Skip to playerSkip to main content
deaddogsdam
  • 5 minutes ago
First broadcast 2nd September 1986.

Ray Brooks - Robby Box
Sharon Duce - Jan Oliver
Pamela Cundell - Vi Box
James Ottaway - Tommy
Lisa Geoghan - Debby Oliver
Stephen Tate - Dick Mayer
Mike Reid - Peter Davis
Frank Mills - Gil Roach
Deirdre Costello - Joan
Kenneth Waller - Ferret
Roger Walker - Kipper
Andy Mulligan - Geordie
Alex Tetteh-Lartey - Black George
James Bree - Mr. Symbols
Paulina Dare - Christine
Peter Pacey - Charlie Mayer
Adrian McLoughlin - Brian
Mike O'Malley - Punter
Terence Lodge - Cabin Steward
Gavin Brown - LEB Man
Suzanne Church - Estate Agent
Colin Rix - Town Hall Official
James Marcus - Terry Drury
Luke Hanson - 2nd Punter
Terry Gurry - Cab Driver

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:00You wait here, Jan.
00:02No, I'm coming in with you.
00:03It'll only upset you.
00:04I know.
00:20Have you got a pen?
00:31Who do I make it out to?
00:33Before you write the check of Mr. Box,
00:36I have to ask if you have sufficient funds in your account to meet it.
00:40Yes, of course he has. The money's in the bank.
00:43Isn't it?
00:45Of course, if you prefer cash.
00:48£20,000.
00:49If there was any bother about the cheque.
00:50You mean it's not in the bank?
00:55I expect you'd like to count it.
01:01Can I have a receipt?
01:03Please.
01:15Well, it's done, isn't it?
01:18I'm paid up.
01:19All square.
01:21That's what you wanted, innit?
01:23What I wanted was for you to go to that appeal.
01:25All you had to do was get out of bed.
01:27You'll get your place.
01:28I'll get me hands on another five grand.
01:29But you won't.
01:30If I could do it once.
01:32No.
01:33You've had two chances, Robbie.
01:34You don't get another.
01:35That was it.
01:38Yesterday.
01:40All my troubles seem so far away.
01:45Now it looks as though there'll be a mistake.
01:49Oh, I'm busy.
01:50Oi!
01:55What are you acting?
01:56Sell it, mate.
01:59You what?
02:06Don't you seen Albert before?
02:08No.
02:09I have not seen Albert before.
02:10He's been here the last five weeks.
02:12Part time.
02:13Up to now.
02:15I was here.
02:16Most of the time.
02:18The full-up, son.
02:18You made your choice.
02:19The club.
02:20You can't say I didn't warn you.
02:24I've got a business to run.
02:25Albert's here now.
02:27You've got your contacts.
02:30Didn't you?
02:32Hey, Albert, old son.
02:33Nah, nah.
02:34Not that one.
02:35Nah.
02:37Well, that's nice, isn't it?
02:39Me own brother.
02:45So we changed our lifestyle to fit in with you, mate.
02:47Got into a rutile.
02:48Now what they used to call you, Rubbo.
02:50The king of clubs.
02:51Nah, he's the joker.
02:53Oh, yeah.
02:56Are you enjoying that?
02:58Well, I didn't even dry caviar the first time.
03:04Which one do you fancy?
03:18Excuse me.
03:19Have you got a light?
03:21No.
03:23Age before, beauty.
03:24Yeah.
03:26Thanks.
03:28Can I buy you a drink?
03:29Ah, love.
03:30Cheers, love.
03:31We have four more here, please.
03:33You're very real, darling.
03:41What was all that about?
03:47What do you think they do?
03:49Well, from here, I'd say not a lot.
03:51Unemployed?
03:52Well, they can cover a multitude of skilled occupations.
03:55Bouncers, card shops, minor villains.
03:57Card shops?
03:58Poker.
03:58It's a social obligation.
04:01Down the hatch, darling.
04:02Cheers, love.
04:05I'm quite a good poker player.
04:07Emma, down here, they're not quite good.
04:09They're all internationals.
04:10I want to play poker with them.
04:13What?
04:13Ask them.
04:15Listen, darling, if they do play...
04:17Ask them!
04:19I don't think you've been listening.
04:21Adrian, I want to play a proper game of poker with people who want to win.
04:26I want to play until it hurts.
04:30It's my lucky night.
04:31I'll take them for every last penny of their supplementary benefit.
04:36While you're up there, you can pay for the drinks I bought.
04:41I don't know why I love you.
04:44They'll take the rags off your back.
04:46They can try.
04:55Very generous, your friend.
04:57Yes, yes.
04:58His and my friend is back.
04:59Yeah, we noticed.
05:00My name's Scott.
05:02I write a societal column.
05:05Oh, nice.
05:06I think so.
05:08Sort of sporty in life, without horses.
05:10I'm doing some research into some back street small room poker.
05:13Know the sort of thing I mean?
05:15Yes, I've heard of it, yeah.
05:16You don't play?
05:18I've been known to, yeah.
05:20I want to get into a game.
05:21I mostly play bridge, but...
05:23Oh, lovely.
05:24Look, why don't you come and join us?
05:26Your chance.
05:26Oh, nice.
05:27Okay, lads.
05:27I'll see you later at Gill's.
05:29See you later at Gill's.
05:29Ah, Rob.
05:30Go to sleep, Georgie.
05:30Go to sleep, son.
05:31Thanks a lot, Rob.
05:34Emma, this is Mr...
05:35Robbie Box.
05:36Hello again.
05:37Hello.
05:38So...
05:38Yeah, so...
05:40You want me to fix up a game for you?
05:42Yes.
05:44For both of us.
05:45Sorry?
05:46Emma plays too.
05:47Not against the law, is it?
05:50No, it's just that...
05:52The fellas have got a lot of money in their pockets.
05:54I mean, they're...
05:55They're hard men.
05:57I wouldn't want a lady friend of mine sitting down with them.
05:59When the cards are on the table, you'll find out who the ladies are.
06:04You'll want some cash, of course.
06:07Say, a hundred?
06:09Oh.
06:10Expenses.
06:11For goodness sake, Adrian.
06:13He's so mean, you wouldn't believe it.
06:16Is that right, Adrian?
06:19Three hundred pounds, Mr. Box.
06:21Will that cover it?
06:23Yes.
06:24Yes, they shall cover it.
06:26So, we have a get.
06:27Yes, but when?
06:28Tomorrow night?
06:29Yes, all right then.
06:30I'll, um...
06:30I'll be in touch.
06:31And I really am looking forward to it, Mr. Box.
06:33It's funny you should say that, yeah.
06:53So, how's it all going, Pat?
06:56It's all off, Geordie.
06:59Oh, dear.
07:00The house.
07:02Oh, you, uh, you've changed your mind, have you?
07:05No, I've had it changed for me.
07:08Ah, Robbie's contribution.
07:10Well, we're not talking about it.
07:15How's the conversion going?
07:16Oh, the owner's very enthusiastic.
07:18I wish he was just keen about the money.
07:20Still, I suppose I'll finish.
07:21I don't go broke first.
07:23Geordie?
07:24Aye.
07:26What's that up there?
07:29Oh, that, oh, that snout, Pet.
07:31It's, uh, just a tip.
07:35Oh, it's all right, Pet.
07:36Come on, let it worry you.
07:38How long's it been empty, Geordie?
07:40Oh, I don't know.
07:42Jumping here, I should think.
07:47Cracky.
07:49Oh, it's good to be here, isn't it?
07:51It's a shame.
07:53Ooh!
07:54It's a joke.
07:55I don't.
08:04Is there electricity?
08:06Aye.
08:07But I should think the wiring's on its last leg.
08:10Yes, yes.
08:11It's something that's written out to start moving in.
08:14And not just the wiring.
08:16Oh, I'm sorry, Geordie.
08:19Why all the interest?
08:21We've got a bit of an accommodation problem, you see, Geordie.
08:26The lease runs out of Tummy's flat at the end of the week.
08:30Do you think we could rent this?
08:32This?
08:33I'll pay.
08:34Oh, I just found the loo.
08:35I wished I hadn't.
08:36Has it got running water, then?
08:38Well, it's got a rising main.
08:39What, a drain?
08:40Ah, after a fashion.
08:42No, it's not even fit for human habitation, Pet.
08:44Oh, Mum, you're not seriously thinking of that.
08:47I mean, there's over a year's work here, plus the costs.
08:53Still, I suppose it could be done.
08:56No, no, if the conversion job falls through, I'd have to give all this up.
08:59You'd be doing it for now.
09:00You know this conversion?
09:03How big is the problem?
09:04Well, you know how it works.
09:06I get paid by the unit.
09:07One flat third floor starting at the top.
09:10It's getting that first one.
09:12Hmm.
09:13Well, I've got an idea.
09:14Tell me what you think.
09:15Well?
09:16A partnership.
09:17You're short of cash.
09:18We're short of a home.
09:20I need a job.
09:21And you've admitted you're up to your eyes on it and need someone to take over the paperwork.
09:24Are you with me so far?
09:25Oh, I don't know, Jan.
09:28I mean, a partnership?
09:29You and me.
09:32Anyway, what would Robbie say?
09:33It's got nothing to do with Robbie.
09:35He's my mate.
09:36I mean, he's sleeping on my sofa.
09:38Well, until Jordan gets back.
09:39I know.
09:40Look, if I go into this with you, well, I mean, what are you going to think?
09:44It's got nothing to do with him.
09:45You leave me to deal with Robbie, okay?
09:49Now, if I put in, say, 11,000.
09:5211?
09:52Cash on the nail.
09:54Can I buy a share in the business and move in here?
09:57When?
09:59Tonight.
09:59Oh.
10:09Adrian Scott.
10:10Yeah, he's a lovely fella.
10:11Mostly he plays bridge, so we're going to come out of this well up.
10:13Who else?
10:14Well, it's me, Dick Mayer, and, er, his bird.
10:17Hey?
10:18Scott's, er, woman.
10:20She's not playing.
10:21Well, just a few hands, yeah.
10:23Count me out, mate.
10:24Oh, Ginger, come on.
10:25No women, no way.
10:27Excuse me, mate.
10:39Are you sure you've not gone bonkers?
10:41No, not positive.
10:42Thank you, Mrs. Oliver.
10:44I'll just wrap this one up.
10:46Oh, where to now?
10:48Any table, chairs, brushes, paint?
10:52Oh, man, we're not painting today.
10:54Yes, we are.
10:55Well, as soon as we've got sight to eat, I'm going down the job centre to find a real job.
10:59Well, you can do that tomorrow.
11:00Now, shush.
11:01I want that tape that goes round windows.
11:04And I...
11:05Ha!
11:06It's a laugh, isn't it?
11:07Here you go.
11:09Take care of yourself.
11:11Had lots of family equipment, weren't you?
11:16Don't worry about it, Danny.
11:18You stick with your game, all right?
11:20I'll see ya.
11:24Hang on.
11:25Hang on.
11:31Hang on.
11:34Right, I'm coming round, are you all right?
11:36All right.
11:36Wait, not so quick.
11:39Have a care for the curb.
11:40Yes, you're right.
11:41Here we go.
11:42It sounds heavy, isn't it?
11:42You are, you're all right.
11:50It's terrific, isn't it?
11:51You can't even give money away.
11:52I need my head looking at you.
11:54Talk me into it.
11:55Oh, George.
11:56He had a dream, didn't he?
11:58Two black horses, both number six.
12:00One with blue colours, one orange.
12:02And they both come in first.
12:03Oh, and then he woke up.
12:05Yeah, two quid is going to cost me.
12:06And me.
12:07You only both of you done both of them to win, have you?
12:09Got two wrong.
12:10No, I dream horses, mate.
12:12That's not the way to do it.
12:13You've got to double them up.
12:14Double them up, son.
12:15Double?
12:15They're dog food robbers.
12:17Well, if you're going to chuck your money away, you've got to do it in style.
12:19You heard what the man said.
12:23Marry in his eye.
12:24I just be.
12:26It's hard very much, George.
12:27But what would I do with the money?
12:30Joanie, um, is the other carning?
12:33I heard that.
12:34Mr Gill, I believe I'm in a position to do you a little favour.
12:38Oh?
12:39Oh, come in.
12:40Come in.
12:41I ain't had a good laugh all day.
12:49Gill, I'll come straight to the point.
12:51I can see that you're a busy man.
12:53How would you like to help yourself to a few solves?
12:59Robbie, if I didn't know you better, I would say that you were trying to suggest something illegal.
13:05As I do know you, it's probably not only illegal, it's crackpot as well.
13:10You know what?
13:11Uh, Gill, when was the last time that you played Hogwarts?
13:16Me?
13:18You.
13:19Oh, no.
13:21No.
13:22You're not going to get me doing that for you.
13:24Tomorrow night, a delightful couple with a lot of money and a passionate desire to get rid of it.
13:32I don't believe a word of it.
13:33Not you usual villains.
13:34This game is very special.
13:36It's for quality.
13:37That's why I invited you.
13:41Goodbye, Robbie.
13:42Goodbye.
13:43Not to mention the fact that you owe me a favour.
13:47You what?
13:48Who stopped Joanie wandering off to the good life?
13:50Yeah, look what it cost me.
13:52Might have known that boulder would come under roost.
13:54Give your wallet a holiday, Gill.
13:57You're gonna make money.
13:58And lots.
13:59And lots and lots of it.
14:03What's wrong with a woman playing poker?
14:06They got all the qualifications.
14:07Cunning, greed.
14:09Eh?
14:10That's a very sexist remark, Harold.
14:12I'm glad there's not a woman around here to hear that.
14:15Okay, okay, son.
14:16I'll find somebody else who needs the money.
14:27Put a pint in there, please, will you, Barry?
14:29And one in there.
14:30Oh, and I'll have a bottle of port to take away.
14:31It's all my expenses.
14:33Well, Harold won't play because of the woman.
14:35Ginger price is the same.
14:36I'm getting to the bottom of that packet.
14:38I've been over to the club again to see Christy.
14:40Oh, yeah?
14:41She still don't want to know.
14:42It's all over, innit?
14:43Finished.
14:44Why?
14:45Lots of reasons.
14:47Davis takes her own most nights.
14:49She's paying her more money on time than her.
14:51And now he's made her assistant manager of the club, innit?
14:55But that's only part.
14:56What's she other part, then?
14:58She said she couldn't work out why someone like me
15:01hangs around with someone like you.
15:05So I'll get my own bags.
15:07All right.
15:07For the port to be added.
15:09But then there's only one person you worry about in there, Rob.
15:12And that's Robbie Fox.
15:14That's what she said.
15:15I mean, what did you say?
15:16I mean, her problem is she's got a feather.
15:18Or should I say it's your problem?
15:20I'll tell you what my problem is, Rob.
15:22To date, I have lost Christine, the club,
15:25and now I've lost my steady earning with Charlie,
15:27and all because I went in with you.
15:29It was your choice, son.
15:31I mean, nobody twisted your arm, did they?
15:32You didn't have to twist my arm, Rob.
15:35You're bad luck, son.
15:37And I know.
15:41And you can count me out the game tomorrow.
16:05I'm late.
16:06Listen, tomorrow night, ten o'clock.
16:08You're game of cards.
16:09You're farming.
16:10You could be walking home with your pockets full of reddies.
16:12Well, look, I shouldn't really be rushing about like this.
16:15Well, don't, son.
16:16Don't.
16:18It's all right for you, but I'm not up to it, you know.
16:21It's a very genteel game.
16:23You'll love it.
16:24It was losing the club, what done is.
16:26Oh, yeah?
16:27Done what?
16:28Turned your brain, son.
16:37Mum?
16:38That you, son?
16:40Yeah.
16:40Yeah.
16:41I don't want the milkman left in my doorstep, eh?
16:44Oh, you lot.
16:47What about old, um, old Tom then?
16:49Hmm?
16:50Yeah.
16:50What about old Tom?
16:52He's been acting the goat for a couple of days now.
16:54If you ask me, he's up to something.
16:56Well, he's probably found himself another bird, you know.
16:57Age 20, 36, 22, 36.
16:59But you're daft.
17:01You're as daft as he is.
17:03Talking about birds, what about yours?
17:06Oh, yeah.
17:06Yeah.
17:07Yeah.
17:08It's not just Jan.
17:09It's Debbie you've got to consider.
17:12Come the weekend, when are they going to be sleeping?
17:14Underneath the edge?
17:15I had it all sorted till I lost the club, but I had paid off my tax.
17:20Hmm.
17:20The story of your life, innit?
17:23Everything almost, but not quite.
17:25Yeah, all right.
17:26All right.
17:26All right.
17:27You're in the mower again, son, aren't you?
17:29Up to your neck.
17:30I'll fix something up for him.
17:32Hmm.
17:32When?
17:33Well, I've got a couple of other things to sort out first, that's all.
17:35Well, you'd better hurry up.
17:36That's all I can say.
17:39Here, you stop in.
17:41Eh?
17:42A cup of tea.
17:44No, no, I don't bother.
17:45I've got some, I've got some.
17:49That Tommy can't look me in the eye anymore.
17:52Huh?
17:54I bet my bottom dollary is up to something.
18:02Next.
18:08Hmm.
18:15Name?
18:16You're not Dr. Bartram.
18:18Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight.
18:20All right.
18:20Dr. Bartram's lying on a beach somewhere.
18:22On Mackenzie.
18:24Name?
18:25Foster.
18:27Set yourself down, Mr. Foster.
18:32What's the problem?
18:33Water works?
18:34No.
18:35You sure?
18:37I've got a pain.
18:39Here.
18:40Ah.
18:41Here and there.
18:43Pardon?
18:44Get your trues off.
18:45Up on the couch.
18:48How do you know?
18:50Don't look at me yet.
18:51Guesswork.
18:52Saves a lot of idle chatter, guesswork.
18:55Mind you, I've seen a few patients in my time.
18:58I reckon you're out at all.
19:00About a quarter of a million.
19:02Plenty of hernias there.
19:05And water works.
19:06There's nothing wrong with my water works.
19:08Would you put money on that?
19:10Well, I ought to know.
19:12They're mine, aren't they?
19:14There's nothing worse than a stubborn patient
19:18to spend a lifetime in medicine
19:19and then some bus conductor comes along
19:21and tells you how to do your job.
19:23I was a railwayman.
19:27Cough.
19:29Cough.
19:31Who?
19:33Ah, hernia.
19:34I knew it the moment you walked in.
19:36What was the name again?
19:38Foster.
19:39Get yourself dressed, Mr. Foster.
19:41It's the infirmary for you, laddie.
19:45So what's happening about the sparkling?
19:48Oh, Jordy knows where he can get a new one.
19:49Well, when I say new, I mean new to her.
19:52Good old Jordy, aye.
19:57What's happening.
20:00What's that?
20:05I love those clothes.
20:08Yeah, well, yeah.
20:11Well, I had a...
20:12I had a way with Jordy, didn't I?
20:16He's great.
20:19Well, this is for you.
20:21And it's Brian New.
20:23Oh.
20:23Yeah, well, I can't stay, but I will get stuck in.
20:26This is Robbie's brush, right?
20:27And nobody uses it for me.
20:29We could always get a nun, then.
20:30Yeah, that's right, we could.
20:33Janet, I know I promised about the house.
20:36Yes, Robbie, you promised.
20:40Janet, what can I say?
20:47Here's a few.
20:48Oh!
20:54Well, thanks, anyway.
20:57But I'd better put them in water.
20:59Yes, good idea, that.
21:00Put them in water.
21:09Mariner's Eye, 11 to 1.
21:13Archer's Bay, 33.
21:15Well, leave the kitchen to him, eh, Mum?
21:17It's really horrible.
21:19I believe you.
21:20Yeah, I believe me, buddy.
21:27Oh, lovely, Paul.
21:28Yeah, not bad, not bad.
21:29Like him in the wrong place at the wrong time.
21:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:31You know, I think you did a fantastic job.
21:34Um, right, I'll see you.
21:38What the hell was all that about?
21:44Well, do you suppose you got them this time of night?
21:47You need to.
21:51Well, no, no, no, no.
21:52Good old Mariner's Eye.
21:54Archer's Bay, this is who I am.
22:00We're in the money.
22:02We're in the money.
22:04Yeah, look, the doubly come up.
22:06I know, I know.
22:07Yeah, get yourself a nice little drink.
22:09Oh, yeah, anything you like, mate.
22:11Feel free.
22:13Listen, how much you got through?
22:15Here.
22:15We ain't even scratched the surface yet.
22:20Yeah, listen, would you like to make a bit more?
22:22There's a little spieler tomorrow night.
22:24Jolte, wake up, wake up.
22:26Arse.
22:27Yeah.
22:27Poker?
22:28Yes.
22:29Poker.
22:29What do you think?
22:31I don't know.
22:31What is it?
22:32I have played.
22:33Of course you have, son.
22:34So have I.
22:35Long time ago.
22:37Bloody long.
22:38But you'd like to again, wouldn't you?
22:39I don't know.
22:41What do you think, Kipper?
22:42Poker?
22:44I'm easy.
22:45Money for a rope.
22:46Yeah.
22:47Yeah.
22:48Do you want to give it all back to Gil, do you?
22:50Hang on, son.
22:51So, look, it's us, you, Rob.
22:54And Dick, perhaps.
22:55And?
22:55The couple who was here this morning.
22:57Hey.
22:58She bought us all drinks, remember?
22:59Oh, well.
23:00Now, for reasons I don't want to go into now,
23:02this delightful couple want to have a hard game of poker
23:06with a room full of ruthless villains.
23:09Yeah.
23:10I'm playing with no villains.
23:11No, son.
23:13You're the villains.
23:22Hi, Mr. Phillips.
23:24We came from Cold School.
23:27We came from the panel.
23:29Oh, I'm not afraid.
23:31Look like this guy.
23:39Hi-ya.
23:41Hey, Robbie.
23:42You want dinner for one?
23:43Listen, Jim, a little favor.
23:45Your front room.
23:46I'm not going to function on premises.
23:48No, no, no.
23:48Not to eat.
23:49To play.
23:49Five or six of us tomorrow night.
23:51Oh, very risky.
23:52If health authority, find out.
23:54I'm in trouble.
23:55Yes.
23:55What, 3% of the pot's yours?
23:58Seven and a half.
23:59No, it's just a little game, son.
24:00Four.
24:00Six.
24:01Five.
24:02Use backdoor.
24:03You're a mate.
24:04Hey, listen.
24:04What are you doing tomorrow night?
24:06I cook.
24:07No, not cook, son.
24:08Play.
24:08You're going to sit at the table.
24:09You're going to be the tongue element.
24:11All right.
24:15Forty-seven.
24:18Oh, come on.
24:19Come on.
24:21Poor sparkless flushing.
24:23Come on, then.
24:24All right.
24:25Poor sparkless flushing.
24:30Now, come on, fairy.
24:31It's your deal.
24:32Come on, son.
24:33Come on.
24:33Poor sparkless flushing.
24:34Here, Robbo.
24:35Shut up, Kipper.
24:36Does Jolie know?
24:37How can I say it if you keep on interrupting?
24:40I'll keep it on that very sofa over there.
24:42Oh.
24:43Yeah, he'd be delighted.
24:44Poor sparkless flushing.
24:45We three kings of Orient are.
24:47What is it with you?
24:48I'm saying what you told me to say, Rob.
24:50Poor sparkless.
24:50I know, I know, but...
24:51But what?
24:54Just don't go over the top, that's all.
24:56Does Jolie's missus know?
24:57Know what?
24:58All this.
24:59But Doreen's away and she's staying at her mum's.
25:02Now, listen.
25:02Do you want me to go over the rules again,
25:04or do you all remember them?
25:06A flush beats a straight.
25:08No need to shout.
25:09Okay, fingers, your deal, dummy hands.
25:13Oi, what have we forgotten?
25:14What?
25:15We shuffle, don't we?
25:17You never said nothing about shuffling.
25:19No, because we all knew the rules, didn't we?
25:20Oh, my God.
25:23Hold it.
25:24Hold it.
25:24Hold it.
25:25What now?
25:26Listen.
25:27After the shuffle, the cut.
25:28Old-fashioned custom.
25:30Good.
25:31Good.
25:32Right.
25:36All right.
25:37Hold it.
25:37Hold it.
25:38Why do you keep picking on me?
25:40Because I haven't got around to the others yet.
25:43I don't like stud.
25:44Neither do I.
25:45I like stud.
25:48This is not a committee meeting.
25:50Mr. Scott and his little darling want to play stud,
25:53so that's the end of the discussion.
25:55Dominion knows there's more fun.
25:56So there's a weekend and a hurry,
25:58but we haven't been asked for that, have we?
25:59We're going to play stud.
26:00So deal, right?
26:01But always remember,
26:02it's only the first card that's face down, right?
26:05So deal.
26:07One, two, three.
26:08Good, good.
26:09Stop.
26:09I know, I know.
26:12So, who bets first?
26:15Mark King.
26:17Good.
26:21I bet 500 pan.
26:36I don't know what you've got under there, do you?
26:39I mean, I can't even imagine,
26:41but you don't open 500 pounds.
26:44I mean, you've never seen 500 pounds.
26:47You don't want to frighten them all off, do you?
26:50A nigger, then.
26:51Good.
26:52Go on.
26:53Bloody rubbish.
26:54Now, that's your secret, son.
26:56Who knows what Lady Luck might bring you?
26:58It's your call.
27:00Ten pound.
27:03What you got under there, George?
27:08I'm not telling you.
27:10We're here to learn, George.
27:12We're not playing with real money.
27:14Leave him alone.
27:15Yeah, leave him alone.
27:16I never knew this game was so bloody difficult.
27:18Oh, no need to shut up, Rob.
27:19My head seems full of broken light bulbs.
27:23You have not got the net, Robbo.
27:26Eh?
27:27You are not a born teacher.
27:29Oh, sorry.
27:29I'll go and spring under a bus.
27:33Anyway, I've had another idea.
27:35Money fraud broke, you said.
27:36You promised us a game.
27:37You're not getting out of it that easy.
27:39You're going to play, but you bet small.
27:41Small.
27:42Right?
27:42And I'll do the rest.
27:43Is that your other idea?
27:45No, it's not.
27:46It's very important.
27:48Oi, are you listening?
27:50What?
27:51Good, Georgie.
27:52Thanks very much.
27:53Smash you.
27:54It's very important that you look the part.
27:58What part?
28:00You are three villains, right?
28:02You are hard, ruthless men.
28:05So you clean yourselves up, do something about your hair and get hold of some ruthless clobber.
28:08Where?
28:09Well, I don't know, do I?
28:10I don't need to do nothing about his hair.
28:12He always keeps his hat on.
28:14And a long bath, everybody.
28:15Here, I ain't got a long bath.
28:17I don't need a bath.
28:18Yes, you do.
28:19Eh?
28:19Now, listen here.
28:21Scotty's bird is a very, very sophisticated woman.
28:24She's very sensitive.
28:26Here, are you saying that?
28:27Yes, he is.
28:28And hard men wash quite a lot because they can afford soap.
28:31Look, Robbo.
28:31You'll smell like a funeral or you're out.
28:35And you.
28:42Here, darling.
28:44It'll never work.
28:45Give it a go.
28:53Yeah, two, mate.
28:57What?
28:58Four and five.
29:00My mate, he's, er, he's just coming.
29:06Tal.
29:08Oi!
29:10Yeah?
29:11You can't take that in.
29:14No animals, all livestock allowed on the premises.
29:17No, it's not livestock.
29:19What is it again, a grand piano?
29:21Dead stock.
29:23No animals, dead or alive.
29:26Listen, mate, it's champion rat, a can in town, 1892, half of.
29:29It's worth a fortune.
29:31I don't know what's the matter with some people.
29:34Look, I'll keep it in here for you.
29:35No, no, you're getting it.
29:37Well, they might cover it, well.
29:40Side door.
29:50Here, he won't like it in there.
29:52There's not enough room.
29:56Bloody other things in here.
30:17Oh, it's smashing, isn't it, eh?
30:19Go on, Mike, get myself one of these, mate.
30:22Oh, you think great.
30:23Will be.
30:24You're not in yet.
30:27He keeps looking at me.
30:29Here, you've got a peeping Tom in there.
30:31Turn your back, can't you?
30:32Haven't you ever seen a person's legs before?
30:49Oh, it's hot.
30:50Oh, it's hot.
30:51Tom, you've been messing around.
30:52You're lucky it ain't froze.
30:55Man of mine is just getting embarrassing
30:56getting in dressed in front of the dog.
30:58Man, that way.
30:59Oh, oh, oh, oh.
31:03Here.
31:03Ah, yeah, it was funny about old George, wasn't it, eh?
31:07He's got a bath of his own.
31:08He's a snob.
31:10Good in here, isn't it?
31:12Told you, didn't I?
31:14Hey, can't I think of it,
31:15you could do with a good bath and all.
31:17Come on, come on.
31:18Oh, oh, Mrs. McGregor, get off, get off.
31:21Here we go.
31:22Help, help.
31:25Oh, Mrs. McGregor, you're on me legs.
31:26You're on me legs, why can't you?
31:27Get off your legs.
31:28Ow, oh, my God, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
31:34Oh, you stupid dog.
31:35You silly old bugger.
31:40Two points to the gun, right, Barry?
31:43You know, that sounds a bit of all right.
31:46But where are you going to get the sit down from?
31:48All taken care of, son.
31:49Is it?
31:50Do you want some of it?
31:52No, no.
31:53Every penny I've got this sportman for.
31:55You won't lose nothing, son.
31:56I know.
31:57Very good.
31:58Here you are, Mr. Bass.
32:00Terrific.
32:00Cheers.
32:01Cheers.
32:01Cheers.
32:06Hi, Robbie.
32:07Hello, Jim.
32:07Do you want a drink?
32:08No, thanks.
32:09Unfortunate news, Robbie.
32:10Yeah?
32:11Wife, mother, right from Hong Kong.
32:13She was not expected.
32:14Just dropped in from Hong Kong.
32:16She now occupies the front room.
32:18Boy, she'd be tired, wouldn't she?
32:20Your front room?
32:22Very regrettable.
32:23Not regrettable, son.
32:24That's a disaster.
32:25I'm afraid the game is cancelled, Robbie.
32:27It'll take a couple of hours, Jim.
32:29Wife, mother, not movable.
32:31On the house, Robbie.
32:32Number 17, your favourite.
32:34Bon appétit.
32:46No.
32:47You are not having my front room?
32:49I'm sure.
32:49Not for poker.
32:51She ever found out.
32:53Tori would kill us.
33:01Number 17.
33:04Well, we've broken the back of it.
33:06We've broken my back.
33:08I'm hungry.
33:11You're always hungry.
33:14Oh, could I have to do with a lovely hot bath?
33:23Oh, who is it?
33:25It's me.
33:26Oh, what do you want?
33:27Can I come in?
33:28No.
33:29A little favour?
33:31No.
33:32If it means moving out of this chair, forget it.
33:35And I'll do you a little favour in return.
33:37Yes, I've got to hear.
33:38Well, due to Cirque's beyond my control, there are several people arriving here now.
33:41It's not my fault.
33:42I've been let down.
33:43Do you mean cards?
33:44Well, I had a place, you see, but something went wrong.
33:47Forget it.
33:48No, I didn't plan this.
33:49I fixed up a game for a friend, but it blew out.
33:51So what's your favour then?
33:53I'm inviting you both out for a lovely hot meal.
33:57Oh, Mum.
34:00Mum, don't be too hot.
34:02I mean, mate.
34:04A nice hot meal.
34:07Yeah.
34:08Lovely.
34:10Except that I won't be there.
34:12But tomorrow, I'm going to be painting the flower.
34:14Honestly, word of honour.
34:16These are for you.
34:19Think about it, Robbie.
34:20We'll only be out an hour or so.
34:21When we get back, your lot will still be here.
34:23Or a midnight movie.
34:24Or a lovely hot bath.
34:25Yeah, a lovely hot bath at Mum's.
34:27Oh, I couldn't walk now with her.
34:29Oh, no.
34:30No, we'll need a cab.
34:31There and back.
34:32Yes.
34:32Ah, yes.
34:33Right, all right.
34:34You can both have a cab, all right?
34:35Come on.
34:3630 for you.
34:39And, uh, 30 for you.
34:42They're going to be here in half an hour.
34:44Oh, yeah, but Geordie's coming.
34:47All right, then.
34:48But on one condition.
34:49That tonight, Geordie's in charge.
34:51Right?
34:52Yeah.
34:52And tomorrow, you paint.
34:54Yeah.
34:54It's saved my life.
34:57I'll put these in water.
34:59The best in water.
35:04Yeah.
35:25I'm a Mr. Boss.
35:28For ten.
35:30Sweet and sour with chip?
35:32No, no.
35:33Upstairs.
35:35What upstairs?
35:37Books.
35:39Only paper carrier bag.
35:40Not upstairs.
35:41Paper carrier bag's downstairs.
35:44Mr. Ong.
35:45Look, does Mr. Ong live here?
35:46Yes.
35:47Live this place.
35:48Oh, good.
35:49Good.
35:52Mrs. Ong's mother British citizen.
35:55Ong visit only.
35:57Hong Kong British colony.
35:59Mrs. Ong's what?
36:00Immigration paper all in order.
36:02Bother, darling.
36:04Harassment from immigration office.
36:06I speak to MP.
36:07No need for that.
36:08You've come to the wrong place, sunshine.
36:10Look, I insist on seeing Mr. Ong.
36:12Not here.
36:12Gone out.
36:13You heard the lady.
36:14Mr. Ong's not at home.
36:15He's here for the game.
36:16It may be a game to you, but you're into a very place.
36:19Don't you hold me like that.
36:20I'm taking your head and drop me.
36:22Why can't you leave decent people alone?
36:29Bloody Robbie Fox.
36:43Come on, fellas.
36:45Come on.
36:46Good girl.
36:47Very nice.
36:48Oh, very nice.
36:52Georgie.
36:53Yeah.
36:53Sun's still shining, is he saying?
36:54Yeah.
36:55Good.
36:56Tom.
36:57Pip.
36:58Harrods.
36:59No, I wore them on jumble, mate.
37:01Oh, good.
37:02Glad you sick of him, Georgie.
37:03Yeah.
37:05Hello, Jim.
37:06Hi.
37:07Where's Gil?
37:08Don't know.
37:08Now, I want to see the dog ends in these, by the way.
37:11Nowhere else, right?
37:11Listen, lads.
37:12Listen.
37:12Find yourself seats, right?
37:14These two are for our guests.
37:14Well, get in.
37:15Come on.
37:15Let's move around.
37:17Right.
37:19Settle down, settle down.
37:20Right.
37:20Now, listen.
37:20First things first.
37:21Now, listen.
37:22Top line.
37:23Menace.
37:24Mr. Scott and his friend, it's got to be a night to remember.
37:27Okay, now, second point.
37:28Leave all the fancy work to Jimmy and me, all right?
37:31And Mr. Scott, you leave him to me as well.
37:33Now, third point.
37:34Don't.
37:36Don't damage the paintwork.
37:38Yes.
37:52All right?
37:53Yes, I think so.
38:00And no bad language, all right?
38:02That's common.
38:05That's common.
38:06Hang on, hang on.
38:07Take it easy.
38:08Take it easy.
38:10Come on, George.
38:12Get in there.
38:12Shh.
38:15On the door?
38:16Well, courtesy of Kings and Car Players.
38:19Glad you could make it.
38:20Come here.
38:22Time.
38:23Let me introduce you to the fellas.
38:25Right.
38:26That's Ferrick.
38:27Black George.
38:28Kipper.
38:29You met them at the pub.
38:30That's Mr. Wong.
38:31And Jordan.
38:32And this is Adrian Scott and Emma.
38:33Just Emma.
38:34Emma.
38:35All right.
38:35Emma, sit over there.
38:36Adrian, sit there.
38:38Okay.
38:39Gonna play five-card stud.
38:42Full deck.
38:43No ante tonight.
38:45Hot limit.
38:46And no markers.
38:47All right?
38:48You cut that, Emma, please.
38:49Certainly.
38:50Watch out.
38:51Okay.
38:52First check to do.
38:58And he's made a deal.
39:03There we go.
39:08There we cut.
39:10Just checking your awake, sunny cut.
39:16Tart.
39:17And one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, five, another little five, an eight, two, seven, six, nine, and
39:30a jack for me.
39:33Me to bet.
39:35I'll bet one pound.
39:38A pound.
39:39On there.
39:40Come on.
39:41And me.
39:42And me.
39:43Yep.
39:44Drop.
39:45Everybody in.
39:46Four.
39:47Oh.
39:47Another five for a kid.
39:49Nine, three, old lady.
39:51Four.
39:52Big bullet for Mr. Scott and a bullet for me.
39:57Well, kid.
39:58Two pounds to bet.
39:59How much, son?
40:01I'll bet.
40:03Two pound.
40:05Come in.
40:07And me.
40:09Yeah, two pound.
40:10Cool.
40:11One, eight.
40:12I'm in.
40:13Could be running.
40:15Four, two, old lady.
40:18Four, more pennies from heaven.
40:20Aye, aye.
40:21Two nines for the gentleman of the press.
40:24And an eight for me.
40:26My two nines to bet.
40:28It can't be worth more than that.
40:31Make it 15.
40:32Hey, what's your play now?
40:3315.
40:36Cool.
40:38I pass.
40:39I'm on.
40:39And me.
40:43Down there.
40:48There we go.
40:49Three definitely running, my son.
40:51King.
40:52Ten.
40:53Oh, shame.
40:54Robbo.
40:56Ten.
40:56Oh, and a three for me.
40:58Still my two nines.
41:00Five, pal.
41:02And me.
41:04Call and raise five.
41:08Ooh.
41:09No.
41:12Call your five and raise the same.
41:15The same.
41:16And again, sonny.
41:20Call and raise five.
41:23Yes.
41:25And up five.
41:26You don't believe me.
41:31Call and raise ten.
41:35And up 20.
41:38Rubbish.
41:40You're 20 and up four.
41:44You all right?
41:46Yeah, fine.
41:51Call.
41:53Yes, call.
41:58And up 50.
41:59Oh, whoa.
42:01Yeah.
42:08Oh, what can a man do?
42:12Right.
42:15Let's see those cards then, Mr. Scott.
42:20Oi.
42:22Oh, 27.
42:24Oh, too much.
42:26Hard lines, hard lines.
42:32Well, it was a bit interesting, wasn't it?
42:35George?
42:35No.
42:36You're back, George.
42:37You didn't.
42:37Oh, yeah.
42:39Go for George.
42:42Come here.
42:46Don't have a grand, have you, Mum?
42:48No.
42:50What?
42:51No.
42:52Tell your mum I've made a nice pot of tea.
42:55Five's made a pot of tea.
42:57Lovely.
42:58Don't go to sleep, eh?
43:00No, no.
43:05You're 50 and up 50.
43:10Someone's bluffing.
43:13Maybe not.
43:15No.
43:16I'll pass.
43:23I need 20.
43:25You looking at me?
43:26Yeah.
43:26I'm walking home.
43:27So's Kipper.
43:29Yeah.
43:30And George.
43:32I'm sorry, Robbie.
43:34I'm scint.
43:36Not that you never had got it.
43:38All right.
43:40I've got 30 here.
43:42I had a little check for 20 and I'll see you.
43:45You said no markers.
43:46Check's not a marker.
43:47It's cash.
43:48I don't think you've got the other eight.
43:49There's three on the table.
43:50It's a long shot you having the other one in here.
43:54So how are you going to find out?
43:55Mr.
43:56Book's.
44:06I'll see you.
44:08Very friendly gesture.
44:10First the fold, then the loan.
44:13We don't think you've got that eight, darling.
44:17Pity.
44:20Oi!
44:21I can't know.
44:22I would have thought you'd have that.
44:24Well, and I'm 20 pounds.
44:26Of course, in your case, you may not press.
44:29One can never tell.
44:31Thank you so much for the game.
44:48Thank you, Mr. Book's.
44:53Good night.
45:01Good night, gentlemen.
45:04Well, it's a nice and enjoyable evening.
45:09Well, tough and nothing, Robbo.
45:12I'm pecked clean.
45:13No, not just you, Ferret.
45:15Money for all rope, you said, Rob.
45:17Before I sat down tonight, I had half a million quid in my pocket.
45:20Which I put there.
45:21Not all of it.
45:22All bar of fiver.
45:23It was all due to Robbo.
45:25Fair's fair.
45:25All right.
45:27Well, I've had enough.
45:28Yeah, me and all.
45:29It's not my game, poker.
45:31See you, Robbo.
45:32Come on, Mrs. McGregor.
45:34Funny old evening.
45:35Yeah.
45:35Bloody funny.
45:42Are you cross?
45:43I would have been if I hadn't got that last age.
45:47I think we should go back and settle up accounts.
45:51Don't you?
45:58Oh, okay.
46:08aber end.
46:11Oh, my God.
46:12Oh, my God.
46:14Oh, my God.
46:16Oh, my God.
46:17Oh, my gosh.
46:17Oh, my God.
46:18Oh, my God.
46:20Oh, my God.
46:21That's all right.
46:25Oh!
46:28Andrew!
46:33Tee's up!
46:34God, it smells like an elephant house in here.
46:37That's cos we were such lazy sluts.
46:40We didn't clear up last night.
46:43Oh!
46:44It's not your earring, is it, Mum?
46:49That bloody Robbie Box!
46:52There's been a woman here!
46:54What was that?
46:59Oh!
47:01No!
47:03Oh!
47:05What a clown!
Comments