- il y a 2 jours
The Beverly Hillbillies (season 1) s01e17-jed-s-dilemma
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed.
00:04A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.
00:06And then one day he was shooting at some crude.
00:09And up through the ground come a bubble and crude.
00:12Oil, that is.
00:13Black gold.
00:15Texas tea.
00:17Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
00:20The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.
00:23Said, California's the place you ought to be.
00:25So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.
00:27Beverly Hills, that is.
00:30Swimming pools.
00:32Movie stars.
00:33The Beverly Hillbillies.
00:53Now come along and visit with the Clampett family.
00:57As they learn the simple pleasures of the hills of Beverly.
01:01That includes the products of your sponsor of the week.
01:05The cereals of Kellogg's.
01:07Kellogg's of Battle Creek.
01:09K-E-double-L.
01:10O-double-good.
01:11Kellogg's best to you.
01:27You ought to be ashamed to let me sleep this late.
01:29My half the day is gone.
01:31It's putting me a son up.
01:32Man who takes a life.
01:33I ain't stayed a bed this late in 72 years.
01:38Morning, Granny.
01:39Now, Jed, though, don't you yell at me.
01:40I'm going to get breakfast just as soon as I can.
01:43Ma's done give us breakfast already, Granny.
01:45And now she's got us cleaning the house from top to bottom.
01:48How come no one woke me?
01:49Well, she says we ain't supposed to wake you.
01:51That's how come she shut off your alarm clock.
01:54So Pearl done it.
01:56I'm sorry I took it out on you, clock.
01:58Oh, good morning, Granny.
02:02How's your rheumatid?
02:03What rheumatid?
02:04Well, Pearl says she was having some twinges last night.
02:07That's how come she put a little Mountain Dew into your squirrel soup?
02:12Pearl spiked my soup?
02:15Yeah, she figured it would help you to sleep.
02:18And you was liking it, too, Granny.
02:20You kept asking for another slug of soup.
02:23Well, that's because I couldn't believe that Pearl could make such good soup.
02:27Really?
02:29What are you doing up?
02:31Hey, Pearl said I was to give you your breakfast in bed.
02:34Beds is for sleeping, not eating.
02:35Well, Aunt Pearl said her body had to be weighed on and took care of when it gets to be
02:39your age.
02:40My age?
02:41Boy, I'm in a prime of life.
02:43And you tell your Aunt Pearl that...
02:45Never mind, I'll tell her myself.
02:47Nah, don't get riled up at Pearl.
02:49I reckon she's just trying to be helpful.
02:51She's about as helpful as an alligator in a swimming hole.
02:57I'd rather be caught twixt a pair of scrapping bobcats
03:01than two women trying to run the same house.
03:06Granny, I was just fetching this up to your room.
03:10Ma figured you'd probably want to sit and rock a spell
03:12when you was feeling strong enough to get out of bed.
03:14Yes, Green, you take that back outside.
03:16And while you're at it, you fetch some flowers for your Ma's sick room.
03:20Ma ain't sick.
03:21Eh, she ain't met up with me yet.
03:23Where is she?
03:23In the kitchen doing the ironing.
03:26Ironing?
03:26I ain't done the washing yet.
03:28Ma done that while you were still in bed.
03:30All by herself?
03:31Oh, no.
03:32She had all of us helping.
03:34Ma gets a kick out of running things.
03:36She's going to get a kick that she ain't looking for.
03:38I want to boot her so hard that every time she sets down,
03:42she'll leave my footprints.
03:46Makes a lot.
03:48With all these newfangled gadgets,
03:50work around here is just plain.
03:54Where are you going with that, Jeffrey?
03:56Outside.
03:57I told you to take it up to Granny's bedroom.
04:00Granny told me to take it outside.
04:01You're taking your orders from me and not from Granny.
04:04That poor woman is old and tired,
04:07and we owe it to her to let her rest.
04:11Just hope and pray when I get to be her age
04:14that somebody will be looking after me.
04:19You can quit hoping and praying.
04:21And if you keep messing around my kitchen,
04:23you ain't going to get to be my age.
04:27Don't stand there.
04:29Do as Granny says.
04:30Take it outside.
04:32How do you feel, Granny?
04:33Did you sleep off the soup?
04:34I mean, did the soup...
04:36Did the soup help you to sleep?
04:38Now, you listen to me, Pearl, and you listen good.
04:41When you was a baby and you needed it, I spanked you.
04:43And when you was a toddler, I paddled you.
04:46And when you was a young'un, I swished you.
04:48And I can still do it, Pearl.
04:50Besides, the target's a heap much bigger today.
04:54Honey, don't be wrong.
04:55You was looking poorly last night,
04:57and I figured you needed a little rest.
04:59Honest, you look like the dogs that had you under the porch.
05:07You can't scare me with that.
05:09I've got a head of steam bigger than it has.
05:12You want to make pretty music
05:13when you make a check like this, Uncle Jed?
05:15Now, that ain't for playing with, Jethro.
05:17You bust that, and you hear Ma'll tan, you're good.
05:20Mom?
05:21I didn't wash the front of the house
05:23as high up as I can get.
05:24I'll need a ladder to get the whole thing.
05:27We didn't get you to wash the whole outside the house?
05:29Yes, sir.
05:30She said every inch of it.
05:32Well, if she ain't the cleanest woman.
05:34Well, come on, I'll help you.
05:38Granny?
05:38Now, Granny, I told you, Jethro,
05:42you could hurt a body with a hard skillet like that.
05:45Oh, Jethro, protect your mom.
05:47How can Granny hurt your mom?
05:49You said she was too old to get out of bed.
05:51I don't know if she was too old to get out of bed.
05:53She does.
05:54Oh, oh, oh.
05:58Hi, Jethro, that looks like mine.
06:02I'll swing you now,
06:04but you've got to swing my leg.
06:11I told you that wasn't for playing on
06:13and I'll get down from there.
06:15Come on.
06:15Come on, man.
06:16Fire him.
06:17Get your big overgrown boy off the chandelier.
06:19I'll get him off of there
06:20if you get Granny off of me.
06:24Granny?
06:25You say he's trying to kill me.
06:28Oh.
06:28That's enough.
06:29It's gone far enough.
06:31All of you.
06:36Now, Jethro's gone to fetch the truck around
06:38and we's all going for a nice long drive
06:40and cool off some of the tempers in his family.
06:43Aunt Pearl, ain't Cousin Jethraena coming?
06:46Oh, no, honey.
06:47She wants to practice her singing.
06:50She can go sightseeing another time.
07:09Listen to that.
07:11You ought to be ashamed of yourself running off
07:14and leaving a child that's sick.
07:16If Raina ain't sick, she's singing.
07:18Well, she's singing sick.
07:20For your information, my daughter's training for the stage.
07:24Well, now, that's one thing she can do.
07:26Drive a stage.
07:27Ah, this is snap of a backbiting twixt you two
07:31has got to stop.
07:32Quick as Jethro gets here with the truck,
07:34we're going to take a nice long drive
07:36and show Pearl some amazing sight.
07:38She ain't never going to see no more amazing sights
07:40than she sees every morning when she looks in the mirror.
07:43I wouldn't talk if I was you.
07:45Lucky, Pop.
07:46Here comes a truck and there's nobody driving it.
07:55What's the trouble, Jethro?
07:57It's out of gas, Uncle Jed.
07:58They ain't even enough to get to the filling station.
08:01Yeah, I'll tell you what, sir.
08:02You run the house to get Granny Jug, the big one.
08:06Oh!
08:07Don't tell me that child ain't sick.
08:10Nobody makes a noise like that on purpose.
08:12You're going to be sorry you said them things
08:14when Jeff Green commences singing
08:16with a big orchestra like Rudy Valli.
08:19Who?
08:21Rudy Valli and his Connecticut Yankees.
08:24Did you hear that, Jed?
08:26Your traitor cousin Pearl is letting her daughter
08:28desert to the Yankees.
08:35Well, I reckon they're getting what they deserve.
08:41Here you are, Pop.
08:42Thank you, Lemmy.
08:52Now, Jethro, see if hell's starting.
08:54Okay, Uncle Jed.
08:57If Jethro and me, he's going to get gas.
09:35Guess what, Ma?
09:36They tell me at school there's lots of movie stars
09:38live on this street.
09:39Oh, do you reckon that Francis X. Bushman
09:42lives in one of them houses?
09:44I mean, it's friends.
09:45Oh, my stars and garters.
09:47If I was to meet him face to face,
09:49I'd faint that way.
09:52So would he.
09:54What'd she say, Ellie?
09:56What'd she say?
09:57Look at that big house down there.
09:58I bet you the movie star lives in that one.
10:00Oh, Jethro, drive up the driveway
10:02and I'll go to the door and ask for directions.
10:05Directions to where, Ma?
10:07Directions to the next corner.
10:08Who cares?
10:10You didn't stop.
10:12I know how to get to the next corner.
10:15Now we've passed it.
10:17That might have been Raymond Navarro's house.
10:19I might have got acquainted with him
10:20and told him how I play piano
10:22at the movie theater back home.
10:24Well, I could have played and sung
10:26the song I wrote for the chariot race
10:29in Ben-Hur.
10:30Slipper down, Pearl.
10:31I don't reckon that was Mr. Navarro's house.
10:34I got a good look up the driveway
10:36as we passed.
10:37The barn door was open.
10:38There wasn't a span of horses
10:39or a chariot in there.
10:41Well, slow down anyway, Jethro.
10:44Plan sakes, if I was to see
10:45Rod LaRock or John Gilbert
10:48or Hoot Gibson, why?
10:49I wouldn't even have time
10:51to ask for their autograph.
10:54Some women is just plain man crazy.
10:57What'd she say, Allie?
10:59Well, she said some women...
11:00Let's drive down to the business part
11:02of town, Jethro,
11:03and show Pearl some of the beautiful
11:05buildings and stores they got there.
11:07Okay, Uncle Jet.
11:08Tell your Aunt Pearl not to fret.
11:10They's been there, too.
11:12Hey, look.
11:13Never mind, Allie.
11:14Drive on, Jethro.
11:16I think we'll see some movie stars
11:18down there.
11:28Come in, folks.
11:30The movie's about to begin.
11:32By the way, the wax figures out front
11:34are by courtesy of the Beverly Hills
11:36Movie Museum.
11:39Ducky ain't, Pearl.
11:41There's a movie picture
11:42to you up yonder.
11:43Yeah.
11:44I wonder if they need
11:45a right, good, first-class
11:47piano player.
11:48Why, do you know one?
11:50Now, I have taken all...
11:51Say, Pearl.
11:52Ain't them movie stars
11:54out in front of that theater?
11:56Top of my Jethro.
12:01I can't believe it.
12:03It's Douglas Fairbanks,
12:05Rudolph Valentino,
12:06and William S. Hart.
12:08I have never seen one woman
12:09as band-crazy
12:10and movie star-crazy
12:11as William S. Hart.
12:14Send me off of here.
12:15That's true.
12:16Drive on for
12:17or we embarrass them
12:17poor fellas.
12:19Bill, honey,
12:19you're the hero.
12:21Yoo-hoo,
12:21Yoo-hoo,
12:22Hey!
12:23Hey!
12:23Hey!
12:24Hey!
12:24Hey!
12:25Hey!
12:26Hey!
12:26Hey!
12:27Hey!
12:28Hey!
12:29Hey!
12:29Hey!
12:30Hey!
12:30Hey!
12:41Well, how'd you like it, Pearl?
12:43Oh, dear!
12:45That was the most thrilling,
12:46most exciting thing
12:47that ever happened to me.
12:49Seen all them movie stars.
12:51Did you see how old Bill Hart
12:53stood there
12:54with them steely eyes
12:55just staring at me?
12:56Do you bet, you granny?
12:57Well, look,
12:58Rudolph Valentino
12:59kind of gave me
12:59a scorcher of a look, too.
13:01He sure did, Pearl.
13:02How about them green drawers
13:04that Mr. Fairbanks
13:05was wearing?
13:06Yeah, did.
13:07You ought to dye
13:08your drawers that color,
13:09Ellie.
13:11Oh, Pearl,
13:11red's my color.
13:14Hey, Jethro,
13:15let's go for a swim.
13:16I'm too hungry, Ellie Mae.
13:17All that driving around
13:18give me an appetite.
13:19Yeah, I reckon
13:20all that fresh air
13:21give us all the appetite.
13:22I'm emptying
13:23last year's bird's nest
13:24myself.
13:25Buddy, time to.
13:26I reckon I got time
13:27for a little friend
13:28before Biddle.
13:29Hurry up, Ellie Mae.
13:30I could eat a horse.
13:31Just everybody relax.
13:34I'll have Biddle's
13:35the cooking
13:35before you can say
13:36Jack Robertson.
13:37Jack Robertson.
13:39And you stay
13:40out of my kitchen.
13:42I believe that kitchen
13:44happens to belong
13:45to my cousin, Jake.
13:47Well, I's a granny
13:48and granny's
13:49is closer than cousins.
13:50Now, when the granny's
13:51on the wife's side,
13:52I've got clamped blood
13:53in my baby's.
13:57You want to keep it there,
13:58you stay out
13:59of my kitchen.
14:01Hey, Uncle Jed,
14:03come on back.
14:03Today's going to be a fight.
14:05I don't fight
14:06nobody twice my age.
14:09There ain't nobody
14:09twice your age.
14:10I'll happen to be
14:11on the sunny side
14:12of 45.
14:13Well, then move
14:13into the shade.
14:14You're drying up
14:14something awful.
14:18Now, hold on, hold on.
14:19Who's closer related
14:20to you, Jed?
14:21Her or me?
14:22I is,
14:23because I's a granny.
14:24You're a mother-in-law.
14:25I'm blood cousin.
14:26You're going to be...
14:27Now, I reckon you're both
14:29just as close related
14:30to me as folks can be
14:32because I love you
14:33both equal
14:34and it'd pleasure me
14:35if you'd shake hands
14:36and come out fighting.
14:38Come on now,
14:39shake hands.
14:41Granny,
14:42you start it off.
14:42Come on.
14:45Now, shake hands.
14:47Come on, granny,
14:48shake hands with Pearl.
14:53Say something nice
14:55to Pearl.
14:57Come on,
14:58say something nice.
15:01Pearl?
15:03I never did see
15:04anything prettier
15:05than the weather
15:06is today.
15:09Now, granny.
15:11Well, that was friendly.
15:13Well, say something
15:14nice and friendly
15:15about Pearl.
15:20Don't force her, Jack.
15:22You ain't forcing her.
15:23She's just trying
15:24to think up
15:24something extra special
15:25nice now.
15:26Eat your granny.
15:27Yeah,
15:28and it ain't easy.
15:30Oh, Pearl.
15:31She's always bragging on you.
15:33How pretty are you?
15:34What a nice figure you got?
15:36I bragged on Pearl's figure.
15:39You sure did.
15:39You said Pearl
15:40got the kind of figure
15:41a man likes.
15:43Yep.
15:44And then I said,
15:45too bad a man
15:46didn't get it
15:46instead of Pearl.
15:49I wouldn't talk
15:49if I had a figure
15:50as bony as you.
15:51Now, girl.
15:52You're built
15:53like a sack full
15:54of horseshoes.
15:58And you're built
15:59like a sack full
16:00of doorknobs.
16:01Now, let me tell you
16:02that about the thing.
16:03Uncle James,
16:04you're breaking up
16:04a good fight.
16:05Yeah, so why don't you
16:06go out and help
16:06your sister, Jethreen?
16:07What's she doing?
16:08I don't know.
16:09If I know what she's doing,
16:10then go help her.
16:10Oh, you never let me
16:11have any fun.
16:12Nothing.
16:12I'm asking you
16:13just as nice as I know
16:14how to stop
16:15all this backbiting
16:16and bickering.
16:17You're both fine-looking
16:19women.
16:19I'm proud to be
16:20kin to you.
16:21Why, if folks
16:22didn't know,
16:24they'd think you
16:24was Ellie Mae's
16:25sisters.
16:25Huh?
16:26Oh, Ellie, honey.
16:32Why don't you
16:33take these two
16:34pretty girls
16:34swimming down
16:35to the seaman pond?
16:36I don't want
16:36to cool them off.
16:37In the dead
16:38or winter?
16:39Oh, the water stays
16:40warm all year round,
16:41ain't, Pearl?
16:42Yeah, must be fed
16:43by some kind of
16:44hot mineral springs
16:45or something.
16:45Aw.
16:47That ought to be
16:48mighty good
16:49for your rheumatiz,
16:50Granny.
16:50And I'll fix lunch
16:52while you're swimming.
16:53I told you
16:54to stay out
16:55of my kitchen.
16:56And I told you
16:57that my...
16:57Now, this is enough.
16:59And I hear
17:00one more word
17:01spoke in anger
17:02out of either one
17:02of you.
17:03Dog, if I ain't
17:04gonna take a switch
17:04to you.
17:06Hey, Pearl,
17:07Granny ain't
17:07too fond of swimming.
17:08But I'd be mighty
17:09proud if you'd
17:10go with me.
17:11Aw, that's a mighty
17:12sweet invite, Ellie Mae.
17:14Pearl, did you bring
17:15some swimming clothes?
17:16Yeah, I did.
17:18Well, now,
17:19you won't long
17:19get into them.
17:21But I don't...
17:22Come on,
17:23put them on.
17:27Bye, doggies.
17:29I bet you
17:29Pearl in them
17:30swimming clothes
17:31has got the figure
17:32of a young girl.
17:33She better give it back
17:34before she stretches
17:35it out of shape
17:36anymore.
17:37I didn't say it
17:38in anger.
17:39I'm smiling.
17:51Well, I'm ready
17:52for the water.
17:55Looks like she's
17:56been in it for six
17:57days.
18:01Pearl, you are one
18:02of the finest-looking
18:03women ever to come
18:04down out of the hill.
18:05And you're extra
18:06fetching in your
18:07swimming clothes.
18:07I made it myself.
18:09The tickets, you say?
18:11It's all handwork.
18:12No.
18:13Yep.
18:14Every gore and gusset
18:16and dark and tuck
18:17and ruffling and rick
18:18like I did it all
18:19myself.
18:20And doggies,
18:21that's mighty pretty.
18:22And so are you,
18:23Pearl.
18:23Granny, did you ever
18:25see anything like
18:26Pearl in her bathing
18:27suit?
18:29No, sir, I ain't.
18:33Come on,
18:34I'll show you the pond.
18:35Allie Kee and Jethro
18:36is down there
18:36waiting for you.
18:39Cousin Allie,
18:40while we're waiting
18:41for these hemlocks
18:42to a file,
18:42I'll race you to the
18:43fur end of the pond
18:44and back.
18:44Yeah, I'll wait
18:45till I get on
18:46this swimming cap.
18:48Doggone, I wish
18:49you didn't have
18:49to wear this.
18:50Granny says that
18:51pond water's bad
18:52on my hair.
18:53Well, why don't you
18:53cut some of that
18:54hair off?
18:55Hey, that's a dandy
18:56idea.
18:56Would you do it
18:57for me, Jethro?
18:58Yeah, sure.
18:59If I could find
19:00something to...
19:00Hey, there's some
19:01shears.
19:02Try to get off
19:02close to my head,
19:03Jethro.
19:04Okay.
19:04I want it short
19:05as yours.
19:06Well, hold still.
19:08I don't want to
19:09shorten your head,
19:09none.
19:10Jethro!
19:11Yeah, Uncle Jeth?
19:13Hold on, man.
19:15What do you think
19:15you're doing?
19:16Fixing to cut
19:16Ellie's hair.
19:18Why get off
19:19short, Pastor,
19:20as it won't get
19:20in my eyes
19:21when I swim.
19:22I'd sooner cut
19:23off my arm
19:24than that beautiful
19:24hair of yours.
19:26Now, don't you
19:27never get a notion
19:27like that in your
19:28head again,
19:28nor are you
19:29neither.
19:29You mean I gotta
19:30let my hair grow
19:30longer, Jethro.
19:32Jethro, why don't
19:33you try using
19:33your head for
19:34thinking?
19:35I have tried, Ma,
19:36and it hurts.
19:38Keep eye on these
19:40two.
19:40I gotta go back
19:40up the house.
19:41I will, Jed.
19:43Hey, Ma,
19:44you want to race
19:44Ellie and me
19:45to the fur end
19:45of the pond
19:46and back?
19:47In the water?
19:48Yes.
19:49And get my
19:50swimming suit wet?
19:51Yeah.
19:52Oh, you do
19:54bear watching,
19:55both of you.
20:00Is them ham hocks?
20:02Yeah, Ma.
20:03Where'd they
20:04come from?
20:05From pigs,
20:05I reckon.
20:07How did they
20:08get here?
20:09I took them
20:09out of the icebox.
20:10I was getting
20:11awful hungry.
20:12Was you gonna
20:12eat them raw?
20:14Course not.
20:15Huh.
20:15I was gonna
20:15keep my swimming
20:16trunks on.
20:20Ellie, Ma.
20:21Yeah, girl?
20:22What is this thing?
20:23It looks like
20:23a stove on wheels.
20:25Well, that's
20:25what it is.
20:26It's called
20:26a portable barbecue.
20:28You just put
20:28a fire in there,
20:29then you lay
20:30the meat on
20:30this thing.
20:32All right.
20:33Ellie, May,
20:33you fetch
20:34some firewood.
20:35Jeffro,
20:35you slice
20:36them ham hocks.
20:43What would you
20:43like to hear
20:44next, Uncle Jed?
20:45Well, uh,
20:46can you play
20:47Dixie?
20:48Why, sure.
20:49I sure do
20:50like to sing
20:50that song.
20:51It's right
20:51good for dancing,
20:52too.
20:53Would you
20:53do it, Jig?
20:55Well, if the
20:56music happens
20:56to get down
20:57around my feet,
20:58I might just
20:59cut loose
20:59and stomp
21:00a spell.
21:01Better take
21:01my coat off
21:02just in case
21:02it does.
21:10Oh, I wish
21:14I was in the
21:15land of cotton.
21:17Old times there
21:18is not forgotten.
21:20Look away,
21:21look away,
21:23look away,
21:24Dixie land.
21:27I wish I was in Dixie,
21:29hooray, hooray,
21:32in Dixieland
21:33I'll take my stand
21:34to live and die in Dixie.
21:36Away, away, away,
21:38away, away,
21:38down south in Dixie.
21:40Away, away, away,
21:42away, down south in Dixie.
21:50Away, away, away, away,
22:04away, away, away, away from
22:08Pearl and Dixie.
22:10I wish I was in Dixie,
22:13away, away, away from
22:14Pearl, away from
22:15Pearl and old Pearl
22:17and away from
22:17Pearl and Dixie.
22:18Oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:50Mmm, boy, ain't nothin' smells as good as ham a-cookin', Ma.
22:55That's the truth.
22:57Wait till Jethreen get the whiff of this.
22:59Ham is her favorite.
23:01Mine too, Ma.
23:02Come on, hurry up.
23:06Jethreen, what is that delicious smell I'm a-smellin'?
23:16It smells like ham a-cookin', Uncle Jeth.
23:19Well, let's get on down to the Seaman Pond, tell everybody we're gonna have ham.
23:26That is a shortcut.
23:34When the family tastes these riddles, they ain't never gonna let Pearl near the kitchen again.
23:45Mmm, good.
23:48Come on, get it.
23:50Come on, get it.
23:52Come on, get it.
23:59Come on, everybody.
24:01Vizzles on.
24:03Man's sakes.
24:05They're all so hungry, they can't get up.
24:14Come on, Jethro.
24:15I know you keep makin'.
24:17Oh, please, Granny.
24:18We just done eat five hams.
24:25Dad?
24:27Granny.
24:28Them little hams is the best you ever cooked.
24:31I didn't cook no hams.
24:35I cooked them, Granny.
24:39How'd you get in my kitchen without me seeing you?
24:42I cooked them on this here stove with wheels.
24:46Ma can cook anywhere.
24:51Well, let's see her cook where I'm gonna cook.
24:54Don't do it, Granny.
25:01Don't do it, Granny.
25:02Just a minute.
25:03The answer's no.
25:05No.
25:26Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
25:30And they would like to thank you folks for kindly droppin' in.
25:33We're all invited back next week to this locality
25:36To have a heapin' helpin' of their hospitality.
25:41Hillbilly, that is.
25:42Set a spell.
25:44Take your shoes off.
25:46Y'all come back now.
25:47Hear?
25:47Wednesdays.
25:47Bye, bye.
25:48Bye.
25:48Bye.
25:49Bye.
25:49Bye.
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