00:00Starting a new venture can be risky.
00:03One must weigh the pros and cons and decide whether the fruits of one's labor are worth
00:08the inevitable pitfalls that lay ahead.
00:10When examining this tight rope-like equation, expanding a business in the paranormal sector
00:16and running a sustainable farm may have similar challenges.
00:21Will the monetary profit justify the added effort?
00:25Will your existing clientele feel alienated by your new business model?
00:31Will the insurance provider provide coverage for employees dismembered by mythological beasts?
00:36Hi, I'm Genevieve Cream, and in an attempt to answer some of these questions, Paranormal
00:42Solutions, Inc. presents Werewolves Are Real.
01:04Do you have trouble with ghosts?
01:07Are you being bothered by an annoying yeti?
01:09Are vampires nesting in your pantry or barn?
01:13Or maybe there's just something eerie.
01:16You can't put your finger on.
01:17Well, guess what?
01:19There's good news.
01:21Paranormal Solutions, Inc. is expanding.
01:24We believe in everything.
01:27Our group of paranormal technicians and occult specialists are equipped with the latest paranormal
01:32technology and methods.
01:33This allows us to create a custom, personal paranormal solution for you.
01:38No matter how small the ghost, no matter how big the haunting, no object will be left unidentified.
01:45For all your otherworldly knees, there's only one number to call.
01:48We're just a bunch of paranormal guys.
01:52You can't air this.
01:54Why?
01:56Because we're ghost hunters, Jared.
01:58We hunt ghosts.
01:59I mean, you listed about a hundred things there that probably don't even exist.
02:02People call us every day with those exact problems.
02:06And you're willing to take advantage of crazy people?
02:09I'm willing to believe in anything, Sarah, as long as someone's paying me to.
02:12Guys, this is crazy.
02:14My phone is blowing up.
02:15Well, would you look at that?
02:16Getting lots of cases?
02:18Ah, no.
02:18Actually, people are just telling me I look great on TV.
02:20Oh.
02:21You aired this without showing me?
02:23Just trust me.
02:25You were going into business with you after the divorce was a terrible decision.
02:28The best terrible decision you ever made.
02:31We have a case.
02:32See?
02:33Terrible decisions pay off.
02:37So, uh, this is where the disturbance occurred?
02:40Disturbance.
02:40Yeah.
02:40You could call it that.
02:42What's she doing?
02:45Ah, I see you've already met Madonna, our occult specialist.
02:49She's trying to read the energy of the, um, the ship.
02:55Strong.
02:56You see, some entities, you know, they leave clues or a, uh, paranormal residue, if you will,
03:02but don't worry, if there's anything here, my team will find it.
03:05I'm getting a faint reading in this general area.
03:11Okay, great.
03:12Um, the body's right in here.
03:30Are you crazy?
03:31What are you calling us for?
03:32You should be calling the police.
03:33Call the police?
03:34These are cheap, illegal workers.
03:36Mexicans?
03:36Nicaraguans.
03:37They're better at sustainable farming.
03:38Wait, wait.
03:38You have a sustainable farm, but you use cheaper legal workers?
03:40Hey, live by your own code, dude, okay?
03:42This might hurt a few Nicaraguans.
03:43Unsustainable farming?
03:44That hurts everyone.
03:49This guy died horribly.
03:51His body is missing.
03:53You didn't hear anything?
03:54I sleep heavy.
03:55Sustainable farming isn't easy.
03:56You should try it sometime.
03:57Okay, Farmer Hank.
03:58I, uh, I think that you have a, uh, possible werewolf infestation.
04:03There's a bunch of these things?
04:04I don't know.
04:05I mean, no.
04:06Probably just one.
04:07No, but you said an infestation, and that implies-
04:09I get it, I get it.
04:09It just, it sounded good.
04:10But more importantly, Mr. Hank, your farm, it's in good hands.
04:14That werewolf does not stand a chance.
04:17It was probably just a puma.
04:19A puma?
04:20Yeah.
04:21Or a mountain lion.
04:22So, what?
04:23Suddenly you feel like you're equipped to deal with a puma?
04:25What, we can't call it a mountain lion?
04:27Sarah, why are you always fixating on the problems?
04:35What's this?
04:36Puma trap.
04:37How?
04:38Did you know that-
04:39Mark called ahead.
04:42Okay, are you sure your co-op program requires you to end at a hard five o'clock?
04:46I don't want to stay here.
04:49Okay, but we could really use your MacGyver skills tonight.
04:52Who's MacGyver?
04:53Well, he's the old, white, eighties male version of you.
04:56He uses gum to solve problems.
04:59Gum.
05:01Uh, okay.
05:02So, what is the plan here?
05:04To lure a dangerous animal into this cage?
05:06Yeah.
05:07This is insane.
05:09It's okay.
05:10I know a guy.
05:12He knows a guy.
05:13It's wet.
05:14Put it in there.
05:15I'm not putting it in there.
05:16You put it in there.
05:18It's your idea.
05:24It's heavy.
05:27You're wearing a lot of bling.
05:29I want it to look nice in case we're done early.
05:32You sound like a reindeer.
05:35And I'm not even in the bedroom yet.
05:39You look scared.
05:41I'm just cold.
05:45You warm now?
05:46Nope.
05:48No, I'm scared.
05:50All right, everyone.
05:51Gather round.
05:54This is Garvin Brock, the foremost expert in mountain lion tracking in the Pacific Northwest.
06:05Mountain lion or the puma or the cougar is a sleek, graceful beast.
06:16They are secretive and solitary and they are very, very rarely seen in the wild unless they're on the hunt.
06:26For many of those who have seen them, it's the last thing they see.
06:34Like that, uh, that half a Hispanic gathering fires in there.
06:39Now, if you do encounter a mountain lion, do not run.
06:46It's their instinct to chase and they will catch you.
06:50Now, if the animal is displaying aggressive behavior, throw rocks and shout.
06:57Raise your arms up in the air.
07:01Roar!
07:07Roar!
07:07Roar!
07:09Roar!
07:11Roar!
07:12Roar!
07:13Roar!
07:14Roar!
07:15Roar!
07:15Roar!
07:16Roar!
07:17Roar!
07:17Roar!
07:17Roar!
07:18Roar!
07:27This is all your fault.
07:28I know.
07:29Get out of here.
07:31I love you, Sarah.
07:32Ugh.
07:33Okay?
07:33And if we die here, I just need you to know that.
07:35If those are the last words I hear, I'll know my life was an absolute waste.
07:40I mean it.
07:41Stop it.
07:42Sorry, sir.
07:51Hey, remember, I did this for you.
07:59Adana, no! Don't move!
08:02Look at me!
08:12Come on.
08:15Go!
08:17Okay, okay, okay.
08:23Come here!
08:25Shh!
08:44You're right.
09:03Is it dead?
09:05According to this, uh, bludgeoning appears to be a werewolf killing method.
09:11As long as we use a little silver.
09:27Farmer Hank!
09:28He thought he spent his whole night sleeping,
09:31but he really spent his whole night eating half an illegal Nicaraguan worker.
09:36Oh, my God.
09:39We killed him!
09:41I feel a lot less guilty when they're already dead.
09:45I mean, you can't really hurt a ghost.
09:48I guess, uh, that's the cost of diversifying.
09:53How are we gonna get paid?
09:54Yeah!
10:06We'll leave now, or to read...
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