that included reading a book.
17:01Not just any book.
17:03A long-ass boring one.
17:05Yeah, well, what'd you learn?
17:07Well, in a nutshell, all you gals want is to be heard and have your feelings validated.
17:12Huh.
17:13All us gals.
17:15Sorry.
17:15All you girls.
17:17Ladies.
17:20Well, I know it ain't chicks.
17:22Well, what about all you fellas?
17:24Well, that's interesting.
17:25Turns out men are problem solvers.
17:28We like to fix stuff.
17:29But here's where it gets tricky.
17:30Y'all don't want us to fix stuff.
17:32You just want to complain.
17:41Whatever you're feeling, I acknowledge it.
17:58Hi.
17:59I told you I don't want what you're selling.
18:01I know.
18:01And I'm not selling.
18:03I just came by to apologize.
18:05For what?
18:07Well, this is hard for me.
18:09But I was trying to prove to my husband that I'm more than just a mom.
18:13But maybe I'm kidding myself.
18:14I mean, maybe that's all I am.
18:16I had a husband like that.
18:18So you understand.
18:19I mean, no matter how hard you work, you're always the junior partner in the relationship.
18:23Second class citizen.
18:25Exactly.
18:27Anyway, I'll leave you alone.
18:28I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for bothering you.
18:34Hang on.
18:36Tell me about what you're selling.
18:39Oh, I'm just so glad you asked.
19:02Bye.
19:03Bye.
19:05Bye.
19:06Bye.
19:08Bye.
19:11Bye.
19:11Bye.
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