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00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:42CastingWords
01:06CastingWords
01:33CastingWords
01:34Please be seated.
01:41We have all gathered here to witness the joining of these two beloved souls.
01:49It has been said that love is patient, love is kind.
01:53And, but I have found it to be much more life-threatening than that.
02:00When we first fall in love, we become soft.
02:04And in our softness, we are stabbed all the way through the chest.
02:09That's love.
02:11It's a metal rod through the heart, piercing you.
02:17Every day, you hope that that rod isn't ripped out, but like any risk, it's the thrill that
02:27makes it all worthwhile.
02:30To love fully, one must offer themselves up.
02:33The most important decision is who you trust to hold the other end of that metal rod.
02:40And now the couple has decided to write their own vows.
02:44Rachel, we'll start with you first.
02:53Nicky, falling for you was so easy and it happened so fast.
02:58Our first date was in a rental car and lasted four days.
03:06Four days, four days, and I remember thinking, I never want to get out of this car and four
03:19days is now forever.
03:29I spent my life trying to arm myself against bad luck, always in pursuit of certainty, but
03:45as we know, this week has put us through the fucking ringer.
03:48Sorry, put us through the ringer and through it all, I realized that you can't rely on certainty
04:03because there is no certainty in marriage, in love, in anything.
04:09The only certainty in life is death.
04:17The only certainty in life is death.
04:29The only certainty in life is death.
04:46The only certainty in life is death.
04:46So fuck certainty.
05:01I have nothing to worry about because you, you are my good luck, Charm.
05:09You have always always always been my good luck turn
05:15It's true
05:17So
05:20I vow Mickey
05:23To see you truly as you have done for me, and I promise to
05:31Believe in you and believe in us
05:38Because that it that's really what this this is. It's
05:43It's a leap of faith that we don't know what's gonna happen, but we believe it's gonna work out
05:52And I I believe you are my soulmate
06:05So wherever we're going wherever we're going
06:10I never want to get out of this rental car
06:17Okay, okay, Nicky your turn yeah, okay
06:23I wrote mine down
06:25Um
06:28Rachel
06:30Um, I wish I went first. That's tough. That is tough to follow
06:36Okay, Rachel as you could see from the second you got here. I grew up in a household where marriage
06:43was
06:45Highly regarded so of course when you told me two weeks into our relationship that you'd never get married. I
06:53thought
06:54She was the one
06:55She was the one
06:57But really I never had to
06:59Interrogate if you were the one because
07:02I was just new
07:05And after spending one hour with you
07:09I thought to myself I hope
07:12Every hour is like this
07:14And if I don't spend the rest of my life with her
07:17It's because I fucked up really badly
07:21I made a vow to myself
07:23Not to fuck it up really badly so that I could stand at an altar one day
07:27Making vows to you
07:31So here we are
07:35I promise to always give you my love
07:40My time
07:41My understanding
07:44I promise to be a non-judgmental partner
07:48In whatever adventures you seek
07:51I
07:52promise
07:53To stand beside you always
07:56Even in times of disagreement
07:58There is nothing in the world that matters more to me
08:02than you
08:04And I won't let anything get between us
08:10That was beautiful
08:11That was beautiful, both of you
08:15Okay, now for the big moment
08:17Yeah, the rings please
08:21There you go
08:22That's for you
08:25That's for you
08:27Oh, I'm shaking
08:30Okay
08:32Rachel Alexander Harkin
08:34Do you take Nicholas Summer Cunningham
08:36To be your lawfully wedded husband
08:38To have and to hold
08:40In sickness and in health
08:42Till death do you part
08:52I do
09:06Nicholas Summer Cunningham
09:08Do you take Rachel Alexandra Harkin
09:11To be your lawfully wedded wife
09:13To have and to hold
09:14In sickness and in health
09:16Until death do you part
09:35As simple as I do is all I need to say
09:37I, uh
09:39I, uh
09:40I, uh
09:41I, uh
09:41I, uh
09:41I, uh
09:43I, uh
09:44I wrote these
09:44These vows
09:46A week ago and they don't quite feel
09:55Because you're, you're, you're right
09:58This week
09:59It put us through the ringer and everything I thought I knew
10:05About, about love and marriage
10:07It's changed
10:08It's changed
10:09It's all changed
10:09And I, I, I understand you now better than I ever have before
10:14I, I see now what you were saying
10:18What are you doing?
10:19Marriage destroys people
10:22And it was already starting to get to us
10:24And you know what?
10:26I, uh
10:28I don't want our relationship to change
10:31Nick you stick to this girl
10:32Are you doing it?
10:32Marriage has been a
10:33Poison
10:34No
10:34Marriage is going to stop
10:35Okay
10:36I got it
10:37It's been a poison
10:38In my family
10:39And I just
10:41I pushed you here
10:43What you didn't want
10:44What are you doing?
10:45Rachel
10:45All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you
10:50But I don't want us to be like them
10:53I want us to have the privilege
10:56Genuinely choosing each other every day like we, we always have
11:02The rental car is taking a hard left
11:04Far away from here
11:06She's on the car
11:07Mickey
11:08Look at me
11:08Look at me
11:10Marry
11:10Marry me
11:11Marry me
11:12You have to marry me
11:13Right now
11:15I'm freeing us from the institution
11:16Are you fucking serious?
11:18Rachel
11:18Are you fucking serious?
11:20This is what you want
11:22I'm serious
11:23I'm serious
11:23Oh my god he's serious
11:24Why don't we just give a couple some time to sort things out
11:26Rachel
11:27No
11:28Everybody just stay quick
11:30Rachel
11:31Hey
11:37Let's just get the keys in the car and drive
11:39Fuck all this
11:40Tell me you're not serious
11:41I'm so sorry I pushed us here
11:43I'm fixing it
11:43Hey this week has been kind of a nightmare
11:44Oh my god
11:45And what if it was a vision of our future
11:47And I'm not gonna let that happen to us
11:48My god of course this week was a nightmare
11:49Nikki it's the week of our wedding
11:50What do you think the week of a wedding is?
11:53You were supposed to take the leap of faith with me
11:55I did
11:56I did
11:56That's what I was doing
11:57No
11:57That was you hiding behind a philosophy
11:59And fearing the future based on other people's bad decisions
12:02I was the one putting my confidence in us
12:05I'm doing the same thing
12:06Oh how is this the same thing?
12:08You just agreed that all that matters is us
12:10I'm looking out for us
12:11How?
12:12I just refuted my family's whole value system for you
12:14But I didn't ask you to
12:16Okay but Rachel I know you never wanted to get married
12:19And now I see it and I finally understand why
12:22You have to marry me
12:23Rachel
12:24No we have to get married
12:25Rachel you've literally always said you never wanted to get married
12:28Yeah that was before any there was a fucking marriage curse tied to my bloodline
12:30And actually if you hadn't proposed to me we'd be fine
12:33And it's not your fault
12:34Okay it is not your fault
12:35You didn't know I didn't know
12:37But now we know and now we have to get married
12:40That's not a reason to get married
12:43It should be because we love each other and we believe in that
12:46I know but that's not the fucking situation that we're in now
12:57Oh my god
12:58Why are you doing this now?
13:02What the fuck Nicky?
13:04Why are you doing this now?
13:06Why are you doing this now?
13:16Yeah more more more yeah that yeah thank you
13:20That's how much everyone should be getting everyone even the minors that one's for you
13:23He was in crisis Victoria
13:24He was looking to me for guidance and I had to be honest
13:31How was I supposed to know he was going to react like that?
13:34Because he idolizes us
13:36He thinks we have the perfect marriage
13:39We do
13:43He ruined my relationship with my son
13:46I will never have the chance to regain his trust
13:50No no he loves you
13:52You took away my ending
13:53Wait come back
13:55Victoria
13:58Honey what happened out there?
14:00Are you okay with this?
14:02Is Nicky okay?
14:04What do we do?
14:04Oh this is just a little silly disagreement
14:07They will be
14:08Could someone do the rounds?
14:10I don't want anyone thirsty
14:11Cheers
14:12Cheers
14:14Like you mean it
14:15Mommy hi
14:16I'm keeping the energy out
14:24Why'd you even propose to me then?
14:27If I've always said I didn't want to get married
14:29All it took was you finding out that your parents' marriage isn't perfect
14:33That's what you needed
14:34To do the thing that I've been saying I wanted since the day we met
14:39I could have told you an hour into knowing them Nicky that your parents don't have the marriage you vitalized
14:43your whole life
14:44Your mother is lovely yes but she's also a narcissist and your father is a broken romantic who's looking for
14:49something to stuff the rest of himself into so their marriage only works because he reveres her and she needs
14:55to be revered
14:55He's completely consumed by her and still he's not enough for her so they're both empty and it's depressing to
15:01watch
15:01Thanks Rachel
15:02Yeah
15:03Thanks
15:04Thank you
15:04So I guess we both don't want to end up
15:07Like your parents
15:08And um just to be clear in that scenario I'm the romantic and you're the narcissist
15:17Oh that's nice
15:19Yeah no that does make sense actually because our whole relationship revolves around you
15:25Okay
15:26It's always me reassuring you that everything's okay even when there's literally nothing going on
15:33Because you think something's always out to get you so I'm always tiptoeing around your sensitivities because you can't handle
15:41anything
15:42I get it
15:42Not even one day with my family without me there constantly reassuring you
15:48Every little thing is just an exhausting puzzle with you nothing is easy
15:54You're a really hard person to love
15:56I know
15:59Okay I know
16:05Is that what you want to hear?
16:06My neighbor?
16:10You're a really good person
16:21They're going to come back
16:22Who did you?
16:23Who did you?
16:23no I will
16:24What are you?
16:24We're so pleased
16:26Cheers everyone
16:27It's okay
16:28Cheers
16:30It was me
16:31Oh, it was me.
16:33It was me.
16:34Oh, it was me.
16:34Should we leave?
16:35Oh, of course she said this.
16:36Lord is going to resume something.
16:44Why'd you say yes then?
16:47When I proposed, why'd you say yes?
16:50Because, because I knew how much it meant to you.
16:52And I, and I, I loved you.
16:54And you're like the only person
17:01who could have gotten me here.
17:03You loved me.
17:08Do you not love me anymore?
17:12No, go away.
17:13I want to know her answer.
17:15Portia, get the fire.
17:16Mom wants you two back in there
17:17kissing and smiling
17:18like you didn't just slap her in the face
17:19in front of her whole bloodline
17:20and everyone in this world she loves and respects.
17:22Okay, goodbye.
17:23Yeah, your hands are smiling.
17:24Goodbye, goodbye.
17:31Yes, Nikki, of course I love you still.
17:35Okay, and one of the things
17:36that I love the most about you
17:38is that you are a rock,
17:39you are consistent, you are stable
17:41and you don't do things
17:42like dump me at the altar.
17:44I wasn't breaking up with you.
17:46I was saving us.
17:47Oh, good.
17:48Yeah.
17:49Do you think it worked?
17:52If you really wanted to save us,
17:54you would have said I do up there
17:56because I had everything under control, okay?
17:59I had to go through a lot
18:01to get up there and say yes
18:04with confidence.
18:06And if you don't marry me by sundown,
18:09the curse spreads to you and your family.
18:11So, you know, actually,
18:14I was saving you.
18:17Oh, my God, Rachel.
18:19What?
18:20What do you mean, what?
18:23Why are you acting shocked?
18:31Run away, bride.
18:32It's a classic.
18:35Hi, guys.
18:37So cute.
18:38So cute.
18:41Fuck, I can't log it over.
18:43Are you shaking?
18:44I'm shaking with it.
18:46I don't want to say it,
18:48but you owe me $50 each.
18:50Oh, my gosh.
18:51You guys made a bet?
18:52Yeah.
18:53After the rehearsal dinner,
18:54it seemed like a safe bet.
18:55Come on, pass it over.
18:56Technically, the bet was about her calling.
18:57They might still work it out.
18:59You too.
18:59You too?
19:00What?
19:01I like money.
19:02You lost the bet.
19:06So, it's actually encrusted with rhinestones,
19:08not diamonds,
19:09but the back is custom.
19:10Please don't touch.
19:11It's fragile.
19:13Ah.
19:18What the fuck was he thinking?
19:21I don't know.
19:23And she didn't drink, though.
19:24I don't know.
19:36What I'm saying is that from my perspective,
19:40you've been extra on edge since we got here,
19:43and then you told me something bad was going to happen,
19:46and then you started talking about curses.
19:50So, can't you see why it made sense to me
19:53that you'd be into the idea of us not getting married?
19:58Like, all of that stuff coming up before our wedding,
20:01it had to be caused in part by, like,
20:04the pressure or something.
20:05Sorry, Nikki, stop.
20:07What?
20:09Do you not believe in the curse?
20:11Marriage is the curse.
20:13I'm absolving us from that.
20:14Oh, my God.
20:15No, Nikki.
20:17The curse is the curse.
20:18The absolution was us getting married.
20:21Do you think that I, like, made this up?
20:23I don't think you made it up.
20:24I just...
20:25What?
20:26Tell me what it is.
20:27What?
20:29What is it?
20:30Like, a fear of commitment or a stress?
20:33No, I...
20:33I just...
20:35What?
20:35I think both of us have been cursed
20:40in our own ways by, like, the systems that raised us.
20:44Oh, my God.
20:45And by not getting married, we are fixing that.
20:47So when I say that I will die
20:49if you and I are not soulmates,
20:51you don't believe me?
20:54I don't think...
20:56Rachel.
20:56What?
20:58You don't think what?
21:04Yeah, I don't think that would happen.
21:09You literally just told me you believe me.
21:11You literally just told me you believe me
21:13right before I walked down the aisle.
21:14This is crazy.
21:15This is crazy.
21:16This is fucking crazy.
21:16Wait, wait, hold on.
21:18I can't fucking believe it.
21:19No, no, no.
21:20I didn't mean for it to get like this.
21:21I'm sorry.
21:22You know, you're the...
21:22I put my confidence in us
21:24because I thought that you saw me.
21:26I thought that we saw each other.
21:28Can we go back to, like...
21:29Can we just go back to, like,
21:30four hours ago, please?
21:51He's...
21:52Bright side or grooms?
21:55Groom.
21:56I knew it.
21:57Are you married?
21:58Uh, yeah.
21:59To each other?
22:01Yeah.
22:02Do you believe she's your soulmate?
22:05Uh, yeah, for sure.
22:08For sure.
22:10Sorry, um, we're just gonna go back...
22:12back to our two.
22:13What happens at a wedding reception
22:14where there's no bride or groom?
22:16What is that, like a set-up
22:17for one of your bad jokes?
22:18No, honey, it's a genuine question.
22:20Please, please.
22:21No!
22:25I don't know what you want me to do!
22:27I...
22:28You don't let me think independently of you.
22:30You don't accept it
22:31when I don't share your exact perspective.
22:33I can't change what I believe in.
22:36But you can't believe me!
22:38Okay.
22:39You can't believe me, so...
22:40How?
22:42I don't believe in, like,
22:44supernatural shit
22:44or, like, cosmic retribution
22:47or curses.
22:48Why?
22:48I don't believe in fucking aliens!
22:50But if you told me
22:51there was certainty
22:52that you saw a fucking alien,
22:53I would believe you, Nikki.
22:56I'm sorry, Rachel.
22:57I don't...
22:58I...
22:58You don't...
22:59You knew this about me, okay?
23:01This isn't, like, new information.
23:02You know, what you do...
23:03What you do...
23:04Nikki,
23:05when you love someone
23:06is you believe the person that you love.
23:08That's what trust is.
23:10So when you told me
23:11that you believed me,
23:13I believed you.
23:14Instead of looking at a catalogue
23:15of all the things you've said in the past
23:17because I am fucking seeing you
23:18in the moment,
23:19in every moment,
23:20I am looking at you
23:21and you just...
23:22You don't fucking do that for me.
23:25You don't.
23:26You just...
23:27You chose a version of me
23:29a long time ago
23:30and that's all I am.
23:33And...
23:34Then you get...
23:35You get frustrated when I'm not hip
23:38because then you don't know who to be.
23:39And you know what?
23:40It's bad, Nikki.
23:41It's a bad fucking quality
23:42because you have made it impossible!
23:45Impossible!
23:47For me to exist!
23:53Two tomatoes, please.
23:58I like your jacket.
24:00Yeah, thanks.
24:02Can I have it?
24:08Three-Forty-Five.
24:10I'm getting them.
24:22Hey!
24:25The fuck is going on in there?
24:32Fuckers
24:39Let me in
24:40Rachel, the sun sets at 4.44
24:42That's less than an hour
24:43What the hell are you doing?
24:44I need a minute
24:45You're running out of minutes
24:46I'm getting the master key
24:48Dickheads
25:13If you weren't
25:16If you weren't cursed
25:16Would you still have said yes?
25:18Oh my god, that's irrelevant
25:20It's like asking me
25:22Oh, do you think you'd be right-handed
25:24If you had no fucking arms?
25:28Well, I still want an answer
25:33You have nothing to say
25:35You know what, Nikki?
25:36But actually you were just babied by your mother
25:38And sheltered from the entire fucking world
25:40So you know nothing about the real world, Nikki
25:43Nothing
25:47An evil person
25:48I think your brain should be studied
25:50God, that was like two fucking years ago, Nikki
25:52Okay, well, I would never disappear on you for a fucking week
25:55Oh my god
25:58Yeah, I think that you're a romantic
26:00Go get hired
26:00The spooky person
26:01If you're a romantic
26:01If you have one thing
26:02Go get hired
26:03Oh, ladies,antal
26:04I love you
26:04You do have to go
26:08Dickhead
26:08You're the most stupid fucking
26:12Dickhead
26:12Oh, humanos
26:18Yes, from yerde
26:31oh my god i knew you would ruin the wedding rachel i didn't portia i know that this has
26:36been a tough week but whatever problems you two are having i i promise you will be able
26:43to work it out okay but now it's not the time just let them do what they need to do
26:47not right now they have to get married that they have to what happened out there man i
26:51don't need this i don't need this right now none of us need this right now grow up and
26:55get married and what the hell are you doing you didn't drink it no i i put my faith in
27:02him why would you do that because i was 98 percent i'm sorry drink what the fuck are you
27:07doing look at her marry her who cares about your brand new life philosophy marry her or
27:11we're all fucked drink what now oh shut up portia you have to get married oh what because of
27:16the curse yes he doesn't believe in it oh it's real and if you don't marry her it spreads to
27:22our family that means jude's gonna have it too right wait what do you mean all of us
27:26yes i don't understand all right everybody just calm down
27:36stay here hey they didn't mean what you said out there did you
27:53i was just trying to do the right thing you have five minutes to do that yo shh okay come
28:02on let's go dad get ready to say your thing let's go get that witness guy jules why not
28:09if you're moving come on rachel come on rachel come on okay let's just go out there and
28:16finish the ceremony you know you have no reason to be embarrassed no one's mad sweetheart look
28:26look at me everything's gonna be okay come on
28:35come on
28:47i'm so sorry hey should we try again you wanna go back out there and try again you wanna go
28:56go back out there and try again what do you say what do you say rachel shall we can
29:04what do you say what do you say no i know nikki i'm not gonna marry you when oh when
29:51What are you doing?
29:52I'm not gonna fucking die for him.
29:53You're not gonna die.
29:54You said in your vows you believed it was your soulmate.
29:56Well, I don't.
29:56I don't.
29:57Hold on, hold on.
29:57Please do this one thing for me.
29:58This one thing?
29:59This one thing?
30:00Nikki, I did all of this for you.
30:03I did all of this for you.
30:04I said yes to the proposal for you.
30:06I said yes up there because I believed in you, but I'm done.
30:09I'm done.
30:10Okay?
30:10I'm not gonna betray myself for you anymore.
30:12I deserve a second chance.
30:14I deserve a second chance.
30:16Rachel, please.
30:17Come on, miss, please.
30:18All you had to do was believe me, Nikki.
30:22Fuck, it's 4.45.
30:23Don't walk and move on, cause I'm moving.
30:27I, oh, I'll be a baby.
30:32Let's see.
30:33Woo!
30:34Woo!
30:36Woo!
30:36Woo!
30:37Woo!
30:39Woo!
30:42Woo!
30:43Woo!
30:43Woo!
30:44n
31:14Oh my god.
31:48Oh my god.
32:06Oh my god.
32:41Oh my god.
33:33Oh my god.
33:36Oh my god.
34:04Oh my god.
34:54Oh my god.
35:02Where's your eyes?
35:03Where's your eyes?
35:04Hey, you!
35:05This is what you meant?
35:07Why did you fucking kill me?
35:09This is what happened.
35:10I warned you.
35:10I told you it was straight to his bloodline.
35:38I knew that bitch was satanic from the second I saw her.
35:41No one listens to me.
35:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
35:45What's happening?
35:47Oh, God.
35:47Oh, God.
35:48Oh, God.
35:48Oh, God.
35:49Oh, God.
35:59Oh, God.
36:00Oh, God.
36:16Lock the door, and don't let anyone in but me and Nellie, got it?
36:21Right.
36:24Get the TV on loud.
36:33I love you, and I won't let anything happen to you.
36:38I'll be right back, I promise.
36:40It's gonna be an absolute bloodbath when the Seahawks take the lead.
36:54Okay, listen. This fucking curse spread to our bloodline.
36:57That's gonna happen to me.
36:58Not if you think you're Vegas husbands, you're so me.
37:01You got married?
37:03Mom, I'm so sorry. It was a mistake. I never should have done it.
37:12Mom, Mom, forgive me.
37:13It is happening, and it's your fault, you stupid shit.
37:16All you had to do was marry her.
37:18This all happened because you didn't marry her.
37:21I think there's something we can do to stop it.
37:25Guys, what do we do?
37:26What do we do?
37:27We're getting help.
37:28I'm really sorry. It was a mistake. I never should have done it.
37:29Why didn't you sign the divorce papers?
37:31I don't know. I don't know what my life looks like without you.
37:33Fucking God!
37:34Am I bleeding?
37:35Not yet.
38:18Rachel!
38:19Rachel! Rachel! Rachel. Rachel. Rachel. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I totally fucked up and I'm so, I'm sorry. I
38:26believe you're my soul mate, and I'm yours. You're soul mates. I'm yours always.
38:35You believe me now
38:36I do
38:41I do
38:43I promise
38:44I promise
38:45I'll always believe you from now on
38:48I promise
38:50I promise
38:50By the power vested in me
38:53I now pronounce you husband and wife
38:55You may now kiss the bride
39:00Rachel
39:03No, no, no
39:05No, no, no, no
39:06No, no, no, no
39:07No, no, wait, you think he can't sign that?
39:09You already said your vows
39:11I wanted to complete the ceremony
39:13Hurry up, please
39:14No, but the curse already spread
39:16This is not going to stop it, right?
39:18It won't stop it
39:19Nikki, Nikki, Nikki
39:21We both have the fucking curse
39:25Getting married is only going to kill us
39:28Not if we're soulmates
39:29We're not
39:30I still think you're mine
39:41We had to try to save everyone
39:45My son has it
39:47I'm sorry
39:47I'm sorry, Rachel
39:49I'm sorry
39:54We're still soulmates
39:55Right?
39:57Right?
39:58Right?
40:04I'm so sorry
40:06Robert
40:07I'm sorry, Rachel
40:09Rachel
40:25You said it would work
40:27Why didn't it work?
40:29It was too late
40:30I'm sorry
40:42Dad
40:47Dad
40:49Dad
40:49Dad
40:49Dad
40:50Dad
40:50Dad
40:50Dad
40:55Oh, my God.
41:25Oh, my God.
41:58Oh, my God.
42:26Oh, my God.
42:33Oh, my God.
42:39Oh, my God.
42:41Oh, my God.
42:44Oh, my God.
42:45Oh, my God.
42:47Oh, my God.
43:13Oh, my God.
43:14Oh, my God.
45:35Why is it happening to you?
49:04Do you know where my lighter is?
49:26It's okay.
49:28It's okay.
49:32Jude.
49:49I'm so sorry that this happened to you, okay?
49:55But remember that it did happen.
50:03So don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
50:06You're going to be okay.
50:08Yeah.
50:08Hey, listen to me.
50:12You have to be really, really, really, really careful who you choose to marry.
50:19But don't worry.
50:20I'll be there to witness, okay?
50:22Okay.
50:34Okay.
50:38I'll see you later.
50:39I'll see you later.
50:40I'll see you later.
50:55I'll see you later.
51:29I'll see you later.
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