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The Beverly Hillbillies s01e18-jed-saves-the-drysdales-marriage
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00:00Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed.
00:03A poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed.
00:06And then one day he was shooting at some food.
00:09And up through the ground come a bubble and crude.
00:12Oil, that is.
00:13Black gold.
00:15Texas tea.
00:17Well, the first thing you know, old Jed's a millionaire.
00:20The kinfolk said, Jed, move away from there.
00:23Said, California is the place you ought to be.
00:25So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly.
00:27Hills, that is.
00:30Swimming pools.
00:32Movie stars.
00:33The Beverly Hillbillies.
00:53Now come along and visit with the Clampett family.
00:57As they learn the simple pleasures of the hills of Beverly.
01:01That includes the products of your sponsor of the week.
01:05The cereals of Kellogg's.
01:07Kellogg's of Battle Creek.
01:09K-E-double-L.
01:10O-double-good.
01:11Kellogg's.
01:11Best to you.
01:24You know something, Granny?
01:25I feel sorry for Mr. Drysdale.
01:27Well, that poor man might as well be single with his wife gone all the time.
01:30He's a lost soul, Jed.
01:33I was glad you invited him over for supper last night.
01:35But even my cooking didn't cheer him up.
01:38Yeah, I noticed he hardly touched his plate of grits and possum belly.
01:43Even when I spooned on some gopher gravy.
01:47He didn't perk up till after supper and Pearl started playing and singing.
01:51Don't tell me he liked Pearl's bellering.
01:54That wasn't bellering.
01:55That was yodeling.
01:57Well, it curdled the milk clean out to the kitchen.
02:00Oh, I throwed shoes at Tomcats that made prettier music than Pearl.
02:05I sure wish you two women'd get along together.
02:09We ain't gonna get along together till she learns to stay out of my kitchen.
02:13I bet she's in there right now sticking her long nose into my pots and pans.
02:18By these.
02:20If she is.
02:22I'll grant you just cool down.
02:27Really me.
02:28Jeff Green, what in the world have you been doing?
02:30Playing ball with some fellas down in the pasture.
02:32What's that thing?
02:34Well, this year's what you call a football helmet.
02:38Really me, I'm pretty near positive that a ball gown ain't for playing ball in.
02:44Well, the fellas seem to like it, didn't they, Jeff Green?
02:47They sure do, Uncle Jack.
02:49They's waiting for us right now to get some money to buy a new football.
02:53What happened to that one?
02:54Well, Jeff Green was gonna throw me a pie.
02:56But I grabbed it too hard and it busted.
02:59I ain't gonna give you the money for another one.
03:02Oh, heck.
03:04Well, that's all right, Jeff Green.
03:06Remember, they said they'd be just as glad to play with us without a football.
03:10Come on.
03:22I warned you to stay out of my kitchen.
03:24Oh, Jeff, save you more.
03:26Protect me from that wild woman.
03:28Hold her, Jeff, so I can pack her.
03:29Granny, a thing like that could smart.
03:31I don't care.
03:33Put me down.
03:35Hey, what's going on here?
03:36Jeff, put your granny down.
03:38She was fixing to whomp Ma.
03:40I'll whomp her.
03:41Here, Ma, now it's a fair fight.
03:43I don't know who you're gonna whomp nobody.
03:45Well, then you tell Pearl the next time she sticks her nose in one of my pots, I'm gonna cook
03:49it.
03:49It is my bond and duty as a mother to supervise the vittles of my growing children.
03:56Don't tell me they are still growing.
03:59The Clampett side of the family has always been big, strong, strapping folks.
04:06It's your family that brought in the runts.
04:09Who do you call a runt?
04:11I think she meant you, Granny.
04:13He's about as helpful as a high wind in a prayer fire.
04:16Come on, Pearl.
04:17You and me are gonna have a talk.
04:18Jeff, you stay here and help your granny cool down.
04:22Okay, Uncle Jed.
04:25Granny, would you rather I held you under the faucet here to cool off or took you out to the
04:29cement pond and ducked you?
04:31Try either one and I'll bash you flatter than a gander's arch.
04:37Now, Pearl.
04:38Cousin Jed, I know just what you're gonna say.
04:41You're gonna say, Pearl, stay out of the kitchen.
04:44You're gonna say, that's Granny's kitchen and it's none of your business.
04:48You're gonna say, stay in your room where you belong.
04:51That's what you're gonna say, ain't it?
04:53Ain't nothing like it at all.
04:55What I was gonna say was, it seems to me that a handsome widow woman in a prime of life
05:00ought not to be hiding herself in the back part of the house,
05:03working over steaming pots and pans and dipping her panty, playing fingers into soapy water
05:08and horsing up her beautiful singing voice yelling at Granny.
05:11That's what I was gonna say.
05:13Praise be.
05:14Why don't I keep my big mouth shut and just listen?
05:17You know, Pearl, you got the gift to making music.
05:20And I reckon there ain't nothing these city fellas likes better than that.
05:24Really, Jed?
05:25Yeah, remember last night Mr. Drysdale was here and you was playing and singing and yodeling for him?
05:29Yeah.
05:30You brung that poor lonesome man a lot of happiness.
05:34Jed, you ain't agreeing in me, are you?
05:36I'll give you my word.
05:37Remember that song you sung, The Flowers That Bloom in the Spring, Trala?
05:40Yeah.
05:41Well, you had Mr. Drysdale believing it was spring.
05:43No.
05:44Yeah.
05:45While you were still singing, he went and flung open the window, stuck his head out and started
05:48taking deep breaths just like he was really smelling them flowers.
05:51You reckon he liked my yodeling?
05:53Pearl, he liked it went wild.
05:55Well, I reckon them city fellas don't get a chance to hear much yodeling.
05:58Because when you throwed your head back and cut loose, it really grabbed a hold of him.
06:03It did?
06:04He gripped the arms of his chair until his knuckles turned white.
06:07Then he commenced to rocking back and forth and moaning like he's under some kind of a spell.
06:12And his eyes commenced to circling in his head, and real tears run down his cheeks.
06:18Before you got done, he was limp as a dishrag.
06:20I had to help him to the door.
06:23Uncle Jed, I can't seem to do nothing to cool Granny off.
06:26Ain't no need to, Jethro.
06:28Your pretty, young, panty-playing ma has decided not to hide herself away out in the kitchen.
06:34That's a good idea, Ma, because Granny, she'd find you and whomp you.
06:38Well, we'll hear about that.
06:39Well, you stay out here and practice playing and singing and yodeling.
06:43I'll take care of Granny.
06:47I wonder if I should have told Uncle Jed that Granny's waiting behind the door with a skillet
06:52to whomp the first person that sets foot in her kitchen.
06:56I reckon I should have.
06:58Oh, Jed, I'm sorry.
07:01I thought it was Pearl coming in.
07:05Granny, you done shorting me.
07:07I'll make her pull this for your head right away now, Jed.
07:10Right away.
07:17I'm telling you, Granny, you don't have to worry no more about Pearl coming in your kitchen.
07:21She's going to be spending her time getting herself a husband with her, singing and yodeling.
07:24Jed, it ain't legal to torture a man into marrying you.
07:28You just don't realize the power of Pearl's yodeling's got over men.
07:31Last night, Mr. Drysdale liked it went wild.
07:35Brittany drove me crazy, too.
07:38He loved it, Granny.
07:40I'll bet you he's got that yodeling ring in his ears right now.
07:45Now, I can still hear it.
07:47Unearthly screeching.
07:49Now, Chief, surely it wasn't that bad.
07:51Well, I can best describe it as the sound a woman might make if she were having her appendix removed
07:56without an anesthetic.
08:00Susan, darling.
08:02Margaret, I'm so glad to have you back, dear.
08:07What a cunning hat, dear.
08:09Is it you?
08:10Oh.
08:13Welcome home, Mrs. Drysdale.
08:15Melbourne, I have the most marvelous news.
08:18I'm going to a health farm in Arizona.
08:22What?
08:22Some women were talking about it on the plane.
08:24It's terribly chic, quite expensive, and you don't need any willpower.
08:28They just force you to be healthy.
08:30The doctors are all deliciously mean.
08:34But, Margaret, you are healthy.
08:36Every doctor in the United States says you're healthy.
08:39But, dear, this is different.
08:41They reduce you as well.
08:44Margaret, if you want to lose weight, just stay home and we'll have dinner at the Clampetts every night.
08:49Now, you can't eat the food, but you won't leave hungry.
08:51Ah, because Cousin Pearl will utile your appetite away.
08:57But, Melbourne, it's so fashionable to go to a health farm.
09:00Oh, Margaret, please stay home and run the place for a while.
09:03You have plenty of servants.
09:04Yes, but we have no one to manage the place.
09:06And with both of us away most of the time, the servants are asleep on the job.
09:10Well, just hire a good, efficient housekeeper.
09:13Oh, yes, just try and find one.
09:15Oh, Margaret, please stay home.
09:19All right, that's the way you feel.
09:22Miss Hathaway!
09:25I'll stay home, just as you wish.
09:27That's my darling.
09:29Yes, Mrs. Drorosdale?
09:31Telephone the pharmacy and have all my prescriptions refilled.
09:34And call my psychiatrist, my neurologist, my internist and my osteopath and have them come over.
09:40Oh, and I'll need nurses around the clock.
09:43I just know this servant problem's going to bring on a nervous breakdown.
09:48All right, all right, go to the health farm.
09:50No, no.
09:53My place is at home.
09:55Please go to the health farm.
09:58All right.
10:00If you're sure that's what you want.
10:02Oh, I want it, I want it, I want it.
10:05Milford, I promised to come back a new woman.
10:08Goodbye.
10:10Just think, Milford, you'll have a young, glamorous wife.
10:14Slim, trim, beautiful.
10:19All right, start looking for a new housekeeper.
10:22Won't do any good, Chief.
10:22We've been through this with...
10:27Mr. Drorosdale's office.
10:29Who's calling, please?
10:30Uh, tell him it's a surprise.
10:33Surprise?
10:34That's what she says.
10:36Milford Drorosdale speaking.
10:43What in the world is that?
10:45That is Ferrell Bodine yodeling.
10:47Now, when she comes up for air, tell her I was drafted.
10:49Gee, she might be the answer to your housekeeping problem.
10:52What?
10:52Uh, be nice to her, I'll explain.
10:54Hello?
10:55Hello?
10:56Hello, Mrs. Bodine.
10:57How nice to hear your voice again.
10:59Hello?
11:01What are you saying?
11:03Mr. Clavitt says that Pearl is such an industrious housekeeper that Granny is jealous.
11:06She might take over your house and hers and solve both your problems.
11:09What about that yodeling?
11:11I won't be there.
11:12And I defy any service to sleep on the job with Pearl around.
11:16Hello?
11:17Hello, Mrs. Bodine.
11:18I wonder if I might come over and talk to you for a while.
11:22Talk to me?
11:24Well, what about?
11:25Well, I think you may be just the woman I've been looking for.
11:29Yeah?
11:30Do you take over the running of my house?
11:32Well, well, yes.
11:34It could come right ahead.
11:36Can we say three o'clock?
11:38Let's say two.
11:40Goodbye.
11:47Will you stop that infernal caterwauling of yours?
11:51It might be infernal caterwauling to you, but it's pure catnip to man.
12:08Why, looky there.
12:10I hit such a perfect note, it busted the glass.
12:14It wasn't your voice that busted the glass.
12:17It was your face.
12:19We'll see who gets the last laugh when my sweetie comes.
12:26What, sweetie?
12:27That's for me to know and you to find out.
12:31Ah, ah, ah.
12:39Sure is nice of you to share your soap with Ms. Drydale.
12:42Well, with my lice soap, she'll be happy to stay home and do her housework.
12:50Hey, most powerful batch of soap that you ever made.
12:53Just a breeze blowing the back on me on the way over here has got me crying.
12:57I make a big soap to do a big job.
13:02I'll be looking at you.
13:04Au revoir.
13:04Toodaloo.
13:09Hi there, Ms. Drydale.
13:10Oh, hello, hello, hello, goodbye, goodbye.
13:13Where are you going?
13:14Milburne is sending me to a health farm.
13:17Martin, are we loaded?
13:19Yes, ma'am.
13:20Well, let's fly, fly, fly.
13:24Just a minute, Ms. Drydale, your granny and me bring you something.
13:27Here, honey, take a good whiff of this.
13:30How nice of you.
13:32Tell the gardener to speed it in around the rose bushes.
13:38Toodaloo.
13:42Oh, just a minute, ma'am.
13:44Granny and me would like to talk to you.
13:45I haven't time.
13:46The sooner I go, the sooner Milburne will have his new wife.
13:51Did you say new wife?
13:53Completely new.
13:55Young, glamorous, slim, trim, and beautiful.
13:58Oh, Martin, did we block my medicine?
14:02Sixteen bottles, Mrs. Drydale.
14:05Drive on.
14:06Toodaloo.
14:14How could a woman be so cheerful about her husband getting a younger wife?
14:18You heard her.
14:20She's loaded.
14:21Yeah, both of them.
14:22Sue to the gills.
14:24Who do you reckon is the woman that busted them up?
14:26Hard to tell, Granny.
14:27There's so many young, beautiful women out here.
14:30Yeah.
14:31Probably one of them glamorous movie stars.
14:41Hey, ma.
14:42You sure are all fancied up.
14:45Do I look like one of them glamorous movie stars?
14:52Yeah, by golly, you do.
14:54Which one?
14:56Milton Sills.
14:57Go on and get out of here.
14:59Now, now, listen.
15:00You find your sister, Jethreen, and your cousin, Ellie Mae, and tell them to start practicing
15:05to be bridesmaids for my wedding.
15:07Are you getting married, Ma?
15:09Well, it ain't official yet, but I sure got him anxious.
15:13Get going.
15:32I think we have it about 15 minutes.
15:43Oh, Mrs. Bodine.
15:45Why, Mr. Drysdale, you are anxious.
15:59If I'd have had a little more notice, I'd have baked your sweet potato pie.
16:02It's one of my specials.
16:03Oh.
16:04Won't you sit down?
16:05Here, I'll take your hat.
16:06Yes, sir.
16:07I just love to cook, and I love to sew, and I love to keep house.
16:11Yes, I've heard you're an exceptional housekeeper.
16:13But I ain't one of them fussy ones.
16:15No, sir, not me.
16:15I say a man's home is his castle, and it is the duty of a woman to make him comfortable.
16:21Oh.
16:22There we go.
16:23Yes, sir.
16:24A man works hard all day, and when he gets home, he has a right to enjoy himself.
16:29Take off his shoes, and relax, and listen to some soothing music to calm his jangled nerve.
16:43Please, Mrs. Boney, not right.
16:45Mr. Drysdale, I've got to ask you to keep a grip on yourself.
16:49We're all alone in the house.
16:52If you want me to keep a grip on myself, I must ask you not to play or sing or
16:57yodel.
16:58I understand.
17:00Kinda makes you go all to pieces.
17:03Yes, it does.
17:04Well, Mr. Drysdale, come on back.
17:06And you sit down while Mr. Drysdale, you're perspiring.
17:09Why, you gotta get relaxed.
17:11No, please.
17:11A man can't say what's on his mind, unless he's resting easy.
17:19Man's sakes.
17:20And with that tie and collar a-choking you, it's a wonder you can talk at all.
17:25Oh, Mrs. Boney, I'll be all right. Really, I will.
17:27Mr. Drysdale, you've got a hole in your stocking.
17:32Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
17:35When a man ain't got a woman around to care for him, them things is bound to happen.
17:47I declare, Mr. Drysdale, you're ticklish.
17:51Now, look, I'm gonna let you sit easy and I'm gonna darn that up before you know it.
17:56Oh, Mrs. Boney, no, really, I can manage.
17:58No, no, no, no, I ain't takin' orders yet.
18:01No, please, give me back my sock.
18:04Give me my sock.
18:05Oh, I know how to handle you.
18:12Uncle Jay, Granny, Ma's gonna get married.
18:14What? Who to?
18:16Well, she wouldn't tell me, but she was expecting him any minute.
18:18I reckon he's inside right now.
18:20Let's go in and see who it is.
18:23Mr. Drysdale.
18:25Oh, no, no, please, no, miss Boney.
18:31Ha, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
18:31No, no, please, no, no, no, please, no, no, no, miss Boney, ha, ha, ha.
18:34No, no, no, no, no, miss Boney.
18:35Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
18:37no, no.
18:38Mr. Drysdale.
18:39I reckon Pearl is a young beautiful woman that busted up his marriage.
18:43Huh?
18:44It must have been her singing and yodeling that drove him to it.
18:49Mr. Crabbitt, it was just, uh, your cousin and I were...
18:58Oh, no, no, we weren't.
19:02Petro, leave the room.
19:04Leave the house.
19:08Did you have to come back right now?
19:11We was just going great.
19:13Pearl, what's the matter with you?
19:15Man crazy always was.
19:17Mr. Drysdale, get yourself decent. I'll be back to talk to you.
19:26Shame on you!
19:27You two hurl, you homewraker.
19:30I don't know what you're talking about.
19:32You told me that Mr. Drysdale was crazy about my yodeling,
19:36so I called him at the bank and I yodeled and he come a-running over here to see me.
19:41You done yodeled your way, twixt Mr. Drysdale and his wife.
19:46Wife, I didn't know he had a wife.
19:48Well, he has.
19:49The sweetest, kindest, nicest, drunkenest woman you ever saw.
19:55He done sent her to the farm.
19:57Put her out to pasture so he can marry you.
19:59He's seen her leaving.
20:01Oh, she knows about you, Pearl.
20:03Said her husband was going to get a new wife.
20:05Young, glamorous, slim, beautiful.
20:10Shit.
20:11That can't be Pearl.
20:15You're forgetting what a powerful spell her voice throws on a man.
20:19Now, Pearl, I'm going back in there and try to talk some sense to Mr. Drysdale.
20:22Whatever you do, don't yodel.
20:33Oh, Mr. Clabbert, I'm terribly embarrassed about the picture we must have presented when
20:38you came in, but I assure you, I wasn't at fault.
20:40Yes, your cousin Pearl is one of the most...
20:41Yeah, my cousin Pearl admitted that she called you on the telephone and stirred you up.
20:45But she didn't know you were going to send your wife away to make room for her.
20:49Oh, but I didn't.
20:50In the first place, my wife is never home.
20:52In the second place, if she does come home, there's still plenty of room for both of them.
20:58Mr. Drysdale, I...
20:59I hear you tell that you folks out here behaves a mite different than we used to.
21:05I know you're carrying a heavy load on the kind of your wife.
21:09But I just can't let my cousin Pearl get mixed up in any kind of goings-on like that.
21:15Well, then, if I can't have Pearl, can I have Granny?
21:25Lord love you.
21:26You're a desperate man.
21:30What are they saying?
21:32How can I hear when you keep pestering me?
21:36Hi, boss.
21:37Oh!
21:38Jed told you not to yodel.
21:41I was screaming.
21:43You can tell the difference.
21:45What in the world happened to you?
21:47We was playing football with some boys.
21:49Yeah, and they sure was dumb.
21:52Jethro was a toting a ball, and they kept a tackling me.
21:56Go get cleaned up, both of you.
21:58Jethro says you want us to be bridesmaids at your wedding.
22:02Yeah, who you marrying, Aunt Pearl?
22:03What's his name, Ma?
22:04Puddin' and Tame.
22:06Ask me again, and I'll tell you the same.
22:07Now, get upstairs.
22:12That's a funny name, Puddin' and Tame.
22:15Oh, Ma don't care.
22:16She once said she'd marry Humpty Dumpty.
22:19Well, I like Jethro ain't Tame better than Jethro ain't Dumpty.
22:24Yeah, look up here.
22:26That poor man in there is so sick of his drinking wife,
22:30he is wanting to marry either one of you two.
22:33Last one in is an old maid.
22:36We was trying to save the marriage, not bust it up,
22:38and I think I got an idea that'll do it.
22:40I want you two to wait in the kitchen,
22:42and when I bring Mr. Drysdale in,
22:45I want it to you.
22:48Yes, sir, Mr. Drysdale,
22:49both them fine, hard-working, good-cooking,
22:52housekeeping women is in the kitchen there.
22:54All you have to do is go in there and take your pick.
22:55Oh, this is marvelous of you.
23:01And they took the pledge.
23:08Nobody knows.
23:10How about Rattie?
23:13Well, who's here?
23:15It's old Jen himself.
23:18And I spoke to you, baby.
23:20You fellas want to dance?
23:22Come on, have a little dance.
23:24Come on, now.
23:27You can't dance in there.
23:29Why not?
23:31It's all downhill.
23:34I'm going to break your pick now, Mr. Drysdale,
23:38while he can still walk over to your house.
23:39Oh, he's got to pick me.
23:41Ain't you, sweetie, Milby?
23:43Oh, no, he ain't.
23:45He's going to take me, ain't you?
23:46Listen, he gets your banker grabbing hands off in him.
23:50Oh, you shut him, fella.
23:53Oh, you shut him, huh?
23:54I'll show you.
23:56Shut up there.
24:16How about checking both of them, Mr. Drysdale?
24:18No, no, thanks.
24:23You done it, girl.
24:25Bless you both.
24:27Pearl, you were just great.
24:29So was you, Granny, darling.
24:31Together you saved that man's home and you saved his marriage.
24:34I don't want to give you a good feeling.
24:36Yeah.
24:37I'll kind of win it.
24:38I think I'll go upstairs and rest.
24:40Call me when lunch is ready, Granny.
24:42Oh, now, just a minute, Pearl, honey.
24:44We got a lot of mess to clean up here.
24:48But, Granny, darling,
24:49you give me strict orders to stay out of your kitchen.
24:53Remember?
24:55Why, you low down?
24:57No, boy.
24:59Here we go again.
25:19Well, now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.
25:23They would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
25:27You're all invited back next week to this locality
25:30To have a heaping helping of their hospitality.
25:34Hillbilly, that is.
25:36Set a spell.
25:37Take your shoes off.
25:39Y'all come back now.
25:40Here?
25:40Take your shoes off.
25:40Take your shoes off.
25:41Take your shoes off.
25:41Take your shoes off.
25:41Take your shoes off.
25:41Take your shoes off.
25:42Take your shoes off.
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