- 36 minutes ago
Watch Bait () free Season 1 Episode 2 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:08Char Latif welcome to Sir Chatterick Stewart with me Sir Patrick Stewart it's an honor to be here
00:15the honor is all mine I've hosted many fine actors on my little podcast but few who've
00:22had such an eventful 24 hours it's been a wild ride already that's for sure now I know a bond
00:29or two Daniel Craig's a dear friend big shoes to fill do you think you're up to the job yes
00:37yes I do now
00:41more than ever I'm ready to show the world that I've got what it takes yeah Nigel Murray how are
00:52you
00:52Vanguard yeah good yeah good um Alicia tells me you do security for all the top wankers yeah that's
00:58right yeah I'm always happy to take on a few up-and-coming wankers as well right yeah do
01:04you do personal because I might have an event tonight yeah no we do the full service they haven't got
01:09a
01:09food taster if you need one tell you what let's have a look in the house and we can talk
01:12about
01:12that afterwards yeah so how's this two points of entry hostile object into the front bay window
01:18those and the doors may need reinforcing and I was thinking maybe some visual deterrence along the
01:23perimeter if you have the bodies 60 friendlies expected tomorrow oh you really know your stuff
01:28well I played the translator in homeland season seven yes yes yes you did they got a lot of shit
01:34on that show come on okay all right so you're uh your guests are for ideal fit here I presume
01:39yeah
01:40yeah okay yeah just want to make sure everyone feels safe yeah sure might make more sense for you to
01:48start off upstairs I know it's harder to defend a position at higher altitude isn't it yeah okay
01:52well I'll take my shoes off and go upstairs yeah do you agree you can't really act this role part
01:58of
01:58you has to be it absolutely absolutely yeah luckily I'm already very experienced at navigating attacks
02:08of various kinds whether in the public eye or on the home front as it were yep you just got
02:15no
02:15Mandarin Oriental so thank you for sorting out Felicia I'll speak to you later about the collar all right
02:19bye what are you showing me right now it's a hotel okay they do free stays for celebs like Michelle
02:24yo yo digga dee fucking move west nanny and well your followers are blowing up okay it's a five
02:31star safe house all of us one week is free obviously minus my costs but yeah yeah we're not going
02:38to a
02:38hotel I'm dealing with it I'm not gonna get anything happen to you you don't need to be afraid I'm
02:43not
02:43afraid talking about man what the fuck's all this what does it look like security because I told you
02:59that I had security sorted so chill your pum pum out learn from the mandem it's not fucking movie yeah
03:03is
03:04what are you gonna ask where you got this from all this Allah provides bro does he yes does he
03:11provide
03:11discount rate with jahideen as well I know these guys brother too thick to make it into Isis which Isis
03:16Isis K Isis L OG Isis they've got different standards I've heard they're only PhDs do they
03:26the hardest fucking they're committed takbir I'm not trying to start a madrasa yeah I just trying to
03:32bring in some real actual protection if you can just listen to me for once if I want your
03:36fucking protection I'll ask for your extra small condoms you like that one anyway tiny really yeah
03:41stop pressing me cuz I'm going to chat to Abba we have to discuss this doing my tattooing every day
03:47what are you doing any fucking bag of one could just walk in that's because you've taken off the
03:54back door that's why I've hired a professional I professional I'm not doubting that I'm just if you
03:59let me do it then you'll be better for everyone Sean Connery to the rescue is it how do you
04:05understand
04:05sure sure better shall you better be a janu and help me take this to the car I mean 60
04:12people's a lot
04:12for read your mommy needs my help what are you doing chill mommy bastard you chill 20 fucking years
04:24she's been trying to steal eat already bringing a country swelling kebabs well I like kebabs
04:35it's a joint effort now I'm just doing my part it's a joint effort now you have done already so
04:38much
04:39shaju take the pots inside why are you giving Naila any more work it's nothing Daira I could be doing
04:45so much more but sadly it's no longer safe here now why not moving to my house who's not safe
04:53okay everybody stop can you stop deep Baba Baba can you just come here please can you stop the work
04:58everyone right let's have a little chat about Eid and the plan is your plan yeah what huh
05:03outsourcing our protection there is free Mesa nonce I'm not a nonce should have gone to the hotel
05:07Nigel's here to help secure the house the house the house will be ready house won't be ready
05:13Naila Naila please shaju sorry guys the prophet please be upon him so long exactly exactly he said it
05:20best when he said trust in Allah but tie up your camel my guy he knows his stuff you gotta
05:28hand it to
05:29him I just want to say that holy days like this are an absolute lightning rod for bad actors so
05:32perhaps you should think about moving your eat celebrations to a different location
05:36hey hey Bencho shut one layover in Dubai thinks he knows our business
05:39kore nah I've got tremendous respect for Islamic culture especially after six tours of Afghanistan
05:51yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah love it to meet the family colorful lot aren't they
06:10they really get after it and you're a your brother he's seems nice well he's not my brother he's my
06:17cousin but he was raised with us okay complicated all right well look this is for you as you quote
06:24although I would be willing to postpone payment you know in consideration of the future work because
06:31if my internet searches are correct then you will be needing our services a lot more in the future oh
06:37let's see what happens I'm just really reasonable could you just leave it with me I'm getting a few
06:41different quotes in that's fine okay oh so did you want me to provide a personal for tonight I can
06:46send one of my best guys what you doing you asked me to do security now but tonight I did
06:51him yeah so
06:52well we need to thank you for coming by yeah no absolute pleasure yeah well oh by the way I've
06:59stolen
06:59dash cams the battery life is so bring a charger all right you can have that for free hmm cheers
07:05Nigel
07:06mm-hmm why are you wasting your money on these render fits bro I've had your back since day
07:20uh did you go into this garland tonight on your own or I've got a plus one this is it
07:32you got any shoes I want trainers can arrange it oh get ready you fucker
08:02we die is a proper go fuck out there it's a good job I came to babysit you
08:05my bro you might be taking care of the muscle but I'm winning over the hearts and minds yeah
08:11what when you're in the middle of a culture war that's the real battleground big man how you gonna
08:15fucking battle them with your horny makeup face what you know the face that you do when you're on the
08:19red carpet it looks like you're trying to shag that camera but you're worried the camera's gonna
08:22shag you no I'm not don't put that in my head right now you're gonna put me off okay for
08:27confirmation
08:27what is that yeah what man I look good there you look like you're making a pervy version of
08:32fucking planet Earth all right let me just see something Rajtaka motherfucker is all right all
08:38right don't jizz on my leather seats you can't afford a cleaning fee okay listen let's just go
08:41there and smash it all right brother we are already fucking smashing it okay we are arriving in the
08:46Muba Prime experience look at this Halal Harry Bowls custom specifically branded Zamzam water
08:51your little mini dildo on the dashboard cuz look at me we are arriving like this is fast and furious
08:56but
08:57without the four skins you understand come on let's get it cuz yes yeah you ready yes okay learn
09:02curry cut again yeah come on don't do that on the red carpet I can't guarantee it
09:19there's a lot of excitement but also some displeasure at the idea of a Gujarati playing pond proving
09:27those voices wrong has been my life's mission how so oh it's why I want the role it's why I'm
09:34here
09:34speaking to you is that why you wanted to make a speech at the King's Museum Gala exactly to show
09:41people that this is what a hero can look like to show them that this too is what British looks
09:47like
09:51hey yo listen I support the team I support the team but when you finish tonight please get home with
09:57Muba okay that's for you sorry there's no service in your area I'm Turkish you're Turkish then there's
10:02service in your area thank you excuse me sister no sure MC rickshaw may I get a pic you want
10:13a
10:13pic I'll kill you next week I'll cut guys come and get a picture with your one and only fan
10:17come on
10:18oh hey bro you ignoring me probably don't go man why are you going in there man so now you
10:26should be
10:27out here with us hey yo yo yo it's where the photo with you what's the problem bro if I
10:31get a photo
10:31take with them law it's not it's not the right image I'm going for right now all right the real
10:35change happens in here we got to get in there listen I know you think you're his majesty's secret
10:42service society yeah but don't go full coconut pussy all around me tonight oh yeah then don't go
10:46into father fuck boy on me then you want to respect my guy keep it real yeah okay why don't
10:51you
10:51respect this watch and learn you're doing it again I'm not doing the face you're doing the face
10:59all right let me show you nah you know what that is hmm you look like a paedophile gerbil bro
11:05there's cameras why would you say paedophile because they don't have sound it's photo hi so happy
11:10really I'm so glad to be here thank you this is my associate mother much can learn um can I
11:15ask um
11:16who I might speak to about my speech this evening oh have you done us doing this oh I think
11:22it's
11:22because I'm a lost a last-minute addition so well there'll be a new house I suppose yeah she's our
11:29new director okay oh I I'm I'm guessing I have a plus one mr. Zulfokar Ali CEO of move enterprises
11:37I
11:37just think it'd be like an official record I'm here tonight so thank you cuz where the fuck have you
11:44bought us man this looks like the jars bull sack you're from humble beginnings like me so how was your
11:51family dealing with all this the same way we deal with everything it's a team together I'm proud to say
11:58that we've all got each other's backs bro this is mad yeah I told you bro I'll go stuff cooking
12:04oh Salaam Alaikum Salaam Alaikum sorry I'm gonna find this Vivian yeah yeah no point me being here if I
12:16can't get on stage there she is museum director yeah my guy the fuck are you bro some ego bro
12:22look at
12:23all right listen I'm gonna go work on you you should we tag team her what it's not like that
12:28I mean
12:29I'm gonna like convince her together like good packing bad packing what would that be like oh I
12:34didn't like good cop bad cop well package I got this one covered yeah you sure yeah yeah in a
12:41bit I'll be
12:44here sing let me tell you about this I'm Vivian Charlotte Eve oh yes of course Mr. Lateef I wonder
13:00if I could
13:00borrow you for a moment absolutely although anything borrowed has to be given back now apparently what can I do
13:06for you Mr. Lateef I was actually wondering what I might be able to do for you there's nobody like
13:10most things that can get you to where you need to be on time brother we are on time for
13:14prayers five
13:14times a day if you call me Zulfi can you get me to where I need to go I'll get
13:19you there this museum
13:20means a great deal to me and I saw you had a number of protesters outside yes and it thrills
13:25me to see
13:26young people engaging in a conversation about our shared heritage and culture in fact we invite this
13:31kind of dialogue is it a dialogue though if you don't have an ambassador of sorts to help bridge the
13:36divide between those on the inside and those out there who's your name Ali Reza Ali Reza I'm feeling
13:42the Iran yes yeah bit of Farsi my guy come on this we could be in that region I for
13:47one would be honored
13:49to get up there and say a few words about may I about how I'm global Britain truly is both
13:54in
13:54its artifacts and its people well you know I'm an eighth Indian I did not well what about yourself where
14:00are you from London you're from London you sound with originally from London but I understand your
14:07latest acquisition is is from a Muslim country yes but treasures like the one we're unveiling tonight
14:12don't just belong to Islam they belong to us all so I can go up and say a few words
14:16I'll be very brief
14:18no miss Latif that's simply not how we do things around here this isn't a pop-up Banksy exhibit
14:23besides we already have our dear friend Raj Thakkar giving a speech enjoy your evening
14:35and now to the more uncomfortable part of our chat you didn't think this was going to be all softballs
14:43did you Raj Thakkar your rival I wouldn't call him that come on come on you can be honest I
14:51can't be
14:51in the same room as Ian Magneto McKellen oh sorry sir Ian Magneto McKellen I just think that there's
14:59plenty of room for all of us at the top oh please a day ago you were the only brown
15:05bloke up for the job
15:06and now there are two and word on the web is he'd make a better bond yeah well I don't
15:12really pay
15:12attention to what people say about me it's just not in my nature you should old chap he's a bigger
15:18name with a bigger fan base and I dare say he's thought of as a better actor that's subjective cut
15:25the camel shit Latif you couldn't even convince that museum director to let you speak how do you expect
15:32to convince the world that you can be bond you don't stand a chance in a horse pajamas do you
15:40you
15:40pussy hole he needs to go on a dish you push cut no use being angry with me you only
15:51have yourself to
15:52blame I'm trying try harder do you understand there he is hey hey sure I love this man I haven't
16:03seen you
16:04in a minute bro how's it going yeah when was the last time I saw you mango tree premiere yeah
16:09yeah
16:09yeah thank you for coming man you were so good in that thank you did you guys see that under
16:14the mango
16:14tree so it's about this magical mango tree this white woman eats a mango she travels back in time to
16:20colonial India falls in love with this Indian guy and they have this relationship over space and time
16:24it's about how loves timeless and crosses all sorts of boundaries I don't know why I didn't connect
16:31more actually can I bro you for a break yeah just bro yeah thanks a lot um you look incredible
16:37by the
16:37way and very very smart getting photographed in the tugs and holding that drink it's uh just here to
16:42support one of our nation's most important cultural institutions um just the one thing's got people
16:49going mental hasn't it yeah people are passionate man it's just um that the hate though I hate is it's
16:55it's a lot right I know you're probably probably getting a lot of that too not really nothing to cry
17:02about just got to stay grateful people are busting their asses at dead-end jobs just to put food on
17:09the
17:09table we live in the dream yeah yeah yeah we are yeah hates a small price to pay yes it's
17:13just some
17:14psycho sent a pig's head to my mom's house you serious fuck you know that's actually why I'm here
17:21um I want to show them that no amount of hate is going to make me hide and actually if
17:28this museum
17:28can house treasures from all around the world and this country has to take in people from all around
17:33the world am I right yeah preach yeah I just want to make a statement showing that this this too
17:39is what
17:40British looks like I love the passion man I'm so glad you said that because I heard that you're
17:44speaking later and I was thinking maybe we could tag team here yeah that's a great idea yeah you've
17:50got something important to say I want to be a part of that yeah I tell you what why don't
17:53I go up first
17:54and then I'll bring you up I would love that thank you my brother I love that man of course
17:59I really
17:59appreciate it there you are hey I know you it's my security guy the muba guy yeah I overheard you
18:06chatting about it earlier I love the concept thank you brother are you muslim aren't we all a little
18:12yeah have you got a card I'll spread the word nice yeah okay I gotta go that's my mom you
18:20brought your
18:20mom yeah yeah yeah wouldn't be here without her so shouldn't be here without her you know it's all
18:36I've never met all the thickest twat you're a thick twat what security guy that's all I have to
18:43you you literally told me to bring you here as security why are you getting cranky oh you haven't
18:47broken fast huh no I haven't of course I'm hungry man don't eat a canapé champagne just have a little
18:53canapé bro just have a little something to eat nothing here is halal none of the little things the big
18:59things none of it have some halloumi halloumi halloumi is not Israeli that's what they want you to
19:03think it's an arabic cheese prove it to me google it you know I don't use google thank you
19:12too kind good evening in 2001 we watched in horror as taliban fanatics laid waste to a once great
19:25nation's cultural heritage we wept as monuments to peace were turned to rubble but tonight we write
19:35this wrong after a nine-year 15 million pound restoration project it is my honor to present to
19:43you tonight the restored Buddha of Bamiyan and now an extra special treat it is with great enthusiasm
20:05that I invite tonight's guest speaker to the stage the most gentle mini vampire hunter I've ever had the
20:11pleasure of meeting Raj Thakkar
20:21it's an honor to be here I mean wow this museum is home to artifacts from around the globe and
20:32so it should
20:32follow that England too is home to people from those same places now tonight is a celebration but I would
20:39like to speak with you all about my experiences as an Englishman and as a person of color recently
20:47racist hate took the form of a severed pig's head delivered to my family's doorstep it was horrific
20:59there was blood everywhere my mother was left traumatized mummy I'm sorry
21:07but no amount of hate will make me hide those driven by prejudice they need to see us in these
21:16spaces
21:19and because this too is what British looks like
21:26thank you thank you thank you
21:30excuse me Mr. Latif you have a situation a man claiming to be your brother has been harassing and
21:35racially profiling museum guests
21:38what?
21:39they're really doing very special work
21:41oh and uh Shah Latif wanted to say something too
21:45I'm about to go on man
21:46Shah?
21:47otherwise we're gonna have to escort him off the premises immediately
21:51I don't know
22:09so let's talk about your big moment the speech that never was
22:15a silky bit of spycraft from Thacker
22:18he's clearly made for the role
22:20not to mention he can get the bleeding lines out
22:26nine?
22:27I can do better
22:28I can't
22:28can you now?
22:31let's see
22:33I also had a pig's head sent to my mom's house
22:39I um
22:41nice one dickhead
22:42you're more frozen than me
22:44but it's not your acting
22:47that's the problem is it?
22:48it's who you are
22:51you don't have the balls to be bond
22:54shut up
22:55hey yo cut
22:56cut my me you weren't an only fan
22:57you turned your back on your own fans
23:00man slow down
23:02you turned your back on your own family
23:08face it
23:09people like you are never the heroes of the story
23:13you'll always just be
23:15a scared
23:17little
23:18packy
23:22send him back where he came from
23:28ahhh
23:29c juga
23:31ahhh
23:34p
23:35ahhh
23:35p
23:36p
23:36p
23:37ah
23:37p
23:39p
23:41p
23:41uh
23:42p
23:42Oh!
23:45Oh!
23:49Oh!
23:53Oh!
23:56Oh!
23:57Yeah?
24:01You OK?
24:03Yeah, are you?
24:04What were you doing?
24:06Nothing.
24:07What were you doing?
24:08Nothing, bro.
24:09It's 2am.
24:10Were you talking to someone or what?
24:12Oh, sorry, man. I was just running late.
24:15In a suit?
24:16Cost you a minute.
24:18Oh, well, the moon's been sighted, so...
24:22Eid Mubarak.
24:23Yeah.
24:25Night-night, you weirdo.
24:30Eid Mubarak, bitch!
24:32Oh, yeah.
24:34Oh, yeah.
24:40You can yeah, or the new lady,
24:44Oh, yeah.
24:46Oh, oh, yeah.
24:47There's no union right,
24:48Oh, yeah.
24:57Oh, yeah.
24:57Oh, yeah.
24:59Oh, yeah.
24:59Oh, yeah.
25:00Yes, it's so big to see you.
Comments