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The Beverly Hillbillies s01e21-jed-plays-solomon-givefastlink
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00:01Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed
00:03A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed
00:06And then one day he was shootin' at some food
00:09And up to the ground come a bubble and crude
00:12Oil, that is, black gold, Texas tea
00:17Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire
00:20The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there
00:22Said, California is the place you ought to be
00:25So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly
00:28Hills, that is, swimmin' foos, movie stars
00:32The Beverly Hillbillies
00:53Now come along and visit with the Clampett family
00:57As they learn the simple pleasures of the hills of Beverly
01:00That includes the products of your sponsor of the week
01:04The cereals of Kellogg's, Kellogg's of Battle Creek
01:07Corneus Flakes, anybody makes Kellogg's?
01:26Hey, Ma, what'd you want me to do with the sign?
01:28Oh, I don't care, Jethro, you might as well burn it
01:30Okay, Ma
01:34In here, take it on outside
01:38What's going on, Pearl?
01:39How come you brought in your sign?
01:40Oh, Jed, I give up
01:42How can I give music lessons
01:44When every time I open my mouth to sing or yodel
01:47Fifteen dogs jump on me?
01:49That's right, Uncle Jed
01:50Last night when I come in
01:51They had my treat on top of the pie, Annie
01:54That wasn't funny, Jethro
01:55Well, it made Granny and May laugh
01:57Well, it may give me her word
01:59That she keep them dogs outside
02:00Especially while you was performing
02:02How's it getting in here?
02:04I don't know, but we'll find out
02:05Jethro, you stay here and watch the front door
02:08I'll go watch the cellar door
02:09We know we can't get in the back
02:11Because Granny's in the kitchen
02:12Pearl, you go on in the drawing room
02:14And cut loose
02:33Don't get her, gang
02:35I'm in it for everyone's women
02:52Are you going to get your more treat?
02:54Are you going to come through here?
02:55No, sir
02:55No, sir
02:55I'm not through the cellar neither
02:58Quiet down
02:58Now, quiet down
02:59Jethro will get your more down off a perch
03:02Jeth
03:03I'm taking all I can stand for
03:05Either you get rid of them dogs
03:08Or I'm leaving
03:08Yeah, Pearl, yeah
03:09Now, calm down
03:10Paul, you ain't going to get rid of my dogs
03:13Now, Ellie Mae, you let me handle these
03:15Your Aunt Pearl been set upon by these dogs
03:18And we got to weed out the vicious ones
03:19Jethro, you commence to hand them to me
03:21Yes, sir, Uncle J
03:22Paul, please
03:24I'm going to handle this, Ellie Mae
03:26Here's a mean looking one, Pearl
03:34Well, I don't reckon he's one of the mean ones, Jed
03:41You can keep that one, Ellie
03:46Uh-oh, look what we got here
03:47The ringleader
03:52You ever see such a vicious looking face
03:55He ain't exactly a ringleader
03:59He just kind of went along with the mob
04:07Look at this ornery one here
04:10Don't get too close to this one
04:14Look at him
04:15Guilty as sin
04:17He's praying for mercy
04:27I don't even remember seeing this one before
04:31Give me the next killer
04:32How about this mean looking varmint here, Pearl?
04:36Oh, let them all stay
04:40Just keep them out of the house
04:42Whilst I'm singing and yodeling
04:45Well, how'd they get in, Ma?
04:46Well, they seem to come from that direction
04:48Over there
04:49Oh, I wish I was in Dixie
04:52Hooray, hooray
04:53In Dixieland
04:55I'll take my stand to live
05:04Well, what's everybody staring at me for?
05:08I didn't let them dogs in
05:10Nobody said you did, Granny
05:18My own kin has turned against me
05:21Giving me the evil eye
05:22You want to get shed of me
05:24Because I'm old and ailing
05:26And all crippled up with the rheumatism
05:28And the lumbago
05:31Worn out in the service of my kin
05:35You don't have to put up with old Granny anymore
05:40I'm going to throw myself in the cement pond
05:42And drown
05:44And I won't be no more trouble to you
05:50Don't nobody try and stop me
05:58Don't nobody try and stop me
06:09It's better this way
06:10Then Pearl can have everything to herself
06:22Well, Pearl, uh
06:23You heard her
06:25Reckon you better take over the kitchen
06:28All right, Jed
06:29I'll get right out there
06:32You keep out of my kitchen
06:34Ooh
06:45If you don't stay out of my kitchen
06:47I'm going to hit you so hard atop your head
06:50You'll be able to ride half fair
06:59If that poor old wore out
07:01Sick crippled little woman
07:03Ever gets her strength back
07:04We better all look out
07:22Go get her, gang
07:24There's the usual reward
07:26Granny, close that door
07:29Oh, Jed
07:31I only opened the door
07:32To let in a little fresh air
07:34And a lot of dogs
07:35Well, I just can't take Pearl screeching any longer
07:38Sounds like a pine knot and a saw meal
07:42Ms. Drysdale's been complaining, too
07:43Calls the police most every day
07:45That ain't a bit neighborly, is it?
07:48Mr. Drysdale promised you wouldn't call no more
07:51Now, Granny, you leave them dogs outside
08:07Give me the police
08:09Give me the police
08:28Man, I thought that complaint would never come through
08:30How could anyone complain about a thing as beautiful as Pearl's yodeling?
08:40Besides, you're not well
08:41If you let them in, I just know it's that nice policeman who's crazy about my yodeling
08:47I don't think so
08:48It's morning, sir
08:48Oh, sure it is
08:50Comes by pertinent every morning by now
08:52Him and that young policeman
08:55Oh, what is it of you?
08:56Come in
08:56Thank you, Mr. Clavitt
08:57Morning, sir
08:58Morning
08:59Well, look who's here
09:01Officer Dean
09:02You can just call me Eddie, ma'am
09:04Well, F and you'll call me Pearl, Eddie
09:06It'll be my pleasure, Pearl
09:08I got a brand new yodel to show you
09:10Wonderful
09:17Just so we won't disturb the peace
09:23You looking for Ellie Mae?
09:25Who?
09:26My daughter
09:26Oh, no, sir
09:28Where is she?
09:31How about a cement pond?
09:33Pond?
09:33Oh, you mean a swimming pool?
09:35Yeah, I reckon you could call it that
09:37Ellie and Jethro swims in it
09:39I better get out there right away, Mr. Clampert
09:41We've had a lot of reports about people stealing swimming pool water
09:45I mean, uh, pool furniture
09:48Oh, yeah, you better get right out there and keep your eye on that furniture
09:52You'll find her working with her dogs and cats and birds
09:54Thank you
09:58Did you say dogs and cats and birds?
10:01Yeah, she's got her dogs and cats to be friends
10:04Now she's working on the cats and birds
10:15Everybody can be friends if they just try
10:17And you two is friends now
10:20Just remember, Rusty
10:21Folks don't eat their friends
10:23You two have a good ride
10:25And go show Granny how y'all made up
10:36That's the best batch of rheumatism medicine I ever did cook up
10:46Yes, sirree, that's first rate
11:00I commenced to seeing birds riding horse back on cats
11:04That's enough tasting
11:09Hi, Granny
11:09Oh, Ellie
11:11Here, keep the fire going under my steel
11:13I'm going up and rest a while
11:15Granny, you promised Pa you wouldn't ruin your steel no more
11:19Just to make a little rheumatism medicine
11:22In case I wake up one of these bitter cold nights and get a seizure
11:27Granny, it don't get bitter cold out here
11:30Jethro read in the newspaper where it's going to get 20 below tonight
11:37Of course, that's in Alaska
11:39But if I wake up and think about it, I might get a seizure
11:46Ellie Mae
11:47Down here by the fire
11:52Ellie Mae, what are you doing?
11:53Now, this is illegal, you can get arrested for this
11:56I can't?
11:57Well, absolutely, open fires aren't allowed in this area
12:00Here, I'll be put it out
12:15How am I doing?
12:20Just fine
12:21You got the makings of a first-rate yodeler
12:24Thank you
12:25Oh, say, I got to get back to the car and check in
12:27Check in?
12:28On the radio
12:29Come on, I'll show you
12:30Oh, is it all right?
12:31Sure, come on
12:36Well, I reckon I hadn't better resist an officer of the law
12:40That's right
12:41Just come along quietly
12:42Remember, I've got a gun
12:46Uncle Ted, Granny, come quick
12:48What is it, General?
12:49That policeman arrested Ma
12:50Arrested her?
12:51Yes, sir
12:52He had her by the arm of dragging her out to his police car
12:54I'll go see if he's going here
12:58I wouldn't have called the police if I thought
13:01Granny
13:02You mean you set the police on Pearl?
13:05Your own kin?
13:06I reckon I did, Jed
13:07I don't recollect it quite clear
13:11I guess it's because I'm so old and sick
13:13And ailing and puny and frail
13:15And all crippled up with the rules
13:18Now, don't start that again
13:19Granny, I just can't understand you turning on your own kin
13:22Well, it was just
13:23It was the hot California sun that done it
13:27That's what done it
13:28It softened my poor old brain
13:32You ain't gonna throw me out of the clan, are you, Jed?
13:35Uncle Jed!
13:36He ain't took Ma away yet
13:38They still out front
13:39Maybe it's time to right the wrong you, Dunn
13:41Oh, I will
13:42I will
13:42I'll do anything
13:44Pearl, Pearl
13:45I'm coming, Pearl
13:46I'm coming
13:47I sure wish I could invite you into the kitchen for some coffee and vittles
13:52But Granny's so mean and cantankerous when it comes to
13:56Pearl, forgive me
13:58I'm the one that set the law on you
14:00Please forgive me, Pearl
14:02I'm so ashamed
14:04Forgive me, Pearl
14:06Don't let Jed throw me out of the clan
14:09You set the law on me
14:11Oh, I'm low, Pearl
14:13Awful low and mean
14:15Step on me, Pearl
14:17Step on me
14:18Step on me like you would a worm
14:21Hop on me
14:22Grind your feet on me
14:24Wait, get up out of there, Pearl
14:28Mr. Policeman, run over me
14:32I don't deserve to live
14:34Run over me
14:35And throw my poor old mean body to the buzzard
14:40All right, Granny
14:41Now that's enough
14:42But Pearl hasn't forgiven me yet
14:45Mr. Policeman
14:47Give your gun to Pearl
14:48And let her shoot me
14:50Oh, Granny
14:50Stop that
14:51Put a curse on me, Pearl
14:54Forgive you
14:55I forgive you
14:56But I deserve to be punished
14:58And punished bad
14:59Sing to me, Pearl
15:02Granny, Pearl don't say she forgives you
15:05Am I taken back to the clan?
15:07Am I welcome to the bosom of my family?
15:09I reckon
15:12Pearl, you are me
15:14You can have anything I got any time
15:17You can have any part of my kitchen
15:19Throw me out of it
15:21Set the dogs on me
15:22Take your granny into the house, please
15:25Sure, Ma
15:25Did you want her?
15:27No, I didn't want her
15:28Walk me, Pearl
15:29Oh, Jesus
15:29Okay, come in the house
15:31Come on in the house
15:32And walk me, Pearl
15:35I'm sorry, Mr. Policeman
15:37But Granny, you know
15:38She gets worked up every now and then
15:39I understand
15:40Now I can invite you in the kitchen
15:42To have some vittles and coffee
15:44Oh, no, thanks
15:45I see my partner coming
15:46We'd better get moving
15:49Well, young fella
15:50You find anything missing?
15:51Oh, no, sir
15:52She's got everything
15:52I mean, everything was there
15:54That is around the pool
15:56Well, you come back and see us here
15:58We will
15:59Just keep yodeling
16:00Bye, now
16:00Bye
16:01See you when the roads get better
16:02Bye-bye
16:05It's quite a family, isn't it, Sergeant?
16:07As you young fellas would say
16:09Like, wow
16:10You know, here they are with all these millions
16:12In this big, beautiful mansion
16:14And guess how they heat the water for their swimming pool
16:16How?
16:18Well, they got this big, round kind of copper boiler, see?
16:21And coming out of the top is this kind of spout
16:24And attached to that is this corkscrew tubing
16:26That goes down and leads into a big jar
16:28Right
16:28And they keep this fire going under this big water
16:31Officer Kelly
16:31But imagine how long it would take you
16:34Sit here, boy
16:35Yes, sir?
16:36You have just described a still
16:38A what?
16:39A still
16:40No wonder they got so much money
16:42These people are moonshiners
16:55Pearl, is this bowl big enough?
16:57Cause if it ain't, you just say the word
16:59And I'll fetch another
17:00Well, Ronnie, you don't have to fetch and carry for me
17:03It's my pleasure
17:04It's an honor to be in the same kitchen
17:07With such a good cook as you are
17:09What you making?
17:11Miss Versal sweet potato pie
17:13Did you hear that, kid?
17:14Did you hear what this beautiful cousin of yours is making?
17:18Yeah, I heard, Granny
17:19Pearl
17:21Before I go on to my reward
17:23Would you give me the receipt for that pie?
17:26I want to make it for the angels up yonder
17:30As if they'll take me in after the shameful thing I've done today
17:35Like setting the law on my own kid
17:38A devil got into me, Pearl
17:42Granny, don't go to ballin'
17:44T'was no harm done
17:45But kinfolks should stick together
17:47That's the truth
17:48Blood's thicker than water
17:49Did you hear what Jed said?
17:52Did you hear what Jed said?
17:54That's the wisest thing I ever heard in all my life
17:58Blood is thicker than water
18:02Granny, I didn't make it up
18:04But nobody ever said it like you said it, Jed
18:07It makes me proud to belong to your clan
18:12I do belong, don't I, Jed?
18:15Oh, bless you
18:16Bless you, folks
18:18I don't deserve such good kids
18:20Pure pleasure to see you all getting along at last
18:23Reckon it takes a storm to bring out the rainbow
18:27Did you hear what I said?
18:31Pearl, don't strain yourself from reaching for anything like that here
18:35Stand on me
18:37Oh, Granny, get off
18:39You don't have to wait on me
18:41But I've got to make up for what I've done to you, Pearl
18:45Order me, command me
18:49Well, all right, let me have a couple of pie tins
18:53What else, Pearl?
18:54Hand me the flower
18:59Well, Granny, maybe you could help me later
19:03Right now, I just would kind of like to be in the kitchen by myself
19:07I understand
19:08I've got some things outside I can tend to
19:11It's just I want this potato pie to be special good for Eddie
19:15Who?
19:17Officer Dean, good-looking policeman
19:20Oh, I wouldn't get too sick with the law, Pearl
19:23They can be awful nosy
19:25Oh, Eddie and me's just jodling acquaintances
19:29So far
19:38Remember, Pearl
19:40Where there's the law, there's trouble
19:42As sure as a goose
19:46Goes bare for it
19:53It's a still, all right
19:55There's no question about it
19:56Well, that doesn't mean they're making moonshine
19:58Maybe it's something harmless
20:03I'll show you how harmless it is
20:04Come on
20:15Strike a match
20:20Now toss the match in there
20:21In the water?
20:22Toss it
20:29Hey, Sarge
20:30We're not going to arrest Ellie Mae for this, are we?
20:32I'm sure she's not responsible for it
20:34I don't think Pearl is either
20:36Mr. Clamford seemed like such a wonderful man
20:38It's probably Granny
20:39Anybody who would lie down in front of a police car
20:42And say run over me has got to be gassed
20:44Maybe, maybe Granny doesn't know what's wrong to make that stuff
20:47That's possible
20:48Pearl says she refuses to give up the customs of the hill
20:50Well, looks like Pearl was right
20:53Yeah, and there's Granny's old still to prove it
20:59Be it ever so humble
21:03There's no place like home
21:06Say, Pearl, you seen anything with them two policemen?
21:09Not since they left
21:10Well, that's just it
21:12They didn't
21:12Their police car's still out front
21:14Oh, that Eddie
21:15Oh, I hope he's not so going on me
21:18That he's neglecting his duty
21:21Oh, here's Granny
21:22Back to help you, Pearl
21:23Good
21:23Granny
21:25I need your rendering skillet
21:27I'll see that you get it, Pearl
21:31See, I was just telling Pearl, Granny
21:33That police car's still out front
21:35Aye, I can't figure it myself
21:36But Pearl seems to understand
21:38Uh-huh
21:40Granny, did you find the skillet?
21:42Yeah, Pearl
21:43Well, let me have it
21:47Sure is heartwarming to see you, too
21:51Tranny
21:53What was that loud ringing noise?
21:59Tranny, why in the world did you
22:00I heard the meal gong
22:02It's Vildred
22:03No, don't touch her
22:05She's tainted
22:06Tainted?
22:08That sure is the fancy new meal gong
22:09And me and Skippy
22:10What happened, I told her
22:13Granny whomped her
22:14And I reckon she better tell me
22:15How come right now
22:17Youngins, you know the code of the hills
22:20What is the lowest, meanest, traitorous thing
22:23A friend can do to his neighbor?
22:26Tell the revenuers he's got to steal
22:29Here sits the traitor, the dumbest
22:31She's the one that ain't fit to belong to the clan
22:35Granny, you promised me you wouldn't make no more moonshine
22:37I'm making medicine
22:39Do you want me all gnarled up and twisted in the grip of my rheumatist?
22:43Is that the thanks I get for working my poor old fingers to the bones?
22:47The honor comes the law, two policemen
22:50Barricade the door
22:51I'll lift the table
22:52They pour your body across it and we'll shoot from behind you
22:55Whoa
22:56Ellie, you get the flag
22:59Jethro, you get the guns
23:00And I'll throw rives at them till you get back
23:05Nobody do nothing
23:06We ain't gonna fight the law
23:08We ain't gonna fight
23:09Whatever we, a clan or a nest of mice
23:12You heard me
23:13Jethro, you and Ellie take some of that cold water
23:15Bring your maw or two
23:15I'll take care of the law
23:20Clabby, we'd like to talk to you about that still down by the swimming pool
23:23Yes, sir
23:23I feared you'd catch me sooner or later
23:25Well, I'm ready to go with you
23:27I'd make no trouble
23:28Are you the one who's running at it?
23:29Me and me only
23:32Paul ain't running it
23:33It's me
23:33That's my still, ain't it, Jethro?
23:35No, sir
23:36That's my still
23:38Don't listen to these young'uns
23:39It's my still
23:40Now, come on
23:41Arrest me
23:41Let's get it over with
23:42Well, that ain't true
23:44If you wanna know who that still belongs to
23:47I'll tell ya
23:50It's me
23:52Pearl
23:54Put the handcuffs on me
23:55Now, just a darn minute
23:56Ain't nobody gonna take credit for my work, except me
24:00And if it's again the law to make a little rheumatism medicine
24:03Then take me to the chain gang
24:06No, take me
24:07That's not me
24:08That's mine
24:09It's like we's all going to the chain gang
24:11Nobody will go anywhere
24:13If Granny will promise to stop making rheumatism medicine
24:17Well, I reckon what I made today will hold me through the winter
24:21Well, I wouldn't count on that
24:23You see, we accidentally spilled all the evidence into the swimming pool
24:26Swimming pool?
24:28Oh, poor Charlie
24:30Who's Charlie?
24:32My pet duck
24:37Pick up
24:56You best get some coffee to go in, Granny
24:59Looks like we got a drunk duck on our hands
25:01One thing, he ain't never gonna be bothered with rheumatism
25:24Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin
25:28And they would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in
25:31We're all invited back next week to this locality
25:35To have a heaping helping of their hospitality
25:39Hillbilly, that is
25:40Set a spell
25:42Take your shoes off
25:43Y'all come back now, hear?
25:45Thank you
25:45To be continued
25:47Thank you
25:48You
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