00:03Hi, I'm Genevieve Cream.
00:06A passenger on a plane throws themselves on a burning woman to prevent her from detonating an explosive device.
00:12A transit commuter leaps onto the railway tracks just as a train is arriving to save a man who has
00:18fallen after having a seizure.
00:20Bruce Willis blows himself up, splitting a media in two so it narrowly misses the earth.
00:31What do these people have in common?
00:34They're dumb. Being heroic is dumb.
00:39As we will see in Paranormal Solutions' next instalment, only you can prevent zombie attacks.
00:49Is this gonna work?
00:50I don't know.
00:55Get out of him!
00:57One more time! Sorry!
01:02You are such a prick!
01:04It had to be done!
01:05Not this! What you did before!
01:10She doesn't love you anymore. How do you know?
01:12I don't love you anymore.
01:14That's how.
01:41I'm not making this up. I don't want this to be true, but they're real. They are, I swear.
01:46No, please.
01:47Madge, show some compassion.
01:50From eating rainbow trout?
01:51I told him the lake looks sick.
01:53How can a lake look sick?
01:55There are many environmental indicators.
01:57Who are you?
01:57David Suzuki?
01:59Guys, will you shut up and help me with this?
02:01After everything we've been through,
02:03you can't believe that there might be zombies?
02:05Darren, even if this lady wasn't a psycho
02:08and there were zombies, what's that gonna do?
02:11Alert us to their presence.
02:12When we just see them coming?
02:14Not if you're asleep.
02:14Then we'll have to put someone on watch.
02:18In every zombie movie,
02:20someone says they'll be on watch,
02:21but then they fall asleep.
02:22So, if you're not gonna help me with the zombie alert fence,
02:25make yourself useful and turn that tripod
02:27into a zombie trident.
02:28If there was a zombie apocalypse,
02:29why are we spending the night?
02:31Because Jared and Sarah are still out there.
02:33We have to wait for them.
02:34Why?
02:35So Jared can try to win Sarah back
02:36with his stupid, crappy, last-minute picnic?
02:39Shut up. That's supposed to be a surprise.
02:40Shut up, you.
02:41I wish Olivia was here.
02:43She would know what to do.
02:44It's always about Olivia.
02:46Kill me.
02:49What?
02:52Kill me.
02:54Come again?
02:56Kill me before it's too late.
03:00Before what's too late?
03:04I ate some trout, too.
03:08I'll be a zombie soon.
03:35Jared, it's over.
03:37It's been over for a year.
03:38Come on, Sarah.
03:41If you love someone, set them free.
03:44If they come back, they're yours forever.
03:47I came back.
03:49I left you.
03:50Remember?
03:51She left you, Jared.
03:55What are you doing here?
03:57This is great.
03:58Look at that.
04:01You have to accept that Sarah and I are together now.
04:04How did you know we were here?
04:05Two hands and a plan.
04:09Madonna told you, didn't she?
04:11Yeah.
04:12Yeah, she told me.
04:15Is that Brie?
04:16Yeah, that's Brie.
04:17It was $9.95.
04:19It's from France.
04:19You love Brie.
04:21You love Brie.
04:24We both love Brie.
04:25We love Brie.
04:29Oh, look at those chocolates.
04:30Get out of my picnic.
04:32Hazel.
04:32Get out of my picnic.
04:35Just close your eyes and swing.
04:40I can't do this.
04:41Come on, Madonna.
04:42It's just like the werewolf.
04:43Not in any way at all.
04:45Please.
04:46What if she's wrong?
04:47What if it's not the rainbow trout?
04:48You hurt her.
04:49Her boyfriend ate the rainbow trout.
04:51Now he's a zombie.
04:52If that's true, then where is he?
04:53She's got a good point.
04:55It could be something else.
04:56I mean, what if she's just sick?
04:58We can't take that chance.
04:59And if it is something else, it could be airborne and we're breathing in the contagion right now.
05:06We can't just kill her.
05:08Yes, we can.
05:09She asks us to.
05:09It's fine.
05:10It still doesn't make it legal.
05:11I've always had respect for Dr. Kevorkian.
05:13What does that have to do with anything?
05:14Right now?
05:14I'm not sure.
05:15Look, we could just quarantine her.
05:17Where?
05:19Oh, my God.
05:21She's turning.
05:27Ma'am, are you okay?
05:28She's really not okay.
05:29Get away from her.
05:30Guys, get over here.
05:32What are you doing?
05:33It's the only thing I remember in history class.
05:35In World War I, the soldiers will pee on rigs to protect themselves from mustard gas.
05:40There is no mustard gas.
05:42I know.
05:43But Jared could be right.
05:44The contagion could be airborne.
05:46We can't take any chances.
05:53She's crazy, but she's right.
05:56But...
06:02Look, Jared, even your friends know you're not right for Sarah.
06:05That's not true.
06:09They sent me an email.
06:10What?
06:15Dear Dax, it's me.
06:17We all at PSI recognize that Jared, it's you.
06:21Yeah, I get it.
06:23Is not a good match for Sarah.
06:25I know who she is.
06:26Right.
06:26And fully endorse your new relationship and wish you the best of luck.
06:31It's signed by everybody.
06:35What is this?
06:38Look, Jared, I know this is hard for you, but we're not meant for each other.
06:43We grew apart.
06:45But we have...
06:46Sometimes, life throws you a curveball.
06:48Or a slider.
06:49Or a knuckleball.
06:51Or maybe all three.
06:52And you just gotta roll with the punches.
06:57Okay, those are two different sports analogies.
06:58And they're your two favorite sports.
07:02Let's just be friends.
07:08I don't know what to say.
07:10Be friends.
07:12It's time to move on.
07:16We can't just be friends.
07:18We've been together for too long.
07:21We are in love with each other.
07:23She doesn't love you anymore.
07:25How do you know?
07:26I don't love you anymore.
07:28That's how.
07:33What?
07:48What are you doing?
07:49I'm saving my life.
07:50And yours.
07:51No!
07:52Jax!
07:56What are you doing?
08:03I thought that would work.
08:06I borrowed that basket.
08:07Shut up.
08:09Be careful.
08:11Shut up.
08:12Whoa!
08:14Whoa!
08:16Ah!
08:16Ah!
08:24My rig dried out.
08:25Maybe we should give her some water.
08:27Not with eyes like that.
08:29Ah!
08:33Still convince her he's not a zombie?
08:37Goddamn rainbow trout.
08:39You can't eat anything anymore.
08:41This world is so messed up.
08:43I'm not doing it.
08:47But we have to.
08:53For mankind.
08:57I'll take that axe!
08:59What the heck is going on?
09:00Jared's a cowardly prick.
09:02That's what's going on.
09:03What happened to Dax?
09:04Well, Jared pushed him into a zombie and the zombie bit his arm.
09:06I'm sure it was an axe.
09:07What are you doing?
09:08I've got to kill a zombie.
09:10Just give it to me.
09:11Why?
09:12Because I have to chop off Dax's arm before it's too late.
09:15Okay.
09:16But then I've got to kill the zombie.
09:17I can't.
09:19I'm not losing my arm.
09:21I'm so sorry, Dax.
09:22But Jared is right.
09:23But it's two hands and a plan.
09:25Two hands!
09:26I know.
09:27And usually Jared's wrong, but this time he's not.
09:30Dax!
09:32Trust me.
09:34Is this going to work?
09:36I don't know.
09:37Darren?
09:38Yep?
09:38Get over here and help Mark hold Dax's arm down.
09:41Yes.
09:43Madonna!
09:44Yeah?
09:45Stay away from me, because there's a good chance I'll use this axe on you.
09:48Why?
09:49Because you told Dax about my romantic plan.
09:51That's a good reason.
10:04I'm sorry.
10:05One more time.
10:09You are such a prick.
10:11It had to be done.
10:12I'm not talking about this.
10:14I'm talking about what you did before.
10:16What choice did I have?
10:18Of being a hero is a choice.
10:19What do you think I'm doing now?
10:22Now I'm in the fucking park!
10:34Was that for me?
10:35Was that for you?
10:40You're right.
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